Just to clarify a few things. First Pennington is a real place. I will NOT disclose anymore than that when it comes to its Geographical Location. If anyone thinks it may be an accidental slip that I’m using an actual name of a Place it is Not. If anyone still thinks I might have divulged a piece of Personal Info I welcome those Readers to go Google Pennington. And Good Luck with that.
Pennington falls in the confines of Spacedog and My old stomping ground and as You can see by the title We don’t hold it in high regard. So one night around 2am SpaceDog and I started a Duel Slam Session featuring Pennington as Our subject matter.
Alright the set up is “Pennington is SO Shitty…” followed by an Insult at Pennington’s Expense. It’s Their fault really for being so Ungodly Shitty.
This Post is laid out a bit differently from the previous Text Posts. I will write the set up once at the beginning, and then use Dot Dot Dot (…) so I don’t have to write (and You won’t have to Read) “Pennington is so shitty” god knows how many fucking times.
LASTLY IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED PLEASE READ ANOTHER ONE OF OUR POSTS AND SKIP THIS ONE. You’ll be doing Us BOTH a Favor.
SpaceDog: Holy shit that’s small. Damn shitty ass little Pennington has like 1000 times more people.
Les: True but Pennington is Cunty.
SpaceDog: Pennington…the town so shitty that even Priests say fuck these assholes.
Les: Pennington is so shitty :FBF (a girl both SpaceDog and I knew) wouldn’t have an abortion there…
…Trump wouldn’t grab a pussy there.
…Courtney Love wouldn’t OD there.
SpaceDog: U on a roll LOL. Pennington is so shitty the pull people over for smoking cigarettes in their vehicles. I’m braindead so u get shitty facts from me at this point LOL.
Les: Pennington is so shitty Yen Latch (Yet another Girl both of Us knew who is now a white trash alcoholic) wouldn’t drink there…
… Ivy Savage couldn’t handle it. (Ivy is yes another Female SpaceDog and I have both had the distinct displeasure of knowing who fancied herself the LOCAL HARDCORE PUNK ROCK AUTHORITY)
SpaceDog: Pennington is so shitty Ivy Savage uses her real name there.
Les: Pennington is so shitty Steve Bannon wouldn’t host a White Nationalist Nazi Rally there.
SpaceDog: Pennington is so shitty aunt becky wouldn’t pay bribes to get her kid into collage there.
Les: LOL You out Ivy’d me. Pennington is so shitty Sarah Sanders WOULD go there.
SpaceDog: Penningto n is so shitty sarah sanders would tell the truth there.
Les: Pennington is so shitty Octomom wouldn’t strip there.
SpaceDog: Pennington is so shitty that if trump wanted to build a wall around it Mexico WOULD pay for it…
…Their official mascot is a suicide victim.
Les: Pennington is so shitty Crack Dealers won’t deal there…
… it makes Wilmington Delaware look like Las Vegas.
… the Residents only Birth Control method needed is the fact they live in Pennington.
SpaceDog: Pennington is so shitty it makes lituspjotaholmaflogur look properly spelled.
Les: Pennington is so shitty Lindsey Graham wouldn’t rape a Farm Animal there.
SpaceDog: Pennington is so shitty micheal jackson doesn’t molest boys there.
Yeah duh late…food coma which never would have happened in Pennington…mostly because people bottom out there.
Pennington is so shitty I’ve never eaten there.
Les: Pennington is so shitty Jeffery Epstein wouldn’t traffic underage Sex Slaves there…
…Crack Whores avoid it like a Police Station.
…You call the Cops there and they tell you to go get fucked.
… It’s Tucker Carlson’s Home Town.
…Fox News won’t broadcast there.
SpaceDog: Pennington is so shitty don jr is moving there.
Les:Pennington is so shitty Fred Phelps wouldn’t be buried there…
… All They Eat is Ass.
SpaceDog:Pennington is so shitty karen carpenter WOULD eat there…
…That all movies depicting suicide are required to play there.
Les: Pennington is so shitty it smells like a fucking manure fire…
…Dogs won’t piss on their Fire Hydrants .
…It’s like living in a massive Port-A-Potty 24 fucking 7.
…”Pennington is so shitty” it’s abbreviated is PISS.
SpaceDog: Pennington is so shitty they’re opening a new kmart there…
…Their idea of a breakfast buffet is a albino midget throwing egg yolks at people.
Les: Pennington is so shitty They use Diarrhea as Lube.
SpaceDog: Pennington is so shitty the only available birth control is thoughts and prayers.
Les: Pennington is so shitty GG Allin wouldn’t play there.
SpaceDog: Pennington is so shitty that mass shooters wind up putting the first bullet in their own heads.
Les: Pennington is so shitty Their idea of Fine Dining is GAs Station Sushi and a Bottle of Maddog 20/20.
SpaceDog: Pennington is so shitty their surf and turf special is someone’s goldfish and a whopper junior.
Les: Pennington is so shitty Their idea of a Vacation is living inTheir Cars at Highway Rest Stops…
…Truckers don’t hook up with the local Lot Lizards.
…No One builds Meth Labs there.
…They’re still listening to Limp Bizkit.
… Their Little League Team is the Pennington Shitheals.
SpaceDog:Pennington is so shitty Dick Minninninninninn (a world class fuckwit We both knew) moved there for a year and left looking like this *Picture of Prolapsed Asshole Sent*…
…Their official yule log is just a giant horse shit.
Les: Well the ugly fucker deserved it the unwiped asshole. Pennington is so shitty it’s the Fruit Cake of Towns…
…Will make You chronically Constipated.
…It’s the Birth Place of IBS.
SpaceDog: Pennington is so shitty even rats won’t live there.
Les: Pennington is so shitty its mascot is a fucking Dung Beatle…
…It’s official Flag is just a Giant Asshole.
SpaceDog: Pennington is so shitty that the only trendy resident there is inflatable…
…Its were vegans go to die.
…it will give you toxic fucking shock syndrome.
Les: Pennington is so shitty Tyler Perry shoots Medea movies there.
…Kid Rock is Their fucking Home Town Hero.
…Their Prom theme was The Solid Waste Authority.
SpaceDog: Pennington is so shitty that steve harvey would be their least fucking annoying resident.
Les: Pennington is so shitty Slumber Hills (a Flea Bag Flop House for Whores and Junkies in SpaceDog and My home town) wouldn’t move there…
…They gave Howie Mandel the Key to the City.
…Dave Coulier Shows Sell Out.
…Scammers from India won’t call there.
SpaceDog: Pennington is so shitty that when oprah shot there her book of the month was just a roll of toilet paper…
…That when bad people die they don’t go to hell they spend fucking eternity in Pennington.
Les: Pennington is so shitty all the Photos hung in Local Business like Restaurants and Laundry Mats are of the Cast of The Jersey Shore…
…Their Hospital is a CVS Minute Clinic.
…It hosts an Annual Hemorrhoid Festival.
SpaceDog: Pennington is so shitty women living there consider being called a cunt a compliment.
Les: Pennington is so shitty They still use AOL…
…It has the Highest concentration of Proctologists in the entire fucking Country.
…North Korea feels bad for it.
SpaceDog: Pennington is so shitty their idea of a terrific fucking tv show is God Friended Me…
…Toilet Paper is considered a luxury item.
Les: Pennington is so shitty when You turn the faucet on Natty Ice Light comes out…
…STDs are afraid They’ll catch something.
SpaceDog: Pennington is so shitty it’s illegal to smoke anything except PCP…
…Bill Cosby gets consent there.
Les: Pennington is so shitty the only Cell Phone Service Provider is fucking Sprint…
…Their Baseball Team is Sponsored by The National Flakka Alliance.
…ISIS wouldn’t send a Suicide Bomber there.
…They take Bath Salts and Eat Their own Faces.
PENNINGTON IS SO SHITTY WE CAN’T TALK SHIT ABOUT IT ANYMORE.
Brought To You By,
Les Sober
SpaceDog