Tag: Bots

Pressure Sales Are For Idiots, Imbeciles, and Assholes

I don’t know about You up I for One absolutely fucking Hate Pressure Sales made most Popular by Car Salesmen. I swear to God I have no fucking Idea WHY any Salesperson would think that a Good Sales Strategy to get in a Customer’s Face and Badger Them, Bullshit Them, Hassle Them, and Ignore what the Customer is Saying (Especially when the Customer pushes back or resisted the Salesperson’s Pitch). If I walk into any Place of Business and a Salesman runs up on Me with that fucking Smarmy Fake “I’m Your Friend, I’m here For You” Routine I immediately Walk Out. And to be utterly Honest Not only would I leave instantly at this point in My Life, but I’d Curse them out for being an Asshole just for being an Asshole at that Point.

Now recently though I honestly have No fucking Why because I have Great fucking Health Insurance and Thank fucking God for That. That Aside I have been getting way too Many Sales Calls from a Variety of  Assholes trying to Sell Me fucking Health Insurance. I finally had enough and Cursed the Last Health Insurance Salesman to Hell and Back I assure You.

           

I then Started getting fucking Robo Calls Asking if I was interested in a Health Insurance Quote. I quite obviously selected Choice #2 The Opt Out Option, but I still received several additional Robo calls before They finally fucking Stopped. Needless to Say I was far from fucking Thrilled about the First Robo Calls continuing the Attempt for Some Shady Insurance Salesman Scumbag to Sell Me Health Insurance.

Then just a Couple of Days ago the Insurance Shits decided to Text Me Now which again is fucking Ridiculous as far as I’m concerned. I mean I didn’t want to Talk to Them, I Didn’t Opt to Talk to Them, so Why the fuck did They think Texting ME would Work?! Now obviously NOT an Actual Person I was exchanging the Following Texts with thats a Given. With that Said the Fact of the Matter is Someone (A Person) had to Program the Tech to Respond in the manner in which it did. That in My mind is Equally as Insane as a Real Person Texting Me this Happy Horseshit.

          

Anyways Heres the Text Exchange Verbatim:

Sales Bot: Hey Les! Hey this is the insurance enrollment center. Want to see if we can save you money on your current health insurance plan? Reply Stop if you do not need a Quote.

Les: STOP!

*3 Minutes Later and Guess Who Texting Me Yep You Got it, and while I’m at it I’d like to Point Out that the Alleged Company Name is/was The Insurance Enrollment Center at First may sound find First, BUT when You think about it for a minute it’s a Totally Bullshit Name. It’s the kind of Generically Vague yet somewhat smiler sounding names Indian Phone Scammers come up with to Use. Any which way I digress for Now.*

        

Sales Bot: Hey Les! Hey this is the insurance enrollment center. want to see if we can save you money on your current health insurance plan? Reply Stop if you do not need a quote.

Les: STOP! STOP! STOP! This is the fucking second fucking time I have replied fucking STOP so STOP ASSHOLES.

Sales Bot: I understand, but a few minutes of your time could save you over $100 per month in healthcare costs. Is now a good time to call?

Les: FUCK OFF CUNTS!

Sales Bot: Thank you for your time. If you would like a healthcare quote, give us a call at this number and we go over your options. You will receive no further communication from us.

Les: Fuck You.

        

Again I have No fucking Clue Why someone would Program a Bot or Algorithm bullshit to ignore the Potential Customer even when Verbally Assaulted with virtually anything more than The Foulest of Words. Also if You noticed They kept trying to Sell Me on Their So Called Services all the way to the Absolute End. They leave off reminding Me first and Foremost that if I need Health Insurance to Give Them a Call. What the Fuck.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

For Shits & Giggles

I’m writing this because it happened 2 days ago and its still bouncing around in my brain.

It was around 6:30 pm and I was in the backyard doing some mundane “Yard Work” when my cell phone started ringing. I walked over to answer it and it turned out to be a rather up to date Automated Messaging System.  The Gentleman’s voice on the other end of the line informed me that the local police in the Great Southern Swamp were soliciting donations. As I don’t live in that god forsaken shithole swamp combined with the fact I have NO LOVE, Respect,Trust or Faith in the Police I interrupted the Automated Message Man by blurting out the famous/infamous NWA slogan “Fuck The Police.”

The Automated message paused during my statement and when I was done talking it promptly said something to the effect of “Thank You for your time and Have a Good Day Good-Bye” and disconnected itself by hanging up.

Now here is where I get hung up on the whole thing.

Whoever designed that specific Police Donation Solicitation program had designed to respond to negative answers/comments such as the usual:

  1. Don’t Call Again
  2. Take me off your list
  3. No.
  4. Not right now….
  5. The Resident Hanging up prematurely
  6. No Thank you
  7. I don’t wish to donate
  8. Go Away/ Leave me alone
  9. Not Interested
  10. Not Today…

But the creator also took the time and attention to go one step farther outside of the preverbal box by adding the remark of “Fuck The Police” as a negative response and that the Automated system will end the phone call.

Heres my question to the programs designer:

“Why?! Why  did you feel it was necessary or see a definitive  reason for acknowledging the possible response of “Fuck The Police?!”

Think About That For A Minute, Just Chew That Over In Your Cranium.

Thanks For The Read

Les Sober