Month: February 2020

Pressure Sales Are For Idiots, Imbeciles, and Assholes

I don’t know about You up I for One absolutely fucking Hate Pressure Sales made most Popular by Car Salesmen. I swear to God I have no fucking Idea WHY any Salesperson would think that a Good Sales Strategy to get in a Customer’s Face and Badger Them, Bullshit Them, Hassle Them, and Ignore what the Customer is Saying (Especially when the Customer pushes back or resisted the Salesperson’s Pitch). If I walk into any Place of Business and a Salesman runs up on Me with that fucking Smarmy Fake “I’m Your Friend, I’m here For You” Routine I immediately Walk Out. And to be utterly Honest Not only would I leave instantly at this point in My Life, but I’d Curse them out for being an Asshole just for being an Asshole at that Point.

Now recently though I honestly have No fucking Why because I have Great fucking Health Insurance and Thank fucking God for That. That Aside I have been getting way too Many Sales Calls from a Variety of  Assholes trying to Sell Me fucking Health Insurance. I finally had enough and Cursed the Last Health Insurance Salesman to Hell and Back I assure You.

           

I then Started getting fucking Robo Calls Asking if I was interested in a Health Insurance Quote. I quite obviously selected Choice #2 The Opt Out Option, but I still received several additional Robo calls before They finally fucking Stopped. Needless to Say I was far from fucking Thrilled about the First Robo Calls continuing the Attempt for Some Shady Insurance Salesman Scumbag to Sell Me Health Insurance.

Then just a Couple of Days ago the Insurance Shits decided to Text Me Now which again is fucking Ridiculous as far as I’m concerned. I mean I didn’t want to Talk to Them, I Didn’t Opt to Talk to Them, so Why the fuck did They think Texting ME would Work?! Now obviously NOT an Actual Person I was exchanging the Following Texts with thats a Given. With that Said the Fact of the Matter is Someone (A Person) had to Program the Tech to Respond in the manner in which it did. That in My mind is Equally as Insane as a Real Person Texting Me this Happy Horseshit.

          

Anyways Heres the Text Exchange Verbatim:

Sales Bot: Hey Les! Hey this is the insurance enrollment center. Want to see if we can save you money on your current health insurance plan? Reply Stop if you do not need a Quote.

Les: STOP!

*3 Minutes Later and Guess Who Texting Me Yep You Got it, and while I’m at it I’d like to Point Out that the Alleged Company Name is/was The Insurance Enrollment Center at First may sound find First, BUT when You think about it for a minute it’s a Totally Bullshit Name. It’s the kind of Generically Vague yet somewhat smiler sounding names Indian Phone Scammers come up with to Use. Any which way I digress for Now.*

        

Sales Bot: Hey Les! Hey this is the insurance enrollment center. want to see if we can save you money on your current health insurance plan? Reply Stop if you do not need a quote.

Les: STOP! STOP! STOP! This is the fucking second fucking time I have replied fucking STOP so STOP ASSHOLES.

Sales Bot: I understand, but a few minutes of your time could save you over $100 per month in healthcare costs. Is now a good time to call?

Les: FUCK OFF CUNTS!

Sales Bot: Thank you for your time. If you would like a healthcare quote, give us a call at this number and we go over your options. You will receive no further communication from us.

Les: Fuck You.

        

Again I have No fucking Clue Why someone would Program a Bot or Algorithm bullshit to ignore the Potential Customer even when Verbally Assaulted with virtually anything more than The Foulest of Words. Also if You noticed They kept trying to Sell Me on Their So Called Services all the way to the Absolute End. They leave off reminding Me first and Foremost that if I need Health Insurance to Give Them a Call. What the Fuck.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed

We would like to take the opportunity to let You know that due to circumstances beyond Our control (Unfortunately to Say Least) Our Dear Friend N@P needs a Friend as He has been Trudging through some Shit. Thusly FYB more than likely will Not Be Posting for the Next 48 hours or so as Helping Out Our Dear Friend is Now Priority Number One.

            

We Apologize for Any and All inconvenience and Please bear with Us. We can assure You We have Stock Piled a Great Deal of Brand New Crazy, Disturbing, Odd, Absurd, Funny, and Fucked Up Content in the Mean Time SO STAY TUNED KIDDIES!

           

Sincerely,

  Les Sober

FYB Tuesday Terror Movie: MEAT GRINDER!!!

FBY is Proud to Present the 2009 Thai Cannibal Horror Movie MEAT GRINDER Written and Directed by Tiwa Moeithaisong.

           

Brief Plot Summery: But (Played by Mai Charoenpura) is a DISTURBED Woman who hears Voices in Her head and Tormented by Horrific Visions. Having been Taught some Dubious and Unconventional Food Preparation and Cooking Skills by Her Mother, She decides to Open up a Noodle Stall, using the Dead Body of a Man who was Killed in a Riot as the Main Ingredient. Soon the Customers are Turning up in Droves for Her Delicious Meals, and Life start is looking up as a Nice Good Looking Young Man takes a Romantic Interest in Her. However, Her past comes back to HAUNT Her, and as her Mental State starts to Break Down, Yet more People end up on The CHOPPING BLOCK or HANGING ON MEAT HOOKS in Her Basement.

           

The Film also Tackles the Themes of Mental Illness and the Mistreatment of Women, with But’s Behavior being Depicted as being part of an ongoing CYCLE OF VIOLENCE that she suffered as a Child, and which She is now passing on to Her own Daughter. Will But’s Cannibal Cuisine end up getting Her Caught or will Her Flair for Cooking Human Flesh lead to Her to the Life She always Wanted? Wait, Watch, and see for Yourself.

We hope You enjoyed this Tasty Cannibalistic Morsel as Much as We Did.

Thanks for Watching,

  Presented by Les Sober

Cartoons That Aren’t For Kids: The Sad Tale OF Bad Breath Joe and Smile!

In this Installment of Cartoon’s That Aren’t For Kids We are Amused to Present THE SAD TALE OF BAD BREATH JOE followed by SMILE!

In Spite of its Lengthy Title The Sad Tale of Bad Breath Joe is just a mere 60 seconds of Insanity. What could this Minute of Madness be about Exactly?! After some time Brainstorming and Bouncing Ideas off Each other here are just a few Possibilities. It could be a Cautionary Tale of Choices and Their Consequences, it could be a Commentary on People’s Desire to be Liked/Loved, It may be a Statement on the Fear of Not being Accepted or possibly Singled Out as the Preverbal Black Sheep. It might also be a Commentary on Sacrifice for the Greater Good or on People’s Persecution of  People who are perceived Different or Defective. Other things the Cartoon may be addressing are Expectance, Peer Pressure, Society’s Perception of Beauty, a Need to Fit In, Self Confidence, Wanting to Belong, The Hell You Know Might be Better than the One You Don’t, Being Yourself No Matter What, or it very well may just be a Little Taste of Cartoon Crazy So. Enjoy.

SMILE! is Cartoon by Aleksandor Wasilewski which has rather Grim and Ominous  Overtones right from the Start. SMILE! has a Stark Black and White Color Scheme as well as Music by the band God Speed You! Black Emperor. SMILE! has an Oppressive feel that is Reminiscent of George Orwell’s Classic Novels  Animal Farm and 1984 as the Cartoon Unfolds. The Story is Simple a Forlorn Man sits in front of a Tribunal/Council of Some sort who are all sitting a Commanding Banner that reads SMILE! with a Giant Smily Face On it. All The Council Members are Staring directly at the Forlorn Man while Smiling Manically. Every time the Man is Instructed by a Flashing Sign to Smile the Man must Smile or He is  Penalized by the Various Members of the Council. Can the Man find it in Himself to Conform before the Council Kills Him for Non Compliance? You’ll have to See for Yourself. Enjoy.

Thanks for Watching,

  Brought to You By Les Sober

FYB’s Friday Madman Movie: GROTESQUE!!!

FYB is Excited to Present the 2009 Japanese Exploitation Horror Film written and Directed by Kaji Shiraishi GROTESQUE! Though Grotesque is billed as a Exploitation Horror Movie most People would Classify it as The Horror Sub Genre known as Torture Porn (made Famous by movies such as Saw and Hostel for example).

           

Plot Summery: The Young Couple Aki and Kazuo are Kidnapped off the Street during Their First Date after being co-workers for many Years. The Couple wakes up Shackled in a Basement with Plastic-Covered Walls. With No Explanation a SADISTIC MADMAN precedes to DEGRADE, TORTURE, AND MUTILATE THEM! The Madman stops Torturing the Couple to Provide Medical Assistance to Heal the Couple’s Wounds, so They can Live for a Longer Period of Time. It gradually becomes apparent that the Madman has Professional Medical Training, Refined Manners, a Taste for Classical Music, and Fine Wines. He also dresses in Expensive Clothes when He isn’t dressed like a PSYCHOTIC SURGEN. During the TORTURE PROCESS, it is Revealed the Madman is simply Torturing the Couple Mercilessly for Sexual Stimulation, and Informs the Couple He actually wants Them to SURVIVE the Ordeal.

Can the Young Couple Survive The Sick Sexual Horror They’re subjected to or are They Destined to Die in the Sinister Clutches of The Psychotically Sadistic Surgeon??? You’ll just have to watch and See. Enjoy.

(Note to Viewer: You’ll Have to Set Subtitles to “English” in Settings).

           

WARNING FROM FYB: THIS MOVIE IS FOR EXTREME HARDCORE FANS ONLY! ONCE YOU SEE IT YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO UNSEE IT. PLEASE NOTE THAT VIEWER DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED!!!

We Hope You enjoyed the Sadistic Slaughter as Much as We Did.

Thanks for Watching,

  Presented by Les Sober

Lee Jonitis:Professional People Watcher (57/365)

Lee diverted His gaze towards the Front of the Bus were a Small Old Man who looked sickly thin almost skeletal. It reminded Lee of a Late Stage Alcoholic who has given up food to Ingest just Alcohol like His deceased Uncle Wilber. The Man was so thin His clothes though the Right size when the Man was Healthier now hung on His Feeble Frame like a Child trying on His Father’s Suit. The Oldman’s long mostly white and greasy hair was slicked back, and along with His scraggly beard both seemed only to exaggerate His Disheveled Appearance. The Old man Shuffled Heel-Toe past the Driver and sat down in the Seat directly behind the Driver.

As soon as the Old Man sat down He slumped forward so far Lee thought He might tumble head first onto the Bus Floor at the slightest bump or jiggle. The next thing Lee knew the Old Man started to Vomit though since He apparently hadn’t eaten in a Long While He was puking up a Vile combination of Bile, Stomach Acid, Cheap Booze, and an excessive amount of Saliva. The Man just continued to periodically vomit over and over again until His Lap was a Pool of Putrid Smelling Puke. The Vomit that had Pooled in the Old MAn’s Lap began to soak into His pants and the Over flow started to creep down the Man’s Trouser Leg like a Waterfall in Slow Motion. The Smell permitted the Bus from end to End as Passengers fumbled frantically to Open as Many of the Bus window’s as Possible. All the while the Driver acted absolutely Oblivious to the Human Vomit Fountain sitting behind Him only Inches away. Lee felt his gag reflex about to go Full Tilt on Him and He at last looked away from the Old Man and His Veracious Public Vomiting Episode.

           

“HEY! HEY! HEY!,” whispered Dizzy like an Excited Child, “Look over there the Bus Bunny is making Her Move. I fucking told you, I fucking so told You So!”

Lee shot a quick glance in the Direction of the Bus Bunny who had remained standing in the aisle next to the Tweeked Out Businessman idol chatting away. Now She moved so she was now standing in Front of the Businessman  as if She was simply passing by Him to the reach Window Seat. Then in the blink of an Eye the Bus Bunny transformed momentarily into some sort of Sex Ninja. In an Instant the Bus Bunny had Her Panties off and in Her purse, Mini Skirt Hiked Up, and was bouncing up and down on the Businessman’s Meth induced Boner all in one Foul Swoop. Lee’s turned His attention to the second set of Bus Door at the Back of the Bus as it pulled up to a Stop.

A Small group of perhaps 7-8 Very Stern looking Asian Men boarded the Bus, and moved immediately to the Back of the Bus occupying the Last several rows. As Lee looked on The Group of rather Grim looking Asian Men pulled out Large Rolls of Money, started counting out Different Amounts, and Handing them Back and Forth. The Eldest Member of the Group reached into a Bag had slung over His right Shoulder to retrieve a Bottle of Saki and what appeared to be Several Saki Cups. The Elderly Man placed the Bottle on the Floor of the Bus while he handed out the Saki Cups one by one to each member of the Group.

           

“What in the name of all things Strange is that all about?” asked Lee hoping Dizzy would have some sort of Insight into the Subject, and luckily Lee wasn’t Disappointed.

“Oh yeah that,” said Dizzy casually, “They’re coming from a Beta Fish Fight down in China Town.”

“What in the hell is a Beta Fish Fight?” Lee wondered aloud disregarding His surroundings.

“Well You know how We have Dog Fighting here in America Right? Well in Asia especially Thailand and Vietnam the Locals host Beta Fish Fights where People can Gamble on the Outcome,” replied Dizzy completely at ease, “Beta Fish are Cool looking, BUT they are Aggressive as a Motherfucker thats why in the Pet Stores they are Housed Solely by Themselves. If you put a Beta Fish in Your Tank they will not stop until they have killed every other fish in the Tank including Other Beta’s. Thats why Beta Fish Fights found a Home in Overseas Gambling.”

           

“Alright thats insanely nitrating, but that doesn’t explain the Slightly sweet smell wafting off of the Entire Group? Mind you its not a bad Smell just one I’m not Familiar with is all.” said Lee with a good deal of conviction.

“Opium. What Your smelling is Opium.” answered Dizzy without pause.

“They smoke Opium at Beta Fish Fights to?!” asked Lee in disbelief at what Dizzy had just told Him.

“No, No They don’t smoke it Nowadays, BUT all the basements and backrooms where the Beta Fish Fights are held used to be Opium Dens back in the Day,” Dizzy said with a Scholarly Air, “You see just like with Cigar Smoke Opium smoke lingered in the Rooms and slowly but surely permitted into the Wood Furniture, Wood Accents all that kind of Shit. Apparently they smoked so much fucking Opium that the Smell is not just noticeable at the Fish Fights but it can stick to the Attendees clothing and hair as well.”

            

Stay Tuned for the Next Pulse Racing Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (58/365)

Thank for Reading,

  By Les Sober

The Mystery of Meatsleep’s Deleted Content (Videos 20-25)

Welcome to Yet Another Installment of The Mystery of Meatsleep’s Deleted Content. To Reiterate if You haven’t watched the Previous Meatsleep Installments We highly Suggest You View them First since the Videos are in Chronological Order. A Very Quick Recap the Meatsleep Mystery centers around a Series of Strange to Disturbing Videos by a Person going by Meatsleep. The Mystery You see is figuring out if the Videos are Just a Bizarre but Harmless Art Project, or the Real Life Documentation done by an Actual Serial Killer.

We mentioned in Addition to the Meatsleep Videos We have also been compiling any and all Information We can track Down Pertaining to the Mystery of Meatsleep. This Installment is No Different. We decided to poke around Meatsleep’s Defunct Youtube Channel for Shits and Giggles. Now while currently Meatsleep’s Youtube Page has been Thoroughly Deleted (No Videos, Playlists, Channels Etc.) Doesn’t necessarily mean there’s nothing Noteworthy.  Granted the following isn’t ground breaking shit, but when it comes to Unraveling a Mystery to find the Truth at Its Core Every Piece of Information, Every Observation is Pertinent.

            

With that said Here’s what We Noticed still Lingering on Meatsleep’s Youtube Channel. First the Top Picture Bar deal is a Photo of the Exterior of a rather Non descriptive Building that’s painted an Ugly and  Sickly Shade of Green. What is the Significance of this Picture and what part does it play if any in this Ongoing Mystery? With a Mystery like This Nothing should be Overlooked or Causally Dismissed. Next We noticed Meatsleep’s Profile Picture is that of a Couple (2-4) Wild Boars could this be a Clue in Deciphering the Meaning behind the Name Meatsleep?  We then saw that when Meatsleep’s Youtube Channel was Up and Running They had 11.1 Thousand Subscribers which is neither here nor there, But it means that Meatsleep had an Active Audience Watching at the Time. The Last and most Significant piece of Information was When We clicked on the “About” heading and discovered Meatsleep Joined Youtube on April 10, 2016. Again the Date itself doesn’t stand alone, Yet it aids in Establishing a Timeline.

            

Below are Meatsleep’s Video’s 20-25 and We want to take a Moment to Comment on Them Directly.  The first in Line Video 20 Titled “Commencement” is Not Worth Watching (We included it since We are Posting the Entire Series) as it’s 9:01 minutes of a Black Screen with No Audio Either. We aren’t sure of the Significance of this it could as It could be a Comment on Evil, Darkness, Death, Isolation, Damnation, Purgatory, Space, Infinity, or a Commentary on How People have Eyes but Usually Can’t See what’s right in Front of Them. Then again it could be Meatsleep’s way of Throwing a Monkey Wrench into the Works to Throw People off Their Game or Off the Trail or Perhaps Meatsleep is fucking around just for the sake of fucking around, but that seems unlikely. Secondly Video 22 Titled “bonhomme sept heures” has No Visual Component, Yet unlike “Commencement” it does have a Audio (Music)and some Very Odd Audio at that. We translated the title “bonhomme sept heures” which is French for Seven O’clock (7:00). We mentioned in a Previous Post Most People believe because Meatsleep use of Inuit Characters along with Numerous signs in French (seen in various Videos in the Series) believe Meatsleep is based in Canada. Thus “bonhomme sept heures” would lend credence to that Hypothesis. Enjoy.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

Hope Your Enjoying the Manic Madness of the Meatsleep Mystery as Much as Ww Are.

Thanks for Reading/Watching,

  Brought to You by Les Sober

FYB Musical Monday Part 2: The Oderus Urungus Interviews

Gwar became known/is known for Their Legendary Raucous Live Show’s Full of Beheadings, Buckets of Blood, Gruesome Props, Disembowelment, Over the Top Theatrics, Insane Characters, Executions, and Gore Galore all set to Kick Ass Songs. There is no Doubt Gwar had taken Performance Art to a Whole New fucking Level the likes Humanity has Never Known.

Gwar also garnered a Great Deal of Additional Attention from Their, No Holds Barred, Politically Incorrect, Obscene, Overly Sarcastic, Ridiculously  Loud, Extremely Enthusiastic, Out Spoken, Foul Mouthed Front Man Oderus Urungus (Who’s Real Name was Dave Brockie who Tragically Died in 2014 of a Drug Overdose. Also Brockie originally was the Gwar’s Guitarist from 1984-1986 before jumping behind the Mic as Lead Singer from 1986-2014).

            

Oderus served not only as Lead Singer but did Double Duty as the Main Mouth Piece for Gwar doing a Great Majority of Interviews and Press. Oderus was the Face of Gwar and what a Face it Was. Brockie was not only a Talented Musician and  Iconic Spokes Person He was a Master of Improv constantly thinking on His Feet No Matter Where No Matter When. Oderus could wax Poetically and Absurdly about Anything and with a rather Manic Mind Set could/would jump from Subject to Subject at Will or Whim. ‘s Oderus’s Interviews took on a Life of Their Own and became almost as Notorious as Gwar’s Live Shows (granted though with a Great Deal Less Blood and Gore).

We have Featured a Good bit of Gwar here at FYB over the Years from Official Music Video’s to Concerts to Movies to even Oderus’s rendition of the Classic Children’s Book Good Night Moon. So the Next move obviously was to Track Down a Couple of Our Favorite Oderus Interviews and Showcase Them Here. Enjoy

Hope You Enjoyed the Absurd Insanity of these Interviews as Much as We Did.

  Presented by Les Sober

FYB Musical Monday Part One: The Band Known As GHOUL

As part of FYB Musical Monday We are Showcasing the Trash-Death Metal Grindcore Band from Oakland California known as GHOUL!

Very Little is Known about the band Ghoul as they always seen wearing Masks/Hoods. The Members of the Band go by the Stage Names Cremator, Fermentor, Digestor, and Dissector. Though the Band’ Member’s Identities are meant to be Concealed, it is known the Some Current/Past members of Ghoul also play/have Played in Other Bands such as Impaled, Dystopia, Morbid Angel, Phobia, Asunder, Morosidad, and Wolves in the Throne Room.  Ghoul has an extensive Line up of Characters featured in Their Lyrics, Including the Band Members Themselves. Most of the Information pertaining to Ghoul comes from the “Curio Shop Owner” who is one of Ghoul’s many Characters mentioned in Their Songs. Ghoul claims to be Mutants that herald from the Fictional Land of Creepsylvania.            Below are 2 Official Ghoul Music Videos, A Live Concert Song Excerpt, and for those who find Themselves wanting to know/See/Hear more there is the Full Length Ghoul Concert Live at The National on 10/20/17. Enjoy.

Hope You Enjoyed this Massive Dose of Mutant Metal as Much as We Did.

Presented by Les Sober

One of the Strangest Things I’ve Ever Been Part Of

I was on the Phone the Other Day catching up the Other Day with None Other than the Infamously Infamous SpaceDog who I hadn’t Talked with in Quite Awhile. SpaceDog and I were doing what We always do Talk Shit, Mock Shit We Dislike, Swapping Stories, Sharing Ideas, Collaborating on Projects, Laughing Our Asses Off, Scouring the World with Sarcasm, Catching Up on Current Events, and General Venting.

All of a Sudden Someone using the Name John Drummond called Me which is already odd because I don’t know any asshole by the name of John Drummond. I mentioned the Name to Spacedog who cracked on the Guy’s Name using a Different Strokes TV Show Reference and that was the End of that. Not a minute Later I get a Text from John Drummond who apparently got My Voice Mail, Hung the hell up, and then Texted Me in lieu of Leaving a simple fucking Voicemail. Now it’s important to note I don’t use My Name on My Outgoing Voicemail, but We’ll circle around back to this a little later on. I Scanned the Text and updated Spacedog on the New Text Twist. The Text was pretty straightforward it said:

“I’m looking for The Owner of the Apartment Building in Camden SC” (SC the Abbreviation for South Carolina)

Now at a second glance this Mundane Message appears to be a Bit Bizarre starting with the Fact He Never Used His Name as in “Hi I’m John Drummond….” which You would definitely expect from a Business Call. Second He never used (or asked for that matter) what the fuck My Name was this was the Vaguest Communication I have come across. I informed Spacedog that this was just to fucking weird to Let Go, and that I was going to Set up a Conference Call with Spacedog and then Call this Mr. John Drummond.

           

Unfortunately I fucked the Conference Call deal up, but I didn’t want to hang up on the John Drummond Number just Yet. As the phone is ringing John septs Me a Second Text stating: “Sorry I can’t Talk Right Now.” which was Weird because He had just tried to reach Me twice via the Phone and then Immediately with the follow up Text moments after hanging up on My Voicemail. I decided to stay on the Phone a minute longer to see if John had an actual Voicemail of some sort or was it a Dummy Number that would Ring from here to Eternity with No Answer. I was surprised when I heard an Actual Message from Someone claiming He is John Drummond and I stopped listening and hung the fuck up.

So after conferring with Spacedog for a few Minutes We started to Brain Storm what could/would be the Creepiest and Unnerving Response to Text back (since I wasn’t done with this John Guy not as of Yet anyway). We came up with a Myriad of Ideas involving the Dark Web, Fraudulent Government Type Messages from places like Area 51, Fake Sales Calls for Pudd Puller Ince, and More. I was worried We were wasting too much time fucking around so I wrote back the most Basic Text as Humanly Possible “Can You Text?”. Again I never gave My Name nor did I usedHis I just texted back just those Three Words. Spacedog and I continued Our previous conversation before being interrupted by this John Character.

            

According to the Time Linked with the Individual Text John returned/responded to My Text exactly One Minute Later with a Text that read “On the phone will call back in a Minute.” Spacedog and I were still trying to figure out what the fuck this was all about. You see My Phone has an Out of State Number I haven’t changed on Purpose. Like I’ve said before I’m a Very Private fucking Person so Anonymity is a Key Component of My Personal Privacy Plan. I had checked the Area Code from which John was attempting to reach Me and it was indeed a South Carolina Number, BUT it wasn’t a Camden SC Area Code.

This Meant apparently John was in South Carolina which is where He said He was looking for some Apartment Building Owner, BUT He was in calling from a Area Code just over 3 Hours away from Camden. That placed John in a Completely Different County in a Completely Different part of the State. This Too Seemed more than a little fucking Fishy to Me (as Well as Spacedog) though I couldn’t put My finger on it wasn’t sitting right with Me. And lets face it I was bringing to get a real fucking Kick out of this John-Apartment Owner Bullshit.

           

About 10-15 Minutes Pasted as Spacedog and I chatted Idly before low and behold John is back on the Line. I again try to Merge the two Phone Calls but being Hyper Focused on the Situation at Hand along with being Impatient (especially with Technology) I failed again to connect all Three of Us as it were. All I was concentrating on was being able to Talk to this Mysterious Fuckwit No Matter What happened along the fucking way. I answered the Phone without Formerly Introducing Myself as I didn’t say anything like “This is Les Sober..” or “Hello I’m Les Sober…” I just launched right into His inquiry .

Les: Hello.

John:  I’m looking for the Owner of the Apartments in Camden Sc

(First John never said Hello and Second What was the Name of these Apartments? They should at least Go by their Address, but John wasn’t obviously one for Names nor Addresses).

Les: Thats Not Me.

John Repeating Himself: Oh I’m looking for the Owner of the Apartments in Camden Sc.

Les: Thats Not Me. I not who you’re looking for.

(Since he asked the same Question Twice in a fucking Row as if He was looking for some kind of Verification that I was not in fact the Owner of said Apartments. I saw an opening to continue this Adventure in the Absurd and took it.)

Les: Why are You asking

John: I’m a Multi Family Reality Management Investor. I’m looking into  Future Investment Property Prospects and Possibilities in the Camden Area.

(I’m pretty damn certain He made up the fucking Job title as its insanely Pretentious, Long Winded, and when You stop to think about it a second You realize how fucking nonsensical the Title is. Not to mention John was trying WAY TOO FUCKING HARD to sound like an Educated and Authentic Businessman. Can You say Overkill?!)

Les: Well that doesn’t mean a Damn thing to Me.

John: Thanks for at least calling Back.

Les: *Hangs Up without saying Anything*

           

Now for the Life of Me even with Spacedog’s vital assistance We still haven’t been able to figure out the Facts be They Legit or Fraudulent. I fully believe that this was some sort of Shady fucking Scam call, and wasn’t real in Any way Whatsoever. Spcaedog is sticking with His Hypothesis that John is a Real Deal Realtor of some kind Who is interested in Buying these Apartments, and that the current Owner had Died. Now if this was the case then John was cold calling People with the name Last Name, BUT My phone is Registered in another State, and I sure as Hell don’t live anywhere Near this Camden South Carolina that’s for fucking Sure. So again Why would John have contacted Me? Again I’m certain it was a Scam and that the Scammer was New or just plain sucked at His fucking Shitty “Job”. I believe the Apartment and Fake Job Title were meant to Peak My Interest into asking questions about such Reality Investments because everyone is looking for a an Easy Money Scheme.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober