Just thought I would compile a list of all the things that have died in the past 10 years or so.
Well not all everything. Things die innumerably every second whether a person, animal, physical thing, or idea.
These a few of the more obscure.
1) deadoraliveinfo.com- possibly dead. HOW THE FUCK am i gonna know who I am about to outlive now?
2) tumblr porn- for those amphetamine fueled nights where the other 50,000 porn sites didn’t quite cut it.
3) aol IM- the last time i was on here was 8 years ago. All i remember is some black guy from the city randomly Im’d me. I used to yell at him. A lot.
4) AOL chatrooms-
These may still exist within the void of folks still using dialup. This group contains a few personal thins.
Goodbye free passwords.
Goodbye Trisha from Wyoming.
Goodbye Trishas lover
Goodbye free money.
Goodbye AOL sugar daddy.
GOODBYE my johns.
Goodbye my puddlediver.
Goodbye free religious propaganda.
Bye pencil dicks.
Goodbye you’ve got mail.
5) Goodbye Leonard Cohen, the only person i was drunk the whole time from death to funeral thanks to #6.
6) Bye Trump.
7) Bye light cigarettes. And fuck off colored cigarettes.
8) Goodbye me having to imagine obscure celebs shirtless. Holla instagram!!
9) Goodbye Sonic Boom- no one over 21 should be trying random underknown drugs. I could say no one should but teenagers don’t listen.
10) Goodbye vomiting red wine 20 feet from Sonic Boom.
11) Goodbye my insane neighbor and her banshee family.
12) Goodbye giant bags of gum
13) Later Blockbuster
14) Goodbye my 30 inch waist.
15) Goodbye fake facebook friends.
16) Goodbye being spared from 90s action movie stars. They seem to have formed a union where i must see one every week.
17) Goodbye and fuck you hurricane sandy.
Related-
goodbye some of my dishes
Goodbye my lamp
goodbye wendys coffee. Don’t do it. You’d be better off trying Krokodil.
goodbye me being a tool
18)
Goodbye light cigarettes. Thanks for confusing me and every cashier nationwide.
19) Bye Lena Dunham. Seeing your vagina every week was the final cement in me being gay.
20) Goodbye Blockbuster.
21) Goodbye apps that paid me 5 dollars for watching 5 minutes of videos.
22) Goodbye couch guy. I’m never adopting a couch guy again no matter his cuteness or penis. You shouldn’t either.
23) Goodbye shitty seedy cheap weed. How i dont miss my ounce of weed being a quarter ounce seeds.
24) goodbye procrastination. This blog has been in drafts for 4 months.
25) goodbye whatever else i missed.