Its been a Long While since We had a Proper Candidate for FYB’S Salute to Eccentrics so We are Thrilled to have Finally found Another Exemplary Eccentric to Showcase. You see it takes a Great Deal of Effort to Locate an Authentic Eccentric especially Now a Days with all the Dumbfucks on Social Media, and the YouTube View Whores Out there while Pumping out Crappy Content like Their fucking Lives Depend on it. With the Field Flooded with all These People that are Desperately Seeking to Achieve the Title of “The Next Big Internet Sensation” (Not to mention the Fame and Potential for Endorsements and Other Money Making Ventures).
There is a Vastly Drastic Difference Between the Two Perspective Groups that all comes down to One Succinct Distinguishing Variable. Anyone can Decide to make Videos of say Themselves Wearing a Gas Mask and riding a Hippy Hop in Random Places (Such as a Fast Food Restaurant, Walmart, Library, Mall, or Supermarket for Example). Sure People would think it was a Very Odd thing to Do, and that The Person in Question is a Weirdo, Freak, or Crazy. The Point is Any Average Person can make up and Film some Bizarre Premeditated Video(s) in Hopes that it Goes fucking Viral, BUT that DOES NOT make Them even Close to being Eccentric.
Authentic Eccentrics are Quirky from Birth as if Odd is part of Their DNA which is Why Most Eccentrics have No Idea (or Interest) in the Fact that They are Eccentric. The Eccentrics that are aware that They have been Labeled as So, and thus are Perceived as Eccentric by the Public are only aware because Other fucking People have Told them So (Throughout Their Entire Lives No Doubt). Essentially it is an Aggressive Form of Forced Self Awareness. It’s Constantly Accosting Someone to Remind Them that the Rest of the World Sees Them in a Rather Unfavorable Light, and No One like being called Crazy without Provocation. People just do Shitty stuff like this because People are inherently Shitty but I digress.
The Eccentric We would like to Salute in this Installment is a Woman Known as Francine Dancer Who made Her own Unique Mark on The World Wide Web. Below are Four Videos by Francine Dancer followed by The Facts and The Fiction Surrounding this Eccentric Person and Personality.
Enjoy.
So What is it All About?
- Francine Dancer posted a Small Handful of Musical Themed Videos (Seven in Total).
- Four of the Seven Videos featured Francine interacting with a Tall Lanky and Quiet Creepy looking Doll of Some Sort.
- The Doll Appears to be Homemade being more than likely Constructed by Francine Herself.
- The Doll looks like Dr. Frankenstein built it in His Lab using Parts from a Mannequin, a Sex Doll, and then Hired Marilyn Mansons Make Up Artist to do the Make Up.
- What makes the Doll Unnerving is its Distinctive Personification (The Attribution of a Personal Nature or Human Characteristics to Something Non-Human, or the Representation of an Abstract Quality in Human Form).
- It Didn’t take Long for Francine’s Video’s to Fizzle Out and Francine was all but Forgotten and Her Online Presence Vanished.
- Francine’s Videos were Resurrected Many Years Later when They Resurfaced on TIK TOK creating quite a Buzz Online.
- Viewers were Freaked the fuck out by the Doll and the Fact They couldn’t Figure Out what the hell was Going on or What the Point of Francine’s Videos Actually was Since there is Zero Context Provided. As We Know when People can’t Understand Something Their Imaginations Run fucking Wild and with Francine there was No Acceptation.
Francine’s Alleged Backstory:
- Francine was a TV Star before Her Partner She Preformed with Unfortunately Died (Reasons Unknown). This Effectively Ended the “Act” as it were thus Killing Francines’s Dreams of Being a Hollywood Actress.
- After being Forced out of the Limelight by Circumstances beyond Her Control Francine had a Severe Mental Breakdown (Nothing Short of a Psychotic Break) Unable to Cope with Her New Found Reality.
- Francine in a Completely Delusional State of Mind Broke into the Funeral Home, and Stole the Body of Her Dearly Departed Partner before Burial.
- Francine then Proceeded to Hide the Dead Body of Her Partner in Her Home.
- Francine Recorded the Four Videos in Question to Relive Her Glory Days on TV Desperate to be a Star Once Again.
- Eventually the Authorities are made Aware of the Situation by an Anonymous Tip and Intervene. The Police Reclaimed the Corpse and Arrested Francine on the Spot.
- Francine is Subsequently Tried for Breaking and Entering, Destruction of Private Property, Theft of a Corpse, and Desecration of a Corpse.
- Francine was inevitably found Guilty on All Charges and was Sentenced to Live Out the Remainder of Her Days on Earth at The Snyder Asylum for the Criminally Insane.
The Big Question: Is This a Hoax?
- Back in 2007 a Link Posted Online Titled “Best Weirdest Show EVER! Totally INSANE AND TRIPPY” was Discovered.
- The Video appeared to be Footage from a Cable Access Show (This was Later Confirmed to be Correct) called Steve Beacon on Francine Dancer Variety Half Hour” .
- In the Footage Francine Dances with an Extremely Tall and Extremely Thin and Lanky Man apparently Named Steve Beacon. The Two Dance like Small Children in impromptu and Ransom Movements with No Choreography whatsoever. This is Definitely Not So You Think You Can Dance or Dancing with the Starts Not By a Long Shot. This Footage would make much more sense if this was done by Actual Children as Opposed to Fully Grown Adults.
- The Glaringly Apparent Likeness of Steve Beacon’s Physique to that of the Demented looking Doll is Uncanny without Doubt. This Fueled the Flames of the Internet Rumor Mills surrounding Francine’s Backstory.
Since There is Nothing like Seeing for Yourself so Below is the Video “Best Weirdest Show EVER! Totally INSANE AND TRIPPY” Featuring the Footage of Steve Beacon and Francine on the Francine Dancer Variety Half Hour.
Enjoy.
In Reality: The Facts
- Francine’s Backstory while Entertaining and Morbid is Total Bullshit.
- There is No Record of Francine having a Mainstream Network TV Star.
- There is No Record of Francine’s Arrest or Conviction on Public Record.
- The Snyder Asylum for the Criminally Insane Simply Does Not Exist.
- Even though there is the Public Access TV Show Footage with Steve Beacon there is Absolutely No Indication that He could be or Was Francine’s Dead Performance Partner. The Title of the Show is Steve Beacon on the Francine Dancer Variety Half Hour as Opposed to The Seven and Francine Dancer Variety Half Hour or even The Steve and Francine Dancer Variety Half Hour.
- Francine is Now a Senior Citizen Who is back on Public Access and Still Preforming with the Demented Looking Doll.
- On One Episode of Her New(er) Cable Access Show Francine in fact Introduces the Doll to the Viewing Audience as Stary Dancer.
- There is a Surprising Amount of Videos Posted to YouTube Pertaining to Francine such as Interviews and Biographical Pieces a Plenty.
Thanks For Reading,
Presented By Les Sober 