October 2018 – Page 2

“Well Twitter Me This Batman…”

Its no secret my favorite one and only Social Media Platform I use is Twitter. I’ve been told I’m prolific and am lucky enough to have a cult following. That doesn’t mean I don’t have issues with Twitter mind you because I do.

Twitter like so many before it has to balance precariously on the thin line of Free Speech. Society can’t make a simple Yes or No answer. Free Speech is a Black and White issue, there is not Gray area of ambiguity here.

If We truly have Free Speech then its for EVERYONE, or let me put it this way if you can say whatever you want SO CAN EVERY ASSHOLE IN AMERICA.

So to deal with this delicate matter Twitter like every other fucking Social Media Platform established a set of Rules and Guidelines designed to allow Free Speech. Thats ONLY IF it does’t violate their User Guidelines which in effect is CENSORSHIP, thus negating True Free Speech.

But I digress as the issue of Free Speech warrants an Entire Post for itself.

Yet Twitter seems to violate its own Rules of Conduct by openly allowing batshit scumfucker’s like Alex “Asshole” Jones or The Obese Orange Fuckass Traitor 45 to continually use their service apparently free from all penalties for violating the established Guidelines for Rules of Conduct.

Now I respect Twitter and Other Social Media Platforms (Except Face Book which is complete Bullshit, and Zuckerberg is a Slimy Little Money Grubbing Millennial Shitfuck.) To try and prevent Nazi’s, Rapists, Religious Fanatics, Political Scumbags, Homophobes, Anti-Semites, Corrupt, Crooked, Criminal, or illegal elements from getting exposure of any kind. That just is common sense to Me.

Now here is my issue with Twiter. Twitter has a rather basic and Parental plan in place to help address any issues of possible violation of Their Rules with a preverbal “Time Out” Yes that is correct.

Your screen will go blank and then a Template Letter Statement from Twitter appears. I can’t quote the fucking thing but I get the fucking gist.

It basically says that Twitter embraces Free Speech AND wants a user friendly platform. Then it accuses you of possibley might have gotten close to breaking the rules so this serves as an Slap On The Wrist if you will.

It informs you that since there could possibly been an issue your account is Limited Access for 12 hours. That means ONLY your followers will be able to see you account/tweets for 12 hours at which point your account is returned to normal.

What pisses Me off to no fucking end is the fact that though the messages says your account has been flagged for possible misconduct IT NEVER GIVES YOU THE/AN EXACT ANSWER. Its just this vague play nice or be punished reminder babble.

To date I have racked up a total of 19 “12 Hour Time Outs”.

I also had My Account put on a Stricter “24 Hour Time Out” Twice thus far.

I recently was given the harshest “Time Out” Yet with the “48 Hour Time Outs”

Now I don’t really understand at all why the fuck My Account is constantly being plagued with this Twitter bullshit. For the Records I do not engage in participate in, or support in any way of the following: Trolling, Threats of Violence to Anyone/their friends/their family/ personal property, pictures of anything of a Pornographic nature, Gun/Weapon Worship (ex. The NRAssholes), Anti-LBGTQ bullshit, Anti-Semetic Bullshit, Nazi Sympathizer Racist shit, Promotion or Glorification of Drug/Alcohol Use, Big Tobacco Bullshit, or anything of an Illegal, Criminal or Corrupt Nature.

The funniest fucking thing is how at this time in my life I’m not just aware of the Rules, BUT I do everything in my power to BEND but NOT BREAK the rules in Life. I seriously TONE DOWN my opinions and Posts by 10 fucking fold, trust me the shit you see I Tweet is just the TINIEST TIP of the fucking IceBurg. And not only that but when I do get put on one of these asinine “Time Out” deals I continue to Tweet, but again I tried much more lightly which I feel is respectful as fuck.

What I do is I do RAIL AND RAGE against primarily the Scumsucking Scumfuck Politicians, Trump the Traitor, Motherfucking MAGA Morons, Rancid Racists, Rapists, Homophobes, Police Brutality and Corruption, Bullshit Big Business (Fuck Walmart, Eat Shit Amazon), The Pharmaceutical Industry, Health Care, and any injustice I perceive. I fully support Underdogs as well as Those wronged by a Shitciety.

My feeling is if your a fucking ELECTED PUBLIC SERVANT aka a Politician and you fuck up or turn out to be a piece of fucking shit than your open to ANY AND ALL RIDICULE from the People who ELECTED YOU and for whom you supposedly work (REMEMBER FOR THE PEOPLE BY THE PEOPLE YOU WASHINGTON DC DICKHEADS?!!)

So yes I admit I insult the hell out of those I deem to be utterly shitty fucking people, and I talk mad shit about them (I do not Troll them, I say what I have to say on my Feed not Theirs.

I also get a kick out of BLOCKING MAGAs because their so fucking stupid that they respond to a Tweet of mine like I give a flying fuck what those fucktards have to say FUCK THE LEMMINGS!)

BUT these aren’t the General Public these are Elected Officials and other People in Power who by the nature of their job deserve to reap what they sow. And if you Sow Shit Seeds you Deserve to Reap Shit Plants.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

Batten Down The Hatches

I’ve been having ominous dreams lately. They are shattered, they are broken. I’m not so sure the reasons why.

I have not been sleeping very well but that is just because I am too happy and distracted by the little things in life that sleep no longer is pleasant.

It is a burden.

The days seemingly grow shorter by the second, not the light in them or the increasing darkness, just the time from Point A to Point B is pulsing rapidly.

Feeling like a heart attack ready to explode, a vein ready to burst, a monopoly ready to hide its assets.

There is a storm approaching fast from the western skies. I am ready for it this time.

I’m not sure how much sun will be left after the fall but I will be tucked away. Safe. Nestled in your arms.

But who are you? Why should I care?

Destiny is calling me but sometimes it just feels like my old friend’s daughter Destiny (who I never met) beckoning me into the forces of much trouble.

And all should live this.

By SpaceDog

Drama Queens Need to Get Themselves Killed

Yup you guessed it this Post pertains to Drama Queens who fall in the category of “People We Love To Hate”.

If you don’t believe me just watch 5 fucking minutes of ANY “Reality” TV Show, and since We are on the subject if you watch “Reality” TV or one of the Contest Shows do Me a favor. STOP READING THIS, GO THE HELL AWAY, AND DON’T COME BACK. I have no time for such Bullshit.

Recently I was informed about a particular Drama Queen who’s shitty shenanigans were reeking a good bit of havoc as it were. Now this isn’t just an EXCEPTIONAL Drama Queen, this Drama Queen could be one for the Books. Here’s what happened in a Nutshell.

My Brother T joined a Pinball Team that is part of a Pinball or as he refers to it as “A Drinking Team that happens to play Pinball.”, but since he joined he’s had a lot of fun, met cool characters, made some friends, and generally has a great fucking time.

The Team meets and was competing on a recent Tuesday evening and my Brother’s Wife L came over to the Bar (They always meet and Play in a Bar with varying venues) where My Brother was already warming up for the nights competition.

Outside in a small group of smokers was a tattooed sudo hipster woman who introduced her self to L as Shittney (remember kids I don’t use real names of People or Places)

Now Shinttney is one of those extremely extroverted personality types that get right up in your personal space, and will tell you anything including seriously personal shit. Shit such as Their Great Grandfather was arrested for molesting a circus Elephant or Their sibling is in jail for blowing up a bus full of fucking Nuns.

So it did’t take Shittney long to inform L that the Owner of the Bar where their playing (and captain of that night’s opposing team) used to date, but not only that she also said she wanted to and I quote “Crush Him”. The first red fucking flag here was the fact that while Shittney and the Bar owner J did date for a while they broke up FOUR FUCKING YEARS AGO, FATAL ATTRACTION MUCH THERE OR WHAT?!!

Granted Break Ups by definition suck and suck bad, but if your not over someone 4 years after splitting up, GET PROFESSIONAL PSYCHIATRIC HELP YOU HAVE SERIOUS PERSONAL ISSUES is all I’m saying.

Red Flag number 2 considering the time-lapse between J and Shittney’s dating period she is far more than likely to be one of those bullshit Voyeuristic Cyber Stalkers.

Their the one’s that slink around in the shadows cast by the Internet’s bastard spawn Social media lurking in silence. Periodically they surf around observing people from either their past like ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, High School Classmates or Co-workers from the past and the present for example just to “See whats new with them.”

Anyway back to the Story Shittney gets her wish as her Team Beats J’s Team for that Night’s Win. AND HERE IS WHERE IT GETS DRAMA QUEEN CRAZY.

The next day following the Competition (and in spite of the fact THEY WON) hopped on Social Media using some Face Book Bullshit as her platform, and then railed against my Brother’s Team

She didn’t just go after her ex boyfriend and Team Captain she singled out even single member of the Team in this bullshit tirade. The main accusation (which of course Shittney is portraying as a hard cold Fact) is that the entire Team are cheaters.

Yup their scumbag cheaters who try and cheat every chance they get, they don’t obey the rules, and rig game play (I’m still unsure of what that criteria is or means but I’m doing my best here so if you don’t like it well shit on you.) and as par of the shitty social media madhouse several Pinball Trolls jumped on the band wagon in agreement.

Now I ask you Ladies and Gentlemen,

WHO THE FUCK COMPLAINS,BITCHES, AND INSULTS THE OTHER TEAM WHEN THEY’RE THE FUCKING WINNERS?!!!

“YOU CHEATED!” Accusations stem predominately from Poor fucking Losers as an excuse for why they suck as bad as they do. Trust me they suck big and they suck hard (that didn’t come out quite like I meant it, but I’m leaving it as is.)

In the End J stepped down as Team Captain, My Brother’s Team lost 2 great guys as well as terrific players, J finally made a statement addressing the accusations a bit late in the game, and finally J and Shittney sat down and recorded a Podcast that addressed any and all current ongoing issues between the two teams.

To lighten the mood a bit I’m going to list the main types of the assorted Drama Queens we find ourselves surrounded by and having to deal with. WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE SO DON’T BULLSHIT. Either a friend, Family Member, Co-Worker/Boss, Friend of a Friends, Wife/Husband, Someone’s kid(s), someone you dated, or some sort of run in with a Drama Queen

The Terminator’s: They earn their name from the Arnold Schwarzenegger because like Arnold said so eloquently “I’ll Be Back” These are the Drama Queens that Stalkers are made of. They can’t let go, in fact their lives become dominated with the daydream that perhaps one day you two will be reunited in Love. These People are fucking DELUSIONAL.
The Shakespeare: These are women driven solely by Revenge. They are the “Wrath of Women Scorned” demographic. Everything shitty in the past relationship and since is YOUR FAULT and thus YOU SHALL PAY. These are the Dangerous fuckers due to the penchant for violence.

3. The Victim: These people have taken Victimization and transformed it into a fucking art form. Their lives would be wonderful if everyone they know or encounter wasn’t out to spite them, cheat them, abuse them, lie to them, fuck them over etc. These are the ones that claim they can’t obtain Heaven being dragged down by so many other People’s Hells.

4. The Isolationist: These are the simplest forms or types of Drama Queens. The shun the usual shit show spectacle opting to Lock Themselves in a room classically a Bed or Bathroom is the preference of such people. They are the slow grind as dealing with them is like a fucking Police Hostage Negotiation where the Victim and the Perp are the same fucking person

5. The Banshee: The Loudest and likely most theatrical of all Drama Queens. These people will EXPLODE in a TSUNAMI of Hysterical Crying, Wailing, Whining, and other types of non verbal guttural vocalizations. These People keep fucking Kleenex in business.

6. The Shunners: These people take a classic play out of the Amish Playbook. They believe silence makes Guilty People Uneasy so by utterly ignoring you they hope you’ll see where you fucked up and come running to apologize. I for one don’t give a damn if someone wants to act like I’m fucking dead so these people are of no concern to me.

7. The Dark One: These are the Gothic type of Drama Queen. These people will lay around in bed listening to the fucking Cure or some Emo bullshit while refusing to eat. They are the Doom and Gloom People whose worlds are dark and forbidding, a place where love goes to die and shitty poetry written.

8. The Martyr: These people honestly believe that they are the center of the fucking Universe, and without them everyone they knows life would fall the fuck apart, and everyone would meet a horrible fate. These are the classic “Get off the Cross someone needs the Wood” people.

Well Thats all I Have For Now.

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober

From The Frying Pan into The Fire: Life Working in f-yourblog’s R&D Department

To Our Loyal Readers I feel I owe you an explanation. I wrote a Post way back when that stated f-yourblog’s mission and creative process, but like all things evolution will prevail.

One of the various reasons f-yourblog has been a bit of a neglected child is there are intact several different projects We have in the works. With so many pokers in the fucking fire time management has always been the key, and I have a flawed concept of time.

I act mainly as Creative Content and consement Idea Man. I rarely have a single fucking clue how to pull off any of my grandiose ideas. I’m basically broke, Tech Inept, and have little patience for technology which I have come to utilize as well as despise. Evolution like I said is unstoppable.

I chosen method of learning seems to be the trade and true “Trial By Fire” school of thought. I also can get easily distracted by working on numerous projects so in the immediate future I will be delegating much more responsibility.This is so I can devote my total time and attention to one project at a time which is what they deserve.

I decided it be simple enough to give our Readers a brief peak behind the preverbal curtain as it were. Here are a few of Our ongoing projects.

We are furthest to completion with Our “2 Guys Talking Shit” Podcast showcasing the insane thoughts of SpaceDog, Les Sober, and Friends as the discuss all the mayhem and madness in their minds in Real Time.

2. Our current Book in the works Global Graffiti : A Retrospective in Street Art as I mentioned in Our last Post is a Pictorial Collection of Graffiti from/found around the World. Graffiti has become an essential and integral part of evolving Global Societies serving as both Art and as a Current Social Compass. Graffiti is the Underdog of the Art World (and who thought the pretentious Art assholes could shit on anything more than they shit on Photography?!!), AND I FOR ONE LOVE UNDERDOGS.

3. We are close to establishing a Cross/Dual Promotion with Our dear Friends over at N@P who are incredible Artists in their own right. Some of N@P’s digitally altered Photographic Graphics have already been feature in 2 of f-yourblog’s previous posts recently.

4. We are entertaining doing a Vlog type scenario to accompany Our soon to be released Podcast where Fans would go from Readers, to Listeners, and then end up as Viewers (Evolution Again). Essentially it would be a video of Us all while we abound into obscene absurdity thats guaranteed to Entertain as much as it Offends.

I’m not so sure about this idea because I’m paranoid when it comes to technology (internet/social media) when it comes to my privacy. Also I think the idea of just using a disguise be it a Mask or Make-up etc. is a bit cliche, BUT really if one goes the hidden anonymity route via a disguise its not as easy as one would think.

A good disguise is a true art form because any asshole got put on a mask or lather themselves up in fucking face paint.

5. Perverse Pictures is the Indie Movie company thats in its infancy. I have always been a prolifically rabid movie fan since I was fucking born. I also am a Great Admirer of Lloyd Kauffman and Troma Pictures who have been dealing in Independent Film for literally as long as I have been Alive.

Also as of recently (sometime last year) became an admirer of the New Cult Classic “The Room” and its infamously mysterious, intriguing, and passionate Writer/Director/Star Tommy Wiseau.

I dream is to one day to collaborate with both Mr. Kauffman and The Troma Team, and Mr.Tommy Wiseau one day. It be fucking unbelievably grand.

(Above On Left Tommy Wiseau / On Right Lloyd Kauffman w/ The Toxic Avenger)

The 2 Films We have in the Works are:

“The Cannibalistic Cocaine Cartel” by Justin Sane – See What Happens when Criminals and Cannibals Go Hand in Mouth.

“Shoot My Face Off I Like It” a Documentary by Your’s Truly focusing on the Video Game of Urban Legends.

6. Revenge Records is a label I’m establishing as a Home for the Wayward Unconventional or Unorthodox Indie Acts. Lets face it the Big Lables are all but fucking Dead to begin with. Youtube reigns as the New Agent that represents ANYONE from ANYWHERE around the World.

The only issue with Youtube is its 2018 and it/the market is FLOODED with Millions of Posts in a single fucking day. They grossly outnumber talented Acts/People and they drown in a Sea of Mediocrity obscured by the mundane. It was easy in the beginning when there were only a few thousand videos a person could view., but Justin Bieber blew up Youtube, and every idiot came running.

This makes Independent Record labels more vital than ever as the Mediators for the transition from The Old School Ways to The New School Methods.

7. The Lost Souls Studios goes hand in hand with Revenge Records because whats the point of being a Record Label and paying some outside asshole for the use of their recording facilities. If you make Records then you need a place to Record so it just seems blatantly obvious that you should posses your own Studio. Its a “If you want it done right do it Yourself” meets “Why pay for something you can do Yourself”.

Lost Souls isn’t just for Musicians. You want to do Spoken Word, Record Reading a Book, Recording a final Will and Testament, Hell I don’t care if you want to record yourself taking a 7 hour shit if you think theres Artistic Value to it.

Lost Souls will also serve to benefit Perverse Pictures as most if not all Indie movies have to come up with or write their own soundtrack because Royalties are absolutely fucking outrageous. And again it helps if you own your own Studio.

8. Finally We have Ponder This Productions. This again will Aid in Lost Souls Records as well as Perverse Pictures. I chose the name because I believe in shit, art included, that makes you HAVE TO THINK. You want 2 hours of mindless so called entertainment go see a Micheal Bay CGI shitshow. The sign of a good Movie or Song to me is the same. If I see it or hear it AND then find myself thinking about it the next day I’m hooked.

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober

Global Graffiti : A Retrospective in Street Art

One of my fascinations lies in my intense interest in Graffiti Art/ Artists from around the Globe.

Graffiti has a Message be it Political, Social, Independent Thought, Original Ideas/Concepts, or Art for The People to enjoy (to provide a reprieve from the mundane toiling of work and obligations that dominate most of our lives.)

Art is Universal.

So its no surprise that one of my various projects is assembling a pictorial showcasing Street Art of all kinds in any and all forms that it inhabits.

Here is a Sampling of Content from the upcoming “Global Graffiti : A Retrospective in Street Art”

Collected, Compiled, and Arranged By

Les Sober

Letters From The Fallen

Dearest Deidre,

I’m not sure where we are going. It was really great to finally see you after all the years had gone by. We have been through a lot together. Yet still you continue to disappoint me. We once had such high hopes, for ourselves, for each other, for the world

Yet these all crumbled over time. Things began so great, but aren’t things always great before they inevitably would fall apart. We lived in a land of perfection, but the perfection we experienced was just the eye of the storm. The storm whirls around us constantly.

I never knew there was a storm for such a very long time. Things were different back then. I was different. We were different. But I look back. And I realize. Things were almost the same. Exactly. To the tee. We may be longer in the tooth, we may be wider in the hips (wait I’m not a chick), we may be colder inside.

Still it remains. That piece of hope that never dies. We see it in ourselves, some days it shines bright, other days we hold it all in wondering if it still exists. Yet it does in me. I hope it does in you but a lot of times I’m not really all that sure.

Someone told me some things about you. I didn’t believe. I was naive. Funny how we can be so jaded, yet so naive. You promised me false hope. You left me with nothing. Little did you know I like nothing. I am invisible, the transparency is abundant. The veil has been cast.

I will wrap this up now. You need to follow your heart. You need to put it back together. My heart has been healed, along with my mind and my soul. Take the time and say hi to Neil for me.

xoxoxoxo
kyren

SO, this letter is not to anyone in particular. It could be read into and picked apart and well you may think you are Deidre. Most likely you still are not. You see the world is Deidre. Life is her.

We start off so carefree and innocent. We have so many hopes. For life. For love. For how we want things to be. But then the ideals in our minds of how the world should be are broken down by people who want to impose a new worldview upon us. We can personally choose to talk to them. Have a debate. Yell at one another over coffee and crumpets.

still even if we choose not to yell or starbuck fuck these people, these people still permeate the atmosphere with their negativity. I feel it everyday. I see it all the time. People that are just completely miserable and don’t do a thing about it. It poisons us.

people that are not free. they also are a cancer. I dont mean people imprisoned. People who build their own prison and never leave. I am never going back behind my own walls of doom. Nor should anyone.

We, as a nation, need to give ourselves more freedoms. Less control over us. We need to be accepting of all people and not have the government run our lives. We need to get national health care, take those stupid fucking drug ads off the tv, prescription ones that is. We need to show fucked up shit like the commercial in the UK with the girl sending text messages and dying in the car.

Other then that the government needs to back off. Stop printing money. If you are going to print ridiculous amounts of money, please give me some. Or let me rob a bank. Who would miss it?? God knows where the bailout money went. Lining someone’s pockets.

I am disappointed by people every day. It’s crazy. Still the same people that provide the disappointment can bring me hope, joy, and serenity. For that I say nothing. I simply smile.

By SpaceDog

Texting In The Eye of The Shiticane

Once again I find myself having to Apologize. Repeatedly in Our continuing attempt to raise f-yourblog.com up to its full potential have suffered another self induced delay. Well what can We say other than We fucked up, BUT We are working diligently to defuckulate the situation.

As it were We had f-yourblog.com had the offer of a lifetime so passing on it wasn’t even considered and option. Thus We have been away somewhere across The Pond for the last 10 days being Spoiled like motherfuckers. I’ll leave it at that for now as it will be covered in a Piece to be posted in the immediate future.

As soon as I was Stateside I texted SpaceDog and preceded to have yet another of Our Legendary Texting Sessions, and This One Made The Cut.

So without further ado I give you TEXTING IN THE EYE OF THE SHITICANE:

SpaceDog: Oh Shit were u in Italy? I think that’s where u told me u were going at one point. Oh you missed it a 120 minute trump shitshow press conference. Highlights include him saying Democrats are gonna dig up dirt on george washington and that the world at the UN was laughing with him not at him (complete with nonsensical 10 minute explanation)

Les: Yeah We were in Tuscany. 120 minute trump conference…did Hell freeze over while I was gone?! Did hear trump got his fat orange ass laughed outnof the UN LMFAO!!! So officially the entire fucking world is mocking the shit out of trump while laughing right in his fucking face!!!

SpaceDog: Fuck u diane lane. I mean nice. Nah he was talking a lot of crazy all week cuz the UN came to NY.

Les: We should lock the White House down like a CDC Drill, pump it full of MDMA through the AC Vents and let the GOPieces of Shit rape the shit out of each other to death. Problem Solved. MDMA or Flakka Smoke. MDMA is too good for those fuckers! BATH SALTS IT IS!! That way the scumfuckers can eat each others faces while violently raping each other’s orifices beyond Surgical Reconstruction. LMMFAO

SpaceDog: Yeah bath salts. Maybe flake for trump so he’s also disfigured as he’s getting eaten. OK I’ve taken matters into my own hands.

Les: Seriously who the fuck goes to Medical School and decides to be a fucking Proctologist or Urologist?! I mean its the actual shittiest/ pissiest job of fucking medical Professionals?!!

SpaceDog: I’ve been deleting games and quitting games from my phone and computer so far taking me 2 hours. Trying to give all my shit away so i have no desire to fucking play.

Les: Someone’s parents happy about that? Like do they go to cocktail parties and brag their asses off about their wonderful son The Rectologist Ass Doctor OR do they just leave the Ass Doctor part out and just refer to their kid as Doctor?! DAMN.

SpaceDog: IDK maybe someone that likes seeing a lot of dick, but idk its not like u are seeing good dick. I mean i guess u are comparing best case scenario for dick and all i guess.

Les: That’s dedication to the cause. 2 hours of deleting shit?! You sure you don’t work for the government? LOL!

SpaceDog: Like maybe one day u see someone 60 and say we;; I’m glad my balls may only sag a little bit and do not touch my knees. Yeah hillary had me delete some emails. It was mainly 90 minutes in one game mindlessly donating tokens.

Les: DICK WARS on FOX this Fall!

SpaceDog: Then finding all the games in hidden places on my computer like a 14 year old with porn magazines or a guy trying to hide booze from the wife.

Les: So what finally made you want to get out of gaming? At 60 I’m tucking my testicles into my knee socks.

SpaceDog: Because I’ve been doing it 10-12 hours a day for 6 years.

Les: 90 minutes thats kinda hardcore.

SpaceDog: I keep going to all kinds of anonymous meetings and they tell me its not a problem even though I’ve told 3 different sponsors (recent) and 11 in total over the course of my life.

Les: LMFAO! BOOZE! PORN MAGS!

SpaceDog: Makes me think if dammer ever went to AA or NA they would say “Well as long as you are not drinking and reading the big book I really don’t see any issue with you eating a few boys every once in awhile.

Les: I apologize I haven’t smoked in 9-10 days and my Wife got CHinses Food so I’m all fucking over the fucking fuck

SpaceDog: No ganja in Tuscany? Haha i had Chinese today i think the greasy ass egg roll threw me into a rage.

Les: I looked into where you can get it and like America either you know a fucking guy or find a guy that knows a fucking guy. They said students and places with a younger demographic areas were where to look. That though is just painfully fucking obvious. Italy does sell legal “Marijuana Light” called so because of its fucking low ass THC level.

SpaceDog: The O’douls of Reefer

Les: Bullseye!

SpaceDog: I guess Amsterdam or Portugal would be better, actually even Canada is better.

Les: Its low as fuck all compared to the killer shit America is growing now a days and shit. People called it “fake weed” and complained about it giving them headaches and shit.

SpaceDog: I mean the cheapest legal place is Uruguay but I’d be scarred I’d get abducted there. Yeah if its from a machine its bound to be crap.

Les: Yeah I do love weed but not even I am going fucking anywhere near Africa, fucking everything in Africa fucking kills you. There was a store that was faker than fuck called CANNABIS that I looked into after hearing a ton of people shit talking it. Everything says Marijuana on it BUT ITS CBD ONLY, no THC whatsofuckingever. Its a classic fucking bait and switch false advertising scam.

SpaceDog: Uruguay is in South Africa but Africa yeah 1000 x’s over i don’t wanna go there. Maybe Casablanca if i can go back in time to when the movie was made or ancient Egypt but fuck current Africa. Oh whoopee do LOL! Thought i did almost buy gummies with CBD and melatonin but the dude wanted $30.

Les: Its all derived from the same fucking plant, but these cunters where misleading people by making them think they’d get a buzz, but it was just CBD your not getting Amsterdam Merch Here.

SpaceDog: Oh yeah so i may be quitting beer specifically because that entitled douchbag supreme said he really liked beer 15-20 x’s during his hearing. Maybe i will start the red wine. That’s the only booze i projectile vomit. That’s always fun.

Les: Kavanaugh is a complete CUNT, that fuck is getting raped by Hitler in Hell the fucking piece of living breathing fucking shit. CASTRATE KAVANAUGH! Cut his rotten cock off. AND NOW the rancid pecker fucker ruined BEER?!! GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. Is there any fucking thing Trump and his GOPieces of Shit don’t fucking shit all over for fucking fucks sake. Waterboard that Supreme Court Cunt with Natty ICE till he’s fucking deader than dead the asshole deserves it. Well if you gotta vomit projectile is the best way to go I believe.

SpaceDog: All things projectile is better except when you jazz past your face and have no idea where the wad landed.

Les: Who the fuck green lit Murphy fucking Brown 2018?! How the fuck is Candice Bergeron not dead as fuck?!

SpaceDog: Out of all the reboots (including Fuller House) it is by far the worst.

Les: Thats why I where a face mask when I jerk off.

SpaceDog: I fell asleep 3 different nights trying to watch.

Les: Yeah but unlike typically rebooted shit their continuing it like it never went off the air or some fuckshit, I mean Candice looks like a blonde Liza Minelli. Botox Bombed out Blound. I guess 45 to 50 fucking facelifts at least, and she still is older than fuck, and not that mush better looking in spite of the gross amount of Plastic Surgery. No one remembers that fucking show so in the end who fucking cares?! LMMFBO!

SpaceDog: They should remake this horrible show. Watch “Dangerous Women TV Show Intro” on Youtube. I vaguely remember my parents watching it and it not being very funny. Not the women murphy brown not so funny.

Les: Yeah it was all political as shit. “The Series Return” that’s how fuck me Fox is billing this Bullshattery.

SpaceDog: Only one I’m honestly glad returned from the dead is Will and Grace since no one seems to be in much of a hurry to do it. Christ sometimes i think I’m gonna have to do it myself. Though that Australian show with the gay guy was good. The Stuff nightmares are made of. It’s like they sewed together the faces of all the dead Golden Girls to remake hers.

Les: I think bringing back Will and Grace would definitely be interesting shit. TV has become boring as shit. I’d especially like to see it comeback under your direction. That be entertaining.

SpaceDog: Its been back gonna be year 2 this year.

Les: What Australian Show was that?! I must have missed that one? Getting older is a shit reason for being absent minded. What Really?! Dear fucking Christ on a cocking where the fuck have I been? Oh wait living under a fucking rock apparently.

SpaceDog: Please Like Me…..i think it’s on HULU. The main guy is gay but thats mostly it besides the guys he dates. It was on the networks on some weird channel i never heard of that got axed.

Les: Cool I just scored my Brother’s HULU password so GAME FUCKING ON!

SpaceDog: Do u use IMDB? If i sign up for an account, do you know if i can get alerted to when actors/actresses have new projects coming out? Like how Spotify tells me about albums and concerts.

Les: Sounds like one of those shows ahead of its time and shit so at the time the general moronic public couldn’t understand it and it met an untimely demise.

SpaceDog: Yeah its pretty fucking dark sarcasm humor not all daisies and bullcrap.

Les: I’m not even sure I can recollect what the hell IMDB is, I’m the Technology Anti-Christ or some shit.

SpaceDog: Internet movie database

Les: Dark Sarcasm I’m in.

SpaceDog: I see one hot guy in one movie and i cyberstalk everything they’ve been in.

Les: I really wish I knew of this database much fucking sooner.

SpaceDog: And drunk tweet them and shame delete in the morning.

Les: LMFBO! Shame Delete!!

SpaceDog: I just assumed everyone knew. I’ve been on the internet since AOL.

Les: Think we have all but been there. I’m a Techtard. I’m always having to fucking catch the hell up LMTB!

SpaceDog: The biggest “celeb” that responded was the sprint/Verizon guy. Can u hear me now? Trump would say thats bigly sad.

Les: That be trump for you that fat orange fucktard, that baby dick having bitch boy, could he want to fuck his daughter any more?!! The fat filthy son of a bitch scumfucking scumfucked scumfucker scumfuck! ORANGE WANK MAGGOT! I can’t WAIT to shit on Trump’s fucking grave. I’m talking downing Exlax like Beer before hand and a German Industrial Institutional Grade Enema on Site.

+I sent SpaceDog one of those Personalized Emojis that fucking look like you. It’s one of the really fucking random shit that just appears from time to time. Its Me holding the 50 pound Shit Emoji thats as big as my Avatars fucking head. And not only does the Shit Emoji have the classic Smile and Wide Eyes but this one has a bright pink ribbon on top. My avatars head is slightly tilted with a slight smile that makes me look like a fucking sociopath.+

Les: WTF is this emoji for?! I had to wait a fuck long time for an opening anyfuckingwhere to use this absurd fucking thing.

SpaceDog: Idk 1) when i tell you that may fiber is working? 2) I just gave someone Benefiber recently maybe then? 3) can’t wait to shit on your face 40 text it to the Wife immediately before you give her a Dutch Oven.

Les: It looks like I came to your house, rang your fucking doorbell, and then presented you with a 50 pound pile of shit emoji like some fucking welcome to the neighborhood type shit cake or perhaps its a congratulatory “Its a Girl” new born baby gift?! Or just plain old pile of shit thats as big as my fucking head with a bow on the bitch to make it what a fucking present?! IT FUCKING DOESN’T ADD UP BABYCAKES! #3 Winner Winner Chicken Dinner! Second Place #4.

SPaceDog: Third place i shit so hard your toilet is clogged u need a plumber. They need a guy with his asscrack showing emoji.

Around this Time Gorged on Opulent amounts of Chinese Take Out, and High as a fucking Kite I fell the fuck asleep so sue me. And thus concludes this installment of Les and SpaceDog’s Textology.

By Les Sober & SpaceDog