One of the Elderly Ladies whipped Her head around, and decreed “BE GONE SAVAGE SELLER OF SMUT!” which seemed to Alert the rest of the Geriatric Group into Action. The next thing Lee knew He was being pelted with Porn Shop Products from ever direction of the Shop. Lee was ducking Dildo’s, Dodging X Rated DVD’s, Lotions and Lubricants, Edible Underwear, and Other Sex Toys/Novelty Mercilessly by the Mob.
Lee ran over to the Lingerie section and grabbed a hold of two already pre inflated Inflate-A-Date Sex Dolls one in each hand that the Owner used instead of spending money on proper Manniquienns. Lee used the Inflatable Fuck Dolls to shield Him from the continuing Torrent of Sex Toys being launched at Him by the increasingly maddening Mob. Lee knew the situation as amusing as it was had gotten completely out of His (or Any for that matter) Control, and need to escape the confinement of the Shop.
Lee jumped over the counter in one quick leap, and made a B Line towards the Front Door trying not to Knock any of the Angry Elderly over because the last thing Lee needed was a Broken fucking Hip on His watch. Lee made full use of His Inflatable Sex Doll Shield to not just Protect Himself from the Porn Themed Projectiles, but He also used it as an impromptu Bumper Car sort of Buffer to bounce off or around the Gaggle of God’s Geriatric Soldiers.
Lee had pulled of a pretty sick pivot to get around one Little Old Lady only to come Face to Face with another. The two locked eyes in an intense Stare of to Warriors before clashing on the Battlefield. It was as if Lee and His Little Old Lady Advisory were frozen in Time with Their eyes Locked for Eternity. Then out of no where Lee found Himself flat on His ass on the Floor.
Lee still stunned looked up at The Old Lady who was standing triumphantly with an insanely Large Rubber Novelty Dildos. Jesus Lee thought how fucking embarrassing it was going to be if for the next few days if the Dildo left a dick shaped Bruise across His cheek.
Lee had barely finished His thought before His Adversarial Elder spiked a “Fuck Her From Behind” Brand of fuckable Silicone Cast of The Popular PornStar Connie Lingus’s Crotch on His head like a fucking Football. This rendered Lee flat on His back seeing stars while hiding Himself with the pair Inflate-A-Dates He had grabbed a hold of initially to stave off the Onslaught of Weaponized Sex Toys.
Tune into Tomorrow Kiddies for the Next Installment of………
LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (15/365)
Thanks for Reading,
By Les Sober