Category: FYB Updates

Let’s Our Reader’s Know What Is Going On with FYB At Any Given Time.

FYB Update: We’re Back on the Radar

We would like to take a Minute to Thank Our Fans for Sticking with Us even when We suddenly go Off the Grid. The Honest Truth of the Matter is We needed to take a Vacation from 2020 the Year Everything went to Hell in a Hand Basket and Everything turned to Shit. No even a Extremely Hardcore Natural Born Pessimist such as Myself could have predicted a Royally Fucked Up Shit Storm which is 2020. And Lets fucking Face it 2020 has You either so Depressed Your contemplating Drowning Yourself in Your Toilet OR so Enraged that Your Blood Pressure leaves You on the Verge of having a Massive fucking Stroke 24/7.

In Fact We are of the School of Thought that when it comes to the American Timeline that We “13th Floor” 2020 all together. Just as the Elevator’s in Hotel and the like go from Floors 12 to 14 skipping 13 since Plenty of People (More than You Realize) throughout History are Superstitious, and 13 is perceived to be an Unlucky Number. This of course is ridiculous version of Out of Sight Out of Mind and, it Worked as Long as there technically isn’t a 13th Floor (which Obviously there is since You can’t build a Building minus an Entire fucking Floor) People chilled the fuck out.

            

Thusly We hereby Suggest when it comes to the America’s Historical Timeline that We turn a Similar Blind Eye to 2020. It’s really quite simple just like the Elevator’s appears to skip the 13th We should modify The American Timeline. Once 2020 is finally reached its Chaotic and Utterly Fucked up end We erase it We’ll just have the Years go 2018, 2019, 2021 thus Illuminating the Memory and Denying the Existence of 2020 all together.

Anyway We desperately need to take some time off to Clear Our Heads and try to Reassemble Our Decaying Sanity. Just like the Cliche “Change of Scenery” or “Stretch Our Legs” We took a rather Impromptu Road Trip. You see Every Year We visit My Wife’s Family around Mid August for a Group Birthday Celebration. This is Due to the Fact My Wife, Her Two Cousins, and Her Uncle all have August Birthdays. Many Years back the Family decided to do One group Birthday Celebration as opposed to One after the Other after the Other and So On. The Only Issue this Year was They all live in The Great Souther COVID Ridden Swamp know as Florida, and with all the Negative Press on How Florida fucked up the COVID response Worst than Most States made for a Daunting Trip to say the Least.

           

Let’s face it Florida has and Always will be rather Fucked up and Home to a Wide Array of fucking Weirdos, Lunatics, and Fanatics even before the Coronavirus. I mean there actual Slang Terms (all of which are Negative) for Floridians because of Their Odd and Bizarre Mentality or Behavior. One of the Most Popular is the Term “Florida Man” which refers to News Stories pertaining to some Seriously Stupid, Careless, or Out Right Retarded People Joke that the Story has to be from Florida since they’re Known to be Half Assed Idiots. Then there is My Favorite Term “Floridiot” which is Self Explanatory. Lastly since Unfortunately America has been Ravaged by COVID Floridians fall into the Demographic go the Populous referred to as COVIDIOTS. COVIDIOTS are Anti-Maskers, Trump Supporters, COVID Conspiracy Nut Jobs, or Any Dumbfuck that thinks the Coronavirus is Exaggerated or Even a Hoax. Again essential Trump Supporting MAGAssholes.

           

Luckily for Us it Turned Out the County We were Visiting did in fact have a Mandatory Mask Mandate and Enforced (for the most part) Social Distancing which was a Pleasant Surprise and quite a fucking Relief. We only went where Necessary and Avoided Everything Else so No We didn’t go to the Goddamn Beach, Bullshit Bars, or Any Amusement Parks Populated currently by Complete Assholes. Thats not to Say We stayed Totally Hunkered Down in One Place the Entire Time and the Trip was one of the Easiest Going and Relaxing Trips I’ve ever taken to Florida aka Hell. Going into it based on all the Negative News about Florida I figured it be a Bunch of White Trash Trump Supporters running amok Coughing on Everyone, Sneezing on Every Surface while They Gleefully Spit into Each others Mouths.

           

The Most Entertaining part of the Trip was My Wife’s Eldest Cousin Cliff. Cliff was a Fanatic and Adamant Republican before He could even fucking Vote. Well After 2016 and the Following Four Years of the Escalating Destruction of America by an Orange Asshole He has Abandoned the Republican Party and is Now Voting Democrat. But that Not the Entertaining Part as We all Know or recently have become Aware Boating and Dipshit MAGAssholes have become a Hot Topic if You Will. All I can Say about Boaters for Trump is where the Fuck is a Category 5 Hurricane when You fucking Need One?! Anyway My Wife’s Family have always been Big into Boats and Cliff just so happen to have Bought a New Boat Recently.

Apparently one of the First things He did upon Purchasing the Boat was to Equip it with a Flag. Cliff chose a VERY LARGE Black Flag with the Red Lettering that says “FUCK TRUMP”, and Drives it past Boaters with Trump Flags for the Sole Purpose of Pissing Them Off. And Let’s face it Stupid People are Easily Angered. The Best Part if Cliff is an Insanely Intelligent Person Who has A Master Degree in Spanish-American History (The Spanish have a long fucking History in Florida), and He just Finished His Phd Thesis Paper. So when Moronic MAGA Maggots get all Butthurt about the Fuck Trump Flag Cliff and I Quote “I Have No Problem taking on Any of those Idiots.” Let’s Just Say I couldn’t be Prouder and Cliff has earned a Great Deal of more of My Respect.

            

We apologize again for suddenly (and until now Unexplainably) Gone Off Grid as They Say. We are Back and Back with a Fucking Vengeance and We will be Increasing the Amount of Content as a Direct Result. Stay Tuned and Thank You to Our Fans for Tolerating Our Erratic Brand of Insanity.

Thanks For Reading,

By Les Sober

What With All The Warning/ What Are All These Warnings About?!

In the Fledgeling Days of FYB I specifically Stated FYB Would NOT use Warnings of Any Kind as We Deemed it a Form of Censorship. I mean How the fuck do We have Free Speech under the First Amendment, BUT the same Government Who gave Us Freedom of Speech creates the Federal Communication Commission?! The FCC’s ONly Job is to Censor What People Can and Can’t Say or Show so again how the Fuck does that constitute Freedom of Speech for Fuck’s Sake?

What We discovered was Not placing any type of Warning on the Kind of Content We Traffic in (the Unconventional, the Unorthodox, Strange, Controversial, and Disturbing/Dark) Opened Us up to Shit Storm of Complaints, Objections, and Pissed off People.

            

Since We hate dealing with Bitchy People We Knew We had to go back to the Drawing Board. I ended up writing a Subsequent Post that We would Provide a “Head’s Up” to Our Fans if there was Objectionable Content contained within a Post. I simply and Lazily Adopted the TV/Movie Rating System only to Abandon it a Day Later. Why I thought would I want to Emulate What I Objected To?

So We were back at Square fucking One Again needing Some Sort of Acceptable Solution for Us and Our Fans. Utilizing the Premise of the “Viewer Discretion Advised” Model We collected a Small Variety of Different Warning Labels. This of Course raised Questions unto itself as to Why and What was the Reasoning behind the Selected Warnings. Well We have grown Weary of Repeatedly Explaining it to People on a Individual Basis thus We concluded a Proper Post was Needed pertaining to Said Warnings.

This is the Warning We use When We Personally DO NOT Think there is Anything Really all that Objectionable, BUT We use this Warning to Over Our Asses just incase.

This is Our General Warning which again is Not that Serious in Our Eyes, But the Colors seem to Garner a Stronger Sense that One SHOULD HEED THIS/THE WARNING.

This One is about a Simple and Straight Forward as Warnings Come. We use this Warning when We Know There is Content within the Post that a Great Number of People would find OFFENSIVE. We also use this Warning once in a while as a Second Additional Warning incase We think We should still Cover Our Asses a Bit More. Think of it Ironically as an Exclamation Point backing Up THE ORIGINAL WARNING again Just in Case.

This Warning is the One We Use when We are Serious about the Fact that said Post Contains OFFENSIVE, OBJECTIONABLE, OBSCENE, or Otherwise DISTURBING CONTENT contained within it.

This is the First of Our Top 3 Warnings which Should Not be taken at Face Value. If You see This Warning You Should Expect the Content in the Post is BEYOND A DOUBT OFFENSIVE/OFFENDING, SHOCKING, DARK, OBSCENE, DISTURBING, AND WILL ILLICIT A STRONG REACTION From Most People!!!

This Warning is Almost Identical to the One Above it with One Serious Exception. The Exception is the Second Line of the Warning that States”VIEWER DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED. If You see this Warning DO NOT take it Lightly. This Warning Guarantees there is More than Enough OBJECTIONABLE, OFFENSIVE, DISTURBING, SICKENING, SHOCKING, SEXUAL, GRAPHIC, VIOLENT, Or in Any Other Way Troubling. THIS WARNING IS NO JOKE so if You are Easily Offended, Angered, Sickened, or have a Weak Stomach DO NOT VIEW ANY POST WITH THIS WARNING!!!!!

This Warning is The End All Be All of Our Warnings. This is such a Serious Warning We have actually Only Used it Once or Twice over the Years. This essentially means what You are About to See is THE MOST ABSOLUTELY EXTREMEST, GRAPHIC, OFFENSIVE, OBSCENE, DISTURBING, SICK, TWISTED, DARK, VIOLENT, SEXUAL, DEMENTED, TRAUMATIC, AND DEEPLY TROUBLING Content Ever Created. If You See this Warning unless You’re HONESTLY a HARDCORE FAN of Some Seriously FUCKED UP SHIT then Please Do US both a Favor and SKIP IT. Again the Content in said Post is ONLY For the Most DIEHARD FANS OF THE EXTREME!!!!!!!

To be Truthful No One should Really View ANY Post with this Warning Period.

Thanks For Reading,

By    Les Sober & FYB 

FYB Update: Gone Fishing For Bullseye Snakeheads

FYB will Not Be Posting Any New Content Between 13th through the 15th of this Month. The Reason for this Unfortunate Delay is Due to the Fact I will be away from the Office having been invited to Fish for Bullseye Snakeheads Down South. I mean how could I not be Chomping at the Bit to Catch what the Media Dubbed THE FRANKENFISH! An Invasive Species that Decimates Local Environments by Eating the Native Fish, Frogs, Toads, Mice, Rats, Small Water Foul (ie Duckling), and Lizards until they’re simple are None Left. Their the Equivalent of a Swarm Hostile Aquatic Locusts. Bullseye Snake Heads are  Armed with Razor Sharp Teeth, Highly Aggressive Attitude, Ability to Breath Air (Allowing them to Survive 3 Days out of the Water), The Ability to Move Over Land, An Endless Appetite Devouring Anything in Their Way, and They Fight like Marlin when They’re  on the Line. This makes Them a Formidable Foe indeed.

Sincerely,

Les Sober  

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed

We would like to take the opportunity to let You know that due to circumstances beyond Our control (Unfortunately to Say Least) Our Dear Friend N@P needs a Friend as He has been Trudging through some Shit. Thusly FYB more than likely will Not Be Posting for the Next 48 hours or so as Helping Out Our Dear Friend is Now Priority Number One.

            

We Apologize for Any and All inconvenience and Please bear with Us. We can assure You We have Stock Piled a Great Deal of Brand New Crazy, Disturbing, Odd, Absurd, Funny, and Fucked Up Content in the Mean Time SO STAY TUNED KIDDIES!

           

Sincerely,

  Les Sober

The Salvation in Sundays.

Alright it’s Time for Another FYB Update so here We go.  As We get Our shit together More and More and prepare the Serious Rule 2020 some Changes Obviously had to be Made and some still Do in All Honesty. The Current Change is FYB will be Posting a Minimum of  One (if Not more which is Our Goal in the “Getting Our shit together” Department. Since We have rather Drastically Expanded and Increased Our Content adding a Whole Dimension to FYB which We sincerely Hope Everyone Enjoys as Much as We do.

Now Why We increase Our Posts FYB will Post 6 Days a Week and, FYB will NOT be Posting on Sundays. The reason is My Friends, Family and Doctor have Suggested, Encouraged, and Damn Near Demand I take a Day Off. I don’t like the Idea in the Least, BUT I do realize How beneficial it would be for Everyone Involved Myself Included. Not only would a Day off (from ALL Work or Work Related Projects) would seriously Aid in Preserving what’s left of My Sanity and Health as well as My Wife’s, Friend’s, Family, and the Few Full Time FYB Contributors turning around Here.

           

So I’m willing to try and Abandon My workaholic Tendencies for 24 hours once a week for Now. I know its Not just about Me and that a Change, even if it’s an Extremely Shitty One like this One in The End it’s about the Greater Good. Thank You to ALL THOSE who have stuck with Us through Our initial Issues, Evolution, and Growing Pains We really and truly Appreciate it more than You will EVER Know.

P.S. FYB Up Dates like This One are NOT considered Content so This isn’t Today’s Minimum Post.

Sincerely,

  Les Sober

2019 is Out 2020 is In

Happy New Year to All Our Readers Past, Present, and Future because let’s face it 2019 was kind of a Shit Year. The Fact is Teens Suck They’re Deliberately Dicks Plain and Simple. So fuck 2019 when I was 19 I was an Asshole Point Being 2019 was an Asshole of a Year.

2019 being a Properly Fucked Year theres Literally No Where to Go but Up From Here Friends. Keep Hope Alive for 2020 Friends Don’t Let the Shit Drag You Down, and Beware of The Slippery Slope. 2019 is fucking History it’s been Exiled to the Past. Presently We are the Verge of The New Day of a New Year providing Us with Endless Possibilities. Let The Past Be The Past for this is Our chance to Enhance Our Future Friends. Embrace The Chance.

Sincerely,

  Les Sober

The Hell In Holidays

So We at the Peak aka the Worst time of the Holiday Season being Post Thanksgiving Pre Christmas. Especially this Year since the Calendar Up and Decided to fuck Us out of a Week, and subsequently Additional Paycheck by Scheduling  Christmas 3 (Not the Standard 4) Weeks from Thanksgiving. This took the Hellacious Holliday Rigamarole up a Serious Notch or Two I Didn’t Honestly think it would matter, but I was Wrong. Very Wrong.

We Apologize that New Content has been Sporadic as of Late due to The Hectic Holiday Season. We will do Our Best to Post what We can When We can between Now and The New Year. Holidays here Equal a good bit of Traveling which Only Adds to the Christmas Chaos. Posting will Resume it’s Consistency and an Increase in  Content at The Beginning of the New Year on January 2nd (since We will all be Hungover like a Motherfucker New Years Day) Thank You for Baring with Us through the Horrific Holidays.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

Behind The Scenes And In Front of The Insanity…..

Tonights Post Has Been Postponed Due To The Fact I am Burned The Hell Out from Doing a Load of FYB Behind the Scenes Bullshit.

I spent the Day trudging through a Back Log of Posts that need to be Categorized and Tagged. I’m Stubborn, Belligerent, and Stand Offish. I have No One else to Blame but Myself.

I Ignorantly Ignored Organization. Now I have the Unpleasant Pleasure of doing Damage Control. There  Hundreds of FYB Posts that Languish in the Infinite Uncategorized Digital Purgatory where Past Posts Linger Lost in Limbo That need Rescuing.

FYB Started to Get its shit Together Merely a Year ago, and there is Now an Increased Need for New Content. FYB is Primarily to Showcase My Writing along with a Couple Others, but FYB is Evolving None the Less. It’s Morphing into My Own Personal Online Oddities Shop of Sorts. A Way to Elaborate on My Other Interests Outside of Writing Alone.

My Shoulders are Cramped. My Eyes feel like to TVs stuck on Static. My Brain is Failing Me. Thinking Straight is becoming Increasingly Difficult. I’m well worn Out and fucking Exhausted. I must Rest and Regroup for Tomorrow’s Harrowing Adventures Toiling Away Burning the FYB Candle at Both Ends.

10-4 Over and Out,

  Les Sober (12:57 am)