Month: March 2016

Why Does Anyone Give A Shit About Tyler Perry??!

I for the life of me can’t figure how the hell Tyler Perry (whose initials match with the initials for toilet paper ironically) has made a career out of writing comedy/dramas for television and film. Perry is nothing more than a talentless hack. His tv shows where such blandly generic photocopies of old school, out dated cliche ( late 80’s early 90’s ) mass produced sappy family sitcom fodder. Perry’s writing is so lack luster that in spite of having multiple shows (for a while in the dying years of the WB network 90% of it shows where done by Tyler Perry) I honestly, even after trying like hell can’t remember the single name even one of his shows. I have the same issue/problem when it comes to his movies which are exactly the same poorly written, over acted and dick in any way of direction, they’re  just longer versions of his talentless tv shows with the same rehashed plot lines and generic characters. Perry seems utterly devoid of even a scrap of originality, he’d be better off writing mindless ads.

Obviously I have to address Perry’s biggest fucking claim to fame, the Madea movie franchise and even that is completely vacant of any original thought(s) or creativity. As far as I’m concerned the Madea movies are Tyler Perry’s answer to the crappy Ernest movies (i.e. Ernest Goes To Camp/Saves Christmas) I could tell you every plot of every goddamn motherfucking Madea movie ever made: Holy shit not tired of Perry in drag too bad, Madea has a loving family and friendly fucking neighbors, but hijinks in sue and then they issue is resolved as everyone learns a valuable life lesson that brings them even closer. The themes are interchangeable be it Madea Saves Christmas (where the fuck is Ernest I ask) or  Diary of a Mad Black Woman (The 1st Madea movie made) it doesn’t fucking matter because they all follow the same tired format.

Bottom Line: Tyler Perry The Man, The Myth, THE MORON.

Vegetarians Vs. Vegans

I have no issue with vegetarians there like the Buddhists of the food world. That is they do their vegetarian deal, you can do whatever you want    and everyone eats in peace.

Vegans are a totally different fucking story thats for sure. I absolutely hate the hell out of fucking vegans because they’re the Christians of the food world. That is they feel some ungodly reason to shove their way of eating in your face as they rant like fucking Adolf Hitler on meth about how their way is so much better for you. But thats not all they also feel compelled to lecture arrogantly with a false sense of superiority about how everything you are eating (and every other person on earth) is toxic and slowly killing you. The food you eat (according to them)is killing us by clogging up your colon until the shit literally causes toxic shock syndrome rotting your internal organs, and is compacting in the valves of your heart causing an inevitable shit induced heart attack.

Bottom line: Thank you vegetarians for not being persistent food/diet neo nazi assholes about our dietary differences. Vegans go eat a steak you emaciated, sunken eyed, grey skinned and egotistical assholes.

Right To Unrestricted Research

S.683-114th Congress

(2015-2016)

To extend the principle of federalism to State drug policy, provide access to medical marijuana, AND ENABLE RESEARCH into the MEDICINAL PROPERTIES of Marijuana.

Section 708 (21 U.S.C.903) (b) amended

“(b) COMPLIANCE WITH STATE LAW.-Notwithstanding any other provision of law, the provisions of this title relating to marijuana shall not apply to any person  acting in compliance with State law relating to the production, possession, distribution, dispensation, administration, LABORATORY TESTING, or delivery of medical marijuana.”

Hats off to Viceland

Viceland is a new fledgling television network who’s headquarters are in Brooklynn N.Y. and I have to say good fucking job Vineland. The intelligent documentary style shows are brilliant be it Weediquette, Vine Essentials, Gaycation, F*Thats good, Balls Deep or Noisey and more.

Its about goddamn time someone put out shows that make you actually think about shit instead of sitting on your couch zoned out on Xanax playing Flappy Candy Bird Crunch 12 or some other mind numbing crap.

Viceland is the glimmer of hope (which lets fucking face could be all we have) in the mass produced, cookie cutter ,reality, and competition bullshit. It serves nothing more than being blatant exploitation and IQ lowering trivial mundane mental fluff  in the TV Sea of Endless Vacant minds and vacant thoughts.

Thank fucking christ for Viceland, we need infinitely more like you.

About time for some criticism

From time to time I will be posting reviews of other blogs. I utterly believe with the ever expanding field of blogging that a Critic is well needed, if not a necessity.

So I am happy as hell to announce that (As far as I’m aware. Just saying so some smug douche who’s waiting to talk shit in a know- it- all manner can calm the fuck down and not bother posting a response.) as off now

I am the first official blog Critic

and

May I say that the shit has now hit the fan, shit is about to get real interesting.

Definition of Bottle Club

Bottle Club: A private drinking club; specifically, an association of people, often unknown to one another, for the sole purpose of providing themselves with liquor and a place to drink it after the legal closing hours of public bars or in a city or county where the public sale of alcoholic beverages is prohibited.

Side Note:

Bottle-Man: A drunkard or habitual drinker