Short Horror Movie Madness: Goat Witch (Uncensored)

We are Delighted to bring You the Short Occult Horror Film “GOAT WITCH” Written and Directed by James Sizemore, and Presented by ALTER.

What Happens when a Witch just Doesn’t want to Summon a Demon using Black Magic, But actually want to BECOME THE DEMON?! The Film is Features an Abundance of Blood, Human Sacrifice, Ritual, Occult Practices, the Conjuring of Evil Spirits, Ample Nudity, Graphic Violence, a Demonic Goat Headed Drummer, and The Resurrected Elders who are Two Rotting Corpses  donning Monk like Robes. The Goat Witch is simply a Short Horror Film that Doesn’t Pull Any Punches. Enjoy.

Hope You enjoyed this Little Black Magic Morsel as Much as We Did.

Thanks for Watching,

 Brought to You By Les Sober

The Mystery of Meatsleep’s Deleted Content (26-31)

Welcome to another installment of The Mystery of Meatsleep’s Deleted Content (Videos 26-31). Not to beat a Dead Horse, but if You haven’t seen the Previous Installments We highly recommend that You Do as the Videos are Posted in Chronological Order. Also in Addition to the Meatsleep Video’s We posted Additional Information pertinent to the Meatsleep Mystery as a Whole. Now for Those Who are Not yet in the Know the Intrigue behind Meatsleep’s Videos’s is the Ever Present Question of are They Real or are They Fake This Fake? What We mean by that is are the Videos part of an Elaborate Art Project or Are They the Real Life Documentations of an Actual Serial Killer.

Now the Following may seem redundant or inconsequential, BUT when it comes to Complex Mysteries You can’t afford to take ANYTHING at Face Value. It’s just like the Wise Man George Carlin said, “QUESTION EVERYTHING”, and thats exactly what We intend to Do. With that said We are Wondering what the fuck could the Name/User Name/Alias possibly mean? Granted it’s a Strange User Name, Yet there might be a bit more to it once You start to Scratch the Surface. Those who believe the Video’s are in fact a Real Life Serial Killer’s recordings the Name Meatsleep allegedly stands for the Following. Meat would be a reference to the Killer’s Victims as the Killer is referring to His/Her Victim’s a Meat as in “A Piece of Meat”, and Sleep is a Reference to The Eternal Slumber of Death.

           

Some from the Same School of Thought have hypothesized that MeatSleep isn’t the Actual Killer, But is an Escaped Victim of the Killer. In that case the name Meatsleep takes on a entirely different connotation in this situation where Meat is used to Infer “Dead Meat” as in “Your Dead Meat!”, and again Sleep equals Death. This would indicate the Victim not only Escaped from the Clutches of the Killer, but in a twist of Fate the Escaped Victim Murdered the Killer too.

The most Curiously Interesting Detail of the Meatsleep Name before Meatsleep’s Youtube Account was Completely Deleted at the Top of Meatsleep’s Channel List Was: U001f356 which is Unicode for The Classic Meat Emoji, and We mean the Cave Man Like Emoji with a Hunk of Meat on an Bone. The Other thing about the Meatsleep name that has been bouncing around in Our Skulls is Meatsleep’s Deleted Facebook Account and Defunct Twitter Account were both under the User Name Sewnskin Meatsleep. So if you Spit the First Part of the Name being Sewnskin You get the Two Words that read Sewn Skin making the full Name read Sewn Skin Meatsleep. We can’t Help but Wonder if this in Fact a Reference to the Horror Movie Iconic Villain Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Franchise. Let’s face it Leatherface wears a Mask made of Human Skin that He sows Together, He’s a Cannibal, and He’s a Serial Killer. Thus it covers all the Major Bases Sewn Skin, Meat, and Murder. Enjoy.

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Thanks For Watching,

  By Les Sober

Russian Scientist Vladimir Demikhov’s 2 Headed Dog Experiments

Vladimir Petrovich Demikhov was a Soviet Scientist and Organ Transplant Pioneer, Who preformed Preformed several Transplants in the 1940’s and 1950’s, including the Transplantation of a Heart into an Animal as well as a Heart-Lung Replacement in an Animal. Demikhov is mostly Known for His Notoriously Extreme Experimental Transplantation reminiscent of something out of Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein. Demikhov became Well known (to say the Least) for His Dog Head Transplants, conducted during the Late the 1940’s, Resulting in TWO HEADED DOGS. These Sci Fi like Experiments where a SUCCESS and the Two Headed Dogs that Demikhov Surgically Created lived anywhere from just 2 Days all the Way up to an astonishing 38 Days before Death.

           

On February of 1954 Demikhov’s first Transplantation Experiment was conducted, He transplanted a Dog’s Head onto ANOTHER Dog’s Body, using Vascular Connections to the Host Dog’s Heart.  Utterly Ignoring the Condemnation from His Critics, Demikhov continued with this particular Line of Experimentation, becoming More Successful over time. His Transplantation Work was Widely Reported inside the Soviet Union (Now Russia), where it was CONTINUOUSLY CRITICIZED for being Utterly UNETHICAL.

Below We have Included Two Explanatory Videos (The Long and The Short Version) first and Foremost. We have also included Two Additional Video’s that are ACTUAL FOOTAGE of Demikhov’s Experimental 2 HEADED DOGS ( located below the Explanatory Videos). Enjoy.

Explanation of Experiment with Actual Footage (Short Version)

Explanation of Experiment (Lengthy Version 19 minutes and 32 Seconds)

Addition Footage:

Hope You Enjoyed the Sinisterly Sick Science as Much as We Did.

Thanks for Watching,

 Brought to You By Les Sober

FYB Sunday Night Slaughter Cinema: The Mountain Of The Cannibal God!!!

FYB Sunday Night Slaughter Cinema is Prouder than a Pig in Shit to Present the 1978 Italian Cannibal Horror Film THE MOUNTAIN OF THE CANNIBAL GOD! The Film was also Widely Released in the America in 1979 under the Title Slave of the Cannibal God, and was released in the UK under the Alternate Title Prisoner of the Cannibal God (The Film was Subsequently BANNED until 2001 due to the Films GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, and was considered a “Nasty Video”).

           

Plot Summery:

Susan Stevenson is trying to find Her Missing Anthropologist Husband, Henry, Deep in the Jungle of New Guinea. Along with Her brother Author Susan enlists the Services of Professor Edward Foster who thinks Her Husband may have headed for the Mountain Ra Ra Me. The Locals believe that the Mountain is CURSED, and the Authorities will NOT Allow Expeditions there, so the Search Party sneaks into the Jungle disregarding the Locals and the Law. Along Their Search the Group meets fellow Explorer Manolo who agrees to Join Them on Their Expedition. Matters become even more complicated as it becomes evident None of the Search Party are in fact concerned about Finding Susan’s Missing Husband including Susan Herself.

           

Upon arriving at the Mountain, Author is KILLED and Manolo and Susan are Captured by a PRIMITIVE TRIBE OF CANNIBALS and taken to Their Camp. Once They reach the Camp They discover the Cannibals Worshipping the DEAD REMAINS of Susan’s Husband (Who’s still Ticking Geiger Counter is mistaken by the Cannibals for Author’s still Beating Heart). Susan is subsequently Spared  from being SLAUGHTERED, and the Tribe of Cannibals Feast on other HUMAN AND REPTILE FLESH. Manolo is tied up and TORTURED, while the Other Members of the Group are EATEN. Meanwhile Susan has been transformed by Two Tribal Women into the embodiment of a Living Goddess. Manolo and Susan eventually manage to escape the Clutches of the Cannibals each having Suffered and Endured Their own Ordeals. Enjoy.

We Hope You Enjoyed The Cannibalistic Carnage as Much as We Did.

Thanks for Watching,

Presented by Les Sober

How Is That Dog Not Dead?!

Back when I was a Kid about once a Year or So My Family would load up in the Car and Head to Maine for a Week Long Get a Way. My Parents would rent a House along with Their Friends The Higgins (who had Two Kids yet They were Much Older than Me so They weren’t around A lot), and We would all meet up at the Rental House on the designated Date of Arrival. We wouldn’t do any type of Touristy Cliche Family Oriented bullshit We just enjoyed Nature and Each others Company. It was a Simpler Time for Sure.

This was back in the Day before Dog Boarding became a Trend so My Family would take Our Golden Retriever Tasha along for the Trip with Us. The only issue with having the Tasha with Us on these Trips was She suffered from Extreme Separation Anxiety. Again this was back when People didn’t know what Separation Anxiety even was and, People were Baffled to why They’re Dog’s were being so Neurotic and Destructive. The problem at hand caused Tasha to flip the fuck out when We left the House without Her and She’d bolt around the House knocking over furniture, Breaking Shit, and Chewing the Front Door Frame like a Starving Piranha.

           

Thats wasn’t all it didn’t end with just the Typical Separation Anxiety Behavior like I said earlier Tasha was afflicted with a Extreme Case of Separation Anxiety which caused Her insane Behavior to Escalate beyond belief. Once Tasha had gotten Her self completely Frantic She would actually JUMP THROUGH A WINDOW like some sort of Action Movie. Thus during one of Our later Trips to Maine My Parents and Their Friends went around the Entire House Barricading the Windows like something out of a fucking Zombie Movie. They Blocked Windows with Bookcases and Over Turned Tables among other things until the House felt more like fucking Fort Knox. Satisfied the Dog and House were Safe and Secure We all went out for Dinner at a Local Restaurant without a second thought.

After having Stuffed Ourselves on Lobster and Other types of Maine’s wonderfully Fresh Seafood We headed directly back to the Rental House. When We arrived My Parents were thrilled to see the House hadn’t been Trashed (just minority discombobulated), and there was No Sign of Damage to the Door due to Frenzied Chewing. Everyone was so elated by the fact the House and all its windows were in Tact No One Noticed that Tasha who normally would bum rush Us upon Our return was No Where to be Found. Slowly the Our Group spread Out to investigate, and as the search continued there still was not a single sign of the Dog. My Father then speculated that Tasha being unable to escape by jumping through a fucking Window as Per Usual had retreated Upstairs to hide under a Bed or in a Closet instead.

         

My Father promptly went up stairs to see if His Hypothesis was indeed correct, but the Dog still remained Illusive as Ever. In a matter of no time at all Everyone was upstairs searching under beds, in Closets, under/in piles of discarded Clothes, Bath Tube, and anywhere They could think of that the Dog possibly could be. Again the Search turned up nothing at all and now Everyone felt as if They were losing Their fucking Minds. Everyone split up after the Upstairs Search Party to continue to Search for the Missing Dog. It wasn’t soon before everyone was strolling around the House utterly Befuddled by it all. Everyone of Us ended up pacing around asking questions out loud like “Did We Lock the Back Door?”, “Where could Tasha Be?”, “Where did the Dog disappear to?”, “This doesn’t make sense!” and other such questions.

We were so Confused We unofficially ended Our Search to stand around to staring at one another in a Haze Dumbfounded as Fuck. Now Unfortunately it was son many Moons ago I don’t remember exactly Who Discovered what had Happened to the Mysteriously Missing Canine. All I remember is some one Shouting that they had found out what Happened so the rest of Us once again ran up stairs to see what was going on. The second story of the House had a pretty Basic You went up a stare case and once at the top of the Stairs if You looked directly in front of You there was a Long Narrow Hallway with a Natural Wood Floor that reminded Me of looking down a Bowling Ally Lane. On each side of the Hallway there were Two Bedrooms, and if You looked behind You when You were standing in said Hallway You’d see the Bathroom at one End and a Single Window at the Other.

       

When We all clamored upstairs We were informed that the Dog Tasha had in fact Jumped out of the SECOND STORY Hallway Window. We all instantly looked in the Direction of the Window, and it was indeed Broken like a motherfucker. To make things even more Grim below the Hallway Window was the Front Door where the Owner had installed a rather Large Cement Slab to serve as a Rudimentary Porch/Sitting Area. At that point We had to come to grips with the Sad Fact that Tasha had Jumped out of the Second Story Window (with No Way of Clearing the Cement Slab), and Limped or Crawled Off into the Woods to Die as Dogs are apt to do. The rest of the Night We all sat around forlorn as fuck, and in total disbelief at the situation We had returned to after a Nice Dinner Out. Finally We all concluded it was a freak accident, We were all upset by the series of Events that occurred, and that tomorrow would be a New Day and so We went to Sleep.

My Father had a Life Long Habit of waking up Before the Crack of Dawn Typically around 4:30am while the Rest of Us continued to Slumber for Several more Hours. Once My Father had made His mandatory Cup of Coffee He went to retrieve the Morning Paper, and when He opened the Door the Dog was Sitting there waiting. Not only was Tasha Alive and waiting for My Father to get the Paper She didn’t have a single scratch, Bruise, Not even a Limp after Jumping out the Second Story Window onto a Concrete fucking Slab. When the Rest of Us arose at Last We were treated to this splendid tale of Tasha’s miraculous (and equally unreal) Return.

          

Tasha lived out the Rest of Her life without issue and passed at the Ripe Old Age of 14, and until the Day I Die I will never forget Tasha the Luckiest Dog to have Lived in My mind. A Few Years after this volatile vacation We had phased out Our Periodic Trips to Maine but not due to this Incident. It was more than likely due to My Parents Dear Friend Don (who had Moved to Maine with His Wife after He retired from Teaching), and previous Colleeg Pasted of Natural Causes aka Old Age. Thus Maine has a Special place in My Fondest Memories because Alls Well That Ends Well as They Say.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

My Wife Took Me To Dinner In Hell

As I have mentioned several times before I’m not a Social Person and I generally find People to be Disappointing Overall. Thats why I detest Crowds be they Smaller or Larger, Sports Bars, Waiting on/in Line, Waiting Rooms, Traffic of Any Kind, Other Driver’s (I think most People don’t know dick about Driving), Movie Theaters, House or Large Parties, Festivals, County Fairs, Clubs, Restaurants, and All that  Other Out and About Bullshit People are Into.

So when My Wife gets an Opportunity to Drag Me Away from My Extreme Reclusive Tendencies She takes it in a fucking Heart Beat. This was the Case Not too Long ago when Our Brother in Arms N@P Stopped by to Visit in route to the Great White North My Wife was presented such an Opportunity. My Wife who is Out Going and Much More Social than I am Exploited the fact N@P is just as Out going as She to Stack the Odds in Her Favor. The easiest way to get Me to agree to something is to make it Food Related. It’s the most Admittedly Easiest way to Manipulate Me into Participating in any  Act of Social Conformity. Access to Alcohol (especially Beer) is an Equally Effective form of Manipulation because I like Beer so when Someone says Something like “Let’s get a Beer” or “Let Me Buy you a Beer” or “Let’s go to the Bar” how can I Ultimately complain?! I just think to Myself sure why not at least if it Sucks I can have a fucking Beer and feel better about the Bullshit Situation.

           

Knowing My Achilles Heel suggested We go out and get a Bite to Eat, and Low and behold She had a Restaurant already in Mind. Since N@P and I had downed a couple of Beers I was more susceptible to the Power of Suggestion so I asked what kind of fucking Restaurant was it that She had in Mind? My Wife Replied that it was a Mexican Restaurant that She had never been to, BUT Once in a While at Work My Wife and Her Co-Works will Order Lunch and Picked it Up (aka Fancy Man’s Take Out). I thought it be pretty fucking cool to have a chance to Eat some actual Authentic Mexico Food instead of the Americanized Taco Bell Version for a change so off We went. You see N@P is so goddamn Fluidly Zen on All Levels that He was up for Anything. We could have the World’s Most Expensive Caviar at a Michelin Star Restaurant or Eating $1 Hotdogs from a Cart standing on the Street N@P would be equally as Happy.

           

When We pulled up to the Rather Large Restaurant the first fucking thing I noticed was the Parking Lot was full as fuck. In fact it looked as if it was so fucking full the Overflow was parking along a Vacant Lot which currently was a plain grass Field. This immediately made Me Unamused as now not only was it a Restaurant it was a Packed as Hell Restaurant thus inevitably be Crowded as it possible could be. This meant there could be a long wait which in My mind was just just Insult to Injury really. Not only that but with a Crowded Restaurant its Loud so Back Round Noise is a Big Old Bitch, and wherever I sit be it at a Table or Booth or at the Bar I feel fucking Surrounded like I’m fucking Boxed in. Lastly I also seriously prefer to be sitting with My back to the Wall where I can see the the Door in particular as well as the rest of the Restaurant.

My assumptions in the parking lot were Dead on Accurate yet that wasn’t all there was an Extra Asshole Bonus awaiting Us lurking just inside the Front fucking Doors. The waiting room was Impressively Large and filled with fucking Customer’s standing essentially shoulder to shoulder like Human Cattle. The problem as it turned out was there wasn’t an Ounce of Organization in the Place at least We sure as Hell didn’t see it.

Not only were People entering and Exiting the Restaurant in Significant Numbers there was also the Current Customers trying to Navigate through in Search of their Table or perhaps the Restroom. In addition to all that crap there was No designated System for Customer to check out efficiently as the Cash Registers where crammed into the Farthest corner of the Room. That and apparently form any sort of Line was out of the fucking Question as People looking to Pay just lingered around like a School of Confused fucking Fish.

           

To make things more Chaotic the Restaurant apparently didn’t have a Bar so there wasn’t an Option to wait to be seated in the Bar which is an insanely great idea in General. Luckily they did serve Beer so that was a kind of crappy consolation prize in My opinion since I’d have to wait to be seated before I could order a Beer. Lastly the WaitingArea/ Lobby has a Very High Ceiling and Bare Walls (which were painted a lovely shade Of Refried Bean Baby Shit) so all the annoying noise was amplified by 2. As I was about to hit My breaking Point and was about to come completely unhinged I noticed My Wife had a rather confused look on Her face. Apparently the Hostess had shoved Her way through the Horde of Dinners to let Us know Our table was ready and to Follow Her, BUT in the Middle of all the Bullshit My Wife was the only one who heard her. It didn’t help that the Hostess did a walk by and kept walking and disappeared back into the Hungry Horde of Customers.

           

Now from the Outside the Restaurant looked like Your Typical Open Floor Plan, but once You entered the Building You realize that is comprised of a Maze of Small Dinning Rooms that twists and Turns like Mating Snakes. Once We were seated I looked around the Room looking at the Decor which was Insane it looked like the most Generic and Mildly Racist Interior Design I have ever fucking witnessed. I felt like I was eating in the World’s Shittiest Amusement Park or Perhaps a fucked up County Fair. There were Fake Windows and Aesthetic Awning complete with a Door (as well as windows on each side)I suppose to imitate Mexico Architecture, yet it just made it feel like a Second Rate Fun House. At one Point My Wife pointed the Door Out and jokingly asked “Who Lives There?” to which I answered “The Devil since You brought Me to Hell” causing N@P to Laugh like a Hyena on Laughing Gas.

           

The Only other Decorative component of the Cramped little Dinning Room was a Rather Racist Depiction of a Mexican Man sitting on a Stool outside in a Farm Yard. The Man was sitting directly behind the a Saddle while holding the Reigns so for all intents and purposes made it look like the Man in the Picture was about to have Sex with the Saddle. This caused Me to Immediately dubbed the Picture/Depiction “The Saddle Fucker” again to the Great Delight of N@P.

The last Oddity I observed was a Decently sized Flat Screen with the Sound turned off without the Closed Caption turned on. Without the Subtitles on the bottom of the Screen there was No Way of Knowing what the hell anyone on the TV was saying. Not only that it was installed above any reasonable Sight Level so 90 plus Percent of the Small Dinning Room could even fucking See it to begin with. The Only Customers who could see the TV for all it was worth (which was Nothing) was Our Table and The One in front of it as well as the one behind it. It was also located in an Unusual Spot sitting to the Right of a Corner in the Room and was also slightly but noticeably Tilted.

A Extremely Pleasant Surprise after having to endure the Horrid Decor and Abominable Waiting Area was the Fact Our Waitress was Accessional. She wasn’t just attentive to Or Table, but She was Intuitive as well. What I mean by that is for example if Your Beer was almost done before You could even complete the Though “Oh Man I need a Beer so Time to do the Whole Wheres My Waitress?!” She had a Fresh Beer already on the Table. That attention to Detail is not only Admirable but far beyond rare in this Age of Shitty Customer Service Assholes.

           

The Other pleasant Surprise was the Food, it was Utterly Awesome to say the fucking least. The most interesting thing was something I have never experiences I have had the Pleasure of Having. I memory is shit but I ordered aSteak Burrito of some sort and when it arrived I was Genuinely Surprised. The Burrito was just that No Bullshit Garnish or Bells and Whistles pompous bullshit. What I mean is it wasn’t topped with Salsa and Guacamole and all the shit you see at Apple Bee’s or Chili’s. It was EXACTLY what I fucking ordered a Burrito. The Intriguing thing was instead of the bullshit stereotypical Burrito it was served in a Brown Gravy for lack of a better word. It was Truly Exquisite.

So in the End I who am NOT easily impressed in lou of all the shit I hated about it was glad I went. Ultimately the Kick Ass Customer Service, Awesome Food, and 33 Ounce Beers Won Me over Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

Tid Bits For Shits and Giggles: ROBOT STRIPPER

Today’s Up and Coming Technology is bringing Science Fiction Fantasies to Life at an Incredible Rate. And let’s face it when it Comes to Robots the Rule of Thumb is if You Build a Robot and Someone will Try and have Sex with It. Since the Concept of Robots first crossed Scientist’s Minds there has always been a Symbiotic Sexual Component, and this is probably due to the Fact that more times than not Robots are Depicted in a Humanoid Form.  Even with the Field of Robotics in its Infancy there a Slew of Video Footage of Stripper Robots (aka Strip Bots) preforming short Strip Routines some even Utilizing a Stripper Pole (Though it seems Solely for Balance Reasons).

           

We selected this one for a few reasons the first is it’s the Most Human Looking Strip Bot We saw. Another reason was We noticed the Robots Creator/Builder opted to make the Robot Blonde because Blonde Robots must have More Fun Too. Also the Creator/Builder CHOSE to equip the Strip Bot with an Ample Set of Boobs, and Let’s face it Robots are Genderless so the Fact it is Female is the Creators/Builders Decision. Now by Far the Oddest Part about the Strip Bot is it appears to be wearing some sort of Medieval Goblin Mask which raises a couple of Questions. The First would be why the fuck would someone go to all the Trouble of making a Human looking as Possible Strip Bot only to Cover the Face with a Shitty Halloween Mask? Did the Creator/Builders simply Run out of Parts and grabbed whatever was Handy like say a Mask or is this a Eyes Wide Shut situation? Is there a Goblin Fetish that this particular Strip Bot is designed to cater to? We unfortunately will Never Know. Enjoy

Thanks for Watching,

Brought to You by Les Sober

Tid Bits for Shits and Giggles: TEDDY HAS AN OPERATION

Sometimes Things are Uncatagorically  Funny so We here at FYB decided instead of Letting these Little Bits fall by the Unappreciated  Roadside as it were, and instead Decided We’d give them Their Own Stage to Play Out Upon. This is Our Inaugural Installment of Tid Bits For Shits and Giggles featuring TEDDY NEEDS AN OPERATION by Steve O’Brien.

We stumbled over this Little Piece of Absurdity and While it doesn’t exactly fit into any of Our Predetermined Categories We simply couldn’t pass it by. Apparently American Dolls aren’t the Only Dolls that Also have Doctors (or more like Surgeon in this case. We watch as Teddy is Anesthetized with “Bear Gas” and Undergo’s a Rigorous Surgery where the Doctor checks Teddy’s Bon Bon Laye, Play Pouch, Crotch Unicorn, Kidney Crayons, Courage Sack, and Heart. Enjoy.

Thanks For Watching,

  Presented By Les Sober

Animation Abominations: I AM THE EGG MAN

For this Installment of Animation Abominations FYB is Happy to Present The Surreal Stop motion Horror by Sam Barnett who also served as Director.

The Plot is rather simple as it centers around Nondescript Man who is Isolated in a White Room with some Odd Black Lines that make a vague symbol of some kind. The Man Tears Himself apart Piece by Piece as each Piece rolls itself into an “Egg” that rolls into an Adjacent Room. In the Alternate Room there is a Mutant Creature who Devours the Eggs Enthusiastically, and then produces Blood that is collected in a small Pool that has a couple of Tubes extending out from the Wall above it.

           

As the Isolated Man sacrifices His Feet, Shins, and Thighs He opens a Cupboard where a Fetal Being is Lying Motionless. The Man Connects a Tube via a Huge Needle to the Fetal Being where the Tube pumps Blood into the Fetal Being. In an Unforeseen Twist the Man Rips off His Head Off (having already having used BOTH his legs) and pinches His Neck assumably to keep from Bleeding Out. The Man’s severed head rolls into the Adjacent room, BUT instead of being Eaten by the Mysterious Egg Eating Mutant Creature it ends up Impaled on a Microphone Stand which is sitting in the Middle of a Stage. A single Spot light shines down to illuminate the Head and Mic Stand as the Sound of Static (or Dead Air as its called sometimes) before an Unknot Person removes the Head and exits the Stage. The Camera lingers for a few additional seconds before adding too Black.

          

So what the fuck is going on Here, What’s the Point Really? Our Best Guess is it’s an Artistic Representation of Life and Death. The Old Sacrifice Their Actual Lives Physically/Emotionally/Mentally to Help Raise, Educate, and Bolster the Next Generation coming after it. Think of how much Parents personally Sacrifice for the Betterment of Their Offspring. In the End the Parent(s) have dedicated (or given) Their entire existence to the Child from its Birth until The Parent’s inevitable Death. Enjoy.

Thanks for Watching,

  Presented By Les Sober

Pressure Sales Are For Idiots, Imbeciles, and Assholes

I don’t know about You up I for One absolutely fucking Hate Pressure Sales made most Popular by Car Salesmen. I swear to God I have no fucking Idea WHY any Salesperson would think that a Good Sales Strategy to get in a Customer’s Face and Badger Them, Bullshit Them, Hassle Them, and Ignore what the Customer is Saying (Especially when the Customer pushes back or resisted the Salesperson’s Pitch). If I walk into any Place of Business and a Salesman runs up on Me with that fucking Smarmy Fake “I’m Your Friend, I’m here For You” Routine I immediately Walk Out. And to be utterly Honest Not only would I leave instantly at this point in My Life, but I’d Curse them out for being an Asshole just for being an Asshole at that Point.

Now recently though I honestly have No fucking Why because I have Great fucking Health Insurance and Thank fucking God for That. That Aside I have been getting way too Many Sales Calls from a Variety of  Assholes trying to Sell Me fucking Health Insurance. I finally had enough and Cursed the Last Health Insurance Salesman to Hell and Back I assure You.

           

I then Started getting fucking Robo Calls Asking if I was interested in a Health Insurance Quote. I quite obviously selected Choice #2 The Opt Out Option, but I still received several additional Robo calls before They finally fucking Stopped. Needless to Say I was far from fucking Thrilled about the First Robo Calls continuing the Attempt for Some Shady Insurance Salesman Scumbag to Sell Me Health Insurance.

Then just a Couple of Days ago the Insurance Shits decided to Text Me Now which again is fucking Ridiculous as far as I’m concerned. I mean I didn’t want to Talk to Them, I Didn’t Opt to Talk to Them, so Why the fuck did They think Texting ME would Work?! Now obviously NOT an Actual Person I was exchanging the Following Texts with thats a Given. With that Said the Fact of the Matter is Someone (A Person) had to Program the Tech to Respond in the manner in which it did. That in My mind is Equally as Insane as a Real Person Texting Me this Happy Horseshit.

          

Anyways Heres the Text Exchange Verbatim:

Sales Bot: Hey Les! Hey this is the insurance enrollment center. Want to see if we can save you money on your current health insurance plan? Reply Stop if you do not need a Quote.

Les: STOP!

*3 Minutes Later and Guess Who Texting Me Yep You Got it, and while I’m at it I’d like to Point Out that the Alleged Company Name is/was The Insurance Enrollment Center at First may sound find First, BUT when You think about it for a minute it’s a Totally Bullshit Name. It’s the kind of Generically Vague yet somewhat smiler sounding names Indian Phone Scammers come up with to Use. Any which way I digress for Now.*

        

Sales Bot: Hey Les! Hey this is the insurance enrollment center. want to see if we can save you money on your current health insurance plan? Reply Stop if you do not need a quote.

Les: STOP! STOP! STOP! This is the fucking second fucking time I have replied fucking STOP so STOP ASSHOLES.

Sales Bot: I understand, but a few minutes of your time could save you over $100 per month in healthcare costs. Is now a good time to call?

Les: FUCK OFF CUNTS!

Sales Bot: Thank you for your time. If you would like a healthcare quote, give us a call at this number and we go over your options. You will receive no further communication from us.

Les: Fuck You.

        

Again I have No fucking Clue Why someone would Program a Bot or Algorithm bullshit to ignore the Potential Customer even when Verbally Assaulted with virtually anything more than The Foulest of Words. Also if You noticed They kept trying to Sell Me on Their So Called Services all the way to the Absolute End. They leave off reminding Me first and Foremost that if I need Health Insurance to Give Them a Call. What the Fuck.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober