f-your blog

FYB’s Friday Night Feature Film: Kung Fucking Fury!

Tonight We have Another Short Film from a Master of the Theater of the Absurd! This Mind Twisting Bit of Goodness is KUNG FURY (2015) a Swedish Short Film Written and Directed By David Sandburg. KUNG FURY pays Homage to the Martial Arts Action Films from the 1980’s.

Plot Summery: Detective Kung Fury is Suddenly Struck By LIGHTING and Simultaneously BITTEN BY A COBRA giving Him Superior Kung Fun Skills. Kung Fury’s Partner was Sliced in Half by RED NINJA Years Ago, BUT in 1985 after Beating a Rouge Robot Arcade Machine Kung Fury QUITES the Force. when Assigned a NEW PARTNER TRICERACOP.

In the Mean Time Adolf Hitler also Know as KUNG FUHRER jumps into the Timeline an KILLS The Police Chief!!! Kung Fury Intent on REVENGE has Computer Hacking Wiz HACKERMAN to teleport Him Back in Time TO KILL HITLER!!!

Kung Fury then Teams with NORSE GODS, FEMALE BARBARIAN VALKYRIES, and KATANA to go with Him to GERMANY to FINISH THE JOB OF MURDERING HITLER, and DESTROYING THE NAZI ARMY ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!

Hope You Enjoyed Tonight’s Kung Fu Fight Riddled- Time Line Through History -80’s Laced-Adventure in Absuridty .

Thanks for Viewing,

Presented By Les Sober

My Dad is Dead and My Uncle Donny is a DICK.

It’s No Secret that The 2 Sides of My Family are as Opposite as Night and fucking Day Believe You Me. While My Mother’s Side of the Family is Close, Supportive, and Loving My Father’s Family were/are Cold, Closed Off, and Insanely Self fucking Centered.

I have never Visited My Uncle Donny and His Family (Wife and 2 Kids) at His House not Once Not Ever. To be fair My Uncle and His Family only Visited My Family’s House for a Total of Twice. My Grandmother You see lived in The Big City that just so happened to be right around the Half Way between Our Family and My Uncles. Needless to say We utilized My Grandmother’s location to No End.

Every 5-6 Months We would all load up in the Car and Drive the 90 Minutes to My Grandmothers where We would meet Up with My Uncle and His Family. We’d sit around in Virtual Silence just Staring at the fucking Walls like Our Own Personal Waiting Room in Purgatory. The whole thing was Horribly Mind Numbing to say the Least.

Finally either My Father or My Uncle would decide it had been Long Enough sitting Idly around My Grandmothers Small 1 Bed Room Apartment, and We would head out to a Chinese Restaurant, but usually We just Frequented a Near By Italian Restaurant. The Meal would be almost exactly the same as Sitting Around My Grandmother’s Apartment like a bunch of Irrational Assholes. The only difference was the Setting and The Food other than That the Social Dynamic NEVER CHANGED.

My Uncle Donny spent a Majority of His time during these Estranged Visits catering to His Demanding High Maintenance Wife who I will refer to as Picky which She was in Spades. Picky was a OG Drama Queen who not only was a Legend in Her own fucking feeble Mind She was the most Self Centered Person I have ever Encountered.

My Brother and I hung out with Each other to help Pass the Tension of Time since My Uncles Kids were as Socially Outgoing as Their Shitty Parents. The Daughter who was the Eldest of the Two I believe truly meant well She just didn’t have a fucking Clue how to Navigate through this Certain Shit Show. She ended up getting Married and has a couple Kids I think, but We have NEVER Communicated outside or since the Joint Visits to My Grandmother’s, and that goes for the ENTIRE fucking Family for that Matter.

My Uncle Donny’s Son was a Silent as They come which People wrote off to Him being Seriously Introverted and thus rather Socially Awkward. I’m still waiting to See Him on the News for being Arrested as a Prolific Serial Killer. Socially Awkward My Ass He’s a fucking Sociopath. I heard years ago He was working in the City and Shit got out of Control, and He returned Home all fucked up in the Head. The Last I Heard He works in fucking Thai Land where He has some Day Job and at Night He Kills Prostitutes which would be far easier to do in a SMALL 3rd WORLD COUNTRY (Just Saying).

My Uncle was (He is Retired Now though I don’t know for How Long since I have No Idea when He actually Retired) a Lawyer’s Lawyer. Self Involved, Money Worshipping, Reputation Driven, Success Obsessed Egotistical Son of a Bitch. He lived for His Work and seems to care NOTHING about Anyone Else or Anything that doesn’t directly relate to Him. I’m not kidding.

He NEVER contacted My Father, My Father always had to reach out to Him. Once My Father finally caught Up with His Brother all My Uncle Donny would do is Talk about whatever the fuck was going on Currently in His Life. It was all about Him, His Job, His Friends, His Family, His Wife Etc. HE NEVER ASKED MY FATHER HOW HE OR WE WERE because My asshole Uncle could have Cared Less. My Father over time began to reach out less and less until He came to the Conclusion trying to Maintain a relationship (even if its just VIA the Phone/Email) simply WASN’T WORTH IT. His Brother was a Life Long Douchebag, and Had No Intention of Ever Trying to Change. Once a DICK Always a DICK as Some Say.

