Tag: car dealership

Conflicting Karma Continues

As some Reader’s may be aware July was a real fucker, but for those who don’t heres a quick summation.

My 10 year old plus Vehicle took a huge shit returning from a rather kick ass road trip. It was asshole of an Alternator so. Next day the Check Transmission light came on, after a waste of my time transmission was fixed. That didn’t happen, a part within the transmission “blew” (the Transmission Guy’s words interpret as you will), and We had to cancel a Birthday Road trip for my Wife.l. Thank Fuck for WARRANTIES! All good Now.

Meanwhile my Wife’s  10 year old Car was at the point where We weren’t going to put another fucking nickel into it. It be an utter waste to invest anymore money in a car that was showing its age, had some minor issues, and some mysterious electrical problem (Toyota Dealer Mechanics couldn’t figure out what exactly it was). We went online like assholes and discovered the electrical issues more than likely was the for warning of a Failing Fuel Pump. The Fuel Pump would cost $1,800 alone so it be $2,000 and change by the end of it for Labor, Taxes, and extraneous bullshit.

So my Wife felt unsafe driving her car anymore so it was the next step is trade this thing in before it takes a total shit on us leaving us out one car. It sucked like nothing else on this planet, it is a truly unique suck. Overtime you had to turn her car on you prayed it fucking start, and then while your driving the son of a bitch you were praying it wouldn’t break down for the last fucking time.

After We had to cancel my Wife’s awesome Birthday Road Trip do to emergency transmission issue reoccurrence. Luckily my Wife had already jumped on the new car train and thoroughly researched various cars she was interested in. And since she knew what she had a top 5 list we decided to check out Dealerships that had one, some or all of the her said choices.

Now to get to any actual real Dealership (Podunk Mitch’s Auto Super Sales holds no water whatsoever.) were all an hour away in the Shitty City. So off we went to check out some possible options for a new car for My Wife. The road to the Shitty City sucks King Kong Cock to drive on. Its currently 2 lanes of heavy traffic bumper to pumper type shit, but they are also doing what seems to be a 1,000 year construction project. This apparently never ending road work requires a wall of cement barricades be lined up like a poor man’s Great Wall preventing all traffic from turning right even say in an emergency attempt to avoid being hit by some jack ass driver.

With that fucking said about half way down the road to the Shitty City to go car shop for my Wife we were spectacularly hit by one of those previously mentioned Jack Ass Drivers.

As We were driving in the left lane next to the cement barriers that went on for fucking miles upon miles when I hear my Wife say something. Now it was;t what she said that got my attention it was the tone of voice she was using. It was the “Oh fuck this shit isn’t gonna be good” type of tone. So I looked over to see her looking over right before the Jack Ass Driver took the fucking rearview mirror of in an explosive fashion.

The Jack Ass Driver pulled into the median and we followed suit. For obvious safety reasons I exited through the Drivers Door to avoid the very real risk of getting plastered by any one of the millfucktillion speeding motherfuckers.

When my Wife got out god bless her she was rattled as the Snake, but overtly concerned about the overall well being of the Jack Ass that just side wiped the holy hell out of us. I scramble out of the drivers side like a baby calf being born and immediately go fucking Nuclear. I started screaming “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”, “FUCK WHERE YOU DOING?!!”, and “YOU TOTALLY FUCKED UP OUR CAR WHAT THE FUCK?!”

It turned out the Jack Ass Driver was in fact a young girl about or around 17 or 18 who was driving her father’s fucking massive SUV so there was no damage to her vehicle not a single fucking scratch. She was quite upset as this was her first accident ever apparently.

Now this wasn’t my first accident by far, but man it was a doozy. The Girl had first hit the Drivers side rear quarter panel. Then her dad’s SUV scrapped across the rear driver’s side door shredding the god living shit out of it. Next the same deal with the driver’s door, and ending with the rearview mirror being completely amputated.

I contacted our insurance people, My Wife called the Cops, and the Girl was Calling Her Parents then Insurance company.

All the while all I could think was that while I did under  my anger I did feel bad for this girl it was totally fucked how different our realities were. For her she would return home shaken but safe, possibly have to pay her Dad back for the fucking hefty ticket, and perhaps lose her driving privileges for I dunno couple weeks to a month?!

Meanwhile for my Wife and I it meant whole lot more. It meant that this crappy kid driver (who was fucking with her phone more than not) had absolutely fucked us out of the last thing we had going (the trade in value) in the “Battle of the Old Ass Cars” because we could live without one, BUT that meant we still needed one safe and reliable car for work to pay the fucking bills.

We then spent the next fucking hour or so baking in the median while again trying not to get fucking killed by the mad ass drivers on the highway. Finally a fucking Cop shows the hell up. This dick gets both my Wife’s and the Girls licenses and announces we’re going to drive to the next exit to a gas station (if you decided not to show he had all the info needed to issue a warrant mind you), and sort things out because and I quote ‘We don’t want to get killed out here.” Now while that makes perfect fucking sense the reality of it is He knew it was dangerous. YET he had no fucking issue leaving us stranded out there for an hour. Fucking Cops.

We drove to the gas station where the Cop ticketed the Girl, the Girl’s goddamn parents show up, My Wife is way too nice, I continued  aggressively venting about how fucked up all this fucked up shit is, and we all went our separate ways.

In the End: We got my Wife a fucking AWESOME NEW CAR the next day, and (My Vehicle has remained issue free as well) thanks to the accident the Girl’s insurance cut us a check for couple thousand and change (plus we did manage to get some cash for the trade in but it barely beat the Junk Yard) so we end up coming out ahead. Can’t argue when life throws you a bone rather than a bastard.

Thanks for Reading, Les Sober.

(P.S. THIS IS THE LAST POST ABOUT FUCKING CARS.)

Treacherous Toyota and Prius Propaganda

10 years ago Toyota introduced the World to The Prius, and simultaneously perpetrated one of the greatest Scams the American Public has ever known. Toyota struck with the Prius right as the GIANT FUCKING MONSTROSITY SUV craze was dwindling due to rising gas prices at the time.

Also people still felt guilt as hell about their part in fucking over the Earth with their glutinous consumerism so the terms “Going Green” and “Carbon Footprint” were just taking hold as they slowly entered the American Lexicon.

So of course Toyota formulated a 3 Prong Attack strategy to get as much as possible from their new vehicular sensation. Toyota wasn’t fucking around either, they were going for the Long Haul.

The first Point in Toyota’s 3 Point Plan was the most obvious which was to capitalize on Prius Hybrid Hype like a son of a bitch. Toyota made sure as shit to Advertise and EXPLOIT THE SHIT OUT the unparalleled gas milage, and the interests of the new surge in Environmentally Conscious Customers.

Bottom Line: Toyota did its best to Flood the fucking market by getting as many Prius’s on the road as humanly possible. Toyota was effectively Force Feeding their Product to the American Customer. The word Hybrid was on the tip of everyones fucking tongue.

But really thats no fucking different than any other Car Manufacturer with Cars to sell. Nothing new there. Toyota luckily had hit the PR jack Pot, BUT as I said Toyota was in it for the Long Haul.

Toyota wanted not only to capitalize on the 1st series Prius’s they wanted to help cement the future sales of subsequent future Prius series.

Now we all know how much a Car Dealership fucking sucks. Their inconvenient as hell, and the Most EXPENSIVE when it comes to repairs. Toyota’s second part of their plan was much more devious than just selling the shit outta cars while pissing gas on the PR fire as it were.

Toyota moving quietly and staying of the Radar started to recruit any and all  graduating Mechanics who had been trained to work on hybrids to their Dealerships. See by poaching all the new hybrid mechanics Toyota set up a system that made the customer HAVE TO USE THE DEALERSHIP REPAIR SHOP because their were virtually NO HYBRID Mechanics working outside of a said Toyota Dealership.

The Bottom Line: Toyota was creating its own monopoly of Hybrid Mechanics.

Now the 3rd and final part of Toyota’s plan for longevity was the most underhanded yet. Now you have to remember that Hybrid Cars were a brand new technology, and like with anything new people were a bit afraid of it. The main thing that the Public seemed fixated on was the Hybrid’s High Voltage Battery.

In the Brain’s association game it hear High Voltage and immediately draws a parallel to the High Voltage wires that run along Telephone Poles and similar shit. We have all seen the bright orange warning signs before that read “DANGER HIGH VOLTAGE WIRES” usually with a Triangle with a lighting bolt zig zagging through it. SO right from the get go the fear factor is in play.

Toyota preyed upon this psychological fear until it reached an Urban Legend Level. The fear is pretty basic. Its the fear that some how or some way (especially if your a Auto Mechanic) will come in contact with the High Voltage Battery and electrocute themselves to an unpleasant death.

Yet like all things the fear evolved getting worse with each subsequent version. It got so out of control that it created paranoia through out the entire Automotive Mechanic Industry.

As if to say if a unfortunate Mechanic came in contact with the High Voltage Battery that he/she would be electrocuted to the point your skin burned. And your eyes explode as your intentions shoot out your ass like a fucking shot gun show down at the High Voltage Hacienda.

Not only that but due to the accident at hand the Mechanics entire extended family would contacts full blown Aids, their House would burn down, their car would blow the hell up,the mechanics friends would all die in horrible ways, and their dog would be picked up by Animal Care and Control and Euthanized.

Like I said this perpetuated fear of the High Voltage Battery not only urged the Public, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY it reenforced the idea Toyota had set out which was “Only a Trained Toyota Dealership Mechanic can Work Safely on a Prius. This discouraged the competition from even entertaining the idea of even trying to learn more or less work on Prius’s.

The GOOD NEWS is Toyota’s Hybrid Mechanic Monopoly and the Age of High Voltage Battery Paranoia is slowly but definite End. Now that a growing variety of Toyota’s competitors have Hybrids of their own Toyota is no longer Unique.

Also the issue with the poaching of Hybrid Mechanic Grads is phasing it self as well. As more and more future and graduating Mechanics get into the Hybrid repair field Toyota can’t hire them all. Not enough money and, not enough Toyota Dealerships to continue an on going attempt to preserve the dying monopoly.

Well some cliches are cliches for a reason (their true) and Toyota learned that with the clique “All Good Things Must Come To An End.”

  Thanks for Reading,

Les Sober