I (Les Sober) was texting with SpaceDog today and scrounged up an old Textversation he had one night when he was a bit drunk, board, and rather creative. So SpaceDog decided to fuck with a complete Stranger via Text to entertain himself.
SpaceDog has sent me a copy of said Textversation and……
Now Ladies and Gentlemen For your Entertainment I Give You That Very Textversation!!!
Stranger: who is this? why are you calling me at 2:30 in the morning?
SPACEDOG: I was calling in for a refill. I didn’t know you offered text messaging. I need a refill on the compact Cath. Can I get them in the 90 pack please? They run out a lot quicker than I thought.
Stranger: no i am not Gina. i suggest you stop texting me i ask you nicely now i am not your Viagra store, your cath company or senior center
SPACEDOG: My last Catheter broke and it was an bit of an emergency This is the number Gina gave me down at the senior center. She also told me you can help with my Viagra too. Damn stiffy aint working too good.How soon can you have this stuff sent out to me? I have a po box at zip code 18103, Po box #4827
Stranger: can’t you read i said i am not who you are looking for. what does that even mean? I have no idea who you are or what you want? how do you know me?
SPACEDOG: Be a nice boy they are the things that go on my cobra so i can tinkle in my bed and when i go to the Sands I can go right at the black jack table. How much is the refill on my Viagra? Only need 5 of those my lady friend is coming up from texas.
Stranger: well the clearly you can’t read your own writing sounds like you need to dial 1 800 Gambling problem
SPACEDOG: I got a problem with my old pecker 🙁 i only gamble with the money my daughter Bridget gives me. I’m not so sure what my writing has to do with this. Is that you Gina?
Stranger: are you drunk?
SPACEDOG: Only drunk on the lust i have for life. Is there a shipping fee? The last caths cost me 9.95 for shipping but they gave me a discount for my hip. It’s not real. Shhhhh don’t you be telling my lady friend.
Stranger: is this Jimmy! how you get my number
SPACEDOG: I told you Gina down at the center gave me your number. Gina Gershon. Said you can help with what ails me but i had no idea you are ailing . How was I to know? Im just a lonely old man who needs his Caths. Only thing that’s wrong with me is my teeth fall out sometimes when i get all giddy.
Stranger: well as i told you you have the wrong # i don’t know any of those people.
SPACEDOG: (555)321-7654 Sometimes she goes by the name molly. Well one time she told me her drifter name was peggy. What a wild one that Gina. How much is the shipping costs and how do i pay you? My granddaughter has me on paypal and i got my check book here. Do I need insurance? My name is Tyler Durden policy #627HG269ZBT889NJLA990555FL0101001
Stranger: I am sorry you have the wrong #! this is a personal # and i am starting to get frustrated with this conversation. its rude you text me at 2:30 in the morning.
SPACEDOG: But my last Catheter broke and it was an bit of an emergency This is the number Gina gave me down at the senior center. Listen here sonny you shouldn’t have your ringer on if it’s that late and you aren’t doing refills.
Stranger: is this Jimmy from NY?
SPACEDOG: This is Tyler from foglsville
Stranger: i don’t know a Tyler?
SPACEDOG: Who is this Jimmy you speak of? Is that your barracuda? I haven’t been to NY in so long. My lady friend and i used to see all them shows, had ourselves a fine gay old time.
Stranger: alright i am having rough day right now either tell me how you got this number or know me or fuck off. i just lost someone very close to me and i have been trying to be nice but i am not in the mood for your games
SPACEDOG: Well Gina told me this is the spot. We are getting off track, i need 90 Caths, 5 boner pills and gina told me you got the tina too. Said its gonna pep up step whatever that means. I’m 87 not much pep to step.
Stranger: What are you talking about. i just had a death in my family. What is wrong with you?
SPACEDOG: Since you don’t seem to be doing much about helping me get my new Caths perhaps I can get a discount on the ones the old dead guys doesn’t need anymore. Do you offer a discount for recycling deceased patients medical devices and if so how much of a discount? 50% off sounds like a good deal to me.
Its finally at this point the Stranger realizes that they don’t have to respond just because their being texted in the first place. And only by responding would the Stranger reengage SpaceDog’s Senile Old Man’s Ranting.
See to me thats the funniest fucking thing about this situation that the Stranger doesn’t want to deal with the bullshit, BUT keeps perpetuating the very conversation they don’t want to be in in the first place. Its like trying to put a Fire out by pissing Gasoline on it.
As for our Dear Old Friend SpaceDog is concerned he has hinted that there just might be a sequel coming in the some what near future.
We will have to wait and see.
By to you by SPaceDog 