June 2019 – f-your blog

My Inner Child Might Be A Sociopath (Cartoons That Aren’t For Kids Debut)

I was contemplating the Psychological Concept of an Inner Child Today sitting on My front Porch. The Concept that there lies in All of Us a Part of Our Being that like Peter Pan never Grows Old. This Inner Child is the Part of Us all that Lingers in Eternal Arrested Development regardless of the Physical Aging of Ones Body and Mind.

If I do in Fact have an Inner Child lurking around inside Me somewhere I bet He’s an Odd Little Fellow. I image He’d be rather Introverted and Secretive. Quietly Creating His own Personal form of Chaos.

So if My Inner Child exists and is Paying Attention this Post is for You Little Buddy. Enjoy it and Never Change.

(THIS IS A WARNING & REMINDER TO OUR READERS: NOTHING POSTED ON FYB IS MENT OR INTENDED TO BE VIEWED BY CHILDREN. If You Let Your Child/Children (or Anyones Child/Children for that matter) have Access to FYB You’d be considered a Pretty Shitty Parent by Everyone else I Assure You.)

The First CARTOON is called THE SAD MAN by Jake Lava.

Be Careful What You Wish For………

The Second CARTOON is called WHOSE HUNGRY? By David Ochs.

A Dose Of Revenge Infused Poetic Justice………

Thanks for Reading/Watching,

Presented By,

Les Sober

Misinformation Clarification: Chinese Water Torture

Misinformation Clarification of/for Chinese Water Torture.

The “Traditional”portrayal of the so called Chinese Water Torture We have all seen in countless Movies and Television shows, and have been told is the Chinese Water Torture IS COMPLETELY WRONG.

Typically the Chinese Water Torture is shown as Restraining a Person upright in a Chair (or on Their back laying on a Table) with a Slow Drip of Water lands drop after drop onto the Victim’s forehead.

Over time the Annoying Drops evolve to become Horrifically Painful. This is due to the repetition of the Water Drops hitting the east same spot repeatedly over hours to days.

It’s just like if Some asshole Punched You Over and Over again in the Arm, and in the Same fucking Spot Each Time. Soon each Blow would feel Increasingly More Painful with Each and Every Punch subsequent Punch.

True this in fact would more than likely Work, But there is NO PROOF of such a Torture through out History. More than Not the Chinese Water Torture We are familiar with was a Miscommunication that was then Perpetuated by The Entertainment Industry.

THE REAL AND ACTUAL CHINESE WATER TORTURE IS AS FOLLOWS:

First You restrain the Victim and then You force said Victim to Drink as much water as They Physically can without Vomiting. Once the Victim can No longer Swallow another Sip He/She are thrown down onto the Floor where They are Repeatedly, and Brutally kicked. The Victim continues to be kicked until the Victim’s Stomach Explodes like an Over Inflated Balloon. And lastly the Victim lingers a while in a prolonged and far more painful Death.

Well That Concludes Todays History Lesson Hope You found it Informative.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

Questions That Allude Answers 2 : I Feel Fantastic

A little while back I said FYB would be running a Series of Posts dedicated to Shit that Has Not/Can Not be Explained or is just a Plain Old Mystery. From the Geeky to The Freaky to The Creepy We’re going to attempt to cover IT ALL.

This is a Step towards the Darker Side, and Yes I remember I said We’d EASE Reader’s into It as Not to Traumatize Anyone.

With that said I must Admit I jumped ahead of “Schedule” if You Will. I had already planned on the Next Post in the Series, BUT I couldn’t Help shelving it for Now in Favor of Some MUCH More Bizarre Content.

This is All I could find pertaining to The Video “I Feel Fantastic”(2009). It was posted Anonymously and garnered a great deal of Attention. So much that Viewers launched Their own Investigations in Search of Answers.

They discovered the Video was done and Posted by an Artist named Bergeron who it was rumored was Creating theseVarious Life Sized Robots as Part of a Traveling Show. Then all of a Sudden out of the Blue Bergeron went completely Silent, and No One knows what happened to Him to this very Day.

The Most Sinister Hypothesis surrounding this Video is it’s a Tribute or Homage to an ACTUAL MURDER. The Hypothesis is The Robot is Portraying the part or on Behalf of the Deceased Victim, and the random and out of place Shot of the Woods has led some to Believe it’s an ACTUAL Burial Site.

Please Watch, Enjoy, and Draw Your OWN Conclusions.

So without further ado Ladies & Gentlemen We Give You “I Feel Fantastic”

Thanks For Reading & Watching,

Presented By,

Les Sober

GRISHJARTA: a Bibliophile’s Dream

First Off if You haven’tChecked Out Our post on Silencer or Nattramn You may well want too. Of course thats completely up to You, But it would help Explain this Post.

These ARE ACTUAL PHOTOS of THE REAL NATTRAMN. They are featured in Grishjarta (Pig’s Heart) His Book of Poetry, Illustrations, and Photos.

There are 3 total Editions of Nattramn’s Grishjarta in total the 3rd being Titled the “Final Edition”

As Usual Nattramn insures that NO MATTER WHAT His Face is Obscured/Hidden be it by a Mask, Makeup or simply His Hair.

Here are a Small Sampling of Illustrations from Grishjarta:

The Pictures Below Showcase that EACH COPY of Grishjarta is HAND NUMBERED and SIGNED by Nattramn Himself:

Here is some Quite Scarce Merchandise:

(Note To Reader: The Glass Vile (in the Top Right Picture) is Blood. The Vile of what is most likely in fact Nattramn’s Blood was included along with Grishjarta.)

This a HAL Post pertaining to Grishjarta below.

“After the musical projects Silencer and Diagnose: Lebensgefahr (Diagnosis: Mortal Danger), Nattramn herby takes art into a new direction by releasing his first book.

With the allegorical* title “Grishjarta” or “Pig’s Heart”, this book will grant you an opportunity to step inside the doggerwork of the mind of Nattramn. Read all written material since the last fifteen years and dive into the depths of the recent material. Subjects drifts from life as a prisoner of your mind- to what true freedom ultimately is and what living life as a non-human truly means. A pungent odor of decomposing corpses is always close at hand in order to remind you of what, and who you really are.

Nattramn writes in a variety of emotions, moods, and altered mental states- from intense manic fire to cold apathetic dark waters, liberating and yet deeply depressive and with a never-ending urge to “turn it all off”.

Read this book as pure poetry or use it for what it is truly intended for:

A guideline to reject the human being –

invoke the animal and reach the level beyond human!”

(The Allegory of Nattramn’s Fascination with Pig’s is due to the Scientific Fact that a Pig’s Heart is the closest to a Human Heart. Take a minute and ponder on that. We’ll wait.)

As further Proof of this Hypothesis pertaining to Pigs/Pig Hearts in relation to Humans/Humanity I’m including Pictures from Nattramn’s Musical Project Diagnose: Lebensgefahr which translates roughly from German as Diagnosis: Mortal Danger.

Well Thats All For My Latest Update As I Hunt Relentlessly To Obtain a Copy of GRISHJARTA.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

BONUS MATERIAL!

This is One of The Oddest Poems from Nattramn in His Book Grishjarta:

Numeric Circle

333

Not Totally Off The Record

Well it’s been a Year and a fucking Half and,I still have a few Medical Bills I have to get sorted out which is No Big Deal really it just takes some time. As I said before TIME TAKES TIME.

So Monday Night I went to My Local Bar to meet up with My Brother, SpaceDog, and some Mutual Friends for a couple of Drinks. Once We all had arrived We ordered a Couple of Pitchers of Beer and started to Shoot the Shit and Blow off some Steam.

Unbeknownst to Me My Brother had made up His mind to Record Me (Using His fucking Cell Phone at that) when He thinks I’m saying something with Some Sort of fucking Value. What that May or May Not be is left up to His discretion.

I can’t be Mad about it in the Least. I constantly tell Myself I should utilize Voice Memos on My Phone to Record ideas as I go on through out My Day. I’m not always near My Laptop (I’m not one of those Assclowns that walk around all fucking Day with Their Laptop tucked under tTheir Arm or in some shitty bag slung over Their shitty shoulder.).

Also there is NEVER a fucking Pen and Paper when You Need it, but thats alright I end up writing shit down on whatever is handy and then promptly loose Them. Cell Phones aren’t always Sufficient and can be Temperamental twats.

So really He’s doing it on My Behalf. This is a Excerpt from what He recorded That Evening. NOTHING has been Added, Deleted, or Embellished. I like this recording because it showcases both sides of My Personality. On one Hand You have the Decent Guy with a Big Heart. On the Other Hand there’s the Sarcastic, Pessimistic, Shit Talking, Opinionated, Rude, Brutally Honest, Anti-Authority, and Offensive Foul Mouthed Asshole.

“You, I feel bad ok there two Schools of Thought. You feel bad because I’m not a complete asshole so I feel bad for the Debt Collector because I am aware of what Their day is like dealing with People like Me when I’m acting like Me.

So thats why like I get really fucking indignant when I don’t duck Your phone calls, I’m not procrastinating, I’m not bullshiting, I’m not wasting your time in fact I’m calling you so all I’m saying is I expect you to be cooler because I’m basically walking up to You and going Hey here’s a free present. I’m not going to yell and curse at you. I’m actually calling you because I want to find out how I can pay the bill or a payment method to do so.

What more can a fucking Creditor want?! I mean fucking seriously, fucking seriously. It should should be Their wet Dream. Even this Lady today was great towards the end and shit We were joking these People do have a sense of humor. They really fucking do. They will admit what Their job is asking of You absolutely fucking ridiculous because They Themselves could not fucking do it, and They work for these people.

It was all good like I was confused, but that’s from talking to the other people so a that point I had a limited capacity. Um… I was kind of thinking about what My Wife was saying. Admittedly there is some diminished mental capacity at that point, so that’s all I’m going to say thats My only statement. Um… but like right after We got to joking and like everything was under control as far as I’m fucking concerned things were going great at that point.

I’m like I’m exhausted, I barely know what the fuck is going on, but I got this Lady laughing I haven’t told Her to go fuck her own face this is going great. And yes I understand there is another second bill…Oh Shit.

+At this point I was unaware of where I was waving My hands and knocked over My Freshly made Rum & Coke+

That’s a dead solider right there, but My point is I dressed that with Her so not only have We taken care of 1 account plus what I had already paid the Doctor’s office before I called Her, and We addressed the 3rd account so we should be fine. Like I said everything is going great. I told Her I had to talk to a particular person to acquire the cash to pay off the 3rd account in full in just one singular fucking payment. Pretty goddamn reasonable if you ask Me for someone who’s being contacted by a fucking Collection Agency.

And like I said I realize it’s Her job dude but it’s the quickest way to get Me to FUCKING HATE YOU. It’s like all bets are off I was playing nice, and self justification that if They aren’t playing nice then I DON’T HAVE TO PLAY NICE. This happened when She jumped Me like an parasitic asshole and was like “Oh Well When will You be Talking to That Person? Do you know how much money you can get from this person? Can you get all of the Money from this person? When do you think you can get some money from that person? When can you get all of the money from that person?

So I’m like OH YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK because thats just fucking ridiculous. I just fucking did your job and made your day a whole lot easier by one phone call You can go tell Your Boss You settled an account, They paid this initially today, We got a split payment plan for the rest, and I told Him about the 2nd outstanding account He told Me Blah Blah Blah He’s going to make some calls or whatever.

I’m sorry but as far as I’m concerned thats a fucking Win-Win for fucking both of Us. So I just like I know it’s part of Her job, but like You still as a person She has free will so She didn’t actually have to say that.

And if someone had come to Her and been like “Margret You Didn’t ask THE QUESTIONS?!” or whatever the fuck Her name was She could have been like “HEY in all due favor LOOK Payment, Set Up Payment, and addressed payment So You can’t really be mad at Me.” because basically She did her job Great. I got money, I set up getting more money, and Addressed the 3rd Money What do You want from Me so what if I went off script or some shit?!

It wouldn’t mean shit to anybody as long as She collected some fucking cash or a Commitment (AKA a Payment Plan) for Payment because lets face it thats all They give a flying fuck about is the Money. So She literally in all actuality even though I am saying it’s Her job I’m making excuses for Her because I don’t think She had to do that. Why become an asshole at the end of a successful phone call?! What fucking purpose could that serve?!

When She did that there was a feeling like Oh Ok now You’re going to slap Me in the fucking face? We just went thorough all this bullshit, We came to a resolution, We’re all Happy and We’re going to shake hands and instead of shaking My hand You’re going to just slap Me in the Face. And then start drilling Me like some insane interrogation Which by the way I’d have to be fucking Psychic to have any sort of answer about future fucking payment.

I have no idea when or where I will speak with someone it’s not fucking like “Oh sure I’ll be having Lunch with them in 3 weeks on the 24th at 12:33pm at The Greasy Spoon Diner. I will have a Cheese burger and They will have the Soup of the fucking Day. They will be impeccably dressed as usual. GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK YOU UNREALISTIC ASSHOLE(S).!”

That is were that particular recording was abruptly ended by My Brother.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

Returning to Man the Keyboard

As Our Reader are readily aware at this point We have a tendency to how do You say Fall off the Face of the fucking Earth. For this Inconvenience We Wholeheartedly Apologize, and We will attempt to keep the Sporadic Disappearances to a Bare Minimum.

So if You possibly find Yourself pondering what exactly it is/was that We were up too while We were wondering in the Void I’ll tell You, well I’ll give You the Pertinent Points as there’s No Point in Me writing a bunch of Unnecessary shit, and You reading it.

I’m aware most if not All of Our Reader’s more than likely don’t give a shit, and would be happy if We just Stayed Put. You’ll have to Pardon Me then as My Mother raised Me with Manners. Manners are truly a thing of the Past as Manners DIED right after Chivalry.

Now its a bunch of Self Serving, Self Absorbed, and Self Centered Social Media assholes Who desperately want to become the next Big Social Media No Talent Scumbag Hack or a greedy Youtuber twat who only cares about Monetizing Their fucking crappy Channel.

It’s all the same stupid shit. It’s the “Look at Me! Look At Me! I’m so interesting, I’m too talented, I’m God’s gift to fucking Humanity.” mentality. Take FaceBook for instance where assholes post constantly all fucking day long about:

Where They are (NO ONE GIVES A FUCK YOUR AT WALMART ASSHOLES)

What They Ate (ITS FUCKING FOOD NO BIG WHOOP)

Who They Saw or Did shit with (WHO CARES I DON’T KNOW THOSE SAD SACKS OF SHIT.)

What They’re Doing (SO FUCKING WHAT WE ALL HAVE SHIT TO DO.)

What Mood/Relationship Status is (I DON”T GIVE A FUCK WHO YOU FUCK OR HOW YOU FEEL BECAUSE YOUR A FUCKING FACELESS FAKE AS FUCK FB “FRIEND”)

Anyway I digress.

The First thing I for One was dealing with was I got into a Dispute meets Debate. Then when I became Irritated I was convinced a Thought I had had previously was In Fact absolutely right. I still believe this. As for what the fuck is the Reality of the Situation I believe (after conferring with My Wife) that it squarely falls on My Brother. My Brother You see is really shit at making Decisions as He spends most of His time Precariously Perched on the Fence unwilling to set Foot on either Side.

I had initially thought My Brother’s Wife was playing a much larger part in the matter than She actually was/is. Though to be utterly honest I did spend a good deal of time trying to Demonize the shit out of Her for it. So be it.

I also had the distinct displeasure of seeing My Cardiologist for a 6 month check in to see if I’m Alive and Still Kicking essentially. There was a fucking Medical Student who for this particular appointment was part of the Package. NOW YOU CAN simply tell said Student or the Doctor that You don’t want the fucking Student to sit in on YOUR Appointment with YOUR DOCTOR.

I know They have to fucking learn, but I view these Shadowing Exercises to be GLORIFIED FIELD TRIPS for Medical Students. I don’t want a complete fucking Stranger sitting in the fucking corner during My Appointment. I know this isn’t the popular PC answer that’s because its the fucking TRUTH.

The Student DOESN’T NEED TO BE PART OF THE APPOINTMENT because I’m talking to My Doctor about sensitive Personal Health History, Current Situation, and Future Treatment Plans such as Various Medications or Diagnostic Tests or perhaps Surgery. Your relationship with Your Doctor is fucking PRIVATE thats why Medical Records are LEGAL DOCUMENTS, and We have a little thing called DOCTOR-PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY.

But I’ll Digress for Now.

The Biggest Challenge over the Last Week was the Shit Weather. A massive motherfucker of a Storm front came rolling through Our neck of the Woods. It was Overcast and Rainy along with Blustering Winds and Severe Thunderstorms. So needless to say Our Internet Connection Capabilities/ Service was Virtually Non Existent. It’s the One True Disadvantage to Living in the Middle of No-Fucking-Where USA. Hopefully things will Markably Improve Next Month when We switch Our Internet Provider.

The f-yourfilm “Shoot My Face Off, I Like It” (SMFO) Video Game Documentary has already turned into a Labor, No Burden of Love. This Project is not an easy to say the Least. I feel like some sort of fucking Gamer Spy or some insane shit. The Company that made the Game Vanished overnight, and it Removed almost every Scrap of Evidence that the Game ever in fact Existed at All.

To further make things difficult the Japanese Government ended up Outlawing SMFO and Did everything in It’s power to make any and all information pertaining to SMFO miraculously Disappear from Public Record. All Sites and Forums for SMFO along with any News Story or Article (Televised, In Print or Online) or Advertising pertaining to SMFO has apparently been Suppressed to the umpteenth degree.

We may just end up Posting a 6 part SMFO Series on What We have managed to scrape up by the skin of Our Teeth. Since We aren’t at all sure the Documentary will be able to Answer the Vast Majority of the Questions surrounding this Video Game Enigmatic Mystery. We shall See.

For those Who have commented on the LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER series Yes We fucked up and LJPPW faltered in Our goal of Daily Posts/Posting. We were concerned that New Reader’s may become confused or miss something because They might look at the Post List and think its a LJPPW centric Blog. We have had a sit down (by this I mean We sat around Our Favorite Bar and Brainstormed using Alcohol as Fuel for the Process) and here is what We decided.

The first thing We decided to due is Scrape the Failed Daily Post/Posting since its an exercise in Futility, BUT We knew We had to think of something. Quite Obviously the easiest thing to due was Limit the Number or Posts to Every Other Day. This seemed like a similar set up issue wise as the Daily Posting Deal. We certainly didn’t want to fuck up again so We kept Thinking and Drinking.

Someone suggested perhaps making just 2 LJPPW Posts a Week One on Monday at the start of the Week, and One on Friday at the End of the week as well. This was Not at all a bad idea yet it seemed to be lacking something key. In the End We agreed LJPPW feels like a Sunday Comic like Dick Tracy and Tarzan from The Past in Print. Thats to say its an ongoing Story but like with Sunday Comic or Television Shows its contained to a single Episode Per Week. That Episode will be Posted every SUNDAY starting with this Coming One (6/30)

Thats All We got for Now So Stick With US and See Were It Goes.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

GG Allin: The Profile of a Rock’N Roll Terorist

As Most of Our Readers are aware I am a HUGE GG Allin Fan I mean FYB has done 3 Pictorial Posts (with a 4th in The Works) dedicated to GG Allin and His Musical Career of Infamy.

In Addition to the Pictorials FYB also posted a Copy of GG Allin’s Legendary Song “Bit It You Scum”. I did that because No matter if I’m having one of the Greatest Days in My Life OR One of the Absolutely Shittiest Days of My Life either way if I put on GG’s “Bite It You Scum” it always makes Me Smile.

NOW Do Not get Me wrong I am NOT DEVIATING from My original Statement on the subject of GG Allin. I said I WILL NOT write a Typical or Traditional Bio Post because there’s No Point it’d just be an Exercise in Futility. What I mean to say is simply there isn’t ANYTHING I could write a Biographical Post about GG that isn’t just like all the Other Posts/Articles Out there on Google. Its all been said before so to say it now is just Regurgitating the Same Shit over, and over again.

So to Honor GG Allin and His Music just as FYB as recently done with Shitfucker and Silencer I devised the following Three (3) Video Tribute.

The FIRST video is the 1993 Cult Documentary by then Film Student Todd Phillips (who later went on to make: Old School, Road Trip, The Hangover Trilogy, War Dogs, Borat, and More) called “Hated GG Allin and The Murder Junkies” NOT Hated in the Nation which was the GG Allin Album.

This Documentary follows the Life and Times of GG Allin featuring Concert Footage as well as Interviews with Family Members, Friends, Fanatical Fans, and Fellow Band Mates.

The Second Video is the 2008 Short Film Documentary by Jay McBeth called “Live Fast, Die” which is Quite Different than “Hated”. This Story is the Story of so many GG Fans because like Jay and countless others I discovered GG by complete coincidence. I was at an Indue Record Store poking around the Bins, and I stumbled across a bunch of GG Allin CDs.

This Documentary with a running Time of just 28 minutes and change I believe is the Better of the Two Films. “Live Fast, Die” takes a different approached to the subject of GG in it follows the Curiosity of What made GG Tick or What Made GG Allin who He Was. It’s more about the Man than His outrageous and often Illegal Live Shows or Personal Life like “Hated”.

The Third Video is one of Several Video Versions of GG Allin’s “Bite It you Scum” played Live in Concert since We already Posted the Lyrics w/ Pics.

Enjoy………

ALRIGHT WELL FUCK TODD PHILLIPS. Todd had “Hated GG Allin and The Murder Junkies” posted on Youtube FOR FREE. I know because I watched it like 400 fucking times. ANYWAY Todd apparently now wants $1.99 for the pleasure of Watching His Film that was previously FREE. GRANTED $2 is nothing really, BUT I WILL NOT PAY ON PRINCIPLE.

The Film was Free until Fans started making it More Popular to those outside of the GG Allin Universe, and since Todd has also had time to make Big fucking Hollywood Comedies He now seems to feel He can and will Charge $2. Again for a Film NO ONE FUCKING KNEW OF ACCEPT DIE HARD GG FANS WHO THEN MADE IT MORE POPULAR AND ARE NOW GETTING NICKLE AND DIMED OVER IT.

Fuck Todd Phillips personally in light of this I will say “Hated” is the only decent Film Todd Phillips had made the rest is Over Rated Recycled Hollywood Big Budget Bullshit so Fuck Him.

SO I WILL NOW POST A TRAILER FOR ‘Hated GG Allin and The Murder Junkies” Below instead of the Film since it is No Longer Free.

NOTE: Also I will be Posting an Entire Concert by GG Allin and The Murder Junkies to make up for Todd Phillips being a Greedy Hollywood Cocksucker.

SORRY for the Interruption, We now return You to The Regularly Scheduled Post Currently in Progress Please Enjoy.

OK SEE WHAT I SAID! Todd is REALLY milking this Film for all its fucking Worth. I have NEVER seen this Trailer Before, and The Cover of the Film has been changed from the ORIGINAL cover. All this bullshit because Todd got Hollywood a Hard On, and now with the Anniversary the Greedy Twat is Now Charging $2 to view his Film that agin was PERVIOUSLY POSTED FOR FREE.

And Now Ladies and Genitals Welcome to the Stage The One, The Only, The Rock’n Roll Terrorist GG ALLIN & THE MURDER JUNKIES! Enjoy.

Well I’m still Pissed Off About Toddy Phillips’s Greedy Money Grubbing Student fucking Film. SO I’M Adding a BONUS VIDEO.

The Following Video is a Interview with GG Allin FROM PRISON. Enjoy Kids.

Thanks for Reading & Watching,

Brought to You By Les Sober.

N@P’s Artistic Advancements

N@P is the True Definition of a Renaissance Man with Many an Artistic Poker in Many an Artistic Fire.

I met N@P (as well as His Wonderful Wife) at Collage during an Art Class, and I can say without hesitation They are Not just Far Beyond Talented Artists, But some of The Nicest, Kindest, and Encouraging Individuals I have ever had the Pleasure of Meeting

N@P is like a Cerebral Shark in a Sea of Creativity He never Stops Swimming remaining inconstant Motion at all times. N@P has over come some Truly Amazing shit thats not a statement its a fucking fact. For example if Someone says “Lighting Doesn’t Strike Twice” N@P can call Bullshit since He HAS been Struck by Lighting Twice, and Lived to Tell about it.

No Matter the Hurdle Life that presents in N@P’s Path along the way He Clears it through Sheer Perseverance and Strength of Both Mind and Spirit.

N@P simply can NOT be Deterred.

N@P can Simply NOT be Stopped.

N@P is NOT done.

AND TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FYB HISTORY You the Reader will see what One of Us Here at FYB actually Looks like in Real Life.

Here is a New Youtube Video by N@P who’s God Given Name is in Fact Nicholas (This is another FYB 1st: Using a Real Name of One of Our Friends/Family Member(s) so Surprise Bonus!)

It’s an Incredibly Intelligent and Amazingly Artistic Concept Helping to Provide Art to Those Who Live in Infinite Darkness.

If You enjoy Nicholas’s Video Please Like, Subscribe, and Share.

I know People are sick of hearing the “Like and Subscribe” deal because Youtubers say it every 15 fucking seconds, BUT Nicholas is an AUTHENTIC ARIST, and NOT a wannabe YouTube Star.

Enjoy.

Presented By Les Sober

So My Neighbors Think I’m “Terrifying” Part 2: The Prequel

When We moved Home Offices from the Great Souther Swamp to The Souther Country We still had the task of Selling Our Old Home Offices. This was a HUGE fucking pain in the ass because on top of the usual bullshit We were doing an Out-Of-State Sale. What that Means is that with FYB fully relocated full time We had little fucking control since We were in a completely different State than the Property Itself.

Also in Commercial Realistate You’re not really Dealing with a Buyer. Thats to say rarely especially now a Days for a Buyer to be an Individual looking to start a New or Small Business (aka Mom & Pop Shop Operations/ Family Business). The People You do Deal with in this type of Realistate Transaction are Various Investors. Investors are Natural Born Sons of Bitches & Bastards the Whole fucking Lot of Them.

Investors all Act like They’re some kind of Forbes 500 Mega Business CEO Top 10 List Motherfucker when in Reality very few actually are (Fuck Million Dollar Listing), but They act like The Most important Motherfucker on The Planet. As if They’re a fucking Gift to Humanity from the fucking Realistate Gods on High.

Anyway One Friday Morning I got a Franticly Urgent Text from Our Realtor will call Him Tool for all intensive purposes. Tool’s Text was to inform Me that there was a serious Investor on the Line, and I MUST CONTAT HIM IMMEDIATELY ASAP AS FUCK! WE HAD TILL 5PM TO RESPOND OR THE DEAL WAS DEAD.

This again has everything to do with the fact Investor’s are Self Righteous Fuckwits. Investor’s believing Themselves to be Realtor Royalty or some shit will make an offer be it 8am or 4:430pm, and then demand an Answer by the End of the Day like the Limp Dicks They actually are.

I of course instantly got on My Cell Phone and Texted Tool Back and then sat the fuck back and waited to hear back. I didn’t. So I start Texting Him AND E-mailing Him but again He DOESN’T respond. By 2pm I’m losing My shit since the Deal Dies in 3 hours, and We need time for a quick negotiation if need be so the Clock was seriously running the fuck out fast.

I end up Texting, E-mailing, AND CALLING Tool every 15-20 minutes growing both more Stressed about losing a Possibly really Good Deal, Confused as fuck since I had NO IDEA what was going on with Tool on His end, and Anger because who the fuck sends an URGENT TEXT like that and then Disappears of the face of the fucking Planet?!!

Now lets Fast Forward to 6:00pm were I’m still pacing like a fucking Mental Patient back and forth on the Front Porch attempting to reach Our Realtor tool, and My Wife arrives Home from Work. She can already tell before She even sets foot Outside of Her Car that some insane shit is Occurring.

My Wife comes up on the porch and plops down taking a seat in one of the Rocking Chairs on the Porch. I took a minute to try and comprise Myself so as soon as I opened My Mouth it wouldn’t be “FUCK! SHIT! FUCKING SHIT! MONEY, DEAD DEAL! FUCK REALTORS!!! ARRRRRRRGH!!!” Unfortunately 3 minutes into My explanation of the Days Events come completely Unglued.

The F-Bombs started Falling as if the Military had gone Mad. I yelled at the top of My lungs questioning what kind of asshole texts someone and then Ghosts them, and Raging that the Deal was Dead so We lost a ton of Money, Time, and Effort. I was screaming My insults to the Four Corners of the Earth for all it was worth using My entire Vocabulary of Obscenities, Blasphemies, and Other Looked Down Upon Language.

As far as I was fucking concerned this Rageful Emotional Eruption was well fucking Warranted since it been building up all Day, and had yet to come to it’s Final Conclusion. Summation being: Tool was a Twat.

Now it just so happened that after Living Here for many Months Our so called Neighbors to Our Left finally came over to get Acquainted. You know all that Personal Introduction,Welcome to the Neighborhood, and If You ever need something bullshit. Well I must again remind Our Dear Reader’s that out here in the Southern Country NO ONE Raises their voice in Public more or less Yell at the Top of Their Lungs. And They DEFINITELY DO NOT CURSE OR USE ANY PROFANITY PERIOD (Being used in Public being considered the Worst Offense).

In Addition Our Neighbors are very pleasant People, but Quiet and rather Meek, They’re simply Soft Spoken Law Abiding Church Goers. With that said after Rioting like a Deranged Foul Mouthed Mental Patient for 10-12 minutes I just so happened to glance over into The Neighbor’s backyard. The first Thought to go through My Mind was “Well I think it’s Safe to Say We won’t be Talking To Them Again.”

There They were Our Rental and Kind New Neighbors standing Petrified by what They have just born witness to. The Husband is standing as rigid and Stone Faced as a fucking Buckingham Palace Guard clutching a rake tightly at His side. His Wife was Frozen with a Garbage Bag full of Lawn Debris grasped firmly in Her Left Hand, and a Gloved Hand full of Small Twigs She had been gathering up. Her face was Paralyzed Wide Eyed with Mouth Agape like a Surprised Cartoon Character.

Since then They have slowly warmed up to My Wife, but as for Me They have Never even looked in My direction again to this Day. They Literally keep Their Heads down staring at the fucking Ground, and remain Silent desperately trying to Not Be Noticed Nor Acknowledged. Like Dogs with Their Tails between Their Legs.

IN THE END: Our Realtor called at 6:30pm and explained He had fucking Jury Duty all Day so He couldn’t use His fucking Phone. The only comment I had then was Why the fuck wouldn’t He tell Me that in the Initial Message instead of Driving Me fucking up the Walls all goddamn Day?!

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober