Creative Writing – Page 15

The Chronic Chronicles

Arijuana Marijuana woke Suddenly as His Sinsemilla Super Senses where Going Off Like an Air Raid Horn. It felt like He had fallen asleep on His Brain which in turn had “Fallen Asleep”, and Now was Suffering the Side Affect of His Brain feeling like Pins and Needles.

Somewhere in the Immediate Area there was Someone Bogarting a Joint which is a CLEAR VIOLATION of Pothead Edict, and Thus Must Be Stopped. Arijuana Marijuana sprung into Action Grabbing His Hemp Superhero Suit, and His trusty Bashing Bong. The Bashing Bong was 6 feet Long and made of some Secret Sativa Infused Metal as part of a Failed 1969 Drug War Experiment. Once He was ready and full equipped Arijuana jumped behind the Wheel of His Mighty Spliff Mobile, and Speed Off through the Coloradan Countryside Towards Indica Issue at Hand.

When Arijuana Marijuana pulled into the Parking Lot of a 7-11 He instantly saw The Two Pot Smokers in Question. The Gentlemen on the Left looked Disgruntled as all Hell while the Gentlemen on the Right was Obliviously Babbling On while Sporadicly taking Puff After Indulgent Puff of a Giant Ganja Spliff.

Arijuana Marijuana left from The Spliff Mobile and took off Running towards the Dank Smoking Duo Post Haste. Once He had reached the Two Ganja Enjoying Gentlemen Arijuana Marijuana took Hold of His Bashing Bong (like it was a Baseball Bat), and Swung for the Fences . The Bashing Bong Hit the Bogarting Gentlemen directly Upside His Head.

The Force of the Blow from the Bashing Bong sent the Top of The Bogarting Gentleman Flying Through the Air like a fucking Frisbee, and the Gentlemen Soaring in an Elaborate Arch into a Neighboring Drainage Ditch. The Bogarting Gentlemen landed at the Bottom of the Drainage Ditch (with His Exposed Brain Glistening in the Afternoon Sun), and Started to Wonder How and Why He was In Fact at the Bottom of a Drainage Ditch.

Arijuana Marijuana strolled Over to the Edge of the Drainage Ditch and Yelled as Authoritatively as Possible “IT’S PUFF, PUFF, PASS YOU ASSHOLE.” , and with that Walked Triumphantly back to The Spliff Mobile.

As Arijuana Marijuana pulled Out of the Parking Lot He observed The Once Disgruntled Gentlemen Bend Down and Pick Up the Freshly Liberated Spliff. The Gentlemen then wondered over and Peered Questioningly at His Associate and Asshole at Sitting Flat on His ass in a goddamn Drainage Ditch.

Another Spliff had been Saved by The One and Only THC SUPER POWERED POT SMOKING HERO ARIJUANA MARIJUANA .

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

Autocalypse: When the Other Motorist’s Insurance is Shit

One Random Day My Wife asked if She could Borrow My Car to Run a Quick Errand and I said of Course. I’m Not on of those Guys that Insanely Compulsive about Their Car (Example: “ONLY I Drive My Car.”) and All I really cared about was Not being Dragged along as I hate Shopping in ALL Its Forms. Luckily for Me My Presence was Not required so I tossed Her the Keys, Fired Up the Laptop, and Settled in for a little Impromptu Me Time as it were.

30 Minutes had passed and I was thoroughly Enjoying Myself when then Phone Rang. I picked it up and it was My Wife who immediately told Me to STAY CALM, But something Happened to My Car. She then wen on to Inform Me that as She (along with a Dear Family Friend) had been Slowly Cruising the Grocery Parking Lot for a Space, and Low and Behold an Elderly Lady Pulled Out/ Backed Out of Her Parking Spot and Directly into My Rear Passenger Car Door. I instructed My Wife to make SURE NO ONE LEFT the Scene before I got there and that I was leaving the House as We Spoke.

I jumped into My Wife’s Car and Headed Out in a fucking Hurry. It Only took about 5-6 Minutes for Me to Arrive as This Particular Grocery Store was Literally Down the Street and Around the fucking Corner. Which was lucky for all as I ADMIT I Drive like a Total Asshole when I’m Seriously Pissed Off.

I pull up and the first fucking thing I realize is I smell Alcohol because The Elderly Lady smelled like a fucking Brewery, and NOT a good one Mind You. So I bulldozed My way passed the Drunk Old Lady so I could Survey the Damage Done to My Car. What I saw STILL Boggles My Mind to this Very Day.

The Driver was a Drunk Elderly Lady Driving a Generic as fuck 4 Door Sedan, and there was only 4 feet between where She was Parked and My Car Door. Well with those Stats You’d figure the Damage would be Rather Minimal, But in this Case You’d Be Wrong Very Wrong Indeed. You see instead of a Dent (or perhaps 2) or a Scratch (or 2) or Perhaps a little of Both My Door looked like it had been Hit by a Legitimate Wrecking Ball.

From the Bottom of the Window to the Bottom of the Door was Caved in, it looked like a fucking Meteorite Crater for fucks sake. How the Hell that Drunk Old Lady managed to Generate Enough Speed in 4 fucking Feet to Cause this Type of fucking Damage. I just stood there fucking totally Dumb Struck at what I was Looking along with the Scenario that Caused it.

At Last a Lazy Cop (I saw that because it took the Bastard 57 fucking Minutes to show the fuck up, and then acted All Authoritative as if We were wasting HIS Time the Hypocritical Cock Cracker) and He too instantly Smelled Alcohol on The Elderly Ladies Breath. We went through the Regular Rigamarole “Any One Hurt?”, “What Exactly Happened”, “Drivers Licensees and Proof of Insurance” Blah Blah Fuckity Blah. Once that Part concluded The Cop put the Drunk Elderly Lady in Handcuffs and Carted Her off to the Drunk Tank to Sober the fuck up.

Now I ADMIT I seriously fucked Up and instead of taking My Car to My fucking Mechanic as I have Done with EVERY Auto Accident I’ve been involved in/with. This time I’m still unsure why I opted to let the Drunk Elderly’s Lady’s Insurance (Which by the way was ALLSTATE, You’ll see why this is Significant a little later on in this Post) Fix it at One of Their Contracted Auto Mechanic Shops.

The Repair Consisted of Repairing the Power Window (which in all Honestly was Already Malfunctioning, BUT considering the Amount of Speed and Force Generated by the Drunk Elderly Lady chances are the Internal Power Window Mechanisms would have been Obliterated Anyways so) and Replacing the Car Door Panel. This Repair should take a Day perhaps Two if the Shop is Busy and You have to Wait for Them to get to Your Car.

Well for the Next TWO WEEKS My Wife, Friends, Family, and I continued to Struggle with How the hell This Drunk Elderly Woman could have induced SO MUCH Damage in such a Short Distance?! I joked I should call the Guys from the Defunct TV Discovery Channel Show MYTH BUSTERS, and ask Them to Figure it Out since They could probably use The Paycheck.

I also in Jest suggested I hire a Team of Physicists to Run Tests in a Lab to Figure Out the Answer. In the End the ONLY thing that even came Close to a fucking Answer was Being Intoxicated The Elderly Lady got in Her Car and Floored the fucking Thing without even Being Aware of It. Then She must have put the Car in Reverse while Gunning the Engine and SLAMMED Into My Car.

After Realizing that the Mechanic Shop My Car was being Repaired called STERLING AUTOMOTIVE (Yes I’m using Their Real Name because Their Assholes and People should fucking damn well know it.) had infant had My Car an EXORBITANTLY LONG fucking Time I gave Them a call the Next Day when I got a Free Minute at Work. As it were the Following Morning at Work (I was a Vet Tech at a Local Veterinary Animal Hospital) was Hectic as All Hell, BUT around 12:30 I had a chance to make the Call.

I was standing in the Midsection of The Hospital that was Behind the Exam Rooms where We did Bloodwork, Dispensed Medications, and Prepped Animals for Surgery and Such. My Boss and Supervisor where sitting to My Left shooting the Shit with a Couple of Our Clients. And Thank God They were Empathetic as Well as Being Pretty Cool People because What Happened Next was a Spontaneous Shitshow.

I Called Up STERLING AUTOMOTIVE and a Young Lady answered. I told Her the Situation, and that I was extremely Unpleased by Their fucking Slow as a Tortoise Timeline. She then Let Me Know that My Car was in Fact Ready, and The Mechanics were giving it a Once Over to Insure the Repairs were Correct. She then Informed Me there had Been an Issue with My Car, and I asked Her what at which point She tells Me matter-of-factly that While at Their Shop My fucking Car was Broken Into and Some Crackhead Cocksucker Stole My $300 Car Stereo.

I being back then My Later 20’s hadn’t learned a single thing about Proper Self Control so My Anger Kicked In and I Totally Lost My shit. I yelled into the phone something to the Effect of:

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN MY FUCKING CAR WAS FUCKING BROKEN INTO?! SOMEONE FUCKING BROKE INTO MY FUCKING CAR, AND FUCKING STOLE MY FUCKING STEREO? THAT’S WHAT THE FUCK YOUR FUCKING TELLING ME FOR FUCK’S SAKE?!!!”

The Poor Young Lady was COMPLETELY FLOORED and Had NO IDEA what to do at This Point Period. I told Her I’d be coming Down IMMEDIATELY and Hung Up on Her. I called My Wife who was Off from Work for a Ride Down to STERLING ASSHOLE AUTOMOTIVE.

As Soon as I Stormed in the Door EVERY Employee behind the Counter which was located at the Back of the Shop Hauled Ass out of there. I reached the Counter just in time to Hear someone say They were getting the Manager Jeff. To Occupy My time I made several Phone Calls and LOUDLY ANNOUNCED that My Car was Broken into and My Stereo Stolen at STERLING AUTOMOTIVE. I did this Solely because there were Plenty of Customers/Potential Customers in the Shop as well as Entering and Exiting.

At Last a Short Man Named Greg Weighing 90 Pounds Soaking Wet with Rocks in His fucking Pockets showed up to Escort Me Outside (Obviously to Avoid Creating any Further Commotion in the Shop). I immediately got Toe to Toe with Jeff and Told Him I sure a fuck didn’t Appreciate the Fact They had My car for a RIDICULOUSLY LONG TIME for a Simple Repair that in My fucking Opinion provided some Scumshit to Steal My Stereo.

Greg tried BRIEFLY at that Point to Stand His Ground by telling Me He didn’t Appreciate How I talked to His Employee. I then told Jeff TOUGH SHIT I wasn’t Apologizing to ANYONE FOR ANYTHING. I went on to say Jeff being the Shop Manager should have called Me since this was a Sensitive Issue, BUT APPARENTLY JEFF had the Desk Girl do it For Him. Thus it was His fault because He was being a fucking Coward and chose to Hide rather than do His fucking Job. Jeff promptly shut the fuck up and We went to Examine My Car.

I noticed as We walked around the side of the Building to Their Lot I noticed They had a 15 foot tall Chain Link Fence, but Unlike Every Other Auto Mechanic there was NO BARBED WIRE. This means that if You a Scumfuck or High on Crack and Not Insanely afraid of Heights You could Simply Climb over No Problem No Bolt Cutters Needed. As We entered the Lot I saw a Singular So-Called Security Camera that was DEFINITELY NOT useful for Shit because it was a Shitty Closed Circuit TV Camera (like the Ones They have in Connivence Stores) Circa 1980. The fucking Red Activation Light wasn’t on which is a EASY way to Tell the Camera wasn’t even On as more than likely it wasn’t even Hooked Up to Electricity.

I Didn’t hesitate to share My Distain and Observations to Greg’s Attention He Attempted to give Me a Bullshit Excuse and I told Him I could fucking Care Less what He had to say for Himself. Once We reached my Car the First Thing that Occurred to Me was The Window was Broken. Don;t get Me Wrong I didn’t;t want My Windows Busted, YET in this Type of Breaking an Entering the Perpetrator will simply Break the Window, Open the Door, and Steal the Stereo.

SO Why then wasn’t MY Window Busted Out?! I then asked Greg this Question and He said I kid You Not that because STERLING AUTOMOTIVE has SO MANY issues with People Stealing Their Customer’s shit while Their Vehicle is in Sterling’s Custody that They STOPPED LOCKING THE CAR DOORS. That translates into “We get robbed all the fucking time so We don’t lock the Doors so The Crackheads won’t Break The Windows, and Then STERLING wouldn’t have to Pay for the Window as Well as the fucking Replacement Stereo.”

Greg even informed Me that HIS fucking Car had been Broken Into 3 Times since He started working there. I suppose this was to try and make Me feel not so Bad about what Happened, BUT all it did was Piss Me off More. I took what Jeff had said as that STERLING was such a Shit Show of a Shit Shop that even the Employees Car’s get Robbed. What The Fuck is that bullshit About?!

Well in the End I got My Stereo Replaced, a Bullshit Apology from STERLING, and One Hell of a Story.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober ( Posted 12:16am)

Everything is Coming up R̶o̶s̶e̶s̶ Crack Roses

Once upon a time, I used to be that guy that would check the internet for random holidays and annoy the shit out of people celebrating them.

National Cupcake Day? Sounds good to me.

National Piss Off Your Co-Worker Day? Why limit that to one day? I did this by breathing every single day. I once got poked in the eye by a female co-worker for the simple reason of me doing my job. Got a nifty pair of goggles by that is another tale.

National Prostitutes Day- I used to celebrate this but not anymore. I don’t think I’m still for sale but I sure as hell am not crusty enough to be buying yet.

So this week I am going to proclaim National Crack Cocaine Week. I am not really sure why it should be this week. I mean Bobby Brown was born in February and Whitney Houston was born in August. The crack mayor from the 1990s Marion Barry was born in March.

So why Crack Week? Why should it be right now? All of my actions this week have led me to crack. I have not personally smoked crack in more than a decade, nor do I have any burning desire to do so. Yet if I were pulled over earlier this week by a cop I would have quite a bit of difficulty explaining myself. My truth is their fiction.

It all started so innocently. Boy meets boy. Boys get weed. Boys smoke a bong hit. Boy gets a bit too high. Boy asks what is in this. Boy gets told freebase. Boy is older than the internet so he has no clue. Innocence gone.

Boy hits a car going 2 miles per hour. Lady in other car has a hissy fit. Cops come. Boy bats his eyes and pleads innocence. Cop tells boy (me) to go fuck my friend. I say no he’s not into me. Cop says your friend wants it real bad. Friend doesn’t believe me. Cop then flicks his tongue in and out at us in a manner that reminded me of Gene Simmons. Friend believes me.

So that is my history. That is my first time. I know some of you will say freebase is not crack to which I say YOU ARE A CRACKHEAD.

Back to the present……

I had a rather unfortunate event with my glass bong last weekend. I yanked it from underneath my kitchen cabinet directly upward and destruction was upon me.

Then at the same time I somehow threw out the only screen I had for it into the garbage. I checked my two faucets. They were barren of screens. So now logic would dictate I just buy a screen with the bong but no. I just bought a bong by itself.

Then I was just down to some shake left in my bag o’ weed. So instead of going back to where I bought the bong I thought oh I should just buy some Chore Boy. In my head I remember it as not having so many holes in it. So I threw my shake in there with the Chore. It utterly failed. I did have a flashback to smoking crack, not an urge per-say, just well Chore Boy does have a unique taste on its own.

So now I’m stuck with this.

At least if a random crackhead comes out of the woods and somehow gets into my apartment they will have something useful to steal. I’m seriously considering sticking it in a bowl with 1000 pennies so they’d have another amusement. Copper for the win BABY!!!

So then this new bong had a stem I did not like. (I did not break the old stem). It was too long and thin. So I decided to execute it in my sink. I thought it would break into a million pieces but instead I ended up with this. The STEMASAURUS!!!

By SpaceDog

The Many Faced Spacedog

Everyday when I wake up and look at myself in the mirror, I’m not really sure who I am viewing. Sure it is me but I’ve lived so many distinct lives with no connection to one another it is absurd.

Like everyone else I started off innocent. Then I got a dose of that good old Catholic guilt. Hated the parents from ten years old because of this. Why would they lie to me about something so important?

It finally came to a head when I had to smash out multiple windows in their home. I was indeed very serious about not attending church.

Around the same time I came to terms with being a homosexual. Not one of those cheesy Hollywood gay teen portrayals. I knew what I wanted and usually got it. Sure I pulled a bit of a Hard Candy situation and threatened an older man into sleeping with me or else, but what else would you expect? At my best I was Sebastian from Cruel Intentions plus a bit of Regina George (Mean Girls). I was terrifying.

I faked mental illness for many years to the point that I have fooled nearly everyone to this day. Sure I had a few suicide attempts, most illegitimate barring one. These were all caused by medication which was supposed to help. I will get to this in another blog.

I tried my hardest to be an extrovert but discovered I did not relate to very many others. I tried drug dealing, prostitution, and even attempted being a mail order bride. Sadly the guilt never let me be a bride even though I had many offers.

Then a foot injury came. 20 years ago. It led to opiate abuse and then eventually heroin abuse because I was abadoned by friends who were only there when I had a vehicle. The only one left just happened to be a heroin addict and down the rabbit hole I went.

Sometimes I feel like the original Oxycontin victim because I lived the story you hear all too often in today’s news. It was a dark and solitary several years because frankly I did not want to be around other users. It was a gross habit.

Then there were some lost years. I do not remember much of them. I drank heavily at first. This led to 80 pounds of weight gain in a year. It came off almost as rapidly. I was obsessed with someone who I clearly thought was obsessed with me. This was not real as that person completely bought into the lies about mental illness big pharma wants us to believe.

As I struggled with substances I also struggled with who I was. Most people I’ve met seem to have some issue with me because I’m straight acting. It’s not an act though it’s just me. I love sports, divas, queens, bros, most forms of tv (except true crime and cop shows), all music (just not the bs playing in 90% of gay clubs) and everything in between. Still the queens think I’m too masculine and the gay bros say I’m too fem. Apparently being naturally well rounded is not a quality others tend to believe in.

So the point to all this is that while I am all of the things I’ve ever been I am also none of them. Sure I’ve made countless mistakes along the way. I have no regrets. Yes, I could have handled things better with the handful of my friends who now live in graveyards. Regrets though never. I just had to stay in the darkness a bit longer before I knew where he the dark ended and the light began.

The only thing that truly matters though is today and tomorrow. I finally have a clear vision of what it is I want. The veil has been lifted for me.

What do I want you ask? It is a secret. Everyone is a naysayer. I’ve shared far too many secrets with all the wrong people. There is way too much ambition within me and I’d love to finally be able to use it.

But it’s all just for today. That’s the only slogan I have ever found useful in a 12 step program. Some days I go old and sit around and do nothing watching game shows like I’m 90. Other days I challenge myself to 2 hours at the gym or 20,000 steps. Some days I go young and binge teen dramas. I really don’t care what you think. I do me. You do you.

Still while I know who I will be tomorrow beyond that remains a mystery. All the vexations of my spirit have been cast away in some long forgotten martini glass. Something massive is growing inside my soul. I hope it’s love and not some tumor. Fuck tumors.

You aren’t who you were. You are who you dream. I am living the dream. I hope you do one day too.

by Spacedog

A Lesson In Anger Management: Shitty Customer Service

I have Commented Before that Customer Service is a Dying Art if You will and Now Customer Service in General fucking Sucks. Well I had another Run in with a World Class Customer Service Shitbag.

The Issue was SO MINOR it was damn near Pathetic here’s Why. I Hate, Loath, and Despise Our Current TV/Internet Provider so I did what Anyone would do in this Situation I called Another Company and got a Better Deal. The Only small fuck up was the Sales Rep. was supposed to E-mail Me the Terms and Conditions bullshit Paperwork, but I never received said E-mail (though the Sales Rep. was VERY fucking Insistent I would get it Shortly after We concluded Our Phone Call as it were.) That was Yesterday.

Since I live in Bumfuck No Where USA We still have fucking Ridiculous 2 Year Service Contracts to Deal with. So Obviously I want to be goddamn sure I know what I’m getting into First believe You Me. With the Installation Scheduled for Tomorrow I was getting a bit fucking Irritated that My Window to Review Said Documents was Narrowing.

Today I Simply called the New Provider to Simply Request that the Initial E-mail Simply be Resent. HOW FUKCING SIMPLE IS THAT?!! Well it was a LOT Harder to Accomplish My Goal when I had this Great Displeasure of Getting Stuck with a Complete and Utter Asshole of a Customer Service Representative.

First Off this Asshole mumbles HIs name so COMPLETELY INCOHERENTLY It Didn’t in fact sound Like He was Speaking a Language, But More like He was just making Random Guttural Animalistic Grunts. Anyway I tell Him I SIMPLY need a E-mail Resent BECAUSE I never Received it in the First fucking Place.

The Next thing I know He said He had to Look Up My Account Information which I found Rather Fucking ODD, But I gave the shit The Benefit of the Doubt. Perhaps He’d need to Verify My E-mail which seemed likely to Me. I just rather Assumed The Sales Rep. had Typed in My E-mail Address Wrong and that was SIMPLY It. While this Asshole is Allegedly looking Up My Account Info Goes Unusually Quite leaving Me to A) Wonder if the Call Got Dropped or Some Technical Issue like His Head Set took a shit, and B) Listening to the Extraneous Background Babbling of His fellow Call Center Co-Workers.

After 15 minutes of the Happy Horseshit I SIMPLY commented Out Loud that was Not a Good First Impression for a New Customer, and it seemed silly that I had to go through ALL this just to SIMPLY have an E-mail Resent. This did Not Bode Well with Customer Service Shithead, and He copped THE BIGGEST BULLSHIT ATTITUDE You’d think He was a Tween Girl who got insulted on Social Media or some Stupid shit like that.

This Prick gets all Pissy with ME all of a Sudden. Before I can even Complete My First Thought (which was What the Fuck/Who the Fuck Does this Fuckwit think He is?!! ) HE starts Lecturing Me like a Bitchy Librarian. This Shitface Informs ME that if I can’t Stop being Rude HE is Going to Terminate the Phone call.

I asked Him How Exactly was I being Rude as I wasn’t Getting Loud/Yelling, I Didn’t Insult or Threaten Him in Anyway Whatsoever, and I was using Foul/Obscene/Abusive Language. HE didn’t Answer so I SIMPLY asked the Fucknuts Again and Then Again with still No ANSWER. Finally Mr. Motherfucker speaks up Again and Suggest We Keep The Call Professional. I Reiterate My Question this Time Though asking How was I Not Being Professional?!! This Time He Babbled some bullshit Incoherently about Professionalism which to ME made Absolutely No fucking Sense At All. It seemed to be Him Vocalizing His Current Train of Though.

Once He Stops His Bout of Verbal Diarrhea I tells ME that this in Actuality ISN’T HIS DEPARTMENT. I then Fed Up as fuck asked to be Transferred to the RIGHT DEPARTMENT. And Yet Again this Shitheel coups More of an Shitty Attitude with ME as HE tells ME that HE has to Place Me on a Short Hold while He finds the fucking Number. THE FUCKFACE WORKS THERE WHY DIDN”T HE KNOW THE FUCKING NUMBER I ASK YOU?!!

I sat on fucking Hold for just Short of 5 Minutes to see if Captain Cock Lock would indeed Return. Alas He DID NOT and I SIMPLY Hung the hell up. I then Immediately Called Back, and was Helped by a Very Nice Gentlemen who Apologized for the Previous Peckerhead as well Informing ME as to How I could Locate the Information I was Looking For. Heres the fucking Kicker You can do it on Their Website with the Proper Identification Numbers which the Sales Rep. had given to ME Yesterday so Cool.

This Last Piece of Information did UTTERLY PISSED ME OFF. This Meant 1) The Asshole I felt with WASN’T evening the Right Department to Assist Me and 2) The Little Fuckflap could have just SIMPLY confirmed I had the Correct Numbers and Informed ME How to Navigate Their Site with No Problem EASY. I decided I had behaved MYSELF which is REALLY RARE Especially when I’m Confronted by Some Fuck-Sucker.

I asked the Cool Second Customer Service Rep Guy if They had a Complaint Department as I would like to Lodge a Complaint because of the Shitty way Their Employee had Behaved. He said Yes and Promptly gave it to Me. I then Ended My Call with Him and Instantly then Called The Number He gave Me. I got a rather Extensive and Elaborate Automated System which I had to Figure Out How to Circumvent It to Reach the Right Department Once Again. I managed to Contact a ACTUAL FUCKING HUMAN BEING. It was the Office Operator, and I told Her Why I was Calling, and She Directed My Phone Call Accordingly.

Once Another Very Polite Gentlemen fro H&R Picked Up I told Him I would like to Lodge a Complaint, BUT THIS TIME I had NO Intention of Biting My Tongue. He asked Me What the Complaint was so He could Write up a Official Report. In a Nutshell I SIMPLY I’m a EXTREMELY New Customer, 1st Time Calling Their Customer Service, Some Asshole Customer Service Rep. gave Me a TOTALLY SHITTY ATTITUDE, AND WHY SHOULD HIS SHITTY ATTITUDE BE MY FUCKING PROBLEM, I told Him the Guy had some fucking Nerve and the Bitch Balls to call ME Rude, Threatened to End the Call, Shit talking ABout it Not Being HIS Department, and Being Abandoned on Hold.

He of Course did His Job which was First and Foremost Appologizing for Something HE had NOTHING AT ALL to Do with which Seems Unfair to Me. I mean One Sorry is Sufficient, BUT in these Cases The Helpful Person Apologizes for the Problem Repeatedly Over and Over Again. He then of Course asked Me the Name of the Employee I Felt with, and I told Him that the Guy Mumbled it like a Motherfucker. I then Speculated this was due to the Fact this Guy is a DICK to EVERY CUSTOMER He Deals with so He’s Learned to Mumble His Name in a Feeble Attempt to NOT get Reported for Acting like an Asshole.

Too Bad for the AssFace there are SIMPLE Ways Around the Name Issue that I guess the fucking Fool forgot or more than likely NEVER even Though About. I SIMPLY asked the Question SINCE ALL CALLS ARE RECORDED for QUALITY and Training Purposes combined with the Fact I had just Talked to the Scumfuck Less than 45 Minutes ago couldn’t We find out His Name that Way. And of Course The H&R Guy said Yes thats be NO Problem and Did just that to Finish His Report.

He Apologized Once More and Assured Me the Report was Filed with His Department (H&R), and Wondered if there was Anything Else He could Assist Me with, I said No He’d been MORE than Helpful, and That was That. Problem Properly Addressed, and Solved Without Unnecessary Brutal Drama. I’m calling that a Win.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (35/365)

“So what’s the Deal with The Name and the Whole Bitcoin Bullshit about?!” asked Lee inquisitively.

“Well They picked the Name Ride because it Stays off People’s Radar. No One asks Questions. It’s the Hiding in Plain Sight Strategy. You see Everyone is more than Familiar with the concept of “A Ride” You Know?” answered Dizzy as He Riffled through His numerous Pockets to scrounge up the $4.37 for the 40s.

“Yeah I get it now. No One blinks when You say shit like “Thats My Ride” or “I got to call My Ride” because Ride is so utterly Generic No One Notices being Virtually Oblivious.” said Lee in a Slow Tone of Realization.

“So that’s explains the Name for You so what’s the Bitcoin Tie In about? Setting Up Ride so even in some INSANELY RARE OCCURRENCE an Asshole figures Out the Ride Name the Bitcoin is there as Back Up.” explained Dizzy plainly as He took several Prolonged Sips of His 40.

“What the fuck does that Mean? Back Up?! What kind of Back Up are You talking about specifically?!” said Lee in a Condescendingly Irritated Tone as He grew irritated by the Whole dragging out of the Conversation, and wished Dizzy would get to the fucking Point already.

“Alright fucking Relax You ass I’ll explain.,” said Dizzy with a rather Authoritative Tone, “It’s really quite Obvious Regular People Don’t deal in Bitcoin or Don’t know jack diddly shit about Bitcoin period or They deem Bitcoin Shady because of it’s Dark Web Association. So without Bitcoin You can’t use Ride.”

“Ok thats a Pretty fucking Smart Idea They came up with.” Said Lee with slight Admiration, “How fucking far is it until We get to Your Place it feels like We’ve been walking for fucking Ever and a Day.”

“Don’t be such a Drama Queen We’ll get there Soon Enough I assure You,” replied Dizzy nonchalantly.

The two continued Their on for a while in Silence as They made quick Work of Their 40s. Then all of Suddenly Dizzy grabbing Lee’s arm to get His Attention.

“Oh shit Look it’s fucking Dancing Dave!!” Dizzy blurted out in Drunken Excitement.

Lee Stopped and looked Diagonally across the Intersection at the Far Corner where Dizzy was Pointing Wildly. There on the Corner stood a Man dressed in a Navy Uniform, but not only that He also was wearing a Stereotypical Kitchen Apron along with a Old School Circa 1920’s-1930’s White Navy Cap. The Man appeared to be in His late 50’s to perhaps Early 60’s and was so Thin he looked a rather Sickly as He could weigh more than 90 pounds Soaking Wet. His skin was badly Weathered, and His Shoulders Hunched as He stood Slouching on the Corner as Still as a fucking Statue.

Dizzy again routed through His pockets until He located a handful of Spare Change which He searched through intently until He found a Couple of Quarters. Dizzy handed one of the Quarters to Lee without saying Why before He took His Quarter and lobbed it across the Intersection at Dancing Dave. The Quarter landed Unceremoniously at Dancing Dave’s Feet bouncing a couple of Times before finally coming to Rest.

Tune in for Next Weeks Enlightening Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (36/365)

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

Sick Disease: Walking Corpse Syndrome

If there was a Web MD for The Dark Web You would find Diagnosis’s such as this one for Walking Corpse Syndrome, BUT what in Unholy Hell IS Walking Corpse Syndrome Exactly?!

The Definition of Walking Corpse Syndrome is as Follows:

Walking Corpse Syndrome is also known as Cotards Syndrome a Rare, BUT Very Real Delusional Disorder.

Walking Corpse Syndrome Patients Believe that They have in Fact DIED and are NO Longer Among The Living.

Walking Corpse Syndrome Patients also Believe They Have Lost ORGANS, BLOOD, BODY PARTS, And Even Report Feeling BUGS EATING AT THEIR FLESH, as well as SMELLING THEIR FLESH ROTTING.

This Syndrome exists in Patients with Depression, Schizophrenia, Psychotic Disorders, and Dementia.

Cotard’s is thought to be Related to Capgras’s Syndrome, both are thought to Result from a Disconnection between the Brain Areas that Recognize Faces, and the Area that Associates them with the Emotions that are Connected with that Particular Face.

Whit this Disconnect, it creates a Sense that the Face that is Seen is NOT that Person that it Purports it to be, Although it is Identical with the Face it Purports it to be, it Lacks the Familiarity it Should Have.

Documented Cases:

In 2012 a Japanese Man believed He was Dead, and Consulted Doctors to see if His Suspicion was actually True. The Doctors asked the Man if He could come into the Office for a Consultation. The Man could NOT be dissuaded from His Belief that He was for all Intents and Purposes Dead. Eventually The Man was Treated and Responded Well, BUT He Continued to Believe that He had Previously Died only to somehow be Reanimated.

In 2008 a Middle Aged Woman in New York PLEADED and BEGGED Her Family Members to take Her to The Morgue to be with Her Fellow Cadavers. The Woman was Under the Belief that Not only had She Died, BUT that Her Body had started to DECAY.

In 1996 a Young Man in Scotland suffered Injuries in a Motorcycle Accident. While He was Recovering He came to Believe that the Accident had been Fatal, and Thus He was Dead having Died in the Accident. His Mother decided to relocate The Young Man to South Africa for some Reason. Unfortunately for Her and The Young Man this only served to Reinforce His Delusional Beliefs Believing now He was not Only Dead, BUT IN HELL (This was most likely due to The Extreme African Heat). Believing His Mother had remained in Scotland the Young Man Walked and Talked with the Local People of South Africa under the Belief He had Borrowed His Mother’s Spirit to Help guide Him through Hell.

Note: It is also Believed Walking Corpse Syndrome might be Be the cause behind Swedish Black Metal Musician Per Yngve Ohlin’s (ironically who’s Stage Name was Dead) 1991 Suicide at the Age of 22. Ohlin had a Long and Documented Bouts a Deep Depression and Suicidal Thoughts. Even Ohlin’s Suicide was Evidence of a Severely Troubled Mind as He committed Suicide by First Slitting His Wrists and Throat before Finally Shooting Himself in the Forehead with a Shotgun. Ohlin did leave a Suicide Note that Started “Excuse the Blood”. Ohlin’s Band Mate and Fellow Member of the Black Metal Band Mayhem took a Photo of Ohlin’s Body Post Suicide. It later became the Actual Album Cover for the Mayhem Bootleg Album Titled “Dawn of the Black Hearts”

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

Strange Shit Found On My Phone FT. SpaceDog

When I say I found some Strange Shit on My phone I’m not talking Googling or any of that Happy Horseshit. I have so much shit on My Cell Phone take Pictures for Example. I currently have 9,867 Pictures/Videos on My Phone as I write This. So needless to say some shit gets Lost in The Parallel Universe that is My Phone.

I was sitting on My Porch Idly fucking around with My Phone and Discovered a Long Lost Text Conversation I had with SpaceDog. I had Apparently taken Screen Shots of since it for Safe Keeping as I repeatedly Delete Texts/Emails/Recent Call List throughout The Day.

This in all Actuality a Conversation as it is a One Hell of a Diatribe of a Monologue on SpaceDog’s Part. I have a Total of Two (2) Texts in the Very Beginning as You will soon See. So All The Credit Goes to SpaceDog, and SpaceDog Alone as its 100% His Material. Respect.

Now I’m not even Kidding Here Kids this Text Exchange is Dated:

August 13, 2014 Starting at 12:16 am

Note To Reader: Each SpaceDog Paragraph is a Individual Subsequent Text.

Without Further Ado Here. We. Go.

Les: New Olympic Sport Gum Gargling.

SpaceDog: Jesus may have had 12 apostles but this girl steals the show with her 6 fetuses on a world class adventure transversing space and time. Staring Lena Dunham. If her pussy sin’t already engraved in your head it will become tethered to your soul says Roger Ebert.

Les: HA! Holy Shit!

SpaceDog: Lmfao. And please Exit before the clittoris becomes totally aroused. Just one 1 ml too much fluid on ones erect pernis will lead one to thinking that the dick inside their asshole is actually their own really pounding some world class pussy out. But then u wake up in that same dark hallway. Where all you see is Sarah McLaughlin eating dead puppies and Alissa Milano saying a little girl waits on a constant loop. And the only clothing you can buy ever again is the Susanne Sommers 3 way.

The hole that swallowed time is an epic battle between good and evil. Starting odd couple Jeff Goldblum and Judy Dench this odd couple wins a free time share at the beach but must go Blindfolded.Watch as they must escape the depths of hell, battling mesa, vaginitis, and misguided fecal matter. Adolph Hitler says “Mien stomach was so turned I actually freed 100 Jews from the gas chamber because I knew this movie would be much more painful. Special guests appearance by lemmewinks, Morgan Freeman, Kesha, and Weird Al.

I’m a rejected marvel comic superhero that only gains his powers from shooting up b 12 and being a snark cunt. Otherwise I turn into my day job as an accountant, while as a superhero I fly around and steal all the precious metals I can from old men on beaches with metal detectors, and then I feed the parts to sea gulls at beaches over run by assholes. This is the true reason assholes hate the beach.

And Thats That just like Opening a Text Time Capsule.

Thanks for Reading,

Presented by Les Sober.

Theres Something Shady Going On In The Pines.

It’s really No Secret I’m not exactly what One would call a Neighborly Type of Person I leave that shit to Mr. Rogers He’s the Professional. Now just because I don’t Interact Much at all with My Neighbors DOESN’T mean I’m Not Aware of what’s Going on in My Neighborhood mind You. Surprise I have Eyes and They work Well Enough.

For the First Time thus far I actually am Interested in Something Peculiar, (at least in My Opinion) that has been an On Going Scenario in My Neighborhood. If fact its has become Somewhat of a Preoccupation of Mine. I find Myself frequently wondering What the fuck is Really Going on with the New Neighbors who moved into Our Quit Little Neck of the Woods about a Year or Two Ago (I’m not doing the Math as I hate fucking Math and have the option Not To).

It reminds Me of a Couple of Movies I’ve seen of the Years, and those are Alford Hitchcock’s “Rear Window” and Secondly The Tom Hanks Comedy “The Burbs”. Some say it is Life imitating Art while Others say it is Art Imitating Life, but No One knows for Sure which way it Goes.

In Hithcock’s “Rear Window” the Main Character is stuck at Home in a Wheel Chair with a Broken Leg. Naturally after a while He gets bored as hell, and picks up some Binoculars. He then started Spying on His Neighbors and with NO Actual Proof convinces Himself The Husband has Murdered His Wife. Inevitably the Spying leads too………I’m not telling You because You should see the Movie, and I’m not going to Give Anything Away.

In the Tom Hank’s Movie New Neighbors move in just a The Main Character taking a week off from Work for a Personal Vacation. The Main Character ironically enlists some of His fellow Neighbors to Help solve the Mystery of The Strange Sounds coming from The Creepy New Neighbors’s Basement Late One Night. What Could This Reclusive Family be Up To? Again I’m Not Telling You because I give it the Same Respect I do Hitchcock’s “Rear Window”, and believe You should in fact see the Movie for Yourself.

It all Started like I said about a Year or So Ago when a Unknot Purchaser Bought an Undeveloped Acre Lot down by where the Road leads in and out of the Neighborhood. Point being is anytime I do shit I drive Past it coming and Going so sue Me I See Shit.

The First Order of Business for The New People/Person because at that point No One Knew Shit because in the Woods People generally Keep to Themselves and this They Know. Anyway Whoever it was Bulldozed the entire Lot which Once was Woods into an Acre of Dirt. I know thats how it’s done a lot of the time, but that not My Point for that You’ll have to Read On.

They then left that Attractive Acre of Dirt standing Vacant for 4-5 Months which was Annoying to look at. Finally 2 Work Men arrived and Poured the Foundation which covered a total of 900 square feet Total Tops directly in the Middle of the Lot (I’m talking Dead goddamn Center).They then Left to Let the Foundation Dry, and returned about a Week or Two Weeks later.

This time the Two Guys erected the Wood Frame of again what appears to be a Tiny 900 foot Building. The following Day They returned to Slap up Some Aluminum Siding which lead Me to Believe that This Wasn’t going to be Someone’s Home/ House. The Construction and Materials indicated it was a Prefabricated Shed the type used here in the Woods to store Farming/Construction Equipment.

Once the Structure was Finished it was Move Puzzling than ever. The Tiny Structure Has a 2 Car Garage on One End and Enough Square Footage left Over for say a SMALL one Room Studio Apartment. The Apartment Scenario became Apparent when the Front Door Identical to Any Stereotypical American Home was Installed.

The Space could have in fact also be used as an Office as there a Lot of Very Small Businesses, and Side Jobs here in the Woods still. So it wouldn’t at all be out of the Realm of Reason that this Structure was to be used as a Small Mechanic Shop or something Similar. Yet if it was a Mechanic Shop Scenario why the Traditional Home Style Front Door, and what looked to be a Car Port at the Opposite End from the Garage?!

Things Only become more Curious as they became Confusing. All of a Sudden there were 5-7 Large Pick Up Trucks, and about 7-10 People there Daily. They appeared to be Construction Workers/Contractors. They would Show Up and either go inside or hang about out front by the Trucks. The Weird thing was there was still No Landscaping, there was NOTHING be Done to the Grounds, These Guys were focused on the ISIDE of the Building ONLY.

The Question at hand was Why the hell are all These Construction Guys showing Up since its a Small 900 ft Prefabricated Shed? What the fuck were They all doing Inside that Required All Those Construction Contractor Types?! I mean the ENTIRE Building/Shed was put up by ONLY 2 GUYS in a matter of Hours with No Trouble at All.

Next They Drilled a Well which is Not really Note Worthy. You see We all Have Well Water since We live in the Woods where there is Little Infrastructure. That and Even Mechanics have to Wash Their Hands and Use the Restroom as well as for Cleaning Purposes I suppose.

What come Next was a Bit Unusual. They installed a Propane Tank which again NORMALLY wouldn’t mean dick out Here ACCEPT they installed a Propane tank that Could Fuel a 4,500 plus Square Foot Building. Seems extremely excessive You ask Me.

These Contractor Crew for lack of a Better Word worked 5-6 days a week for 4 months straight without Interruption. As Time Passed They brought in a Slew of Construction Equipment a Back Ho, a Small Steam Roller, Couple of Various BotCats, Bulldozer, and Trailers for Transporting Them. The weird thing is though The Machines NEVER LEAVE THE PROPERTY. They get moved around the Property, but Never actually Leave it. That would Rule Out a Small Construction Business or Equipment Rental Type Situation.

At this Time They Workers hooked up Electricity that was then used to Power Several external Halogen Lights which lit Up the Entire Acre Lot like a fucking Air Port Runway. Anyways after about 4 Months the Workmen all stopped Coming, and there was a Large White Pick parked in the make shift Driveway every Night as if Someone was in fact living there.

After a Holding Period the Owner’s walled in the Car Port and Incorporated it into the Small Space off the Garage as if to Add Square Footage to the What now was now Apparently was an Actual Living Space. The after that the Next development was the Installation of an Extensive Underground Ground Sprinkler System through out a Majority of the Lot, and to this Day it’s Only been used Twice. The Story doesn’t End there though things Quieted down at the Shady Shed on the Dirt Lot at least for Awhile that is.

Recently in the last 2 Months The Owners of Said Property have Purchased 2 Additional (Side By Side) Acre Lots that Bordered the back of Their Property Line. Staying True to Form the First fucking thing They Did was Cut Down EVERYTHING. This Time around though there were a Small Number of Trees Left Standing because Obviously before the could start Developing the Newly Purchased Lots/Land a Forrester had come through, and Marked the Trees that for One Reason or Another Prevented the Owners from Leveling.

The Odd thing is just like with the Clearing of the Initial Lot it seemed to have been done by Elves or Aliens. What I mean was there is a GREAT Deal of Noise and Commotion in such a Venture, BUT No One ACTUALLY witness a Single Tree being Cut Down. It’s as if It AlL Happens in the Blink of an Eye without making a Single Sound.No One saw Clearing Crews, Lumber Jacks, Foreman, Supervisors, Surveyors, Chain Saws, Wood Chippers (to dispose of Small Trees, Tree Limbs, and Various Under Brush) or The MASSIVE HEAVY Machinery used in these Type of Operations which Now Utilize Machines over Man.

The Owners then Had the Fallen Trees Stacked in a HUGE and rather Sloppy Pile, and proceeded to set it on Fire like Their own Personal Burning Man or some Hippy Dippy Artsy Fartsy Bullshit. Burning Yard/Forrest debris is Totally Legal, BUT People Burn Piles of Leaves and Twigs NOT A HUMUNGOUS PILE OF WHOLE FUCKING TREES.

They Cut, Stacked and Burned at 2 separate Clearings They created to Work within, and AGAIN Outside of the Spared Trees there was NOTHING LEFT BUT DIRT. And just like with the Initial Lot The Owners aren’t doing ANYTHING ELSE to Develop the Property or It’s Esthetics. It really does look like these Odd Assholes are Building a True Life fucking DIRT FARM.

As You can Imagine while all this Happy Horseshit was and Currently still is going on Plenty of People have come up with Explanations and Hypothesis of Their Own. Here are Some Examples:

The Owners are DoomsDay Preppers.
They Built an Underground Meth Lab.
It’s an Illegal (in this State Currently) Marijuana Grow House.
It’s some Unknown Military Operation or Outpost.
They are Conducting Shady Scientific Experiments in an Underground Lab.
They’re a Militia or Cult who are Stock Piling Guns and Ammo.
They Build a Underground Torture Dungeon or a Kill/Murder Room.
They are Shooting Dark Web Shit There like a Red Room Situation.
They are Eco Terrorists Establishing a Secret Safe House of Sorts.
The Owner Built an Underground Bunker to Store Something Mysterious.
It’s a Training Ground/ Facility for The Military or Extremist Group.
The Military is Interrogating Captured Terrorists and POWS there in Secret.
The Are constructing an Underground Tunnel System for Something.
They are creating Their own Catacombs.
It’s Part of the Witness Protection Program like a Safe House.
They are Housing Illegal Exotic Animals There in a Underground Warehouse.
It’s a Top Secret Facility where the Government is Running an Illegal Cloning Program.
It’s a Secret Lab for Unspecified Genetic Testing.
They are Developing an Underground Bio Dome incase of a Nuclear War or Large Scale Chemical Attack Scenario.
They are Aliens or Alien-Human Hybrids and this is a Transmitting Hub that They have Established to Communicate with One Another.

Well all I can do is Wait, Watch, See what I see, and Try to Figure Out What They’re doing in My Neck of The Pines.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

The Human Hypocrisy in Death

Ever since Humanity Evolved the Intellectual Ability to Comprehend Death, that ALL things including Us will Die, and there’s No fucking Way around it. Due to the Fear of the Unknown (or in this case what May or May not lie Beyond in the Realm of Death) has Spawned everything from Organized Religion to The Exploration for an Actual Psychical Fountain of Youth.

All this Time, Effort, Money, and Concern in an Attempt to Cheat or Deny Death in the End. Forever Chasing The Ultimate Prize, the Trophy of Immortality.

There is though One Fate more Dreaded Than Death Itself, and thats To Linger barely holding on to Life while Sick, Suffering, and Wallowing in Pain.

So its No Wonder when it comes to People’s Beloved Animals once They come into Their Golden Years or to put it simply They Become Four Legged Senior Citizens. Once Our Pets Succumb to the Ravages of Old Age, As Their Teeth turn to Shit, They Loose Weight as well as Muscle Mass, Arthritis Takes Hold, Mobility and Bladder Control become An Issue, Senility, Their Eye Sight Dwindles, The Hearing goes Deaf, and We Deem that as “Having No Quality of Life”.We make one of the Hardest Calls Ever.

It’s said one of if not the Greatest Tragedy a Parent can face is Losing a Child because You’re Not meant to Out Live Your Children .They Out Live You and thats the Way it Is. Now based on that argument Pet Owners go through the same feelings of Loss, Depression, and Hopelessness as Parents do when They loose a Child, BUT Pet Owners will Experience such a Life Changing Loss Many, Many times during Their Lives.

As Humans We have Empathy and Compassion for Our Aged Animals, and would Never want to Prolong the Life of a Pet when all it has to Look Forward to is Slowly Suffering as it Creeps towards the Light. That is Why Not Only do We have Veterinarians to Heal/Cure Our Sick or Injured Pets, BUT, Veterinarians Provide a Service that is Alien in the World of Human Healthcare and that’s Euthanasia. And the Reason We have Euthanasia is to Relieve Our beloved Pets from Any and All Further Suffering. We all agree it’s the HUMANE thing to Do.

The Story though is Far Different when it comes to Humans and Death. Human’s for whatever reason can Justify the Sickness and Suffering of Elderly Family Members in particular. When a Relative becomes Gravely Ill and Whose’s End is Imminent We want Them to Be Pain Free and as Comfortable as Possible, BUT WE WON’T LET GO.

We throw Time, Money, Diagnostics, Medications, Tests, Medical Machines, Surgeries, and Doctors into the Mix to PROLONG a Loved One because THEY don’t want Them do Pass. People are fucking Selfish. People tend to Act in Their OWN Best Interest (Basically “I don’t want So-N-So to Die”) rather than that of The Sick and Suffering Family Member.

This Behavior has struck Fear into Many a Person’s Heart. The idea of Being Bed Ridden, Muddle Minded, In Pain, Soiling Ones Self, and Inability to Bath or Feed Oneself Trapped in the Confines of a Hospital Bed basking in the Soul sucking Florescent Lights. No One wants to Languish like a Living Corpse plugged into Menacing Medical Machines unable to Decide Your Own Fate as You wait Praying for the Sweet Release of Death.

This Fear gave Birth to a New Trend if You will The DO NOT RESUSCITATE (DNR) MOVEMENT. A DNR is often referred to as a “NO CODE”, an Advance Directive Document that Guides Medical Personnel to NOT PREFORM CPR or Otherwise try to Revive You/Family Member/Dear Friend if Their Heart has Stopped.

Once the Idea caught on DNR LEVELS were implemented which are as Follows:

Level 1: Stay in a Facility, and be kept Comfortable, BUT NOT Given Antibiotics or Other Medications to Cure You.

Level 2: Stay in a Facility and Receive ALL Medications AND Treatments possible Within Said Facility.

Level 3: To Be Transferred to a Hospital from a Nursing Facility, BUT NOT given CPR or Taken to Intensive Care.

Level 4: Be taken to a Hospital and Given ALL Possible Medical Interventions. DO EVERYTHING POSSIBLE.

Note: Level 1 and Level 2 Allow Someone to Die Naturally in Familiar Surroundings. Also Some States use Different Terms Such as:

AND: Stands for ALLOW NATURAL DEATH, used in End of Life Situations to be Clear that an End is Anticipated and the Natural Consequences of the Condition are Allowed to Proceed.

DNAR: DO NOT ATTEMPT RESUSCITATION, this should be Accompanied by SPECIFICS of which Forms of Interventions Can or Can Not be Used if One’s Heart Stops Beating.

The Moral to this Twisted Tale is This: Figure Out Your Personal Medical Wishes, and More Importantly MAKE THEM ABUNDANTLY KNOWN so They will be Honored.

(Note: Living Wills Don’t Mean Shit in the Medical World as there is so much bullshit Red Tape that Living Wills are Almost NEVER HONORED because the Hospital and Doctors have to Legally Cover Their Asses.)

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober (12:47am)