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Cartoons That Aren’t For Kids: Bingo The Clown-O and Rabbit

Welcome to Today’s Installment of Cartoons That Aren’t For Kids Featuring the Cartoons RABBIT by Run Wrake followed by BINGO THE CLOWN-O Presented by Alias/Wavefront.

RABBIT is a Cartoon that Mimics a Children’s Learning to Read Story Book Circa the 1950’s which focuses on the Day to Day Life of Little Boy and a Little Girl (assumably Siblings). The Children capture a Rabbit and promptly Cut it in Half length wise where upon doing so They discover a Tiny Being referred to as Idol. Idol was living inside of the Rabbit and upon being Discovered Runs Amok around the Kid’s Home until He stops to Eat some Plum Jam. While Eating the Jam Idol kills a Pesky Wasp that Dies turning into a Large Diamond. From there the Children give into Greed Until They Die due to Their own Selfish Desires. This is a Classic Tale of Be careful What You Wish For Because You Might Just GET IT. Enjoy.

BINGO THE CLOWN-O is Presented by Alias/WaveFront and is Based on a Play titled “Disregard This Play”as Preformed by The Neo-Futurists. The Story centers on a Nameless Man who it turns out is Sitting in the Middle of a Large Circus Ring. Throughout the Story the Man is Confronted by a Adult Clown, a Little Girl Clown, and a Mutant simply known as The Money Man (Who asks the Man Mockingly “You’re a Good little Bingo Aren’t You?!”). The Other Characters all Insist the Man is in Fact Bingo the Clown-O. At first the Man denies being Bingo which only serves to Enrage whoever He is currently Confronted by. The Denial inevitably leads whichever Character He’s talk with to Scream in His Face that HE IS BINGO and thats that. Towards the End of the Cartoon the Man starts to second guess Himself as Doubt sets in, and He begins to wonder if He really is Bingo. Right before the Story Ends The Man accepts it as Fact that He IS indeed Bingo the Clown-O.

This Tale seems to be a Cautionary one about Staying true to Yourself, To Hell with Self Doubt, and You aren’t what Others Say or Think You are. The Bottomline is Be Yourself and Remain Free from Outside Influences. Enjoy.

Thanks for Watching,

Brought To you By Les Sober

Theres’s a Reason Monday’s have a Shitty Rep.

They say “Mondays are Mondays for a Reason”, and I’m pretty sure the Reason is that the People who Say that are Assholes. That aside what a hell of a Monday this one was and I’m not Joking. It all started When Our Cat ate Our Dog and I had to rush it to the Vet post haste. I hoped the Vet could give the Cat an injection of some Super Laxative allowing the Cat to shit out the Dog thus saving Both Their Lives. As I’m wheeling the Cat to the Car My since the Cat is Your average 8 pound House Cat, and the Dog was a Full Blooded Rottweiler thus creating a serious Spacial Issue for said Cat. The next thing I know My Sister blindsides Me out No Where with My Nephew in tow who looks like He’s had too much Sugar and not enough Sleep.

I agreed to what My Nephew but since My car was in the Shop I had to Borrow My Wife’s Miata which only seats 2. I tossed the Cat into the Passengers seat, grabbed My Nephew and Some Old School Bungie Cords (the kind they made so you could strap Excess Luggage to the Roof of Your Vehicle) without breaking stride. I then proceeded to Tie My Nephew to the Hood of the Car like Hunters do with Deer they’ve Killed with a quickness. My Nephew began to pitch a fucking fit so I simply told Him “You always wanted to go to Disney World so THUNDER MOUNTAIN UP BITCH!”, and with that We were off and running.

I called the Vet from the Car and asked if a Vet Tech could meet Me outside to assist Me and the Vet Office assured Me it be No Problem. So once I got to the Vet Clinic I slowed Down, leaned over and opened the Passenger Side Door, Yelled “TUCK AND ROLL MR. FRITZ!”, and shoved the Cat out of the Car. Luckily cats always land on their Feet so Mr. Fritz was fine. The next stop was My mechanic’s Shop to check on the Progress of My Car Repair. My Mechanic said He was waiting on a part so it might be another day or two, and so I asked Him if in the meantime if he could do Me a favor and Rotate My Back Molars for Me. He promptly declined right there on the spot claiming He couldn’t because He wasn’t a Dentist to which I said I didn’t care as I’m not a Dentist Either so?! Before My Mechanic could counter My Point He spontaneously Combusted which I am convinced was not Spontaneous in the Least. I believe He “Spontaneously” Combusted because He damn well knew He was going to loose the Argument.

As I was leaving My Mechanic My Nephew still mad about being strapped to the Hood like a Dead Deer had Himself a good Old Tantrum, and turned Himself inside out. Obviously I can’t take Him anywhere in that condition, but the little Brat that He is down right Refused to turn Himself Outside In. I don’t negotiate with Terrorists or Children so I put Him in a Duffle Bag because lets face it if your inside out there is a High Risk of Potential Staining, and Blood/Bodily Fluids are a real motherfucker to get out.

While on My way to My car I ended up walking behind to very Stern Looking Men in Expensive Three Piece Suits, and I happened to overhear some of Their Conversation. The Two Men were lamenting How Louie’s Mother made the Best Sauce (Marinara) either of the had ever Tasted, but since Louie fucked up They had to kill Him and His Mother. The fact that They were sent to Kill Louie didn’t seem to bother them in the Least. It was the Inevitable Murder of the Mother who made such a Legendary Sauce that was what They felt was the True Tragedy at Hand.

Along the Way I also saw a Drunk Homeless Man Cannibalizing Himself like a Deranged Snake. Thats to say He was attempting to swallow Himself Whole and had managed to ingest Both Legs up to the Knee. I was absolutely fascinated by the Homeless Man bizarrely abnormal Behavior so I stopped to watch for a while. Half an Hour later He had swallowed Himself Half way and was struggling to get past His Waist, BUT if there is a will there is a way as they say. Eventually the Homeless Man made it all the way up to His Neck and then He asked Me to Pull his Lower lip over His head. Seeing no reason not to I assisted the Man with His Request. Once His lower Lip was fully engulfing His head the Homeless Man took a deep breath and swallowed Himself out of Existence. It was was like watching a Manual Implosion it was fucking Crazy.

My Phone rang and it was the Vet’s Office informing Me they had Successfully induced Vomiting, and Mr Fritz had puked the Dog up and Out Safely. Both the Mr. Fritz and the Dog were exhausted by the whole ordeal and were currently asleep. I said that’s great to hear and that when They’re all good to go to call them a Uber for Me because I was too busy to double back to that side of town Now. Especially when My Nephew was still inside out and all. I pulled up to a light and while waiting for it to change I little Old lady who looked to be in her 90’s started to cross the street.

The Person in front of Me at the light accidentally elbowed Their Horn while reaching around behind them in the backseat. The Little Old Lady who thought the Driver was being Rude or an Asshole stopped Dead in Her tracks and stared motionless at the Driver for a few Uneasy Moments. She then Loudly announced to the World “I don’t have to take THAT shit, when I can Take THIS shit!” and then jumped up on to the Hood of the Offending Driver’s Car. Once She was perched on the Hood She took a Clydesdale Sized Rage Shit. The Driver started to angrily get out of their Car when the Little Old Lady when the Little Old Lady blurted out “Your an Asshole and I’m the Shit!” It looked liken actual Shit Guesser erupted from Her withered Old Ass as She shit Herself into Space.

After seeing something as Appallingly both Revolting and Awe Inspiring event as a Little Old Lady Shitting Herself (well Sharting would be more like it) into the Deepest and Darkest Depths of Space I went directly Home. Once I arrived Home I slapped a shipping Label on the Duffle Bag containing My Inside Out Nephew that said “Please Return to Owner.” See the thing is I had taken the Duffle Bag out of the Lost and Found at the Airport when I was in a pinch. I figured since there was a Tag on it I would just return it directly to the Owner once I need for it was done. I then called an Uber to take the Duffle Bag to the Airport on My Behalf, and spent the remainder of the Day wondering where the Little Pain in My Ass would End Up.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

If You Fuck Up AT Least Be A Man About It.

I mentioned in a Recent Post that We had a New Septic Tank Installed, and Why the Installation went just Fine Everything Else wasn’t. I’m going to be a bit unorthodox here and Tell You the Moral to the Story Up Front. The Moral of this Story is: NEVER SECOND GUESS YOURSELF.

You see I have a Contractor Who is Absolutely fucking Awesome and I Trust (which for Me is Saying a Shit Load) so I asked Him for a Referral. He gladly gave Me the Contact Info for the “Only I Guy I Trust for these Things…” as He put it and All was Well. Now right Before I called My contractor’s Guy a Family Friends it turned out had just had a New Septic Tank Installed too. This Family Friend went on and on and fucking on about how goddamn great the Experience was like it was the Second coming of Christ Himself. So after consulting some key Family Members Opted to Use Her Guy since He was apparently fucking Fantastic.

I got in Touch with the Family Friend’s Guy and everything at that point was in fact fine. The Guy Who’s name is, and I swear I’m not bullshitting is Tripp (Yes with to P’s because that makes it Classier or whatever). He showed up on Time and Left before the Job was Done saying Everything was alright and He was off to another fucking Service Call. Again He reassured Me the 2 man work crew He left Behind had everything on lock, BUT it was in the Last 30 Minutes of the Job that shit went South.

I was on the Internet No surprise there when all of a sudden in the preverbal Blink of an Eye My Service Went completely Dead nothing Internet related wasn’t working.I immediately knew what the fuck happened the Work Men had Hit Our Internet Hook up, and I ran the fuck outside to inquire. The first Work Idiot ignored Me when I tried to get His Attention until I got Loud and He couldn’t pretend not to hear me. I demanded to know if one of them had accidentally banged into My Shit because all of a sudden coincidentally Dead in the fucking Water as it were.

The Work Idiot I addressed Never actually said a single fucking word obviously not wanting to answer the Question like a guilty fucking child. What I mean by that is He acted like a Child who damaged something, put it back, and hoped no one would notice only to inevitably end up being Caught. So while Work Nitwit number one was Playing Dumb for all it was fucking worth they other Work Stooge asked Me if I had tried resetting the Wifi. I suppose the Question was meant to distract Me but what the fuckwit hadn’t considered was I anticipated such stupidity and already had preformed all the Standard Tricks and Trouble Shooting to No Avail.

I informed the Backhoe Driving Fuck Stick I had and it Obviously was due to the Fact that they accidentally damaged My outside Internet hook up and Shit. I then proceeded to jump onto My phone to keep from going Completely Insane on the Two dumbfucks milling around in My front Yard. I am well aware I have fucking anger management issue and I try not to be a utter fucking Asshole,, BUT I have no fucking problem being a Really Nasty Fuck if need Be. As I do my damndest to not go Batshit Crazy on these Two fucking Fools They shuffle around for a few Minutes, and then up and Left without saying jack diddly shit. Of course that Pissed Me off more, BUT I figured why pick a fight with 2 piece of shit Pions its the Boss I wanted to talk to.

I then spent 2 fucking Hours on the goddamn phone with My Internet Provider check EVERY FUCKING SINGLE THING until the First Customer Service Tech had to transfer Me to an Advanced Technician. I did another round of Diagnostic tests and Shit, but the Advanced Guy couldn’t fix anything though He really was trying like a motherfucker to Help God Bless Him. I told Him a Work Crew fucked up the Exterior Transmitter, and I wanted to do all this torturously mind bending bullshit to Prove it in case it was disputed by Tripp. The Next Day a Technician came out and INSTANTLY verified I was Correct that the Transmitter Deal had been smacked way out of whack. The Tech did what He had to and fixed the Problem in timely and Professional Manner. Luckily We have a Maintenance Plan so We avoided the $125 Service Call Charge so at least that was fucking cool.

By the time I calmed down it was the Next Day and first thing I did that Morning was call Tripp who Didn’t pick Up. I waited several hors and tried calling again and again Tripp didn’t answer. Finally I gave up trying to get Tripp’s useless ass on the fucking phone, and left a voicemail. The voicemail was civil as Hell I didn’t yell, Scream, curse, Insult or Threaten Tripp in anyway which is My Modus Operandi. I was told to give Tripp the benefit of the doubt because He could very well just be Busy and that I should give it one more Day. Against My best Judgment I agreed to Hang Back for a little while Longer.

Needless to say come the following Day the same shit happens I call and Tripp (who I now assume is ducking My phone calls) doesn’t answer His fucking Phone like a Real fucking Unprofessional and Immature fucking Asshole. By 4:30 as Popeye would Say “I’ve had all I can Stands and I can Stands NO MORE!” and this Time around I left a Second Message. This time I let Tripp know exactly how the fuck I felt. I first informed Tripp that through all of His Childish, Immature, and Unprofessional handling of the Entire fucking Situation that I wasn’t even making it about Money. I never once mentioned the fact that it would Cost Me fucking Money to fix His work Clowns fuck up. It had always been about how the Situation was handled that chapped my ass like nothing else. Thats not to fucking much to fucking ask is it?! I Hire and pay some Asshole to do a fucking Job They should be Professional since it’s Their fucking Job.

I went on to say I didn’t see how it was fucking possible to Own your own fucking Company and act like such an Immature Asshole when accidents Happen. I said I’m well fucking aware that Shit Happens as do Accidents and if He had just admitted to the mistake, Owned up to It, and Apologized that would have been the fucking end of it. I summed up with reminding Him what a fucking Spineless Coward He had acted like, and that I obviously won’t be recommending Him to fucking anyone Myself. On top of that I also informed Tripp that I would be writing a Negative Review Anywhere and Everywhere I could on Line and on Social Media.

And with That that was That.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

FYB Saturday Night’s Gory Splatter Movie: SAMURAI PRINCESS!!!

Welcome to The FYB Saturday Night Gory Splatter Movie Featuring: “THE SAMURAI PRINCESS” directed by Kengo Kaji and special effects by Yoshihiro Nishimura (who directed and created the Effects for The another Popular Japanese Gory Splatter Movie Tokyo Gore Police).

Samurai Princess has been described as ERO GURO Action Film, and what is Ero Guro You ask? Euro Guro is an Artistic Genre that putts Focus on Eroticism, Sexual Corruption, and Decadence. As a Term, it is used to Denote something that is BOTH EROTIC AND GROTESQUE. The Grotesqueness Implied in the Term refers to things that are MALFORMED, UNNATURAL, or HORRIFIC! Items that are Pornographic and Bloody are Not necessarily Ero Guro, and Visa Versa. The Term is often Used Incorrectly by Audiences to mean “Gore” which is the DEPICTIONS OF HORROR, BLOOD, and GUTS.

Brief Plot Summery: Samurai Princess takes Place sometime, somewhere in an Alternative Universe of Feudal Japan, where People live Together with Highly Developed Mechanical Dolls called “Mechas”. However, Excessively Developed Mechanical Dolls start Causing HARM to Human Society, leading to GHASTLY BLOODSHED ALL OVER THE PLACE! Under the Circumstances, Mad Scientist Kyroaku invents a Virtually Invincible Mechanized Female Ninja equipped with 11 Types of Built in Weapons. Thats Not all because The Ninja is also INFUSED WITH 11 SOULS of Her Fallen Sisters. She uses Their combined Power to take Down Anyone who Dares to Stand in Her Way in Her Quest to Save Humanity Pinning MACHINE AGAINST MUTANTS! Enjoy.

Hope You Enjoyed this Mechanical Murderama as Much as We Did.

Thanks for Watching,

Presented by Les Sober

FYB’s Shitty Celebration

What happens when You get a New Septic Tank and while it’s being Installed You Fall Down a Serious Reddit Rabbit Hole?! You find a Reddit Room called “Any Reason To Party” where You start reading about something called a “Septic Tank Celebration of Shit Party”. You throw this type of Party in the Event You have just had a New Septic Tank, OR if Your about to get a New one since the Old one is Literally Crapping Out.

Ironically having a New Septic Tank Installed is a Real Pain in the Ass, but it is also an Unfortunate Evil of Life. So as Odd as it Sounded We decided after a Short Period of Discussion/Debate to throw the Shit to the Wind and Go For it. Now You may be wondering as We were at First what Exactly the hell a STCS Party Consists of. Well Good News We are here to Personally Let You Know First Hand What Its all About.

Septic Tank Celebration of Shit Parties are pretty fucking Straight Forward. First and Foremost there is No Decorations Required although People love to Toilet Paper Shit, and the Famous Smiling Feces Emoji (which has led to a Bizarre Branding Overkill, They have a Shit Emoji for Everything from Stickers to Halloween fucking Costumes for Fuck’s Sake. Also People are found of Attending these Type of Parties sporting a Variety of Shit themed T-Shirt like Shit Happens, Who Gives a Shit, No Bullshit etc. (Some more unoriginal People stick to the Traditional Theme of Wearing Brown T-Shirts).

The Focus actually being Feces the Party is a Literally a Homemade Make Shit Crap Inducing Cuisine. The point is to Serve Food that will intentionally induce Your Guests to Shit Their Brains Out thus Helping to Break in the New Septic System or Assisting in Bidding Farewell to an Old Outdated System thats about to take a Shit of its Own so to speak. We Opted for a fucking Buffet since We believe in the Go Big or Go Home Motto, and We set out a Shit Inducing Spread that could have Led to a Guest Shitting Themselves Unconscious.

Luckily We have 3 Bathrooms so even if a Guest Craps so Hard they Pass the fuck Out We still have the other Two Bathrooms accessible. This way We could keep the Party Pooping going due to the Constant Non Stop Shitting of Our Guests as They run the Risk of Prolapsing Their Rectum. We DO NOT SUGGEST throwing on of these Parties if You have Only One singular Toilet as this will lead to Fecal Overflow and Your Guests end up Shitting in Your Bushes, Flowerbeds, Garbage Cans, Pool Filters, and Other disgustingly Inappropriate Crapping (No One likes it when the Shit actually Hits the Fan).

We researched so Many Health Sites, Medical Sites, and Diet Sites We lost count, but We wanted to insure We had concocted the Most Effective Menu of Shit Inducing Foods ever Assembled by Man (We are currently waiting to hear back from The Guinness Book of World Records) to get the Shitty Job Done. We are confident this should Never Be Attempted Again by Anyone Anywhere at Anytime, and with that said this is what We came up With.

We thought that Finding a Variety of Effective Drinks would be the Most Difficult part of the Task. The Last fucking thing We wanted was to be Stuck serving Only Coffee as Our Only Beverage. Luckily We found out rather quickly that We were in Fact Wrong. Our Drink Options were:

Coffee
Coconut Water
Kale Smoothies
Peppermint Tea, Orange Juice
Full Fat Milk
Aloe Vera Juice
Kefir (a Fermented Milk Drink)
Chamomile Tea
64 ounce Bottles of Water (More Water More Crapping)
Metamucil mixed with Your Choice of Liquor

Then We Provided Some Casual Appetizers:

Veggie Plate (Raw Green Beans, Broccoli, and Tomatoes)
Plain Popcorn (No Seasoning or Butter)
Pistachios
Almonds
Whole Grain and Oat Bran Breads (Example: Rye)
Special Farro Bread (made w/ Ancient Strain of Wheat Popular in Italy)
Olive Oil to Dip The Different Breads into
Almond, Cashew, and Peanut Butter (for spreading on the Breads)
a Fruit Salad (Rasberries, Grapes, Papaya, Blackberries, Pears, Kiwi, Guava Fruit, Banana, Apples Slices, and Mandarin Fruit)

Then for the Main Course We had a Buffet that Featured:

Traditional Salad (Turnip Greens, Spinach, Swiss Chard, Kale, and Arugula)
Curry (Types Available: Dhansak, Tikka Masala, Saag, Korma, Jalfrezi, Vindaloo
Hot Sauce Soup (Pinto Bean or Clear Soup with Hot Sauce Added)
Lentils
Baked Beans
Potato Salad
Sweet Potato Fries
Clear Soup (Chicken and Dill or Plain Chicken Broth)
Brown Rice and Black Beans
Brussel Sprouts
Green Peas
Artichokes
Chick Pea Salad
Sauerkraut
Pinto Bean Soup
Refried Bean Burritos/Fajitas

Then for Dessert We Served:

Watermelon (Slices or Chunks)
Berry Chia Pudding
Pumpkin Pie,
Rice Pudding
Chocolate Laxative Full Fat Milkshakes
Plum Pudding
Activia Yogurt with Your Choice of Peaches, Strawberries, Raisins, Dates, or Prunes
Figgy Pudding

The Party was an Unmitigated Success and by the End of the Night Everyone had a Very, Very Shitty Time.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

The Mystery of Meatsleep’s Deleted Content (Videos 15-19)

Welcome to the Latest Installment of The Mystery of Meatsleep’s Deleted Content Videos 15-19. If You haven’t Read/Watch the Previous 3 Installments We Highly suggest You Go Back and Watch since the Video’s are in Chronological Order. In Addition to the Video’s each Post contains Any/All New Information, Clues, or Details that We come across or Uncover at the Beginning of the Post. The Bottomline in the Meatsleep Mystery is simply are the Videos Fake or Are They Real, and if They are Real then They are the Work of an Actual Real Life Serial Killer Stalking and Kidnapping His/Her Victims and then Holding them Hostage until Meatsleep Kills Them/

In this Installment We have Learned Two New Key Pieces of Information pertaining to the Ongoing Meatsleep Mystery.

The First thing We have become Aware of Pertaining to the Meatsleep Mystery is a Two Parter. The First Part is that She had a Facebook Account. The Second Part Answers the Question why I referred to Meatsleep as a She. As We mentioned in the Privous Installment that Meatsleep has a Defunct Twitter Account (@Sewnskin Meatsleeps) , and She had a Facebook Page under the Same Name Sewnskin Meatsleeps. On Sewnskin Meatsleeps Facebook Page The Gender that had been Selected was Female, and other than that there wasn’t Anything else Worth Mentioning .This of course is quite Interesting unto itself, but in Reality it Doesn’t amount to much. Obviously Meatsleep could Select any Gender We do live in the Age of Cat Fishing.

The Second is as We mentioned in a Pervious Post Some of Meatsleep’s Video Titles look like Random Symbol Gibberish.The Strange Video Titles are in Fact in Inuit the Language of the Native People of Canada. Now this combined with the Fact that Viewers have Noted theres a Handful of Signs (You can See or Locate) sprinkled throughout the Series that are all in French. So Most People Believe this Equates to Meatsleep being French Canadian and Thus Meatsleep must Live/Reside somewhere in an Unknown Location in Canada.

So without Further Ado Here is Meatsleep’s Videos 15-19. Enjoy.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

We Hope You’re Enjoying the Ongoing Meatsleep Mystery as Much as We are.

Thanks for Watching,

Brought to You By Les Sober

The Mysterious Phenomenon of Station UVB-76

What the Hell is the Shortwave Radio Station UVB-76 is the Question thats spanned Decades and Still the Answer Alludes Everyone. Over the Years Plenty of People have Investigated the Mysterious UVB-76 Phenomenon, and Here is the Information that has been Collected Pertaining to UVB-76.

UVB-76 was Detected in the 1970’s/ Early 1980’s during America’s Cold War with Soviet Union (Now Russia), and was Originally located in Povarovo near Moscow. It’s current Location is Unverified, but it’s Known Through Radio Observation that at Least Two Transmitter Sites Exist. The First Site sends Radio Relay and Phone Lines Directly from Moscow via St. Petersburg’ Command Center Located on Palace Square. The Other Site’s Location is Allegedly (But Unconfirmed) to be at Naro-Fominsk in the Moscow District. The Moscow District is where the 69th Communication Center is Located, and Serves as the Main Staff Headquarters of the Western Military District in Moscow.

UVB-76 is also Know by its Nickname “The Buzzer”which is used by Radio Stations that Broadcasts in the Frequency 4625 kHZ . UVB-76 has been Broadcasting since at Least 1982 Broadcasting Tones Only Reminiscent of Morse Code. The Tones were Changed in 1992 to One Constant Buzz with Additional Beeps and a Variety of Unidentified Noises that Occurs 20-30 times Per Minute, and Audio Clips of Swan Lake. On January 16, 2003 the Station briefly changed to a Higher Tone for a Longer Duration (approximately 20 Tones Per Minute) and then Reverted back to its Previous Tone Pattern. UVB-76 Broadcasts Non Stop 24 Hours a Day 365 Days a Year with a rough approximation of 25 Tones a Minute

The Truly Strange Part is Sporadically on Rare Occasions the Buzzer Signal is Interrupted by a Voice Transmutation in Russian. The Messages are Predominately Random Names (Representing Characters/Letters of the Alphabet along with Seemingly Random Numbers.

Example: UVB-76 UVB-76 882 NAIMINA 74 14 35 74 93 7 8 8 2 NIKOLAI ANNA IVAN MICHAIL IVAN NIKOLAI 12 49 57…..

What does UVB-76 actually mean, well for Starters UVB-76 is an Incorrect Station Identification (Though the Station was Finally signed the Signifier S28, S28 is Not a Standard Number Station). The name UVB-76 cones from Early Unverified Reports pertaining to the First Voice Message that was Broadcast. A Unknown Male with a Russian Accent came on the Air and Said “Ulyana Vasilij Boris 76” the phrase then Repeated several times, and was initially thought to be the Station’s Call Sign. It was Later Verified using Recordings of the Message that the Unknown Russian Man Actually said UZB-76, and Zinanidia Not Vasilij. The Station which is Still Active in spite of Rumors that it had Shut Down uses Numerous Coded Phrases like the WellKnown NAIMINA, but the then the Station started to Use Other Code Words/Phrases such as Mihail, Dimitrj, Zheng, and Boris for Example.

The Purpose of UVB-76 and the Cryptically Coded Messages is still Unclear, and of Course there are Plenty of Theories floating around the Internet. There is a Theory The Dead Hand Nuclear Umbrella which states when the Buzzer goes Completely Silent once and for all it will trigger the Launching of Nuclear Missiles. Unfortunately the Dead Hand Nukes Theory is been Proven to be Incorrect as the Buzzer goes Off Many times a Month due to apparent Technical Difficulties. A much more Viable Theory is that the Buzzer Broadcast by UBV-76 is used for Propagation Measurements and Weather Research, and this Theory had been collaborated by Several Sources from Russian Research Magazines. Unfortunately for those who believe in this Theory No Further Confirmation has Been Found. The More than Likely Theories involve a Top Secret Government Conspiracy or For some Nefarious Military Plot.

HERE IS THE STRANGEST DETAIL OF THEM ALL: From It’s Discovery in the 70’s/Early 80’s the Official Statement from the Russian Government was and still is that Station UBV-76 Simply DOES NOT EXIST.

I included a Small Sampling of REAL UBV-76 Recordings Below. Enjoy.

Thanks for Reading/Listening,

Presented By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watch Watcher (56/365)

Lee watched the Businessman trapped somewhere between being Entranced and Horrified. The Businessman’s Eyes started to Bulge out of His Head as His face became Flushed, and He began to sweat Profusely frantically wiping His Forehead every 3 seconds. Lee couldn’t help but to compare what He was seeing to Witnessing a 12 Foot Giant Choking the shit out of Someone with all its Might. Lee was rendered useless by Indecision almost instinctively nudged Dizzy’s Knee with His 40 oz to get His Attention.

Dizzy lazily turned to look at Lee to find Lee staring at Him Wide Eyed like had just seen Hitler fucking an Electric Eel or some Crazy Shit like that. Lee motioned with His eyes in the Direction of the Businessman, and Dizzy having a Phd in Street Smarts from The FUCK YOU University of Life picked up on the question instantly. He took a second before casting a sly glance in the Direction of where the Businessman before quickly turning back to face Lee.

“What? What the fuck has You so Shook for fucks sake I know the Bus is a Bitch, but You’re being a fucking Drama Queen about it aren’t You,” said Dizzy with thorough Lack of Interest or Enthusiasm., “Just spit it Out what is Going On with You already.”

“I just saw the craziest most fucked up thing I think I have ever seen.” replied Lee still in a minor state of Shock and Awe.

“So what was it I’m not fucking Sherlock Holmes here so You’re going to have to Spell it Out for Me.” said Dizzy in the Tone of a Parent who is growing frustrated with a Child who can’t seem to Communicate properly what was going on.

“The fucking Businessman over there that motherfucker just Shot Up something in a Syringe directly into His fucking Neck, and Now He looks like His Head is Literally going to fucking Explode like the Guy in the Movie Scanners,”Lee explained while getting Himself even more worked up, “Seriously who does shit like That and in Public none the less?!”

“He’s Tweeting Hard as Fuck,” Dizzy Answered, “He’s a fucking whacked Out on Crystal Meth. My Guess is since He was Cooking up the Shot secretly without looking He probably just put to Much in by Accident, and Now He’s becoming well aware of His Mistake.”

“So what the fuck do You do in this situation I mean do We Alert the Bus Driver or Call the Cops?” Lee asked as His Mind Became to Race a Mile a Minute.

“NEVER CALL THE COPS EVER,” Dizzy Yelled Loud enough for the Entire Bus to Hear, “And what the fuck do You think the Bus Driver is going to do with this Information? I’ll tell You She will pull the fucking Bus over, call 911, and The Police with Show up with the fucking Medics. The Best thing to do is fucking Ignore it because it’s simply NOT YOUR PROBLEM!”

“Jesus thats fucking Brutal,” Lee said in utter disbelief, “The fucking Guy very well may Die right where He’s sitting on this crappy Bus. What a shitty way to go I mean imagine the obituary So and So Overdosed and Died on the Number something Bus today.”

“Fuck that Guy We don’t know Him, and We sure as Hell had Nothing to do with Him injecting Drugs into His Neck,” replied Dizzy Dryly, “If He dies He Dies.”

It was then that Lee noticed a Trashily Dress Woman with far too much make up on who had been sitting in the front of the Bus get up out of Her seat, walk over to the Businessman and handed Him a Bottle of Water. The Businessman snatched the Bottle of Water from The Trashy Woman’s Hands and downed it in One massive prolonged Sip. The Bottle drained and Empty He promptly handed it back to the Trashy Woman who then tossed it nonchalantly on the Floor without a care in the World.

“Look, Look right fucking there,” Lee blurted Out emphatically, “That Woman a fucking Stranger just helped out the Tweeked Out Businessman. See at least someone fucking Cares about Their fellow Man.”

“Don’t be Fooled that had nothing to do with a Helping Hand I assure you of That,” responded Dizzy condescendingly, “It wasn’t personal it was all business Brother All fucking Business.”

“What fucking Business the Free Bottled Water Business seriously what the fuck,” said Lee growing rather exasperated with Dizzy’s carefree attitude, “I think You’re the fucking One being Dramatic.”

“Bullshit It was Business and You want to Know How I know this its because SHE isn’t a good samaritan She’s a Bus Bunny.” responded Dizzy with an Air of Arrogance.

“Bus Bunny what the fuck is that exactly because it sounds like You mad it Up to be Honest,” said Lee confusedly, “Now its Your fucking turn to tell Me what the fuck is going on Exactly.”

“She’s a Bus Bunny. You know How there Hookers that tool the Truck Stops called Lot Lizards Right,” explained Dizzy confidently, “Well this is the equivalent of a Lot Lizard but Bus Bunny’s a Hookers who ride the Buses all damn Day it’s called Dicks for Dollars.”

“I find that extremely fucking hard to believe, But I have No definitive Proof that You bullshitting Me,” replied Lee sounding Defeated, “Stranger things have happen I suppose.”

“You Don’t need to take My word for it,” snapped Dizzy defensively, “Just keep You eye on Those Two and watch what Happens.”

Stay Tuned for the Next Extroverted Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (57/365) Coming Soon!

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

A Short Sunday Horror Movie: The Facts in the Case of Mister Hollow

THE FACTS IN THE CASE OF MISTER HOLLOW is a Multiple Award Winning Short Horror Film Written by Rodrigo Gudino who also Directed the Film along with Vincent Marcone.

The Movie Focuses on a Single Photograph from the 1930’s that Tells an Entire Tale of KIDNAPPING, MURDER, and SACRIFICE captured in a Single Haunting Moment!! As the Movie starts to Scratch the Surface of the Picture it Reveals a Tapestry of HIDDEN AND SINISTER SECRETS in the Details Proving Nothing is as it Appears.

At the Beginning of the Movie starts the Audience is Shown a News Clipping with the Head Line that a Child has Disappeared, and is Believed to be One of an Estimated 100 Victims. A by-line shown in the same Clipping mentions PAGANISM is Alive and Flourishing in Northern Ontario. Along with the News Clippings is a Note that says Enclosed with the Clippings is a Photograph, and that the Reader should Look More Closely at It.

From there the Movie is Off and Running challenging the View to find the Preverbal Pieces of the Puzzle and Ensemble them to Reveal the Conclusion. Some of the Details are More Obvious such as One of the Men beginning to Light a Fire made upon Several Crucifixes for example. Other Details are Points of Interest that can be Easily Overlooked for example the Markings on the Hands of All Three Adult Males, The Car Mirror Showing BLOOD SPLATTER, The Crosses Nailed to Trees, and The BODY in the Backseat of the Car.

Eventually the Photograph reveals Two Additional People in the Background who are Both PRIESTS, and Apparently Holding a Shotgun Menacingly on the Group in the Forefront. This raises the immediate Question of Why do Priest have a Shot Gun in the first fucking place, and Why do They have it Turned on the Group is such an Aggressively Hostile manner?! In the End the Audience is left with the Biggest Question of them all and that Question is as Follows. WHO is the Cloaked and Menacing FINAL PERSON in the Photograph Reflected in the Sunglasses worn by One of the Men, and How does this Most Mysterious Figure Fit into the Story Trapped within the Photograph? Enjoy.

We Hope You Enjoyed this Dark Tale of Mystery and Murder as Much as We Did.

Thanks for Watching,

Brought To You By Les Sober

FYB’s Fabulously Fucked Up Friday Night Film: TERROR FIRMER!!!

Welcome to FYB’s Fucked Up Friday Film is Proud to Present TROMA ENTERTAINMENT’s 1999 Horror Comedy Cult Classic the One and Only “TERROR FIRMER!!!

Terror Firmer is Directed by Independent Film Icon, and Troma Co-Founder Lloyd Kaufman. The Movie features several Direct References to Previous Troma Movies such as THE TOXIC AVEGER, and Includes Infamously Famous Troma Props like the “Penis Monster” from Troma’s Movie “TROMEO AND JULIET”. Terror Firmer is Loosely Based on James Gunn (who is one of Troma’s few Actual Employees and Writers of Terror Firmer) and Lloyd Kauffman’s Book Titled: All I Need To Know About Filmmaking I Learned from the Toxic Avenger.

Brief Plot Summery: Terror Firmer is the Story of a Low-Budget Film Crew in New York, led by Their Insane and Egotistical BLIND Director Larry Benjamin (Played by Lloyd Kauffman Himself) , who is Trying to Create a Cinematic Masterpiece. In Addition to the Typical Trials, Tribulations, and Travails of working on a Troma Set, the Crew Members are being MURDERED by a SEXUALLY CONFLICTED HOMICIDAL SERIAL KILLER!

Terror Firmer Centers Mainly on Production Assistant Jennifer, who Struggles to do Her Job while trying to Decide between the Two Men in Her Life; the Strait Laced Boom Operator Casey, and the Rebellious Special Effects Operator Jerry. The Love Triangle Intensifies as the DEAD BODIES START TO MOUNT with Increasing BRUTALITY! The Entire Film Crew must Band Together (both Physically and Sexually) Against the Mortal Threat in Their Midst in this Movie within a Movie. Enjoy.

[NOTE To The Viewer: We were Only Able to Locate Two Free Copies of Terror Firmer the First of Which was Completely CENSORED. Cencorship is fucking UnAmerican, and Something Troma has Stood Against for Decades. The Version of Terror Firmer Featured here is the Second Free (and UNCENSORED Version of the Film) which unfortunately comes with Annoyingly Extraneous Sub Titles Which You’ll have to Turn Off Manually.]

We Hope You Enjoyed this Tale of Troma and The Psychotic Transexual as Much as We Did.

Thanks for Watching,

Presented by Les Sober