Tag: bath salts

Hi

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring HI a Music Video for the Musician IONEYE by Content Creator, Director, and Musician Jordan Diniz. Diniz is the creator of the mind boggling bizarre  Youtube channel Treatsforbeasts as well other earlier video/musical projects. NOT a whole fucking lot is really known about Diniz like for example when researching We found shit like this “It is possible he is from Massachusetts.” which was IN-FUCKING-FURIATING! You damn well know Finding Information is gonna be a REAL son of a bitch if No One even knows where Diniz is from. We did manage to find SOME goddamn Additional Information which You will find Below. As for IONEYE We found a Shit ton of Links to His Music on Goddamn every fucking Platform that fucking Exists, BUT We couldn’t find a fucking Thing on IONEYE Himself.

Diniz:

  • Diniz has preformed in several bands such as Thang City and The Liquid Flow.
  • Diniz was the keyboardist in Holding Steady The Heartbeat of Hell.
  • Currently music wise Diniz is making music under the name Sanguinarious.
  • Diniz’s music genre of choice could be considered a mix of Gothic rock, Heavy Metal, and quite possibly Post-Punk.
  • Some say he looks like Jesus.
  • Diniz has what has been described as “ridiculously expandable jaw” (an example of this is Diniz singing in the video “I me you love god ”
    From Diniz’s work it’s apparent he doesn’t think favorably about Christianity/Catholicism.
  • Diniz created Treatsforbeats on September 26, 2009.
  • Diniz has gone YEARS before posting new content on his Treatsforbeasts Youtube channel.

SO what can We say About this Video? Well at First of All When We watched it Initially it was at face value An Amusing Little Piece of fucking Absurdity with Music that We can’t say We’re Fans Of. Then We Ended Up watching HI and Slowly We found Ourselves feeling for Lack of a Batter Word Mesmerized by Our growing Infatuation with the Video. We couldn’t Stop thinking of What the Fuck it’s All About, and What the fuck Does it Mean if it Means Anything? There seem like there Two Different Unrelated Themes in HI One is Focused on some Medival Monk Roaming around with a Mysterious Key. The Second Theme Centers around a Character Named Fuck (Which We get a Real Kick Out of) Who looks like a Troma Movie Villain that’s to say Fuck looks like a Gimp on Bath Salts. We also became Fascinated with the Video’s Description as it Too is Randomly Bizarre as You can See for Yourself Below.

Video Description:

Hi. Hello. My name is Fuck.

“Do you want his Money?” “Do you want his bitches?”

 

It is What it Is,

 Presented By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (46/365)

“Options, Options, Options are Good to Have, So Let’s see here What are Our Options?” mused Dizzy Aloud as He began to Pace the length of the Room slowly clearing a Small Path through the Empty Cigarette Packs, Beer Cans, Long Smoked Dimebags, and the Other various Refuse that Littered the Floor.

“We could Call My Buddy Hall Ucinogen and pick up a Couple Tabs of Acid, and We could go to the New Aquarium. Then We could drop the Acid and Trip Balls for 8 hours fucking with the Fish.” Lee suggested causally in a very off the Cuff manner.

“That be fine if We were in fucking High School, come on Man that shit is so Played the fuck out. What’s Your next suggestion We smoke some Weed and go to the fucking Planetarium to catch a Later Light Show?!” responded Dizzy with a Great Deal of Disgust.

        

Lee sat back on the Couch to collect Himself since Dizzy’s attitude was currently Shit. Lee focused on a Massive Spider Web that encompassed an entire Corner of the Room. Lee thought what an amazing feet for such a small insect then it occurred to Him that He hadn’t actually seen the Spider, and considering the size of the Web it could be a Formidable Sized Spider. Lee started to psych Himself out as His eyes darted frantically around the Room searching for a Glimpse of the Illusive Arachnid.

“Hey We could Drive around and Pick Up Road Kill and Drop it on the Front Door of People We fucking Don’t Like Very Well.” said Dizzy with an enthusiastic tone in His Voice that communicated His excitement at this Option.

“First off We Don’t have a fucking Car so We’d have to call those Tech Nerd Ride People for a Lift. Now I have never used Their service before, BUT I can pretty much fucking Guarantee Our Driver wouldn’t dig the Idea of Us loading up His Trunk with Rotting Roadkill Carcasses. So I Don’t think that idea would fucking Pan Out.” said Lee crankily still a bit taken back by Dizzy’s response to His initial Idea.

“Ok How about We score a Case of Beer, Go down to the City Dump, Get Drunk, and Shoot Rats?” countered Dizzy taking a moment to sift through the Trash on the Floor with His foot.

“You have a Gun?” Lee asked though He didn’t find the Fact Dizzy Owning a Gun that Surprising to tell the Truth.

“Relax Scarface its just My Grandfather’s Old .22 Rifle that He used to Hunt O’possum and Armadillo for Food. He was one of those Gnarled Old Appalachian Mountain Men You Know,” answered Dizzy Happy to Reminisce about His Bad Ass Outlaw Grandpa,” He started smoking at age 8 and started Drinking Moonshine by 11. Spent His whole fucking Life breaking His fucking Back scratching Out a Meager Living do Odd Jobs and supplementing His minimum Income by Bootlegging and Trapping. He was one Hard motherfucker I’ll tell You That He could Make a Man piss Himself just by Glaring at Them.”

        

“While it’s Not the Worst idea of the Day I Don’t want to End up sitting on a shitty Syringe and wreaking of fucking Filth for Four or Five Days.” said Lee trying to be encouraging since being Proactive yielded far better Results than just Being Reactive.

“Alright The How about We go down to the Strip Mall, Strip buck Naked, and Run around like fucking Psycho’s like We’re on Bath Salt Bender?” suggested Dizzy after a brief and awkward pause.

“I give it a fucking A for Creativity thats for fucking Sure. The only Drawback is if We do that there’s virtually No Chance of Escape because it wouldn’t take long before Someone or Some Store Owner called the goddamn Cops. And while I love Extreme Pranks and Seriously fucking with People I don’t want to spend the Night in the Drunk Tank. That and it really Piss off My Probation Officer too.” replied Lee as He looked for a Lighter that actually worked to light His Cigarette with.

       

Stay Tuned for Next Weeks Enthralling Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (47/365)

Thanks for Reading,

 By Les Sober (12:24 am)

So It All Started When………

So it all Started when I was Driving to the Gadget Store to pick Up a New Tomato Polisher to give to My Wife for Our 57th Wedding Anniversary. Out of fucking No Where a Naked Guy Higher than God on BathSalts Leapt into the Middle of the Road trying to Eat His Own Face. He had already Consumed His Lips and was Futilely trying to Shove the Rest of His Face into His Mouth.

I sweared like a son of a bitch and Accidentally Drove of the Road to Avoid turning the Man into a Human Meat Sack. As My Car charged Head First Down a the Stereo embankment Zigging and Zagging through the Bumper Car Course from Hell. At Last My Car came to a Abrupt Stop after the Wheels got Entangled in Under Brush.

I exited My Car and Started to Treck through the Dense Woods in Search of Civilization. As I strolled along I heard a particularly Strange and some what Disturbing Sound. It sounded Like a Rabid Wounded Grizzly Bear, and its Prey had fallen Head First into a Giant ass Blender. Curious I wondered  towards the Unknown Noise until I reached a Near by Clearing in the Woods. There I laid Eyes on One of the Greatest Abominations I have ever born Witness too.

       

There is that Clearing was Only what I can Assume was Bigfoot who looked Nothing really like the Stereotypically Depiction of what Bigfoot is thought to look like. This Humanoid Creature was in deed HUGH standing around 8 Feet Tall, weighted approximately 400 plus Pounds, and was in need of some Serious Industrial Manscaping (Due to the fact this Creature had Excessive amounts of Body Hair I could see Why Some People Mistook the Body Hair for actual Fur). The Bigfoot though had the Physical Characteristics not of an Ape, but much more like that of a Neanderthal  Caveman with a Sloped Head with a Pronounced Brow.

The Bigfoot like Creature was engaged in a Rowdily fucking a Large Brown Bear, or Perhaps It was Raping It I’m not too sure. I’m not sure because I have No fucking Clue what a Fully Grown Adult Brown Bear or a Suspected Bigfoot sound like while having Sex. All I’m saying is when Cats Fight or Fuck it sounds the Same which is as if They were being Skinned Alive.

       

Not wanting to be Spotted and running the Risk of Being Killed or Worse Dragged into This Interspecial Clusterfuck. So I took off as Fast as My Legs could carry Me. After a Few Minutes of Running through the Woods I came across a Small Zoo on the Boarder of the Woods and a Rather Large Looking Town. I made my way to the Front Gate only to find it Chained Shut with a sign hanging on it that read “Closed for Mating Season”.

I figured even if the Zoo wasn’t currently Open to the Public there still has to be a handful of Staff on the Premises to Clean, Feed, and Tend to the Care of the Zoo;s Animal Population. I scaled the Fence and let Myself In. As I explored the Zoo I gravitated over to the Penguin Enclosure since I personally think Penguins are Dope as Fuck.  I still had yet to locate a Staff Member and decided since I was already in the Zoo I may as well Treat Myself to a Round of Penguin Spotting.

I entered the Building that Housed the Penguin Enclosure and started to Look Around. As I was staring at a Colony of Emperor Penguins I became aware that for a Building Housing Penguins this One was Rather Warm, Yet the Snow/Ice in the Enclosure(s) was Melting in spite of the Above Average South Pole/North Pole / Arctic Temperatures. I simply Couldn’t get My head around it defied Science. I figured something had gone wrong technically maybe the Cooling System had Broken Down or was About or To something to that effect.

       

I searched around until I located the Access Door that lead Directly into the Actual Penguin Enclosure and once again let Myself in. As soon as I set foot into the Enclosure a Malicious Penguin Slide Tackled Me, and in Response I fell flat on My face in a Big Old Snow Bank. Just then a Second Penguin landed on My back knocking the Wind Out of Me. As I tried to Stand Breathing in Heavily in an attempt to Catch My Breath I inhaled a large Portion of the Snow Bank. Once I got to My Feet I realized this Snow was gritty like Sand, and no where Near Cold as it seemed to be Room Temperature.

A Second or Two later I felt a Rush of Energy that felt like NASA had Launched a Rocket up My Ass. I could hear My Hair Growing and there was a Low constant Humming in My Ears. I then became insanely aware of My Surroundings and started to become intensely Paranoid. I thought to Myself that perhaps this is what it was like to Loose One’s Mind as My Heart was Booming a Death Metal Band’s Bass Drum. I scrambled Frantically out of the Enclosure and bolted out of The Penguin House in Haste.

Once outside again I freaked the fuck Out as I became Overwhelmed by the Situation and remembered I was in fact Trespassing after Breaking an Entering. I knew I had to get the hell out of the Zoo no matter what before I got Arrested for My Illegal Shenanigans.  I started sprinting from Building to Building, Enclosure to Enclosure trying to find a Posted Map of the Zoo’s Layout.

Before I found One The Zoo was inundated with Militant DEA Agents wearing Bullet Proof Vests, Guns Drawn, and Their Badges swinging wildly around Their Necks from cheap Chains. I was apprehended immediately and taken into Custody. Luckily I managed to inform the Agents I wasn’t a Zoo Employee which They then Verified. They uncured Me and told Me to Remain where I was until instructed Further as I had already gotten in the Way of Their Drug Raid.

       

It turned out that the Zoo wasn’t closed for Mating Season as the sign stated, but it was Closed for Drug Smuggling. As it turned Out the Employees of the Zoo had a MASSIVE Meth Lab in the Basement of the Penguin House. As They Manufactured Kilo after Kilo of High Grade Crystal Meth the Hid it in Plain Sight by Masking Their Meth as Actual Snow.

In the End 37 Zoo Employees were Arrested in the Raid and the DEA Confiscated over 2 Tons of Amassed Crystal Meth making it the Biggest Meth Bust bu the DEA in Meth History.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

F to the U to the C to the K

I have to vent some as I’ve got that fucked up feeling like I’m actually going insane.

I can fucking feel It.

I fucking fear It.

I fucking am It.

FUCK IT BEGINS:

Fuck The Bullshit.  Fuck Them. Fuck Money.  Fuck Pharmaceuticals.

Fuck Taxes. Fuck Censorship.  Fuck Salt.  Fuck Bills.

Fuck Organized Religion.  Fuck Politicians.  Fuck The Police.  Fuck Poverty.

Fuck Sexism.  Fuck Fast Food.  Fuck Nazi Scum.  Fuck Homophobes.

Fuck Fox News.  Fuck Trump,  Fuck Driver’s Licenses.  Fuck War.  Fuck Aids.

Fuck Abstinence.  Fuck Ignorance.  Fuck The GOP.  Fuck Fear.

Fuck Pollution.  Fuck Hunting.  Fuck Hypocrisy.  Fuck Half Assed.

Fuck Insurance Companies.  Fuck Hospitals.  Fuck Opioid Pain Killers.

Fuck Flakka.  Fuck Bath Salts.  Fuck Pot Prohibition.  Fuck Order.

Fuck Power.  Fuck The Elite.  Fuck Fake. Fuck Rape.

Fuck Crime. Fuck Society. Fuck The Legal System. Fuck Washington.

Fuck Florida. Fuck Capitalism. Fuck Sports. Fuck The Education System.

Fuck Alex Jones.  Fuck Sarah Sanders. Fuck Ben Carson. Fuck Devos.

Fuck Paul Ryan. Fuck Bill O’Reilly. Fuck Sean Spencer. Fuck Kavanaugh.

Fuck Big Business. Fuck Trade Wars. Fuck Tax Breaks For Wealthy Cunts.

Fuck Doctors. Fuck Ego. Fuck Critics. Fuck Dictators. Fuck Fascists.

Fuck The System. Fuck The Man. Fuck Authority. Fuck Racism.

Fuck Scott Pruitt. Fuck Mitch “The Bitch” McConnell. Fuck Mike Pence.

Fuck AR-15’s. Fuck Mass Shootings. Fuck Anti-Semitism. Fuck Intolerance.

Fuck Bordom. Fuck Fun. Fuck Work. Fuck 401 ks. Fuck Cubicles.

Fuck Animal Abuse. Fuck Elder Abuse. Fuck Child Abuse. Fuck Lawyers.

Fuck CEOs. Fuck FaceBook. Fuck The Internet. Fuck Bullying.

Fuck Melania Trump. Fuck The Entire Trump Family Tree. Fuck Them All.

Fuck Jared Kushner. Fuck Jeff Flake. Fuck Susan Collins. Fuck Lawrenceville.

Fuck Hate. Fuck Anger. Fuck Depression. Fuck Dispare. Fuck Injustice.

Fuck ICE. Fuck Bias. Fuck TV. Fuck Apps. Fuck “Ask Your Doctor”. Fuck Debt.

Fuck Attitude. Fuck Conforming. Fuck The Powers That Be. Fuck Oil.

Fuck Putin. Fuck Gluten. Fuck Kimmy Jong-un. Fuck Pop Punk.

Fuck Ratings. Fuck The American Dream. Fuck Us All. Fuck It To Hell.

Fuck The Oscars. Fuck The Kardashians. Fuck NJ Shore Cast. Fuck Pandora.

Fuck Siri. Fuck Alexa. Fuck Apple. Fuck Bill Gates. Fuck SmartPhones.

Fuck Scams. Fuck SUVs. Fuck YouTube. Fuck Hollywood. Fuck Unoriginality.

Fuck Mundane. Fuck The Norm. Fuck Uber. Fuck Entitlement.

Fuck The Rich. Fuck Nationalists. Fuck Fine Art. Fuck Wine Snobs.

Fuck Foodies. Fuck Hipsters. Fuck Millennials. Fuck Procrastination.

Fuck Failure. Fuck Job Interviews. Fuck Public Opinion. Fuck People.

Fuck Podcasts. Fuck Materialism. Fuck Consumerism. Fuck Restrictions.

Fuck Rules. Fuck The Proud Boys. Fuck Tucker “Fucker” Carlson.

Fuck Sean “The Shithead” Spencer. Fuck Reboots. Fuck McMansions.

Fuck Desperation. Fuck Misery. Fuck Agony. Fuck Pain. Fuck Sadness.

Fuck Conflict. Fuck Hate. Fuck Love. Fuck Humanity. Fuck The World.

Fuck North Korea. Fuck Saudi Arabia. Fuck Terrorists.

Fuck Domestic Terrorism. Fuck The NRA. Fuck Teddy Nugent.

Fuck Roseanne Barr. Fuck Fox Friends. Fuck Kid “Rap” Rock.

Fuck Contracts. Fuck Banks. Fuck The Stock Market. Fuck Exclusion.

Fuck Apartheid. Fuck Lies. Fuck Deceit. Fuck Disloyalty. Fuck Traitors.

Fuck Fair Weather Fans. Fuck Advertising. Fuck Fashion. Fuck Cosmetics.

Fuck limitations. Fuck Child Molesters. Fuck Evangelicals.

Fuck Steve Bannon. Fuck Steve Miller. Fuck Lesly Graham.

Fuck Netflix. Fuck Macho. Fuck Bravado. Fuck Self Centeredness.

Fuck Corruption. Fuck Fraud. Fuck Luxury. Fuck TMZ. Fuck Country Rock.

Fuck Pro Life. Fuck Big Tobacco. Fuck Ramen Noodles. Fuck Obedience.

Fuck Tofu. Fuck Disco. Fuck Expectations. Fuck Curry. Fuck Kale.

Fuck The 90’s. Fuck Political Correctness. Fuck Orthodox.

Fuck Conventional. Fuck Crowds. Fuck Frats. Fuck Collage Sports.

Fuck Commercial Endorsements. Fuck Internet Fame. Fuck Stupidity.

Fuck Ignorance. Fuck The Box. Fuck Diets. Fuck Doctors. Fuck Credit Cards.

Fuck Cell Phone Providers. Fuck Roaming. Fuck Flying. Fuck Security.

Fuck Contradiction. Fuck Two Facedness. Fuck Cliches. Fuck Fads.

Fuck Popularity. Fuck Success. Fuck Protocol. Fuck The Standards.

Fuck Viral Videos. Fuck Stainless Steel Appliances. Fuck Garbage Disposals.

Fuck Home Owners Associations. Fuck Idiocy. Fuck Cancer.

Fuck Heart Disease. Fuck Imitations. Fuck Wannabes. Fuck Lemmings.

Fuck The Hype. Fuck Acceptance. Fuck Star Bucks. Fuck On Line  Shopping.

Fuck Drones. Fuck Robots. Fuck Artificial Intelligence. Fuck Domestication.

Fuck Elon Musk. Fuck Collage Tuitions. Fuck Tests. Fuck Evaluations.

Fuck Envy. Fuck Jealousy. Fuck The DMV. Fuck Public Transportation.

Fuck Movie Theaters. Fuck Amusement Parks. Fuck Disney.

Fuck Time. Fuck The Inevitable. Fuck Fate. Fuck Extinction. Fuck Fuck.

Fuck Interior Design. Fuck Radio. Fuck Desire. Fuck Temptation. Fuck Sex.

Fuck Infomercials. Fuck Propaganda. Fuck The Bullshit. Fuck Sarah Sanders.

Fuck Reality. Fuck Fiction. Fuck Spam (Mail). Fuck Tourists. Fuck Vaping.

Fuck Conspiracy Theories. Fuck Pretense. Fuck Definition.

Fuck Classification. Fuck Indifference. Fuck Schtick. Fuck Arrogance.

Fuck Ikea. Fuck Burning Man. Fuck Fees. Fuck Mensa. Fuck NASA.

Fuck Vegans. Fuck Celebrity Chefs. Fuck Mixology.

Fuck Pomp and Circumstance. Fuck Folly. Fuck Gasoline. Fuck Ivy League.

Fuck Superiority. Fuck The Majority. Fuck The Flock. Fuck Followers.

Fuck “Likes”. Fuck The Flue. Fuck Double Standards. Fuck Exclusivity.

Fuck Wealth. Fuck Fame. Fuck Fortune. Fuck Disbelief. Fuck Shock and Awe.

Fuck Fanatics. Fuck Zealots. Fuck Day Dreams. Fuck Salesman.

Fuck Pressure Sales. Fuck False Apologies. Fuck Cheating. Fuck Giving Up.

Fuck Whining. Fuck Bitching. Fuck Lamenting. Fuck Complaining.

Fuck Excuses. Fuck Reason. Fuck The Past. Fuck Fuck Ups. Fuck The Upside.

Fuck Feelings. Fuck Loss. Fuck Death. Fuck Life. Fuck Institutions.

Fuck Organization. Fuck Fault. Fuck Instability. Fuck Box Stores.

Fuck Self Check Out. Fuck Contradiction. Fuck Smartphone Games.

Fuck The End. Fuck The Beginning. Fuck Mark Zuckerberg.

Fuck George “Corpse Grinder” Fisher. Fuck American Idol.

Fuck Reality Shows. Fuck Greed. Fuck Contempt. Fuck Regret. Fuck Ethics.

Fuck Dennis Miller. Fuck Kellyann Conway. Fuck Artificial Shit.

Fuck Imposters. Fuck False Profits. Fuck Weaponizing Holy Scriptures.

Fuck the Repetitive. Fuck Designer Dogs. Fuck Child Beauty Pageants.

Fuck Concern. Fuck Gamers. Fuck Emo. Fuck PG-13. Fuck Merchandise.

Fuck Malls. Fuck Billboards. Fuck HBO. Fuck Amazon. Fuck Walmart.

Fuck Monopolies. Fuck Privatized Prisons. Fuck Fines.

Fuck Eating Horse Meat. Fuck Whale Hunting. Fuck Big Game Hunting.

Fuck Boarders. Fuck Land Ownership. Fuck The Government. Fuck The FCC.

Fuck The IRS. Fuck Exploitation. Fuck Drama. Fuck Fuckers. Fuck Hunger.

Fuck Knock-Offs. Fuck Non Alcoholic Beer. Fuck The “It Place”.

Fuck Internet Challenges. Fuck Posers. Fuck Light Weights.

Fuck The Mainstream.

Well I feel a bit better so back to The Grind.

Thanks for Reading,

   Les Sober

Texting In The Eye of The Shiticane

Once again I find myself having to Apologize. Repeatedly in Our continuing attempt to raise f-yourblog.com up to its full potential have suffered another self induced delay. Well what can We say other than We fucked up, BUT We are working diligently to defuckulate the situation.

As it were We had f-yourblog.com had the offer of a lifetime so passing on it wasn’t even considered and option. Thus We have been away somewhere across The Pond for the last 10 days being Spoiled like motherfuckers. I’ll leave it at that for now as it will be covered in a Piece to be posted in the immediate future.

As soon as I was Stateside I texted SpaceDog and preceded to have yet another of Our Legendary Texting Sessions, and This One Made The Cut.

So without further ado I give you TEXTING IN THE EYE OF THE SHITICANE:

SpaceDog: Oh Shit were u in Italy? I think that’s where u told me u were going at one point. Oh you missed it a 120 minute trump shitshow press conference. Highlights include him saying Democrats are gonna dig up dirt on george washington and that the world at the UN was laughing with him not at him (complete with nonsensical 10 minute explanation)

Les: Yeah We were in Tuscany. 120 minute trump conference…did Hell freeze over while I was gone?! Did hear trump got his fat orange ass laughed outnof the UN LMFAO!!! So officially the entire fucking world is mocking the shit out of trump while laughing right in his fucking face!!!

SpaceDog: Fuck u diane lane. I mean nice. Nah he was talking a lot of crazy all week cuz the UN came to NY.

Les: We should lock the White House down like a CDC Drill, pump it full of MDMA through the AC Vents and let the GOPieces of Shit rape the shit out of each other to death. Problem Solved.  MDMA or Flakka Smoke. MDMA is too good for those fuckers! BATH SALTS IT IS!! That way the scumfuckers can eat each others faces while violently raping each other’s orifices beyond Surgical Reconstruction. LMMFAO

SpaceDog: Yeah bath salts. Maybe flake for trump so he’s also disfigured as he’s getting eaten. OK I’ve taken matters into my own hands.

Les: Seriously who the fuck goes to Medical School and decides to be a fucking Proctologist or Urologist?! I mean its the actual shittiest/ pissiest job of fucking medical Professionals?!!

SpaceDog: I’ve been deleting games and quitting games from my phone and computer so far taking me 2 hours. Trying to give all my shit away so i have no desire to fucking play.

Les: Someone’s parents happy about that? Like do they go to cocktail parties and brag their asses off about their wonderful son The Rectologist Ass Doctor OR do they just leave the Ass Doctor part out and just refer to their kid as Doctor?! DAMN.

SpaceDog: IDK maybe someone that likes seeing a lot of dick, but idk its not like u are seeing good dick. I mean i guess u are comparing best case scenario for dick and all i guess.

Les: That’s dedication to the cause. 2 hours of deleting shit?! You sure you don’t work for the government? LOL!

SpaceDog: Like maybe one day u see someone 60 and say we;; I’m glad my balls may only sag a little bit and do not touch my knees. Yeah hillary had me delete some emails. It was mainly 90 minutes in one game mindlessly donating tokens.

Les: DICK WARS on FOX this Fall!

SpaceDog: Then finding  all the games in hidden places on my computer like a 14 year old with porn magazines or a guy trying to hide booze from the wife.

Les: So what finally made you want to get out of gaming? At 60 I’m tucking my testicles into my knee socks.

SpaceDog: Because I’ve been doing it 10-12 hours a day for 6 years.

Les: 90 minutes thats kinda hardcore.

SpaceDog: I keep going to all kinds of anonymous meetings and they tell me its not a problem even though I’ve told 3 different sponsors (recent) and 11 in total over the course of my life.

Les: LMFAO! BOOZE! PORN MAGS!

SpaceDog: Makes me think if dammer ever went to AA or NA they would say “Well as long as you are not drinking and reading the big book I really don’t see any issue with you eating a few boys every once in awhile.

Les: I apologize I haven’t smoked in 9-10 days and my Wife got CHinses Food so I’m all fucking over the fucking fuck

SpaceDog: No ganja in Tuscany? Haha i had Chinese today i think the greasy ass egg roll threw me into a rage.

Les: I looked into where you can get it and like America either you know a fucking guy or find a guy that knows a fucking guy. They said students and places with a younger demographic areas were where to look. That though is just painfully fucking obvious. Italy does sell legal “Marijuana Light” called so because of its fucking low ass THC level.

SpaceDog: The O’douls of Reefer

Les: Bullseye!

SpaceDog: I guess Amsterdam or Portugal would be better, actually even Canada is better.

Les: Its low as fuck all compared to the killer shit America is growing now a days and shit. People called it “fake weed” and complained about it giving them headaches and shit.

SpaceDog: I mean the cheapest legal place is Uruguay but I’d be scarred I’d get abducted there. Yeah if its from a machine its bound to be crap.

Les: Yeah I do love weed but not even I am going fucking anywhere near Africa, fucking everything in Africa fucking kills you. There was a store that was faker than fuck called CANNABIS that I looked into after hearing a ton of people shit talking it. Everything says Marijuana on it BUT ITS CBD ONLY, no THC whatsofuckingever. Its a classic fucking bait and switch false advertising scam.

SpaceDog: Uruguay is in South Africa but Africa yeah 1000 x’s over i don’t wanna go there. Maybe Casablanca if i can go back in time to when the movie was made or ancient Egypt but fuck current Africa. Oh whoopee do LOL! Thought i did almost buy gummies with CBD and melatonin but the dude wanted $30.

Les: Its all derived from the same fucking plant, but these cunters where misleading people by making them think they’d get a buzz, but it was just CBD your not getting Amsterdam Merch Here.

SpaceDog: Oh yeah so i may be quitting beer specifically because that entitled douchbag supreme said he really liked beer 15-20 x’s during his hearing. Maybe i will start the red wine. That’s the only booze i projectile vomit. That’s always fun.

Les: Kavanaugh is a complete CUNT, that fuck is getting raped by Hitler in Hell the fucking piece of living breathing fucking shit. CASTRATE KAVANAUGH! Cut his rotten cock off. AND NOW the rancid pecker fucker ruined BEER?!! GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. Is there any fucking thing Trump and his GOPieces of Shit don’t fucking shit all over for fucking fucks sake. Waterboard that Supreme Court Cunt with Natty ICE till he’s fucking deader than dead the asshole deserves it. Well if you gotta vomit projectile is the best way to go I believe.

SpaceDog: All things projectile is better except when you jazz past your face and have no idea where the wad landed.

Les: Who the fuck green lit Murphy fucking Brown 2018?! How the fuck is Candice Bergeron not dead as fuck?!

SpaceDog: Out of all the reboots (including Fuller House) it is by far the worst.

Les: Thats why I where a face mask when I jerk off.

SpaceDog: I fell asleep 3 different nights trying to watch.

Les: Yeah but unlike typically rebooted shit their continuing it like it never went off the air or some fuckshit, I mean Candice looks like a blonde Liza Minelli. Botox Bombed out Blound. I guess 45 to 50 fucking facelifts at least, and she still is older than fuck, and not that mush better looking in spite of the gross amount of Plastic Surgery. No one remembers that fucking show so in the end who fucking cares?! LMMFBO!

SpaceDog: They should remake this horrible show. Watch “Dangerous Women TV Show Intro” on Youtube. I vaguely remember my parents watching it and it not being very funny. Not the women murphy brown not so funny.

Les: Yeah it was all political as shit. “The Series Return” that’s how fuck me Fox is billing this Bullshattery.

SpaceDog: Only one I’m honestly glad returned from the dead is Will and Grace since no one seems to be in much of a hurry to do it. Christ sometimes i think I’m gonna have to do it myself. Though that Australian show with the gay guy was good. The Stuff nightmares are made of. It’s like they sewed together the faces of all the dead Golden Girls to remake hers.

Les: I think bringing back Will and Grace would definitely be interesting shit. TV has become boring as shit. I’d especially like to see it comeback under your direction. That be entertaining.

SpaceDog: Its been back gonna be year 2 this year.

Les: What Australian Show was that?! I must have missed that one? Getting older is a shit reason for being absent minded. What Really?! Dear fucking Christ on a cocking where the fuck have I been? Oh wait living under a fucking rock apparently.

SpaceDog: Please Like Me…..i think it’s on HULU. The main guy is gay but thats mostly it besides the guys he dates. It was on the networks on some weird channel i never heard of that got axed.

Les: Cool I just scored my Brother’s HULU password so GAME FUCKING ON!

SpaceDog: Do u use IMDB? If i sign up for an account, do you know if i can get alerted to when actors/actresses have new projects coming out? Like how Spotify tells me about albums and concerts.

Les: Sounds like one of those shows ahead of its time and shit so at the time the general moronic public couldn’t understand it and it met an untimely demise.

SpaceDog: Yeah its pretty fucking dark sarcasm humor not all daisies and bullcrap.

Les: I’m not even sure I can recollect what the hell IMDB is, I’m the Technology Anti-Christ or some shit.

SpaceDog: Internet movie database

Les: Dark Sarcasm I’m in.

SpaceDog: I see one hot guy in one movie and i cyberstalk everything they’ve been in.

Les: I really wish I knew of this database much fucking sooner.

SpaceDog: And drunk tweet them and shame delete in the morning.

Les: LMFBO! Shame Delete!!

SpaceDog: I just assumed everyone knew. I’ve been on the internet since AOL.

Les: Think we have all but been there. I’m a Techtard. I’m always having to fucking catch the hell up LMTB!

SpaceDog: The biggest “celeb” that responded was the sprint/Verizon guy. Can u hear me now? Trump would say thats bigly sad.

Les: That be trump for you that fat orange fucktard, that baby dick having bitch boy, could he want to fuck his daughter any more?!! The fat filthy son of a bitch scumfucking scumfucked scumfucker scumfuck! ORANGE WANK MAGGOT! I can’t WAIT to shit on Trump’s fucking grave. I’m talking downing Exlax like Beer before hand and a German Industrial Institutional Grade Enema on Site.

+I sent SpaceDog one of those Personalized Emojis that fucking look like you. It’s one of the really fucking random shit that just appears from time to time. Its Me holding the 50 pound Shit Emoji thats as big as my Avatars fucking head. And not only does the Shit Emoji have the classic Smile and Wide Eyes but this one has a bright pink ribbon on top. My avatars head is slightly tilted with a slight smile that makes me look like a fucking sociopath.+

Les: WTF is this emoji for?! I had to wait a fuck long time for an opening anyfuckingwhere to use this absurd fucking thing.

SpaceDog: Idk 1) when i tell you that may fiber is working? 2) I just gave someone Benefiber recently maybe then? 3) can’t wait to shit on your face 40 text it to the Wife immediately before you give her a Dutch Oven.

Les: It looks like I came to your house, rang your fucking doorbell, and then presented you with a 50 pound pile of shit emoji like some fucking welcome to the neighborhood type shit cake or perhaps its a congratulatory “Its a Girl” new born baby gift?! Or just plain old pile of shit thats as big as my fucking head with a bow on the bitch to make it what a fucking present?! IT FUCKING DOESN’T ADD UP BABYCAKES! #3 Winner Winner Chicken Dinner! Second Place #4.

SPaceDog: Third place i shit so hard your toilet is clogged u need a plumber. They need a guy with his asscrack showing emoji.

Around this Time Gorged on Opulent amounts of Chinese Take Out, and High as a fucking Kite I fell the fuck asleep so sue me. And thus concludes this installment of Les and SpaceDog’s Textology.

 

By Les Sober & SpaceDog 

Text Poetry That No One Should Read

WARNING DEAR READER:

Even though We here at f-yourblog.com have an open letter statement posted that has a section pertaining to content. The Following Post is the reason We have said section. THIS IS THE MOST OFFENSIVE and OBSCENE Post to date. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

In the past I have posted a couple of SpaceDog’s and my Late Night Text Conversations. I was recently on a road trip that had me headed into SpaceDog’s neck f the Woods. So I texted Him a short 4 line limerick that then gave birth to an entire poem written on spontaneously on the spot while stuck in a real bumper fucker of a traffic jam. A few minutes later SpaceDog hit me back with a Nasty bit of Poetry of His own also pertaining to the same person. See one of the things SpaceDog and I have in common are a bunch of people we both Hate and Despise to NO END WHATSOEVER. To handle this deep disgust We mock these people viciously in an arena where NOTHING IS OFF LIMITS EVER.

Here is My Poem I sent SpaceDog:

THE BAD ASS BALLAD OF BRITTANY:

People laugh and people scoff,

But Brittany cut her pussy off,

She’d have Wild Fetish fits,

While Strange Men shit on her Tits,

She used so much lube She bought Stock,

While sucking on an Old Man’s Cock,

She’d fuck you till you bounced off the Walls,

She’d Swallow, Eat Ass, and Gargle Balls,

When She heard of Bukaki,

She said “thats for ME!”,

She always had problems with her legging,

When some Dude’s Ass She was Furiously Pegging,

No Secret Brittany Licked some Slit,

Nibbled on Crackhead Clit,

She Shot Heroin that was Top Notch,

She injected into her stank Crotch,

Filled with Pervert’s Jizz,

She Loves The Biz,

Now She has Lost All Hope,

She’s Sucking Dick for Dope,

Made Her money on her Back,

Spent it all Smoking Crack,

Her Vag is riddled with STDs of Every Kind,

She’s Drinking Mad Dog 20/20 to unwind,

She’s Pregnant again and She Knows the Institution,

She’ll go back to The Free Clinic for her 100th Abortion,

She’s a 3 Hole Super Slut,

Mouth, Vag, and The Butt,

She sits on the corner smoking a PCP Laced Blunt,

While Passerby’s on the Street gag at the smell of Her Cunt,

It looked like a sloppy Hot Roast Beef between Her legs,

As Her Live In Gimp Grovels, Moans, and Begs,

She can Cream Pie like no other,

She once even fucked Her own Mother,

Started a Porno Web Cam,

Where She’d eat Her Sister’s Clam,

She’ll fuck every last one of the 42 of us,

As Long You don’t mind Her Pussy Puss,

Her Scab covered Genitalia,

Just the Smell Could Kill Ya,

She’d let you Tittie fuck Her for just a Dollar,

You could finish on her face and its No Bother,

She would go insane if you wanted to run a train,

Just as Her Baby was Aborted so was Her Feeble Brain,

Gang Bangs made Her Wet,

Bath Salt Abuse made Her Forget,

Molested by Her Step Brother,

Preformed Oral sex on her Mother,

A Homeless Alcoholic Hooker,

As a D-List Stripper No One would Book Her,

She loved taking Golden Showers,

She’d sell Her body at all hours,

She can really go to town taking on a Taint,

She does shit that makes Hardcore Porn Stars Faint,

She has to be to remain the Rim Job Queen,

She was a regular at The No Tell Motel,

In Her Own Ejaculation Soaked Hell,

She was a truly Bitter a real  Bitch,

Who’s pounded out pussy tended to Itch,

Her Vaginal fuck Flaps hung down by Her dirt covered Knees,

A Vile of Crack would pop out of Her Ass when She would sneeze,

Track Marks under Her Muff,

Taking 56 cocks a day can be rough,

She would Masturbate in a Fury,

Behind the Dumpster in the Ally,

She’s fuck you for Food,

She’ll fuck a Girl, a Sheep, and a Dude,

She was a Donkey Show Star,

At the Sleaziest Bar,

So absolutely fucked up and utterly Dumb,

No wonder The Stupid Slut is coated in Cum,

She  used to shoot Golf Balls out of Her Snatch,

And Golf Tee’s out Her Ass just to Match,

She’s Dirty, disease ridden Prostitute,

There is NO Dispute,,

She used to run through Police Barricades,

While Screaming “I have FULL BLOWN AIDS!”,

She constantly Battled the Clap,

Under a Bridge SHe’d take a Nap,

She was a Tramp among Tramps,

She’d take Cash, Drugs, or Food Stamps,

She just a low rent junkie,

a Drug Mule Flunky,

A rotten, scummy Hell of a Gutter Whore,

I hit the Road, I could stand Her NO MORE.

 

What? You were Warned So if your Offended in any way…..

For those Reader’s who are around I will be posting SpaceDog’s Reply Poem Tomorrow without Fail Friends.

Thanks For Reading,

Les Sober 

Les’s Late Night Text Bombing SpaceDog

 

The other night during a synaptic storm I texted bombed SpaceDog with a slew of absurd, obscene, insane or offensive thoughts I was having through out the night. This time around the initial late night text bombing led to a 5 day sporadic exchange between SpaceDog and Myself.

The Texts are as follows.

Monday 10:50 pm: Les to Spacedog

Text: Dominick Dunn had a 13 1/2 inch Monster Cock and an All Star Porn career until one day he got on a public bus and was staring at a fellow female passenger. Dunn got a semi and when he sat down he accidentally fucked himself. He quite Pornographers the next day. But the question remains….Could he have maintained his career going Gay for Pay, but only actually fucking himself?

Tuesday 4:44 am: Spacedog to Les

Text: No he would have died of a cocaine addiction. Those half hard dicks up your hole would be hard to maintain.

Tuesday 5:37 am: Les to Spacedog

Text: Damn Dope Dicks, Coke snorting cocks!

Tuesday 2:56 pm: Spacedog to Les

Text: So the retarded guy I live by gave me mail he got by accident. Instead of just ringing my bell though he at first thought attempting his key in my door as a proper move. He was trying that fucker for a good 30 seconds before the rang the bell.

Tuesday 3:19 pm: Les to Spaced

Text: Well at least he has an excuse other than being just a mindless moron phone drone or just plain fucking stupidity, he is at least legit retarded.

Tuesday 8:58 pm: Les to Spacedog

Text: My new favorite insult is calling someone Cunt-Fart. Scrotumology is a lot like Palm Reading accept instead of reading lines on your hands its reading the wrinkles on your balls. TAINT PAINTING TUESDAY!

Tuesday 10:50pm Spacedog to Les

Text: Does it take into account your good ball and bad ball? And not the ball itself or more the sack. Bad balls kinda need to be removed. Good old one ball.

Tuesday 11:14 Les to Spacedog

Texts: Both and the equates the differential. They use a anal based algorithm. Testicular Topography is what your talking bout. The art of personally diagnosis using the shape, size, weight, and circumference of each nut.

Its all Eyeballs & Assholes on Facebook.

EAS: Enlarged Anus Syndrome.

Spunk Bunker Butter & Jazz Jam Sandwiches

Anal Gaping Grandmas.

Amputees with Foot Fetishes. Amputee Porn or “Stump Humping”. The Limp Dick Lounge Act.

Fantasying while jerking off is called an “Ejaculation Vacation.

The Mediterranean Sea home of the Spermicidal Jellyfish. The Jellyfish is comprised of sperm killing antibodies so the harvest them, and mash them into a lubricant.

Cream Pied Grandmas.

Deep Dildo Double Dicking.

The Vagbrator.

Ass Grease Sex Lube

Taint Piercing

Witness the Birth of an Abortion

Ragerrhea: Rage Induced Violently Explosive Diarrhea

Gentalmen Stop Spanking YourMonkeys! Ladies Stop Roughing Up Your Clams! STOP ANIMAL ABUSE! STOP JERKING OFF ANIMALS! STOP ANIMAL MOLESTATION!!

Scientology Mottos: “A Sucker Is Born Every Minute” and “A Fool & His Money Are Soon Separated.

The Pungent Stench Of Sex, The Foul Fumes Of Fucking.

I’ll have the Sucking’n Fucking Salad

Jazzy Juice is your Porn Star Sexual Stimulant Alcoholic Beverage now with 48% More Viagra & Vodka

Vaginal Viagra. All Hail Queen Clitoris & King Dong! Long Dong Silver AWAY!

Junk Stank New Crotch Deoderant

Implantphilia: The fetish where a person gets off fucking surgical implants, the most common being Breat Implants.

Blood Fart: Farting Blood. What if you jerked off so hard you ejaculated a testicle?!! FALLOPIAN TUBE TERRORISM!

Clit Shitting: Defecating on the Clitoris.

Siberian Ichtodeplomia: The Fetish where people get their rocks off fucking each other with frozen feces. OR the fetish where someone where participants fornicate with one another using frozen human feces.

Wednesday 2:19 am: Les to Spacedog

Brown Eye Wash. Vaginal Diarrhea . I can see with the eye of my cock and your a senior citizen when you cum cream of wheat.

Wednesday 4:07 am: Les to SPacedog

Aqua Cock is Deep Sea Dicking.

Wednesday 5:46 am: Spacedog to Les

Text: Double tapered shit. Was giving birth to a bloody fecal fetus. China Whyte. Goofy grape. Pie in my hole. Muff madness. Furkins and lemonade.

Wednesday 7:32 am: Les to Spacedog

Texts: Common Kiddies and I’ll tell you the tale of when the 1 Eyed Worm met the Bearded Clam! Anaconda Cock with the Vertical Smile. Mr. Harry taco.

Whats shittier than smoking Flakka? Smoking Flakka laced with Bath Salts and PCP.

Wednesday 8:53 am: Les to SPacedog

Texts: German Industrial Nipple Clamp All Inclusive Suspension Kit Only $199.99. That shit tweeted my tits.

Turkey Rapists will fuck the stuffing outta your bird.

Her Ass Is Like The Fucking Jaws Of Life. She asked if I wanted to see her Spotted Dick so I asked her if she wanted to see my Freckled Pecker?!

Nothing Like Dipping Your Balls In Fondu

Thursday 12:15am: Les to Spacedog

Remember Kids White Nationalists are Actually NAZIS FUCKERS! White Nationalists only eat White Meat.

Knob Gobbler: A Turkey That Sucks Your Dick.

Toilets EAT SHIT. Pissy Chrissy got shot in the Twat.

Saturday 5:18 pm: Les to Spacedog

Text: Sorry as fuck I missed your call, I’m driving. Their idiots and assholes all over the fucking road, call you back when I get back to the Orifice of an Office, headed to a meeting.

Saturday 5:33 pm: Spaced to Les

Text: Ok, Like a Mom Meeting?

Saturday 5:47 pm: Les to Spacedog

Text: Well not quite that, but it was a Business M-Meeting of a different kind LMFAO!

Saturday 5:58 pm: Spacedog to Les

Text: Murder LOL! My Slave Roots?

Saturday 6:01 pm: Les to Spacedog

Text: Murder? I fucking wish, but that be a legendarily long ass meeting as I have a massive on going list of people I’d like to murder LMFBO! My Slave Roots sounds like some fucking collage radio Indie Emo Band.

Saturday 6:06 pm: Spacedog to Les

Text: It was Jimis Gatage band. Moms against drunk driving? Man against mail genitalia?!

Saturday 6:19 pm: Les to Spacedog

Text: Holy Shit and Holy Hell!!! Mail Order Genitalia! Fucking Fantastic.

 

Thanks For The Read As Always,

Les Sober