Month: October 2019

FYB’s Hellish Halloween Movie: Drive In Massacre

Welcome to FYB’s Hellish Halloween Presentation of the Cult Slasher Movie Classic DRIVE IN MASSACRE!!!

What Happens when in Little Town USA when a PHANTOM SERIAL KILLER descends upon the Local Drive In Hellbent on Turning it into a GRAVEYARD! After a GRISLY MURDER the CARNAGE Continues into a Full Blown BLOODBATH as the DEAD BODIES Start Piling Up. Can Dedicated Detectives Mike Leary and John Koch Uncover the Phantom Killer’s real Identity and Stop the Slaughter before it turns into a DRIVE IN MASSACRE?

Hope You Enjoyed Tonight’s Slasher Cinema, and Happy Halloween from Us here at f-yourblog.com!

  Presented By Les Sober

The Repugnant Return of GWAR to FYB with Phallus in Wonderland

GWAR the Scumdog’s of the Universe  are Back and Wreaking Havoc like Never Before in PHALLUS IN WONDERLAND!!!

Phallus In Wonderland is Thrash Metal Punk Rock Band Gwar’s First Attempt in a Commercially Released Long Form Film. The Video was Nominated for a GRAMMY in 1993, but Lost to Annie Lennox of all fucking People. I mean how the fuck does GWAR even End Up in the Same Category as Annie Lennox in the First fucking Place Anyhow?!

Phallus In Wonderland is the Story of Gwar’s Battle Against The Morality Squad, after the Theft of Lead Singer Oderous Urungus’s “Cuttlefish of Cthulhu” which is Oderous’s Pet Name for His Penis. Gwar is summonsed to New York City for a Commercial Shoot for Gwar Serial a Cornflake-like Food sprinkled with Cocaine in place of Sugar.

        

The Morality Squad’s Religious Representative Father Bohab is preparing to Lauch an Attack on Gwar is Convicted of Molesting a 12 year Old Choir Boy. The Shocked Morality Squad believe Bohab was Framed by Gwar and Their Unscrupulous Manager Sleazy P. Martini. Bob is ultimately released and Lead a Morality Squad Protest Picketing Gwar. That is Until Gwar along with Sleazy BRUTALLY ATTACK the Crowd, resulting in Bohab being DISEMBOWELED .

       

Gwar then Travel to a Nightclub where the indulge in MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF COCAINE. The following Morning The Cuttlefish of Cthulhu reunites with Oderous after Escaping form the Grasp of The Morality Squad, and Warns Gwar of The Morality Squads Imminent Attack. Once the Fight is Over Gwar emerges Victorious having Beaten the Morality Squad. For-Gor (a Giant T-Rex) is Born, and toys to Destroy the World. Gwar must Battle Gor-Gor who is inevitably Killed at the hands of Gwar. The Cuttlefish of Cthulhu ends up Happily Reunited with Its Owner Oderous Urungus.

We Hope You Enjoyed This Little Piece Of Murderous Mayhem As Much As We Did.

Thanks for Watching,

  Presented By Les Sober

Facebook is F*cked and Zuckerberg is a Racist Scumbag

Let’s get one fact straight right from the get go. Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg  AND Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey  are BOTH Trump Supporter Scum of the Earth. They’re spineless greed driven GOP Social Media Propaganda Puppets. The only fucking reason NEITHER CEO asshole has (and Never would) discloser Their Personal Political Views because the greedy sons of bitches don’t want to loose Users, and lets fucking face it thats just a nice way of saying MONEY.

If either asshole came out Pro Trump they’d lose a shit ton of Users and subsequently a literal shit ton of Money, BUT if They came out Anti Trump the exact same thing would happen. Though in Todays Chaotic Environment it’s very easy to Tell Who Zuckerberg and Dorsey Support through Their Shady and Hypocritical Actions and Claims.

       

A little over Two Weeks ago Zuckerberg informed the American Public that He/Facebook WOULDN’T DO A GODDAMN THING to Stop Politicians on Facebook Who Spew and Promote Fake News, Disinformation, and All Out Lies. It’s painfully obvious this is to Aid Trump the Obese Orange Asshole to commit MORE FRAUD, CRIMES, AND TREASON just like in 2016.

The Democrats to Their Credit DIDN’T Run a Massive Smear Campaign, Employ Bots to do Their Bidding, Hire Russian Hackers, Collude with Russian Dictator Vladimiro Putin, Spread Fake News, Spew Propaganda and disproved/unfounded conspiracy theories, engage in Voter Suppression Tactics, Purposely spread Misinformation, Use Racism as a Promotional Tool, and They Didn’t COMIT FUCKING TREASON.

       

Meanwhile Facebook is BY FAR the Largest Social Media Platform for Racist Hate Groups. You want to find the Flu Klux Klan, White Nationalists, Neo Nazis, Proud Boys,  all You have to do is simply Log onto Facebook where there’s plenty of White Supremacy Hatred to go Around. Again Zuckerberg has DONE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to Stop or Shut Down these Racist Hate Groups Facebook Pages. He has been completely Ambivalent about it as if He could care fucking less because the Scumfuck is making a Fortune, and is a fucking Racist piece of Shit Too.

Racist Birds of a Feather Hate Together. So basically Facebook’s Rules of User Use, Conduct, and Rules Don’t Mean a fucking thing. Regular Users get Penalized for Minor infractions while the Racist Hate Groups are allowed to Continue promoting Fear and Hate on a Daily Basis Worldwide on Their Social Media Platform.

            

Then this Week Zuckerfucker was CAUGHT LYING IN HIS GOVERNMENT TESTIMONY pertaining to Facebook hiring The Daily Caller as Fact Checkers.For Those Who may Not know The Daily Caller is a Major Well Documented Racist Organization.  Zuckerberg played the “I Run a Huge Global Company so I’m too busy to know Everything that Goes On” Card. After His Testimony the TRUTH came out and the Facts were far fucking Different than Zuckerburg’s bullshit claim.

It turns out Zuckerberg knew EXACTLY What the Daily Caller Organization was, was IN FAVOR of Hiring Them, and was Directly involved in the ENTIRE PROCESS. To Recap Zuckerberg Knowingly hired a Long Time Racist Hate Group as supposedly legitimate Fact Checkers, Yet another move that Aides Trump since Trump Supporters are inherently Ignorant, Uneducated White Trash Racist Scumbags.

       

Then just a Couple of Days ago Zuckerburg Announced Facebooks New Upcoming and I quote “Quality News” Platform. This sounded like more Facebook bullshit that was until it came out that one of the Top “Quality News” Organizations that would be Promoted on Facebook’s New News Platform was None Other than BREIBART. The American Public was introduced to Breibart in 2016 Thanks to Trump Loving Alcoholic Wife Beating White Nationalist Steve Bannon (who in the end apparently not a shitty enough of a person and Breibart booted Him out the Door).

Breibart built itself on a Foundation of RACISM, XENOPHOBIA, ANTI-SEMITISM, AND PROMOTING RACIST CONSPIRACY THEORIES. Breibart is so utterly fucking Despicable They were DENIED SENATE PRESS CREDENTIALS. Thanks to Their Hate Filled White Nationalist Views/Content More than 4,000 Companies have BANNED BREIBART FROM RUNNING THEIR ADVERTISEMENTS. Breibart has also been KICKED OFF OF ALMOST EVERY SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM SO FAR FOR RACIST PROPAGANDA. SO Once Again Zuckerburg Hired a Well known RACIST HATE GROUP to work for/with Facebook providing so called “Quality News”.

Lastly as far as the Moronic MAGA Maggots once Trump the Traitor had been Impeached, Removed, Arrested, and Imprisoned I believe We should DEPORT THE SACKS OF SHIT. Now I wouldn’t wish MAGAs on My Worst Enemy so the Question is Where the fuck do You send Human Garbage?! My Suggestion is taking a Page out of England’s Historical Playbook. When England back in he Day wanted to Elevate Over Crowded Prisons and Prevent future Crime decided to Deport all The Criminals to Australia and effectively Strand Them There for Good.

I propose America does the Same Thing, BUT instead of Australia We Deport and Dump the motherfucking MAGAs in Antartica. They can’t fuck with or talk shit to anyone since the current Population of Antartica is ZERO. That and MAGAs are so fucking proud of Being White, The Color White, and All Thing White Antartica would be fucking Perfect as its Entirely White.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (47/365)

The Conversation was abruptly interrupted by a Loud and constant Pounding on Dizzy’s Door. In the blink of a fucking Eye Dizzy strode over to the couch, dropped to His knees, reached underneath the Couch and pulled out a Large Meat Cleaver. Then Dizzy with Meat Cleaver at the ready strode over to the Door and threw it Wide Open like a B-Horror Movie Lunatic standing in the Door way brandishing a Meat Cleaver.

Standing in the Narrow dimly lit Hallway was a skinny almost emaciated looking Kid who looked to be around 11 or 12 years of age. The Kid didn’t flinch a single muscle as the Door flung open forcefully smacking into the Wall with a Solid Thug. The Boy didn’t blink at the sight of a Irritable Asshole standing in front of Him glaring angrily at Him holding a Meat Cleaver. Through all the insanity the Boy remained perfectly still, and appeared to be completely unfazed by the whole situation.

       

“What the hell do You want Kid? Well What?! What do You want?!” Demanded Dizzy now appearing to be Utterly Psychotic.

The Boy took a moment to brush His bangs out of His eyes with His hand before answering Dizzy. Meanwhile Dizzy looked like He was about to suffer a Rage induced Aneurysm waiting impatiently for the Kids reply. Jesus Christ Lee thought to Himself Dizzy is definitely a very Cool Guy but Hanging out with Him was getting a tad Exhausting trying to Keep up with Dizzy’s Manic and ever changing Moods.

Dizzy seemed to Deal solely in Extremes there was No Middle Ground, No Grey Area the World was governed by what He proceeded to be Right and Wrong. While Lee was coming to appreciate Dizzy’s Passionate Persona it left Him feeling increasingly Drained as the Day went on.

        

“You called for a Car right.” answered the Kid unassumingly while shifting His weight from foot to foot, and not due to feeling Uneasy but more out of Boredom than anything else.

“Oh fuck Me Running!”, Dizzy exclaimed Loudly his Voice echoing down the Hallway like it was a Medieval Crypt Tunnel, “I absolutely fucking forgot We called Ride for a fucking Ride like, shit 30 minutes or so Ago goddamnit it all to Hell!”

“Well We better hurry the fuck up and Decide what the fuck We are doing then.” said Lee trying carefully Not to Exacerbate the Issue anymore than Necessary.

“Ok here We go how about this,” Dizzy pondered out loud, “I told My Buddy Phil I’d do Him a Work Favor so We could head over to The Crystal Dinner for a couple Beers and Burgers. While We there I can do what I need to to help out My Buddy Phil, and then Drinks are on Me until We part Ways at Least?”

“Sure why the hell Not I could Eat.” Lee said since it was the Easiest Path Traveled at that Moment, and Honestly He was hungry as Hell having spent all Morning into the Afternoon Day Drinking like a Lush.

       

So the Lee and Dizzy grabbed Their gear and ran out of the Apartment not even pausing long enough to close the Door. Lee was going to say something about the open Door, but then He figured if Dizzy didn’t mind Why the fuck should He it was Dizzy shit anyway. The Gruesome Twosome barreled through the tight, dark and rather Dank hallway corridors, and then went sleeping down the Stairs as fast as Their feet would take them.

They Two busted out the Apartment buildings Front Door like They had been shot out of a fucking Cannon onto the Street. Lee stopped for a moment bent over trying to catch His Breath. Fucking Cigarettes Lee thought to Himself as He chest Heaved Up and Down like the Ocean Waves during a fucking Hurricane.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT BULLSHIT A FUCKING SMART CAR!!!” Screamed Dizzy in complete Disbelief  and Total Disgust.

        

Stay Tuned For Next Weeks Insanely Baffling Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (48/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

FYB Friday Mutant Monster Movie Night: Class of Nuke’em High 2: Subhumanoid Meltdown

FYB is Especially Excited to Bring You Tonight’s Movie from The Legendary, and Iconic Independent Film Maker Troma Picture’s  Cult Classic CLASS OF NUKE’EM HIGH 2: SUBHUMANOID MELTDOWN!!!

Class Of Nuke’em High 2: Subhumanoid Meltdown is a Action Horror Comedy (1991), and the FIRST SEQUAL to the 1986 Movie Class Of Nuke’em High.

        

Welcome to the Tromaville Institute of Technology where a Melt-Down Prone Nuclear Power Plant breeds Hideously DRONE SLAVES, DEFORMED GIANT MUTANT SQUIRRELS, and Obnoxious TALKING BELLY BUTTONS with Bad Ass Attitudes. This Incredibly Insane Adventure in Gene Splicing, Anarchy, and Sheer Terror Run Rampant on the Campus of Tromaville Tech as the Students join Forces with the SUBHUMANOIDS to do away with the Insidious and Hedonistic Corperate Scum responsible for a Wave of MALICIOUS MUTANT MELTDOWNS and MASSACRES! Can Peace and Environmental Hygiene  ever be Restored to the Once Peaceful Town of Tromaville?!

WARNING: The Following Movie Contains Content That May be DISTURBING, OFFENSIVE OR TRAUMATIC and is Intended for Mature Audiences ONLY! Viewer Discretion is Advised. Enjoy.

Hope You Enjoyed Troma’s Murderous Mutant Monster Movie CLASS OF NUKE’EM HIGH 2  as Much as We Did, Do, and Always Will.

Thanks for Watching,

  Presented by Les Sober

IRS Assholes At Work

The IRS is a fucking Scam that must have the American Forefathers rolling over in Their Graves. This fucking Country was founded on several Democratic Principals one of which was NO TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION. Eventually the American Government has become so Hypocritical and Corrupt as fuck.

I have no issue paying Taxes if the MONEY GOES to what its Appropriated for like Education or Infrastructure, BUT as always in Politics the Money goes to whatever fucking bullshit the GOVERNMENT deems appropriate regardless of how the Tax Payers fell or think about it.

The IRS is the embodiment of Taxation without Representation as They were created to do one thing and one thing Only Collect Taxes like Sales Tax, Income Tax, Property Tax, and even a fucking DEATH TAX. Yes that’s right when You die the Government will attempt to help themselves to HALF of ALL Your Financial Worth at the Time of Death. One last massive Tax  to send You on Your way into the Afterlife. I only say attempt because if You don’t insulate Your investments then Yes the Government will take HALF. It’s a fucking Tax for DYING. Since when was Death Taxable seriously what the fuck?!

       

Now as You might Image as a Governmental Agency with One Job to Collect ALL TAXES No Matter What that over the Years (and combined with Politicians growing GREED) the IRS set Out to Collect as Much Money as They Possibly could. So with the help of the fucking Politicians the IRS as become one Serious Motherfucker since The Government can change the fucking Rules whenever They fucking want. SO one the DECADES the IRS has had added Additional Laws, Rules, Regulations, and Protocols all designed to let Them STEAL MORE AND MORE OF YOUR FUCKING MONEY.

A PRIME Example of such Legislative Rape is Something I am Personally have been Dealing with Every fucking Year for Several Years now, and will have to continue to Deal with over the up coming Years where the Scales will be Tipped farther and farther in the IRS’s fucking Corrupt Favor.

Now there is a LITTLE Good News is a Group of Legal and Financial experts at some point in Time Managed to Institute TAX FREE ACCOUNTS. I think it’s one of if not the Greatest Financial Creations in American History. I mean TAX FREE Accounts are Designed to FUCK THE GOVERNMENT OUT OF EVEN A SINGLE FUCKING DIME of Your Money. Unfortunately TAX FREE Accounts are Hard and Maintain due to the Fact the IRS Obviously LOATHS TAX FREE Accounts because of that Fact.

       

With the Corrupt UnAmerican IRS Inventing More and More Creative ways to get Their filthy fucking Hands on Your Money No Matter What which is what They were Designed to do. So it’s NO Surprise one of the IRS’s Key Targets was to Find a way to BLEED TAX FREE ACCOUNTS DRY in spite of the Restrictions set in place to PROTECT CITIZENS FROM FINANCIAL PREDATORS LIKE THE GODDAMN IRS.

I just so happen to have Money tied up in a TAX FREE Account which You think would Delight Me, and to an extent it does. The problem is the cocksucking IRS devised a way to Tax Me None the Less. The IRS Implemented MANDATORY YEARLY WITHDRAWALS which means You HAVE to take whatever Amount the fucking IRS tells EVERY YEAR. This way the IRS can TAX IT  Even thought You DON’T WANT TO WITHDRAW JACK DIDDLY SHIT.

It DOESN’T End There it gets even MORE fucking Criminal. I got a call from My Financial Money Men’s Office letting Me know its time for the Bullshit Mandatory IRS Withdrawal, AND it INCREASED BY 1/3 from Last Year. When I asked Why the amount Increased I was simply told the Following. The fucking IRS realized Not only can They FORCE You to withdraw Money so They can Tax it, BUT They can Increase the Yearly Withdrawal. That Way The can Tax You even MORE every fucking Year of Your Life Until the TAX FREE Account is Completely Drained. Now the IRS doesn’t want to put You in the Poor House since Poor People turn Only a Small Profit They just simply want You to MOVE your Money into an Account They can TAX at Will.

       

In The End a Country Founded on the Principle of Taxation without Representation Created the IRS who’s Existence is based on  TAX ING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU FOR AS MUCH AS FUCKING POSSIBLE EVEN WHEN YOU FUCKING DIE.

Land of the Free? FUCK THAT.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober (12:13 am)

I’m Being Held Hostage By A 6 Year Old

I live in a Tiny Town which means there far less fucking People I have to Tolerate or Deal with. Not only that but the Community that I live in is made up of 65% Vacation Homes meaning theres only a Handful of Full Time Residents living out here by The Lake. So theres PLENTY of fucking Elbow Room for Everyone which someone like Me Fully Appreciates.

As a Writer I have My own set of Practices and Rituals when it comes to Writing one of which is I prefer to Write Outside whenever possible. Since Our current Home Office has a rather Massive Front Porch, and the Weather being absolutely Perfect this time of Year makes it an Optimal Time to Write Outdoors. It’s Not to Hot and Not too cold You know all that Goldie Locks and the Three Bears bullshit.

Now unfortunately one of the Other Full Time Residents live just across the Street from of and have Kids three to be exact. While I have never seen Hide nor Hair of the Two Older Children the Youngest Montana (who is Six Years Old) is a MUCH Different fucking Story I assure You.

       

There several issues that contribute to My ongoing Problem which is Montana has made it a habit recently of coming over and Talking to Me while I’m on the Porch Writing or at any He sees Me as a Matter of Fact. Now Don’t get Me wrong I may be an Asshole, but I’m Not a fucking Monster. I don’t mind Waving or Saying Hello, and I don’t mind chatting  for a moment Here and There with Him time permitting.

Montana’s Parents turn Him loose Outside with No Limitations on where He can Roam, and with No Adult Supervision. They just put Him out like You would a Dog and by that I mean I don’t think an Adult is paying any Attention to what the fuck the Kid is up to They seem Oblivious. Out of Sight Out of Mind doesn’t Work for Raising a Child.

We live in such a Remote Area there aren’t a whole hell of a lot of Kids for Montana to play with. Outside of Montana and His two Siblings I can only think of One other Child living in the Neighborhood (and He’s 14 so He obviously has no fucking interest in hanging out with a little 6 year old Kid). So Montana has to Entertain Himself a majority of the Time which has to be Lonely as Children are Social Creatures, and Yes I don feel bad for the Kid in that respect. I grew up in a Neighborhood devoid of Other Kids for Years and it Seriously fucking Sucked. Imaginary Friends only go so Far.

       

Not to mention that I don’t know a damn thing about Kids Not a Single thing mind You. I don’t know what They like, what They don’t like, How they Develop, What They do at certain ages, Behavior shit, Their interests, Their Hobbies, Not a Single fucking Clue. This is due to the fact I’m a grown fucking Man who doesn’t have Kids (as of Yet), and while there plenty of Kids in My Family We live all over the fucking Place. I don’t have a lot of Exposure to Kids on any sort of consistent basis is My point. I don’t remember being Six Myself for fuck’s sake.

Since I’m a Grown fucking Man I have nothing in common with a 6 Year Old, and absolutely No Reason to be associating with one at Length. The last fucking thing I need is Especially in a Small fucking Town is to get Labeled the Creepy Old Guy that Parents Warn Their Kids about Avoiding. I don’t work with Kids in any capacity or in The Child Care Field as a Teacher for example, Montana is not a Related to Me nor Is he the Child of Dear Family Friends, and Again Montana is just 6 years Old. Theres NO reason on God’s Green Earth for Him to be associating with an Adult Virtual Stranger. Shit like that gets People Talking  out Their asses and Spreading Rumors like Wild Fire. I’m not going to be perceived by the Local Community as some sort of potential Child Molester or fucking piece of shit Pedophile thats for fucking Sure.

        

Now while My wonderful and Much Friendlier/Social Wife has already gone over and introduced Herself, got to Know Montana’s Parents, and Chat with them awhile I have Not. To Be utterly Honest I haven’t even so much as Waved Hello to Either of Them which makes Me look like a REAL Dick. The funny thing about it is when My Wife met Montana’s Parents and mentioned Him They had No Idea We knew of His Existence. My Point is They had No idea Their young Child had been across the Street hanging out and talking to a Adult Stranger on a Frequent Basis.

Thus Not knowing shit about Kids, Not wanting to get Labeled a Pervert, and Not wanting to Hurt the Kids feeling since I don’t know the appropriate way to tell or get an annoying Child to Fuck Off I have been avoiding Montana like the motherfucking plague. So every fucking Day for the last week or so before I set foot outside I wonder around My house peering and leering out of Windows to see if Montana is any where near by at any given moment. If I’m set up outside and working away I will stop what i’m doing, tell Montana I have work to do, and head inside for Who Knows how long since its all dependent on Montana going the fuck away or at least Staying in His own fucking Front Yard for once.

        

I have No idea how the Hell this Bizarre Situation with a 6 Year Old essentially and effectively holding Me hostage in My own fucking Home is going to End I just hope and Pray it isn’t an utter fucking Shit Show. What I need to do is get some credible advice on the subject Hopefully before I lose My Shit due to growing Frustration and All fucking Hell Breaks Loose. I’m getting too Tired to be The Old Me.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober (12:23 am)

Salute To Eccentrics Peter The Canine Trainer And His Pet Raven Sam

We here at FYB have a Devout Devotion, Eternal Curiosity, and True Admiration for Odd Balls, Weirdos, and Most of All Eccentric Personalities. So Saluting Some of Our Favorite Eccentrics Just made Sense, and We decided to Start with None Other Than Peter The Dog Trainer.

We FYB could dig up as For Information pertaining to Peter The Dog Trainer/Amateur Comedian/Ventriloquist/Military Veteran, and Owner of Peter Caine Dog Training is as Follows. Peter Canine  (for short or perhaps He had his Last Name changed at some Point)  is an Actual Real Life Dog Trainer and Animal Lover from Brooklynn NY who’s Family History was raising Hunting Dogs. All Though Peter is a Real Dog Trainer His methods remain Highly Controversial. Peter is known for His Regular Criticism of Fellow Dog Trainers going as Far as to Once Say “Fuck Ceaser Milan.”

       

Peter hit the Internet in 2017 and has Gradually become Know as One of The Internet’s Most Eccentric Personalities to Date.  Peter is a Adimate Believer in Bigfoot and Claims He has definitive Proof Bigfoot Exists in the Rotting Remains of a Head of a Decapitated Bigfoot His Dad supposedly Shot and Killed back in 1953.

Peter’s fascination with Bigfoot doesn’t End There NOT by a Long shot as He claims to have Several Personal Face To Face Encounters with Bigfoot, and has Even Trained a Dog in the Art of Tracking/Hunting Down an Actual Bigfoot. FYB will Most Definitely be Posting Next Week Pertaining to Peter’s Bigfoot Fetish, but for Now Let’s examine another aspect of Peter’s Life His Pet Raven Sam (Yes Edgar Allen Poe is Rolling in His Grave with Obvious Jealousy).

       

We definitely have a Deep Fondness for Peter Canine’s Video’s pertains to His Pet Raven Sam. The Oddest thing is Peter DOESN’T Recommend ANYONE Own a Raven or Have one as a Pet. Raven are well Documented as being HIGHLY INTELLIGENT and have a Shit Ton of Requirements if Your looking to have One as a Pet.

The Intrigue We have with these Videos is How Absolutely Defeated Peter Looks in Each of His Sam The Raven Videos. It appears that Sam The Raven has worn Poor Peter down to His breaking Point, and Totally Dominates Peter’s Life. It’s almost as if Sam has Broken Peter’s Spirit making Him Totally Subservient to Him. If there is an Actual Master in Their Relationship its  definitely Sam.

We Hope You Enjoyed Meeting Peter The Dog Trainer (and Sam) as Much as We Did, And Remember To Keep Your Mind Open For A Closed Mind Rots and Decays .

Thanks for Viewing,

 Presented By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (46/365)

“Options, Options, Options are Good to Have, So Let’s see here What are Our Options?” mused Dizzy Aloud as He began to Pace the length of the Room slowly clearing a Small Path through the Empty Cigarette Packs, Beer Cans, Long Smoked Dimebags, and the Other various Refuse that Littered the Floor.

“We could Call My Buddy Hall Ucinogen and pick up a Couple Tabs of Acid, and We could go to the New Aquarium. Then We could drop the Acid and Trip Balls for 8 hours fucking with the Fish.” Lee suggested causally in a very off the Cuff manner.

“That be fine if We were in fucking High School, come on Man that shit is so Played the fuck out. What’s Your next suggestion We smoke some Weed and go to the fucking Planetarium to catch a Later Light Show?!” responded Dizzy with a Great Deal of Disgust.

        

Lee sat back on the Couch to collect Himself since Dizzy’s attitude was currently Shit. Lee focused on a Massive Spider Web that encompassed an entire Corner of the Room. Lee thought what an amazing feet for such a small insect then it occurred to Him that He hadn’t actually seen the Spider, and considering the size of the Web it could be a Formidable Sized Spider. Lee started to psych Himself out as His eyes darted frantically around the Room searching for a Glimpse of the Illusive Arachnid.

“Hey We could Drive around and Pick Up Road Kill and Drop it on the Front Door of People We fucking Don’t Like Very Well.” said Dizzy with an enthusiastic tone in His Voice that communicated His excitement at this Option.

“First off We Don’t have a fucking Car so We’d have to call those Tech Nerd Ride People for a Lift. Now I have never used Their service before, BUT I can pretty much fucking Guarantee Our Driver wouldn’t dig the Idea of Us loading up His Trunk with Rotting Roadkill Carcasses. So I Don’t think that idea would fucking Pan Out.” said Lee crankily still a bit taken back by Dizzy’s response to His initial Idea.

“Ok How about We score a Case of Beer, Go down to the City Dump, Get Drunk, and Shoot Rats?” countered Dizzy taking a moment to sift through the Trash on the Floor with His foot.

“You have a Gun?” Lee asked though He didn’t find the Fact Dizzy Owning a Gun that Surprising to tell the Truth.

“Relax Scarface its just My Grandfather’s Old .22 Rifle that He used to Hunt O’possum and Armadillo for Food. He was one of those Gnarled Old Appalachian Mountain Men You Know,” answered Dizzy Happy to Reminisce about His Bad Ass Outlaw Grandpa,” He started smoking at age 8 and started Drinking Moonshine by 11. Spent His whole fucking Life breaking His fucking Back scratching Out a Meager Living do Odd Jobs and supplementing His minimum Income by Bootlegging and Trapping. He was one Hard motherfucker I’ll tell You That He could Make a Man piss Himself just by Glaring at Them.”

        

“While it’s Not the Worst idea of the Day I Don’t want to End up sitting on a shitty Syringe and wreaking of fucking Filth for Four or Five Days.” said Lee trying to be encouraging since being Proactive yielded far better Results than just Being Reactive.

“Alright The How about We go down to the Strip Mall, Strip buck Naked, and Run around like fucking Psycho’s like We’re on Bath Salt Bender?” suggested Dizzy after a brief and awkward pause.

“I give it a fucking A for Creativity thats for fucking Sure. The only Drawback is if We do that there’s virtually No Chance of Escape because it wouldn’t take long before Someone or Some Store Owner called the goddamn Cops. And while I love Extreme Pranks and Seriously fucking with People I don’t want to spend the Night in the Drunk Tank. That and it really Piss off My Probation Officer too.” replied Lee as He looked for a Lighter that actually worked to light His Cigarette with.

       

Stay Tuned for Next Weeks Enthralling Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (47/365)

Thanks for Reading,

 By Les Sober (12:24 am)

A Bedtime Story For Adults Only

This Little Diddy was brought to My Attention by My Brother’s Good Friend Paul a few Days ago. As I mentioned My brother was in Town and He invited a Few of His Friends Along with Him. Some of the People where a My Brother’s High School Partner in Crime Ethan and His Wife who just had Their first Baby just 4 Months prior to the Trip.

The thing that Truly Sucks about Your Friends having Kids is on One Hand You’re obviously Psyched as Hell for Them as becoming Parents is an Awe  Inspiring Life Changing Event. Not to mention in loo of the Anxiety of Bring a New Life into the World They’re Happy as All Get Out about experiencing the Miracle of Birth First fucking Hand.

        

The Flip Side of the Coin is it makes Hanging Out difficult and Rather Boring as EVERYTHING They will talk about is fucking Baby Related. There’s the Baby’s Sleep Schedule, Feeding Schedule, Baby Gear, Baby Books/Articles, Baby Development, Baby Health Issues, Baby Blogs/Vlogs, Baby Achievements (such as Rolling the fuck Over for example), and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEIR STORIES IS ABOUT THE GODDAMN KID.

       

So Everyone was mingling around on the Front Porch just Killing Time and the Talk (as it does 98% of the time when hanging with New Parents) quickly turned to Their Baby and Baby Shit in General. Thats when Paul busted this Little Bit of Sunshine to Brighten Our Day. It Served as a Small Reminder that Not Everything about Being Parents is Boasting about Their Baby. Babies are Cute but They can Drive You to the Point of Actual Madness. The Trick I’m Told is Surviving the First 3 Months which are HELL AND A HALF, but if You can Keep Enough of Your Sanity in Tact after the Initial 90 Days Your quality of Life Greatly Improves.

       

The following Video is the Story Go The Fuck To Sleep by Author Adam Mansbach, Illistrated by Ricardo Cortes, and Read by No Other than Mr. Samuel L. Jackson.

Warning: The Following Video Contains Strong Language and Excessive Use of the “F”  Word that Some Viewers May Find Offensive!

Enjoy.

We Hope You Enjoyed Tonight’s Bedtime Tale as Much as We Do.

Thanks for Reading/Viewing/Listening,

 Presented by Les Sober