Now I know this sounds like just some Run of the Mill fucked Up Family Issues, (Let’s face it where there’s Family there’s going to be Issues), BUT as a Rule of Thumb Family sticks Together. The Point Being You have to Love Your Family, YET You Don’t have to Like Them.

My Father was Diagnosed with Terminal Liver Cancer and Fought it for the Better Part of a Year before Finally Succumbing. When My Father Died it fell on His Second Wife’s Shoulders to be the preverbal Bearer of Bad News. Of course the First People She contacted were Family Members and that included My Asshole Uncle who had Done little to Nothing even after Learning His only Brother was Terminally Ill.

My Father’s Second Wife called My Asshole of an Uncle to inform Him of HIs Brother’s Passing, BUT first and foremost She spent 15 fucking Minutes waiting for mY Uncle to remember Who the Hell She was. Once the My Idiot Uncle remembers Who She is She tells Him My Father Died, and the First fucking thing out of His fucking Mouth is and I fucking Quote “Well We Can’t Make It To The Funeral.”

Now Mind You My FAther’s Second Wife NEVER SAID If there was Going to be a Traditional Funeral (which it wasn’t as mY Father wasn’t Religious, fuck He didn’t want an Obituary either), Where it Would Be, or What the Time and Date would be. He just immediately Stated He (and His fucked up Family) WOULDN’T be There. None of My Family Member nor Myself ever Heard any Condolences of Any Sort from My Uncle, No Letter, No Email, No Phone We received a whole shit ton of Absolutely NOTHING.

Who the fuck Wouldn’t be Upset by Their Only Brother’s Untimely Demise, and more over WHO THE FUCK WOULN’T ATTEND THE FUCKING FUNERAL OR TALK WITH FELLOW GRIEVING FAMILY MEMBERS??!

My Asshole Uncle Donny Thats fuck Who Apparently. I have vowed that if I ever have the Misfortune of Laying Eyes on the Miserable Sack of Shit again in My Life I’m going to Punch the Fucker right in His fucking Face. The ironic thing is the Asshole moved not Only to The Great Southern Swamp when I resided there, BUT He moved to a Town that was 20 minutes from My fucking House.

One part of Me was Thankful I didn’t know when I was Living there because I didn’t get in Trouble because You better believe if I hit the Filthy Fuck He’d call the Piece of Shit Police. The Other Part of Me thought “WHO the fuck Moves 20 minutes away from a Fellow Family Member and DOESN’T Mention it to Them?!”

MY ASSHOLE UNCLE DONNY THAT’S WHO.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

Application, But I Don’t Want to Work Here?!

It’s been a While since I Railed Against The fucked up Healthcare System, and after this Post I will put that Beast Back to Bed. The thing is I have NEVER Encountered this Situation before, and find the Whole thing to be Pretentious Bullshit.

I’m looking for a General Practitioner because I need another fucking Doctor like a need a fucking Hole in My Head, BUT My Cardiologist has opted to be a Whiny Little Bitch about filling One of My Medications After almost 2 fucking Years. The Medication is NOT an OPIOD, NOR IS IT XANAX, VALIUM, OR Any Other of the Over Prescribed Horseshit in Fact it’s SO Benign it could Almost Be an Over The Counter Medication like fucking Tylenol for Crying Out Loud.

Now granted I am frustrated and Angered by this Development, and Rather simply just Not Bother I’m not a fucking Idiot. I know I benefit a Great Deal from the Medications I take. I’m not Debating that in the Least. All I’m saying is the Entire Process is a MASSIVELY HUGE PAIN IN MY ASS, and No One likes Those unless You’re a Masochist.

You know what I mean You have to Find the Doctor, Yet You’re NOT Supposed to just Hop the Hell online and Pick One at Random and I fully Agree that Thats Foolish a Fuck. On the Other Hand what if You recently moved into the Area and the Issue is You don’t Know anyone well Enough to Trust Them for a Recommendation?! Then You need to somehow someway Locate a Doctor who is currently at the Time taking/Seeing New Patients.

If The Doctor is accepting New Patients You schedule an Appointment that’s Typically not Quite awhile Away (Couple Weeks to Several Months). Once the Day of the Appointment comes You go in fucking Early as Shit because You damn well know as a New Patient there will be EXTENSIVE fucking Paperwork (example Medical History) Tied Up in Bureaucratic Red Tape. Then Once the Pile of Paperwork is Complete You get to wait 30-40-60 Minutes bored out of Your fucking Mind in the Bland and Mind Numbing Waiting Room.

Just as Your Sanity is about to Crack You get ushered into an Exam Room where a Nurse takes Your Vitals, and May ask a few Questions before telling You that the Doctor will be in Shortly which is a fucking Joke. After Another 20-30 Minutes the Doctor Comes in and Finally You’ve Surpassed the Shitty System so Congratulations are in Order.

I managed to get a Referral from one of My Wife’s Co-workers who is also a Nurse so I figured I had an Advantage so to Speak. So Today I called Them Up to Try and Schedule an Appointment if at all Possible. A Woman answered and this is where shit started to take a VERY STRANGE TURN.

The First really Odd thing was She never bothered to even ask My Name more or less My Last Name. Second She NEVER actually said Yes or NO to the questions of The Doctor there Accepting New Patients which again seems unusually Odd. The Woman informs Me of the Following Procedure of Theirs which Totally confused the ever Living fuck Out of Me to be Brutally Honest.

Their New Patient Procedure for lack of a better Name/Term was as Follows. The New Patient must Personally come into the Office (and its worse for Me since I live in the Middle of the Woods so Everything I need is 45-60 minutes away), and I’m not kidding FILL OUT AN APPLICATION. Yes I said Application. Then The New Patients turns in the filled out Form(s), Goes Home, AND Waits 2-3 WEEKS to See if They get a Call informing Them They have been accepted as a Patient. Its reminded Me of the fucking Collage Application Process where They make You jump through God knows How many Hoops, make You kiss Their Ass, and Then String You along before letting You know Their Decision.

I didn’t let this Bizarre bullshit phase Me because I figured Well Hell it’s 2019 and the Internet Rules the fucking World so chances were I could fill out Their Form(s) Online. Immediately The Woman said that was NOT an Option. I asked Her puzzled as all get out then what were the Way or Ways I could do it Avoiding driving 2 hours round trip just to fill out a fucking Form(s). She paused and then Told Me I could have the Form(s) FAXED to ME and Then Fax them back when completed. That or She could SNAIL MAIL them to Me, and I’d then fill them out and send SNAIL MAIL them back.

This was so fucking Off Track I told the Woman I’d have to call My Wife because in 2019 I don’t Own a Outdated Dinosaur of a Communication System, BUT My Wife has Access to one at Work. I of course had No Clue what the Number was so I told the Woman I’d find out and call Her back in a minute with the Fax Number. She said Alright and We hung Up.

I contacted My Wife and She gave Me Her Work’s Fax Number and I called The Doctor’s Office back literally 3 minutes Later. This Time a Young Man who sounded like He just woke the fuck up after a Rip Van Winkle Length Nap. He also didn’t seem to have a Grasp of His Job or the Policies of the Office in which He is currently Working.

Automatically I explained I was a New Patient who was Referred to Them by a Current Patient. He then gives Me the Song and Dance about Coming In and Filling Out the Form(s) bullshit, So I ask Him can I Fax or Mail it (I remember the Previous Lady I had said Yes in Spite of the Fact there was NO Internet Option) still a Bit Bewildered.

He turns around and Tells ME there is NO OPTION but to Come in and Fill shit out. I then told Him I had Already Talked to a Lady who said I could use either Option so Now I don’t know Which One of Them is Correct and which is Full of Shit. I ask for the Woman (Who didn’t give Me her Name I realized then) to be put back on the Phone since this Guy was a fucking Tool. He put Me on hold for 15 fucking Minutes before Returning to the Line to let Me know He talked to the Office Manager and They had said Yes to Both Options.

I gave Him the Fax Number which I repeated 3 times, and made Him recite back to ME as I had NO fucking Faith in this All Star Asshole. He got it Correct and I Instructed Him to Write “Attention Les’s Wife” (of fucking course I didn’t actually say that, BUT I never Use Real Names. And in the RARE instances I do I make the Readers Well Aware.) and He doubled checked the Name and Spelling which Surprised the shit out of Me.

I Hung up still pondering what the hell was all This Happy Horseshit. Application?! What I got out of that was/is They are getting Your Info and Medical History and then like a fucking Draft Pick are choosing Who to Treat. I don’t know why the Douchebags just don’t say that They aren’t Currently seeing New Patients, BUT I can get My shit on File and Be all set if and When They Do.

Anyway My Wife got Home in the Evening and I retold Her the Seriously Insane shit I had felt with concerning this Doctor Referral/Recommendation. I then Inquired to exactly what in God’s Name the Form(s) actually were, AND THE DIPSHIT NEVER SENT THEM. Oh So Fucking Well, They can….SUCK A GIANT KING KONG COCK.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober (Posted 12:23 AM)

Grave Robbing For Morons

Intro: This Video was Obviously Recored on a VHS Tape, and Who Knows how many Years it Took to End Up getting Posted Online. The Young Man in the Video seems to be Mentally Unstable or Perhaps Intoxicated, and has an Odd Stutter. The Young Man and His Camera Man/Lady have Never been Identified.

Is This Proof of 20th Century Grave Robbing or is it Someone’s Sick Joke?!

Watch, Listen, Think, and Decide For Yourself. Enjoy.H

Well That as Weird and Wild Food for Thought. EVEN if it is Fake it’s Disturbing that 2 People Know So Much About Modern Day Grave Robbing in the First Place. Why would These Plot Pilfering Grave robbers going around Kicking in Caskets and Cracking Open Crypts?Possibly are They Necro Cannibalistic Death Cult Members? Fans of Necrophilia? Is it a Corpses for Cash Operation? Do These Two Act as Cemetery Middlemen for Nefarious Dark Web Sickos and Psychos seeking Cadavers?!

We most likely will NEVER Know.

Brought to You by Les Sober

Racists are Revolting

Warning: The Following Post Contains a Great Deal of Foul Language, and Violent Imagery that Some People May find Offensive or Disturbing. There are Pictures of ACTUAL DEAD NAZI WAR CRIMINALS with The Noose Still Around Their Next From Being EXECUTED FOR SAID WAR CRIMES AND OTHER WAR TIME ATROCITIES. During the NUREMBERG TRIAL (1945-1948) Enjoy.

I’m Sick and fucking Tired of all this Racist fucking Bullshit going on Currently in America. These Hateful Pieces of Shit running around Beating People, Shooting People, and Generally being complete fucking Assholes to Anyone who ISN’T a Racist.

ITS TIME TO MAKE RACISTS AFRAID AGAIN. Its time to Drive these White Trash, Inbred, Uneducated, and Ignorant Assholes back under the fucking Rock They Slithered Out from Under. Theres No Room in America for fucking Racists.

We should Round Up all the Racist Fuckers and DEPORT THEM TO ANTARCTICA the fucking Whitest Place on Earth since Their such Fans of the Color. Let Them take Their Own fucking Advice which They are TOO FUCKING STUPID to Understand.

If THEY Don’t Like It LEAVE YOU HYPOCRITICAL COCKSUCKERS.

All this Violent Racist shit is Being Propagated by The Obese Orange Rapist Traitor in The White House because Only Scumfuck Racist Ratfucks support His egotistical Crimes against AMERICA and AMERICANS.

So Here’s What I Think, Brace Yourself its Going to Get FUGLY AS FUCK.

White Nationalists: White Collar Political Elitists, The Wealthy Old White Man Racists from Way Back. White Nationalists are just as fucking Pathetically Fucked as every other Racist Hate Group, the only Different is They are far better dressed in Expensive Suits. They are the “Serial Killer Racist” named so for Their ability (just like a Sociopath) to hide in Plain Sight without Anyone Knowing Their Secret.

They like Lynching so Much than HANG YOUR FUCKING SELVES YOU SCUMFUCKERS Make America Great, KILL YOURSELVES. These are the Old School Racist Fucktards that have Paved the Way for Every Other Racist Son of a Bitch.

KKK: Klu Klux Kunis is more like it. These Historical Throwback Redneck Racist Backwood Sister Fuckers run around in Sheets like Assholes Burning Crosses which to ME makes No fucking Sense Whatsoever since the KKK only Allows Christian Racists to become Members.

The KKK is a fucking Joke even in Todays Racist Climate. These are the Dumbfucks that run around spouting Stupid Racist Shit like ‘The South with RISE AGAIN.” Umm No its fucking Won’t. GET THE FUCK OVER IT ASSHOLES YOU GOT YOUR RACIST SLAVERY LOVING ASS HANDED TO YOU BY THE NORTH, YOU LOST THE CIVIL FUCKING WAR NOW GET THE FUCK OVER IT ALREADY PUNK ASS BITCHES. They shouldn’t be Pro Racist They should be PRO DENTIST the Toothless Hillbilly Bastards.

The Proud Boys: Proof You can take the Date Raping, Homophobic, Binge Drinking College Fuck Up Out of the Frat House, But You can’t take it the Date Raping, Binge Drinking, Homophobic, College Fuck Up Out of the Frat Boy. These Stupid Cowards are such fucking PUSSIES that Like Nazis They travel in Groups to Avoid getting Their Teeth Kicked in. Thats because 1 on 1 They’re SCARED LITTLE PUNK ASS SACKS OF SHIT. Their Leader whatever that Hispter fucks Name is is even a BIGGER PUSSY.

He got all Butt Hurt and called the fucking Local News because His Neighbor put up a Yard Sign Condemning his Racism and the little big talking bitch CRIED ABOUT IT LIKE A FUCKING BABY. The Ground Boys are Cowardly Pussies who can Talk Mad SHit, But Can’t take it without running to the Media to Whine and Bitch like the Spineless, Sniviling, Scummy Bitch Boys.

Neo Nazis: How fucking Stupid are These Self Righteous Assholes? I mean They Stole Their groups Ideology and Token Symbol the Swastika from THE MOTHERFUCKING RACIST GERMAN NAZIS OF WW2. So how the fuck can these Bald Headed Bitches talk about “America this, America That” when Their whole Schtick is GERMAN.

Again Nazis are True Cowards who fight in Gangs and Pick on the Most Helpless because They are afraid off getting seriously fucked Up on the Street by NAZI HATING AMERICAN PATRIOTS. If a Nazi wants to prove How tough He is (which is a fucking Joke to begin with since Nazis are SPINELESS Yellow Bellied COWARDS) then He or She should take Their Steel Toed Combat Boots, and KICK IN THEIR OWN SHIT FILLED SKULLS.

Steven Miller: Sleazy Fuck should be Lowered SLOWLY feet First into a fucking Wood Chipper that has Dull and Rusty Blades. This Should be Done LIVE ON TV and STREAMED ALL OVER THE INTERNET/SOCIAL MEDIA.

Steve Bannon: This Fat, Alcoholic, Wife Beating Racist should be Force Fed Rot Gut Fortified Wine until His Belly is Swollen at Max Capacity. Then He should be Thrown to the Fucking Floor like the Maggot He is, and Kicked Repeatedly until His Stomach Explodes. And this too should be done in FULL VIEW OF THE PUBLIC/ LIVE AUDIENCE.

Moscow Mitch “The Bitch” McConnell: This Deformed looking Turtle Motherfucker should be Skinned Alive, Rolled in Salt, and Then have the Salt washed Off with Pure Lemon Juice Extract, and Repeat until the Vile Racist Traitor is fucking DEAD. Then His Corpse should be Hung Upside Down from the White House Flag Pole for all to See until it ROTS AWAY.

ICE: ICE Agents are nothing more than Government Paid Racist Gustapo Thugs. These Brain Dead Douchebags run around doing whatever the fuck They want because They’re the GOP’s Racist Lap Dogs. ICE should be fucking Abolished, ICE Agents Arrested, and Executed in a NON STOP PUBLIC TRIAL and EXECUTION.

I could spend Days watching an Endless Line of ICE asshole racist Agents getting Convicted and Immediately Killed with some MEDIEVAL TORTURE DEVICES (so It’s SLOW AND AS PAINFUL AS POSSIBLE). Perhaps Hanging Them Upside Down Naked with Their Legs Spread, and Then SAWN IN HALF by HAND No Chainsaws Here just Antique Lumberjack Saws for These VILE RACIST FUCKS.

The Boarder Patrol: These Racist Fuckwits ae essentially ICE’s little Inbred Racist Brother. They are Moronic, Uneducated Racist Wannabe Prison Guards. These Low Level Racist fucks are more than Likely too fucking Ignorant to even Realize what Racist Shitfucks They actually are. They Like ICE should be Arrested, Tried, Convicted, and EXECUTED for Hate Crimes and Crimes Against Humanity.

Kirstjen Michele Nielsen: This Racist Fuck Bucket is the Filthy Fucker that Allowed Kids to be Caged like fucking Animals, and then DENIED BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS (Not to Mention MULTIPLE DEATHS AND SEVERAL DETENTION CAMPS.) She created CONCENTRATION CAMPS FOR FUCKING CHILDREN. Now here’s the kicker This Sleazy Whorebag is a Top Their Racist Asshole, Not only did She orchestrate Brutal and Inhumane Immigration Concentration Camps (For Adults to Not Just Children) THEN THIS FUCKING SHITFUCKER GOES OUT TO EAT AT A MOTHERFUCKING MEXICAN RESTURANT! WHAT A CUNT.

THE GOP: All I have to say is these Hypocritical Racist Scumfuckers is They Love Demonizing Immigrants, BUT THEY SURE LOVE HIRING THEM JUST ASK THE KING COCKSUCKER, THE SUPREME ASSHOLE IN THE OVAL OFFICE. GOP MOTTO IS “DO AS WE SAY, NOT AS WE DO.” bunch of Vile Racist, Serial Rapist, Child Molesting, Sex Trafficking Elitist ASSFUCKS. ELIMINATE THE ELITE. BANKRUPT THE RICH.

MAGA MAGGOTS: These Stupid Fuckfaced Racist are simply TOO FUCKING STUPID TO LIVE. They Regurgitate GOP PROPAGANDA about the Evils of Socialism while They HAPPILY take FOOD STAMPS, DISABILITY, WELFARE, and SOCIAL FUCKING SECURITY which by fucking DEFINITION OF THE FUCKING WORD MAKES THEM SOCIALISTS (Not to mention other reasons as Well Like PUBLIC SCHOOLS, PUBLIC PARKS Etc.).These BOTTOM FEEDING, INBRED, TRAILER PARK DWELLING, IGNORANT, UNEDUCATED WHITE TRASH SCUM OF THE EARTH. Every Asshole with a Red Hat should be Rounded Up, Put on Space Shuttles, and SENT ON A ONE WAY TICKET INTO THE DEPTHS OF FUCKING SPACE.

Eliminate, Eradicate, and Erase Racism From America ONCE AND FOR FUCKING ALL. All White People are fucking IMMIGRANTS just ask the NATIVE AMERICANS.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (37/365)

“Filthy, come On Bud You’re blocking the fucking Doorway.” said Dizzy with a Hint of Frustration and Concern.

“Must have been Rotated by The Serpents in My Sleep is all.” replied the Bum in a Gravely Growl like Bear Yawning after Rising from Hibernation.

“Sure Thing Filthy I’m sure it was the Sleep Serpents and What have You just Please get the fuck out of the Way.” said Dizzy growing more Demanding by the Minute.

The Bum strained and sighed as He dragged Himself to His feet. He then peered around on the Ground collecting His various Belongings into a Pile after which He then Inspected with Great Concern that Each and Every Item was accounted For. Once the Bum had completed His process He inquired about a Possible Green Assistance Program Payment.

Lee had absolutely No Clue what the Man was referring too, that was before Dizzy smacked His arm to get His attention. Lee watched as Dizzy pulled a Couple of crinkled Up Dollar Bills from his Wallet, and a Joint from behind His Ear which He then promptly handed to the Man. Lee looked at Dizzy who Nodded His Head Slightly and motioned towards the Man by Rolling His Eyes with the Classic “I’ll Explain this shit Later, Now JUST DO IT.” Expression Plastered across His face. So still trying to process the whole situation Lee forked over Five Dollars adding He wasn’t Holding.

“Thank You Sires for Your Divine Tribute to this truly Down Trodden Old Soul. Go Be on Your Way Now Royals the Court will not Wait as The War Tribunal is Chomping They are Chomping at the Bit. They want to Cry Havoc and Release Their Dogs of War Upon the World, and Revel in the Retribution!!,” Hollered the Homeless Man in a Grand Fashion while Bowing Ceremoniously Ushering Lee and Dizzy into the Apartment Building.

Dizzy followed closely Behind Dizzy as They entered the Cramped Little Lobby which must have Measured a mere 10 feet by 10 feet and Not a Hair more. There was a Bare Light Bulb suspended from the Low Lying Lobby Ceiling that Swung ever so Slowly back and Forth flickering every so Often which Lee found to be a Bit Unsettling to say the Least.

The Floor was so Gritty from the Layer Upon Layer of Compounded Dirt and Grim it felt like walking on fucking Sandpaper. The Walls were Painted in a Shade of Sickly Olive Green that reminded Lee of a Defunct Prison, a Mental Hospital Throw Back from the fucking 60’s, or perhaps an Abandoned Military Facility.

The Paint was Not Only Faded and caked with Filth it was Cracked and Chipping off all over the fucking Place. For all Intents and Purposes the Lobby Didn’t resemble that of an Legitimate Apartment Building, but that of a fucking Abandoned and Decaying State Run Institution that had been fucking Shut Down and Forgotten About all those Many, Many Years Ago.

Lee was beginning to Suspect that This Apartment Building as Dizzy claimed was in Fact a Shady Run Down Fleabag Hotel where You can Rent Rooms by The Hour, and Who’s Residents consisted of Late Stage Alcoholics Drinking Themselves to Death, Junkies of All Kinds, Mentally Ill People whose Family as well as Society had Left Behind, Petty Low Level Criminals and Thugs, and Wards of The State.

Be Sure to Catch Next Weeks Riveting Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (38/365)

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober (Posted 1:33 AM)

FYB Presents: A Saturday Midnight Splatter Film

Tonight Fiends We have a VERY SICK SPECIAL FEATURE FILM for You!

Tonights Film is No Other than the Original 1970 American Gore Cult Classic”THE WIZARD OF GORE” By The Legendary Director, Splatter Film Genre Creator, and The Godfather of Gore ……….

Herschell Gordon Lewis

Plot Summery: Master Illusionist and Madman Montag The Magnificent Uses His Ability to Hypnotize and Control the Thoughts of Audience Members in order to Stage GRUESOME ILLUSIONS INVOLVING THE GRAPHIC MAIMING AND MUTILATION of the “Volunteer” Utilizing His MIND BENDING POWER!!

A Local TV Talk Show Host Sherry, and Her Boyfriend Jack begin to Investigate Montag, and as They do They Begin to Wonder if Montag’s Extremely Violent Performances aren’t a Trick at All , but are ACTUALLY REAL!!

WARNING!!! THE FOLLOWING FILM CONTAINS SCENES OF GRAPHIC VIOLENCE AND ACTS OF TORTURE THAT SOME VIEWERS MAY FIND DISTURBING. VIEWER DISCRETION IS SERIOUSLY ADVISED. Enjoy.

Well Thats All The Murder and Mayhem for Now.

Good Night and Sleep Tight.

Presented By Les Sober

(Posted 12:18 am)

FYB’s Cartoons That Are NOT for Kids: Psychotic Saturday Cartoons

Saturday is Upon Us Once Again so its Time for Another Round of Cartoons That Are NOT for Kids. This Week its a Double Dose of Demented from treatsforbeasts (I know that looks a little fucked, BUT that’s how He Spells His Moniker).

First is a Little Diddy Titled “Beasts”, and if I had to guess its a Sarcastic Sociological Commentary on How People Feel Entitled to do Whatever the hell They want regardless of the Damage or Consequences. “Beasts” was the LAST VIDEO Posted by treatsforbeasts over 2 Years Ago.

WARNING!!! THE SECOND CARTOON TITLED “I LOVE JESUS” Contains IMAGES and CONTENT That Some Viewers May Find HIGHLY OBJECTIONABLE. ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A CHRISTIAN WHO TAKES THEIR RELIGION SERIOUSLY DO NOT WATCH “I LOVE JESUS”.

Summery/Plot Line of “I LOVE JESUS” Portrays Christians as Members of a Violent Death Cult. So You can see why the WARNING Above was Necessary, and if Not Now You will After Watching It. Enjoy.

And Now Our Second Featured Cartoon “i love jesus” Enjoy.

Hope You had a BLAST Watching This Delightful Double Dose of The Demented. Until Next Time remember Animation can be an Abomination Too.

Presented By Les Sober

So It All Started When………

So it all Started when I was Driving to the Gadget Store to pick Up a New Tomato Polisher to give to My Wife for Our 57th Wedding Anniversary. Out of fucking No Where a Naked Guy Higher than God on BathSalts Leapt into the Middle of the Road trying to Eat His Own Face. He had already Consumed His Lips and was Futilely trying to Shove the Rest of His Face into His Mouth.

I sweared like a son of a bitch and Accidentally Drove of the Road to Avoid turning the Man into a Human Meat Sack. As My Car charged Head First Down a the Stereo embankment Zigging and Zagging through the Bumper Car Course from Hell. At Last My Car came to a Abrupt Stop after the Wheels got Entangled in Under Brush.

I exited My Car and Started to Treck through the Dense Woods in Search of Civilization. As I strolled along I heard a particularly Strange and some what Disturbing Sound. It sounded Like a Rabid Wounded Grizzly Bear, and its Prey had fallen Head First into a Giant ass Blender. Curious I wondered towards the Unknown Noise until I reached a Near by Clearing in the Woods. There I laid Eyes on One of the Greatest Abominations I have ever born Witness too.

There is that Clearing was Only what I can Assume was Bigfoot who looked Nothing really like the Stereotypically Depiction of what Bigfoot is thought to look like. This Humanoid Creature was in deed HUGH standing around 8 Feet Tall, weighted approximately 400 plus Pounds, and was in need of some Serious Industrial Manscaping (Due to the fact this Creature had Excessive amounts of Body Hair I could see Why Some People Mistook the Body Hair for actual Fur). The Bigfoot though had the Physical Characteristics not of an Ape, but much more like that of a Neanderthal Caveman with a Sloped Head with a Pronounced Brow.

The Bigfoot like Creature was engaged in a Rowdily fucking a Large Brown Bear, or Perhaps It was Raping It I’m not too sure. I’m not sure because I have No fucking Clue what a Fully Grown Adult Brown Bear or a Suspected Bigfoot sound like while having Sex. All I’m saying is when Cats Fight or Fuck it sounds the Same which is as if They were being Skinned Alive.

Not wanting to be Spotted and running the Risk of Being Killed or Worse Dragged into This Interspecial Clusterfuck. So I took off as Fast as My Legs could carry Me. After a Few Minutes of Running through the Woods I came across a Small Zoo on the Boarder of the Woods and a Rather Large Looking Town. I made my way to the Front Gate only to find it Chained Shut with a sign hanging on it that read “Closed for Mating Season”.

I figured even if the Zoo wasn’t currently Open to the Public there still has to be a handful of Staff on the Premises to Clean, Feed, and Tend to the Care of the Zoo;s Animal Population. I scaled the Fence and let Myself In. As I explored the Zoo I gravitated over to the Penguin Enclosure since I personally think Penguins are Dope as Fuck. I still had yet to locate a Staff Member and decided since I was already in the Zoo I may as well Treat Myself to a Round of Penguin Spotting.

I entered the Building that Housed the Penguin Enclosure and started to Look Around. As I was staring at a Colony of Emperor Penguins I became aware that for a Building Housing Penguins this One was Rather Warm, Yet the Snow/Ice in the Enclosure(s) was Melting in spite of the Above Average South Pole/North Pole / Arctic Temperatures. I simply Couldn’t get My head around it defied Science. I figured something had gone wrong technically maybe the Cooling System had Broken Down or was About or To something to that effect.

I searched around until I located the Access Door that lead Directly into the Actual Penguin Enclosure and once again let Myself in. As soon as I set foot into the Enclosure a Malicious Penguin Slide Tackled Me, and in Response I fell flat on My face in a Big Old Snow Bank. Just then a Second Penguin landed on My back knocking the Wind Out of Me. As I tried to Stand Breathing in Heavily in an attempt to Catch My Breath I inhaled a large Portion of the Snow Bank. Once I got to My Feet I realized this Snow was gritty like Sand, and no where Near Cold as it seemed to be Room Temperature.

A Second or Two later I felt a Rush of Energy that felt like NASA had Launched a Rocket up My Ass. I could hear My Hair Growing and there was a Low constant Humming in My Ears. I then became insanely aware of My Surroundings and started to become intensely Paranoid. I thought to Myself that perhaps this is what it was like to Loose One’s Mind as My Heart was Booming a Death Metal Band’s Bass Drum. I scrambled Frantically out of the Enclosure and bolted out of The Penguin House in Haste.

Once outside again I freaked the fuck Out as I became Overwhelmed by the Situation and remembered I was in fact Trespassing after Breaking an Entering. I knew I had to get the hell out of the Zoo no matter what before I got Arrested for My Illegal Shenanigans. I started sprinting from Building to Building, Enclosure to Enclosure trying to find a Posted Map of the Zoo’s Layout.

Before I found One The Zoo was inundated with Militant DEA Agents wearing Bullet Proof Vests, Guns Drawn, and Their Badges swinging wildly around Their Necks from cheap Chains. I was apprehended immediately and taken into Custody. Luckily I managed to inform the Agents I wasn’t a Zoo Employee which They then Verified. They uncured Me and told Me to Remain where I was until instructed Further as I had already gotten in the Way of Their Drug Raid.

It turned out that the Zoo wasn’t closed for Mating Season as the sign stated, but it was Closed for Drug Smuggling. As it turned Out the Employees of the Zoo had a MASSIVE Meth Lab in the Basement of the Penguin House. As They Manufactured Kilo after Kilo of High Grade Crystal Meth the Hid it in Plain Sight by Masking Their Meth as Actual Snow.

In the End 37 Zoo Employees were Arrested in the Raid and the DEA Confiscated over 2 Tons of Amassed Crystal Meth making it the Biggest Meth Bust bu the DEA in Meth History.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

Misc. 1 & 2

Dealing with TechTards is A Lot like The DMV. You call One motherfucker for Help and They tell You that You need to talk to This Person or That fucking Person, But it’s Never Actually the fucking Person You are currently Talking too.

First You have to fucking Fight whatever God fucking Awful Automated System that Acts as the fucking Gate Keeper. Then right as Your about to Lose Your fucking Mind and Have already Cursed Out the Automated Asshole System the First Customer Representative (CR) listens to Your entire fucking Story and then Tell You They will Transfer You which is the fucking Kiss of Death. Once You’re stuck on the fucking Transfer Train You will get Bounced around having to Tell 2,3,4 fucking Other CR You entire fucking Story all Over.

That or the First CR claims It’s NOT THEIR COMPANIES Fault, and that You should Call Every Other fucking Tech Company You also Deal with. If it’s the Latter and You’re instructed to Contact one of the Other Tech Companies You have to go through the ENTIRE FUCKING BULLSHIT PROCESS ALL OVER AGAIN. Usually just the Way DMV bounces You from Line to Line so will The Tech Assholes.

What I mean is They all Claim that there is ABSOLUTELY NO ISSUE on Their End so Its Someone Else’s Issue or Perhaps Your Computer is fucked. The Other Day I had to Log into FYB through a Backdoor of WordPress, and to do that I had to Log into Bluehost, BUT Blue Host was Loading. I did EVEY Trouble Shooting Trick in the Entire Goddamn Book before Begrudgingly Accepted the Fact I would have to CALL Bluehost.

I dread making these type of fucking Phone Calls because I get Angry and My Blood Pressure Sky Rockets like an asshole. One Day I may Suffer an Anger/Rage Induced Brain Aneurism I swear to God. I fought through the Automated motherfucker and reached a Real Person. Immediately after I told Him that My Issue was Bluehost’s Website wouldn’t Load Told ME it was in Fact MY INTERNET PROVIDER that I needed to Talk too about the Issue.

I wasn’t standing for any of this Happy Horseshit so I told Him quite Aggressively that My Internet is fucking Fine, and Not only That But I was Streaming the Shit out of Netflix, Tweeting on My Phone, Googling all Kinds of Crap, and Youtube was Up on My iPad. So the Problem isn’t My Internet I told Him because Obviously Everything I just Listed wouldn’t e Working Either.

The conversation then went in the Same shitty Circle for 15 Minutes before the CR gave Me a Tip to Trouble Shoot the Issue at Last. He then became utterly Obsessed with sending Me some fucking Sort of E-mail. I don’t know where that fucking E-mail Ended Up, But he sat on the Phone FOREVER and a fucking Day waiting for Me to Confirm I received it. I decided I had had Enough for one fucking Day, and Simply Hung Up.

2. For Our Lawyers Sake:

Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, Allowance is Made for “Fair Use” for Purposes such as Criticism, Comment, News Reporting, Teaching, Scholarship, and Research. Fair Use is a Use Permitted by Copyright Statute that might Otherwise be Infringing. Non-Profit, Educational or Personal Use tips the Balance in Favor of Fair Use.

Click to access dmca.pdf

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober