Welcome to the Official Return of Short Horror Film Friday featuring Tuck Me In Double Feature. First We have the Original 2014 Version of Tuck Me In Directed by Ignacio Rodo followed by the Remake Tribute Tuck Me In By Homemade Horror. Now there is a Reason for This Double Billing if You Will which is Both Versions have a Minuscule Running time of just 60 Seconds. With such an Extremely Exceptional One Minute running Time Tuck Me In may very well be the First Micro Horror Movie ever made.
The Term Micro Horror is a Nod to one of the Unique Aspects of the Grindcore Music Genre: the Micro Song. There’re Songs by Grindcore Bands (Such as Anal Cunt, Insect Warfare, SCAT, Pig Destroyer, Brutal Truth, and Nuclear Assault for example) that are Only Seconds in Length. In Fact the British Grindcore/Death Metal Band Napalm Death hold the Guinness World Record for the Shortest Song ever Recorded with the Their One Second “You Suffer”.
Tuck Me In reminds Me of the The World’s Shortest Horror Story ever written by Fredric Brown Titled Knock that consists of only Two Sentences:
“The Shortest Horror Story:
The Last an On Earth sat Alone in a Room. There was a Knock o the Door.”
You See Fredric Brown’s Knock, Grindcore’s Micro Songs, and Micro Horror Films (and Traditional Short Films) are Proof beyond All that You Don’t need to Write a 300 Page Book, Record an Album of 12 Minute Songs, or Film a 6 Hour Movie to produce Viable Product. Artists have the Newer found Freedom to Essentially tell the Audience “Here is My Art and I’m going to keep it Short, Simple, Focused, and to the Point.”
Now On with the Show. Enjoy.
The 2014 Original Version of Tuck Me in Directed By Ignacio Rodo.
The Remake Tribute to Tuck Me In By Homemade Horror
Homemade Horror had this to Say about Their take on Tuck Me In:
“Bedtime doesn’t go as planned in this short horror film with a twist. This is a remake and tribute to Tuck Me In, one of the best short horror films I’ve ever seen. We put a little twist in the end to make it our own. It was done in a day with an iPhone, iMovie, and simple original score using a keyboard. Lots of fun. Cheers!”
Enjoy.
We Hope You Enjoyed This One Minute of Madness as Much as We Did.
While Humans have Five different senses (Sight, Smell, Touch, Taste, and Hearing) Yet Ninety Percent of all of the Information We learn/observe from the World Around Us comes Solely from Sight. Considering this it’s Safe to Say Life is all a Matter of Perspective. The Definition of Perspective is as Follows: Perspective: A Particular Attitude Towards or Way of Regarding Something; A Point of View. What People believe to be Good, Bad, or Indifferent is just a matter of Their personal perspective pertaining to the Subject at Hand.
For all Intents and Purposes We will use the Subject of “Tipping” to serve as Our Example on the Subject of Perspective. A Tip is Defined as : A Tip of Gratuity is an Extra Sum of Money Paid to Certain Services Workers for a Provided Service. Tip Amounts, as well as Acceptance, Vary in Different Parts of the World. In Some Countries in East Asia such as Japan, Tips are seen as Insulting and can Sometimes be Interpreted as a Bribe.
As We can see Even the Definition or the Concept of Tipping is a Matter of Perspective. In Countries like America Gratuity is taken for Granted as being just a part of Utilizing certain Services (Example: Tipping a Waiter, Uber Driver, or Pizza Delivery Man Etc). Meanwhile in Japan Tips aren’t considered Compensation for a Job Well Done by the Employee. In Japan Gratuity is in fact Perceived Negatively as a Bribe so Straight away We have a Prime Example of a Difference in Perspectives.
Many People Perceive Tipping as a Positive Incentive for Employees in the Service Industry to Provide Acceptional Service to and for Their Customers. An Extremely Similar Positive Perspective is Tipping is a way of Rewarding Someone as a Sign of Appreciation for a Job Well Done. An Incentive is Defined as: Incentive: A Thing that Motivates or Encourages One to do Something. Also People who are in Favor of the Tipping System tend to Tip more than Average as a Way of Attempting to Secure Exceptional Service in the Future. It’s simply Applying the Pavlovian Conditioning (See Pavlov’s Dog) to Human Beings instead of Canines. What We Mean is by Repeatedly Tipping People Well the Consumer is trying to Illicit a Conditioned Response from the Employee. The Consumer wants the Employee to Realize that They Tip Well so that the Employee providing Them Service will Automatically do a Superior Job, and this is because the Workers Know You’re a Big Tipper thus providing an Incentive for Them to Provide Good Service. This is Absolutely No Different than Your Basic Reward System for Positively Reenforcing a Certain Desired Behavior (Example Toilet Training a Child, When They Use the Toilet Properly They are Rewarded, Same Tactics are used in Training Dogs as well).
Meanwhile on the Other End of the Perspective Spectrum a Tipping it is Perceived as a Negative System based on Bribery. First the Word Bribe is Defined as: Bribe: Persuade (Someone) to Act in one’s Favor, Typically Illegally or Dishonestly, bu a Gift of Money or Other Inducement. The Opposite Perspective is a Tip is Not an incentive for Someone to Perform Their Job Duties, but a Self Centered Bribe You offer Someone to Insure Good Service for Yourself Alone. It’s the Old Cliche of a Person getting into a Taxi and Saying “I’m in a real rush so if You can Hurry (aka if You Speed and possibly Violate some Traffic Laws) and Get Me to My Destination as Fast as You Possibly can Theres a Big Tip in it For You.” This is an Incentive its just a Negative Incentive. Its Financial Motivation for an Employee to Bend or Break Company Rules, Certain Applicable Laws, or in Some other Nefariously Way Insure the Employee disregards Protocol to Provide the Specific Service a Particular Customer Desires. Bottomline its the Age Old Adage “IF You scratch My Back THEN I’ll scratch Yours.” or Simply Put “IF You Do Something For ME, and I’ll do Something for You in Return” which is the Definition of a Bribe.
So in the End We can See that Our Lives Our Likes, Dislikes, Loves, Hates, Opinions, and Judgments are all Based on Our own Personal Perspectives. How We see the Situation dictates How We respond to it or How You Think about a particular Subject be it Positive or Negative in Nature. Your Perspective whatever it may be Dictates Your Perceptions of The World and People Around You at any given Time in Your Life. Having a Vast Variety of Varying Perspectives Not only Challenges, but Demands that We think for Ourselves and Ignore Outside Influences for Once. While We are a Society as a Whole Our Society is made up of Millions of Different People and They’re Different Perspectives We are Not a Collective comprised of Mindless Clones.
First and Foremost this is NOT a Chronicling of Jim Jones or Jonestown. This Post serves as a Focus on just One of the Multitude of Facts, People, and Events surrounding Jonestown Massacre. If You’re Curious to Know/Learn more on the Subject We suggest Hitting up Ye Old Google for all the Gritty Details.
Here is the Most Basic of Backstories:
Jim Jones started a Cult in America called The People’s Temple that promoted Global Peace and Unity among all of Humanity. To Escape the Probing Eye of the American Government, Concerned Family Members Outside of the Cult, and Other Various Detractors Jones moved the Cult to Guyana (a Country on South America’s North Atlantic Coast). Once in Guyana Jones and His Followers commenced Building Jonestown which would be a Earthly Utopia Free from the Malevolent Evils of the War. Just like Drugs Jonestown was a Beautiful Place to Live and All was right with the World. As time passed things in Jonestown took a Dark and Ultimately Deadly Turn.
As Time Passed the Cults Detractors stayed Diligent in Their Attempt to either Rescue Members of the Cult and take them to Safety or to Shut Down Jonestown and take Jones into Police Custody. A Group consisting of Concerned Family of Cult Members, Cult Defectors, and Congressman Ryan Lee calling Themselves ‘Concerned Relatives” started Petitioning Politicians and Actively Engaging the Press for Help and Assistance in Their Mission. Finally the Group flew to Guyana to Visit Jonestown in Person to asses the Allegations of Sub Standard Living Conditions, Mental and Physical Abuse of Cult Members, and Accusations of Human Rights Violations by Reverend James Warren Jones.
The Trip was Tense and Ended with Jones Men Ambushing Ryan, the “Concerned Relatives”, and More Defectors from The People’s Temple at an Airstrip Killing Ryan along with NBC Cameraman Bob Brown, Temple Defector Patrica Parks, and Examiner Photographer Greg Robinson. In Addition to the Four Murders Nine other Members of the Group were Injured. The Attack would End Up being the Final Nail in the Jonestown Coffin.
THE DEATH TAPE: Is a 44 Minute Cassette Tape known as the “Death Tape”. It’s a Recording made on November 18, 1978, at The People’s Temple Compound in Jonestown, Guyana, Immediately Preceding and During the Mass Suicide or Murder of The People’s Temple Followers. When it was All Said and Done 918 Cult Members Men, Women, and Children Died either by by Poisoning or Gunshot. On the Tape You Hear Jones urge Cult Members to Commit what He refers to as Revolutionary Suicide:
“You can Go Down in History Saying You Chose Your Own Way to Go, and it’s Your Commitment to Refuse Capitalism and in Support of Socialism.”
The Poison was the Primary Method used in the Mass Suicide served to the Cult Members in a Flavored Beverage. The Beverage was Laced with Potassium Cyanide. The People’s Temple received 1/2 Pound Shipments of Cyanide every Month since 1976 when Jones acquired a Jeweler’s License (Cyanide is Reportedly cleans Gold). The Crowd was Surrounded by Armed Guards, Offering the Cult Members the Basic Dilemma of Dying by Poison or being Shot by the Guards. As it were Not All Cult Members Drank the Poison willingly as Some were Forced to Drink it at Gun Point, and Some Unknowingly such as the Children. The Poison took Five Minutes to Kill the Children, Less than Five Minutes for Babies, and Twenty to Thirty Minutes for Adults. As for Jones Himself He committed Suicide via a Gunshot to His Right Temple.
Escaped People’s Temple member Odell Rhodes was there that Fateful Day Described the Scene of Both Hysteria and Confusion as Parents watched Their Children Die from the Poison (Jones says on the Tape “Don’t let Your Children Know They are Dying”). Rhodes also Stated the most Present Cult Members “Quietly waited Their Own Turn to Die.” and that many of the Cult Members “Walked Around like They were in a Trance.”
Reasons For Jones Ordering the Mass Suicide:
Jones’s Mental Health was Declining.
Jones was becoming increasing Paranoid about the American Government (as well as Others) Conspiring /Plotting on How to Personally Destroy Him.
Jones had become Convinced the CIA and Other Government Intelligence Agencies were Conspiring with “Capitalist Pigs” to Destroy Jonestown and Harm Him and His Followers.
Jones was supposedly Suffering from Insomnia sometimes going Three to Four Days without Sleeping.
Jones Believed All Was Lost as His Mission to Build a Perfect Society Free from all Negativity was an Utter Failure.
Jones had just Ordered the Deadly Attack on Congressman Ryan and His Delegates earlier that Day leaving Several Dead and Injured. He Knew Retaliation for the Murders was be Inevitable since Sooner or Later someone would come Looking for Ryan and the Others.
Jones believed that the Children of Jonestown were going to be Captured by The American Government, and Extradited back to America where They would be Turned into Fascists.
Jones was at this Point was a Full Blown Drug Addict addicted to Injectable Valium, Quaaludes, Stimulants, and Barbiturates (Any Class of Sedative or Sleep Inducing Drug).
In Response to Seeing the Poison Take Effect Jones Counseled His Members Saying:
“Die with a Degree of Dignity; Don’t Lay Down with Tears and Agony.”
(Note: The Cries and Screams of Children and Adults are easily heard on the Tape Recording.)
And
“I Tell You, I Don’t Care how many Screams You Hear I Don’t Care how many Anguished Cries…Death is a Million times Preferable to Ten More Days of This Life. If You Knew what was ahead of You- If You Knew what was ahead of You, You’d be Glad to be Stepping Over Tonight.”
We are Thrilled to bring You “Immortal Machine”the Third of Three NEW EPISODES (that was Posted just 13 hours prior to this Post) in the Apocalyptic Dystopian Animated Short Film Series By Scottish Writer, Director, Sculpture, Painter, Artist, and Animator David James Armsby. The Short Film Series (which Ended in 2018 and was Revived in 2020) takes place in the Sci Fi Post Apocalyptic Town Known as Autodale where the Citizens are Anything but Normal.
In The Artist’s Own Words:
“You think you understand? All the lies? All the needless atrocities?… No. There is reason, and I want to show you…” Deep in the heart of Autodale lives their Mayor. As old as the town itself, a once great inventor, now a gangly and decaying but undying thing which the townsfolk have long forgotten, but continue to echo his machine-obsessed beliefs. This film follows Autodale’s Exceptional Woman as she journey’s deep down the rabbit hole of the Mayor’s Immortal Machine.
This film was one of the most challenging and taxing projects of my life. The film covers a subject matter that is extremely difficult to pull off from an artistic and technical standpoint. Nothing about the setting, characters or structure of this film was easy to do. That’s actually the reason I’ve put off tackling the heart of Autodale and the Matriarch for so long. I knew to pull it off successfully would require a tremendous amount of time, effort and artistic know-how which I didn’t feel confident I could do. It wasn’t until after finishing my previous and longest animated short film, “Friendly Shadow”, that I finally felt that I was at the skill level required for this gigantic project. I’m not in love with all of it, but overall I think it definitely succeeded. This film is extremely ambitious and grand and I’m extremely proud of the result. I really hope you guys like it too! :D”
There are many types of strange and disturbing things lurking from here to the four corners of the Earth. While I am a fan of Horror I am especially fond of Asian Horror in particular, and while the gory Asian movies with all the over the top geysers of spurting blood, decapitations, mutilations , and severed limbs are good for a laugh I prefer the creepier fair. I perter the more psychological of the Asian horror genre. I like the movies that really lingers inside your head like a dense fog that refuses to dissipate.
This is why one of the less popular pieces we did called Permanent Trip is a personal favorite of mine because it has that underlying uneasiness to it. The other day while I was wondering like a lost soul around the digital void of the internet.I was hunting for a intriguing rabbit hole to jump into with reckless abandon when something dark and extremely morbid. What I found was a gentleman named Dave who went by the user name Leathersmokemi.
The first thing that caught my immediate attention was the Dave’s manner of dress which reminded me of the heavy metal band of yesteryear Judas Priest. The second thing I noticed was Dave prolifically posted a total of 229 videos in a five year time span without taking any time off. The theme of of Dave’s Videos showcase Dave smoking cigarettes/cigars/Both at the same. Dave also demonstrates his new and inventive ways to smoke tobacco products (for example he concocted and created a modified gas mask so that he could smoke half a pack of cigarettes all at once).
As I waded through Leathersmokemi’s library of videos it started to go from strange too disturbing. Though he is amply aware of the toxic and deadly effects of smoking tobacco he chooses to gladly and defiantly disregard the health consequences know full well what grim fate lays in store for him. As you can imagine watching Dave’s health steady decline over the course of the videos is like watching a prolonged five year suicide. Its brutally unforgiving as Dave’s body is ravaged by his extreme smoking obsession. You follow a man who in the beginning looks like a big burly biker and ends as a withered, sickly, and skeletal looking slouched down in a wheel chair.
I selected five of Leathersmokemi’s videos for comparison purposes. Two of the videos are from the beginning of the series when Dave is at his healthiest considering he’s a avid smoking enthusiast of epic proportions. The Third video is from the around the midway point approximately two and a half years in. The fourth video is from the final leg of Dave’s imitate demise. The fifth video is the last video Leathersmoki ever posted before his death due to the cancer caused by his obsessive and chronic love of tobacco.
The painfully obvious question is why would someone chronicle last five years of their life as a smoker? What could be the possible motivation? Is this just an eccentric man in love with the art of self destruction?
IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING THE FIFTH VIDEO WILL BE THE EXPLANATION OF HOW SERIOUSLY SICK AND TWISTED THIS STORY IS ONCE YOU SCRATCH THE SURFACE.
Video 189.wmv Description: My return after cancer surgery.
Video title- still here still smoking (Last Video Posted before Death).
The Answer can be found in the comment sections of Leathersmokemi’s videos. Leathersmokemi’s Videos are a extremely hardcore version of a more traditional smoking fetish. While a smoking fetish is far from anything new this version is takes it to a very dark and unspeakable place. The usual smoking fetish fair is a person dressed provocatively slowly smoking a single cigarette while flirting with the camera, and is quite innocent in nature (much like burlesque shows for example).
When I started perusing deeper into the comments section of Lethersmokemi’s videos something sinister suddenly became horribly clear. All of the comments from his fans were hyper sexualizing the detrimental effects of smoking. Their fetish wasn’t focused on a person smoking a cigarette it was solely based on the detrimental health effects from the person smoking cigarettes/cigars. They seemed to enjoy and request to hear Leathersmokemi Cough, wheeze, and his progressively strained raspy breathing. Leathersmokemi to his credit did indulge his fans and recored certain videos dedicated to certain fans.
Leathersmokemi’s small but fanatical followers were getting sexual aroused by the sound(s) of Leathersmokmi’s progressing respiratory distress. His Fans enjoyed Leathersmokimi’s physical deterioration as it was being consumed by Cancer with increasing dire delight as Leathersmokemi’s health declined. The closer he progressed towards his inevitable death the more frenzied his fans became. The sickly sounds appeared to Heighten their level of arousal. Their unofficial motto it seemed to be “The sicker the sexier”. Leathersmokemi’s fans dedicated to his deadly and prolonged process got heightened sexual simulation from hyper sexualizing the illnesses associated with smoking tobacco. They reveled without remorse in the detromental health effects upon a the human body. As far as I am concerned this is vast collection of Fetishized snuff videos.
You don’t have to believe us because directly below are two separate testimonial videos where Dave addresses what kind of person he is, what he like, sexual preference, His various Jobs, and his extremely obsessive smoking fetish.
Justin here and as you may imagine we here at the FYB have been hyper focused like surgical fucking laser on the current states of affaires here in America. I for one am so sick of this shit I really, really fucking am. We had to wait 4 way to long years to vote out dictator wannabe and world class dipshit dumbfuck trump (if your wondering I am not capitalizing his name as a sign of the utmost disrespect). Then we had to wait several days each seeming to last for fucking EVER to get confirmation. We stupidly thought we could take 5 and catch our collective breath, but hell fucking no dickhead donnie won’t get the fuck out of the Whitehouse like a psychotic squatter.
Then on the January 6th all hell broke loose like a record setting shitquake that would snap the Richter scale like a chickens neck and we are still suffering the aftershocks now. We now have a virtual 5 day eternity until January 20th when We will have a chance to sort this category 5 shitnado out. For that reason you have probably noticed posting has been erratic as fuck recently. We appreciate you hanging in there with us through these growing pains.
Anyway I didn’t want to show up to the party empty handed so here’s some info from behind the FYB curtain. As part of restructuring for here at good old FYB in 2021 Les decided to delegate some of the writing for FYB’s long neglected ongoing pieces. So here’s a list of who is doing what now.
Les will continue writing Malice: the band the almost killed us all and Another Day Down At The Cock’n Balls. Basically these are all Les’s babies so in the custody battle we let him keep two.
Otto will now be responsible for writing The Deviant Detective and The Boy and The Bridge.Heads up folks with Otto at helm of DD it is going to get dark as hell fast as fuck that’s for sure. As for BTB Otto’s insane obsession with the occult, demons, devils, supernatural, and all that crazy shit will give it a whole new perspective (I’m also convinced that Otto’s version of The Boy and The Bridge is his fucking autobiography).
As for myself I will be in charge of writing Lollypop Chainsaw and Lee Johnitis: Professional People Watcher. As for my plans for these 2 pieces is to crank up the crazy factor to fucking 5,000 and let the stories run wild. You all now have front fucking tickets front row and center at the Theater of the Absurd. You’re welcome.
We collectively will continue to work together on the so called miscellaneous shit like TV Shows, Animation, Tidbits For Shits and Giggles, Cartoons, Musical shit, and Salute To Eccentrics, Strange and Disturbing Videos, Movies, and Dark Web Videos etc. etc.
We plan on reviving Short Horror Film Friday and Saturday Slasher Cinema in the near future. We also be posting additional movies as too so there that too.
I’m a massive fan of the early Ozzy led Black Sabbath, but when I heard the Heavy/ Doom Metal band Pentagram I was awe struck. In my honest and vastly unpopular opinion that Pentagram exceeds Black Sabbath not in lyrical content but in Advanced Musical Techniques/Style of the Doom Metal. Pentagram’s music was more evolved than Black Sabbath even if both bands got their start around the same time. Based on my opinion I fully believe Pentagram and not Black Sabbath should receive the dubious honor of being the first pioneers of Heavy Metal (because without the precursor of Doom Metal then the Heavy Metal genre wouldn’t have come to be).
Last Days Here is the 2011 Documentary film featuring Bobby Liebling, lead singer of the American heavy metal band Pentagram Directed by Don Argott and Demian Fenton.
Pentagram- Last Days Here Synopsis:
Co-Director Fenton first became familiar with Liebling after listening to Pentagram’s 1970s recordings on cassette tape and the 2001 compilation First Daze Here, and enjoying the early Pentagram material. He had heard the rumors surrounding Liebling, including him living in the basement of his parent’s house and spending all day and night heavily ingesting illegal drugs.
Last Days Here follows Bobby Liebling, lead singer of Pentagram, an Alexandria, Virgina-based heavy metal group founded in 1971 and active sporadically throughout the following four decades. At the film’s beginning , Liebling is in his 50s, living in Squalor in his parents’ basement, and addicted to various drugs (Pills, Heroin, and Crack). After Pentagram’s music is rediscovered by the heavy metal underground scene, Liebling begins to recover from his lifestyle. His friend and manager Sean “Pellet” Pelletier attempts to help Liebling overcome his drug addiction and escape his old life. The film ends in 2010 with Liebling and Pentagram returning to the stage and Liebling sober, married and his new wife expecting their first child.
With all of the Chaotic Bullshit in the Mass Media and Social Media with Lies, Misinformation, and just Plain Fake News getting Accurate Information has become Increasingly Hard to Find.
So We decided Everyone needed a Break from the Psychotic News Cycle, and Here is Some News We All Can Enjoy. This is The News Hasn’t Happened Yet #3: UP by One of Our Absolute Favorite Animators of All Time Mr. David Firth.
For those of You Who do Not Know or May Not Be Aware David Firth is an English Animator, Director, Writer, Musician, Actor, Voice Actor, Video Artist, and Broadcaster of Whom We are a Big Fan of Here at FYB. Several of Firth’s works in Flash Animation, along with Multiple Music Videos and Works of Video Art, have Garnered a Large Followings.
Enjoy.
David Firth in His Own Words:
“Trying to make sense of the news. Hello my name is David Firth The news won’t happen. The rotting newscorpse. We make the news. he news exploded. Big bits in a bag of newspiss. Bits of buggery newsy shit that nobody news about. When no one news. No one could nevernews spilling the news it’s a factbomb or truthbomb not lying news newsergate newsbomb often called the dogsmack news witnessing the great news crash clickbait cracknews makes a stink news from the dogpipe. Nothing is happening anywhere ever. There is no news. The news hasn’t happened yet. The news didn’t happen, did it? The news won’t happen, but you’ll forget about old news that never happened as the promise of new news will replace it. Exploding newspiss. This was just my thought process for the title. I thought I’d leave it here. Otherwise it’s just a hidden compost heap in a file on my PC that will never again be accessed.” -David Firth-
The News Hasn’t Happened Yet #3 : UP Headlines:
The Debate Over if a Pigeon Flew into the International Space Station.
Experts Claim Everything is Perfect.
3 New Brand New Species of Bird Found on The Moon!
Does the Moon in fact Even Exist, and if Not What about the Birds?
Are Birds just Tiny Dragons?
Is Life actual an Illusion?
Inter-dimensional Space Rabbits!
UP gets Banned!
Is Space a Hoax?
The Dispute over the Existence of the International Space Station.
Hello to All of You Out There I hope You are Safe and Sane as the The Current State of Affairs Spirals Chaotically and Virtually Out of Control. In these Dire Days People need a Source of Escapism More than Ever to help (if Only Temporarily) to Retreat from the Woes of the World. We sincerely Hope We can Provide such Escapism for Our Reader, Fans, and Supporters. We all must Remember It Always is Darkest Before The Light.
As for Saturday Slasher Cinema We are Postponing SSC for the Time Being. We will Resume SSC in Due Time, and We Thank You for Your Patience.
Now Let’s Make Our Escape……
Awhile Back We had a Short Horror Film Friday that featured a Six Episode Horror Series called Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared. It was brought to Our attention recently that Someone had Located the Pilot Episode of DHMIS, and We were a little more than Psyched to Learn of This Development.
Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared is a Surreal British Cult Comedy Horror Web Series. The Web Series was Created by British Filmmakers, Graphic Designers, Artists, and Animators Becky Sloan and Joseph Pelling. DHMIS Consists of 6 Episodes, Released from July 29, 2011 to June 19, 2016 through The Artists’ Website, YouTube, and Vimo. Every Episode of DHMIS Utilizes Live Actors in Costume, Anthropomorphic Puppets, Traditional Animation, Stop Motion, and Computer Animation to Tell Each Story in the Series.
Each Episode Revolves around Yellow Guy (and His Father Roy Gibbleston), Red Guy and Duck Guy meeting One or Several Anthropomorphic Characters, Who begin a Musical Number related to a Basic Concept of Day-To-Day Life complete with an Upbeat Melody similar to that of a Nursery Rhyme. As Each Song progresses, it becomes Apparent that its Moral/Message is Nonsensical or Self-Contradicting, and that the “Teacher” Character has an Sinister Ulterior Motives. The Climax of each Episode Typically Involves GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, BLOOD SHED, GORE, OR PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR!!! Later int he Series, the CHaracters begin to Questioning the NAture of Their Reality and the Bizarre Messages of the Teachers.
What sucks so fucking bad about boredom is its boring and is know so by all who have ever existed. The best weapon in the arsenal of entertainment is to just make your own when all else falls flat on its face like your drunk uncle. I like to believe that I have redefined the concept of self entertainment when it comes to the stupid shit I do when I have to combat bored. I’ll let you be the judge. Bring on the list lets see that motherfucker!
The stupid shit I do when I get bored list:
Just the other day I had bought a rubber band gun to dissuade our upiity ass new kitten from misbehaving (main offense antagonizing the fuck out of the older house cat). I decided to load the gun with as many rubber bands as I fucking possibly could so I sat there adding one after the other until I had reached maximum capacity. That night as per usual the kitten started acting like a insane idiot and I was engaged in hunting her down to adviser her to cease and desist. Well if you have ever looked for a cat you already know that cats can be elusive motherfuckers when they want to be. Ninjas don’t have shit on cats its a fact so look it up. Anyway I colluded locate her and I have no idea why (it wasn’t fucking premeditated is all) when I passed my wife laying on the couch I yelled “SNATCH SHOT!” and unloaded ever last one of the rubber bands into my wife’s crotch. She had been engrossed in some YouRube video so she was startled as fuck and none too happy.
This week while keeping my wife company while grocery shopping a boring activity if there ever fucking was one am I right? Yeah I am. Anyways as my wife was selecting a piece of cow meat we would be dinning on that evening I saw a price tag. I don’t even remember what kind of meat it was but if I had to guess it was some pork tenderloin or something similar I suppose. The price was $6.96 and agin for no rhyme or reason I suddenly hauled the hell off and punched the shit out of that pork tenderloin thing. I then picked it up and loudly announced to my fellow shoppers “696 OFFEND MY FAMILY AND INSULTS OUR HONOR!”
A Frequent habit I have had for a extremely long ass time is when I’m out shopping with any doesn’t matter who the hell it is I start sneaking the most fucking random items into the cart when they aren’t looking (like a fucking cat). Then at check out I watch as they unload their shit at check out and discover my additions to their carts one by one intermediately through out the checking out process. You see you have to make sure as shit you dispense the various ass items in at different times and in different parts of the cart to fully drag the awkward confusion out.
Once in a while I’ll go to Dick’s sporting goods acting like an unhappy and irate customer with an ax to grind. I then when I encounter the first fucking employee I can demand that I talk to someone with authority. That means I want to talk to the biggest dick there.
I enjoy tracking down owners of Badcock Furniture Stores and inquiring why they haven’t legally changed their name from Badcock to something more flattering and advantageous. I then give examples such as Bigcock, Hugecock, Monstercock, Giantcock, Bigoldcock, or Giantcock.
I once in a blue moon if I’m in a store such as HomeDepot I like to wander over to the appliance section and find dishwashers, refrigerators , washing machines etc. Once I’m there I wait milling around aimlessly until no one is around and then I fart into the particular appliance. That way hopefully when the next person opens it to check it out it smells like ass inside.
When it comes to farting I also enjoy walking down the aisle of a store, stopping momentarily, farting, and walking away to an observation point. So then all I have to do is watch different shopper’s reactions when they walk through it. If they’re alone they’re all “what’s that pungent stench?”or if their with other people “Which one of these people I’m with is farting the place up?”
I have the juvenile habit of walking past friends who are sitting so I can fart in their face and ask “So what I have for lunch?!”
I tell people from time to time that I’m a doctor and when they ask what kind of doctor I am I tell them I’m a doctor of doctoring. You’d be fucking surprised how many people never question that statement as it sounds like some odd ass medical shit (and we all know how odd medical shit so lets just fucking admit it).
I have over the years also added a second version of the being a doctor of doctoring or more like a definition as it were. I explain that a doctor of doctoring is an extremely elite specialist who only treats other doctors.
I have been know to call church’s in the area and ask them why they seem to be having such a hard time finding Jesus.
Having some telemarketing experience I will cold call people and ask then to participate in a market research survey. The survey then turns out to be some ridiculous shit like with equally stupid questions. Examples of some such questions: “Have you ever taken part in any kind of spaghetti wrestling, and if yes were the noodles Ramen noodles?!” or “If one in the hand is better than two in the bush how do you feel about this exchange rate?”
I am a fan of hassling pescatarians about eating fish. Pescatarians are and I quote “People who do not eat meat, but they do eat fish.” So what the fuck are they classifying fish as? Fish isn’t a fruit, it isn’t a vegetable or dairy product so what the fuck do they mean?! Fish are living, breathing, breeding creatures with a natural life cycle so if they aren’t meat WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY THEN?!!
I get a kick out of sending take out food from one restaurant and have it delivered to another restaurant. There’s no purpose here other than for fucking laughs. The idea of the confusion and befuddling of staff by sending a Sushi platter to a Mexican restaurant or Indian food to a Italian restaurant is the motivator.
I have shit in inappropriate areas like parking lots, public fountains, people’s front lawns or some other common space area. When I’m confronted for my righteous public pooping I explain I was raised by Wild Animals (the animal changes regularly) and that’s how I learned to shit. That or I explain I’m from a poor ass family in Appalachia who lived in a one room shack so we were raised to just shit outside.
I used to call 411 and ask irrelevant questions like “Why does my dick look like a pickle its all green and bumpy?!”
I have on occasion called PetSmart or PetCo’s grooming department as a possible new client inquiring about their shrives and prices. I then ask them how much would it cost for my Bearded Dragon a haircut.
I’ve called random New Yorkers and asked why so they such bad insomnia in Ny since NY is the city that never sleeps?!
Occasionally I will go into fast food restaurant restrooms, go into one of the stalls, kneel down (have to make it realistic people!), and start making horribly violent vomiting sounds.
A couple of times I called Catholic churches pretending to be a Child Abuse/Anti-Pedophilia Charity soliciting donations.
I frequently punch packaged meat in grocery stores while yelling “ADRIAN!!”
I once called an abortion clinic to inquire about aborting my older brother.
I have told (and tried to convince) people I was born I believed myself into existence.
I like to call Law Firms/ Lawyers and to inquire about filing a restraining order on the grounds of sexual harassment against myself since I’m self employed.
I take one of those DNA or Ancestry tests and when the results finally arrive I harass customer service over the fact the test failed to prove my relation to Bigfoot.
I enjoy insisting to people that if latin is a dead language than anyone who still uses it (like doctors or lawyers for example) is in fact dead.
Several times I have gone to the zoo for the sole purpose of flinging my feces at the monkeys.
When bored I indulge in my favorite hobby: Douche Spotting.
I have demanded to know from soccer moms why there aren’t any other sports moms like Baseball moms and all that shit?!
I once stood outside of a sperm bank offering people going in free samples of my sperm.
A few times I have gone to sex anonymous meeting and handed out condoms, lube, and Lithuanian Viagra.
One of my personal favorite things to do when I get bored is probably the easiest (and shall well say “less objectionable” selections on this list). Step One I briskly walk up to strangers with my hand up with pointer finger fully extended. Step 2 When I reach then I look in their eyes and squint as if I recognize them, but can’t remember their name. Step 3 I open my mouth as if I’m about to say something. Step 4 abruptly I close my mouth, look away, lower my hand, and briskly walk off. Now some people may be tempted to add an addition intro phrase such as “Excuse Me….” or “I just noticed….” this is fucking stupid because the point is too leave the person confused as fuck. Once you have walked off you want the said person to wonder who you were and more over what the hell were you about to say to them. The addition of words defeats the point so yeah there’s that.
I tend to when I get bored go to a local food store or grocery and create a godawful fucking scene by openly debating (to the point of rage) what the difference is between a Burrito and a Chimichanga is.
I get a kick out of telling fellow bar patrons that my favorite specialty drink I ever had was The Pale of Champale at_____ (Insert fictional place of choice), and then explain it’s a pale like you’d see at your garden variety hardware store filled to the brim with Champale.
Once in a while when I get bored I make a scene in public trying to literally kiss my own ass goodbye after just receiving some serious bad news from my doctor.
Quite often I go to my local gym and sit around eating the most unhealthy fatty food that couldn’t possible have another calorie added to it. When the gym rats and regulars get all bent out of shape about it. When they approach me about why I’m there I can tell them I’m an amateur sumo wrestler, and that I’m in training for the next Olympics because if I win a medal I can go pro.
Once many moons ago when I got bored I poured a shot of some rank cheap as bottom barrel bourbon, gargled with it, and then spit it out. I them poured beer into my hand and rubbed it through my hair and beard. Then for good measure I dribbled some beer down the front of my shirt. Next I drove around town until I saw a cop at which point I start to drive erratically until they pull me over. They get one wife of the booze and yank my ass out of the car for a sobriety test which I pass with flying fucking colors mind you. The cop will gets twisted because he/she can’t understand what the hell is happening. They will inevitable ask why you wreck of alcohol but are as sober as a goddamn judge. That when I replied “Well I’m tonight’s designated distraction.” WARNING: if the cop is an unforgiving prick you can be ticked or even taken into custody for this SO DO NOT TRY THIS ANYWHERE AT ANYTIME. THERE I LEGALLY COVERED MY ASS!
I call an import/export company and export some random shit. Then I call back the next day and hire them to specifically import everyone of the exports I sent out the pervious day.
I have been known when I get bored to call local businesses (especially malls) who have signs stating that pets aren’t allowed accept for seeing eye dogs, and ask them who the signs are for?! I then point out that the blind person in question can’t see nor read the sign because they are fucking blind. Meanwhile the seeing eye dog can’t read the sign so maybe a fucking sign falls a little fucking short of effective.
I make up absurd historical facts and attempt to convince them its true. For example the crock pot was derived from the ancient crotch pot. The crotch pot was a small clay jar that people kept between their legs for 12 -16 hours to heat the food contained within. To sell this one you can site the fact that Ancient Mongolian Warriors would take a piece of raw meat, stick it between the horse and the saddle to “cook” it. Then just google it and use it as an example of primitive cooking methods.
I hangout at local dog parks posing as a parks department employee who has been hired by the city to scoop the dog poop at the dog park. The reason the position was created was due to the increasing incidents of people getting in fist fights with other dog owners who use the park, but don’t pick up after their fucking dog. After I explain the position I then inform whomever I’m speaking with that while I’m a official parks employee I work for tips due to department budget cuts.
If I get bored on vacation I just load up a bunch of scuba diving gear and other aquatic gadgets and head to the nearest lake. I then get in the water and start to act like a bonafide lunatic setting ups ll kinds of weird camera apparatus and drawing a lot of attention. That way when the people around me work up the courage/nerve to inquire as to what the hell I’m up to I tell them I’m hunting the Lock Ness Monster. When they point out that I’m not at Loch Ness the lake where the Loch Ness monster is alleged to reside I claim that the Loch Ness Monster has a distinct migratory pattern. It uses this unique migration pattern to migrate from lake to lake around the world to avoid detection. This is why no one has been able to find or present any evidence of the Loch Ness monster’s existence.
I am found of logging onto dating websites so I can brag that I’m depended from a long historical line of bathroom attendants.
By Otto Rageous
Now Let’s Make Our Escape……
