f-your blog

Global Graffiti : A Retrospective in Street Art

One of my fascinations lies in my intense interest in Graffiti Art/ Artists from around the Globe.

Graffiti has a Message be it Political, Social, Independent Thought, Original Ideas/Concepts, or Art for The People to enjoy (to provide a reprieve from the mundane toiling of work and obligations that dominate most of our lives.)

Art is Universal.

So its no surprise that one of my various projects is assembling a pictorial showcasing Street Art of all kinds in any and all forms that it inhabits.

Here is a Sampling of Content from the upcoming “Global Graffiti : A Retrospective in Street Art”

Collected, Compiled, and Arranged By

Les Sober

Letters From The Fallen

Dearest Deidre,

I’m not sure where we are going. It was really great to finally see you after all the years had gone by. We have been through a lot together. Yet still you continue to disappoint me. We once had such high hopes, for ourselves, for each other, for the world

Yet these all crumbled over time. Things began so great, but aren’t things always great before they inevitably would fall apart. We lived in a land of perfection, but the perfection we experienced was just the eye of the storm. The storm whirls around us constantly.

I never knew there was a storm for such a very long time. Things were different back then. I was different. We were different. But I look back. And I realize. Things were almost the same. Exactly. To the tee. We may be longer in the tooth, we may be wider in the hips (wait I’m not a chick), we may be colder inside.

Still it remains. That piece of hope that never dies. We see it in ourselves, some days it shines bright, other days we hold it all in wondering if it still exists. Yet it does in me. I hope it does in you but a lot of times I’m not really all that sure.

Someone told me some things about you. I didn’t believe. I was naive. Funny how we can be so jaded, yet so naive. You promised me false hope. You left me with nothing. Little did you know I like nothing. I am invisible, the transparency is abundant. The veil has been cast.

I will wrap this up now. You need to follow your heart. You need to put it back together. My heart has been healed, along with my mind and my soul. Take the time and say hi to Neil for me.

xoxoxoxo
kyren

SO, this letter is not to anyone in particular. It could be read into and picked apart and well you may think you are Deidre. Most likely you still are not. You see the world is Deidre. Life is her.

We start off so carefree and innocent. We have so many hopes. For life. For love. For how we want things to be. But then the ideals in our minds of how the world should be are broken down by people who want to impose a new worldview upon us. We can personally choose to talk to them. Have a debate. Yell at one another over coffee and crumpets.

still even if we choose not to yell or starbuck fuck these people, these people still permeate the atmosphere with their negativity. I feel it everyday. I see it all the time. People that are just completely miserable and don’t do a thing about it. It poisons us.

people that are not free. they also are a cancer. I dont mean people imprisoned. People who build their own prison and never leave. I am never going back behind my own walls of doom. Nor should anyone.

We, as a nation, need to give ourselves more freedoms. Less control over us. We need to be accepting of all people and not have the government run our lives. We need to get national health care, take those stupid fucking drug ads off the tv, prescription ones that is. We need to show fucked up shit like the commercial in the UK with the girl sending text messages and dying in the car.

Other then that the government needs to back off. Stop printing money. If you are going to print ridiculous amounts of money, please give me some. Or let me rob a bank. Who would miss it?? God knows where the bailout money went. Lining someone’s pockets.

I am disappointed by people every day. It’s crazy. Still the same people that provide the disappointment can bring me hope, joy, and serenity. For that I say nothing. I simply smile.

By SpaceDog

Texting In The Eye of The Shiticane

Once again I find myself having to Apologize. Repeatedly in Our continuing attempt to raise f-yourblog.com up to its full potential have suffered another self induced delay. Well what can We say other than We fucked up, BUT We are working diligently to defuckulate the situation.

As it were We had f-yourblog.com had the offer of a lifetime so passing on it wasn’t even considered and option. Thus We have been away somewhere across The Pond for the last 10 days being Spoiled like motherfuckers. I’ll leave it at that for now as it will be covered in a Piece to be posted in the immediate future.

As soon as I was Stateside I texted SpaceDog and preceded to have yet another of Our Legendary Texting Sessions, and This One Made The Cut.

So without further ado I give you TEXTING IN THE EYE OF THE SHITICANE:

SpaceDog: Oh Shit were u in Italy? I think that’s where u told me u were going at one point. Oh you missed it a 120 minute trump shitshow press conference. Highlights include him saying Democrats are gonna dig up dirt on george washington and that the world at the UN was laughing with him not at him (complete with nonsensical 10 minute explanation)

Les: Yeah We were in Tuscany. 120 minute trump conference…did Hell freeze over while I was gone?! Did hear trump got his fat orange ass laughed outnof the UN LMFAO!!! So officially the entire fucking world is mocking the shit out of trump while laughing right in his fucking face!!!

SpaceDog: Fuck u diane lane. I mean nice. Nah he was talking a lot of crazy all week cuz the UN came to NY.

Les: We should lock the White House down like a CDC Drill, pump it full of MDMA through the AC Vents and let the GOPieces of Shit rape the shit out of each other to death. Problem Solved. MDMA or Flakka Smoke. MDMA is too good for those fuckers! BATH SALTS IT IS!! That way the scumfuckers can eat each others faces while violently raping each other’s orifices beyond Surgical Reconstruction. LMMFAO

SpaceDog: Yeah bath salts. Maybe flake for trump so he’s also disfigured as he’s getting eaten. OK I’ve taken matters into my own hands.

Les: Seriously who the fuck goes to Medical School and decides to be a fucking Proctologist or Urologist?! I mean its the actual shittiest/ pissiest job of fucking medical Professionals?!!

SpaceDog: I’ve been deleting games and quitting games from my phone and computer so far taking me 2 hours. Trying to give all my shit away so i have no desire to fucking play.

Les: Someone’s parents happy about that? Like do they go to cocktail parties and brag their asses off about their wonderful son The Rectologist Ass Doctor OR do they just leave the Ass Doctor part out and just refer to their kid as Doctor?! DAMN.

SpaceDog: IDK maybe someone that likes seeing a lot of dick, but idk its not like u are seeing good dick. I mean i guess u are comparing best case scenario for dick and all i guess.

Les: That’s dedication to the cause. 2 hours of deleting shit?! You sure you don’t work for the government? LOL!

SpaceDog: Like maybe one day u see someone 60 and say we;; I’m glad my balls may only sag a little bit and do not touch my knees. Yeah hillary had me delete some emails. It was mainly 90 minutes in one game mindlessly donating tokens.

Les: DICK WARS on FOX this Fall!

SpaceDog: Then finding all the games in hidden places on my computer like a 14 year old with porn magazines or a guy trying to hide booze from the wife.

Les: So what finally made you want to get out of gaming? At 60 I’m tucking my testicles into my knee socks.

SpaceDog: Because I’ve been doing it 10-12 hours a day for 6 years.

Les: 90 minutes thats kinda hardcore.

SpaceDog: I keep going to all kinds of anonymous meetings and they tell me its not a problem even though I’ve told 3 different sponsors (recent) and 11 in total over the course of my life.

Les: LMFAO! BOOZE! PORN MAGS!

SpaceDog: Makes me think if dammer ever went to AA or NA they would say “Well as long as you are not drinking and reading the big book I really don’t see any issue with you eating a few boys every once in awhile.

Les: I apologize I haven’t smoked in 9-10 days and my Wife got CHinses Food so I’m all fucking over the fucking fuck

SpaceDog: No ganja in Tuscany? Haha i had Chinese today i think the greasy ass egg roll threw me into a rage.

Les: I looked into where you can get it and like America either you know a fucking guy or find a guy that knows a fucking guy. They said students and places with a younger demographic areas were where to look. That though is just painfully fucking obvious. Italy does sell legal “Marijuana Light” called so because of its fucking low ass THC level.

SpaceDog: The O’douls of Reefer

Les: Bullseye!

SpaceDog: I guess Amsterdam or Portugal would be better, actually even Canada is better.

Les: Its low as fuck all compared to the killer shit America is growing now a days and shit. People called it “fake weed” and complained about it giving them headaches and shit.

SpaceDog: I mean the cheapest legal place is Uruguay but I’d be scarred I’d get abducted there. Yeah if its from a machine its bound to be crap.

Les: Yeah I do love weed but not even I am going fucking anywhere near Africa, fucking everything in Africa fucking kills you. There was a store that was faker than fuck called CANNABIS that I looked into after hearing a ton of people shit talking it. Everything says Marijuana on it BUT ITS CBD ONLY, no THC whatsofuckingever. Its a classic fucking bait and switch false advertising scam.

SpaceDog: Uruguay is in South Africa but Africa yeah 1000 x’s over i don’t wanna go there. Maybe Casablanca if i can go back in time to when the movie was made or ancient Egypt but fuck current Africa. Oh whoopee do LOL! Thought i did almost buy gummies with CBD and melatonin but the dude wanted $30.

Les: Its all derived from the same fucking plant, but these cunters where misleading people by making them think they’d get a buzz, but it was just CBD your not getting Amsterdam Merch Here.

SpaceDog: Oh yeah so i may be quitting beer specifically because that entitled douchbag supreme said he really liked beer 15-20 x’s during his hearing. Maybe i will start the red wine. That’s the only booze i projectile vomit. That’s always fun.

Les: Kavanaugh is a complete CUNT, that fuck is getting raped by Hitler in Hell the fucking piece of living breathing fucking shit. CASTRATE KAVANAUGH! Cut his rotten cock off. AND NOW the rancid pecker fucker ruined BEER?!! GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. Is there any fucking thing Trump and his GOPieces of Shit don’t fucking shit all over for fucking fucks sake. Waterboard that Supreme Court Cunt with Natty ICE till he’s fucking deader than dead the asshole deserves it. Well if you gotta vomit projectile is the best way to go I believe.

SpaceDog: All things projectile is better except when you jazz past your face and have no idea where the wad landed.

Les: Who the fuck green lit Murphy fucking Brown 2018?! How the fuck is Candice Bergeron not dead as fuck?!

SpaceDog: Out of all the reboots (including Fuller House) it is by far the worst.

Les: Thats why I where a face mask when I jerk off.

SpaceDog: I fell asleep 3 different nights trying to watch.

Les: Yeah but unlike typically rebooted shit their continuing it like it never went off the air or some fuckshit, I mean Candice looks like a blonde Liza Minelli. Botox Bombed out Blound. I guess 45 to 50 fucking facelifts at least, and she still is older than fuck, and not that mush better looking in spite of the gross amount of Plastic Surgery. No one remembers that fucking show so in the end who fucking cares?! LMMFBO!

SpaceDog: They should remake this horrible show. Watch “Dangerous Women TV Show Intro” on Youtube. I vaguely remember my parents watching it and it not being very funny. Not the women murphy brown not so funny.

Les: Yeah it was all political as shit. “The Series Return” that’s how fuck me Fox is billing this Bullshattery.

SpaceDog: Only one I’m honestly glad returned from the dead is Will and Grace since no one seems to be in much of a hurry to do it. Christ sometimes i think I’m gonna have to do it myself. Though that Australian show with the gay guy was good. The Stuff nightmares are made of. It’s like they sewed together the faces of all the dead Golden Girls to remake hers.

Les: I think bringing back Will and Grace would definitely be interesting shit. TV has become boring as shit. I’d especially like to see it comeback under your direction. That be entertaining.

SpaceDog: Its been back gonna be year 2 this year.

Les: What Australian Show was that?! I must have missed that one? Getting older is a shit reason for being absent minded. What Really?! Dear fucking Christ on a cocking where the fuck have I been? Oh wait living under a fucking rock apparently.

SpaceDog: Please Like Me…..i think it’s on HULU. The main guy is gay but thats mostly it besides the guys he dates. It was on the networks on some weird channel i never heard of that got axed.

Les: Cool I just scored my Brother’s HULU password so GAME FUCKING ON!

SpaceDog: Do u use IMDB? If i sign up for an account, do you know if i can get alerted to when actors/actresses have new projects coming out? Like how Spotify tells me about albums and concerts.

Les: Sounds like one of those shows ahead of its time and shit so at the time the general moronic public couldn’t understand it and it met an untimely demise.

SpaceDog: Yeah its pretty fucking dark sarcasm humor not all daisies and bullcrap.

Les: I’m not even sure I can recollect what the hell IMDB is, I’m the Technology Anti-Christ or some shit.

SpaceDog: Internet movie database

Les: Dark Sarcasm I’m in.

SpaceDog: I see one hot guy in one movie and i cyberstalk everything they’ve been in.

Les: I really wish I knew of this database much fucking sooner.

SpaceDog: And drunk tweet them and shame delete in the morning.

Les: LMFBO! Shame Delete!!

SpaceDog: I just assumed everyone knew. I’ve been on the internet since AOL.

Les: Think we have all but been there. I’m a Techtard. I’m always having to fucking catch the hell up LMTB!

SpaceDog: The biggest “celeb” that responded was the sprint/Verizon guy. Can u hear me now? Trump would say thats bigly sad.

Les: That be trump for you that fat orange fucktard, that baby dick having bitch boy, could he want to fuck his daughter any more?!! The fat filthy son of a bitch scumfucking scumfucked scumfucker scumfuck! ORANGE WANK MAGGOT! I can’t WAIT to shit on Trump’s fucking grave. I’m talking downing Exlax like Beer before hand and a German Industrial Institutional Grade Enema on Site.

+I sent SpaceDog one of those Personalized Emojis that fucking look like you. It’s one of the really fucking random shit that just appears from time to time. Its Me holding the 50 pound Shit Emoji thats as big as my Avatars fucking head. And not only does the Shit Emoji have the classic Smile and Wide Eyes but this one has a bright pink ribbon on top. My avatars head is slightly tilted with a slight smile that makes me look like a fucking sociopath.+

Les: WTF is this emoji for?! I had to wait a fuck long time for an opening anyfuckingwhere to use this absurd fucking thing.

SpaceDog: Idk 1) when i tell you that may fiber is working? 2) I just gave someone Benefiber recently maybe then? 3) can’t wait to shit on your face 40 text it to the Wife immediately before you give her a Dutch Oven.

Les: It looks like I came to your house, rang your fucking doorbell, and then presented you with a 50 pound pile of shit emoji like some fucking welcome to the neighborhood type shit cake or perhaps its a congratulatory “Its a Girl” new born baby gift?! Or just plain old pile of shit thats as big as my fucking head with a bow on the bitch to make it what a fucking present?! IT FUCKING DOESN’T ADD UP BABYCAKES! #3 Winner Winner Chicken Dinner! Second Place #4.

SPaceDog: Third place i shit so hard your toilet is clogged u need a plumber. They need a guy with his asscrack showing emoji.

Around this Time Gorged on Opulent amounts of Chinese Take Out, and High as a fucking Kite I fell the fuck asleep so sue me. And thus concludes this installment of Les and SpaceDog’s Textology.

By Les Sober & SpaceDog

The Latest News From Nowhere Special

This post is a Hats Off Tribute to Our favorite Small Independent BiWeekly Publication “The Dullard’s Digest” out of La Plant South Dakota with a Sparse Population of just 105.

The “The Dullard’s Digest” covers all things La Plant such as local happenings, community news, local government, Schools/Churches/Obituaries/Weddings, and all various local Odds and Ends such as The Yearly County Fair and the like.

Specifically for this post We decided to Showcase the Unusually Unique Advertisements found within the “The Dullard’s Digest” which are truly in a League of Their Own.

(If you make a reference to the movie Kill Yourself for High Crimes and Misdemeanors of And OR Being FUCKING LAME.)

So Let Us Begin With………

Pickler Pete’s Pickled Emporium

“Your Source For All Your Pickled Needs!”

Breakfast Bonanza Special:

1 Gallon of Edger’s Edibles Pickled Eggs,

1 Gallon Of Bryan Brine’s Pickled Sausages

And 1 Gallon of Vinegar Vally’s Pickled Pork Hocks

for The LOW, LOW PRICE OF $59.99

Introducing Pickled Pete’s BRAND NEW Luscious ALL VEGAN Line of Pickled FRUITS AND VEGETABLES:

” A FINE BRINE VEGAN” AVAILABLE NOW!! Guaranteed to be Green as fuck.

BOGO SALE! Quart Jar of Pickled Top Self Tofu for Just $9.99 HOW DEVINE!

Pickled Products make Kids Happy, Hearty, and Healthy! Puts MAD HAIR on Your Chest AND Genitals! Excellent Prevention for ANY and ALL of Ass Caners (Domestic OR Imported!) Stops Dolphin Rape, and aids The Coalition of Children Around The World Without Cocaine.

Try Our Pickler Pete’s Lovely Line of Pickled Goods for SENIORS! 4.25 Pound Jar of Pickled Prunes just $19.99 This Weekend ONLY!!

Clearance! Get 10 for $10 Get 10 lb. of Pickled Beets for $10!

The BarFly Bar and Lounge

Here’s Our Weekly Drink Special Run Down For This Week!

Mad Dog Mondays- Glass of Mad Dog 20/20 Fortified Wine for $1.50

MD 20/20 Flavors: Dragon Fruit, Purple Rain, Tangerine Dream, Banana Red, Peaches & Cream, Blue Raspberry, Buck Bunny, Cranberry, Electric Melon, Key Lime Pie, Kiwi Lemon, Lemon Ice, Orange Jubilee, Red Grape, Spiked Melon, Sour Apple, and Strawberry Kiwi.

Tequila Me Tuesday: $3 2 for 1 Shots of Pepe Lopez, Montezuma, & El Toro

Wet Your Whistle’s BEER BELLY BAR (All Beer Bar) with Specials On

Pitcher of Bud Light and Clamato $2.50

Bucket of Natty Ice or Natty Light for $6.00 (# of Cans 12)

24 oz Beers for a Buck: This week featuring Schlitz, Rolling Rock, & Olympia

40 0z Thursday Specials: Get a 40. oz of Colt .45, Old English 800, King Cobra, or St.Ides for $1.99!

FUBAR Fridays: MOON”Motherfucking”SHINE will put a smile on your face!

$12 Standard Mason Jars of: Proof Positive (609 Proof)

White Lightning White Whisky (619 Proof)

Ilikea Opossum Paul’s Moonshine Vodka (732 Proof)

RumRunner’s Moonshine Rum (882 Proof)

AND

Jimmy Crackcorn’s Corn Rye Moonshine. (976 Proof)

ALL DAY EVERCLEAR SPECIAL Evercleaf Cocktail $3.75

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND……

SUPER SHOT Saturdays featuring Shot Specials!!!

.50 Cent Shots of Mr. Boston Blackberry Brandy, Canadian Club, Monarch Gin, and Old Grand-Dad

3 Finger for $3 Special on Oro Tequila, Gordon’s Gin or Southern Host

“God Save Me! “Sunday Hangover Breakfast is BACK AGAIN!

For all those idiots who drank their asses off the night before The Barfly offers a particular Breakfast known for its alleged Cure to the Hell of the Next Day’s Hangover, HAVE NO FEAR BARFLY SUNDAY BREAKFAST IS HERE!

This Week on the Menu- The Old Timer Special!

Consisted of: 12 oz Shank Steak, Spam Hash w/ Bacon, and 2 Slices of Pork Roll.

Served with a Side of Scrapple, a Pickler Pete’s 1,000 Year Old Pickled Egg

AND a 32 oz. PBR (Can) FOR ONLY $2.99!!!!

The Weisenheimer Theater and Movie Exchange:

Saturday Night Slaughterfest Featuring some of Your FAVORITE B-Horror Slasher Films!

This Weeks Triple Feature is:

“Shoot My Face Off I Like It” From the Demented Director of Denmark Emil Mikkel

“Disembowel Me as I Giggle” from Redound Japanese Horror Fanatic Akasuki Hiromasa

AND

“Copulating With Corpses” The U.S. Version of “Necrophilia Nights” from The Infamously Dark and Disturbed mind of Lithuania’s Master of Sheer Terror Von Dire

SHOW STARTS PROMPTLY AT THE STROKE OF MIDNIGHT EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT. COME IF YOUR DARE, BUT YOU MAY NOT LIVE TO TELL THE TALE!

FOREIGN FILM FRIDAYS featuring the finest Foreign Films from Liechtenstein, Guam, Antartica, Mongolia, South Africa, Fiji, and Turkey JUST FOR STARTERS!!

ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW AT MIDNIGHT EVER SUNDAY ALL YEAR!

AND REMEMBER Tuesday Night Troma is BACK AND BAD ASS!

All Troma Movies All Day Dawn to Dusk: Inquire about our Enema Express Pass Today and don’t miss a single moment of Troma’s Famous GORE! NUDITY! SEX JOKES! PUKE,PISS,and SHIT! All in the Name of Independent Cinema for OVER 42 YEARS and COUNTING! (Show Times: 1st Film Starts when the Theater Opens and Over after the Last one Plays before Closing!)

Coming Next TUESDAY!!!

COMING NEXT MONTH!

AND BE SURE NOT TO FORGET THE Weisenheimer’s WISEAU WEDNESDAY!

Every Wednesday This Year there will 6 showings (9am, 12 noon, 3pm, 6pm, 9pm and 12am) of the Notoriously Shitty Movie “The Room” by The Mysterious Tommy Wiseau.

“The Room” has been called by many The Worst Movie EVER MADE!

“The Room” had Movie Theaters posting “NO REFUNDS FOR THIS MOVIE” posters!

“The Room” One Critic’s Review Read “Watching This Movie is like Stabbing Yourself in the Brain REPEATEDLY!”

COME ONE, COME ALL Join us in the Rising Cult Following of Wiseau and “The Room”

Those were the ones we selected. Perhaps one day We will do this again, but Dunno.

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober

Textpocalypse

More middle of the night synaptic storms rolling through the maze like minds of SpaceDog and Myself. Here is the abominable textversation that took place while the rest of the World Slept.

Enjoy.

(If you Read Further You May Have to EAT your own ASS to Survive.)

SpcaeDog: I wanted to ask you about sports bets but im clearly not being too persistent since you dont like sports

Les: Hey let me hit you up in a few. At post office trying to get my passassport updated and shit. Taking waaaaay too long in my opinion. I find Sports betting very interesting.

SpaceDog: Look at u ihop hooker I will be ur bookie lmfao

+SpaceDog texts me a picture on images.google of a Tennis Player who ass he is a fan of, and was wondering if I or my Wife had 2 cents to add. I said if I had an ass like that I’d be better at soccer. My Wife is not an “Ass Person” we were informed.+

+I sent back a Screen Shot I took of Twitter’s fucking Template Warning that my account had been locked, and because I “exhibited unusual behavior that violates Twitter Rules……”+

+I then sent a picture of Alex “Asshole” Jones because while all other social media platforms (i.e. FaceBook, Apple etc) banned Alex and his bullshit Infowhores Show (for promoting hate, encouraging violence, promoting fake news, spreading conspiracies like Sandy Hook was a Hoax and the Kids weren’t victim’s they were paid child actors) Twitter refused at that point to Ban Jones.

Ironically since then Twitter has banned Jones from Twitter and Periscope which it owns, ONLY AFTER ALEX HARASSED THE HOLY LOVING SHIT out of Twitter’s CEO Jack Dorsey outside of the Senate Hearing proceedings screaming shit like the mental patient he is about whatever bullshit was on his deranged mind.+

Fuck Alex “The Asshole Jerk Off” Jones, BACK TO THE MAFUCKIN TWEETS!

SpaceDog: Here’s a song for you! My My My! by Troyne Sivian. (SD then texted a Spotify Link to the song) Mac Miller died omg

Les: So did Burt Reynolds any relation to Ryan?! Who’s Mac Miller? Charging Landline, cell is cutting in and out like a bitch.

SpaceDog: Mac Miller omg lol there was gonna be a link but yolo lol

Les: I have all of his albums downloaded on my Spotify Account. 26.

SpaceDog: Yo i need to ask u who just drove me around here lol

Les: Yo Shorty yo knows who dat

SpaceDog: U knows my piece

Les: I been break dancing old school 80’s as a tribute to Mac Miller

SpaceDog: U know it might not be that bad. you were the best i ever had

Les: The Wallflowers yeah?

SpaceDog: Lmfao good man

Les: JACOB “SPERM OF BOB” DILLIAN (Dylan?) Whatever.

SPaceDog: Sperm of the last rock n roll mouth that had a good cock come out. Call job away.

+SpaceDog then texts me a picture of Frosty The Snowman sitting on a couch watching porn, and jerking off. It said “Dreaming of a White Christmas”+

+I then texted SpaceDog This: +

SpaceDog: Sry I hit wrong hate.

+I responded by sending SpaceDog a GIF of an Old Pissed Off Cartoon Man, Naked, Partially Flying-Partially Humping his way through Space with a Pop Tart covering his Junk and a Rainbow Shooting Continuously Shooting out of his ass.+

(NOTE TO READER: Earlier on in the evening during a phone call with SpaceDog I had mentioned some weird shit about when I turn 80 I’m going to automatically Gay.)

Les: Me at 80 and Gay as FUCK.

SpaceDog: Lol holy shit shit

Les: I had to buy this shit called Itchibon Ball Baum cuz I was shitting in the Woods, and my Ball Bag rubbed up against some poison Oak. Greeeeaaaaseeeeyyyy.

SpaceDog: Xid rt y. Urdy. Dirty Birdy lol. Id love to write an f-yourblog about racial bullshit but idc because he white and been dead to me for 10 yeses.

Les: So fucking what about it? I’m confused as fuck currently. When I was shitting in the Woods a Group of Ticks crawled up my Ass Crack and started feeding by locking onto my Asshole. I had to floss my ass with a Pet Anti-Flea and Tick Collar.

SpaceDog: Ihj my my my

Less: Like a fucking Pesticide G String or some fucked up shit like that!

SpaceDog: Here’s a song for you…My My My! by Troye Sivan (SpaceDog texts me the Spotify link again)

Les: Got Chemical Burns on my goddamn butthole.

SpaceDog: Whyis tour. Utthile top 10 (SpaceDOg then texts a screen shot from Spotify’s screen for Sivan’s My My My)

Les: Sexy Shit. Gave me a boner, I’m gay now.

SpaceDog: oh babe sned me a forever stiff latex cocks its what us lesbos have. Lol huh?

Les: So Good, FO SHO FO SHO

SpaceDog: Oh have the gay i will have the cock

Les: FUCKING SPORTS! GO GAMECOCKS or just GO COCKS!

SpaceDog: The only games you Sout Cacalacy know are the ones your cock play with ur anus. Go Auburn. ok danny boy haha

Les: Why are Chaos Magicians Such Assholes? Goddamn Google has an entry that fucking literally says that shit. WTF now Internet WTF NOW?!

+I then texted SpaceDog a Picture of a close up of some Woman lifting her skirt with a smiling Justin Beiber face covering her Vagina that reads “Justin Beaver+

SpaceDog: The only woman that hate u sing so lets swim into the show of ivy and let our rel3vquce ring.

Les: Justin Bieber bangs Bovines dirty Cow Fucker

SpaceDog: Thats it my boy thats it my friend we sing this song to ivy she falls to her end.

Les: S-A-V-A-G-E …Ivy what?!

SpaceDog: I tried to call with these words to see if your ivied face had been preserved but you werent my lover not my friend she’d killed you lil your dead heart bled.

Les: Rad

SpaceDog:Oh the south she bleeds icy gets at her kneeeeeees

Les: LmMfao!

SpaceDog: Song just crazy. Raised by far and praise by 5A breeze by 5555555 a brace by for a for Raid 5 hey Girl. Sorry our butter and our jam is getting confused i just my putang tout u in the rouse.

Hey u want a q better choice. Bye. I hope u like your life lol wherever he stands our truth is ib my text. Mohammed my friend my bot and jbow jt eas a girl…vack in Bethlehem bye love.

Les: I’m so using this shit as a blog post coming up soon for fucking sure. Abortions all Around. Muhammad is a Bot LMFBO! CLASSIC!

SpaceDog: Its a sham

Les: Sham Wow?

SpaceDog: Shaw wow cocaine teenage dream. Brooklynn bo ram Botox baby boom boomer. No seems….

#This is the point in the textversation where I think its safe to assume our Dear Friend and My Partner in Crime more than likely passed out.

My brain was still on fire so I just continued on.

Les:Sham Wow Hookers AND Cocaine Baby! The Ball Baum came in contact with the Chemical Burns on my butthole ant it spontaneously Combusted, and now I have 3rd degree burns on my asshole.

Ancient Chinese Proverb: Man who sleeps with itchy ass wakes up with stinky finger.

A round of Finger Fucking for All. Can you fuck a Prolapsed asshole because that shit should be a fucking porn fetish/YouPorn Category. WTF is up with this Docking shit anyways?!

I was wiping my ass and my finger broke through the toilet paper and the tip of my finger grazed my asshole, does that make me gay?!

If your gay and horny and there only women around why not just fuck one in the ass?!

Is Necro Cannibalism better or worse than Necrophilia?! For NEcrophiliacs are Zombies a Deal Breaker?! Just when it comes to NEcrophiliacs the Deader the Better right. Zombie Babies don’t want to suckle your teat they want to EAT IT.

Giving Birth is like the fucking movie “Aliens” a small, bloody, slime covered living creature tears out of your genitals screaming like a son of a bitch. But worse because of the whole genitals over stomach shit.

If I’m Self Employed can I sue myself for Sexual Harassment?! What if you got a restraining order against yourself, I mean how would that shit work exactly I ask you?!

AT this point I was running on intoxicated fumes and quite texting in favor of Smoking Weed and then Sleep.

Brought to You By,

Les Sober & SpaceDog

Some Dicks Should Go By Richard

The name game can be totally insane as real life triumphs over fiction. So what I have done is compiled 72 different ACTUAL REAL LIFE PEOPLE WHO GO BY DICK who due to their last name should REALLY reconsider going by their full name. And if you feel compelled to use a nickname all I’m saying is sometimes its far better being a Rich than being a Dick.

And without further ado here the names.

Dick Gore – Dick Mann – Dick Pickler – Dick Stroker – Dick Butts

Dick Pound – Dick Trickle – Major Dick Head – Dick Kock- Dick Shiner

Dick Monster – Dick L. Ong – Dick Swett – Dick Paradise – Dick Felt

Dick Assman – Dick Hurtz – Dick Smalley – Dick Payne – Dick Champion

Dick Mountjoy – Dick Funk – Dr. Dick Chopp – Dick Pole – Dick Armey

Dick Passwater – Dick Coffee – Dick Burger – Dick Blood – Dick Colon

Dick Gamble – Dick Hart – Dick Tips – Dick Long – Dick Weiner- Dick Tips

Dick Raper – Dick Tiny – Dick Blight – Dick Cockburn – Dick Thrasher

Dick Likeness – Dick Hunter – Dick Bonar- Dick Graber – Dick Buttram

Dick Willie – Dick Dover – Dick Kuntz – Dick Sharts – Dick Worthy

Dick Shocker – Dick Dickey – Dick Rich – Dick Butkus – Dick Baals

Dick Babcock – Dick Guzlar – Dick Lipschidts – Dick Boehner – Dick Harden

Dick Dickie – Dick Johnson – Dick Cox – Dick Dumas – Dick Cummings

Dick Love – Dick Held – Dick Fister – Dick Krapps – Dick Swallows

Dick Moorehead, AND THE BEST OF THE WORST…Dick Dong Wang!

So When It Comes To Last Names Sometimes It PaysNot To Be A Dick.

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober

The Mentors: The Juvenile Joke of the Underground

This post is to address the fun fact that through all my manic musical tastes that there has never been a single mention of the band The Mentors, and thats because they’re not a band their actually a fucking joke.

The Mentors are the equivalent of a group of High School Freshmen Boys lingering around a Basement deliberately trying to write the most shocking lyrics purely for shock’s sake (unlike GG Allin who was fucked up yes, but he had a message and a mission behind his violent and obscene music)

And like a bunch of puberty ridden teenage boys The Mentors only have one subject matter when it comes to their music and its simply Sex. They’re Rock’s answer to 2 Live Crew (who also faded away fast because no one wants to hear numerous albums that solely relied on sexually explicit and often laughable lyrics over shitty beats)

The Mentors are best described as if the World’s shittiest GG Allin Impersonator, and the World’s shittiest Gwar cover band took an insane amount of LSD, Banged Each other , and collectively gave birth a severely mentally disabled child known as The Mentors.

The biggest failure of The Mentors (other than being sub par musicians and crappy lyricists) is in their DESPERATE ATTEMPTS to try and Shock People, and make them think shit like “Oh My God! Who is this disgusting band obsessed with Sex?!”

To sum up The Mentors failure the bottom line is just one word: OVERKILL.

The Mentors employed several cliche gimmicks to achieve their goal of Shocking the Audience and Revolting Society such as :

The Mentors became a self proclaimed Porno Rock Band (Punk mixed with some Heavy Metal)

To help back up their Porn Rock Creation The Mentors Drummer (there were a few) would plaster his entire Drum Kit with Pictures of Naked Chicks cut out of Porn Magazines.

The Mentors Song Titles are as absurdly immature as their laughable lyrics with Song Titles like:

Secretary Hump, Shocked and Grossed, On The Rag, My Erection Is Over, White Trash Woman, Service Me Or Be Smacked, Kings Of Sleaze, Donkey Dick, Clap Queen, Herpes Two, In And Out Of You, Couch Test Casting, Heterosexuals Have The Right To Rock, and Wine You, Dine You, Sixty Nine You.

At some point in the early 1990’s The Mentors rebranded their self proclaimed Porn Rock musical style to Rape Rock. This was simply cheap schtick used to ramp up the offensive factor in the most obvious and cliche manner.

The Mentors adopted Stage Names as moronically immature as their shitty music and here they are:

Original Line up was: Eric Carlson ( Sickie Wifebeater) on guitar, Steve Broy ( Dr. Heathen Scum) on bass, and Eldon Hoke ( El Duce) on drums and Vocals.

Due to his severe and chronic alcoholism Hoke eventually couldn’t play drums and sing at the same time so he ended sole as Singer. Hoke died in 1997 walking intoxicated along some train tracks.

The Current Lame Line Up is still Carlson and Broy along with Rick Lomas (Insect On Acid) who joined in 2014 as Background Vocals. There is also Cousin Fister (real name not given) on guitar, John Christopher ( El Chapo) joined as drummer in 2014, and lastly Don Nutz ( The Italian Stallion) who joined in 2015 as drummer for European Tours as well as Long U.S. Tours.

Past Members Include: Zippy on bass 1988-1989, Clark Savage ( Mossedick) on drums from 1991-2008), Sickie Jr on rhythm guitar, El Rapo on vocals (2001-2005), Marc D (Mad Dog Duce) on vocals (2005-2014) and on drums from 2008 to 2014, Chris Jacobson ( Jack Shit) on bass in 1980; died 2011, Mike Dewey (Heathen Scum Wezda) on bass 19080-1987, and Ed Danky (Poppa Sneaky Spermshooter ) on bass 1986-1987; died 1990.

The band is better known for their off stage antics than any fucking shit song they wrote. The 3 most know things/incidents The Mentors are actually known for (not their toilet rock)

Number 1 : No one even had a single goddamn clue who The Mentors were until 1985 (which was 9 fucking years after the forming of The Mentors) In 1985 there were Congressional hearings run by Tipper Gore’s Parents Music Resource Center (PMRC). The PMRC’s attention had been caught by an extremely obscure Mentor’s song called “Golden Shower”.

The lyrics for “Golden Shower” ended having excerpts of it being read on the Congressional floor where they were received not by shocked gasps, BUT rather by Outbreaks of Uncontrollable Laughter.

One of the Excerpts from The Mentor’s song “Golden Shower” is as follows

“Bend up and smell my anal vapor,

Your face is my toilet paper…..

Our relationship I don’t want to spoil it,

You are my personal toilet……

It’s getting near the hour,

On your face I leave a shit tower,

Shit Tower, prune skin power,

Smelling’ sour, it’s the Shit Tower,

Golden Showers”

Number Two: The Mentors were featured on Jerry Springer in the early 1990’s (the heyday of daytime talk shows when they ruled the airwaves) as part of an episode on Shock Rock Acts.

While interviewed the band members did everything in their fucking power to offend, insult, or yes shock the studio audience. They claimed to own professional Gimps, Actual Sex Slaves, are pro Drugs, Pro Unsafe Sex, embrace STDS as badges of honor, humiliate and abuse their fans, and see nothing wrong with raping everyone in the entire world or some stupid shit like that.

The Controversy from their appearance on Jerry Springer garnered The Mentors some well needed attention.

I must remind the reader that The Mentors got a bit of notoriety from the bullshit they spewed on show, NOT THEIR MUSIC.

NUMBER THREE: AND NOTABLY THE THING THE MENTORS ARE KNOW FOR had nothing to do with the Band or their crappy music. The Mentors lead singer (Hoke had stopped playing drums as well as singing due to his raging alcoholism) was in a 1997 Documentary Film about the death of Nirvana Lead Singer Kurt Cobain called ‘Kurt and Courtney”

The Film dealt with Kurt Cobain’s unfortunate suicide. Many fans believed that the singers death wasn’t a suicide at all, but a homicide staged to look like one. Also many people believed not only was it murder they believed it was a murder for hire where the killer was contracted by no other than Kurt’s wife Courtney Love.

NOW this is were Hoke comes into the story. Hoke had repeatedly made the claim that Courtney Love offered him $25,000 to kill Kurt. The amount changed a bit over time and telling to $50,000 for the murder.

Hoke again made the claim of Love offering him cash to kill her husband Kurt Cobain on camera in the Documentary. Shortly after the filming Hoke was died while walking intoxicated on train tracks where he was hit and killed by a Freight Train.

I’m sure you can see where this going, but for shits and giggles most Mentor fans believe Hoke was murdered. Hoke’s death was officially ruled alternately an Accident and a Suicide by the authorities.

Yet most fans assume Hoke himself was murdered by someone hired by Courtney Love to shut Hoke up once and for all thus feeding into the conspiracy theory within a conspiracy theory. AGAIN THIS HAD NOTHING TO DUE WITH THE BAND’S MUSIC.

I will end this piece with proof that I adhere to the belief that one must give credit where credit is due. I have to give credit here the ONE thing The Mentors did/do thats not dumb as fuck is their idea/concept of wearing Medieval Executioner Masks, thats kind of dope.

All is All though The Mentors are still a Lame Ass Joke.

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober

More Musical Mayhem & Madness

By now I think its safe to assume readers might have picked up on my fondness for Unconventional and Unorthodox Bands/Artists.

Some of those said Bands/Artists are:

GG Allin (Who was backed by numerous Bands and in various Bands)

Anul Cunt (Abbreviated AxCx)

Fuck The Facts

The Murder Junkies (The last Band to back GG Allin, BUT they are and always were their own separate entity)

Fuck I’m Dead (Previously Fuck…I’m Dead)

Now a couple of readers have asked if it was a mistake or an oversight that the band The Mentors are not listed, and IT’S NOT. I most definitely left them OFF THE LIST. I digress as the reason I left The Mentors of said list will be an upcoming post.

It has come to My attention that the only one who’s ever been acknowledged here at f-yourblog is GG Allin (Sometimes Pictures with Members or all of The Murder Junkies)

AND SO…..

I have decided the next Band Worthy of Mention is the Heavy Metal Punk Trio from Detroit Michigan.

AND NOW Ladies & Gentlemen I give you None Other than…..

(Which is no real surprise as I’ve peppered posts with Pictures featuring Shitfucker for quite some time now, and honestly thats why their the next to get their own post.)

I picked songs of Shitfucker’s Album “Suck Cocks In Hell” to Showcase Their Lyrical Style..

The 3 songs I picked are:

“Go To Hell”, “Smash Your Skull (Against The Wall)”, and “Demonic Rock”

Enjoy.

“Go To Hell” by Shitfucker:

It’s never too hot for Leather

Unless its too fucking hot

Trapped in the eyes of thy Neighbor

Infernal Mother of Death

She chokes on the smoke of our unholy tokes

Through the hole in her throat

She stares through my window

and stands on my lawn

You can’t understand her

because she speaks in daemonic tongues

Trapped in a glance with the Living Corpse

That lives Next Door

Chorus: Go to Hell, Go to Hell, Go To Hell, Hell, Hell

Play it loud, Play on Ten

Play it so you wake The Dead

I have awakened the Mother of the Reaper

Who has unleashed the Darkness Fever

Through my brain, down the drain

to The Pits with No Name

Where the most rotten pieces of shit

Finally go Insane…Go to Hell

-Chorus-

Uoy Lorthoc I, Me Lortnoc T’Nod Uoy*

(*And I have not a clue wtf that means so don’t bother to ask.)

“Smash Your Skull (Against The Wall)” by Shitfucker:

Masturbate upon the Alter

Unto Sigil Baphomet

Take my cum and energy

to Crush my Enemies

Putrefy the Putrid

The Filth and Walking Shit

Leave them Dead

And Rotting in the Earth

I want to cut and rip my sjin

And watch the blood start to begin

to drip into the cup from which I sip

Imagine your Death and I start to trip

Chorus: Smash Your Skull Against

Smash Your Skull Against The Wall

I collect the pieces of your skull

and scrape the brains right off the bone

I pack them deep into my bowl

Inhale and Reap your fucking Soul

Trample the weak under our chariots of steel

Crush thy Enemy with the Spirit of Metal

Bash the Bastards with the butt end of your sword

Leave him to rot in the humiliation of Himself

I throw this Curse with No Remorse

To the Death of my Enemies I shall rejoice

Smash your skull against the wall

Turn into a Spider

Away I Crawl

-Chorus-

“Demonic Rock” by Shitfucker:

Going to the Show to play out of control daemonic Rock’n Roll

All I need is a Bag of Weed and some Acid please

But we ain’t got no money ain’t got no ride out

But when we arrive it will be time to get

WASTED DAEMONIC ROCK

WASTED THE LAST ONES UP

It swirls magnificently I have held court with The Acid King

I have met The Rainbow Wizard and The Dark Lady

Messaged my bones

Daemonic Rock suck my cock

Detroit Metal Punks we do not give a fuck

Roll up we pull up all of us show up and the Natives throw up

Baldy says no he says we got to go we had to sleep in the Forrest

Fuck your pretty Town we will burn this City down

When we get back to the Wasteland it will be time to get

WASTED DAEMONIC ROCK

WASTED THE LAST DROP

I have seen the Light and its out of Sight

Do you know what its like to be dead it feels Alright!

They are whispering to me Deadly Visions flash constantly

Body Parts scattered amongst my room

Make good decorations for Halloween

Daemonic Rock suck my cock

Detroit Metal Punks We do Not give a Fuck

Fuck You you bet your Motherfucking Ass.

So thats all for now Kiddies.

STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT WHY THE MENTORS SUCK ASTRONOMICAL ASS Coming Up Next Here on f-yourblog

Orchestrated by Les Sober

Who Said Fucking W/ People Isn’t a Hobby?!

I (Les Sober) was texting with SpaceDog today and scrounged up an old Textversation he had one night when he was a bit drunk, board, and rather creative. So SpaceDog decided to fuck with a complete Stranger via Text to entertain himself.

SpaceDog has sent me a copy of said Textversation and……

Now Ladies and Gentlemen For your Entertainment I Give You That Very Textversation!!!

Stranger: who is this? why are you calling me at 2:30 in the morning?

SPACEDOG: I was calling in for a refill. I didn’t know you offered text messaging. I need a refill on the compact Cath. Can I get them in the 90 pack please? They run out a lot quicker than I thought.

Stranger: no i am not Gina. i suggest you stop texting me i ask you nicely now i am not your Viagra store, your cath company or senior center

SPACEDOG: My last Catheter broke and it was an bit of an emergency This is the number Gina gave me down at the senior center. She also told me you can help with my Viagra too. Damn stiffy aint working too good.How soon can you have this stuff sent out to me? I have a po box at zip code 18103, Po box #4827

Stranger: can’t you read i said i am not who you are looking for. what does that even mean? I have no idea who you are or what you want? how do you know me?

SPACEDOG: Be a nice boy they are the things that go on my cobra so i can tinkle in my bed and when i go to the Sands I can go right at the black jack table. How much is the refill on my Viagra? Only need 5 of those my lady friend is coming up from texas.

Stranger: well the clearly you can’t read your own writing sounds like you need to dial 1 800 Gambling problem

SPACEDOG: I got a problem with my old pecker 🙁 i only gamble with the money my daughter Bridget gives me. I’m not so sure what my writing has to do with this. Is that you Gina?

Stranger: are you drunk?

SPACEDOG: Only drunk on the lust i have for life. Is there a shipping fee? The last caths cost me 9.95 for shipping but they gave me a discount for my hip. It’s not real. Shhhhh don’t you be telling my lady friend.

Stranger: is this Jimmy! how you get my number

SPACEDOG: I told you Gina down at the center gave me your number. Gina Gershon. Said you can help with what ails me but i had no idea you are ailing . How was I to know? Im just a lonely old man who needs his Caths. Only thing that’s wrong with me is my teeth fall out sometimes when i get all giddy.

Stranger: well as i told you you have the wrong # i don’t know any of those people.

SPACEDOG: (555)321-7654 Sometimes she goes by the name molly. Well one time she told me her drifter name was peggy. What a wild one that Gina. How much is the shipping costs and how do i pay you? My granddaughter has me on paypal and i got my check book here. Do I need insurance? My name is Tyler Durden policy #627HG269ZBT889NJLA990555FL0101001

Stranger: I am sorry you have the wrong #! this is a personal # and i am starting to get frustrated with this conversation. its rude you text me at 2:30 in the morning.

SPACEDOG: But my last Catheter broke and it was an bit of an emergency This is the number Gina gave me down at the senior center. Listen here sonny you shouldn’t have your ringer on if it’s that late and you aren’t doing refills.

Stranger: is this Jimmy from NY?

SPACEDOG: This is Tyler from foglsville

Stranger: i don’t know a Tyler?

SPACEDOG: Who is this Jimmy you speak of? Is that your barracuda? I haven’t been to NY in so long. My lady friend and i used to see all them shows, had ourselves a fine gay old time.

Stranger: alright i am having rough day right now either tell me how you got this number or know me or fuck off. i just lost someone very close to me and i have been trying to be nice but i am not in the mood for your games

SPACEDOG: Well Gina told me this is the spot. We are getting off track, i need 90 Caths, 5 boner pills and gina told me you got the tina too. Said its gonna pep up step whatever that means. I’m 87 not much pep to step.

Stranger: What are you talking about. i just had a death in my family. What is wrong with you?

SPACEDOG: Since you don’t seem to be doing much about helping me get my new Caths perhaps I can get a discount on the ones the old dead guys doesn’t need anymore. Do you offer a discount for recycling deceased patients medical devices and if so how much of a discount? 50% off sounds like a good deal to me.

Its finally at this point the Stranger realizes that they don’t have to respond just because their being texted in the first place. And only by responding would the Stranger reengage SpaceDog’s Senile Old Man’s Ranting.

See to me thats the funniest fucking thing about this situation that the Stranger doesn’t want to deal with the bullshit, BUT keeps perpetuating the very conversation they don’t want to be in in the first place. Its like trying to put a Fire out by pissing Gasoline on it.