We would like to take a Minute to Thank Our Fans for Sticking with Us even when We suddenly go Off the Grid. The Honest Truth of the Matter is We needed to take a Vacation from 2020 the Year Everything went to Hell in a Hand Basket and Everything turned to Shit. No even a Extremely Hardcore Natural Born Pessimist such as Myself could have predicted a Royally Fucked Up Shit Storm which is 2020. And Lets fucking Face it 2020 has You either so Depressed Your contemplating Drowning Yourself in Your Toilet OR so Enraged that Your Blood Pressure leaves You on the Verge of having a Massive fucking Stroke 24/7.
In Fact We are of the School of Thought that when it comes to the American Timeline that We “13th Floor” 2020 all together. Just as the Elevator’s in Hotel and the like go from Floors 12 to 14 skipping 13 since Plenty of People (More than You Realize) throughout History are Superstitious, and 13 is perceived to be an Unlucky Number. This of course is ridiculous version of Out of Sight Out of Mind and, it Worked as Long as there technically isn’t a 13th Floor (which Obviously there is since You can’t build a Building minus an Entire fucking Floor) People chilled the fuck out.
Thusly We hereby Suggest when it comes to the America’s Historical Timeline that We turn a Similar Blind Eye to 2020. It’s really quite simple just like the Elevator’s appears to skip the 13th We should modify The American Timeline. Once 2020 is finally reached its Chaotic and Utterly Fucked up end We erase it We’ll just have the Years go 2018, 2019, 2021 thus Illuminating the Memory and Denying the Existence of 2020 all together.
Anyway We desperately need to take some time off to Clear Our Heads and try to Reassemble Our Decaying Sanity. Just like the Cliche “Change of Scenery” or “Stretch Our Legs” We took a rather Impromptu Road Trip. You see Every Year We visit My Wife’s Family around Mid August for a Group Birthday Celebration. This is Due to the Fact My Wife, Her Two Cousins, and Her Uncle all have August Birthdays. Many Years back the Family decided to do One group Birthday Celebration as opposed to One after the Other after the Other and So On. The Only Issue this Year was They all live in The Great Souther COVID Ridden Swamp know as Florida, and with all the Negative Press on How Florida fucked up the COVID response Worst than Most States made for a Daunting Trip to say the Least.
Let’s face it Florida has and Always will be rather Fucked up and Home to a Wide Array of fucking Weirdos, Lunatics, and Fanatics even before the Coronavirus. I mean there actual Slang Terms (all of which are Negative) for Floridians because of Their Odd and Bizarre Mentality or Behavior. One of the Most Popular is the Term “Florida Man” which refers to News Stories pertaining to some Seriously Stupid, Careless, or Out Right Retarded People Joke that the Story has to be from Florida since they’re Known to be Half Assed Idiots. Then there is My Favorite Term “Floridiot” which is Self Explanatory. Lastly since Unfortunately America has been Ravaged by COVID Floridians fall into the Demographic go the Populous referred to as COVIDIOTS. COVIDIOTS are Anti-Maskers, Trump Supporters, COVID Conspiracy Nut Jobs, or Any Dumbfuck that thinks the Coronavirus is Exaggerated or Even a Hoax. Again essential Trump Supporting MAGAssholes.
Luckily for Us it Turned Out the County We were Visiting did in fact have a Mandatory Mask Mandate and Enforced (for the most part) Social Distancing which was a Pleasant Surprise and quite a fucking Relief. We only went where Necessary and Avoided Everything Else so No We didn’t go to the Goddamn Beach, Bullshit Bars, or Any Amusement Parks Populated currently by Complete Assholes. Thats not to Say We stayed Totally Hunkered Down in One Place the Entire Time and the Trip was one of the Easiest Going and Relaxing Trips I’ve ever taken to Florida aka Hell. Going into it based on all the Negative News about Florida I figured it be a Bunch of White Trash Trump Supporters running amok Coughing on Everyone, Sneezing on Every Surface while They Gleefully Spit into Each others Mouths.
The Most Entertaining part of the Trip was My Wife’s Eldest Cousin Cliff. Cliff was a Fanatic and Adamant Republican before He could even fucking Vote. Well After 2016 and the Following Four Years of the Escalating Destruction of America by an Orange Asshole He has Abandoned the Republican Party and is Now Voting Democrat. But that Not the Entertaining Part as We all Know or recently have become Aware Boating and Dipshit MAGAssholes have become a Hot Topic if You Will. All I can Say about Boaters for Trump is where the Fuck is a Category 5 Hurricane when You fucking Need One?! Anyway My Wife’s Family have always been Big into Boats and Cliff just so happen to have Bought a New Boat Recently.
Apparently one of the First things He did upon Purchasing the Boat was to Equip it with a Flag. Cliff chose a VERY LARGE Black Flag with the Red Lettering that says “FUCK TRUMP”, and Drives it past Boaters with Trump Flags for the Sole Purpose of Pissing Them Off. And Let’s face it Stupid People are Easily Angered. The Best Part if Cliff is an Insanely Intelligent Person Who has A Master Degree in Spanish-American History (The Spanish have a long fucking History in Florida), and He just Finished His Phd Thesis Paper. So when Moronic MAGA Maggots get all Butthurt about the Fuck Trump Flag Cliff and I Quote “I Have No Problem taking on Any of those Idiots.” Let’s Just Say I couldn’t be Prouder and Cliff has earned a Great Deal of more of My Respect.
We apologize again for suddenly (and until now Unexplainably) Gone Off Grid as They Say. We are Back and Back with a Fucking Vengeance and We will be Increasing the Amount of Content as a Direct Result. Stay Tuned and Thank You to Our Fans for Tolerating Our Erratic Brand of Insanity.
Thanks For Reading,
By Les Sober 