Well Eye See

So the Other Day while I was Loathing being Trapped once again in a Dismal Waiting Room I struck Up a Conversation with the Gentleman sitting across from Me.

His Name was Flynn who shared in My hatred of Waiting Room bullshit. As we talked the Conversation transitioned into How We agreed that Working for someone else, to be an Employee was something We both found Insufferably Frustrating, and Utterly Unfulfilling to say the least. There is no real sense of Accomplishment since whatever You do only benefits Your Boss/ The Company You in fact reap NO REWARDS for Your Labor. And if there is a chance in Hell Your Boss gives You a fucking Raise it’s such a small raise it’s a fucking insult, not a Bonus for Work Well Done.

Bosses dines at the Giant Corporate Table Feasting on Capitalism until The become Engorge Themselves to the Point of Sickness only to Vomit down Upon the Emplyees, and Expect Them to be fucking Thankful for it.

       

NO ONE wants some total fucking Egotistical Bastard Telling Them what To, Do Ordering Them Around,  Pulling Rank, and Basically having control of a MAJORITY of Their fucking Lives.Your not just Selling Your Time Your selling Your Life, and Enslaving Your Soul.

I mean its an entire Lifetime of Serving Someone which makes You a SERVANT paid to do the Shit Grunt Work that Management doesn’t want to, and for what?! A lousy paycheck that doesn’t even come close to being a fucking fare Wage for all the work You do.

Turns out Flynn abandoned the Rat Race where He was rotting in His Role at a Major Car Insurance Company, Got His Realtor’s License, Got a couple Years experience under His Belt, and then Started His Own Reality Company with a Couple of Friends. Flynn and His Friends Company grew into a Substantial Small Business. Flynn just wanted to Work For Himself, and make a comfortable Living which He finally had accomplished.

Now I asked the most poignant question which was did Flynn in fact have Employees outside of His Friends who He founded the Company with who are all equal Partners so there is No One Singular Boss, and all decisions are put to a Vote where Majority Wins. Flynn was honest and said that Yes there were in fact a Team of 7 beginner Realtor’s who had just gotten Their Realtor Licenses, but No real World Experience in Actual Sales.

       

Flynn must have known what I was think right away that He was a fucking Hypocrite because He just testified to a great end how being a Boss was being a Son of a Bitch, and Employees get Pissed On Constantly. This was an unfair knee jerk reaction as there are ALWAYS EXCEPTION TO THE RULE, and perhaps Flynn was one of Those said Exceptions. And luckily He was.

As it turned out Flynn was running more of a Paid Internship of Sort. First off unlike basically every other Intern Flynn Paid His, and Paid Them a real wage. He didn’t try and financially exploit the Interns by Shorting Their Pay or Underpaying Them by using Their Inexperience as an Excuse. Once an Intern is comfortable and has Clocked some Serious Man Hour’s They move on to Join another Reality Company, Go Out on Their Own or Start Their Own Company.

Flynn also had his Interns working on Real Sales, not just doing Shit work like Editing Listings, or Running to get the Owner’s Coffee/Lunch or any other meaningless tasks that Interns are stuck with instead of ACTUAL REAL EXPERIENCE, and if They do accomplish something Their Superior takes Credit for it because Said Person was on/a member of “Their Team”.

Flynn saw that I was listening to Him instead of sitting judging Him in Silence while He explained Himself. To reassure Me I suppose that He wasn’t blowing smoke up My ass (which I din’t feel that He was or I would have stopped Him mid sentence and said so), and pulled out His Cell Phone, and asked Me if I wanted to see something cool.  Of course I said Sure because it beat the Hell out of the Revoltingly Shitty Waiting Room Art.

Flynn fiddled with His phone for a moment or two then He handed it to Me, and told me to “Check This Out”. It was a series of 2 different Photos on His Phone that were Zoomed in into a Close Up of Flynn’s Eyes. In the first Pick Flynns eyes looked Extremely Happy as if the Picture was taken right After He won the fucking Lottery or some Big Time Shit. In the Other Flynn’s eyes looked Enraged to the point of Murder. I then of course asked Flynn what exactly was the point of the two Pictures especially since they were just Close Ups of His Eyes.

       

Flynn went on to explain that since on one hand He didn’t believe in Yelling, Screaming, Belittling, Cursing, or Insulting His Interns. On the Other Hand He needed to make sure that His Business was Running Smoothly so He Devised the Eye Pictures as a Unique and Innovative Solution. If His Interns were doing a Good Job or had a Good Idea Flynn Texted Them the Happy Eyes, and If His Interns were Falling Short or had a Bad Idea He texted Them the Upset Eyes (Flynn insisted on Upset instead of as I put it Enraged/Angry).

It was then that Flynn’s name was called, and We parted ways. Perhaps if I had had a boss like Flynn I would have such a Seething Contempt for Those in Positions of Authority (Because I fucking HATE anyone Who has or Thinks They have ANY Authority over Me), but Probably Not.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (21/365)

“Look I know You’re young Guys and I could care less if You Guys wanna Drink some Beers or Smoke a little Pot, But NOT on My time, NOT on My dime You hear Me?” asked Bob in a  Authoritative Tone that resembled a Stern, but Fair Father Figure more than a Boss.

“I here You loud and clear Sir.” replied Lee being sure to sound as Sincere as He actually was.

“I’m not joking here I don’t need any extra bullshit to deal with. I already got a heaping helping of Everyday Bullshit on My damn Plate. This is a Business and I’m not in the Bullshit Business. This isn’t a damn Manure Factory for Christ’s sake You know what the hell I’m saying?” said Bob who was beginning to sound a bit worked up.

      

Bob walked over to the Office’s Big Plate Glass window and peered out Purveying the Gas Station from one end to the Other as if He was standing Guard. Bob then turned to Lee and sighed before offering Lee the Job which Lee gladly took.

“Now I don’t wanna come off like a hardass here, But I’m dead serious I don’t tolerate a bunch of juvenile bullshit. You gotta see where I’m coming from.” said Bob exasperatedly, “There was this one time a couple of the Boys who were off work swung on by to keepTheir Buddy who working the Overnight Shift from 11pm to 7am company. Well They’re hanging out and decided since it had gotten so damn late that there wasn’t a single damn car out on the Road more or less one needing a fill up.”

       

Bob wondered behind the Office Desk as He talked and started to fuck around with some of the Work Order’s on the Counter. Lee couldn’t help at this point thinking Bob looked like Mario’s (from the Classic Super Mario Brothers Video Game) lesser known Older Brother Antonio or some shit.

“Anyway These geniuses go buy some beer from the Connivence Store across the way there, and started knocking them back.” continued Bob as He started to fiddle with the Computer Mouse while squinting at the screen ignorer to see what it said before finally continuing the Story.

     

“So its the following Day which was a Saturday so that’s a busier Day around here being the Weekend and All. Well around lunch it was around 1 in the afternoon if I remember it right a big old wind started blowing. Well wouldn’t you know it all of a sudden You know what starts blowing down off the Roof?” asked Bob fustratedly, “Damn Empty Beer cans. The Guys thought it was funny to throw Their empty’s from the previous Night up on the damn Roof instead of just chucking them in the damn Trash Dumpster.  So as a result I now had a barrage of Beer Cans flying off the Roof with every Gust of Wind pelting My Workers, The Customer’s, The damn Pumps, and worst of all the Customer’s Cars. And on top of it all the damn things are scattered all over the damn Lot rolling all around like a bunch of aluminum tumbleweeds or some damn thing. It was a complete mess, and damn near killed off My customer base because No One wants to deal with that bullshit just getting some damn Gas You know.”

      

Stay Tuned Kiddies for Tomorrow’s Exciting Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (22/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (17/365)

Goddamnit! Lee thought not because He was moments away from being seriously fucking Fired by a Furious Fran or anything like that. Lee was annoyed because Fran was going interfere with Him getting to see the Conclusion of the Parking Lot Lunacy.

“LEE WHAT THE HOLY FUCK IS GOING ON?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS WHAT THE FUCK AM I LOOKING AT?!!” Screamed Fran like a goddamn Airhorn. It wasn’t so much because He was infuriated, but mainly to be heard over the Sea of Sound in the Parking Lot.

      

“What the Hell Fran this shit is some act of God shit I didn’t fucking plan for this shit to happen for fuck’s sake.” said Lee indignantly even though He knew His firing would play out this way. Lee knew He would be unfairly held accountable for the insane shit that was far beyond His control in the first fucking place, but He’d be damned if He didn’t Go Out Swinging.

“How did you let this happen, and why did you let it get totally out of fucking control?” Demanded Fran who’s Blood Pressure was so high His face was flushed making Him look like He had a fucking 3rd degree Sunburn.

          

“They just showed up and jumped the shit out of Me. I was concerned that perhaps the Little Old Lady at the Door was perhaps a tad senile and might be lost. I unlocked the Door to see if She need assistance, and Her Anti-Porn Posse shoved Their way in. Next fucking thing I know Their fucking rioting and wrecking the Joint.”Lee replied matter of factly as He stood His ground.

“Well goes without saying that as of this moment You’re fucking Fired. Give Me Your Key.”said Fran through clenched Teeth now on the verge of having a Full Blown Stroke.

        

Lee figured fuck it there wasn’t any point in arguing since He didn’t actually give a shit about the Job, and has thoroughly enjoyed the Events of the Day. Lee took the Shop Key off His Keyring and tossed it lamely in Frans direction before getting in His Car. As Lee drove off (down Route 22 to the Prospects of a Better Job to come) He shot a quick glance in His review mirror to get a final look at the Spectacular Sex Shop Showdown, and Smiled with Satisfaction.

Stay Tuned Kids for Tomorrows Enticing Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (18/365)

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober