COOKING IDOL

Welcome to today’s post FYB post featuring the video by content creator know as Nana825763 COOKING IDOL. We featured another one of Nana825763’s videos titled USER NAME 666 which you can find located in the Strange and Disturbing Videos or in the Dark Web Videos (honestly it’s been so long since We did said post which category it’s in, but it’s in one of the two I assure you). It’s morbid masterpiece in the macabre the equivalent of Alice in Wonderland meets the Food network in the 9th circle of Hell.

                  

Now here is where it gets interesting there was some cryptic text (located later on in this post) accompanying the video that I couldn’t get out of my head. On a whim I decided to watch the video, but this time I switched on the closed caption. Once turned on the closed caption the ghostly audio translated into the following:

  • Ah. Yes. Static.
  • Hi.
  • Welcome to my cooking show
  • It’s good Food
  • Heals every losers plate
  • But keep in mind
  • I cook the tomatoes
  • Prepare them nice like this.
  • Do It.
  • Now.
  • Next step
  • Cook with Soy sauce
  • This is not optional
  • Enjoy

Now this reminds me of the band Tool’s song “Die Eier von Satan” off their album Enema. The song title actually means “the balls of satan” or “the eggs of Satan” in German, as “eier” can mean eggs or testicles. The song sounds like a Hitler Nazi rally speech circa World War two, the songs lyrics translate to a receipt for Marijuana cookies. A classic example things that aren’t what they appear to be at first sight or listen in this case.

                   

I then went back and watched the video for the umpteenth time, and compiled a list of the words displayed at the top of the screen during the video. This list is a good bit stranger and tad more grim than the audio translation. Here’s said list in chronological order:

  • Good food
  • Happy Happy Happy
  • I like red food
  • I cook the tomatoes
  • Lets
  • Cookingggggggggg
  • Please prepare the tomato
  • tomatoes is red
  • I cut the tomatoes into pieces with a knife
  • Please don’t cut your neck
  • Please burn bacon and rice cakes
  • Please listen to my song
  • Music
  • Start
  • I like rotten food!
  • Please put the tomatoes on rice cakes
  • Please rice cakes wrapped in bacon
  • Please insert a toothpick
  • Well did you?
  • Again please burn the sides
  • Please take the soy sauce at the end.

Now as Promised Text Accompanying Video:

fÁëfÑ ÇG ‹^àÇG ÇG ‹^àÇG( ÇG ‹^àÇG ÇG
‹^àÇG ÇG ‹^à‹G‹W‹NàȉNê‹^êÇG ÇG
‹^êÇG ÇG ‹^êÇG$ ÇG& ðƒFê(¡6º ¹ èª* ðƒÒÿ¹ èª*‰Fø‰Vú¸€- ™‹6» ‰FÒ‰VÔ‹Á‹Ó¹ èz* ðƒÒÿ‹NÒ‹^ÔÁÓ‰Fð‰Vò‹Fð‹VòÿƒÒ ¹ è^*‰Fô‰Vö‹^ê‹Fø‹Vú‰G‰W
‹Fô‹Vö+FøVú‹^ê‰G‰W‹^êÇG$ ÇG& ЃFê(ÇFôb ÇFö ‹Fô‹VöþÿƒÒÿ‰Fø‰Vú‹^ê‹Fø‹Vú‰G‰W
‹Fô‹Vö+FøVú‹^ê‰G‰W‹^êÇG$ ÇG& ЃFê(¡6º ¹ èº)¹ èÀ)‹^ê‰G‰W
‹^êÇG ÇG ‹^êÇG$ ÇG& ЃFê(¹ ‹F‹V
è)‰Fø‰Vú‹F‹V
FVÿƒÒ ¹ èo)‰Fô‰Vö‹^ê‹Fø‹Vú‰G‰W
‹Fô‹Vö+FøVú‹^ê‰G‰W‹^êÇG$ ÇG& ЃFê(‹^êÇG0 ÇG
‹^êÇG ÇG

See you on the other side,

  Presented by Otto Control  

Monday With Umami The Artist (This Post Is NOT About Food)

Once again we are the start of a new work week which means returning to work which is a laborious chore, but fear not for I Otto Control am here to rub some salt in the wound. It has been said countless times that the beginning of the work week is truly dreaded and that reputation is more than warranted as we are all aware. The drudgery drenched in misery aspect to Mondays that we all are well aware of as we sell our time, and more over our lives to a job that is nothing more than final fucking slavery. Allow me to put it simply: of all the species on the entire planet Humans are the only one who have to pay to live here.

                   

Let that sink in for a second as it might be a moment before one can get their mind around it. The unacknowledged aspect to the loathsome Monday equation is that much like full moons have a noticeably advert affect on people’s behavior/mentality. That’s to say when people are angry, annoyed, stressed, or depressed they have the tendency to take out their aggression on those around them. Mondays a mired maze of negativity a veritable breeding ground for both malice and mourning.

So in a salute to the anguished insanity of Monday’s post features a video by ARTIST AND CREATOR UMAMI. Umami (aka Justin Tomchukis a Canadian artist and content creator who makes surrealist animated videos. Now this is where it gets a bit precarious as for all intents and purposes do not know the title of the video as I can not read any Asian languages. Aside from the title translation situation this little taste of gothic horror reminds me of something a serial killer would have playing on a projector utilizing a bare wall as a screen.

                   

WARNING:This video contains fast flashing images, and It may cause discomfort and trigger seizures for people with Epilepsy. I am well aware the video itself warns of this, but Les wanted me to add it just to insure we did our dual diligence.

See you on the other side…

  Presented by Otto Control

Short Horror Film Friday: FACELIFT

Welcome to the Week’s Short Horror Film Friday featuring FACELIFT Written and Directed by Virat Pal , and Staring Cara Loften, Nell Rutledge-Leverenz, and Carly Jones. FACELIFT is a Cautionary Tale about one of Humanity’s worst Qualities and that would be Vanity. Between Chasing Lost Youth (along with trying to Live Up to Society’s Definition of Good Looking) Humanity has twisted itself into  Self Indulging- Self Deprecating Cycle of Unattainable Physical Perfection and Approval.

Plot Summery: Life starts to Change for a Middle-Aged Woman when a Mysterious Mask  Suddenly appears on her doorstep one Day. Will it Transform Her Life into the Dream She’s always Wanted or Will it Become Her Own Hellish Nightmare? Remember Kiddies that if Something is Too Good to be True it May Just Kill You.

Enjoy.

Thanks For Watching,

  Presented By Les Sober  

Why The Hell Would A Serial Killer WANT To Be Caught?!

There are people who are not interested in learning about serial killers, but that doesn’t stop them fro asking fucking questions. Now the most asked question I come across hands fucking down is “Why would a serial killer want to be caught???” It’s a valid question since getting caught would be counter fucking productive as one could get if they were in the serial killing business. Who the fuck would OPT to get arrested, prosecuted, convicted, and sentenced to life in prison or face the fucking death penalty?! Also wouldn’t a serial killer prefer to remain free to keep on killing since that’s their main fucking function of their lives being PREDATORS and predators main preoccupation is fucking HUNTING.

Ultimately getting caught is a serial killer’s the end game due to their EGO. I mean there’s no fucking point in going around murdering the shit out of people, and perhaps other fucked up shit (like cannibalism) if  no one knows it was you. It doesn’t matter if it’s directing a block buster movie, writing a best selling book, a hit song, viral video, or any other fucking thing no matter what people want credit for their accomplishments. That includes serial killers especially if the serial killer is one that has a specific M.O., agenda, cause/mission, or manifesto serving as a fucked up rational for their heinous acts of murder.

                   

The serial killer timeline is pretty fucking basic part 1 is torturing and killing animals then finally they kill a person. After their first murder their killing starts to accelerates increasing in frequency building to a crescendo of carnage and then the killer is caught at last. Part 2 is the serial killer is the defendant in a high profile and more than well publicized court cases while their picture and speculation as to why they did what they did are plastered all over the internet, social media, television, and on the front cover of magazines.

Lets fucking face it we make these sick fuckers famous to the point Oliver fucking Stone did a whole fucking movie on the subject in Natural Born Killers. The public being the third party find serial killers like any fucking thrill ride or adrenaline inducing activity that is terrifying but none the less exhilarating at the same fucking time. The public recoils at the details of the killers horrible acts of brutality and bloodshed, but morbid curiosity wins out in the end. Curiosity wins because as sickeningly nauseating the murderer’s malicious madness may be people have an insatiable thirst to know, find out, or discover why no the less. The public simply will not fucking be ignored like the Enquire’s motto “Enquiring minds want to know.”

                   

While serial killers are fucked up as they come there something even more terrifying and that’s the exceptions to the rule. Two honorable mentions (BUT NOT EXCEPTIONS) are the BTK killer and The Ice Man, and I am purposefully not using their actual fucking names to if you want to know more go hit up google.

The Ice Man is an honorable mention because he used his psychopathic tendencies to find employment as a profile mafia hitman. This is different in The Ice Man didn’t have an M.O. and he didn’t prey on the public instead he made murder his profession. Also the Ice Man was a true comilion who by day was a loving father and husband, upstanding member of the community, respected in his neighborhood, and even a member of the local church. At night though The Ice Man induced his dark and deadly desires on behalf of the mob.

The BTK killer diverted from the traditional serial killer in the fact he could when he felt he needed to he curb his desire to kill (which meant it took decades before he was caught). This is unusual since like any fucking addiction it starts off slow and then they build up speed until you can’t stop even if you want to. You have become consumed by whatever addiction it is you’re battling to the point that ever fiber of your being wants the insanity to stop, BUT you also want to keep getting high NO MATTER WHAT. The same can be said for serial killers/serial killing.

                   

The 2 most infamously notorious and yes famous traditional serial killer exceptions are Jack The Ripper and The Zodiac Killer. Jack The Ripper actually sent a single letter to the police along with a kidney from one of his alleged victims as proof confessing his crimes. He even included a 2 word return address which was: FROM HELL, and Yes that’s were the Hughes brothers got the title for their 2001 Jack The Ripper film staring Johny Depp. Now when it came to the issue of ego The Zodiac Killer set the bar and set it high as fuck. The Zodiac Killer sent a rather prolific amount of letters to both the police and the media even inventing his own cryptic code and symbols.

The Zodiac relished the fact he was able to taught and antagonize the authorities as well as the public, and he got a really enjoyed mocking the police. In summation the Zodiac’s letters stated that he was far more fucking intelligent than the police, the police wouldn’t or couldn’t ever catch him, and even with all his letters and clues contained within the police still weren’t able to arrest him. The scariest thing about the Zodiac is in the end he was right he like Jack The Ripper was NEVER caught he quit killing and walked off into the fucking sunset never to be heard from again.

Well on that happy note I’m going to end this post here.

See you when I see you,

 by Justin Sane

For Shits And Giggles: WORLD RECORD

So here we are another monstrous motherfucking Monday come to crush our wills to live as our jobs steal our lives away from us minute by fucking minute. It’s such bullshit that the fucking work week is 5 days long, YET the fucking weekend is on 2 I mean I suck at math DOESN’T ADD UP! So after a 48 hours off the clock you have just enough time to actual relax then Monday comes around again, and we thrown head first back into the fucking rat race toiling away slaves to the grind. You spend all goddamn day trying to just get through the misery of Monday the bullshit bosses, crappy clients, ridiculous demands, shit pay, and cantankerous co-workers. You desperately try not to stare at the clock on the wall, but inevitably you end up clock watching as every single fucking minute on Monday’s feels like nothing less than fucking eternity! SO THEN kick back, crack a beer, spark up a joint, and let us here at FYB help you decompress.

This Monday’s post features the stop motion 5 second horror short WORLD RECORD by Lee Hardcastle. Hardcastle is an insanely prolific British Animator/Film Maker who specializes in Stop-Motion Techniques. Lee Hardcastle describing his work in his own words: “I Make Claymations that are Not for Children’s Eyes.”, and has vowed to never insult his audience with Shitty Film Making.

Synopsis: Just because you win a prestigious award isn’t always a good thing!

See you around,

   Justin Sane   

Saturday Short Horror Cinema: SELF ASSEMBLY

Welcome to Saturday Short Horror Cinema featuring SELF ASSEMBLY  Written By Garret Shanley, and  Directed by Ray Sullivan. This Little Slice of Surreal Insanity reminds Me of  the David Lynch movie 1997 Cult Classic Eraserhead in Several Ways. Most Notably are the Fact that its Shot in Black and White giving the Film a Cold Stark Feel, and the Fact it Doesn’t need a Word of Dialog to be Creepy as Fuck.

Noteworthy Mention: The car that killed the son in the beginning is the same car that comes to retrieve the monster from the parents house.

Plot: In a Self-Assembly cabinet They Ordered Online Grieving Parents find a Truly Monstrous Substitute for their Deceased Son.

                   

Self Assembly  Credits:

  • Produced & Directed by Ray Sullivan
  • Written by Garret Shanley
  • Based on the comic story by Garret Shanley & Cathal Duggan
  • A Monolith Pictures [IE] Production
  • Cast – Darryl Kinsella, Amy Kirwan and Ruben Kenny
  • Cinematography & Score – Terry Warren
  • Editing & VFX – Ray Sullivan
  • Special Creature Effects – Bobby McGlynn
  • Makeup by – Deirdre Fitzgerald

Thanks For Watching,

   Presented By Les Sober  

BLVCK MVGIC

Welcome to This Wednesday’s Post featuring the Disturbing Claymation Music Video “BLVCK MVGIC” by Artist Kill The Noise (Real Name Jacob Stanzak) Who is an American DJ and Record Producer from Rochester, New York.

The Official Video for Kill The Noises’s Song”BLVCK MVGIC” was Created by None Other than Animator and FYB Favorite Lee Hardcastle. Lee Hardcastle is an Insanely Prolific British Animator/Film Maker  Who Specializes in Stop-Motion Techniques. Lee Hardcastle in His Own Words: “I Make Claymations that are Not for Children’s Eyes.”, and has Vowed to Never Insult His Auidence with Shitty Film Making.

                     

Hardcastle is Famous for His Handmade Independent Animations. His Work includes Original Remakes of Emblematic 1980’s Action and Horror Movies, as well as Parodies of Animated Series and Video Clips. His Work is Known for its Violent and Gory Content. He has worked with Many Companies including Momentum Pictures, 20th Century Fox, and Adult Swim, and has Also Worked with Notable Artists such as Sufjan Stevens. Besides Being a Kick Ass Animator Lee Hardcastle was a Member of the Band Shit The Bed. Shit The Bed was a Hardcore Punk Band with Grindcore Tendencies  from Leeds, UK Formed in 2000 by Jordan Ramoth, Richard Kenyon, Dom Smith, and Lee Hardcastle when They were in High School.

                   

Plot: A Small Remote Village has been Played by a Rash of Missing People, and When a Villager Spots a Lone Woman living in a Corn Field with a Pentagram on Her Door. The Pentagram is actually a White Magic Symbol Designed to Protect the Homeowner from Evil. Now to Alleviate any Confusion an Inverted Pentagram is a Pentangle which is Synonymous with Modern Day Satanism. The Villagers assume She is a Witch and Responsible for the Disappearance of the Missing Villagers and Form a Violent Posse, but when They Confront the Witch Things go from Bad to Bloody.

Be Sure to Watch Until the End for The Sinister Surprise Twist.

Enjoy.

Thanks For Watching/Listening,

   Presented By Les Sober  

Micro Horror Film Friday: POLAROID and The POLAROID Reboot

Welcome to this Friday’s Installment of Micro Horror Film Friday featuring POLAROID  by Joey Greene and Paul Houston who shote Film in Their Apartment on a Budget of Less than $500 (Greene also Wrote, Produced, Directed, and Edited the Film).

As an Additional Surprise for this Post We also Have the Reboot of POLAROID also by Joey Greene and Paul Houston. The POLAROID Reboot was  Produced by Lucía Almenara, Gisella Esteve, Adrià Fabregat, Yaiza Galán y Laura Monge.

The Thing I find Most Appealing when it comes to the Micro Horror Genre is the Sheer Simplicity: It’s a Protagonist and an Antagonist in The Moment of Terror. The Creator and Audience alike can appreciate You Don’t need a 2 Hour Hollywood CGI Whorefest to Generate Fear in the Audience. You can take a Full Length Horror Film, and then Strip Away all the Various Parts until You’re left with just the Keystone of a  Horror Film which as We all Damn Well Know is Fear. You Don’t have to Bother with all the Typical Bullshit with Begging, Set Up, Character Development, Plot Arch, Conclusion, and So On and So Forth. You can revel in all that Truly matters when it comes to Horror which again is the Fear Factor. A Horror Movie that Doesn’t Instill Fear on at Least some Level with its Audience isn’t a Horror Movie its a Lame Attempt at One. So For Now On With the Show.

Polaroid Synopsis: They Say That Pictures are Worth 1,000 Words, But What if a Picture was Worth Your  Soul?!

Enjoy.

POLAROID REBOOT:

Thanks For Watching,

   Presented By Les Sober  

Found Footage: LOST IN THE CATACOMBS

Welcome internet travelers to this Wednesday’s FYB post that deals with the extreme psychological terror in the found footage originally titled Lost in the Catacombs. The found footage was part of a documentary which most notably aired as a Halloween Special on ABC Family, but the documentary in fact aired in various slightly different versions on Multiple Television networks in the early 2000s. The original film was directed by Francis Freeland and included segments of camcorder footage recorded in the vast and ancient Catacombs of Paris in the early 1990s. The footage was shot by an unknown man whose camera was allegedly discovered years later by an anonymous group of illicit catacomb explorers know as “cataphiles”.  The group of cataphiles found the camera was found caked in dust and covered with mold but none the less still intact, and they claimed the footage on the video tape were both totally terrifying and sadly tragic.

                  

For those who may be unaware the Paris Catacombs are a vast and extensive subterranean labyrinth that was created by building tunnels that connect a series of queries. The limestone from these quarries built Paris as it is known today, and eventually the city expanded to the point where the quarries and connecting quarry tunnel system lay below the busy metropolis. The Catacombs came to be back in the late 18th century (1787 – 1814) when the cemeteries in Paris became so overwhelmed with the dead it led to some serious problems. The over crowding of the cemeteries led to improper burials, open graves, and even unearthed corpses of the deceased, and this caused people living near/around the cemeteries to start contracting infectious diseases. To ease the over crowding and health problems and with tons of empty underground quarries at their disposal the police along with priests devised a morbid solution. They discreetly relocated the skeletal remains from older graves into the abandoned quarries effectively turning them into tombs. In the end the Paris catacombs came to house the remains of 6 to 7 million Parisians through out the estimated 187-200 miles of catacombs that lay below the city of Paris.

Let the insanity ensue………

So what the fuck?!:

While as you may imagine since the original airing(s) of the Lost in the Catacombs the creepy pasta crowd has run wild speculating what caused the unknown man to panic (and what possibly may have been his fate). It’s painfully obvious that the man’s flight or flight survival instinct wasn’t triggered by ghouls, ghosts, malevolent aliens, menacing monsters, malicious Mutants, psychotic madmen, or cannibalistic underground dwellers (C.H.U.Ds). As entertaining as it may be to propose outlandish circumstances to attempt to explain the footage, but these idle flights of fancy are nothing more than intellectual fluff.

The reality is far more disturbing and terror inducing than any imaginary beast or badman could ever hope to be. The brutal truth of the matter is the man started to experience growing anxiety as he realizes he may be in trouble. The Anxiety evolves into full blown panic as he comes to the conclusion that he is in a life or death situation and the life and death are his own. Finally the full blown panic activated the man’s fight or flight survival instinct causing him to completely lose his shit. He has realized at this point that his innocent adventure into the catacombs has gone horribly wrong, and he is now in the absolutely worst case scenario.

                   

The man finds himself now effectively trapped underground in an expansive network of subterranean tunnels and make shift tombs and no way out. He apparently hadn’t thought to bring any sort of discernible supplies such as say food/ water, additional light source, or anything he could use to mark his path as he went in the event he in fact got lost. If the prospect of being trapped alone deep underground with the remains of 6-7 million dead people’s earthly remains, without food or water, blinded by the pitch blackness of the catacombs, confined in the cramped tunnels, and being utterly clueless on how to escape isn’t insanity inducing I don’t know what the fuck is.

Thus the Man’s catacomb adventure wasn’t an adventure at all it was a fatal mistake.

Until our paths cross once again,

Presented By Otto Control 

BANNED SUPER BOWL UNO COMMERCIAL!!!

Monday’s are a real, true blue motherfucker, and its been that way since man came up with the 5 day work week. Breaking down the days of the week is fucking child’s splay  so:

  • Monday: Sucks like the motherfucker it is.
  • Tuesday: Not really all that fucking great, but it’s one day closer to the weekend so advantage Tuesday for not being Monday.
  • Wednesday: AKA hump day the pivotal middle of the work week turning point. Half the bullshit work week is done and only 2 more to go until the weekend. Plus one of those 2 remaining work days is fucking Friday.
  • Thursday: Nothing special other than being the day before friday.
  • Friday: Last day of the work week AND motherfucking payday so time to fucking party.
  • Saturday: Do whatever the fuck you damn well please day because you still got Sunday to fall back on.
  • Sunday: Relax like a motherfucker because tomorrow it’s motherfucking Monday all over again.

With that said this Monday’s FYB post features the video BANNED SUPER BOWL UNO COMMERCIAL by alternative comedy Allstars in the Oddest of the Odd. Now I’d like to take a fucking moment here to comment on the alternative comedy genre so I will. There is so fucking much I get a fucking kick out of when it comes to alternative comedy, but in the interest of saving time here is a brief list of just some of the attributes of alternative comedy I think are wildly entertaining:

  • Alternative comedy is the suspension of disbelief personified as some attribute of the genre include dealing in.
  • grossly over exaggerated extremes
  • use of Cerebral surrealism
  • often manic energy/intensity
  • propensity to use outlandish violence
  • Its unorthodox/unconventional creative process
  • the over the top showmanship.
  • The sheer bizarre insanity of the content/subject matter
  • Truly unique artists and various art forms.
  • The total disregard for tradition comedy/traditional comedy formulas/traditional creative processes/traditional comedy norms.

                 

In my view alternative comedy is an evolved version of the theater of the absurd best personified by the likes of the British television series Monty Python’s flying circus (1969-1974) and subsequent Monty Python Movies like Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) or Monty Python: The Meaning of Life (1985) for example. Monty Python were comedy pioneers who brought the theater of the absurd to the mainstream public. There was also during that time period the brilliant performance artist Andy Kauffman (January 17, 1949 – May 16, 1984) who deserves just as much credit for his work in/with the theater of the absurd as Monty Python does.

Then by the mid 1980’s the theater of the absurd genre of comedy had faded from the public eye and back into obscurity once again. That was until Canadian comedian Tom Green hit the scene on MTV in 1994 with the ground breaking Tom Green show. Green essentially rebooted and rebranded the theater of the absurd into the alternative comedy genre of today. Basically if there was no Tom Green show there wouldn’t have been an Adult Swim, Comedy Bang Bang, or The Eric Andre Show and many, many more of todays artists/acts.

But I digress for now so ONTO THE VIDEO MOTHERFUCKERS!

Plot: Some Friends Playing a  Hand of UNO Turns Deadly Motherfucker!

See you around,

  Justine Sane