Tag: anal sex

G.O.A.T and Your M.O.M

Many years ago a buddy of mine showed me an episode of the TV show TOSH.0 he had recorded previously. The main feature of the show was a viral video starting the band G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. playing their now infamously famous song “Quack Like A Duck” at someone’s lame ass backyard party (or whatever kind of get together it was it’s kind of unclear). The video had everyone on the internet wondering who the hell was the older frontman who wears only a cape, cowboy hat, and a thong (which are all American flag themed) when preforming.

The answer to the question of who was this band is it’s lead singer and frontman  are G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. an acronym that stands for  GOD OF ALL TEXAS AND YOUR MASTERS OG MENACE (the origins of the name are unknown, but  most people presume its linked to the location of the band. The band is a Novelty Alternative Rock band formed back in 2007 and are based out of Austin, Texas.  Now this band would make a shit ton more sense if you changed the context from grown adults to the more appropriate high school freshman garage band. I say this because the band’s lyrics are inappropriate with sexually charged lyrics, and the music is pretty fucking basic (there’s NO Grammies in these guys future). Thats why my first impression was “Who the fuck are these lame ass adults acting like they’re hormone ravaged high school teenagers?”, and immediately dismissed the band as nothing more than a pathetic joke (just like another band THE MENTORS). I addition to the immature lyrics and basic musical talent GOAT is know for his brand of sexual dancing involving the shaking of GOATS junk. I saw one video where he played a tambourine by hitting it with his thong covered package.

                    

Then recently something someone said reminded me that G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. actually existed since I had completely put them out of my mind until then. My initial opinion had remained unchanged regardless of my shitty memory, BUT this time around I slowly found myself abandoning my disgust in favor of laughter. The more I laughed the more the band grew on me like a fucking rash as I started to view them more as an odd ball joke instead of a bunch of untalented adults still dreaming of being rock starts. Before soon I was in what I refer to as “rubber necking” territory since you don’t wanna look at the car crash that’s causing the traffic jam you’re stuck in. You tell yourself you won’t look because it’s a morbid curiosity, and if it was you involved in the accident you wouldn’t want people driving by staring. Accept we all know in spite of your telling your self not to look and running through the reasons not to look INEVITABLY when you get to the head of the traffic jam YOU DAMN WELL DO LOOK. This is how I now feel about G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. like a horrible car crash that you cannot help looking at even if you believe you don’t want to.

The band consists of an average of 3 Members being Micheal Anthony Gerard (aka GOAT) on vocals/bass, Bubba Spunk on drums, Toni Gnosis on guitar, and part time member Eric Houser on bass when GOAT is more preoccupied with singing. The band are available for hire, and have played at weddings and other associated venues. They also have a single a 12 song live album titled “Dvck Hvnt” (and if you know the band that doesn’t stand for “duck hunt”, but more likely its an alternate spelling of “Dick hunt”).

                   

Video playlist:

  • G.O.A.T. and Your M.O.M. “Quack Like a Duck” (Live)
  • Quack Like A Duck: Explained by GOAT Himself
  • Quack Like A Duck: Explained by GOAT Himself: Part 2 (butt of corpse)
  • G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. – 1st Date (2016)(Live)
  • G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. – DP
  • G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. – Hotter Than Hell (Live)
  • G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. – Thot U Were My Friend (Live 4/14/2016)
  • G.O.A.T. and Your M.O.M. – Butternut Squash

PLEASE WELCOME TO THE STAGE G.O.A.T AND YOUR M.O.M!!!

HEY LOOK IT’S SOME BONUS SHIT!!!

“QUACK LIKE A DUCK” LYRICS:

[Chorus]

  • Can you quack
  • Can you quack like a duck when you suck
  • Can you buck like a horse when we fuck
  • Can you take every inch up your butt
  • Can you shit on my chest for good luck
  • Can you quack
  • Can you quack like a duck when you suck
  • Can you fart on my balls when we fuck
  • Can you stick your whole tongue up my butt
  • Can you shit on my chest for good luck
  • Can you quack
  • Can you quack like a duck when you suck
  • [VERSE]
  • Give it a suck
  • Give it a fuck
  • But you ain’t cute enough to where I want to
  • knock you up
  • And if you swallow it whole can you take it up
  • the butt
  • Now I might keep you around long enough to
  • bust a nut
  • Well I want to knock you down
  • Cause I want to knock you up
  • All I really want to do is fuck you in the butt
  • Then you turn around and then you suck it up
  • While your girlfriend’s behind me with her
  • tongue right up my butt
  • [Chorus Repeat]
  • [Verse Repeat]

NOTE TO READER: GOAT is a life long heavy metal fan so it’s worth pointing out there 2 heavy metal references in Butternut Squash. The first is the phrase used throughout the song “Caught in a mosh” which just so happens to be a song by the heavy metal legends Anthrax. The second is “cherry pie” which was a song by the lame hair metal band Warrant. In addition to these two specific references you can see in the Video’s DP and Butternut Squash that whatever room the band is playing in has several Heavy Metal flags/posters for other Metal Legends such as Metallica and Iron Maiden.)

See you wench I see you,

   Justin Sane   

Text Poetry That No One Should Read

WARNING DEAR READER:

Even though We here at f-yourblog.com have an open letter statement posted that has a section pertaining to content. The Following Post is the reason We have said section. THIS IS THE MOST OFFENSIVE and OBSCENE Post to date. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

In the past I have posted a couple of SpaceDog’s and my Late Night Text Conversations. I was recently on a road trip that had me headed into SpaceDog’s neck f the Woods. So I texted Him a short 4 line limerick that then gave birth to an entire poem written on spontaneously on the spot while stuck in a real bumper fucker of a traffic jam. A few minutes later SpaceDog hit me back with a Nasty bit of Poetry of His own also pertaining to the same person. See one of the things SpaceDog and I have in common are a bunch of people we both Hate and Despise to NO END WHATSOEVER. To handle this deep disgust We mock these people viciously in an arena where NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS EVER.

Here is My Poem I sent SpaceDog:

THE BAD ASS BALLAD OF BRITTANY:

People laugh and people scoff,

But Brittany cut her pussy off,

She’d have Wild Fetish fits,

While Strange Men shit on her Tits,

She used so much lube She bought Stock,

While sucking on an Old Man’s Cock,

She’d fuck you till you bounced off the Walls,

She’d Swallow, Eat Ass, and Gargle Balls,

When She heard of Bukaki,

She said “thats for ME!”,

She always had problems with her legging,

When some Dude’s Ass She was Furiously Pegging,

No Secret Brittany Licked some Slit,

Nibbled on Crackhead Clit,

She Shot Heroin that was Top Notch,

She injected into her stank Crotch,

Filled with Pervert’s Jizz,

She Loves The Biz,

Now She has Lost All Hope,

She’s Sucking Dick for Dope,

Made Her money on her Back,

Spent it all Smoking Crack,

Her Vag is riddled with STDs of Every Kind,

She’s Drinking Mad Dog 20/20 to unwind,

She’s Pregnant again and She Knows the Institution,

She’ll go back to The Free Clinic for her 100th Abortion,

She’s a 3 Hole Super Slut,

Mouth, Vag, and The Butt,

She sits on the corner smoking a PCP Laced Blunt,

While Passerby’s on the Street gag at the smell of Her Cunt,

It looked like a sloppy Hot Roast Beef between Her legs,

As Her Live In Gimp Grovels, Moans, and Begs,

She can Cream Pie like no other,

She once even fucked Her own Mother,

Started a Porno Web Cam,

Where She’d eat Her Sister’s Clam,

She’ll fuck every last one of the 42 of us,

As Long You don’t mind Her Pussy Puss,

Her Scab covered Genitalia,

Just the Smell Could Kill Ya,

She’d let you Tittie fuck Her for just a Dollar,

You could finish on her face and its No Bother,

She would go insane if you wanted to run a train,

Just as Her Baby was Aborted so was Her Feeble Brain,

Gang Bangs made Her Wet,

Bath Salt Abuse made Her Forget,

Molested by Her Step Brother,

Preformed Oral sex on her Mother,

A Homeless Alcoholic Hooker,

As a D-List Stripper No One would Book Her,

She loved taking Golden Showers,

She’d sell Her body at all hours,

She can really go to town taking on a Taint,

She does shit that makes Hardcore Porn Stars Faint,

She has to be to remain the Rim Job Queen,

She was a regular at The No Tell Motel,

In Her Own Ejaculation Soaked Hell,

She was a truly Bitter a real  Bitch,

Who’s pounded out pussy tended to Itch,

Her Vaginal fuck Flaps hung down by Her dirt covered Knees,

A Vile of Crack would pop out of Her Ass when She would sneeze,

Track Marks under Her Muff,

Taking 56 cocks a day can be rough,

She would Masturbate in a Fury,

Behind the Dumpster in the Ally,

She’s fuck you for Food,

She’ll fuck a Girl, a Sheep, and a Dude,

She was a Donkey Show Star,

At the Sleaziest Bar,

So absolutely fucked up and utterly Dumb,

No wonder The Stupid Slut is coated in Cum,

She  used to shoot Golf Balls out of Her Snatch,

And Golf Tee’s out Her Ass just to Match,

She’s Dirty, disease ridden Prostitute,

There is NO Dispute,,

She used to run through Police Barricades,

While Screaming “I have FULL BLOWN AIDS!”,

She constantly Battled the Clap,

Under a Bridge SHe’d take a Nap,

She was a Tramp among Tramps,

She’d take Cash, Drugs, or Food Stamps,

She just a low rent junkie,

a Drug Mule Flunky,

A rotten, scummy Hell of a Gutter Whore,

I hit the Road, I could stand Her NO MORE.

 

What? You were Warned So if your Offended in any way…..

For those Reader’s who are around I will be posting SpaceDog’s Reply Poem Tomorrow without Fail Friends.

Thanks For Reading,

Les Sober