The Return Of THE TEXPOCALYPSE!

It’s been a Long while to Say the Least since We have had a Textpocolypse, and Honestly it’s Overdue. The Textpocolypse Posts are some of the (Insane, Obscene, and Absurd) Text Exchanges between Our Dear Friend and Partner in Crime Spacedog and Our Defacto Leader Les Sober. So without a Further A Due lets get to it.

Spacedog: Oh no your fetus is exhibiting very cult like behavior.

Les: Umm…it must be Jim Jones Syndrome. Fetal Cult Like Behavior is the Kid Brittany’s Kid?! LOL fuck Her…Apparently most of NJ Has.

Spacedog: I think you are the only straight man that’s fucked her that isn’t dead or institutionalized LOL.

Les: I know talk about dodging a Bullet! Her cunt is Cursed, its Abortion Central No Fetus can survive THE WOMB OF DOOM! What in Your opinion would constitute an “Excessively Small Penis”? I’m wondering it was in a Police Report on this HBO crime Documentary Series, and its been Bouncing around in My Brain ever since.

Spacedog: Excessively to me is under 4-4.5 inches. Kinda the same as what I consider an excessively small person but feet for them.

Les: Ok I was wondering since Micro Penis is more commonly as a Baby Dick. So Excessively Small was a bit vague as far as I was and am Concerned.

Spacedog: My personal definition is the point at where the penis to me no longer feels sexy and begins to make me feel uncomfortable. My body lets me know because I become extremely ticklish LOL. At what point does a tit become big?

              

Les: Somewhere between Hung and Monster Cock???

Spacedog: I said TIT. Your definitely thinking bout cock more than me tonight LOL.

Les: My Bad I’ll ask My Wife…..

Spacedog: I mean like would 30dd be a big tit regardless of who it was on? Like a midget? an 8 year old? I mean I just would say they had unfortunate tits.

Les: My Wife said once a titty reaches the size of a 9 month old Baby’s Head it’s Big, and apparently from there the Titty Size equates to how much they hurt the Woman’s Back.

              

(* a Minute or Two goes by)

Les:CORRECTION: I relayed the Facts Wrong it’s not a 9 month Old Baby’s head it is in Fact that of a Full Grown Adult. My Bad. Sorry I’m still stuck on the Excessively Small Dick Definition. Does Width Factor in its Excessive Smallness? Example: 3″ prick and the Width/Circumference of a #2 Pencil? AND if So is that the Origin of the Insult of calling someone a Pencil Dick as in “Hey Pencil Dick Move Out of the Way. AND if that does having a 2” dick with the Width/Circumference of a Pencil be where the Insult Pin Dick came from, like “Brittany is a Pin Dick Bug Fucker”???  We have reached a Whole New Level of Dick Jokes or Genital Jokes if You will.

               

Spacedog: I think pencil dick can be a pencil dick regardless of length. I used to joke about my friend fucking me was like shoving some Angel hair pasta up my ass and his dick was 8 inches.

Les: Skinny Dick Syndrome.

Spacedog: I’m doing my first grocery pickup. Ugh. Not that I’m afraid of getting Infected by someone breathing on my car, but I really dred much human interaction. All for some kombucha and epic meat bars LOL!

Les: Grocery Pick Up is Dope, We have done it several times. COVID or No COVID I dread having interactions with Other People so No Change Here Lmfao. Epic Meat Bars? WTF are They and Where can I get some? Seriously if that’s a Thing I’m in.

(*Spacedog Texts Link to EPIC Provisions and Their Bar Variety Pack featuring a 10 Bar Pack featuring Bison, 2 Varieties of Chicken, Venison, 2 Varieties of Beef, Lamb, Turkey, Uncured Bacon, and Wild Boar.)

Spacedog: They had 2 of these at shoprite.

                

Les: What constitutes a Monster Clit? I figure 3 inches because thats the size You could Safely hang Your Keys On. My Wife said around 2″ and I called bullshit. She then pulled the fucking I have One Card and Now its a Monster Clit Standoff. Some shit You just can’t Google. Whoa hot damn they got some serious Variety I like that Wild Boar that’s Wild. BISON! Now I can Eat like a goddamn Cowboy.

Spacedog: I mean isn’t a standard clit at least an Inch? I examined a nice one before but it wasn’t so small I needed a monocle. The most daring I go at shoprite was Venison. so I’m doooooomed I have been avoiding pickup of food for months. So my parents and sister are all like pickup pickup so I finally am tomorrow. In the middle of a Tropical Storm. It’s a bad sign kinda like seeing a gaping hole before you are about to fuck someone. Also how the fuck is it the F storm already? I’ve not been paying attention.

               

Les: Tropical Storm in NJ that’s fucked up all I’m saying is when I lived there We never had a anything close to a Tropical Storm. I though that shit was reserved for fucking Florida and all that shit. We sat through God fucking knows how many Hurricanes living in the Glorified Swamp called Florida. Grades 1 through 3 aren’t so Bad really, but the time We had a Category 4 that shit was fucking Unnerving as hell. It was one of the very few times in My Life I thought I just might Die.

Spacedog: Anyway Jersey now has a “covid controversy”. My mom’s friend’s grandkids baby momma went to Florida and the one chick said she was infected going to work, but the other lady said its not true. I hope the first lady is wrong I like the second lady I’d rather pot brownie Kathy not die LOL

Les; People are such self absorbed assholes. If You went to fucking Florida which is currently a COVID Plagued Swamp in the First Place You’re a fucking Idiot. If You even think that You might be Infected STAY THE FUCK HOME. Period. LONG LIVE POT BROWNIE KATHY! I though NJ was making Everyone Quarantine for 14 Days before being allowed to enter the State. Not sure why the fuck anyone would want to go to NJ for anything is beyond Me. I have a Relative that needs to head back to NJ to check in on a Bunch of Projects and other various bullshit, and While They understand the NJ Quarantine They still Don’t like it. It adds 2 weeks where You can’t do Dick but sit around Your fucking House so it Royally fucks up Their Timeline.

              

Spacedog: This is some self entitled bitch who the minute her kid popped out of her pussy was all like btw I never loved you to the husband I just wanted a kid. Yeah that kind of blows. I hope my old aunt and uncle in Myrtle Beach are okay. Fuck my cousins they are a bunch of trumpers, I’m sure their guns and booze will protect them. At least in NJ she won’t have to be thinking about 2 out of every 10 people she sees have COVID.

Les: What a Cunt and a Perfect Reason NOT to have a fucking Kid. That Kid is gonna have some serious fucking issues with a WHore of a Mom like that. If Your Cousin’s Guns and Booze Don’t Work They can Drink Bleach, Inject Lysol, Shove UV Lights up Their Asses, or They can go the Asshole Evangelical Route and Claim They are Protected from COVID because They are Bathed in the Blood of Christ. Well if COVIDIOTS like Her keeping getting into NJ regardless of the Quarantine Protocol She very well might have to deal with a 2 in 10 Infection Ratio Sooner or Later. Thrupers and Other COVIDIOTS Here are Changing Their Tune BIG TIME, We went from “Fuck Masks” to 95% or Higher Now Wearing Masks. Why You Ask? Its because You can’t Deny or Down Play COVID once the Infection Rate Grows to the Point People and Their Friends, Family, and Co-Workers are Contracting COVID. Ignorance is Bliss Until It’s Obliterated by the Facts/Truth.

           

Spacedog: Yeah once it gets like NY/NJ which it is now most people tend to freak the fuck out especially when they are dead. Why waste a Prayer on the Born Again Bullshitters when you can call bishop chip (Link Enclosed: lutheranorthodoxchurch.org) that would be my cousin. He’s also the one with the corpse bride and the kid with fetal alcohol syndrome. Ok I should stp now LOL. Eh the 4th wife was a keeper. Trump is up to a 67% disapproval rating and not looking good for anything other then him screaming rigged 456.348 billion times between now and January. The .348 is factoring in his mini-strokes.

Les: Goddamn Dead People always Freaking the hell Out the fucking Drama Queen Corpses that They are. Toddler Trumpy is going to Rage Shit His Shorts, 67% disapproval Honestly I thought it be Higher since Trumpy is suck a Fucking Fuck Up Motherfucker. .348 Mini Strokes, That would be Epically Awesome and I hope it would be while He’s on Camera the Obeses Orange Asshole LMFAO!!!

SpaceDog: They actually had 5 minutes trump slurring his words like he’s having a stroke montage on MSNBC early morning. I’m pretty sure they do shit like that purposely to fuck with him cuz they know he’s watching. I wanna start a q-anon rumor that the real purpose of the Lincoln Project is not just to defeat trump, but that they are cloning Lincoln to be a Democrat.

              

Les: That’s fucking Awesome montage and must have been fucking Hilarious. Ah Trumpy You Feeble Minded Mush Mouthed Old Man with the World’s Shittiest Spray Tan. If MSNBC is going all Lincoln Project on Trumpy’s Fragile Ego I would have more Respect for Them thats for Sure.

Spacedog: Oh no it was replayed from the daily show now that I think about it.

Les: YES! I have thought about fucking with the Miniscule Minds of the MAGAssholes Q-Anon Conspiracy cocksuckers too! It must be a fucking sign that We must fuck with Trumpy Supporting Idiotic Assholes.

Spacedog: But yeah every morning Joe Scarborough usually goes to a single camera shot saying “Well Donald…” So trump literally the First Person ever with Dementia where the TV really is Talking to Him.

               

Les: That’s cool I’m a Fan of The Daily Show. HOLY FUCKING SHIT Trumpy’s Dementia and His TV Obsession Collide!!! I can’t stop Laughing! GODDAMN LMFAO!

Spacedog: So I just noticed something about that page of my cousin I sent you. He must be loaded I noticed that he is CEO pf the “Lutheran Orthodox” Church. My cousin invented a church. I may not believe a word he says but that was Genius.

Les: That shows how fucked up things are Today that fucking Church’s have fucking CEOs. Thats basically Admitting Churches are Businesses just like any Other Corrupt Corporation.

           

That’s All For Now Anyways.

Thanks For Reading,

By    Les Sober & Spacedog 

“Sick” Nick Mondo: Death Match Legend & Ultraviolent Icon

“Sick” Nick Mondo (born Matthew Timothy Burns) is Best Known for His Matches in COMBAT ZONE WRESTLING (CZW) the Home to UltraViolent Wrestling. Mondo was Known throughout His Career for His Willingness to take Extremely Dangerous Bumps, such as being Hit in the Stomach with a Gas Powered Weed Whacker, getting put Through Tables Wrapped in Barbwire, and Slammed from a Height of 40 Feet onto Light Tubes(Fluorescent Light Bulbs) stacked on top of  Tables with Nothing but Bare Concrete beneath them. Nick Mondo’s Career May have been Relatively Short (Just Over 4 Years Total) as His began in Pennsylvania Championship Wrestling in 1999, and Ended it Retiring in 2003 while  Wrestling for CZW. That Didn’t Stop Mondo from Accomplishing a Whole Hell of A Lot in those 4 years besides just Staying Alive and in One Piece.

           

When it comes to the World of Hardcore Wrestling it is often Separated into Distinct Types based on the Graphic Nature of the Match. A Deathmatch Usually tends to be the Most Brutally Severe, with a HEAVY Emphasis on the Usage of of Various Weapons to Induce a Great Deal of Blood Loss. The Weapons are meant to be Extremely Graphic and Violent in Nature and used for the Sole Purpose of Pain,Bloodshed, and Shock Value.

Nick Mondo Competed is Some of the MOST BLOODY AND BRUTAL Death Matches that Hardcore Wrestling have Ever Seen. Mondo Competed in The Tournament of Death, King of The Death Match, Cage of Death, and Japanese Death Matches (During a CZW Cross Promotion with BIG JAPAN PRO WRESTLING a Federation that Specializes in Death Match Wrestling). That’s in Addition to Other Death Matches Mondo Fought in During His Career which were Equally as Dangerous as They Were Blood Splattered.

  • Mondo Held the CZW Iron Man Championship on 3 Different Occasions.
  • Won the CZW World Tag Team Championship with His Tag Team Partner Ric Blade.
  • Mondo Won CZW’s Infamous Tournament of Death 2
  • Won Match of The Year in 2002 for His Match against Wifebeater
  • Won Match of The Year in 2003 for His Match Against Justice Pain.
  • In 2004 Mondo was Inducted into the CZW Hall of Fame

           

Below You will find the Short Documentary UNSCARRED: The Life of Nick Mondo in its Entirety. You’ll witness All New Never Before Seen Backyard Wrestling Superstar Series Showcase the Legendary Hardcore Icon “Sick” Nick Mondo Totally Exposed. From Unbelievable, Ultraviolet, Blood Soaked, Death-Defying Wrestling Action that has Shocked Fans across the Globe to Outrageous Stunts, Behind the Scenes Interviews, and Never Seen Before Footage. Experience First Hand Why Despite the Road Map of Battle Wounds Mondo Sports across His Body He has Miraculously Remained “Unscarred” throughout His Years of Hardcore Fame and Bloodshed.

           

After UNSCARRED You will Find The Ultraviolent and Bloody Highlights of  Nick Mondo Vs. John Zandig’s Match at Tournament of Death 2. The Match Features Zandig Delivering His Finishing Move “The Mother F’n Bomb” on Nick Mondo OFF OF A ROOFTOP Through SIX TABLES and through a GIANT LIGHT TUBE  CABIN STRUCTURE in the Parking Lot!!!

Then There is the Match Between Nick Mondo and Wifebeater in a 200 LIGHT TUBE  BARBED WIRE ROPES DEATH MATCH which Includes the Infamously Famous GAS POWERED WEED WHACKER!!!

Lastly is a Video Highlighting Another of  Nick Mondo’s Bloody and Brutal Championship Matches this Time against Ian Rotten in the TOURNAMENT OF DEATH 2 FINAL!!!

“Sick” Nick Mondo Vs. John Zandig and The Bump Heard Around The World

Wifebeater Vs. “Sick” Nick Mondo and THE WEED WHACKER!

 

CZW Tournament of Death “Sick” Nick Mondo Vs. Ian Rotten (Final Match of the Tournament )

All We Can Say at this Point is “Holy Shit, Holy Shit, Holy Shit, Holy Shit!!!

Thanks For Watching,

Presented By    Les Sober & FYB  

Friaday Slaughterfest Film: SLEDGEHAMMER

Welcome to The FYB Friday Slaughterfest Film the 1983 Slasher Movie SLEDGEHAMMER Written and Directed by David A. Prior. Sledgehammer was One of the Very First Shot on Video Horror Movies.

           

Brief Plot Summary:

In a Secluded House, an Abusive Mother locks Her Young Son in a CLoset, then goes into another room to Meet the Man She is Cheating on Her Husband with. The Man and Woman plan to Leave Their Respective Spouses, but Their Plans are Cut Short when an UNKNOWN KILLER appears and MURDERS THEM WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER!! The Police arrive and Find the Corpses, with the Exception of the Little Boy, Who  is Missing and is Presumed Dead.

Ten Years after the Grisly Murders Seven Friends get Together to Enjoy a Crazy Weekend in the Mountains, Drinking and Partying to Their Hearts Content. Unbeknownst to the Group, a SHAPE SHIFTING EVIL still Lurks within the Walls of the House just Waiting to be Unleashed. The First Day at the House, One of the Seven Friends, John goes Snooping Around in the Garage. He Finds a Sledgehammer and Takes it. What John is Unaware of is by taking the Sledgehammer He has Unwittingly Unlocked the Homicidal Spirit that Haunts the House, and the Fight for Survival has Begun.

           

When Night Falls, Chuck convinces His Friends to Participate in a Seance in an Attempt to Contact the Spirits of the Victim’s Who Died in the House, so The Group can Solve the Mystery of Who Murdered Them. The Impromptu Seance is a Success and Brings Forth the Ghastly Ghost of the Missing Boy, which Appears as a Towering Man in a Smiling Translucent Mask. It doesn’t take long for the Sinister Spirit They Summonded to Start Slaughtering Them by Bludgeoning, Stabbing, and Breaking His New Victim’s Necks!

Discovering the Dire Fate of Their Friends the Remaining Teens decide to Hold Up in the House until Morning, at which point They will attempt to Reach the Nearest Town. Will the Remaining Teens Escape the HOUSE OF HORROR or are They Destined to Die as Well? Can Anything Stop the Sledgehammer Wielding Spirit’s Killing Spree Once and For All? And Can Evil Even Die???

You’ll have to See and Find Out For Yourself when You watch SLEDGEHAMMER.

Enjoy.

Hope You Enjoyed this Tale of Spectral Slaughter as Much as We Did.

Thanks For Watching,

Presented By Les Sober &  FYB

Automotive Tips From The Age Of The Model T

I think there is one thing Everyone goes Through when They get Their Drivers License beside suddenly having A Lot of New Friends (who all seem to need a Ride). What I am Referring to is the Parental Tutorial that’s usually Instigated by One’s Father on being a Responsible Driver.

I remember My Father telling Me to Have a Bag of Cat Litter incase I got stuck  especially in the Snow, Change the Oil very 5,000 even I Didn’t think it was Important, Keep Road Flares in the Trunk incase You break down on the Side of The Road Somewhere, Remember to Check the Oil, Periodically Check Your Spare Tire (because the Last thing You need is to get a fucking flat and THEN discovering  Your Spare is Flat Too), Wear Your Seatbelt No Matter What, Always have Jumper Cables in the Car, and to Maintain the Windshield Wipers (there’s No Point in Windshield Wipers if They’re Old, Ratty, and You can’t see Shit.) among Other Things.

Since Cars have Been Around since 1885 it lead Me to Wonder what the Tips for being a Responsible Driver would have been. I found a Few from 1903 through 1919 and Proved to be Way More Amusing than I ever Anticipated, and For that Reason Here They Are:

The Original Old School Hints for Happy Motoring:

  1. Your Engine is Overheated if Steam Rises when You Spit on it. Better Check Your Radiator.
  2. To Remove Dirt and Water from Gas Strain It Through a Chamois (a Type of Soft pliable and Porous Leather made from Sheep or Lamb Skin).
  3. Dump a few Oatmeal Flakes into a Leaking Radiator. They will Swell and Fill the Hole. In Emergencies, Dried Horse Manure will Also Work, and is Usually Available.
  4. Chewing Gum will mend a Leaky Fuel Line.
  5. Pump a Mixture of Chopped Feathers and Hot Molasses into a Worn Tire to Extend its Life. Messy incase of a Blowout.
  6. Guns are No Longer Needed Except in Certain Far Eastern States.
  7. Celluloid Windows are Best Cleaned with Vinegar.
  8. A Windshield Rubbed with a Sliced Onion will Stay Clear on Rainy Days.
  9. A Traveler’s Emergency Equipment should include a Rubber Lap Robe, Goggles, Tow Rope, Pump, Tire-Patching Kit, Canvas Bucket, Cans of GAs and Oil, Block and Tackle, Compass, Tire Chains, Small Tent and Sleeping Bags.
  10. Some States Have Speed Limits so Drive with Care.

Thanks For Reading,

  By Les Sober

(Posted@12:55am)

Malevolent Monday Movie: THE GRINDHOUSE MASSACRE

Welcome to the Malevolent Monday Movie Featuring 2007 Independent Horror Film Directed By Dustin Austen  The Grindhouse Massacre!  

           

Brief Plot Summary:

The Grindhouse Massacre follows a Washed up Scream Queen turned Television Host Named Virginia, whom refuses to do the Very Nude Scenes that made Her Famous in a Movie Titled Evil Bed 2: Nude by Dawn. While trying to take Her Career in a Different Direction as a Host of an Underground Television Horror Show.

When Virginia’s Distributer Threatens to Drop Her because Her Movies are No Longer in Demand. As a Result She  goes on a BLOODY RAMPAGE as She tries to Rid the Business of Stupid, Nudie Horror Films, and the People Who Star/Produce the Movies. Virginia won’t Stop by just KILLING PEOPLE, She’s Documenting the Whole Experience and Plans on Making a Movie that will Resurrect Her Virtually Dead Career.

Enjoy.

We Hope You Enjoyed this Tale of Violence and Revenge as Much as We Did.

Thanks for Watching,

Presented By   Les Sober & FYB

No One Care What The Hell You Had For Lunch.

Social Media has been a crucial tool since its creation that has Contributed to the Ever Growing Societies’s  Egotistical Idiocy. Tech has/had unlimited potential, But People became Addicted to Social Media and its False Sense of Importance. People actually think ANYONE gives a flying fuck what They had for Lunch?! Yet People Post Pictures of Their Lunch likes its the most Awe Inspiring Event of Their fucking Lives.

The One Aspect in the Social Media’s Dumbing Down of America that’s Never Mentioned is the Personal “Status Updates” that People love to Use like there’s No Tomorrow (Facebook being the Number one Offender). You know what I’m talking about it’s those Pre Written Idle Bullshit like “Linda is Loving Life”, “Matt is at Starbucks”, or “Phil changed His Relationship Status to It’s Complicated.” that Users have come to Rely on.

              

Again Who fucking Cares How You Feel every Minute of the Goddamn Day?! You’re Not Nearly That Special. That’s the trick of Social Media it makes You feel far more Important than You actually Ever will be in all likelihood.

It’s the Utter Distain and Unfathomable Contempt for such Social Media Drivel is the Reason I have created a New (More Honest and Way More Realistic) List Status Updates. Enjoy.

  • Barry is Currently having Wild Sex with a Goat.
  • Louis is Busy Cooking Meth
  • Chuck is watching Hardcore German Porn.
  • Dave has Explosive Diarrhea.
  • Warren is Donating Sperm Again.
  • Linda is Hungover as Hell and Projectile Vomiting.
  • Francis is Window Shopping on Amazon like an Asshole.
  • Quinn is Writing Erotic Stories about a Nun and an Alter Boy.
  • Rex is considering a Career as a Urologist.
  • Aron is a Closet Nazi.

              

  • Gill is Bidding on an Antique Chastity Belt on eBay.
  • Luke is Ordering a Mail Order Bride from Croatia.
  • Marry is Doomsday Prepping for the Apocalypse.
  • Richard is Googling How to Preform an At Home Prostate Exam.
  • Will is Surfing the Dark Web for a Hitman.
  • Jerry is Busy Manscaping.
  • Blair is having a Heavy Flow Day.
  • Arnold Believes Pimping Ain’t Easy.
  • Kelly just woke up in a Pool of Her Own Vomit.
  • Zelda is Wondering Why Animal Assholes and the Opening is Soda Lids look the Same.

              

  • Brittany just tried Anal Sex for the First Time.
  • Valerie is Waxing Everything.
  • Billy is Ordering Asian Sex Toys Online.
  • Beth is Considering getting into Porn.
  • Shelby is Eating a Shit Sandwich.
  • Florence is working on Her New Fuzzy Costume for The Furry Ball.
  • Steve is Tripping Balls on Some Insane Blotter Acid.
  • Francine is Getting Furiously Finger Fucked.
  • Larry is imagining what it’s like to Titty Fuck Bob’s Man Boobs.
  • Rick just made an Appointment to get His Taint Tattooed.=

              

  • Carl can’t Handle is Booze.
  • Scott Tried Smoking Crack and Loved it.
  • Alice took a Massive Shit and is Looking at it Now.
  • Nick is Writing Shit on a Bathroom Wall.
  • Gill is refilling His Prescription for Viagra at The Pharmacy.
  • Travis is making All Natural Hand Made Tampons for His Wife.
  • Racheal is Learning How to Taxidermy and Practicing on Roadkill.
  • Sam is practicing making Balloon Animals Using His Dick.
  • Zander Enjoys Hot Sauce Enemas.
  • Albert is a Colonicholic.

              

  • Alice is starting a Flea Circus due to a Vaudeville Fetish.
  • Blair Farted and it smells like She Needs a Proctologist.
  • Stan just Shit Himself standing in Line at a Fast Food Restaurant.
  • Ralph is Thinking of Purchasing a High End Sex Doll for Christmas.
  • Stella is Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor behind WaWa.
  • Freddy is Attending a Family Reunion Where He’s the Creepy Uncle.
  • Stacy still Wets the Bed Weekly.
  • Benny was Banging an Inflatable Sex Doll and it Exploded Blowing off Both His Balls.
  • Nina is becoming Sexually Aroused watching Animals have Sex in a Nature Documentary.
  • Walt is Listening to Anal Cunt’s Greatest Hits.

              

  • Trent is Reading the Current Copy of Guns & Ammo at His Grandmother’s Funeral
  • Tiffany is Coated Head to Toe in KY Jelly.
  • Robbie is Wondering if Sex with a 3rd Cousin Removed Constitutes Incest.
  • Ken is Hiring a Prostitute.
  • Karen is Scoring Drugs Right Now in a Shitty Neighborhood.
  • Eddie is on Psychedelics and Hiding from a Plate of French Fries.
  • Bart just lost a Staring Contest with a Bowl of Oatmeal.
  • Dominic is Sucking off the Band Hanson Backstage.
  • Annie is Considering getting into Fisting.
  • Paula is having Sex in a Coffin to see if Necrophilia is for Her.

              

  • Vivian is Popping Pain Killers and Downing Them with Whiskey.
  • Holly is Polishing Her Nipple Clamp Collection.
  • Herbert is a German Cannibal.
  • Taylor is paying for Collage with the Money He made in Porn as a Stunt Cock.
  • Ryan is Measuring His Dick.
  • Stewart is trying to Figure Out if occasionally peeking at Another Man’s Pecker at the Urinal makes Him Gay.
  • Tiffany is Bleaching Her Asshole because She’s about to get Back into the Dating World.
  • Gary is Cat fishing His Sister.
  • Olga Thinks Hand Jobs are Outdated.
  • Jillian has a Habit of Humping the Homeless.

           

  • Bart got His Dick Stuck in a Swedish Penis Pump.
  • Becky thinks Lindsey Her Best Friend is kinda of a Cunt.
  • Eloise is on the Way to the Emergency Room with a Ruptured Breast Implant.
  • Diana has a Surgically Reconstructed Asshole.
  • Ari is getting Botox Treatments for His Scrotum Wrinkles.
  • Peter is walking His Dog and Watching as it Takes a Shit.
  • Deloris just crapped so Hard She Prolapsed Her Asshole.
  • Sue is Sniffing Glue getting a White Trash High.
  • Dale is making Wind Chimes out of Natty Ice Cans to Sell in the Local Trailer Parks.
  • Gabby Ate Her Inner Child.

                

  • Henry is Growing Shitty Ditch Weed in His Attic.
  • Donovan is in Reddit Chats while Wearing His Grandmother’s Underwear.
  • Jake shot a Man just to Watch Him Die, But Got Distracted and Missed it.
  • Reese got His Dick Stuck in a Chinese Finger Trap He won at the County Fair.
  • Lucy is in Love with an Alcoholic Carnie that reminds Her of Her Dad.
  • Reggie is walking around is House looking for Things He can Use to Improvise a Cock Ring.
  • Selma had Her Stomach Pumped just for the Experience.
  • Trina is Reading About Historic Safe Sex Methods/Practices.
  • Brittany is having Her 17th Abortion.
  • Oliver May Have Been Abducted by Aliens and Extensively Anal Probed.

              

Thanks For Reading,

  By Les Sober

(Posted @ 1:37am)

Hi I’m Mary Mary Series has Ended

We are Both Excited and Saddened to Announce the Unique and Insanely Intriguing Horror Series called Hi I’m Mary Mary has Finally come to an End. We have Posted to Prior Posts which We STRONGLY Advise You watch First. If You choose Not to This Post will make Little no No Sense to You whatsoever Especially as the Videos are in Chronological Order.

A Extremely Brief ReCap:

    • The Main Character is Named Mary who wakes up trapped in a Copy of Her Parent’s House, and Has No Idea How She got There.
    • There a Total of Four Different Demonic Entities in the House along with Mary. The Fiendish Foursome Torment Mary Relentlessly.
    • Mary has an Ally in The Woman In White who Dwells in The Garden, but Mary is Utterly Unaware of This. To make things worse The Lady In White has been Desperately Trying to Relay Messages and Warnings to Mary, Yet Apparently the Four Foul Entities are Intercepting Her Communications.
    • The Series Bleeds Over into Mary’s Actual Twitter Account and Blog, and each Platform provides Clues and Hints as to What is Going on in the Series.

            

  • The Video Titled The Last 8 Months was Posted a Year Ago, and then there were No Updates until May 2020.
  • In May Mary started Posting to Her Twitter Account once again and She was Obviously in a Extremely Dark Place. Mary Tweets that the Lights in the House almost Never turn on at Night, Flashlights Die when She needs them the Most, Food and Water Taste Terrible, Her Voice is Hoarse from Screaming, The Door Bell Keeps Ringing, She Can’t See Us Online, The Veiled Lady is a More Aggressive Tormenter than ever, and Everything is Awful.

An Example of a Couple of Mary’s Tweets From May:

“i have to pick a time or i won’t do it. i know myself too well. i am lazy like she says. it’s 8pm right now. So how about that. 8pm one week from this moment. Maybe she’ll finally kill me and put an end to all this. 8pm”

“I am ready to be done with all this. i am going to finally talk to her. i will finally ask her. one week from today i think, some time after the sun sets. one week to give me some time. to be absolutely sure.”

“one last picture of me hiimmarymaryblog.blogspot.com”

           

  • So from Her Tweets Mary sounds Seriously Suicidal , and is actually Planning to Kill Herself in a Week.
  • Mary Appears to be suggesting She will ask the Veiled Lady to Kill Her thus Ending Her Daily Torment.
  • As Mentioned in the Tweet Above Mary Posted One last Picture of Herself on/to Her Blog with another HIDDEN MESSAGE in the Source Code.
  • The Message is from The Lady In White Who Needs Our Help.The Lady In White at a Certain Poin is going to Break the Wall Between Mary and the Rest of Us. This will allow Mary to See Us online Again, and that a Flood of Notifications Must Happen to Assure She Does.
  • Luckily for Poor Mary This Plan comes to Fruition (in the knick of time) in the Video Titled “anagnorisis which was Posted On May 29, 2020 and Serves as The Catalyst of the Series.
  • Seeing Her Notifications again Proves to Mary The Veiled Lady has been Lying to Her all Along telling Her that No One Cares about Her.
  • An Enraged Mary has the Courage to Confront The Veiled Lady who Runs from Mary when Confronted, and Mary Chases After Her as The Hunter becomes the Hunted.
  • During the Chase Mary ends up in The Garden where She converses with The Darkness, and Relieves all Her Past Torment during which Mary can Her the Lady In White at Last.
  • The Lady In White Comfort and Reassures Mary that “We Have You.”

           

  • The Lady In White can Aide Mary by Serving as A Guide to Help Mary Escape from Her Tormenters and The House Itself.
  • In The Garden The Lady In White informs Mary that She has The Power to Change this Place, and Enough Power to Free Herself from Being Imprisoned in The House. Mary learns She has this Power (to “Take the darkness and make it your own.”) because She Created this Hellish Alternate Reality.
  • This Leads to a great deal of Self Realization on Mary’s Part who takes The Lady In White’s Guidance, and Turns the Tables on Her Terrifying Tormenters. Mary Armed with the Knowledge that She created these Demonic Creatures so She can Destroy Them As Well does Exactly that.
  • Mary Finds Herself Pitted in a One on One Battle against The Veiled Lady who is Ultimately Vanquished (along with The Darkness) having been Expelled by Mary From The House.
  • When Marry Awakens after the Exhausting Fight and Goes Upstairs She finds the Rock She Brought in from the Garden, but more Importantly the Front Door is Wide Open.

            

  • The Last Video of the Hi I’m Mary Mary simply Titled Goodbye was Posted on May 30, 2020.
  • We don’t won’t to Give Away Anything about the Final Episode so Here is the Description that Was Posted Along with the Video Itself.

“So I guess this is it, huh? Thank you, everyone. I couldn’t have done this without your help. Now, I’ll keep fighting. And you should too. Please keep fighting.

Out the door I go!

I love you all so, so much. Thank You.

Goodbye.

-Mary

           

So What was it All About You may be asking Yourself well there Two Schools of Thought when it comes to the Series’s Meaning. In Our Previous Posts We Stated it was a Metaphor for Someone Struggling with Alcohol/Drug Addiction and this is Still True.

The Other School of Thought is some what Similar in that the Series is Symbolic of a Person’s Struggle Fighting, Surviving, Learning to Understand and Overcome Depression (and the Monsters of One’s Own Mind) presented through a Horror Web Series.

Either Way Hi I’m Mary Mary is a One of a Kind Work of Sheer Genious Hands Down. It Truly is a Project to be Proud Of so Thank You Mary for Sharing Your Journey through Hell and Back.

Enjoy.

Hope You Enjoyed This Insanely Brilliant Psychological Horror Series as Much as We Did.

Thanks For Reading/Watching,

Presented By    Les Sober & FYB

The Purity Knight Murder Controversy (Police Footage Found)

We been sitting on this Little Oddity for Quite a While having Allocated it to the Preverbal Back Burner if You Will. This Tormented Tale has Not One, BUT Two Twists So You Don’t want to Miss that Shit Trust Us. Honestly the Second is the so called Big Twist, but You may opt to Not watch the Video and just Read the Rest. It’s Up to You.

  • In 1997 a Young Woman by the Name of Purity Knight and Her Roommate where having a Growing Problem with a Unknown Stalker.
  • One Night Knight’s Neighbor Notices Someone Outside and Goes to Investigate Startling the Stalker who Took Off Running into the Night.
  • The Stalker was so Startled that He/She had Left Their Camera Behind on Which were Several Pictures of Knight obviously taken without Her Knowledge.
  • Several Days After the Neighbor-Stalker Run In Knight Disappears, and During the Investigation the Detectives working the Case Received 3 Pieces of Mail.

            

  • The First Piece of Mail was a Map with a Taunting Letter:

May 1, 1997

ARMSTRONG

I cannot believe that you are unable to locate Purity Knight. Are you blind? Will I have to deliver her to your door?

In this most humble, yet most homely narrative which I am about to pen, I neither expect nor solicit belief.

PURITY KNIGHT IS ALIVE

I do not expect her condition to improve. If she dies in there it will be on your hands. Your hands–not mine.

A friend.

  • The Second was a Photo of Knight inside of some Bizarre Box, and on the Back there was a Note that Read: In the Silence of the Night How we Shiver with Affright.
  • The Last Piece of Mail was another Picture this one a Close Up of Knight still Confined in the Bizarre Box.
  • Less than a Month Later Knight’s Corpse was discovered in a Pine Grove by a Man out Walking. He was just taking a stroll and just so happened to Notice the Bizarre Box laying off the Beaten Path.
  • Corey Taylor the Lead Singer of Slipknot it was Rumored had read the Knight Case, and had used it as Inspiration for the Slipknot Song “Purity”

            

AND NOW FOR THE FIRST (aka The Little) TWIST:

  • Purity Knight is NOT a Real Person.
  • The Purity Knight Case was a Fake.
  • The Case was Posted on CrimeScene.Org which features Fictitious Cases for Law Enforcement/Government Agencies/Amateur Detectives/Private Investigators Etc.
  • Slipknot was hit with a Copy Right Infringement Lawsuit by the Creator of the Purity Knight Case, and Pulled the Song from Their then Upcoming Album. Slipknot went on to claim the Song “Purity” was in Fact inspired by Movies like The Collector and Boxing Helena. In the End Slipknot Won the Law Suit and are Now Allowed to Play Their Song “Purity” Live in Concert.

NOW WITHOUT FURTHER AWAIT THE SECOND TWIST (aka The BIG ONE)! which Stems from the Video Posted Below with the Pertainent Information Undernieth It.

  • Thirteen Years Later in 2010 the Above Video Titled RARE Purity Knight Buried Alive (Police Footage Found) was Posted to Youtube. The Video claimed to be From the Camera The Stalker Dropped when He/She Ran Away from the Neighbor, and that it had been Kept from the Public Pending Investigation.
  • Accompanying the Video was an Alleged Police Report that Reads:

In early March of 1997 Purity Knight and Her Roommate Perez were the victims of a stalking incident. A neighbor, Johnny McPhail, spotted the stalker sometime before 11:00pm in a tree in front of the apartment outside their windows. He reported seeing lights from the Tree. Mr. McPhail went out to check and then pursued the subject through the woods. The suspect was not caught. Mr. McPhail described the suspect as small build, approximately about 5″8″ in Height with a light complexion. Footprints where found at the scene when the Responding Officer Arrived. Also Recovered at the scene was a 35mm Digital Camera dropped by the Fleeing Suspect. The camera showed a number of photographs taken, and a video which will not be shown to the public, and will only be shown to the Detectives and those Directly involved in the Case. For Police Eyes Only.

NOW THIS IS WHERE SHIT GETS WEIRD

  • Though the Purity Knight Case was a Fake it NEVER Mentions or Alludes to a Video.
  • If the Creator intended the Video to be Part of the Case Why didn’t They Ever Provide a Link for it? I think it’s more than Safe to say the Creator did Not intend the Video to be a Part of the Case to Begin with.
  • During the Entire Slipknot Song LawSuit on which Cory Taylor/Slipknot Commentated Extensively on Neither EVER Mentioned or Alluded to the Video.
  • Also there in NO Mention of the Video on 99% of the Forms pertaining to the Purity Knight Case.
  • The 2010 Video and Audio far Exceeded that of a any Available Video Camera in 1997.

So Where Does This Leave Us You May be Wondering at this Point and We wouldn’t Blame You. This Leaves Us with just a Single and EXTREMELY UNNERVING THEORY which is as Follows. The Video is Indeed Real and Shows an Actual Victim is Being Buried Alive, and The Killer is using the Purity Knight Case as a Cover Up ( possibly as Unsolicited Fan Fiction) to Hide the Crime.

Thanks For Reading/Watching,

Presented By  Les Sober & FYB

What With All The Warning/ What Are All These Warnings About?!

In the Fledgeling Days of FYB I specifically Stated FYB Would NOT use Warnings of Any Kind as We Deemed it a Form of Censorship. I mean How the fuck do We have Free Speech under the First Amendment, BUT the same Government Who gave Us Freedom of Speech creates the Federal Communication Commission?! The FCC’s ONly Job is to Censor What People Can and Can’t Say or Show so again how the Fuck does that constitute Freedom of Speech for Fuck’s Sake?

What We discovered was Not placing any type of Warning on the Kind of Content We Traffic in (the Unconventional, the Unorthodox, Strange, Controversial, and Disturbing/Dark) Opened Us up to Shit Storm of Complaints, Objections, and Pissed off People.

            

Since We hate dealing with Bitchy People We Knew We had to go back to the Drawing Board. I ended up writing a Subsequent Post that We would Provide a “Head’s Up” to Our Fans if there was Objectionable Content contained within a Post. I simply and Lazily Adopted the TV/Movie Rating System only to Abandon it a Day Later. Why I thought would I want to Emulate What I Objected To?

So We were back at Square fucking One Again needing Some Sort of Acceptable Solution for Us and Our Fans. Utilizing the Premise of the “Viewer Discretion Advised” Model We collected a Small Variety of Different Warning Labels. This of Course raised Questions unto itself as to Why and What was the Reasoning behind the Selected Warnings. Well We have grown Weary of Repeatedly Explaining it to People on a Individual Basis thus We concluded a Proper Post was Needed pertaining to Said Warnings.

This is the Warning We use When We Personally DO NOT Think there is Anything Really all that Objectionable, BUT We use this Warning to Over Our Asses just incase.

This is Our General Warning which again is Not that Serious in Our Eyes, But the Colors seem to Garner a Stronger Sense that One SHOULD HEED THIS/THE WARNING.

This One is about a Simple and Straight Forward as Warnings Come. We use this Warning when We Know There is Content within the Post that a Great Number of People would find OFFENSIVE. We also use this Warning once in a while as a Second Additional Warning incase We think We should still Cover Our Asses a Bit More. Think of it Ironically as an Exclamation Point backing Up THE ORIGINAL WARNING again Just in Case.

This Warning is the One We Use when We are Serious about the Fact that said Post Contains OFFENSIVE, OBJECTIONABLE, OBSCENE, or Otherwise DISTURBING CONTENT contained within it.

This is the First of Our Top 3 Warnings which Should Not be taken at Face Value. If You see This Warning You Should Expect the Content in the Post is BEYOND A DOUBT OFFENSIVE/OFFENDING, SHOCKING, DARK, OBSCENE, DISTURBING, AND WILL ILLICIT A STRONG REACTION From Most People!!!

This Warning is Almost Identical to the One Above it with One Serious Exception. The Exception is the Second Line of the Warning that States”VIEWER DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED. If You see this Warning DO NOT take it Lightly. This Warning Guarantees there is More than Enough OBJECTIONABLE, OFFENSIVE, DISTURBING, SICKENING, SHOCKING, SEXUAL, GRAPHIC, VIOLENT, Or in Any Other Way Troubling. THIS WARNING IS NO JOKE so if You are Easily Offended, Angered, Sickened, or have a Weak Stomach DO NOT VIEW ANY POST WITH THIS WARNING!!!!!

This Warning is The End All Be All of Our Warnings. This is such a Serious Warning We have actually Only Used it Once or Twice over the Years. This essentially means what You are About to See is THE MOST ABSOLUTELY EXTREMEST, GRAPHIC, OFFENSIVE, OBSCENE, DISTURBING, SICK, TWISTED, DARK, VIOLENT, SEXUAL, DEMENTED, TRAUMATIC, AND DEEPLY TROUBLING Content Ever Created. If You See this Warning unless You’re HONESTLY a HARDCORE FAN of Some Seriously FUCKED UP SHIT then Please Do US both a Favor and SKIP IT. Again the Content in said Post is ONLY For the Most DIEHARD FANS OF THE EXTREME!!!!!!!

To be Truthful No One should Really View ANY Post with this Warning Period.

Thanks For Reading,

By    Les Sober & FYB 

Friday Horrorfest Film: THE LAST SUPPER

Welcome to Friday Horrorfest Film featuring THE LAST SUPPER the 2007 Japanese Cannibal Slasher Horror Film Written and Directed by Osamu Fukutani. The Last Supper is Based on the Work “The Shonan Flesh Eating Conspiracy” by Kei Ohishi ( a Writer Know for His Novelizations of Popular Horror Movies). Just the Mere Mention of Cannibalism would make Most of Us Feel Uneasy Due to its Disturbing and Taboo Nature. In the World of Film Cannibalism could be considered an Important Sub-Genre of the Exploitation Movie Era which was Popular in the 1970’s and 1980’s.

           

Brief Plot Summary: A Plastic Surgeon named Kato Excels at His Job hides a Dark and Deadly Secret. After Finally Succumbing to His Desire to Taste Human Flesh, Kato soon finds Himself ADDICTED TO THE TASTE OF HUMAN FLESH! Kato’s Newly Indulged Cannibalistic Tendencies lead Him to Discover Further Culinary Delights at a Seedy Underground Restaurant with some Extremely Sinister Dishes. MURDER AND MAYHEM ENSUE as the Dementedly Detestable Doctor Continues to find New and Gruesome ways to Satisfy His Abnormal Appetite.

     

The Last Supper contains a Ton of Bloodshed and Splatter Movie Gore (Including Decapitations, Face Ripping, Limb Dismemberment, Heart Ripping) and Seriously Bizarre and Chilling Highlights that include Kato talking to the SEVERED HEADS OF HIS VICTIMS while Dining on Their Flesh, a BLOOD CURDLING Wedding Finally, and a Sequence where the Underground Restaurant/Night Club has a Sickening Special on Their Menu where a Female Dancer is Decapitated with Her Body Sliced Up and Cooked. Kato is the Film’s Main Viewing Strength in the Manner He Remains Cool and Calm while Performing GRISLY AND MURDEROUS ACTS upon His Victims (and Let’s Face it Kato and the Gore are the Main Reason to Check Out The LAst Supper).

Enjoy.

We Hope You Enjoyed This Tasty Tale of a Flesh Eating Psychopath as Much as We Did.

Thanks For Watching,

Presented By  Les Sober & FYB

(Post Time 12:19am)