Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (58/365)

“We at least it doesn’t smell half bad just kind of sweet musty Smell.” commented Lee before taking a Huge Swig of His Beer.

It just so happened that right then All Hell Broke Loose on the Bus and Spiraled Out of Control Quickly. It all Started with the Businessman Meth Head, and the Bus Bunny who was Bouncing Up and Down on His Lap like His dick was a Pogo Stick. They were banging away as They had been for the last 15 minutes or so when all of a Sudden the Businessman’s Eye’s (which had previously been Bulging out of His fucking Skull) Returned to Their Sockets, and then Promptly Rolled back into His Head so all You could see was the White of HIs Eyes. He then began Convulsing as if He was being Electrocuted by a High Power Line as His Mouth fell Open and His Body then went Ridged as a Steel Beam.

At this point the Bus Bunny realized something seriously fucked up was Happening as by now half the Bus was looking in Her Direction. Just as She started to turn Her head to Peer at the Horror Show behind Her She was Launched into the Standing Position Massive Torrent of Jizz. The Comatose Businessman’s Muscles had tightened to the Point of Cramping, and Jizz was Gushing like a inverted Waterfall from the Eye of His Cock. The Bus Bunny was only on her Feet for a Split Second before being Catapulted (with a Great Force) Up and Over the Seat Back in front of Her. The Poor Woman  went tumbling through the Air Flailing like Mad as She went Upside Down Ass over Elbows, and finally She came Crashing Down into the Seat in Front of Her.

            

The Middle Aged Lady who was sitting in front of the Businessman and the Bus Bunny had enough common sense (combined with a Heavy Dose of Shock and Awe) to get the fuck out of the Way before it was too late. She was a Rather Tall and Thin Lady who Lee thought was a bit Over Dressed for the Bus was Standing in the Bus Isle looking utterly Revolted. Unfortunately for Her the Day was about to get any fucking Better that was for sure. As She stood scowling like an Enraged Buzzard at the Sloppy Homeless Drunk Power Vomited on the Floor Point Blank. The Sheer Puking Power sent a Large Collateral Spray as it Slammed against the Bus Floor. Some of the Extraneous Vomitus splashed onto the Dignified Lady’s Pair of New Heal Breaking Six Inch Heels. This sent the Lady who could barely handle the Various Bodily Fluids She found Herself being Bombarded with into a Homicidal Bling Rage.

The Lady whipped off Her Vomit Soaked High Heel and swung it like a Professional Baseball Player into the Side of the Drunks Head. The Six Inch Spike of a High Heel lodged Solidly Five Inches into the Drunk’s Ear Canal obliterating His Ear Drum and Piercing His Alcohol Soaked Occipital Lobe. She then Tore Her High Heel free from the Drunk Man’s Head sending a Stream of Dark Red Blood to Cascading Down onto the Priest Sitting Next to the Drunk. The Poor Priest had been attempting to counsel the Intoxicated Man about the Evils of Alcohol and the Teachings of the Bible before being Bathed in The Man’s Blood.

                

The Priest left to His Feet and immediately threw one Hell of a Hay Maker punching the Well Dressed Lady square in Her Right breast. This sent the Lady stumbling Backward until She collided with the Asian Gamblers sitting in the Back of the Bus which sent them into s Cursing Frenzy in some sort of Asian Dialect. The Priest Then Out Stretched His Arms into Christ on the Cross Pose, and began Ranting and Raving about The End of Days while Randomly Quoting Revelations. Lee had No Idea What about the Priest pissed Dizzy Off so Severely, But Dizzy Lunged up and out of His Seat, charged the Priest like a fucking Linebacker and Broke His Forty Ounce Beer Bottle over the Priest Holy Head. As Dizzy Physically Assaulted the Priest he Yelled “Eat Shit You Apocalyptic Asshole”. The Priest collapsed crumpling to the Floor like a Blood Covered Rag Doll. Dizzy’s Beer Bottle had Busted the Priest Wide Who was Bleeding Profusely, and Sporting what is Referred to in Hardcore Wrestling as “The Crimson Mask”.

The Screaming Gang of Asian Gamblers Upset a Young Man sitting Near by who was Huddled Over His Fiancee to Protect and Shield Her from the Increasing Violence. It didn’t take long before the Young Man got so Angry He felt the Need to Retaliate, and He did so by Releasing several Fighting Roosters He had Stashed in a Small Chicken Wire Makeshift Cage by His Feet. The Roosters came fluttering out in an Agitated Storm of Feathers, Beaks, and Talons ready to do what They Do which is Fight to the Death. The only issue was the Rooster weren’t in a Ring so instead of Attacking Each other They Attacked anyone they came in Contact with on the Bus. The Bus at this Point had Evolved from a Bar Room Bus Brawl into a Raging Riot as the Passengers kept escalating the Violence as They fought Tooth and Nail.

           

The Bus Driver desperately searched for any place He could pull the Bus Over and Escape the Confined Brutality that had Broken out on His Bus. The Driver frantically changed Lanes causing the Fighting Passengers sliding from one side of the Bus to the Other like an Out of Control Cattle Car. At Last the Terrified Bus Driver saw His Opportunity, and banked a Hard Right that damn well could have caused the Bus to Tip Over onto its Side into a Abandoned Strip Mall Parking Lot.

Stay Tuned for the Next Mentally Unbalanced Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (59/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

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