Tag: American politics

What America Needs Is A Second Revolution.

Have You ever had Something or Someone who is REALLY Pissing You Off, and You tell Yourself You won’t let it get to You in the End the Anger Wins?! I believe We have all been there at Least Once in Our Lives Regardless. With that said My Id is RAGING like a True Motherfucker that is Slamming around in My Skull like a fucking Wrecking Ball. So in True Writer Form I am going to Write some of the Enraged Insanity Out of My Head before it fucking Explodes.

The GOP is DEAD replaced by the Orange Asshole’s GQP which is Far More fucking Corrupt and Crazy than the GOP ever was (and thats saying a lot. An Actual Shit Ton to be Exact). Now that the Orange Assclown is Out of Office the GQP remains to be Dealt with as They Exploit the Quickly Increasing Wealth Inequality to Manipulate Americans into Submission. The Answer is Simple America needs a Second Revolution to Free Its People from the Billionaire Tyrant Scum.

In My Opinion the GOP started to Corrode into the Horrendous Bullshit Sideshow it is now Started in 1980 with fucking GOP Personified Ronnie Regan. Seriously We went from a fucking Shitty Two Bit B List Actor to a Failed Businessman Reality Show Wannabe Dictator. That sums up the GOP in a fucking NutShell. The last Four Years under the Orange Asshole the Vail of Conservative American Values the GOP used to disguise itself has been lifted. The Orange Asshole has a Self Destructive Component that caused His Stupid Ass to Reveal all of the GOP’s Sick and Twisted Tactics. Not Only that but He Championed The GOP’s Dark Agenda to Dominate America as the Ruling Class to Anyone Who’d Listen. Like the World’s Shittiest Magician the Orange Asshole explained all His Magic Tricks obliterating the Illusion that Magic just might be real (killing the Experience for the Audience).

                  

The Key to the Disgusting GOP’s Quest for Ultimate Control comes directly from the Power Their Obscene Bank Accounts Afford Them. The GOP have used Their Filthy Blood Money made on the Backs of The American People to Buy and Sell Republican Politicians. Thus if You have the Cash and are corrupt as these fucks You can Buy Political Power allowing the GOP to Serve Only Themselves. As long as the Republican Ratfucks can live in the Lap of Luxury will all the Best Available to Them then FUCK EVERYONE ELSE. The GOP only care about the GOP period. The Problem with this is How to Keep in Power? The GOP have been spending BILLIONS over the Years to do Their Damndest to make Sure American’s are Poor Enough that They can’t Stand Up the the GOP. The End Game is to Plunge American’s into Poverty to Keep American’s Struggling Financially just to Get By.

So The GOP raise Taxes on the Poor to, and Fight to keep the Minimum Wage as Low as Possible to insure They STAY POOR since being Poor is a SERIOUS FUCKING DISADVANTAGE.. That way as the Cost of Living, Education, and Healthcare Increase and American’s Pay Doesn’t then in the End the GOP would become the Ruling Class. American Citizens would be Reduced to Financial Slaves and Indentured Servants. They’d spend Their lives Suffering just to keep these crooked cunts comfortable in their Multi Million Dollar Mansions and Do Their Bidding. The GOP wants the American People to Open the fuck Up and Eat whatever Shit Sandwich They want to Feed US and Not do a damn thing about it.

                    

Cut Americans Access to Healthcare so They struggle to Afford Doctors/Medication because if Your Sick or Dying You don’t have Time to Challenge the GOP wannabe Overlords. Also Plenty of Republicans have MAJOR Financial Stakes in Pharmaceuticals so They get Rich making Sick People Suffer NEEDLESSLY just so They can Stay Rich and Powerful. Remember these Elitist Republican Assfucks have More Money than God so They can Afford the Best Medical Care There is.

Then The GOP toys to make Public Education as Shitty as Possible while Raising Tuitions to Private Schools and Collages. This is to try to keep the American People Dumb as Fuck because Stupid People aren’t Smart Enough to Realize Their getting fucked over constantly by the GOP. Also Dumbfuck Dipshit Don’t think for Themselves They are more like Cattle They do want Their Told without Question or Challenge to the Farm in Control if You will. Uneducated Assholes also are Hindered even if some of Them realize what the fuck is going on because Moronic Motherfuckers are hard to Organize into a Viable Threat to the GOP’s Quest for Superiority.

Lastly the GOP scumfuckers have been working on for YEARS as well in Their attempt to make Americans Serve Them and that lies with Women. Ever fucking wonder why Half of the GOP seem scarred of Women and the Other Half are Rapists and Child Molesters? To in effect control Women the GOP has made sure Women don’t get Equal Pay again putting Them in a Financial Based Disadvantage. They Also Push Their Pro-Life Agenda on Women having the fucking balls to claim They dictate what a Woman can do with HER OWN FUCKING BODY. HOW SICK IS THAT? Twisted GOP Fucks.

As You can See the GOP uses Their Vast Wealth to Rig the System against the Very fucking American’s that VOTED THEIR FUCKING ASSES INTO OFFICE IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE. The Answer as I said is Simple America must Unite and Rise up Against the Wealthy 1% that effectively Own America. First of All We Freeze Their Bank Accounts and Size All Their Assets Immediately. Without Their Vast Fortunes We would Cut Their Power/Influence Off at the fucking Knees because without it Their Utterly Helpless. Secondly We Sell Off ALL of Their Assets and Donate ALL PROCEEDS to Charities across the Board. The Third and Last Step We Drain every goddamn Dime from Every/All of Their Bank Accounts, and Cash in ALL of Their Investments and Drain Their Portfolios Dry as Death fucking Valley. We then take the Money and Put it Directly into Government Programs to Benefit Americans on Every Level like Education, Infrastructure, Hospitals, Employment Programs, Scientific Research Etc. So when its all Said and Done We leave these Criminal Pieces of Republican Crap with NOTHING not even the Clothes on Their Backs. Leave Them sitting on the fucking Curb Naked, Broke, and with NO Advantages of Wealth.

                  

Bankrupting the Billionaire Republicans will also provide American’s with an ACTUALLY FREE MARKET since 90% Wall Street is in Fact Owned by the 1% NOT THE CITIZENS. If You think I’m wrong go fucking Google GameStop. In a Nutshell GameStop was Broke and on the Verge of Collapse and a Bunch of Hedge Funds (along with Wall Street Brokers and Investment Bankers) were planning to put GameStop out of Business once and for all. The American Public found out and Organized on Reddit to Buy GameStop Stock since it was Cheap as Hell with the Company Tanking and Drove Up the Price of the Stock. This Not Only Foiled the Wall Street Sons of Bitches from putting the Last Nail in GameStop’s Coffin it Cost the Dirty Bastards $5 BILLION. A Couple of the Hedge Funds involved Lost so Much Capital that THEY went Bankrupt resulting in Them Closing. The problem was after the Rich Elitist Wall Street Shitheads pitched a fucking Fit about it immediately RIGGED THE SYSTEM AGAIN to Prevent the American People from Participating in an Actual Free Market. Thus the Republican’s used Their Money to FUCK OVER AMERICANS and Keep Control of the Stock Market which provides Them with Millions of Dollars worth of Income.

                   

Even if there is a Second American Revolution against the Gross Wealth Inequality was Waged and Won it Still would be Over. Once the Initial Problems Remedied there is still plenty of Work to Do to Ensure that this sort of Wealth Inequality NEVER Occurs Again. This Requires EXTREME METHODS of Damage Control as We are Fighting Against DECADES of Republican Self Serving Corruption. As I said the Republican Party is DEAD and Replaced by the Despicable GQP Habitually Lying, Self Saving, Wealth/Power Oriented, Domestic Terrorist Hate Group. Considering this THEY SHOULD BE DEALT WITH AS SUCH. The GQP are Parasites that should be Exterminated like any Termite or Roach. We Must Drive EVERYTHING GQP from America not just Now but FOREVER.We must Purge this GQP Plague and Sterilize Our Country. Just like a Cancerous Tumor the GQP will ONLY be Removed by Taking Action, and that action is REMOVING THEM WITH FORCE IF NEED BE.

To Do This We must SHUT DOWN The GQP Propaganda Channels of Communication crippling Their Influence on the America. That would me putting Fake Fox News, Newsmax, and OAN out of Business and ARRESTING They’re On Air Talent along with Management and CEO. The On Air Personalities and Management should stand Trial for fucking Treason for Spreading Lies and Propaganda on Behalf of Their GQP Loyalty. They WILL be convicted regardless because We will use the GQP’s Model of a Kangaroo Court. Once Convicted They should be Sentenced to LIFE WITHOUT PAROLE in SOLITARY CONFINEMENT. This Also Applies to GQP Websites, Social Media Platforms, and Any Other viable Method of Mass Communication (ie Radio, Magazines, Newspapers Etc.).

        

Any GQP Supporters among the American Public should be Rounded Up and Detained in Prison Camps while We decide They’re Fate for Them. There Three Options in My Opinion the First Deport the Sacks of Shit to Antarctic without Provisions Nor Supplies to Fend for Themselves. I mean these assholes spent Four fucking Years Spouting the Racist Motto “Love it or Leave It” so this would be a Taste of Their Own Medicine. The Second option is We Load them Up on a Fleet of Cargo Ships and Sail Them Out to See and Strand Them There. We Disable the Engine, Take all Tools, and Disable the Navigational Equipment and Leave Them Adrift to again Fend for Themselves. The Third Solution is to find a Deserted Island in the Middle of the Ocean and Leave Them There. It would be like Britain deciding to Transport its Convicts to Australia and use it as Their Dumping Ground.

The Final Step in the Process would Be ABOLISHING THE GQP ENTIRELY. Make being the Member of the GQP would be the Equivalent of being a Member of a Racist/Hate Group or Domestic Terrorist Organization or Convicts (who as a condition of Their Parole are Forbidden to associate with other Convicts or known Criminals). With the GQP straight up OUTLAWED the Last Task at Hand is deciding what to do with Promote Members of The Defunct Political Party. I say Arrest Them All Immediately and Try Them For Treason along with the Other Litany of Crimes They Committed and CONVICT EVERY LAST ONE. When it comes to Their Punishment for Engaging in a Full Blown Insurrection I would like to Refer to the Constitution. Our Forefathers who Wrote and Signed the Constitution of America were quite specific on the Punishment for Treason. Our Forefathers deemed the ONLY Punishment for Treason was DEATH.

With that Said The Orange Asshole, His Inner Circle, Lindsey Graham, Lin Wood, MTG, Josh Hawely, Ted Cruz, Lauren Boebert, Mitch McConnell, Bill Barr, Dejoy, DeSantis, and the More would be Executed PER THE CONSTITUTION. I say allow the American People to Assemble on the White House Lawn and have The Republicans marched Out one by One and Fed to the Rabid Mob. The Mob would beat the fuckers to Death or Literally Tear Them Limb from Limb like a Zombie Horde in a Horror Movie. Let the American People go all World War Two and Drag the Republicans Carcasses through the Streets to Cheering Crowds. Let The American Public String Up these Republican Savages’s Beaten, Broken, and Blood Corpses from Light Posts and Beaten like the World’s Shittiest Piñatas. The American People should Decapitate the Republican Cadavers and Display Their Severed Heads on Pikes Outside the White House. Once the Crows have Picked the Republicans shitty Skulls Clean the Skulls should be taken and Displayed in the Entrance to the White House as a Permeant Reminder to Other Devious Assholes if They Attempt to Harm America (or Its People) this would be the Result.

In Summation the Only Good Member of the GOP/GQP is a fucking Dead One.

Thanks For Reading,

 By Les Sober

November 7th, 2020 The Day America Saved Its Own Ass

I don’t Comment on Much or Really Anything about the World Outside of FYB on FYB and there’s a Couple Good Reasons Why. First Off FYB is a World Unto Itself, and Should Not be fucked over by the Bullshit in Real Life as FYB Provides well needed Escapism. The Second is one of the Wisest things Anyone Ever fucking Told Me which is “Three things You should’t discuss with Other People about Money, Politics, or Religion.”, and I will never forget it to the Day I Depart this Planet. Money is a relatively New Addition to the List of Topics, but as for the Latter Two it’s Old News. The Reason for Avoiding said Topics is They Both can Turn a Relaxed and Pleasant Conversation into a UnHoly Shitshow in a Matter of a few Seconds.

                   

With that Said I Honestly Feel at this Particular Point in American History I Want to, Need to, and Must go on the Record. Four Years Ago in 2016 when a Certain Orange Shit Gibbon Stole the American Election the Country and the Entire World knew things were going to Get Really fucked up, But No One Knew to what Extent. Well its pretty fucking Safe to Say that the Increasing Nightmare in America was Far More Fucked Up than even the Most Pessimistic Pessimist could have Predicted. The World watched On in Shock and Awe as They watched a Once Proud Nation Slip Further and Further into a Fascist Ruled Poverty Ridden Police State. I’ll say it America was Headed Straight Towards the First American Dictator with The Orange Asshole in Office. America Long Standing Issues of Wealth Inequality, Party over Country, Racism, Oppression of Women Rights, Homophobia, Anti-Semitism, and an Unchecked Level of Ignorant and Uneducated People Rise to a Unthought Level of Pure Hate Driven Destruction.

                   

The Orange Anti-Christ was Only Out for Himself, and the Pay Day of Being President, from Day One He Only Served Himself. As far as Everyone Else as Far as His Fat Orange Ass was Concerned Fuck Them All. He Lied over 20, 000 Documented Times, He Uses Social Media to Lie and Spread Propaganda/Misinformation/Conspiracy Theories, He was IMPEACHED for Attempting to Commit Treason by using a Foreign Country to Interfere in a American Election, He Alone (Not Including His Administration of Assembled World Class Abominable Assholes, and His Ass Kissing Associates)  has had over 100 Scandals Ranging from Pedophilia to 27 Charges of Rape to Promoting Racism/Racist Organizations or Groups to Tax Fraud to Committing Treason in 2016 and trying again in 2020.

The Orange Asshat did Everything He could to Divide Americans turning The People Against Themselves. Meanwhile He and His Corrupt Party of Complict Traitors and Army of Ass Kissing Sycophants could Grab Fist Fulls s of Dirty Dollars and Lust for More and More Power. The Orange Assclown was the Actual Human Equivalent to fucking Cancer. Everything He touched or Associated with turned to Total Unadulterated Shit. He Personifies what is referred to as a “Shit Person”.

                   

Then After Four Long and Insanely Dark Years the Orange Emperor of Assholes Illegitimate Presidency was Threatened with Termination of a Second Term by the 2020 Presidential Election. Now the Orange Anal Fisher had a Particular Problem being the “Boy Who Cried Wolf” Syndrome. The Obese Orange Bastard had been Caught Habitually Lying to the Point it His Lies were Loosing Their Power to Manipulate the Masses. So the Evil Orange Asshole amped up His Cult Base of The Shittiest People on the fucking Planet (Racists, Evangelicals, Pedophiles, Crooks, Liars, Thieves, Sex Offenders, Drunken Wife Beaters, Uneducated White Trash, Homophobes, AntiSemites etc.) to New Heights of Hellacious Havoc. He became so Desperate He and His Piece of Shit Party tried and Spouted all the fucking bullshit They could come up with. Not to Mention as They made Allegation after Allegation to Date all have been TOTALLY UNFOUNDED and Utterly fucking FALSE. The Shit They Babbled on about became Increasingly Bizarre and Absurd to the Point it was a fucking Joke even Alienating His Own Supporters. The Orange Anus’s Legacy (like His Entire Life is One) is One Ongoing Full Blown FAILURE.

                    

Inevitably the Outrageous Orange Assface Ranted, Raved and Raged to No Avail, and Lost His Re-Election Campaign to a True Leader. Unfortunately since We are Dealing with The Orange Ass Implant We are still having to Tolerate a Tremendous Amount of Sore Loser Bullshit and Complete Conspiracies along again with ENDLESS LIES. The Orange Idiotic Asshole is a Minuscule Minded 74 year Old Toddler Who Lied and Lost the Election and now is having a Full On Temper Tantrum like an Enraged Tween. Along with the Asinine Antics of the Orange Rectal Tumor We also have to Endure the same Line of Shit from the Few Remaining Political Cronies Towing the Line of Elections Lies trying to Overturn the Entire Election the Traitorous Titfucks. They all should be Fired, Arrested, Tried for Treason for Their Revolting Perversions of/in Politics and Fucking Over the People They were Meant to Serve, and Locked Up for the Rest of Their Shit Eating Lives.

                    

Now if that wasn’t Enough fucking Insult to Injury after the Last Four Years of Hellishness We also have to Account for the Orange Assbag’s Shitty Supporter Cult Base. They like Their Lame ass Loser Leader are Pitching Fits like Theres No fucking Tomorrow especially Thanks to Social Media among other things. These are the Same Sacks of Shit that in 2016 Gloated to the Ends of the fucking Earth when the Orange Anus Itch Stole the Election (Thanks to Russian Interference Lead by Vlady Putin), AND Talked Mad Shit to Anyone Who didn’t Support Their Detrimental Dipshit of a So called Leader. They ran around Starting Shit as Much as They Possibly Could because They Felt Empowered by the Orange Assfuck to be the Actual Scumbag Shitfuckers They are. So to all those Orange Asshole Supporters still out there tell Me if this Sounds Familiar “FUCK YOUR FEELINGS!”

                   

To All the Orange Asshole’s Supporters who said if He lost They’d Leave America then GET THE FUCK OUT ALREADY YOUR FUCKING SORE LOSERS. To the Shitty Supporters who said They’d take to the Streets and Incite all kinds of Violence WHERE YOU HIDING YOU FAKE TOUGH GUYS? To The Racist Groups who backed the Orange Ass Suck WHERE ARE YOU NOW that Your Leader has FALLEN. To all the Evangelicals that said if the Orange Asshole Lost God would Abandon Humanity and all that Bible Beating Bullshit LOOKS LIKE GOD DOESN’T AGREE WITH OR LIKE YOUR FAKE CHRISTIAN ASSES. To all the Orange Asshole Militia Motherfuckers who Claimed They’d take Back America if He Lost WE HAVE THE ACTUAL MILITARY WITH REAL SOLDIERS YOU WANNBE GI JOE JOKERS. We all now have The Proof of what We knew All Along just like the Orange Anal Abortion His Shitty Supporters are All Bark and No Bite, They’re all Talk because in Actuality They are Scared little Punkass Cowards. My Advice to the Orange Asshat’s Supporters Grow a Spine and Shove it Up Your Ass.

                   

Thank Fuck those Dark Days are Slowly Dying Away as America does What America Does. We get Complacent and Forget the Events from the Past/History that We have had to Endure then All Hell Breaks Loose, and America has to Suffer until The Citizens put Their Personal Bullshit Aside, Unite, and Triumph over Adversity. America has a New Honest, Competent, Positive, Educated, Experienced, Compassionate NEW LEADER to Help America Rise like a Phenix Once Agin from the Ashes of Chaos, and to Return to Glory Stronger than Ever Before. In the End the Revolting Orange Asshole and His Administration of Assholes will Fall, They will be Removed by Force if Necessary, and They will Pay for all Their Sleazy Dealings/Crimes. Truth has Beaten Tyranny the Wannabe Dictator is Done, and Finally after Four Years American can begin down the Long Road to Recovery and Prosperity.

P.S. FUCK TRUMP.

Thanks For Reading,

By Les Sober  

Politics is Full of Assholes

People kept asking me why since I am quite passionate about politics (especially now a days) why I don’t write a post about it. I don’t for a few reasons.

The first I don’t want to waste my time or be annoyed by Political Fanatics who want to endlessly argue THEIR political points, its an exercise in utter and complete futility.

Second it take I image a few YEARS for me to write, and in the end it would be a fucking big book (I wouldn’t split it up over several posts because I’m first and foremost a writer NOT a Politician), and I don’t want to turn into a Political Blog either. That gets boring fast as fuck both for readers and myself.

Lastly beside being a writer I dabble a GREAT deal of Art (Painting, Sculpting, Drawing, all that shit.) SO based on the exactly the same concept of my GG ALLIN Pictorial Posts that a picture says a 1,000 words decided to use pictures. This time the Pictures will no be just a Photo, They will be mostly Mean Motherfucking, Brutally Truthful, and to the point Memes (which combines writing and Photographic Art).

I spent several hours showering the Idiotnet looking for direct to the point, I’m not a Politician NOR am I a fucking comedian.

If for ANY reason you as a Reader feel it necessary to voice your political opinion based on this post (or any fucking thing else) do me a fucking favor. Don’t bother posting the comment instead GO EAT SHIT SANDWICHES IN HELL ASSHOLE.

And So Here We Go…….

 

  Traitor Turned Wannabe Dictator FUCK 45.

 

(The GOPieces of Shit)

 

<Putin Buttplug. Enough Said.

 

The Uneducated Cult Followers

 

Habitual Liar Press Sec. Sarah SLANDERS

 

Fake Fox News AKA GOP Propaganda

 

Alex “Batshit”Jones   

 

NRA: Domestic Terrorist Org.

 

The Resistance.

Post By

Les Sober 

Murder And Mayhem At Trump’s Insidious Impromptu News Conference Of Death & Damnation

Have you ever woken up in the morning and the first though you have is that you really want to pick a fight? I have many times and today I decided the person I was to pick a fight with would be the one and only Donald Trump. I ,along with the rest of the American people , have been bombarded by Donald Trump on television, printed interviews/articles in newspapers and magazines alike, Twitter, Youtube, and even radio. I must be clear I hate Donald Trump politically and personally as he is an extremely shitty person to begin with. Now why, or for what reason do I dislike Trump so highly?
Donald Trump looks quite similar to the past 44 presidents (excluding Obama obviously). He dresses in expensive high end suits worth thousands, predominately wears red or blue ties, is a 70 year old white man, and has a rather large belly. That is where the similarities end. Trump’s unique physical characteristic being found in his ungodly fake spray tan that leaves him looking like he has the worst case of jaundice in recorded history. The second primary physical characteristic is his hair which has remained a mystery for so long it can finally been called the 8th wonder of the world.
As for Donald Trump’s personality characteristics they are truly deplorable as he seems to have a Pandora’s box of bad behavior. Trump is a narcissist of Freudian proportions who’s extreme ego borders on megalomania. Also, for being completely ignorant of the American political system, Trump is over opinionated as well as ruthlessly aggressive on every front and every platform because his unquenchable thirst for power and control are unparalleled. For a president, Trump seems ignorant of the issues and takes every negative comment as a personal attack upon his character. Trump’s immature attitude has him tweeting like a tween and seems to cater to his child-like mentality that causes him to have terrible tantrums reminiscent of a 2 year old. Trump also is a sexist who’s views are almost on par with pedophilia. He is a closet racist and blatant anti semite. Trump is not only rude and insulting, but he always remains unapologetic as he points his finger at anyone but himself.
I just so happen to live in Florida and am located so geographically close to Trump’s Mar-a-Lago mansion that when I saw he was due for another visit I decided this was my chance. I drove to the Palm Beach Post newspaper headquarters down in West Palm Beach to meet up with a buddy of mine that works for the paper. He hooked me up with an official press pass and credentials which (unless you were in the know) made me look like a legitimate reporter. I then made my way to the Trump National Golf Club also located in Mar-a-Lago where Trump was due to throw an impromptu press conference. I strolled past the news truck barricade parked directly out front and past the handful of reporters shooting pre news conference pieces. I entered the club’s front door where a large security man who scowled at my press pass before ordering me through a metal detector. On the other side of the metal detector I was met by another rather large looking security man who gave me a pat down that was so intense it was more like a massage. I made my way into the conference room and managed to finagle my way into the 2nd row front and center where I waited for my prey to enter the room.
It didn’t take long before the rest of the press personnel were herded into the conference room like cattle. About a minute later Donald Trump entered from behind a curtain lazily wandering over to the podium as he smiled with self satisfaction. Once behind the podium Trump proceeded to slowly scan the room from side to side with his classically vacant stare. The conference was a fiasco and made little to absolutely no sense at all as Trump dodged questions, made false allegations and rambled on about subjects that weren’t addressed in the news conference. After 45 minutes or so Trump finally wound down his inane diatribe and opened the floor to questions. This was my opening because to fight Donald Trump your best weapon is Donald Trump. All one has to do to pick a fight with Trump is to say anything remotely critical about him and he launches himself into a terrific tirade which surpasses self defense. He then plunges head first into full on attack mode.
By the time fourth or fifth question had been asked Trump was already leaning aggressively forward over the podium his face flushed with outrageous anger. Trump’s facial features had twisted and contorted into an insane mask of rage filled disgust and endless contempt. He was cracking quickly and I knew it was now or never. I raised my hand and was lucky enough to have him call upon me.
I simply asked the president how he plans to make America great again if his bartenders at Trump’s Bar and Grill couldn’t even make a proper cocktail? Without pausing for a millisecond I continued by explaining. A patron of his eating establishment photographed a $22 gin martini because it was served in wine glass filled with a generous handful of ice. I was some unknown brand of gin, and had a very weak looking olive.
This was the straw that broke the Donald’s back as it were. Trump started waving his hands in the air like a demonically possessed air traffic controller screaming at the top of his lungs that in fact, the world has been making martinis wrong, and Trump’s bar staff actually know the correct recipe. Thats when the shit really hit the fan as they say.
Trump’s private security burst open the conference room doors with the force of an atom bomb and came charging in like rabid bulls. Unfortunately the private security team had had a miscommunication issue as to what was happening and who they were supposed to subdue. This miscommunication led Trump’s private security personnel to engage in an all out fucking fist fight with the Secret Service who too where there for the protection of the president. Steve Bannon appeared out of no where holding a copy of “Mien Komf” which he immediately started reading in German. I wanted to punch Bannon in his white nationalist fat fucking face, but I didn’t want my hand to stink of cheap whiskey, sweat and nazi for the rest of the day. Mike Pence, being the giant pussy that he is, had been methodically backing up since the opening of the Q and A to the curtain behind the podium, which he now utilized to hide with only his expensive Italian loafers poking out from the bottom. Reporters scrambled to defensive positions tripping over each other’s camera cords, and misplaced chairs in an attempt to capture as much footage as possible. Kellyanne Conway showed up to pander to the remaining cameras and reporters jumping around like a jack rabbit on crystal meth. Kellyanne was trying in vain to convince the reporters that this was not a riot of any kind, BUT it was a rally born of over exuberance, love and support for Trump. This over exuberance had caused a spontaneous outbreak of fanatical joy and sincere celebration. Moments after appearing on the scene Kellyanne was struck violently on the top of her head in the misguided attack by a Trump supporter armed with a confiscated boom microphone. The boom microphone crashed down upon Kellyanne’s skull with such brute force it split her head in half in a volcanic explosion of blood. Kellyanne’s body wavered a second with her eyes still blinking in such a way it was reminiscent of a Hammerhead Shark before collapsing lifelessly on the floor. Just then I spotted the one person I hate worse than Donald Trump, the British journalist Milo “I will say anything or back anything outrageous for attention” Yiannopoulos who is employed by the GOP to run interference using the most vile propaganda to distract the public from the president. Milo was dressed in a British school boys uniform to accommodate his latest travesty of defending, exuding and virtually promoting pedophilia. My attention was drawn to Yiannopoulos. He was fleeing franticly towards the fire exit at the back of the room when he got knocked flat on his back by an improvised nazi salute from Bannon. I ran over to Milo and informed him I was the vice president of NAMBLA (may all members of NAMBLA be castrated and left to bleed out)and I was here to help him escape. Once Milo was on his feet again I led him to the center of the conference room directly under the industrial fan that was humming like monster truck engine.
Once we were positioned under the gigantic fan I bent down, grabbed Milo behind his legs under his buttocks, and hoisted him strait up into the fury of the fan blades. The fan blades turned Milo’s head, arms and upper torso into minced meat with a shower of blood, bone and body parts raining down upon the entire room. I dropped Milo’s mutilated and mangled carcass and looked back at Steve Bannon. Bannon had worked himself into such a fury he had triggered a massive fucking heart attack. His face as white as his KKK hood, sweating like a pig at the slaughtering house, gasping for air and clutching at his heart with his right hand while still kept on reading. Seconds later Bannon dropped to his knees, explosively shit his pants and fell over dead as a door nail, and his eyes looked like 2 fucking blowfish due to Bannon’s extremely insane blood pressure right before death. The chaos was reaching a climax when I realized if I believed in self preservation this was time to make my exit. Trump’s security had surrounded him and were ushering him out the door with great difficulty because Trump kept stopping to turn around and yell ridiculous claims such as this was a media plot to destroy and discredit him, this is part of the Liberal agenda, this was in all reality fake news, the electoral college, the boarder wall, molesting women, his bank account, Putin and how it was mother Russia marrying father America, questioning Obama’s birth certificate, China hackers that plagued the election, hair care, tanning tips, advertisements for Trump Towers/ Trump casino’s/Trump Hotels, unifying America, Rosie O’Donell, preaching he never once went bankrupt, the annoying planes that fly over his mansion, tweeting, and vast voter fraud. I ducked and weaved my way to and fro, out the conference room door into the foyer. As I made a beeline for the club’s front door I saw radio personality and Trump lover Alex Jones standing in the middle of the foyer like he was the eye of a hurricane. Jones was spouting Trump propaganda and undying support for him, like a deranged circus barker. I couldn’t resist so I got in front of him and when he opened his mouth for another decree I rammed my microphone into it, and then proceeded to jam the microphone as far as humanly possible down his throat into his esophagus rendering Jones silent as well as dead the mic cord hanging out the corner of his mouth like a wayward piece of spaghetti.

As I strode towards my car drenched in blood I thought to myself what a wonderful little riot that was.