FYB Updates – Page 3

FYB Update: A Glimpse Behind The Cloak Part 2: Next Stop The Great Southern Swamp

So Once the Car Crash Chaos finally Calmed Down We were able to Hit the Road out of the Woods headed straight towards the Great Southern Swamp. Though We ended up leaving 3 fucking Horus behind Schedule (I hate being Late its a Pet fucking Peave of Mine) it was Mostly My fault I must Admit. I would go to do Something only to get Distracted along the Way thus Wasting a great deal of Time chasing My own damn Tail as it were.

In All Actuality I can’t complain I mean obviously I could be an Asshole of the Highest Order and Nit Pick something to Bitch about, But why the Hell do that?! Once We left it was smooth fucking Sailing all the Way No Shitty Weather, Traffic Jams, Road Construction, Road Delays, Accidents, Rush Hour Issues, and No Stupid Motherfuckers sitting at a Dead Stop in the Middle the Road (on a Blind Curve ) while Stealing Shit to Deal with it was Damn near Perfect.

Since We weren’t going to get to Where We needed to be until much Later then expected We decided not to get Pissed about it, and instead take Advantage of it by taking Our Sweet Ass Time. Fuck the Runaround, Rushing About, and the Rat Race fuck Them all. It was nice I have to admit not to be so Constricted by the Concept of Time it was quite fucking Peaceful.

We got a Good Nights Sleep and a Chance to Sleep in which is always Nice. After milling around Drinking Coffee to No End My Wife and I met up with Her Best Friend Dozie (and a Good Friend and Ex-Coworker of Mine). The first Order of Business was Lunch as Dozie was just getting off Work by the Time We were ready to Venture Out into the Surrounding Swamp. Since We live Deep in the Woods of The Southern Country We don’t have Certain things You can find Pretty much anywhere fucking Else, and in this Case it was a Deli. No Deli’s in the Boondocks I am afraid to Say.

After Lunch We rather Aimlessly Rode around Town checking out How Our Old Stomping Ground had Changed or Evolved since We got the Hell out of the Breath Southern Swamp. We also made Several purchases of Other Hard to Locate Living in No Man’s Land Items along the Way as Well figuring Why waste a Perfectly Good Opportunity?! As the Day Faded Away into the Oncoming Dark Night My Wife, Dozie, and I prepared Ourselves for a Evening out at The Eagles Our Long Time Favorite Local Dive Bar.

What Dozie was unaware of was that Over Time My Wife and I found a Following of Friendly People who Adore the shit Out of Us especially since We moved several Years Ago. My Wife dropped Me off at the Eagles and went to run to the Bank or some last minute mundane Task, and I went in ahead of Her and Dozie.

The First Person I ran into is a Gentleman Named Hatchet who instantly as He always does (and has for fucking Years) Yelled at the top of his fucking Lungs “HEY IT’S JESUS!”, and Then precedes to Shake My Hand and inadvertently fucking Break it with Drunken Excitement. Now Why Does He Refer to Me as Jesus? Why is My Nickname in General at the Eagles Jesus? Well I’ll leave it Up to You to figure that one Out.

During the Course of the Night I got to visit with My Favorite Eagles Bar Tender of all Fucking Time Audry who ironically was Tending Bar that Night. The New Bar Tender was alright She didn’t neglect anyone or Drag Her Ass in any way, but there was still that awkward Unfamiliarity hanging in the Air like a Lingering Fart. I got to See the Cast of Usual Suspects and Especially My Best Friend Mr. Percy most of All. It was a rather Lively Night at the Eagles which can be quite Low Key when it wants to be. There was Endless Rounds of Jello Shots, Chaotic Karaoke, and Some Alcohol Fueled and Related Auction for All Kinds of Random shit. There was like Your Basic Gift Basket, but Mostly it was Bottles of Booze or Heavily Booze Laced Desserts/Cakes, and the Fireball was Flowing Freely.

The Following Morning I woke up Nice and Early just so I could have the Pleasure of Puking. You know You’ve Partied Your Ass Off to Capacity when You Vomit During OR at The End of the Night. If You wake up and the First fucking thing You do is Vomit You know Last Night You abused the Hell Out of Your Liver, and More than likely You Damn Near did Your Liver in Once and For All. It’s one of Those Times where You wake Up, and say to Yourself Well I may Not be Quitting Drinking for Good, But I am for Quite a While.It’s the type of Hangover that Even when it’s Over it Still Haunts Your Memory.

A Little Later on that Pleasantly Sunny Morning My Wife and I had Brunch with Her Aunt and Uncle along with My Wife’s Younger Cousin and His Wife. Considering the Previous Nights Over Indulgence on My part this Brunch was Particularly Brutal just to Get Through. My Head was Fuzzy, My Eyes were Blurry, and I My Mind was Muddled as a Motherfucker Let Me Tell You. Weirdly at the Same Time it was really Pleasant on some Sick Level I suppose because all said and Done I ultimately enjoyed Myself.

The Restaurant We ate at was a Bit Too Fancy For Me as I’m so fucking LOW Maintenance its an Ongoing Joke.I went with the Family Flow and Ordered a 3 Course Lunch with Various Options in the Appetizer/Main Course/ Dessert Something or Other. The Appetizer I opted for Honestly was the Only fucking Option that sounded like anything I would actually Eat which was Black Bean and Bacon Soup. Did I mention How Hungover I was because that Soup was HEAVY AS FUCK! I mean while it Tasted Splendid as soon as it Landed in Your Stomach it Apparently turns into Instant Cement or at Least thats what fucking Felt Like. The Main Course was Fish so it was Delightful and Light on the Stomach which was still Reeling from the Dense Soup Scenario. The Dessert Deal turned out to be a Selection of Desserts in fucking Shot Glasses which I’m rather Ambivalent about, but thats just Me.

After the Meal was Over Everyone went Their different Ways, and My Wife and I circled around Back to Base Camp. My Wife spent Her time productively Completing Her Continuing Education Courses/Credits for this Year while I on the Other Hand took a Well Needed Nap to Fully Regain My Faculties. It was by by Definition a Power Nap as I awoke Feeling like My Normal fucking Self Again, I was Resurrected in the Land of the Living.

We reconvened that evening around 6 pm when I noticed that a Couple We Knew and were Good Friends with had Texted Us to see if We’d like to stop by Their House for Dinner, and to See the Puppy of Ours They Adopted a Year Back. I would like to take a second to acknowledge that Derrick and Terri are Great Owners, But Bernie (The Dog) turned out to be a Great Dog. Well Behaved, No Bad Habits, Listens to His Owners Etc.

I immediately conferred with my Wife and Texted Derrick and Terri back with an Enthusiastic Hell’s Yes. Unfortunately it turned Out Derrick had been doing Roofing Work that Day, and as Roofing goes He fucked up His Back pretty Bad. So Poor fucking Derrick had to Bail on Dinner to tend to His Beat Up Back, But We still stopped by and Saw Terri ad Bernie, Hung out for a while, Shot the Shit, had a Few Beers, and Laughed a lot. After Our visit We headed over to the Eagles once again to meet up with Mr. Percy and Thank God it was a much Slower Night at The Eagles. I was Happy because the other Night had been Fun as fuck sometimes Relaxing over a Few Drinks beats Partying until Dawn.

We Left the Following Morning after having Breakfast with My Wife’s Older Cousin who was in Town. We Managed to Stay on Schedule this time around and made Great Time. I honestly was a Little Impressed I must say. Again We were lucky as Hell not to have had to Deal with any Traffic/Road Issues like Holiday Traffic or Weekend Traffic for Example. Needless to say it was Splendid Not getting Stuck in some Aggravating bullshit along the Way. I enjoy the Ride because it’s Familiar, BUT Not to the Point of Monotony. This is a Very fucking Difficult Balance to Achieve None the Less Maintain the Test of Time. I find Boredom Deplorable and Truly Hellish in Many Ways so this Delicate Balance is Especially Important in My Mind.

Since We returned Home to the Woods much Earlier than Ever be for decided if We could Pick Up Our Big Dogs Tonight instead of having Wait till After Work the Following Day. It Save Us both Time and Money which I am Always in Favor of. It would just so Happen that even though it was well After Hours the Guy We Board with was willing to Stay Late and gave Us His Cell Number. We called and of course He said come on by which means see You in 45 minutes because again We live in the Middle of No Where Special. We managed to pick up the Big Dogs without to much Hyper Dog Drama except for When Big Dad Dog came flying cross the Front Desk into the Waiting Room.

Once We got Home Everyone Hit the Couch and fucking CRASHED being utterly Worn Out and Thoroughly Exhausted from Our Venture. Road Trips are fucking Fun, But at the same Time there’s Nothing Like Returning Home.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

FYB Update: a Glimpse Behind The Cloke

I apologize for the Last 4 Days of Dead Air for Lack of a Better Term in Our Posting of New Content. Thus it Only seems Fare to Let You know some of the Reasons Why so Please Refer to the Following.

Well it has become Apparent the Stand Off with the Neighbors is Going to be a Real Motherfucker. Being Impatient as Impatient can be I broke down and called My Contractor for Assistance. My Contractor “Fatback” Billy gladly came over with a Big Ass Chainsaw and Deposed of the Mess that consisted of a/the Neighbor’s Tree that had fucking Collapsed onto Our Property Royally fucking Up Park of Our Fence. “Fatback” Billy then Repaired the Fence even though He repeatedly Stated that He wasn’t a Fence Guy, but He’d do His Best. By doing this I had opted to Pay Out of fucking Pocket for the Clean up/Repair Now, and Seek Restitution of Sorts a Bit Later with Said Neighbors when the Timing was Better.

To be Completely Honest the Issue isn’t even about the fucking Money or Any Money whatsoever. As Far as I’m fucking concerned it’s the Sole Principle of the Matter at Hand that is the Important. For Me the Principle of the Matter is No One likes when shit like this Happens because it’s a Huge Pain in the Ass to Remedy Usually. Unfortunately though in this Case it did fucking Happen so Let’s Deal with it like fucking Adults . What I mean by Adult is simply Let’s Try and be Decent while Dealing with the Issue since We’ve Established Previously Sucks.

With that Said Needless to Say the Neighbor’s have been Nothing but Utter and Complete fucking Dicks, I talking Full Blown Full On Assholes of the Highest Caliber. Of Course I’m going to Immediately take Exception to that because if I have to “Play Nice” then So fucking Do You. Thus We find Ourselves Currently in the Eye of a Shiticane for Now at Least. Fucking Neighbors.

On a Brighter and Far Better note We managed to Haphazardly at the Last fucking Minute to Reschedule Our Vacation that We missed it initially Due to an Absolute Asshole Actually Parked in the Middle of the Road. You see After the Accident We got a Rental Car because Out here in The Woods there is NO Public Transportation Or Uber, and Walking Distance is given in Miles. The Only issue with the Rental (which was Actually Pretty Decent as Rentals go) was the Insurance would Only cover it for So Long thus We ultimately needed a New Car to Replace the Wrecked One.

The Process was the Standard Basic Standard of a Pain in the Brain. I do have to say that My Auto Insurance Company did conduct Their business in a Timely and Polite Fashion, and that I truly Appreciate it. So the Day after the Crash Our Auto Insurance sent a Claims Adjuster or The Guy Who Informs You How Fucked Your Car (and Thus You in Turn) Actually Are. This One was an Easy Job for the Claims Adjuster because the Car was Obviously Totaled.

This is where I nearly had a fucking Heart Attack simultaneously with a Massive Stress induced Aneurysm when I find out The Check for the Totaled Car DOESN’T Cover My Wife’s Car Loan. Also to My Wife at that Particular Point COULDN’T Remember if She had or Had Not Bought Gap Insurance when She Purchased the Car (again Honestly I fucking Forgot Too so that didn’t fucking Help Either).

This meant IF My Wife had in Fact Bought the Gap Insurance when it was Offered at the Time of Purchase it would Cover the Remainder of the Loan, and We’d Break Even which was fucking Fine by Us. If though She Hadn’t gotten the Gap Insurance Option We’d still be on the Hook for around $6,000 or So. Again it wasn’t Necessarily the Loss of Money (though it Didn’t fucking Help a lick for fuck’s Sake), but the Principle of the Matter.

What I mean is if the fucking Car is Totaled and the Auto Insurance Guys Report it’s fucking Totaled WHY fuck would I still be Obligated to Pay Off the fucking Loan. The Car is a Complete Loss, Utterly Unrepairable, Yet the Auto Loan Sacks of Shit are Going to make Us Pay Off the Loan in Full for like I said a Car that NO LONGER for all intents and Purposes fucking Exist Anymore. It’s Only Good for Scrap Metal. Talk about a Financial Fuck You. Thank the Universe My Wife did have the Foresight to Purchase Gap Insurance and We narrowly Dodged that Bullet.

Though We were Happy as Hell to Not be Shafted by Unnecessary or Unjust Financial Debt We had just bought the Previous Car less than a Year ago, and Now found Ourselves in the Exact same Place. We had come Full fucking Circle Back to Square One. There was Small But VERY SIGNIFICANT Acceptation this Time Around that was a Bonafide Game Changer.

My Mother as it were had been Away Summering in the North as She is Apt to Do when She was Hit from Behind sitting at a Traffic Light. In the End Her Car was Reported as Totaled because the Impact had Bent the Car’s fucking Frame thus making it a Complete fucking Write Off. Now it is Important for Clarification Purposes that My Mother being the Obsessive Micro Manager that She is God Bless Her DID NOT MAKE AN IMPULSE BUY, it was in Fact an IMPATIENT BUY. The Different being She was so Impatient to Return to the Southern Country to Check in on Everything and Everyone She made a Quick (and Inappropriate) Purchase. She made sure it was a Safe and Reliable Car with Good Gas Mileage and all that Happy Horseshit, BUT She still Longed for Her Recently Lost (Totaled) Car None the Less.

Most People when They By a Car text Pictures and Babble incessantly about it to Everyone under the Sun it Seems, Yet My Mother didn’t. She Texted one Picture of Her New Car with a Caption Reading “My Boring New Car” and “It’s an Ugly Color” for Example. She Then promptly Named the Car Boring in French. All My Mother did was Compare Her New Car to the Old One and Depressively Point out the Various Differences in Options Blah, Blah, Blah. Well when She came and Rescued the Big Dog’s from the Accident Site and Later She gave The Big Dogs and I a ride Home noticed My Mother had started to Once again Point out Things She didn’t like about Her New Car.

The Thing is Last Time My Wife had Bought a Car She had Test Driven the Same Car My Mother had Purchased. The Only reason She didn’t Buy the Exact Same Car was She got a Better Deal Dollar Wise on the Second Car in Consideration. I decided to take a Chance and Informed My Mother that if She didn’t actually like He knew Car (and I was guessing the Idea of a Do Over would make Her fucking Day) that She could Sell it to My Wife.

By the Time We arrived back at Base Camp My Wife had already been dropped off by the Tow Truck Driver on His was to the Local Tow Yard. My Wife Echoed the Exact same sentiment as I had thus really Driving the Idea Home. What can I say other than it Worked the Next Day My Mother was Out Hitting Up Dealerships looking for the EXACT SAME CAR as the one She Lost. The Only Tricky Part was that Particular Make and Model had Discontinued by the Company that made it. Apparently and Get this it was TOO fucking Popular and They Maker’s were making Too Much Money Hand over Fist, but I digress.

Well to make a Long Story a Little Shorter One thing Lead to Another and by the Time We had to relinquish the Rental Car My Mother and My Wife had Worked Out all the Needed Details. As it Turns Out for Reasons that I will Not go into because I find them Tedious My Mother Gave (or in Tax Terms Gifted) My Wife the Car so We now have the Luxury of Not be Bleed By a Long Term Car Loan from a Bunch of Son of a Bitch Bankers.

Speaking of Which When My Mother Finalized the purchase of Her most current Car the Money Man tried to get one Over on My Mother buy Selling Her a Warranty She didn’t Need or Want to the Tune of $400. My Mother was Worn Out at the Time and Made a Note to Double Check this Warranty Bullshit which She did. You must Understand that as Far as Anyone can or could Tell My Mother looks and Behaves like a Classic Little Old Lady, but if You fuck with Her or Her Money then You’re going to End up the One Who gets Fucked. She made just one Phone Call the Following Day to the Car Dealership where She bought the Car, and I have No Clue what the fuck She Said Yet the Reactions She got was Poetic Justice. The Money Man Himself called to Apologize and Immediately Refund My Mothers Money. It didn’t End there as My Mother received several Extremely Apologetic Phone Calls from the Car Dealership’s Management.

Looks like this Post that was Supposed to Cover All of The So Called Bases as Some might be Apt to Say, but I’m going to Split it into 2 Parts since I’m fully aware the Longer the Post the more of a Strain it is On the Eyes and Attentions Span. So Keep Your Eyes out for “Glimpse Behind The Cloak Part 2: Next Stop the Great Southern Swamp.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

This Wasn’t Planned

I was planning on writing Today’s Post to give Our Reader’s a Heads Up that We were going on a Road Trip because it is Time. What Time you may be asking Yourself?! Well it’s one of those Times in Life when You just simply need To Get Away from All the Usual Bullshit in Life. A Time to Leave all the Happy Horseshit in the Rearview Mirror to Stretch One’s Leg while Getting a Change of Scenery.

I was going to say that New Posts may be scarce while We were going to be on the Road, BUT Alas I’m sitting at Our Home Office writing this Post instead.

We were on the Way to Board Our 4 Big Dogs and Little did We know one Hell of a fucked up Story was about to Suddenly Unfolded front of Our Eyes. It started with a Car Totaling Accident, and Ended with Several Felons getting Caught and Subsequently Arrested. It is truly one of the Strangest fucking Stories I have ever had the Unpleasant Privilege to be a Part of.

SO since the Trip has been Postponed due to the Fact it was Our Car that was Totaled (and Yes of course the Assholes We ran into Their Vehicle didn’t get a single fucking scratch) We Now have to Stay fucking put and Deal with the Insurance Shit/Buying a New Car before We can hit the Road Again.

THUS I will be Posting the Story, with Actual Accident Scene Photos, in It’s ENTIRETY Tomorrow, and I assure You it is a Story thats GUARANTEED to Utterly Blow Your fucking Mind.

Until Tomorrow I will sit here and Continue to Lick My Wounds as They Say.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

FYB Update

We had a Few Issues that We meant to Address, but before We could They became a Real Problem. We have been Working with Our Tech People to Fix the Current Problem (and Underlying Issues) and Eliminate said Problem in the Future. We are Confident that as of This Evening FYB should be Operating/Functioning Properly. Regular Content Posting Shall Resume Tomorrow. For Now I am Breathing a Sigh of Relief, Cracking Open a Beer, and Sparking Up a Fatty in Celebration of Another Bullet Dodged.

I would like to Personally Apologize for ANY and ALL inconvenience this may have caused Our Readers. I along with the Small FYB Team Honestly and Truly Appreciate Your Interest and Support. Sincerely Thank You.

By Les Sober

Misc. 1 & 2

Dealing with TechTards is A Lot like The DMV. You call One motherfucker for Help and They tell You that You need to talk to This Person or That fucking Person, But it’s Never Actually the fucking Person You are currently Talking too.

First You have to fucking Fight whatever God fucking Awful Automated System that Acts as the fucking Gate Keeper. Then right as Your about to Lose Your fucking Mind and Have already Cursed Out the Automated Asshole System the First Customer Representative (CR) listens to Your entire fucking Story and then Tell You They will Transfer You which is the fucking Kiss of Death. Once You’re stuck on the fucking Transfer Train You will get Bounced around having to Tell 2,3,4 fucking Other CR You entire fucking Story all Over.

That or the First CR claims It’s NOT THEIR COMPANIES Fault, and that You should Call Every Other fucking Tech Company You also Deal with. If it’s the Latter and You’re instructed to Contact one of the Other Tech Companies You have to go through the ENTIRE FUCKING BULLSHIT PROCESS ALL OVER AGAIN. Usually just the Way DMV bounces You from Line to Line so will The Tech Assholes.

What I mean is They all Claim that there is ABSOLUTELY NO ISSUE on Their End so Its Someone Else’s Issue or Perhaps Your Computer is fucked. The Other Day I had to Log into FYB through a Backdoor of WordPress, and to do that I had to Log into Bluehost, BUT Blue Host was Loading. I did EVEY Trouble Shooting Trick in the Entire Goddamn Book before Begrudgingly Accepted the Fact I would have to CALL Bluehost.

I dread making these type of fucking Phone Calls because I get Angry and My Blood Pressure Sky Rockets like an asshole. One Day I may Suffer an Anger/Rage Induced Brain Aneurism I swear to God. I fought through the Automated motherfucker and reached a Real Person. Immediately after I told Him that My Issue was Bluehost’s Website wouldn’t Load Told ME it was in Fact MY INTERNET PROVIDER that I needed to Talk too about the Issue.

I wasn’t standing for any of this Happy Horseshit so I told Him quite Aggressively that My Internet is fucking Fine, and Not only That But I was Streaming the Shit out of Netflix, Tweeting on My Phone, Googling all Kinds of Crap, and Youtube was Up on My iPad. So the Problem isn’t My Internet I told Him because Obviously Everything I just Listed wouldn’t e Working Either.

The conversation then went in the Same shitty Circle for 15 Minutes before the CR gave Me a Tip to Trouble Shoot the Issue at Last. He then became utterly Obsessed with sending Me some fucking Sort of E-mail. I don’t know where that fucking E-mail Ended Up, But he sat on the Phone FOREVER and a fucking Day waiting for Me to Confirm I received it. I decided I had had Enough for one fucking Day, and Simply Hung Up.

2. For Our Lawyers Sake:

Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, Allowance is Made for “Fair Use” for Purposes such as Criticism, Comment, News Reporting, Teaching, Scholarship, and Research. Fair Use is a Use Permitted by Copyright Statute that might Otherwise be Infringing. Non-Profit, Educational or Personal Use tips the Balance in Favor of Fair Use.

Click to access dmca.pdf

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

+++DISCLAIMER+++

+++DISCLAIMER OF/FOR FYB CONTENT+++

We at FYB mush make this ABUNDANTLY CLEAR,

FYB DOES NOT OWN Any Rights to ANY of the VIDEOS, MUSIC, PHOTOGRAPHY/PHOTOGRAPHS, Art Work or Illustrations show Here at/on FYB.
FYB is NOT Affiliated or Associated with ANY of the Above Mentioned Work or The Artist/Photographer/Musician/Videographer.
We here at FYB have Nothing but the Utmost Admiration and Respect for all of the Projects as well as Their respective Creators.
All We here at FYB wish to do by Showcasing these works is to Hopefully Garner them some more Attention thus widening Their Audience because We here at FYB are committed Fans.
FYB does NOT wish to Take Credit for Any Artist’s Work that is showcased here on/at FYB NOW AND FUTURE.
FYB does NOT wish to in ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM to Exploit Any of the Artists or Their Work that We use here on/at FYB
FYB MOST CERTAINLY DOES NOT WISH TO BENEFIT MONETARILY OR OTHERWISE from ANY of the Artists or Their Work.
FYB takes the matter(s) pertaining to Intellectual Property EXTREMELY SERIOUSLY and DO NOT wish to Offend, Insult, Anger or in any other Way Upset Any Artists, We are Fans and as such want to get as many Eyes on the Material/Work to hopefully aide in Increasing Awareness of It’s existence to the World.

Thank You Dear Reader’s for Your Time and Attention in Regards to this Disclaimer.

Sincerely,

Les Sober

FYB Update of Goings Ons: WordPress Live Vs. The Bluehost

Hello Dearest of Reader,

As You may be Aware We’ve been doing some Seriously Long Overdue Improvements here at FYB from Additions such as Videos ( I know I said LONG Overdue) to Software to Help Maintain FYB, and Insure that FYB runs Smoothly and Unimpeded for Our Readers.

I have decided to at least for the time being Limit the Number of Projects I’m working On/With. This way I have More Time to be Properly Committed to FYB. We have Revived Our Small devoted Crew, and We are all dedicated to The Goal of Improving FYB Any and All ways We can.

We fully realize We have some Serious Catching Up to do so Please Bare with Us just a Little longer, and You won’t be Sorry I can most Assuredly Guarantee You That.

To Help Us make up for Lost Time We decided to Enlist the Aid of WordPress Live. WordPress Live in the Computer World is rather New, and was Designed to Help Users of WordPress (which obviously We are). They are Dedicated to Improving, Expanding, and Promoting Their Sites/Blogs. So it sounded like exactly what We need right now to expedite Our Improving FYB.

THEY ARE NOT TECHNICAL SUPPORT & YOU WILL STILL HAVE TO CALL YOUR HOST PROVIDER FOR TECH RELATED PROBLEMS/ISSUES.

With that said Here’s What the fuck is going on Currently, and I will keep the boring Tech details to an absolute minimum since they’re as boring to write as They are to read trust Me and Here We Go.

As it always seems to this shitnado started when one of the New Security Alert programs brought an issue to Our attention. The message read basically To Whom It Concerns there’s a fucking issue. The issue is Your site is being blocked from being indexed on Search Engines. Yes Like Google and EVERYONE on Earth fucking lives on fucking Google.

Well as We all know having a Blog with NO PRESENCE ON GOOGLE is a serious fucking issue to have. Without Google (and Other Search Engines) it be like opening a Retail Store without advertising We’re talking there isn’t even a Sign on the Door. I mean what’s the fucking point if NO ONE KNOWS YOUR SHOP IS EXISTS?!

First Off I say We because it was a Multi Team Player Scenario. I was on the Phone as well as SpaceDog, and Nathan McCoy all at the same time in an Insane Round Robin Style Situation. At least one if not all 3 of Us were on the fucking Phone at any given time Working Non Stop to Resolve The Issue and Solve the fucking Problem.

We first called WordPress Live (WPL) who bent over fucking backwards doing EVERYTHING They possibly could to Help Us and then some. At the end of the Conversation it looked to be a Tech issue which means its Our Hosting Service Bluehost’s Jurisdiction as I mentioned before WPL are NOT TECH Support.

We called Bluehost (BH) who once again proved to be NOTHING BUT UTTERLY FUCKING USELESS. The Guy We talked to sounded like He was literally about to fucking commit Suicide, and didn’t seem to give a shit about doing His job that’s for shit sure.

The BH Guy would mumble some sort of computer terminology, ask Me to hold REPEATEDLY as He did whatever the fuck it was He kept doing. Now He didn’t put Me on the standard Hold with shitty Elevator Music He just stopped fucking talking. So I’d sit for 20-25 minutes listen to this asshole Type while Breathing in My Ear like a fucking obscene Phone Call.

The call concluded with the BH Guy was He could do a damn thing to help Me as apparently He said “Everything Looked Fine” and ‘Check Out Normal” leaving Me with just One Option. The Option was to send a Report via e-mail to BH Administrators and wait 24 TO 36 Hours (More like 48-72 hours in Reality) for a response still fucked with the Presenting Problem mind You.

I call WPL again where a Extremely Nice Woman went above and beyond the Call of fucking Duty to Try and Assist Us. Unfortunately She couldn’t locate the Problem, BUT She wasn’t leaving Us empty handed. She went on to tell Us VERY DETAILED and EXTREMELY SPECIFIC Directions for Us to relay to BH who had been having a Problem locating the Problem as Well. The Number One Offender if You will in Her experience would be a Robots.TxT File running Amok like an asshole.

We call BH back again, and again Some Sad Sack of Shit Woman drones on about How They can’t see any issue at all. This Time We give Her the Instructions that were given to Us by WPL. The Woman says as far as the first order again She couldn’t find fuck all wrong, and then She tells Us There is No Robot.Txt File it simply doesn’t seem to exist as far as She was Concerned.

SO fucking off We go calling WPL back. Tis time the Wonderfully Nice Lady assisting Us located the Problematic Robot.txt file, but NOT being a Technician She couldn’t actually fix it. We told Her Our ongoing issue with BH claiming They can’t see nor find an issue in the first fucking place.

She immediately e-mailed Us everything We needed to know pertaining to Our current situation. Armed with a Proper Diagnosis and a Set Plan for BH to follow so They could do Their fucking job and ACTUALLY FIX SOMETHING We felt the most positive had Had in the past 5 fucking Hours dealing with Our Issue.

Back at BH the Fuckwit We talked to couldn’t Help Us, in fact once again BH couldn’t GO A GODDAMN THING TO HELP. We lost Our fucking Minds as We REPEATEDLY told the BH Assfuck WHAT the Issue WAS and WHERE IT WAS LOCATED AT.

This worked to No Avail. Apparently even with WPL Diagnosing the Problem, and Locating the Offending Robots.Txt File BH claimed They were Absolutely Oblivious. We the informed the Prick that BH’s Service SUCKS SHIT, Their Customer Service is Complete Unadulterated CRAP, and We would be Sure to NOT Renew with Bh Next Year (Also We informed Them We would be screaming about BH’s Never Ending Bullshit to The Fucking World or Internet in this particular case.)

The Day Ended with a final call to WPL were We essentially just vented in exhausted frustration in the utter lack of competence over at BH, and Most Importantly the fucking Problem had NOT be Fixed. The WPL Guy was very cool and Let us Vent before doing everything He could think of to Help Us out, but it was basically a fucking Waiting Game.

The following Day (Friday) We attended to all of Life’s Demands We had not been able to attend to the previous Day due to the ongoing, and possibly still unresolved issue. I for one spent the Day checking My fucking E-mail like a Love Sick Tween for incoming E-mail from the BH Administrator which never came.

Saturday Morning I get an e-mail from a BH Administrator simply telling Me that They got My fucking report, but right now They are experiencing a High Volume of E-mails currently so IT WILL TAKE THEM EVEN LONGER to get around to doing dick.

I then out of curiosity called Our Security Company who said They were unaware of the Situation as They hadn’t identified and Blocked any sort of Bot issue stemming from a Robots.TxT File. The Security Guy after hearing the whole fucking story suggested We contact the Software Maker’s Themselves since BH and WPL were falling short in solving the Problem. My Wife then spent a while Online researching and Learning about the Plug In Piece of Shit that had Alerted Us to begin with.

My Wife after about 20 minutes online called BH and spoke with a Woman who was the 1 in 100 that knew what the fuck She was Doing. It always seems like calling Tech Support that Your playing Russian Roulette with The Customer Service Reps. It’s as if You have to see how many it will take BEFORE YOU FIND The One Helpful Bastard in the Buch. Anywho My Wife and the BH Woman found a Viable Solution and We Simply ended up Uninstalling/Deactivating the Problematic Plug In.

Several Hours Later I fucking around Online and still a bit bent about how such a simple solution has eluded so many PAID PROFESSIONAL COMPUTER TECH SUPPORT FUCKERS as well as THE OTHER COMPUTER PROFESSIONALS involved Who look far too long to deliver actual Resolution.

I found out the Plug In Program We had had issue with had an Override Option that needed to Be SPECIFICALLY Selected TO AVOID THE VERY PROBLEM WE WERE HAVING. My Point is why didn’t the PAID COMPUTER PRO who recommend the Plug In in the first fucking place DIDN’T MENTION THAT EXTREMELY FUCKING IMPORTANT FACT, The one that keeps Your Site from being Blocked from Google by the Very Plug In that’s supposed to improve shit.

What is The Moral to This Twisted Tale You ask?!

WordPress Live are Incredibly Helpful, Positive, Encouraging, and Knowledgable. They will willingly do EVERYTHING They can to Help You NO MATTER HOW fucked up the Problem. Dealing with WPL is comforting like Dealing with an Old Friend instead of some Pion Cog in a Massive Corporate Machine. WPL is The Best Computer Service We have EVER COME ACROSS AS WELL AS USE. We simply can’t say Enough Kind Words about WPL.

and as far as Bluehost is concerned………

Bluehost fucking sucks so fucking bad it’s like nothing We have ever encountered before. From the Lackluster Clinically Depressed sounding IT Reps to Their complete inability to preform even the simplest of Their Job Functions. The Administrators are no fucking better the lazy sacks a festering shit. All fucking Bluehost does is Apologize. It’s apparently ALL They can fucking do since They can’t fix a fucking thing.

We Have Included a Video Below By One of FYB’s Favorite Musical Oddities, and would like to Dedicate it ToThe Sad Sack Sons of Bitches over at Bluehost.

Play it Safe and Save Your Sanity BOYCOTT BLUEHOST.

Long Live WordPress Live!

Thank for Reading,

By Les Sober

Facebook Follies

Hello Readers,

I would like to Apologize in ADVANCE for the Lack of New Content for the Next Day or Two. I know You all must be getting tired of these interim issues, and again I apologize.

This is a Small Independent Operation of a handful of Like Minded Writers and Artists as such WE ARE BROKE AS HELL. Thats why We have to work exponentially harder to promote Ourselves than some of these other Blog Bitch Asses that hire a Professional Public Relations Department for Hundreds of Dollars a Month. Then They sit back and act Arrogant like They had something to do with the Promotion of Their Product.

People have suggested going the GoFundMe route to raise funds, But I have a strong aversion to that idea (for now anyway). I’m Hard Headed as Hell and Stubborn as shit.

Its more than likely a fucking Pipe Dream, but I’d LOVE to keep FYB totally Independent because the more outside influences invade FYB the more the Product will/would suffer.

Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen and The Food Goes to Shit as “They” say. Only Time will Tell.

Anyway We are experiencing a All Hands On Deck to handle/combat the FACEBOOK PROMOTION PROBLEM. You see as Much as I despise FB its fucking FREE. And lets face even with The Cambridge Analytical (and other crooked as fuck shit orchestrated by MARK “Face Book” Zuckerberg) People are SO fucking ADDICTED They still use FB.

Even if They Object to all the Pimping of Personal Information to fuck knows Who, and for God knows for what fucking Purpose They can’t say NO MORE and QUIT FB. They’re strung out Social Media Junkies, FB is The Opium of the Masses circa 2019.

Well if You remember quite a few Moons ago I tried to Return to FB for the reason of FYB Promotion and 48 fucking hours later I was LOCKED OUT OF MY PERSONAL PAGE AND FYB’S PROMO PAGE.

Apparently FB tends to think I’m a Bot which is Mind Boggling. So I Said “Well I tried and FB still SUCKS DONKEY KONG DICK.” It has been suggested to Me that in My Manic Intensity jumping fully into the Project could lend someone to believe I must be a fucking Machine to work that Fast. And That Was That.

I realized recently I needed to get over Myself, Burry the Preverbal FB Hatchet, and Start Anew.

A Good Bud of Our’s by the Name of Norman McCoy volunteered to step in as Our Interim Social Media Supervisor, and We more than Happily took Him up on His offer.

On Tuesday Evening of this Evening McCoy has to a Free minute so He set up a Face Book Page to Chronicle the Goings On at FYB.

Wednesday McCoy logged into FB and spent an Hour and 17 minutes just putzing around more or less. That was until FB cut in and subjected McCoy to an impromptu Security Check. McCoy FULLY COMPLIED as best He could. I say that because some of the Questions didn’t have actual answers.

One of the Numerous Questions was the Bot Check You know the one where they show You a bunch of random Pictures and ask ‘Which are Pictures of Roads, Houses, Bridges etc. BUT FB’S READ ONLY: What am I Looking At?

It never specified WHAT You were supposed to be looking for to Answer the goddamn Question. So McCoy had to guess what the fuck FB wanted and replied “Random Street Scenes.”

After FB sudden and Schizophrenic Security Questions They demanded a Picture of McCoy sent to Them for “Review” WHICH HE DID SEVERAL TIMES. Yet FB has effectively locked Him out of the Account pending Their bullshit fake as fuck Security Picture Demand. I think its Safe to Say FB won’t be letting McCoy back in ANYTIME SOON or EVER for that Matter.

We took a internet stroll over to Good Old Reddit to see if anyone else knew what the fuck was going on as McCoy hadn’t violated FB’s Rules & Regulations as far as We and He were/are Aware.

We found more than a few People who were facing FB issues similar to McCoy. People were confounded as They too had been suddenly and unceremoniously by FB for Unknown reason(s) to Them. Some Poor Users managed to straiten the issue out ONLY TO HAVE IT HAPPEN AGAIN AND AGAIN every several Days to Weeks to Months.

SO as far as Any of Us can decipher is it looks like after YEARS of virtually \unrestricted Use FB finally caved into PUBLIC PRESSURE to seriously beef up Their so called Security.

Also getting caught red fucking handed LYING, DECEIVING, and EXPLOITING FB User’s and selling Their Personal Information played a HUMUNGOUS part in FB’s PHONY APOLOGIES & BULLSHIT PROMISES to do better (and NOT COMPLETELY FUCK OVER Their Users FOR PERSONAL GAIN OR PROFIT.)

Thus FB is Scrambling Frantically Back Peddling like the Scumfucks They are to “Fix” the problems mentioned above. And in doing so have built a chaotic BiPolar Frankenstein Security “System” of some sort. Point is due to time requirements FB is SO HALF ASSING IT.

Regardless of all the issues, problems, and bullshit We at FYB have experienced with The FB Fucks We have NOT GIVEN UP. NOT BY A LOOOOONG SHOT.

We have phoned in a Designated Hitter if You will in Our Dear Friend, and Long Time FYB Family member Mr. JJ Jackson.

We Will Be Back, Just Try and Stop Us Fuckerburg. All You can do is Delay the INEVITABLE:E VICTORY OF FYB ON/OVER FACE BOOK.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

Movie Lovers This is for YOU………

If Your the type of Movie Fan that enjoys B Horror, Splatter, Slasher, Documentary, Independent, Troma, Punk Sci Fi, Underground, Banned, Forbidden, Controversial, Shockumentary , Giallo, Mondo, Grindhouse, Foreign, Cult, Unconventional, Experimental, Apocalyptic Sci fi, Gorno, Splatstick, 70’s & 80’s Cannibal, Speculative Sci Fi or Found Footage Movies then This My Friend is for YOU………

COMING SOON FROM

N@P Inc., Lost Soul Studios, and Ponder This Pictures

in Conjunction With

Perverse Pictures and F-YourMovie

Present The TR McCoy’s Darkly Demented Documentary

“Shoot My Face Off…I LIKE IT! : Gamings Greatest Urban Legend”

In the Fall of 9/23/05 the Gaming World was set on FIRE like NEVER BEFORE when The Secretive Japanese Video Game Company Seki No Owari Released Their Instant Hit “Shoot My Face Off…I LIKE IT!”

By 12/16/05 “Shoot My Face Off…I LIKE IT!” was BANNED IN 189 out of the 195 Countries Around THE WORLD, was #1 on The Forbes 500 List, Revived the Underground Gamer Black Market, Discontinued by Seki No Owari who then went on to Destroy ANY AND All Evidence that the Game EVER EXISTED.

Billions of Dollars. Millions of Questions. Hundreds of Investigation.

ZERO ANSWERS.

(Please Enjoy The Following Collection of Movie Posters)

Thanks for Reading & STAY TUNED! By Les Sober

From The Frying Pan into The Fire: Life Working in f-yourblog’s R&D Department

To Our Loyal Readers I feel I owe you an explanation. I wrote a Post way back when that stated f-yourblog’s mission and creative process, but like all things evolution will prevail.

One of the various reasons f-yourblog has been a bit of a neglected child is there are intact several different projects We have in the works. With so many pokers in the fucking fire time management has always been the key, and I have a flawed concept of time.

I act mainly as Creative Content and consement Idea Man. I rarely have a single fucking clue how to pull off any of my grandiose ideas. I’m basically broke, Tech Inept, and have little patience for technology which I have come to utilize as well as despise. Evolution like I said is unstoppable.

I chosen method of learning seems to be the trade and true “Trial By Fire” school of thought. I also can get easily distracted by working on numerous projects so in the immediate future I will be delegating much more responsibility.This is so I can devote my total time and attention to one project at a time which is what they deserve.

I decided it be simple enough to give our Readers a brief peak behind the preverbal curtain as it were. Here are a few of Our ongoing projects.

We are furthest to completion with Our “2 Guys Talking Shit” Podcast showcasing the insane thoughts of SpaceDog, Les Sober, and Friends as the discuss all the mayhem and madness in their minds in Real Time.

2. Our current Book in the works Global Graffiti : A Retrospective in Street Art as I mentioned in Our last Post is a Pictorial Collection of Graffiti from/found around the World. Graffiti has become an essential and integral part of evolving Global Societies serving as both Art and as a Current Social Compass. Graffiti is the Underdog of the Art World (and who thought the pretentious Art assholes could shit on anything more than they shit on Photography?!!), AND I FOR ONE LOVE UNDERDOGS.

3. We are close to establishing a Cross/Dual Promotion with Our dear Friends over at N@P who are incredible Artists in their own right. Some of N@P’s digitally altered Photographic Graphics have already been feature in 2 of f-yourblog’s previous posts recently.

4. We are entertaining doing a Vlog type scenario to accompany Our soon to be released Podcast where Fans would go from Readers, to Listeners, and then end up as Viewers (Evolution Again). Essentially it would be a video of Us all while we abound into obscene absurdity thats guaranteed to Entertain as much as it Offends.

I’m not so sure about this idea because I’m paranoid when it comes to technology (internet/social media) when it comes to my privacy. Also I think the idea of just using a disguise be it a Mask or Make-up etc. is a bit cliche, BUT really if one goes the hidden anonymity route via a disguise its not as easy as one would think.

A good disguise is a true art form because any asshole got put on a mask or lather themselves up in fucking face paint.

5. Perverse Pictures is the Indie Movie company thats in its infancy. I have always been a prolifically rabid movie fan since I was fucking born. I also am a Great Admirer of Lloyd Kauffman and Troma Pictures who have been dealing in Independent Film for literally as long as I have been Alive.

Also as of recently (sometime last year) became an admirer of the New Cult Classic “The Room” and its infamously mysterious, intriguing, and passionate Writer/Director/Star Tommy Wiseau.

I dream is to one day to collaborate with both Mr. Kauffman and The Troma Team, and Mr.Tommy Wiseau one day. It be fucking unbelievably grand.

(Above On Left Tommy Wiseau / On Right Lloyd Kauffman w/ The Toxic Avenger)

The 2 Films We have in the Works are:

“The Cannibalistic Cocaine Cartel” by Justin Sane – See What Happens when Criminals and Cannibals Go Hand in Mouth.

“Shoot My Face Off I Like It” a Documentary by Your’s Truly focusing on the Video Game of Urban Legends.

6. Revenge Records is a label I’m establishing as a Home for the Wayward Unconventional or Unorthodox Indie Acts. Lets face it the Big Lables are all but fucking Dead to begin with. Youtube reigns as the New Agent that represents ANYONE from ANYWHERE around the World.

The only issue with Youtube is its 2018 and it/the market is FLOODED with Millions of Posts in a single fucking day. They grossly outnumber talented Acts/People and they drown in a Sea of Mediocrity obscured by the mundane. It was easy in the beginning when there were only a few thousand videos a person could view., but Justin Bieber blew up Youtube, and every idiot came running.

This makes Independent Record labels more vital than ever as the Mediators for the transition from The Old School Ways to The New School Methods.

7. The Lost Souls Studios goes hand in hand with Revenge Records because whats the point of being a Record Label and paying some outside asshole for the use of their recording facilities. If you make Records then you need a place to Record so it just seems blatantly obvious that you should posses your own Studio. Its a “If you want it done right do it Yourself” meets “Why pay for something you can do Yourself”.

Lost Souls isn’t just for Musicians. You want to do Spoken Word, Record Reading a Book, Recording a final Will and Testament, Hell I don’t care if you want to record yourself taking a 7 hour shit if you think theres Artistic Value to it.

Lost Souls will also serve to benefit Perverse Pictures as most if not all Indie movies have to come up with or write their own soundtrack because Royalties are absolutely fucking outrageous. And again it helps if you own your own Studio.

8. Finally We have Ponder This Productions. This again will Aid in Lost Souls Records as well as Perverse Pictures. I chose the name because I believe in shit, art included, that makes you HAVE TO THINK. You want 2 hours of mindless so called entertainment go see a Micheal Bay CGI shitshow. The sign of a good Movie or Song to me is the same. If I see it or hear it AND then find myself thinking about it the next day I’m hooked.

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober