Month: July 2019

It’s really No Secret I’m not exactly what One would call a Neighborly Type of Person I leave that shit to Mr. Rogers He’s the Professional. Now just because I don’t Interact Much at all with My Neighbors DOESN’T mean I’m Not Aware of what’s Going on in My Neighborhood mind You. Surprise I have Eyes and They work Well Enough.

For the First Time thus far I actually am Interested in Something Peculiar, (at least in My Opinion) that has been an On Going Scenario in My Neighborhood. If fact its has become Somewhat of a Preoccupation of Mine. I find Myself frequently wondering What the fuck is Really Going on with the New Neighbors who moved into Our Quit Little Neck of the Woods about a Year or Two Ago (I’m not doing the Math as I hate fucking Math and have the option Not To).

It reminds Me of a Couple of Movies I’ve seen of  the Years, and those are Alford Hitchcock’s “Rear Window” and Secondly The Tom Hanks Comedy “The Burbs”. Some say it is Life imitating Art while Others say it is Art Imitating Life, but No One knows for Sure which way it Goes.

In Hithcock’s “Rear Window” the Main Character is stuck at Home in a Wheel Chair with a Broken Leg. Naturally after a while He gets bored as hell, and picks up some Binoculars. He then started Spying on His Neighbors and with NO Actual Proof convinces Himself The Husband has Murdered His Wife. Inevitably the Spying leads too………I’m not telling You because You should see the Movie, and I’m not going to Give Anything Away.

In the Tom Hank’s Movie New Neighbors move in just a The Main Character taking a week off from Work for a Personal Vacation. The Main Character ironically enlists some of His fellow Neighbors to Help solve the Mystery of The Strange Sounds coming from The Creepy New Neighbors’s Basement Late One Night. What Could This Reclusive Family be Up To? Again I’m Not Telling You because I give it the Same Respect I do Hitchcock’s “Rear Window”, and believe You should in fact see the Movie for Yourself.

It all Started like I said about a Year or So Ago when a Unknot Purchaser Bought an Undeveloped Acre Lot down by where the Road leads in and out of the Neighborhood. Point being is anytime I do shit I drive Past it coming and Going so sue Me I See Shit.

The First Order of Business for The New People/Person because at that point No One Knew Shit because in the Woods People generally Keep to Themselves and this They Know. Anyway Whoever it was Bulldozed the entire Lot which Once was Woods into an Acre of Dirt. I know thats how it’s done a lot of the time, but that not My Point for that You’ll have to Read On.

They then left that Attractive Acre of Dirt standing Vacant for 4-5 Months which was Annoying to look at. Finally 2 Work Men arrived and Poured the Foundation which covered a total of 900 square feet Total Tops directly in the Middle of the Lot (I’m talking Dead goddamn Center).They then Left to Let the Foundation Dry, and returned about a Week or Two Weeks later.

This time the Two Guys erected the Wood Frame of again what appears to be a Tiny 900 foot Building. The following Day They returned to Slap up Some Aluminum Siding which lead Me to Believe that This Wasn’t going to be Someone’s Home/ House. The Construction and Materials indicated it was a Prefabricated Shed the type used here in the Woods to store Farming/Construction Equipment.

Once the Structure was Finished it was Move Puzzling than ever. The Tiny Structure Has a 2 Car Garage on One End and Enough Square Footage left Over for say a SMALL one Room Studio Apartment. The Apartment Scenario became Apparent when the Front Door Identical to Any Stereotypical American Home was Installed.

The Space could have in fact also be used as an Office as there a Lot of Very Small Businesses, and Side Jobs here in the Woods still. So it wouldn’t at all be out of the Realm of Reason that this Structure was to be used as a Small Mechanic Shop or something Similar. Yet if it was a Mechanic Shop Scenario why the Traditional Home Style Front Door, and what looked to be a Car Port at the Opposite End from the Garage?!

Things Only become more Curious as they became Confusing. All of a Sudden there were 5-7 Large Pick Up Trucks, and about 7-10 People there Daily. They appeared to be Construction Workers/Contractors. They would Show Up and either go inside or hang about out front by the Trucks. The Weird thing was there was still No Landscaping, there was NOTHING be Done to the Grounds, These Guys were focused on the ISIDE of the Building ONLY.

The Question at hand was Why the hell are all These Construction Guys showing Up since its a Small 900 ft Prefabricated Shed? What the fuck were They all doing Inside that Required All Those Construction Contractor Types?!  I mean the ENTIRE Building/Shed was put up by ONLY 2 GUYS in a matter of Hours with No Trouble at All.

Next They Drilled a Well which is Not really Note Worthy. You see We all Have Well Water since We live in the Woods where there is Little Infrastructure. That and Even Mechanics have to Wash Their Hands and Use the Restroom as well as for Cleaning Purposes I suppose.

What come Next was a Bit Unusual. They installed a Propane Tank which again NORMALLY wouldn’t mean dick out Here ACCEPT they installed a Propane tank that Could Fuel a 4,500 plus Square Foot Building. Seems extremely excessive You ask Me.

These Contractor Crew for lack of a Better Word worked 5-6 days a week for 4 months straight without Interruption. As Time Passed They brought in a Slew of Construction Equipment a Back Ho, a Small Steam Roller, Couple of Various BotCats, Bulldozer, and Trailers for Transporting Them. The weird thing is though The Machines NEVER LEAVE THE PROPERTY. They get moved around the Property, but Never actually Leave it. That would Rule Out a Small Construction Business or Equipment Rental Type Situation.

At this Time They Workers hooked up Electricity that was then used to Power Several external Halogen Lights which lit Up the Entire Acre Lot like a fucking Air Port Runway.  Anyways after about 4 Months the Workmen all stopped Coming, and there was a Large White Pick parked in the make shift Driveway every Night as if Someone was in fact living there.

After a Holding Period the Owner’s walled in the Car Port and Incorporated it into the Small Space off the Garage as if to Add Square Footage to the What now was now Apparently was an Actual Living Space. The after that the Next development was the Installation of an Extensive Underground  Ground Sprinkler System through out a Majority of the Lot, and to this Day it’s Only been used Twice. The Story doesn’t End there though things Quieted down at the Shady Shed on the Dirt Lot at least for Awhile that is.

Recently in the last 2 Months The Owners of Said Property have Purchased 2 Additional (Side By Side) Acre Lots that Bordered the back of Their Property Line. Staying True to Form the First fucking thing They Did was Cut Down EVERYTHING. This Time around though there were a Small Number of Trees Left Standing because Obviously before the could start Developing the Newly Purchased Lots/Land a Forrester had come through, and Marked the Trees that for One Reason or Another Prevented the Owners from Leveling.

The Odd thing is just like with the Clearing of the Initial Lot it seemed to have been done by Elves or Aliens. What I mean was there is a GREAT Deal of Noise and Commotion in such a Venture, BUT No One ACTUALLY witness a Single Tree being Cut Down. It’s as if It AlL Happens in the Blink of an Eye without making a Single Sound.No One saw Clearing Crews, Lumber Jacks, Foreman, Supervisors, Surveyors, Chain Saws, Wood Chippers (to dispose of Small Trees, Tree Limbs, and Various Under Brush) or The MASSIVE HEAVY Machinery used in these Type of Operations which Now Utilize Machines over Man.

The Owners then Had the Fallen Trees Stacked in a HUGE and rather Sloppy Pile, and proceeded to set it on Fire like Their own Personal Burning Man or some Hippy Dippy Artsy Fartsy Bullshit. Burning Yard/Forrest debris is Totally Legal, BUT People Burn Piles of Leaves and Twigs NOT A HUMUNGOUS PILE OF WHOLE FUCKING TREES.

They Cut, Stacked and Burned at 2 separate Clearings They created to Work within, and AGAIN Outside of the Spared Trees there was NOTHING LEFT BUT DIRT. And just like with the Initial Lot The Owners aren’t doing ANYTHING ELSE to Develop the Property or It’s Esthetics. It really does look like these Odd Assholes are Building a True Life fucking DIRT FARM.

As You can Imagine while all this Happy Horseshit was and Currently still is going on Plenty of People have come up with Explanations and Hypothesis of Their Own. Here are Some Examples:

1. The Owners are DoomsDay Preppers.
2. They Built an Underground Meth Lab.
3. It’s an Illegal (in this State Currently) Marijuana Grow House.
4. It’s some Unknown Military Operation or Outpost.
5. They are Conducting Shady Scientific Experiments in an Underground Lab.
6. They’re a Militia or Cult who are Stock Piling Guns and Ammo.
7. They Build a Underground Torture Dungeon or a Kill/Murder Room.
8. They are Shooting Dark Web Shit There like a Red Room Situation.
9. They are Eco Terrorists Establishing a Secret Safe House of Sorts.
10. The Owner Built an Underground Bunker to Store Something Mysterious.
11. It’s a Training Ground/ Facility for The Military or Extremist Group.
12. The Military is Interrogating Captured Terrorists and POWS there in Secret.
13. The Are constructing an Underground Tunnel System for Something.
14. They are creating Their own Catacombs.
15. It’s Part of the Witness Protection Program like a Safe House.
16. They are Housing Illegal Exotic Animals There in a Underground Warehouse.
17. It’s a Top Secret Facility where the Government is Running an Illegal Cloning Program.
18. It’s a Secret Lab for Unspecified Genetic Testing.
19. They are Developing an Underground Bio Dome incase of a Nuclear War or Large Scale Chemical Attack Scenario.
20. They are Aliens or Alien-Human Hybrids and this is a Transmitting Hub that They have Established to Communicate with One Another.

Well all I can do is Wait, Watch, See what I see, and Try to Figure Out What They’re doing in My Neck of The Pines.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober