Tag: Austin

Carmen’s Banana Cooking Episode #41

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring CARMEN’S BANANA COOKING EPISODE #41. Carmen’s Banana Cooking Show  Aired on Austin Community  Television (Public Access) on Channel 10 on Fridays at 10pm from 1984 until 1992. Carmen would Cook Up Banana Dishes, Showcase Local Talent, and Go on Countless 80’s Austin Adventures. The Show’s Viewing Audience was Comprised of Actual Real Fans as well as Those Who were Fans of the Surreal Absurd fucking Freak Show Factor. The Show was Recently Rescued and Restored Carmen’s Banana Cooking is Streaming for Free On Youtube, and it has an Official Website. Also an Interesting Fact is Every Single Episode of Carmen’s Banana Cooking Show was Produced by Steven David Video.

The Host is a Ugly motherfucker in Wannabe Chiquita Banana Drag with Prosthetics (But remember They weren’t like the Prosthetics used in TV and Film Today. Take for Example Carmen’s Massive Quadruple DD Tits that were made from fucking Paper Mache for fucks sake), and the Finest fucking Dollar Store Wig Available. Carmen is Also Adorned with some Seriously fucking Tacky Banana Gimmick that looks like Some shit You’d buy for a fucking Halloween Costume. As for Carmen’s Make Up it Looks like a Piece of fucking Trailer Park Dwelling Piece of White Trash hooked up with a fucking Las Vegas Meth Addicted $2 Hooker and had a fucking Kid. Also We must fucking Warn You that at the Beginning Carmen Sings some Old Ass Love Song and Sings it HORRIBLY that it makes American Idol Rejects look Talented.

          

Episode Synopsis: First and Foremost the Show has Insanely Shitty Production Value and is EXTREMELY fucking Low Quality as it fucking gets. As We just Mentioned Above the Show Starts with Carmen Murdering the fuck Out of some Back in the Day Love Song. Then Carmen’s Big Sister Karma Stops by for some Utterly Unknown Reason. Karma then Dumps a Basket of what fucking else Bananas and Proceeds to Read Them like Some Sort of Shaman Mystic Medicine Man. Now it’s Not exactly Clear but it Seems that the Banana Basket Bullshit was to Confirm the Winner of the 1988 Election or at Least that’s what the Two Started Babbling About Almost Incoherently.

Our Favorite Line is when Carmen tells Her Sister as Her Sister is Leaving “We’ll Twist Up a few Banana Peels” Not too fucking Subtle Smoke Weed Much? FYI We Smoke Weed so We’re Not talking some Straight Edge Happy Horseshit. The Episode Ends by Transitioning from the Show’s Set to Some Asshole in Bed with Leopard Themed Pillows, Sheets, and Shit Wearing a Cheap Latex Mask (The Kind Used in the Human Doll Fetish). Now whoever the fuck it is or Supposed to be Doesn’t say a single fucking Word and Body Language is as if the Camera Man just Walked into Their Bedroom and Surprised Them so Their Acting all Shyly Taken Aback.

It is What it Is,

   Presented By Les Sober  

G.O.A.T and Your M.O.M

Many years ago a buddy of mine showed me an episode of the TV show TOSH.0 he had recorded previously. The main feature of the show was a viral video starting the band G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. playing their now infamously famous song “Quack Like A Duck” at someone’s lame ass backyard party (or whatever kind of get together it was it’s kind of unclear). The video had everyone on the internet wondering who the hell was the older frontman who wears only a cape, cowboy hat, and a thong (which are all American flag themed) when preforming.

The answer to the question of who was this band is it’s lead singer and frontman  are G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. an acronym that stands for  GOD OF ALL TEXAS AND YOUR MASTERS OG MENACE (the origins of the name are unknown, but  most people presume its linked to the location of the band. The band is a Novelty Alternative Rock band formed back in 2007 and are based out of Austin, Texas.  Now this band would make a shit ton more sense if you changed the context from grown adults to the more appropriate high school freshman garage band. I say this because the band’s lyrics are inappropriate with sexually charged lyrics, and the music is pretty fucking basic (there’s NO Grammies in these guys future). Thats why my first impression was “Who the fuck are these lame ass adults acting like they’re hormone ravaged high school teenagers?”, and immediately dismissed the band as nothing more than a pathetic joke (just like another band THE MENTORS). I addition to the immature lyrics and basic musical talent GOAT is know for his brand of sexual dancing involving the shaking of GOATS junk. I saw one video where he played a tambourine by hitting it with his thong covered package.

                    

Then recently something someone said reminded me that G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. actually existed since I had completely put them out of my mind until then. My initial opinion had remained unchanged regardless of my shitty memory, BUT this time around I slowly found myself abandoning my disgust in favor of laughter. The more I laughed the more the band grew on me like a fucking rash as I started to view them more as an odd ball joke instead of a bunch of untalented adults still dreaming of being rock starts. Before soon I was in what I refer to as “rubber necking” territory since you don’t wanna look at the car crash that’s causing the traffic jam you’re stuck in. You tell yourself you won’t look because it’s a morbid curiosity, and if it was you involved in the accident you wouldn’t want people driving by staring. Accept we all know in spite of your telling your self not to look and running through the reasons not to look INEVITABLY when you get to the head of the traffic jam YOU DAMN WELL DO LOOK. This is how I now feel about G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. like a horrible car crash that you cannot help looking at even if you believe you don’t want to.

The band consists of an average of 3 Members being Micheal Anthony Gerard (aka GOAT) on vocals/bass, Bubba Spunk on drums, Toni Gnosis on guitar, and part time member Eric Houser on bass when GOAT is more preoccupied with singing. The band are available for hire, and have played at weddings and other associated venues. They also have a single a 12 song live album titled “Dvck Hvnt” (and if you know the band that doesn’t stand for “duck hunt”, but more likely its an alternate spelling of “Dick hunt”).

                   

Video playlist:

  • G.O.A.T. and Your M.O.M. “Quack Like a Duck” (Live)
  • Quack Like A Duck: Explained by GOAT Himself
  • Quack Like A Duck: Explained by GOAT Himself: Part 2 (butt of corpse)
  • G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. – 1st Date (2016)(Live)
  • G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. – DP
  • G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. – Hotter Than Hell (Live)
  • G.O.A.T. and YOUR M.O.M. – Thot U Were My Friend (Live 4/14/2016)
  • G.O.A.T. and Your M.O.M. – Butternut Squash

PLEASE WELCOME TO THE STAGE G.O.A.T AND YOUR M.O.M!!!

HEY LOOK IT’S SOME BONUS SHIT!!!

“QUACK LIKE A DUCK” LYRICS:

[Chorus]

  • Can you quack
  • Can you quack like a duck when you suck
  • Can you buck like a horse when we fuck
  • Can you take every inch up your butt
  • Can you shit on my chest for good luck
  • Can you quack
  • Can you quack like a duck when you suck
  • Can you fart on my balls when we fuck
  • Can you stick your whole tongue up my butt
  • Can you shit on my chest for good luck
  • Can you quack
  • Can you quack like a duck when you suck
  • [VERSE]
  • Give it a suck
  • Give it a fuck
  • But you ain’t cute enough to where I want to
  • knock you up
  • And if you swallow it whole can you take it up
  • the butt
  • Now I might keep you around long enough to
  • bust a nut
  • Well I want to knock you down
  • Cause I want to knock you up
  • All I really want to do is fuck you in the butt
  • Then you turn around and then you suck it up
  • While your girlfriend’s behind me with her
  • tongue right up my butt
  • [Chorus Repeat]
  • [Verse Repeat]

NOTE TO READER: GOAT is a life long heavy metal fan so it’s worth pointing out there 2 heavy metal references in Butternut Squash. The first is the phrase used throughout the song “Caught in a mosh” which just so happens to be a song by the heavy metal legends Anthrax. The second is “cherry pie” which was a song by the lame hair metal band Warrant. In addition to these two specific references you can see in the Video’s DP and Butternut Squash that whatever room the band is playing in has several Heavy Metal flags/posters for other Metal Legends such as Metallica and Iron Maiden.)

See you wench I see you,

   Justin Sane