Month: March 2019

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (5/365)

Lee looked over to catch a quick First Glimpse of the in coming Customer. As it turned out it was in fact was Two Young Gentlemen that looked to be in Their late 20’s, and who were locked in a heated debate over something They both seemed very animate about. Lee sat back and began His observations. Lee had a good feeling about these Two Guys, and anticipated  some quality Entertainment to get the Day off to a running start.

The Two Young Men headed strait to the Dildo Isle where Their argument became much more amplified as Each became more and more Frustrated with the Other. Lee opened a Copy of Some trashy Adult Novel and pretended to read it feigning an aloof ambivalence. This was a common Tactic Lee used to hide the fact He was now Ease Dropping on Shoppers just like He was with these Two Young Men.

   

“Well We can fucking Narrow it Down by Illuminating all the ones that look as Fake, We need to stick to Realism because not even a Psychotic Cannibalistic Necrophiliac would have a Giant Purple Double Headed Cock So there You have it.” Said the Young Guy wearing a pair of Beat Up Sneakers, Old Worn Out Jeans, and a Faded well worn Misfits T-shirt as He relentlessly scanned the Dildo Display (back and forth from End to End) with an intense 1,000 Yard Stare.

“I know BUT look at the fucking prices They’re charging for Fake Rubber Dicks its fucking Really Ridiculous. All I’m saying is I hope these fucking things last just short of Forever for the Price People are Paying.” replied the Second Young Guy in the Camouflage Cargo Shorts, Napalm Death Concert T-shirt, and a pair of Knock Off Crocs.

   

“Look Shane I know money is always an issue with Lester, BUT He goddamn is well aware this will be an unforeseen additional cost. I mean He’s the fucking Director, and this isn’t His first Rodeo not by Far. Lester has been Making B-Horror and Low Budget Sci Fi Films for a Decade at least.” snapped The Guy in The Misfits T-shirt to His Associate who was apparently named Shane.

“I’m aware of the issue at hand Glen,” Shane stated calmly before continuing “Lester wants a Real looking though be it Fake Dick for the Film, and that He also is insanely anal about the Films Budget getting out of Hand. It’s a huge pain in the ass I agree, Yet Lester has a point in the fact that if We go too far over budget the Project gets shut down and shelved  in a  Filmography Warehouse or some other Bizarre shit.”

   

“Well anyway You look at it if Lester wants realism He’ll have to just bite the fucking bullet and kick out the Cash. I mean once again Lester has to be aware that this is a 1 possibly 2 scene prop and thats it. After one or two scenes it’ll be ruined I mean thoroughly thrashed.,” Glen Barked gruffly before launching into a full blow tirade, “The Point is there is the Scene where Eddie is Jacking Off with the aid of a fucking Cheese Grater so one side of the Prop is shot. Not to mention all the Fake Blood is going to be a serious Staining issue, and if We can’t find a way around said staining issue the Prop is totally fucked as soon as We cut. Then even if We pull off the scene avoiding further damaging the Prop that’s only until Linda’s Character Castrates Eddie’s Character. The Prop will literally be Cut in Half so its Not like this is a one time Purchase. This isn’t going to be Lester’s Go To Fake Dick for the rest of His Films because the facts are it’s a one Film 2 Scene Prop at Best.”

   

Tune in Tomorrow for the Next Installment of Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (6/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (4/365)

The last Porn Sho point Lee was mulling over in his head was along with everything else was that with Social Acceptability now Free from the Religious Righteousness, Guilt, Stigma, Demonization, and Stereotyping of the Past had directly correlated to the Social Shift in Porn Shop Cliental.

The Days of Porn Shops being Inhabited by Lone Pale skinned, Greasy Haired, Sunken Eyed Porn Zombies or Perverts in Trench Coats with Fedoras pulled down over Their eyes, and Hardcore Porn S&M Types had faded into the Obscurity of Days gone By.

In the Times since the Social Shift Porn Shop Customers suddenly became Normal Everyday People They could be anyone You see or pass on the Street. Post is They look just like You or A Soccer Mom. People came in and Smiling, Joking, and just had some fucking fun in Todays Times.

Not to mention Porn Shops started to be frequently Patronized by Couples of all Sexual Types and Orientations. Boy Fiends, Girl Friends, Fiancees, Life Partners, and Married Couples opening a whole new accessible demographic who would have literally NEVER set foot in a Porn Shop thats for fucking Sure.

   

It was then that Les realized His eyes were closed and He had just become aware of it. Damn too many Beers last Night at the Bar Lee thought to Himself as He was already battling a Brutal Hangover. Considering sitting still would only contribute to the issue at hand Lee hopped off the Stool behind the Check Out Counter, and figured now was a good as time as ever to do a little inventory. Nothing like counting Dildos and Inflatable Fuck Dolls to get the Blood Flowing, well it at least it keep Him awake.

A few minutes past as Lee counted Cockrings and Clit Stimulators when He hear the Front Door Bell. Ah the first Customer of the Day Lee thought as He was glad to have anything to do other than fucking Inventory. Lee strode quickly back behind the Cashiers Counter, and took a seat on the rickety Bar Stool and, waited eagerly to see what the preverbal Cat dragged in Today for Him to Observe.

   

Stay Tuned For Tomorrow’s Installment of Lee Jonitits: Professional People Watcher (5/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

Happiness is a Warm Gun

I see the colors changing.

I’m finally realizing that life is like a giant kaleidoscope with its plethora of color and its fading blur to brilliant clarity. In amongst all of the chaos is everyone we know, everyone we have known. For a reason or for a season the experiences wilth these particular people influence us a great deal.

I have finally removed the negative aspects from my life. Most of the time my brutal honesty gets me in trouble. I feel I have nothing to hide even though this tends to scare the vast majority of people off.          

Of course I will not share many of my dreams with a whole lot of people because friends, strangers, and most of humanity will try to bring us down. They will tell us that our goals are unattainable, that we will inevitably fail. The people that tell we will succeed,  we keep closer or we regard as friend or at the very least we regard them in a positive light.

You see, I firmly believe the reason people put us down is not simply to put us down. It is their morose attitude towards our dreams because their dreams have failed them for whatever reason. They feel too old and too tired to move on and their dreams become stagnant.

   

Yesterday, I was fascinated by something I heard by two different individuals. Both were in their 40s and one of them is definitely not lacking in personality. Yet the boredom confused me a great deal. Sure, I have been bored at various times in my life but mostly because I hated the whole world. I let the malaise, the hatred, the general feeling of frustration, you know name it and if it was negative I somehow let it effect me. Boredom never though. I have too much to discover and explore and do. I will not give up like the rest of them. I will not be the drone the world expects and the world expects so many drones. They want us all to be drones.

The paradigms are shifting. The world is turning upside down. I can feel the light from certain people and it envelopes me. It effects me so much just like the negative. I sometimes feel it through every bone in my body. And then I smile.

   

I had forgotten what a smile was.

But back to the kaleidoscope. I have been through enough frustration to throw the whole kaleidoscope down to the ground. I tried to break it but it would not break. I always felt the light, the presence of something else inside of me. A shred of love, a shred of color. No matter the situation, we all still have the color inside of us, the love inside.

And that is all for now. Hope everyone has a Splendid Day, and may your hearts not be heavy and your cup somewhat full (at the very least).

 By SpaceDog

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (3/365)

Along the way as Porn Shops became Cleaner, Safer, and more Socially Acceptable Their availability to the Public became Greater. Porn Shops now could operate Out in the Open giving Them a much more viable and visible presence in the Community so to speak.

Back in the Old Days One had only one of two options when it came to visiting a Porn Shop. Now first off in BOTH scenarios the Trips are made at Night as even the most Hardcore Porno Fans wouldn’t venture out in Daylight to visit a Porn Shop. It was totally out of the Question because You always ran the risk of Someone You knew seeing You, and back then that was a huge fucking deal.

   

Now You either lived in a City, and had to circumnavigate the Perils of The Trip to the Porn Shop. Since Porn was Persecuted at the time if You went to a Porn Shop You had to stray into a truly shitty Neighborhood. You would have to weave in and out between the Hookers, Junkies, Pimps, Drug Dealers, Muggers, Petty Thieves, Hustlers, Police (who could and most likely would arrest you), and Homeless. And as You did You pass other so called Unsavory Businesses such as Shady Strip Clubs, Porno Movie Theaters, Pawn Shops, Liquor Stores, Abandoned Store Fronts, and Flea Bag Hotels the kind that Rent by the Hour.

That or if You lived in a Rural or Suburban Area You had a serious Drive in front of You if You wanted to pop by Your “Local” Porn Shop. Suburbia is just as bad as if You lived in a Remote Rural Area. Thats due to the Unwritten Rule of No Porn in Places People go to Raise Their Kiddies. Well the Internet fucked that Up for Suburbanite Parents.

   

Anyway if You lived in the Rural or Suburban setting the Porn Shop would be on Average 45-60 minutes away in the middle of Bumblefuck Nowhere so remote They don’t even have Street Lights. That meant You’d have to drive late at Night Down some long, dark, and winding Country Backroads while worrying about hitting a Deer (or some other Woodland Critter along the way.)

It was  identical to how Psychiatry is widely Accepted and Utilized Nowadays by the Members of Society free from the Stigma of the Past where only “Crazy” or “Seriously Disturbed” People saw Shrinks. Porn Shops just like Psychiatry were once Demonized had now come Full Circle, and now instead of be ostracized by Society where now a Welcomed Addition.

 

Stay Tuned To Tomorrows Installment of Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (4/365)

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (2/365)

Lee spent the early Day downtime pondering why Anyone still Patronized Porn Shops. Lee like the name Porn Shop as it seemed more Honest than the watered down Adult Store/ Adult Book Store. Why would Anyone bother going to a Porn Shop with the Infinite Universe of Free Internet Porn that could be viewed in (the Protection and Privacy of) One’s Own Home.

It was very similar to when VHS Tapes became available to the General Public it was inadvertently the Final Nail in the Porno Movie Theaters. The principle reasoning is fucking Identical in Why go out and risk embarrassment/Arrest when You could now watch all the Porn you wanted at Home for the First Time thus negating the need or use of Porno Movie Theaters.

Lee surmised that the Principle Reason People still Frequented Porn Shops was simply Instant Gratification. If One wanted say a Certain Sex Toy (outside of the Free Porn Movie Clips/Movies/Scenes) One has to wait for it to be Delivered. Even with 2 day, Priority, and Overnight shipping People want what the want as fast as fucking possible optimally without waiting.

Lee also had come to the conclusion that the Evolution of the Porn Shop over just short of 5 Decades had a great deal with People still Utilizing Porn Shops, and Porn Shops Widening Their Customer Base. The Old Days of the Dingy, Dank, Poorly Lit Porn Shops with Their Sticky Floors and Shady Clientele had gone the way of the Dodo. Porn Shops used to be on the outer fringe of Society operating in a sketchy “Legal Grey Area” since Technically in the 1970’s Porn was basically Illegal. Customers of Porn Shops or Adult Porno Movie Theaters ran the risk of Being Arrested in a Police Raid.

     

Then over the Years Porn slowly became more accepted by Society as a whole. So it was this Social Shift that allowed Porn Shops to essentially come out into the Open and Operate like any other legitimate Business. And with being allowed to Operate without Legal issues/trouble Porn Shops literally cleaned up Their act.

Porn Shop became bright and well lit with Loud and Colorful Advertising Posters on the White Sterile Walls. Suddenly Porn Shops went from Sleazy STD Ridden Barely Legal Shitholes to Viable Commercial Retail Shops that resembled Walmart more than a Scummy Den of Vice.

   

Stay Tuned for Tomorrows Installment of Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watch (3/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

Open Letter To Face Book (Well a Copy of The Letter I sent Them)

(If it isn’t obvious to some I added the Pics for the Post Only They weren’t included with/in the Original Letter.)

Dear To Whom It May Concern,

I am attempting to reactivate My Facebook Account (of which I am currently Lock Out of) from over 8 years ago. I am aware there is an Identity Verification Option where I present you a copy of My Driver’s License that would resolve this Issue. I though have never been offered said Option for reason I Do Not Know or Understand.

Instead of the Identity Verification Option I am limited only to Bot Tests.The problem I am facing with these tests is based on the Question where The User is asked to Match 20 Names of Your Facebook Friends to Their Faces. I find this Bot Test Utterly Absurd to Say the Least.

   

I say that based on the argument that Facebook Friends are anything but a User’s actual Friends. I am fully aware that obviously FB Users have Actual Friends on their FB Pages, BUT those are Their Friends the Knew Previously in Real Life. And I am aware of the possibility that in rare cases FB users do befriend each other and meet up in Real Life. This though is a Rare Exception to the Rule.

The Rule of Thumb is You will is that FB Friends are in fact nothing more than an endless Joke from Professional Comedians to The Man of the Street. The Joke is the Reality that though Their You’re so called Friends Your Nothing but Strangers.

The Mass Majority of FB Users will Never meet or Communicate outside of the initial Friend Request. User’s know NOTHING/NEXT TO NOTHING about Their fucking FB Friend(s), and a lot of the Time Users don’t even fucking know what the hell Their FB Friends even fucking  look like as They use an Avatar or some sort.

   

The Reason FB Users utilize Their FB so called “Friends” is mainly because thats just simply what the fuck Users do. Ego is another motivator as People love to fucking brag about how many FB Friends or Twitter/Instagram Followers They Have like its some major fucking accomplishment.

The Last reason for the FB Friend phenomenon is People racking up Their FB “Friends” to get Attention usually Because They want to further a Project (like Monetizing a Youtube Channel, Website Promotion, Blog Advertisers, or to be Social Media Famous. FB Friends aren’t viable Human Relationship, They’re just a fucking stepping stone to Bigger and Better things FB Users Rather Be Doing or Accomplishing OUTSIDE OF FB.

The Irony of it all is You had virtually fucking NO SECURITY for its Users, and basically created the perfect Tool for Stalkers, Pedophiles, Burglars/Robbers, and Scammers of all kinds. It was ONLY due to PRESSURE from the American PUBLIC, and under great security by the Media that FB finally Back Peddled like a son of a bitch. ONLY then did You fain concern for Your Users Privacy and Safety. So the fact the FB is acting like Self Righteous Assholes over Their New Security to  be a fucking Laughable.

      

Not to mention FB got caught selling User information unbeknownst to Them to 180 different Commercial Companies. FB also funneled User’s PRIVATE INFORMATION to Political Companies can You say CAMBRIDGE ANALYTICA?! Thusly with the History of FB’s Extremely Lax Security until recently, and  FB EXPLOITING THEIR USERS PERSONAL INFORMATION for PROFIT on SEVERAL LEVELS to be down right Criminal, but Zuckerberg knows that He had to Testify down in DC pertaining to the aforementioned FB problems.

This is the Solution I would like to suggest in/with this Letter. FB stops being complete cocksuckers, and Unlock My Old Account by The End of the Business Day. Then FB and I can go back to co existing, and will hopefully never have further communicate with FB on this or Any Other bullshit FB “Security” or Scandal Issues or Problems in the Future.

Sincerely,

 Les Sober

A whine, a whine, and cake

This month has been incredibly hard for me. With my new found dedication to my mind, body, and spirit which includes sobriety, health, and meditation has come a lot of new found pitfalls. Not really new just that I thought quitting smoking would come very easy to me like quitting drugs or quitting drinking, but those did not come on the first try so why should this have.

It has kept me from writing as much I would have liked. But changes need to be imminent, otherwise change will never occur.

That being said. I started writing this yesterday however I needed a bit of a kick in the ass, a nice taste of stupid people, and a little bit of eye candy.

Unfortunately all I saw at the gym were five foot tall power lifting gym rat muscle heads. I’m pretty sure one stood at maybe 4’4″. I always find it cute with double numbers, just not with those two. I guess if I liked women I would like 44 better. I mean Pam Anderson does have a nice rack.

   

Ugh so all these people that think they can drive the speed limit or better in the snow are amusing. It’s not that bad out yet, maybe two or three inches and people drive like they are God. I am waiting for someone to crash into the median in front of me at some point. It would be pretty funny unless an airbag went off or glass broke. Most silly accidents like that are relatively funny.

OK I’ll stop being sick in the head. The funniest thing about the snow is there is always someone on TV shoveling it way, way, way too early. In this case about 15 hours too early. And he looked 70. I wish there was a way to broadcast to all elderly people when they are cutting up.

Or anyone really. Like sometimes my conscious mind seems to take a trip to a far away galaxy. There should be a chip in my head. Bad Spacedog, Bad Spacedog!!!! And transport me to some shackles.

    

That all being said…..I am not in the mood to bitch a whole lot more.

I am in the mood for cake. An entire cake…. decadent, lascivious, homemade, mouthwatering.

Men are like cake.
If I could I would eat cake everyday.
For every meal.
Then I would waddle eventually.
Overly indulged I would not want cake ever again.

Men are like that. You have too many, you will end up waddling or walking with a certain slant or strange visitors in your nooks and crannies.

Yet there are so many kinds of cake. It’s easy to find any old piece of cake. A vanilla with vanilla frosting or a chocolate cake. Minors are kind of like cupcakes. When you are a little cupcake, they are nice and tasty and big cakes are rather frightening or daunting or cumbersome. Hopefully we grow out of cupcakes.

 

Sometimes I still feel like a cupcake or I feel like eating one but I like a biT more satisfaction. And besides cupcakes don’t come in as many flavors.

And my favorite cake. I’m not really sure. My favorite cakes changes from year to year to year. Right now it probably would be Black Forest. But if I went around looking for a man that was black forest I would probably find something similar but not the same. Like a chocolate cheesecake covered in cherries.

But it’s easy to find cheesecake too. In fact most of the men in this world are cheesecakes. You can top them with strawberries, cherries, blueberries but guess what? They are still cheesecake underneath it all. Maybe if I liked cheesecake I would have been the type of person that has had a piece of cake under my grubby little fingers since I was 16 years old but I’ve never really been the biggest fan of cheesecake. It probably would be easier. But why just settle for the cheesecake?

   

I’d even take my second favorite cake, Triple Mousse. Then I find Triple Mousse and realize that cake is no longer what I want. I suddenly am allergic to chocolate. I suddenly am allergic to you. I ponder and I plot and I worry about what I am supposed to do. It would be nice if I could put a rain check on the Mousse or the Black Forest.

But then some days I want pie. And on those days I hide. I love lemon meringue and I love key lime, but the pie sometimes symbolizes what is wrong with life. It is so convenient and so easy, like the crack cocaine of sweets. Hostess and Tastycake and Drakes offer it for a dollar or less at times and it is so accessible. It calls right there and screams my name. It is easy to resist but hard like all other bad things can be at times.

So I sit here on this post snowy day wondering what exactly Christmas cookies are.

   

Then I wonder about Advent calendars. Why can’t their just be a man hiding behind the many days leading up to Christmas? That I can take with me and wake up under the Christmas tree and then just put him away a few days after New Years and forget about him and throw him in the crawl space until the following December.

I suppose some things will never be perfect in the world.

  By SpaceDog

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (1/365)

Lee arrived at work half an hour late. He then proceeded to unlocked the door, walked in, and switched the lights on. Slowly the rows of Florescent Lights that lined the ceiling flickered to life initiating Their Trademark and incessant Hum.  Lee made sauntered lazily to the back office that was in fact a converted Janitorial Closet, and the stench of Bleach and Industrial German Disinfectants still hung in the air.

As Lee counted out his cash drawer he glanced at the Calendar that hung on the wall that was one of the free Chinese Food Restaurant freebies. The Owner was such a  fucking cheap  bastard he made Scrooge look like a fucking shopaholic.

17 more days Lee noted 17 more days until the day he had decided previously to getting the job to quit. You see Lee was a self-proclaimed Professional People Watcher, and in planning Lee had set a standard 90 day time limit for every job he would have along his expiration of Humanity in all its shapes and forms.

Lee excited the shitty excuse for an Office and navigated the row of X Rated DVDs with covers that depicted every sex act imaginable (well the legal ones anyways). He past the racks of Various Sex Toys from Dildos to Cock Rings lined the shop walls. Lastly Lee walked his way through the small assembly of Mannequins dressed in all types of Fetish Wear to the Cashier’s counter.

      

Lee looked at his watch to check the time which was 9:30 am on a Wednesday. Lee took his post on the rickety Bar Stool behind the Counter, Cracked open a Adrenaline Energy Drink, and sat back since business wan’t going to pick up for another several hours at least.

Stay Tuned for Tomorrow’s Next Installment of  LEE JONIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (2/365)

Thanks for Reading,

 Les Sober

1/365

All through out My Life I’ve heard various People parrot the cliche “A Writer Writes” which is a pompous way of saying Never Stop Writing. I mean it sounds like something that a pretentious asshole like James Lipton would fucking regurgitate in an attempt to look Intellectual.

Also I never fails to astonish Me that People can’t seem to wrap Their fucking heads around the Fact that it doesn’t matter how fucking creative someone is CREATIVITY CAN NOT BE TURNED ON AND OFF at will like a fucking Light Switch for fucks sake. No to mention the ominous and every present Writer’s Block lingering over every writers shoulder just waiting to strike.

I know it’s called Writer’s Block but thats kind of bullshit. Writer’s Block is like being asked a question You damn well know You know the answer too, BUT Your mind goes completely Blank. Writer’s Block only gets worse like fucking Quicksand. Once You fall in the Harder You try to think/create Your way out of a Battle with Writer’s Block the more amnesia like it leaves You feeling.

Thats wasn’t My point though. My point is that this temporary creative paralysis can happen to EVERY TYPE OF ARTIST in the World NOT just Writers, but Painters, Sculptors, Graphic Designers, etc. Unfortunately They don’t make a Medication for Creative Impotence.

Fast forward to a few Days ago. I was driving around completing a list of Lives more mundane tasks (such as buying fucking Dog Food) and found Myself pondering the Principle behind the saying “Writers Write”. I started playing with My perception of the subject at that current time to see if I could get a better understanding. Then it suddenly occurred to Me perhaps that it wasn’t an Egotistical Statement but rather a Piece of Advice.

What if I simply took the saying Writers Write at Face fucking Value, and didn’t try to read shit into it (something have NO GREATER MEANING They are what They are and thats all They are) to find a deeper meaning or intellectually analyze it to the umpteenth degree?!

    

I believe as of now that the Point of this particular saying is You don’t have to Write a fucking Novel, or fucking Shakespearian Sonnet or a Super BlockBuster Screen Play on a Daily basis just because You’re a Writer. Basically don’t Pressure Yourself as Pressure Crushes Creativity.

Thats why I could never write for a Magazine or Newspaper (online or otherwise) because the Dead Lines would inevitably destroy the quality of My work, and more than likely My Health and Remaining Sanity as well.

Getting back to the Point that You don’t have to be Shackled to Premeditated Creative Ideas/Concepts (Large or Longterm Writing Projects) A Writer can just Write for the shear sake of Writing and the Enjoyment of doing so.

   

It also helps fight Procrastination since the number one cause of Creative Procrastination is Not having a /any Creative Subject Matter to work with. If You don’t have proper tools it makes Building something  not Impossible Yet it DOES make it Insanely fucking Harder as well as MUCH MORE Time/Soul Crushing for the Artist/Writer (I thinks its fucking Stupid that People “And Or” Writers and Artists. Writers are Artists and Artists can Tell Stories Through The Visual Art Mediums. They’re the SAME.)

I found this New view of the cliche saying “A Writer Writs” to no longer being a constrictive load of crap, and now found it quite Freeing. The idea of Writing again without the bullshit Drama like Deadlines, Writers Block, Assorted Outside Pressures, Continuing Creative Concerns, and all the other annoying/troubling  Hullababullshit.

   

So here’s the Deal I will be writing a Complete Story 1 Page a Day for the following Year. I have NO IDEA what it will be about or how it may or may not Evolve over the Span of a Year BUT, that’s the fucking Point isn’t it.  I’m just going to sit down, and start writing with NO FORETHOUGHT WHATSOEVER . The Literary equivalent to Throwing Paint at a Blank Canvas with Your Eyes Shut.

I will Start this Little Acid Test Tomorrow Wednesday March 27th 2019 as it is 2:23am as I’m writing this.

Thanks for Reading,

  Les Sober

Eleanor Rigby One of The Lonely People

I’ll be honest I never understood the appeal of The Beatles and most likely never will. More than likely its just a Generational Difference I would imagine.

Now DO NOT GET ME WRONG though I do not understand nor like The Beatles DOES NOT NIGATE the fact that to Their credit The Beatles were Extremely Talented Musicians who’s Music made them Rich and Internationally Famous. Not only that but Their Music and Musical Accomplishments still hold significant relevance to this very Day.

There is in fact ONLY ONE SINGULAR Beatles song that I do like (well sort of, I’ll explain that later in the post) and that would be Their song “Eleanor Rigby”, and as for the rest of Their Catalog I couldn’t possibly care less.

   

The funny thing is way, way back in the Day I took an intensive 8 week English Literature Class when I was Temporarily a Collage Student. On the first day of the Class the Professor handed out the Lyrics for The Beatles’s song “Eleanor Rigby”, asked Us to simply Read it, and then write Our Thoughts/Impressions Down.

I found it a rather interesting Exorcise. YES this an exact Recreation of that exact Exorcise. And NO it’s not Identical since I lost the Original Paper long, long ago.

Several Months after the Class ended I was fucking around checking out Bands I’d never heard of in an attempt to find the last real Musicians (that is if They even still exist).

   

I noticed one of the New Bands on My Musical Radar had Recorded a Cover of “Eleanor Rigby” so I figured I’d listen to it since I had never ACTUALLY heard the Song. I hit play, listened to the entire song, and rather liked it.

Weeks or possibly Months after listening to the Cover thought it would make sense to listen to The ORIGINAL Beatles Version of “Eleanor Rigby” which I promptly did. After I listen to the entire song thought it was quite amusing that while I disliked the Original I enjoyed the Cover of It.

   

I have found out through the Years that there a PLENTY of additional songs that I despise , BUT for some unknown reason (at least to Me) I really get a kick out of Certain COVERS of said song. It’s sort of a Thing I’ve come to understand since meeting and talking to People who have the same similar affinity for the Covers over the Original songs.  Anyways I digress.

“Eleanor Rigby”  By The Beatles

Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely peopleEleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for?
     
Eleanor picking up the Rice after a Wedding is symbolic of Her chronic Loneliness. Weddings are one of if Not the most Happiest Events of a Person’s Life (Possibly only second to the Birth of a Child. At least that’s what the fuck People with Kids Claim as Those without Kids may feel completely different about it.), Yet Eleanor isn’t a Wedding Guest or Member of The Wedding Party. Eleanor seems to pick up the Rice while Day Dreaming about what it must be like to be that Loved.
The Listener then learns that Eleanor is so lonely that she literally waits chronically looking out the Window for any Visitor at all as Eleanor doesn’t have Friends, Family or even Acquaintances who would stop by say Hello and see how She is.
The “Face in a Jar” is a rather dated social reference as its a play on the saying “I have to put My face on…” which is a rather Old School phrase that Women used to express/indicate She isn’t wearing Makeup thus She is Unprepared for Company.
Lastly Eleanor’s loneliness is confirmed with the question “Who is it For?” as though Eleanor remains poised and ready for Company there isn’t Anyone coming to pay Her a visit.
All the lonely people

Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Here the Song Writer is making an inquiry through question. Either They are curious as too Who are all these so called “Lonely People” They have/are Observing. It also could be more of a depressing lament questioning more over as to Why are there “Lonely People” period.

Father McKenzie writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear
No one comes near
Look at him working, darning his socks in the night when there’s nobody there
What does he care?

Father McKenzi apparently a lone Priest in a Parish without Petitioners, and what is a Church without a congregation? And if the Church remains vacant why would Father McKenzi bother putting in the Time and Effort  writing an entire presumably Sunday Sermon if there’s No One to Hear it as apparently “No One Comes Near”?

It’s the same reason Father McKenzi would take the time to sew the holes in his socks when he is the only Person in the Church. He’s lonely and needs to fill his day with things outside of  the Human Contact he is lacking to keep sane, and to keep from falling into a crippling depression. The Sermon(s) and Socks are both ways Father McKenzi combats the overwhelming Alienation he faces on a Daily basis.

   

This is the significant difference between Father McKenzi and Eleanor Rigby. Father McKenzi finds some solace in his daily activities be it in writing Sermons or performing routine mundane tasks at least he is being some what pro active to dealing with His loneliness. Meanwhile Eleanor opts to sit solely focusing on if Someone will or won’t being stopping by to see Her.

(I have removed The Chorus Here as I have NOTHING Else to Say that I haven’t already pertaining to “All the lonely people…”)

Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
Father McKenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave
No one was saved

     

Eleanor dies with nothing to show for her life, but her name. And just as in Life No One Comes to visit Eleanor in Death as not a single Person attended her funeral. Eleanor literally died alone.

Father McKenzi not only presided over Eleanor’s funeral, but the fact he is wiping dirt from his hands as he’s walking away from Eleanor’s grave implies Father McKenzi also Dug the Grave himself. So in the End Eleanor didn’t even have a Grave Digger to give a shit about Her or Her passing.

The irony is that Eleanor Rigby and Father McKezi lived in the same area and yet never met. That to Me is the most  tragic of all. If the Two Sad Souls had had the chance to meet they would have been the Cure for each Others Loneliness, and Improved the Quality of both Their Lives.

   

I believe that is what the song Writer is ultimately trying to convey in Eleanor who spent her Life craving Human Contact dies alone, and in the end is buried by the equally Lonely Father McKenzi.

(I cut the song Off before the Last Chorus as I stated earlier  I  NOTHING NEW to Write about it.)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober