I decided on the old spring cleaning today. More like my portable DVD player is gathering dust and I need to find its extension cord. So even though the ideas of what I want to write are running through my head at a blistering pace, like sperm pelting the floor at a bathhouse, I’ve taken the lazy way out and decided to throw up a few brooding poems from about five years ago. I think I wrote them in rehab, hence the plastic bed references casually strewn in there.
Disowned
Why do I work to escape this very moment
When all I should do is tuck it away
How come my darkest world shines so bright
When it only brings me the fear of my plight
The hate in my soul drips forth with blood
While the bluebirds may chirp
I sit here in your mud
It’s like one thousand flavors rattle my cage
Dairy Queen and Lucifer, One and the same
My chest collapses slowly
While I wriggle in pain
Two candy canes half eaten
Melting in the rain
..I feel for my pulse but it’s not to be found
I’ve been riding in your carriage too long
But my soul is nowhere around
You still plague my soul
Even from far, far away
The wax from your candle
It melts my nightmares
Covers up all this dismay
And I used to run, I used to fly
There once was a time I never cried
Your heart it stayed open
Your veins never closed
The moths gracing your light bulbs
They practically glowed
And one day I’ll wake up
Maybe I’ll even truely care
But for this moment in time
This moment I own
Alone in my thoughts
Even though my brain isn’t home
I plot and I ponder.
I sit and I stare.
The tadpole didn’t come home for supper
But I still feel him there
And I know this isn’t reality
Yet it’s certainly not a dream
Just a slice of delusion
In a cherry pie choking on whi9pped cream.
———————————————————————————
and then there is this one. i never titled it. i hate titles. they should die.
———————————————————————————-
All my Johnnys have gone away
While I sat staring out the window
Trying to breathe in the world
When all I saw was the lamp post
And your reflection in a puddle
Then I sailed across the ocean
Looking for you
Looking for him
I wondered where your trail of bread crumbs led
But they only formed some lost circle
Empty of my heart
Crashing up my car
I ate a sundae with marshmellows
It tasted like you
Or wait maybe like him
And I put on some Jimmies
But they were too sweet
You tasted so bitter
Yet it was my dream
I swallowed my dreams
The boat then crashed ashore
My holy father whipped me
I just wanted your chains
To cramp my style
You squeezed my soul so fine
But I’ve lost your scent
The moon doesn’t rise
And your face isn’t on my quarter anymore
Just another dead president
And one day I do know
That something will rise out of the sky
I’d just take the sun
But you are my God
I don’t know if I should try
Yet maybe it’s my destiny
Just smelling you out
I’m not sure though
Because it may not be you
Might have been him
Singing through the birds
Nestling in my head
The queen of hearts left my deck long ago
Suffering without anything to hold onto
My kingdom has lost its peaceful rest.
|
