I think there is one thing Everyone goes Through when They get Their Drivers License beside suddenly having A Lot of New Friends (who all seem to need a Ride). What I am Referring to is the Parental Tutorial that’s usually Instigated by One’s Father on being a Responsible Driver.
I remember My Father telling Me to Have a Bag of Cat Litter incase I got stuck especially in the Snow, Change the Oil very 5,000 even I Didn’t think it was Important, Keep Road Flares in the Trunk incase You break down on the Side of The Road Somewhere, Remember to Check the Oil, Periodically Check Your Spare Tire (because the Last thing You need is to get a fucking flat and THEN discovering Your Spare is Flat Too), Wear Your Seatbelt No Matter What, Always have Jumper Cables in the Car, and to Maintain the Windshield Wipers (there’s No Point in Windshield Wipers if They’re Old, Ratty, and You can’t see Shit.) among Other Things.
Since Cars have Been Around since 1885 it lead Me to Wonder what the Tips for being a Responsible Driver would have been. I found a Few from 1903 through 1919 and Proved to be Way More Amusing than I ever Anticipated, and For that Reason Here They Are:
The Original Old School Hints for Happy Motoring:
- Your Engine is Overheated if Steam Rises when You Spit on it. Better Check Your Radiator.
- To Remove Dirt and Water from Gas Strain It Through a Chamois (a Type of Soft pliable and Porous Leather made from Sheep or Lamb Skin).
- Dump a few Oatmeal Flakes into a Leaking Radiator. They will Swell and Fill the Hole. In Emergencies, Dried Horse Manure will Also Work, and is Usually Available.
- Chewing Gum will mend a Leaky Fuel Line.
- Pump a Mixture of Chopped Feathers and Hot Molasses into a Worn Tire to Extend its Life. Messy incase of a Blowout.
- Guns are No Longer Needed Except in Certain Far Eastern States.
- Celluloid Windows are Best Cleaned with Vinegar.
- A Windshield Rubbed with a Sliced Onion will Stay Clear on Rainy Days.
- A Traveler’s Emergency Equipment should include a Rubber Lap Robe, Goggles, Tow Rope, Pump, Tire-Patching Kit, Canvas Bucket, Cans of GAs and Oil, Block and Tackle, Compass, Tire Chains, Small Tent and Sleeping Bags.
- Some States Have Speed Limits so Drive with Care.
Thanks For Reading,
By Les Sober
(Posted@12:55am)