Month: June 2020

May 16th:

The Members of Malice regained Consciousness on the Tour Bus with No Recollection whatsoever  of How They came to be on the Bus, But in Malice’s World it was a Common Occurrence. The Band’s Manager Harold Slickmann had simply had the Roadies Load the Band back onto the Bus just like with Their Instruments and Associated Gear. Somewhere   around the Second Pitcher of Bloody Mary’s the Bands Bassist Ook announced an Immediate Emergency Band Meeting along with the Band’s Guitarist Ick. At the Meeting Slickmann Spoke on Behalf of the Introverted Twins as He Felt it would make the Discussion Easier in the End.

Apparently Ick and Ook aka The Oaklund Brothers had always felt that in Fact they were Siamese Twins Trapped in to Separate Bodies. They had been feeling this way for some Time now, and wanted to Inform the Band that Based on Their Feelings the Brothers were Scheduled to have a Shady and Risky Elective Experimental Surgery. The Twins Flight to Puruvia which was the Only Country in the Entire World that Allowed the Controversial Procedure, and the Tour Bus was currently in Route to the Nearest International Airport.

           

Once there The Brothers would Fly 76 Hours Straight to Puruvia where Tomorrow (due the Insanity of International Time Zones) They would Undergo what was called a “Conjoinectomy”. A Conjoinectomy was a Fringe Science Surgery in which the Twins would be Attached Together so to Speak Transforming Them into Siamese Twins. The Brothers had Not Only Felt Severed from One another They also Believed They were Destined to be Siamese as well.

Since the Twins would thus be Conjoined The Brothers would Not be Returning to Join Malice, and Instead They would be going on Hiatus Indefinitely. Malice Dropped the Brothers off at the Roy “Boy” Baritone International Airport, Bid Them Farewell, and Hit The Road to Find The Oakerlund Brothers Replacements.

May 17th:

Malice pulled into Bangor Maine’s Arctic Circle Stadium so goddamn Early in the Morning the Band was still fucking Partying from the Night Before. After doing Endless Rails of 99.9% Pure Colombian Fish Scale Cocaine the Band was Amped to Audition Their New Guitarist and Bassist. The Band was a bit Dismayed to find out there were No Actual Auditions since this was a rather Last Minute Dilemma. So in Lou of Live Auditions Slickmann had Spent all Night Soliciting Previous Interested Parties as it were. The Band was so Tweaked on Cocaine They could barely Focus on the Task at Hand. Considering They didn’t feel the Need to Read through a Ton of Applicants Resumes decided instead to just Leave the Decision to Slickmann to Select Malice’s next Guitarist and Bassist for Them.

            

Slickmann didn’t mind this Idea as a matter of Fact He thought it utterly Delightful since there wouldn’t be any Bullshitting, Ego, Envy, Or Intoxicated Outbursts of Difference of Opinion to Deal with. Slickmann took the better part of an Hour peruse the Applications and Resumes alike and made His Selection of the Replacement Musicians. Slickmann reassembled the Band in the Stadiums Executive Suite to make the Announcement of the New Members. Slickmann told the Band that For Bassist He had chosen MC Satanic Semen who was a Prominent Member of Australia’s Underground Brutal Horrorcore Scene for the Last few Years with a Growing Cult Like Fan Base. MC Satanic Semen had played in Such Horrorcore Pioneering Bands such as Vicious Bollocks, Cunt Fart, Assgasm, Mangled Mangina, Asshat, Shitting Blood, Cumming Feces, and Fist Fucking Fuckers.

The Band thought bringing MC Satanic Semen was a inovative New Idea to keep the Band Evolving, and Rock Harder it turned out had collaborated with several Horrorcore/Brutal Horrorcore Musicians during His Career. Murphy also turned out to be a Fan of the Horrorcore Genre as well so Slickmann couldn’t have been Happier with the Results. Next Slickmann Unveiled His Guitarist Selection which was Dominick Disorder Who was a Prolific Grindcore Musician from Europe. Dominick had played in Bands such as Retarded Dildo, Shit Covered Cocks, Ice Pick Prostitute, Torture Maggot, Putrid Cunnilingus, NecroCunt, and Erotic Vomit. He had also done more Collaborations with other Grindcore Groups/Musicians with such names as Screaming Ejaculation, Fuck and You, Barbwire Cock Ring, Solo Shit, Bloody Bowel Syndrome, Shitting Soup, and Vaginal Vomit.

           

Again the Band thought this was a good Strategic Move since They had been reading a Variety of Articles on Them and They weren’t Happy with what They were Reading in the Least. The Consensus being Malice was Nothing more than a Dime a Dozen Party Band Who whole Musical Repertoire consisted of Songs about Drinking, Girls, Partying, and Sex. Malice had recently been compared to Several 1980’s Hair/Glam Bands like Montley Crew, Kiss, and Poison. Thus Malice was looking to Beef Up Their Reputation and Musical Street Cred and Hiring a Well Known Grindcore Guitarist along with a Prolific Horrorcore Bassist would definitely  make People Sit Up reconsider Their Opinion of the Band. Now with Their New Guitarist and Bassist in Tow Malice headed off to Sound Check.

May 18th:

That Nights Show was the Definition of Chaotic, but Luckily the Audience were Accepting of Dominick Disorder as the Band’s New Guitarist. Unfortunately the Sediment was Not the Same as Far as MC Satanic Semen was concerned. His primary issue was He was playing all the Malice Songs in  Horrorcore (which was an Interesting Idea) the Problem was He was the Only One in Malice doing so. The Conflicting sound didn’t sit well at all with the Increasingly Frustrated Audience. As the Set went on the Audience became increasing Combative as They started Yelling Insults, and Throwing all kinds of Shit onto the Stage (and at The Members of Malice Themselves).

              

Malice for Their part bobbed and weaved like Professional Boxers to Avoid being Hit while Still Playing at the Same Time. Finally after a Disastrous set Malice made Their way Directly from the Stage to Their Tour Bus as Fast as Fuck. The Fans were Confused and had grown Frustrated, and from the Frustration The Fans had grown Agitated to a Great Degree. As Security Stepped in to Help Evacuate the Premises before a Possible Riot Erupted. Needless to Say the Concert Promoters where Furious and Wanted Their Money Back. They claimed Malice had Failed in Their Performance Duties Resulting in Fans Demanding a Refund from the Promotor who wasn’t about to Lose Money on a Deal gone Sideways.

            

Luckily for Malice( since They were in the Process of Hiring a New Bassist and Guitarist) The Band’s Lawyer TR McCoy discovered a discrepancy in Malice’s Contract. The Discrepancy was the Band had never actually Signed the Contracts in Full, that is the New Members hadn’t signed the Contract in all the Chaos to get Ready for said Concert. Without all 5 Signatures the Contract was Rendered Null and Void. Malice Celebrated Their Dodging yet Another Bullet, and Partied Late into the Night Butt Chugging  Pol Roger Sir Winston Churchill Champagne which at the Time Retailed for $1,175 a Bottle.

May 19th:

Malice had the Day of on the Road since They had to Travel from Bangor Maine to the Village of Mound in Louisiana for the Next Show. The Main Topic on Everyones Mind was MC Satanic Semen’s impromptu Horrorcore Renditions of Malice Songs during a Live Show. The Band dressed Their Concerns with MC who for His Part of insanely Self Righteous and Far Beyond Defensive. His view was He was providing a New Innovation of Sorts, and it wasn’t His Fault that the Rest of the Band failed to Follow Suit. Malices argument was Obviously MC’s Stunt had Rattled Their Fans into Malice Almost Not Getting Pain for the Concert. Still the Fiasco would Undoubted Haunt Malice in Booking Future Shows as Promotors would Now consider Them a Higher Risk.

MC was Adamant that It wasn’t His fault but Malice’s for being so fucking Unoriginal They could see a Good Concept when it was Right in Front of Them. Malice’s Manager Harold Slickmann could see the Writing on the Wall from a Mile Away and MC had To Go Immediately. Slickmann then Talked to McCoy to see if there was any Legal Recourse the Band could take to End Their Affiliation with MC without creating a Shitshow. Again Malice managed to Dodge Yet Another Bullet since MC hadn’t signed the Contract using His Legal God Given Name (Which was Gilbert Melvin), and had opted to Sign the Band Contract which again Nullified the Contract letting Malice completely off the Hook. MC was informed of His Mistake when Signing the Contract and Thus He was Fired on the Spot.

MC was fucking Livid since He had just put His Musical Career (aka Other Musical Endeavors) to Play Solely with Malice, and Now He felt Cheated more or Less Out of His Money, Time, and Talent. So Enraged and Insulted by the Firing MC Started to Rant Uncontrollably airing Every Grievance He apparently ever Had most of Which had Absolutely Nothing to Due with Malice (Seriously He was Only in the Band just Short of 72 Hours Total). During His Rant MC strode over to a Toolbox that had been left by Accident on the Tour Bus by an Absent Minded Roadie/Jack of all Trades. MC removed a Large Drill from inside of the Toolbox and Calmly Plugged it In while Continuing His Ranting and Raving. Once the Drill had Power MC started incessantly Babbling about How if His Creativity was going to Be Stifled by Anyone it would BE Him and Him Alone. MC then Proceeded to Prove His point as it were by Lobotomizing Himself with the Drill. The Blood Splatter decorated the Bus so it looked more like a Slaughterhouse than a Tour Bus.

         

Malice decided the Best thing to due in this Scenarios was to Simply Drop the Freshly Lobotomized MC off at the Nearest Psychiatric Ward, and Then Hose out the Blood on the Bus. After They did as They had Planned Malice Hit the Road Again heading for Louisiana.

May 20th:

Malice’s Tour Bus rolled into the Village of Mound in Louisiana around 9am to find that Mound had No Hotel/Motels. In Fact there was a Whole Hell of a lot of Anything really. Malice quickly found out the Reason Why the Thing about Mound was the Population of Mound was Exactly 14 People (Who were all Relatives) Total. This didn’t Phase Malice as far as the Show was Concerned. They were met by Mound’s current Mayor Elisa Elder who escorted the Band to the rather Small Hand Built Stage Located behind the Old Hotel which had been Bought and Converted into a Private Residence. It just so Happened the Residents of the Old Hotel (Now referred to as The Hotel House) were Rabid Malice Super Fans and the Concert had been Their Idea. The Village had put it to a Vote and the Results were 11-2 in Favor of The Concert.

The Problem facing Malice/The Concert was Malice had just Dropped Their Last Bassist Off at a Psych Ward after He Lobotomized Himself to make a Point. As Lady Luck Smiled Upon the Band Once More a Young Man Named Eli Elder the Son of the Mayor was Big Malice Fan knowing each and Every Song Malice had Ever Done. Eli just so Happened to be a Bass Player without a Band so Malice had Eli sit in on Bass for that Evenings Show.

           

That Evening Malice took the Carpenter’s Special of a Stage and Played Their Entire 2 Hour Set followed by an Additional Hour of Encores. Malice ended up Staying in Mound overnight (which was Highly Unexpected considering Malice tended to be Higher Maintenance) as Guests in Various Residents Home until They Departed the Following Morning for Moscow Arkansas.

May 21st:

As Malice was on They’re way to Moscow Arkansas The Band’s Manager Harold Slickmann on the Phone Deperately trying to Aquire Yet another Bassist. Literally at the Last possible fucking Second Slickmann Contacted His Associate Walt Wheeler at AllStar Entertainment. As it Turned Out One of Wheeler’s Bands Dolphin Rape Cave He had Signed had just Broken Up unexpectedly  so He called up  DRC’s Bassist Oscar Illegal. Oscar as the case would be was Bored as Shit since His Band well Disbanded as it were, and He jumped at the Chance to Get back on the Road Touring. Malice passed the Phone around like a Bong each Member taking a minute or two to Chat with Oscar before Voting Unanimously to Bring Oscar on Board as the Band’s New New Bassist.

            

Slickmann scheduled a Private Plane to Pick Up Oscar and Fly Him to Louisiana ASAP. Once He reached the Airport Malice would swing on by and Pick Him Up in the Tour Bus before Heading to theat Night’s Gig. Slickmann’s Plan went off without a Hitch, and Malice was soon sitting Back Stage at the Alister Arena in Their Dressing Room preparing for Sound Check. After Sound Check Malice was Psyched by Ocscar’s Performance as He didn’t miss a single Note, and had one Hell of a Stage Pressence. To Avoid a predicament like the One in Bangor Maine Slickmann used every Minute at the Arena before the Show to Put up Promotional Posters promoting Oscar as the Band’s New Bassist Phenomenon. This was an Attempt to Build a Positive Response to Oscar Joining Malice, and to Distract from the Issue of Fans Nit Picking the Fact Oscar was Another New Bassist in the Mix.

            

The Ruse Worked and as Fans came Filing in for the Show They reacted very Positive pertaining to Oscar’s Arrival as the Newest Member of Malice. The Show was a Bonafide Success by Anyone’s Standards ending with a 16,000 Person Standing Ovation that Lasted 47 Minutes Straight. After the Guinness Worthy Standing Ovation Malice Treated the Audience to One Final Song Their first Ht Single “We’re Here Where’s The Beer!” which led to a Second Standing Ovation that Lasted just Over an Hour. Malice invited the Entire 16,000 Fans in Attendance to Join them for an After Concert Tail Gating Party in the Arena’s Vast Parking Lot. Malice Partied the rest of the Night Away with Their enthusiastic Fans Funneling Countless Beers and Snorting 2 Bottles of Adderall a Piece.

May 22nd:

For Legal Reason All Record of May 22nd’s “Activities” Fall Under a Non Discourse Agreement.

May 23rd:

Malice had the Day Off for some seriously Needed Serious R and R at The World Famous LuxurioUS Hotel Drummer Rock Harder being the Senior member of the Band Currently was Feeling Beat Up from all the Years of Partying Hard on the Road (As well a sin General to be Honest). He kept complaining about How He Felt like Mick Mars in Motley Crue. This was alluding to the Fact Mick Mars being significantly Older than the Other Members of the Crue. So Rock decided to spend the Day off Having a Facelift, and Made an Appointment for Later that Afternoon at The Prestigious Alexander Vanity Plastic Surgery Center.

Oscar Illegal still Amped from ingestion an Entire Bottle of Adderall 2 Nights ago decided that He would take Rest to a New Level by Sleeping for the Entire Rest of the Day (which was approximately 22 Hours at that Point), and to do So He’d have to counter act the Adderall First and Foremost. Oscar came to the Conclusion the Best course of Action would be Injecting Enough Heroin to Legitimately Kill a fucking Circus Elephant.

            

Guitarist Dominick “Dom” Disorder Lounged by the Pool downing Singapore Sling like He had Two Hollow Legs. It was One after the Other in a Continuous Line of Unending Cocktails from Sun Up to Sunset. Other than Tempting Fate with a Case of Alcohol Poisoning Dom spent the Leisurely Day trying to get Laid. Normally a Famous Musician would be Swarmed by Groupies, Yet Dominick was Also a rather recent Addition to Malice. For that Reason the Groupies Didn’t Associate Him with the Band.

Lead Singer Murphy “Thunderbolt” Gibbons had a Private Physician come to the Hotel for a Medical Procedure. Murphy had the Physician Scrape His Vocal Cords, Well Clean them might be a Better way of Putting it. Since Murphy Smoked 2 Packs of Black Lung Cigarettes, Drank Whiskey like a Fish, and had a Penchant for Partying with Hardcore Street Drugs His Vocal Cords were Encased in Ton of Toxic and Corrosive Crap. After the Scraping/Cleaning the Physician Shot Murphy’s Vocal Cords with a Heavy Dose of Anabolic Steroids, Human Growth Hormones, and Humming Bird Blood. Once the Procedure was Done Murphy Spent the rest of the Day Staring t the Static on the TV in His Room Doped Up on Painkillers and Still quite woozy from the Anesthesia.

              

May 24th:

As Malice Piled off of Their Tour Bus at the AmpaStar Amphitheater in Mississippi They ran into Their Opening Act Carnivore. The Two Bands Stopped for a While to Bullshit and Drink Beer Backstage. They Two Bands got along Famously which was Rare for Malice since They could be Extremely Standoffish, Judgmental, Stubborn, and Pig Headed. They Two Bands were having such a Great time just hanging the fuck Out Killing Beers They forgot They were there to put on a Show. The Members of Malice and Carnivore were Actually Slapped Back to Reality by Malice’s Manager Harold Slickmann Who Carried a Heavy Pimp Hand.

The Show was a Unmitigated Success that End with all the Members of Both Bands on Stage playing Various Covers requested by the Audience. Unfortunately the Crowd worked Themselves not a Frenzy and started setting off a Small Arsenal of Fireworks. This Pissed off the Promoter to No End as He worried about Property Damage and Fires ravaging His Precious Amphitheater. On Top of that The Police were None to Happy Either about the Situation to say the Least. All the Smoke, Flashing Lights, and Additional Noise made it damn Near Impossible for the Police to Actually Police the Crowd of Overly Exuberant Fans.

            

Alls well that Ends Well and Once the Show was Over No One had been Injured, The Amphitheater was still Standing (and in good shape all things considered), and No One was Arrested.

May 25th:

Malice was due to Play a Sold Out Show at the Mississippi Motorway, but where Forced to Cancel due to Circumstances Beyond Their Control. What Happened was while en route to the Motorway Malice had been Taking Massive Bong Rips of a Incredibly Potent Strain of Marijuana called “Zombiefier”. The Weed got its name because of its Insanely High THC Percentage (97.9%) Smoking it Resulted in the Smoker becoming So Stoned it felt as if They had become an Actual fucking Zombie.

It was Rock’s Turn and He Inhaled a Lung Exploding Cloud of Smoke which Upon Exhalation caused Him to Start Coughing like Crazy. The Problem was Rock was still Recovering from His Recent Facelift and all of the Gut Wrenching Coughs Aggravated His Stitches. It got so Bad that the Post Bong Hit Cough caused Rock’s Surgical Stitches to Pop unbeknownst to Rock and the Rest of the Band. Finally Rock’s Rib Cracking coughing resulted in Rock’s Face to Slip off onto the Floor of the Bus.

           

The Band’s Manager Harold Slickmann Instantly Jumped into Action and Took Hold of the Situation. He snatched Rock’s Now Disembodied Face up off the Bus Floor and Stuffed it Tightly Between a Couple of Beers in Malice’s Cooler. Thanks to the Weed Rock was far too High to Freak the fuck out over having No Face as it were, and Kept Him Calm keeping Rock from going into Shock. Slickmann Rifled through a Copy of the Yellow Pages until He located the Nearest Hospital and gave the Driver the Directions. The Driver put the Peddle to the Metal and within mere Minutes Malice’s Tour Bus was pulling up in front of the D. Rockefeller Hospital’s Emergency Room. Rock was hurried directly into Surgery and Thanks to Slickmann’s quick thinking Rock’s Face was able to be Reattached without Issue.

May 26th:

Since Rock’s Face would Need to Heal Malice decided to do Something Unorthodox and completely Unconventional. Malice came to the Conclusion that They should put the American Leg of Their Tour on Hold, and Travel to Australia which was the First Destination on the World Tour. Then once Rock had Healed Properly, and The World Tour was Over Malice would Return to the Untied States at Which Time They would Complete The Remainder of the Shows in America. This way Rock could Recoup while the Band managed to still Stay on Tour without Interuption or Issue.

            

Slickmann approved of the Idea and got the Band’s Lawyer TR McCoy to Start working on Amending the Contracts as well as contacting Promoters. Slickmann came up with the Idea that to Accommodate the Fans who would have to Now Wait for the Rescheduled Concert Dates by Giving Them Free Merchandise as way of a Consolation Prize for the Inconvenience. The Way Slickmann pulled this off put out a Press Release informing the Public of the New Abbreviated Tour Schedule, and that Every Fan who attended a Rescheduled Show would Receive a Free Malice T-Shirt and a Free Beer.

Then Slickmann called the Up In The Air Private Jet Company to Reserve a Private Plane for Malice’s Trip to Australia. Since the Sudden Schedule Change Malice’s Own Private Jet was still sitting at Aero Plane’s Private Jet Hanger in California which was the Original Location for Malice’s World Tour Departure. Slickmann Booked the Biggest Private Jet there was a 747-8i Boeing Business Jet.

           

May 27th:

Malice Loaded onto the 747-8i at 8pm with Great Gusto and Enthusiasm since They had Offered Carnivore to be Their Opening Act for the Remainder of the Tour. Of Course Carnivore was more than Happy to Sign on the Tour and Met up with Malice at Mississippi’s Greenville Airport. The Two Groups were more then Pleased to be back in Each Others Company, and Boarded the Plane and got Straight to Partying. There were Silver Platters Piled High with Obscene amounts of Cocaine, the was Alcohol Flowing Freely, and Carnivore had brought along a Quarter Pound of Fresh Magic Mushrooms (Shrooms). The Band Members Got High, Got Drunk, and Got Laid having brought an Entourage of Female Groupies along with Them.

Meanwhile Harold Slickmann and TR McCoy worked on Formulating the Best Strategy to turn the Current Chaos into a Money Making Machine.

           

May 28th:

Since the Flight From Greenville Mississippi took a Whopping 40 Hours and  Malice and Carnivore continued Partying Hard during the Entire Flight to Australia.

May 29th:

Malice arrived at Australia’s Brisbane Airport at roughly at Noon looking like Day Old Cadavers having Partied to the Point of Delirium. Slickmann had anticipated the Band’s Partying combined with a Hell of a Case of Jet Lag (having Flown half way around the World) and Hadn’t scheduled a Show for that Evening. Malice made a B Line to The Westin Brisbane Hotel where They would be Staying post Haste.

Once at the Hotel The Band’s crashed due to Drug/Alcohol Fueled Exhaustion. By 9 pm most of the Band Members had regained conciseness and started compiling a $57,683 Room Service Bill in Food, Drink, and Additional Services like Massages for Example. By Midnight the Band Members had Assembled on the Roof of the Hotel to Finish off the Shrooms Carnivore had Brought and Stare out Over The City of Brisbane until the Sun came up the Following Morning.

           

The Band met for Breakfast and to discuss Their Schedule with Their Manager Harold Slickmann Over Eggs Benedict and Bloody Mary’s. After Their Breakfast Pow Wow Malice was in the Best Spirits They had been in for a Very Long Time. It Seemed having Carnivore on the Tour had Revitalized Malice breathing New Life into the Band’s Lungs. The Two Bands spent Their Down Time before that Night’s Show getting 8 hour Non Stop Massages of all Kinds Deep Tissue, Shiatsu You Name it They got it Happy Ending and All.

At 6:30 Malice and Carnivore Hopped on Their Tour Bus and drove to that Nights Venue The Munted Civic Center and headed straight into Sound Check. The Audience was whipped into a Frenzy by the Time Carnivore had finished Their Set and Malice Took the Stage. They Opened with Their Classic Party Anthem “Party Till You Puke” ,and Finished with Their Epic Sing-a-Long to Their Hit Single “Keg Stand” to the Delight of the Australian Audience. Malice Spent the Next Several Hours Signing Autographs during a After Show Meet and Greet of Sorts. Malice fell in Love Instantly with Their Loyal and Supportive Australian Fans while Bonding Over Countless Cases of Foster’s.

           

May 30th:

The Bands left Brisbane heading for Logan City Australia for Their Next Show, but having Arrived Early had some time on Their Hands. Since Logan City was relatively close to the Coast The Bands decided to take a Day Trip to the Ocean Shores 90 Minutes Away. This would turn out to be a Major Mistake on Malice’s Part.

Once They had reached Ocean Shores The Band Members hightailed onto the Beach for a Little Fun in the Sun as the Saying Goes. After Eating an Exorbitant amount of Sushi (mainly Ahi Tuna) Carnivores Lead Guitarist Monty Mungman went for a Quick Dip in the Ocean. What Monty had been unaware of is Australia is Home to Great White Sharks, and who Immediately Locked on the Smell of Tuna that was emanating off off Monty’s Hands. Before Monty even knew what Happened a Great White came hurdling up from the Depths and Bite Down on Monty’s Mid section as it Burst from the Water like a Freight Train. Monty was especially thin due to His Outrageous Drug Use which allowed The Great White to Bite Him in Half. Monty’s Lower Body disappeared between the Shark’s Gaping Jaws and Monty’s Top Half Surging with Adrenaline attempted to Swim to Shore. Monty’s Torso didn’t make it more than 10 feet Before it To was Devoured by another Inquiring Great White.

            

Carnivores Drummer Tommy Snare dove into the Water in a Valiant Attempt to Rescue Monty only to have His Right Leg Ripped Off by yet Another Great White for His Trouble. The Life Guards and Paramedics Stormed down the Beach to the Water ready for fucking War. Snare somehow made it back to Shore minus His Leg and was Being Tended To By The Paramedics as the Lifeguards set about scavenging the Left Over Pieces of Monty’s that were Periodically Washing Ashore.

That Evening instead of putting on a Show that evening  the Bands held an Press Conference to Announce the Tragic and Untimely Death of Monty and the Subsequent Injury to Snare. Carnivore for They’re Part of the Tour as Tommy could still Drum with a Prosthetic Leg, and Monty could and would be Replaced as Carnivore insisted the Show Must Go On Regardless.

            

May 31st:

While Carnivore Auditioned a Replacement Lead Guitarist and Their Drummer Tommy was fitted for a Prosthetic Leg things weren’t faring to Well for Malice.

Yesterday during Their Day at the Beach Prior to the Great White Incident Malice Drummer Rock Harder had fallen Asleep in the Sun. Being a Rock Star Rock had forgone Sunscreen figuring Whats the Point anyways He’d be dead of an Overdose before Skin Cancer could Kill Him. Sadly for Rock His Current Reattaching of His Face hadn’t completely Healed, and the Brutal Australian Sun had Sun Burned the Holy Hell Out of Rock’s Face to the Point of Blistering.

           

Slickmann took Rock to the Nearest Plastic Surgeon for an Emergency Consult for His Sun Ravaged Face. The Prognosis was Grim Rock would have to be Flown to a Specialist in Switzerland to undergo a Entire Face Transplant due to the Extensive Sun Damage. Slickmann took Rock back to the Airport and had Him Flown to Switzerland on the Private Jet He had Rented for the Trip. Rock following in the Footsteps of Carnivore Swore to the Gods of Rock’n Roll that He’d return in No Time good as fucking New with His New Face.

Stay Tuned for the Next Insanity Ridden Installment of……

MALICE THE BAND THAT ALMOST KILLED US ALL!

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober (Pt109AmTFS)