Pick Up Artists Are Fucking Frauds

I’ve been meaning to write something on this subject for quite awhile but basically forgot about it. The other Day however I was rifling through countless Notebooks and Shit reviewing My Numerous Notes, and Low and Behold I saw a Note about doing a Pick Up Artist Piece. Since there is No Time like the Present as They say so Here We Go.

            

So what the fuck is a Pick Up Artist? Well Their a Bunch of Over Zealous Frat Boy Date Rapist Douchebags who run around like They Bleed Red Bull with this Fake Bravado claiming to have Fail Safe Techniques to get Guys Laid. They go as far as to create bullshit Persona’s for Themselves (based on the Alpha Male Mythology) like Their fucking Rappers or Comic Book Superheroes which is Pretty fucking Lame. They basically try Their damnedest to Emulate the Stereotypical Macho Assholes They think Woman want to Be with a Great Deal of Overkill (A Perfect Example is Tom Cruise’s Fictional Character in the Movie Magnolia). Point being They’re Fake as Fuck from the Get Go.

What do Pick Up Artists (Who I will now refer to as Pick Up Assholes since that’s a far more accurate description) Do? Well essentially They prey on Shy, Insecure, Introverted, and Socially Anxious Gullible Guys Who have legit issues when it comes to Relating to Women. They Promise if the Guys follow (aka Pay For) Their “Techniques” that They are guaranteed to be transformed into a Slick, Suave Ladies Man that Woman will Line Up to have Sex With. These  Techniques to Trick Women into Sleeping with You are so fucking convoluted (Not to Mention Overly Complicated as well) they come off like so sort of Hybrid of Military Code crossed with Advanced Calculous.

              

The Pick Up Asshole recruits New Clients the same fucking way a Drug Dealer Does it’s the same fucking Method. The Process starts off Free via Youtube Video Suggestions that Lead the User down a Youtube Rabbit Hole of this Pick Up Asshole indoctrination. Next the Client is coherst into taking the Next Step which is Purchasing Several Hundreds of Dollars worth of Pick Up Asshole Books and so called Study Materials. Then once the Guy is Hooked their directed to take it up to the Next Level by attending a Paid Seminar which lets face it are Glorified Ted Talks. And These Scam Seminars aren’t cheap not by a fucking long shot as They Run $1,000 to $3000 depending on Who’s Charging. Scam Seminars can be Half a day up to 3 Days and Again the Longer the Seminar the Higher the Ticket Price.

NOW FOR MY REAL POINT. These Pick Up Assholes operate like a wannabe Secret Society with Heavily Guarded and Allegedly Flawless Techniques that also Assumes Women Don’t know Anything About Them. Thus like a Magician or Illusionist for the Techniques to Work You Don’t tell a Single Soul how the Trick(s) are Done. I mean it’s Far Easier to Win a Game if the Other Opponent doesn’t Know They’re Playing. Point Being that the Whole Pick Up Asshole Sub Culture is based on and Thrives on these Alleged Techniques to Manipulate  Woman into Sleeping with You.

                

Here is the the Argument My Point is Based on which is How the fuck is a Secret Society Effective if Everyone Knows about it. You Don’t see the fucking Free Masons running around Explaining Themselves to the Outside World. You See in 2007 one of The Pick Up Asshole’s Major Players who goes by Nickname Mystery had a Reality TV Show Literally called “The Pick Up Artist”. The show was a moderate success and Lasted for Two Season from August 6, 2017 through November 30, 2008 that was Broadcast on National fucking Television. The entire Premise of the Shitty Show was Nine Male Contestants who are Unlucky in Love/With the Ladies get Pointers in the “Fine Art” of picking up Woman from Self Proclaimed Seduction Artist Mystery and His two Wingmen, Tara and Matador. The Show presented all the Tricks of the Trade again to a National Audience for Two fucking Years in a Row, and These Pick Up Assholes never realized WOMEN WATCH TV TOO WOMEN LIKE REALITY TV SHOWS/COMPETITIONS TOO. The Ultimate Result was instead of Boosting Cliental and Their Bank Accounts the Pick Up Artists taught Women that this Bullshit Exists, AND How it’s Done.

The Show had Exposed and Explained all of the Pick Up Bullshit to an Audience that included MILLIONS of Women thus rendering the Systems Useless. The Jig Was Up. Luckily for the Scumfuck Pick Up Artists Time Passes and People’s Memories Fade Away so the Industry went back Underground and regrouped from Pick Up Artist Show clusterfuck.

            

Fast Forward to 2020 and as I mentioned Earlier the Pick Up Artists have Gravitated to Youtube to Promote Their Ridiculous Horseshoe. Now it makes sense that in the Age of Social Media that Anyone with a Business would Use it as a Major PR Tool. How do You keep Your Techniques a Secret from Women when Your Posting Video after Video Advertising, Demonstrating, and Showcasing Your Brand of Techniques?! And Not to Beat a Dead Horse here, BUT WOMEN WATCH YOUTUBE TOO so again these Pick Up Assholes are Shooting Themselves in the fucking Foot. Secret Techniques DON’T WORK if Everyone Especially the Target Group KNOWS ALL ABOUT THEM for Fuck’s Sake. These Assholes need to Buy a fucking Dictionary and Look Up the Definition of Detrimental.

Thats the Equivalent of say During World War 2 America called up the Japanese Military and said “Oh Hey America here We just wanted to inform You wWe have invented the Biggest and Deadliest Bomb Known to Man. It’s called an Atom Bomb and We’re going to Drop one on Hiroshima on August 6th, and one on Nagasaki on August 9th. It will cause Mass Destruction and Death so Stay Tuned.” It’s also like America calling Osama Bin Ladin and saying “Hey There Bunny Old Boy we have a Elite Navy Seal Team in Route to Your Locations so Please Stay Put.” And the Simplest Metaphor would be a Bank Robber standing in front of a Bank in a Ski Mask waving His Gun Around and Screaming at the top of his Lungs “HEY EVERYBODY I’M ABOUT TO ROB THIS FUCKING BANK RIGHT HERE!!!! Its Utterly fucking Moronic Seriously Who does shit like that? No One Thats fucking Who.

              

You may be wondering at this point Why then would these Outrageous Assholes still be Doing what They’re Doing in spite of the Aforementioned Reasons that due to Over Exposure the Pick Up Artists Fieldi s an  Increasingly Futile Venture? The Answer is Simple They do it for the Attention and the Money the two things these Over Rated Con Artists are Really Interested in. I Mean really Who cares if Everyone Knows Your full of fucking shit if there Still Poor Suckers out there Buying all Your Bullshit Merchandise and Tickets to Your Shitty Seminars.

The Saddest part of the Whole Pick Up Asshole Scams are when al is said and done the Client is Out Hundreds to Thousands of Dollars, have a bunch of Utterly Useless Materials and Techniques. The Worst part is on Top of all that They Still Can’t Score with the Ladies. Even if You Play Devil’s Advocate and let’s say all the bullshit Techniques actually worked it still Ends Badly. Hooking Up is Fun when You’re Young, but there comes that time when on Day You wake up and go “I’m tired of all this bullshit.” ,and then realize You want more out of Life than just Meaningless Sex. The Problem is if all You know is How to Hook Up with Women You’re left out in the Cold in the End. That’s because You don’t have a fucking Clue about having or maintaining an Actual Relationship be it Long Term or Otherwise. Essential it doesn’t matter which Path You choose to take They both end up in an Isolated and Alienated Existence Absolutely Alone.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

(P1:21amT)

The Cell Phone Show Down

One night after having a few beers I decided to call up my Brother in Law who I hadn’t spoken with in some time. Now I had several phone numbers for my Brother in Law since he was a rather active guy shall we say.

Anyway I called the primary number that I had been able to reach him on only to discover it had been Recycled, and now it had be assigned to some unknown random woman. I hung up as soon as I  heard the voicemail thinking that was rather strange. Had my Brother in Law ditched one number, but hadn’t given (to my knowledge) a new number to anyone?! My Brother in Law is also know for his extreme impulsiveness so I had to also wonder if there was a scheme afoot.

Well just a minute or two after I attempted to call my Brother in Law my phone’s text alert went off. I picked it up to check the new text it without looking to see who the fuck was actually texting me.

This is where the Shitnado of Absurdity started and would go on to span a couple of hours.

I checked my phone to find it was some fucking Guy texting who I had no fucking clue who the hell he was. I was pondering what the fuck was going on. Well it didn’t take long to find out.

This was in fact the Boyfriend of the nameless, faceless, unknown Woman who was now in possession of my Brother in Law’s old Cell Number. And just my fucking luck he’s one of those Overtly Paranoid Untrusting Jealous Controlling Assholes.

Now I’m going to take a minute to address this type of fucking Guy. I have no fucking clue whatsofuckingever why a Woman would date nor stay with this type of Guy.

This is the sneaky son of a bitch that checks his girl friends phone every chance he gets behind her back.

This is the kind of Shit that thinks every other guy at the Bar is eyeballing his girlfriend, and more often than not it leads to a drunken jealousy fueled fight. And more times than not its also where the asshole boyfriend gets his teeth kicked in.

This is the type of Scumbag that tries or succeededs in controlling his girlfriend’s make up, clothing, and friends through bullshit manipulation.

This is the kind of prick that thinks every one of his girlfriends coworkers is hitting on her daily, and spends his whole day keeping tabs on his girlfriend like a fucking Stalker.

Essentially these type of Guy’s are SO FUCKING INSECURE that it breeds this paranoia of losing said girlfriend causing the said boyfriend to rashly assume that anything with a penis wants to bang his girlfriend, AND/OR he’s afraid she actually doesn’t care for him that much (in this case the jealous Guy is EXTREMELY CLINGY I’m talking about that “You’re Suffocating Me” type shit) and will dump him in an instant.

Granted Clingy sucks to no fucking end BUT its the lesser of 2 evils. Having a Jealous, paranoid, and controlling boyfriend (trying to dictate every aspect of his girlfriend’s fucking life like she’s a fucking slave) SUCKS WORSE.

Now back to our story already in progress…….

So His initial Texts where: Wanting to know who I was, Why was I calling, and that this was his girlfriends phone.

In return I Texted: You texted me so who are you, I told him I was trying touch with my Brother in Law, and got his girlfriends voice fucking mail by accident.

After that he starts acting like the tool that he is. He sends me a screen shot of his girlfriends recent call list with my number highlighted. Now I never denied calling because I did, BUT I had no idea the number  had been Recycled to some fucking girl.

Being a Jealous Boyfriend the asshole said he didn’t buy it, and I better stay away from his girlfriend. I could just see this fuck on the other end of the line so to speak standing all tall, puffing out his chest for all its fucking worth, Glaring like a angry drunk hawk, and pacing frantically periodically looking out the windows as he passes for some threat thats not fucking there.

I basically didn’t give a rats ass from the beginning and couldn’t help thinking how many people have accidentally texted or called this girl only to have to deal with her dick of a boyfriend (bitchfriend is more like it.) At this point I really didn’t give a good goddamn about this overly jealous, insecure piece of human shit. I thusly ended the whole bullshit exchange with the alright my fucking bad whatever I deleted the number since its obviously no use to me. And that was that. Well for a few brief minutes anyway.

I decided that if the primary cell number that I called my Brother in Law on was Recycled then what about the secondary number I had. Me being Me and rather drunk came to the conclusion the best thing to do is call it, and find out if the number worked, was Recycled or possibly disconnected.

As it turned out that my Brother in Law’s alternate phone number had also been Recycled again I got some random girls voicemail. I hung up immediately and deleted the number figuring this situation was rather fucked up. LOW AND FUCKING BEHOLD this number too had been Recycled to the same previous asshole. Why the hell did his girlfriend apparently have come into possession of BOTH fucking numbers was baffling as hell.

Needless to say this set the little motherfucker off like a fucking rocket. This time around the little punk ass had the artificial confidence to call me up this time to chat about what the fuck was going on. As I stated I had no fucking idea, and couldn’t get over how utterly moronic this shit was. And now this paranoid and jealous little twat of a boyfriend thinks for sure that I’m scamming on his girlfriend.

The first idea that came to my mind on how to handle this horeshit was the old make him think your fucking insane, some real sick fuck that cuts off people’s heads and wears them as a fucking hat type of a Murderous Madman a real life Slasher Movie. Then I thought how cliche that shit was and opted for a new idea. The new idea turned out to be making this little turd think HE’S THE ONE WHO’S SANITY IS SLIPPING essentially flip flopping the original idea/concept.

This is how it all went down in operation “Its Not Me Who’s Crazy, Thats YOU”.  For his part this Jack Ass spewed the normal line of macho bullshit cliques (doing his damnedest to make me think he was 10 feet tall and fucking bullet proof) like Propaganda for Pricks. It was SUCH OVERKILL the Guy was trying WAAAAY TOO Hard to be the almighty Alfa. What an Asshole.

In reality I imagine this little bitch was about 5 feet nothing, weighed about 90 pounds soaking fucking wet, Whiny, All Bark and NO BITE like a Tiny Toy Chihuahua. You’ve heard this shit before and I for one from what I have seen of the World am inclined to agree. Real Tough Guy/ Bad Asses DON’T WASTE THEIR TIME YELLING ABOUT IT WHILE HURLING THREATS AND INSULTS. They know they can kick the shit out of pretty much anyone so there is no reason for them to try and impress people.

I didn’t really have a set plan per say I just ad-libbed and then went from there. It started by me repeatedly telling him that the phone he is calling is STRICTLY a Business Phone. After a while of that I added that ONLY AUTHORIZED People have access to this phone. Again taking a few minutes to repeat this as much as possible BECAUSE its all about REPETITION, REPETITION, REPETITION.

Now before anyone feels the need to point this out theres no need. What I’m talking about is this I DID SWITCH my original story. Originally I told this Putts I accidentally called which was the truth, BUT to aid in my new game of “Who’s Crazy Now” as it were I SWITCHED my stance to I DIDN’T call you. Why you ask?! Well its simply because I needed to switch to keep the game going is all.

At this point the Butthead Boyfriend is getting confused. He can’t figure out why I’m not acting like an asshole too and yelling a bunch of bullshit trying to out macho his punk ass. He also is beginning to lock on the whole Business Phone Story which only serves to increase his confusion. So now he’s running out of steam having screamed himself fucking silly.

This is where I ramp things up. I start speaking in a aggressively Authoritarian Voice like a Law Enforcement does for example. I am now speaking to him like he’s a irritating child that got caught red handed doing some shit they shouldn’t. Some would call it ‘Talking Down” or “Being Condescending” and I would agree with both summations.

I start to shove the I didn’t call you from this phone which so happens to be a highly restricted Business Phone of some unknown sort. I start hammering the little Snot with the line “NO ONE is Authorized to make PERSONAL CALLS on THIS PHONE”

He has no clue now what the fuck is happening, he’s been so thrown off his macho bullshit ranting that he’s begging to flounder. The tables were starting to turn.

I then launched into “I DON’T KNOW who called you from this phone, But if we find out who they are they will be SEVERELY REPRIMANDED for their egregious actions.”

I’m now employing more militant or governmental type of speaking. This poor bastard now was beginning to get nervous that HE was in some sort of Danger. I then just unleashed like a Monumental Shitacane. I informed him that We had no clue who the fuck was violating a strict no personal phone calls from our exclusive Business Only phone. We would find out who called his girlfriends phone hell or high water. That NO ONE was Authorized to use this phone without selectively been given clearance. I went on to say I didn’t appreciate him being difficult and he should reconsider his behavior. I told him then to just drop his despicable attitude because it wouldn’t help him in the long run. This conversation was in fact being recorded (without a reason why given). He’s wasting my time with this trivial nonsense was not a wise decision.

The sad little fucker now is in a state of shock, confusion, and paranoia with good reason. Without acting like a typical macho male Jersey Shore Shithead he had no idea how to deal with the situation, and now had lost any and all control of the phone call. He was left wondering if I was somehow a Cop or Law Enforcement Agent, A Member of Biker Club, Political Group, Religious Group, A Governmental Agency, The Masons or possibly a Militia of some kind. There was no actual context so he became pledged by self doubt, and then had a mental melt down.

Seeing that the game had run its course and getting bored with the whole ordeal decided to end this shit circus once and for all. I told the little Pisser that enough was enough. This conversation was now over. Whoever called his girlfriend had violated Authorization of a Business Phone, and would not call back ever. They would be facing Strict Punishment. He then mumbled some garbage I assume was a last pitiful attempt at being a Big Man I mean his brain was fucking soup at this point the poor son of a bitch.

I then lastly took the time to inform him that if he called back he would be in direct violation of our mutual Cease and Desist agreement (which I made up right then and there there was no agreement of any fucking kind), and We would be keeping tabs on him in the future (thus playing into the paranoia of being watched and possibly  being in or getting into trouble in the future.)

To This day I have never spoke with that little Dimwitted Douche again. I do ponder from time to time when I have a free moment to think (like when I’m eating or taking a leak) what the fuck did he tell his girlfriend happened that night or did he just not mention it at all because he still had no idea wtf was going on. Either which way heres looking at you ASSHOLE.

Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober