Tag: cat fishing

Tumblr Sugar Daddy Wants To Give Me a $700 Allowance!

I was on Tumblr the other day (and yes it still exists though its in a digital purgatory of sorts like MySpace and shit) when I saw I had a message. Me being me I ignored the shit out of it until I finally thought fuck it and read it. Now I get the occasional message but this one was really different from the rest. It took out like a sore fucking thumb that’s for sure. You see I do get messages from time to time and its just the usual some other User popping in to say Hi and that they like my content or some other shit.

Now don’t engage anyone online or on social media not because I’m anti social (thats Les’s fucking job LMFAO!) its the fact I general assume that everyone online is either and idiot, asshole, or troll. What I’m saying is this message was random as fuck and absolutely unsolicited. This was the text equivalent of a robo call like the ones used by various scammers to find potential victims. Whoever it is was just blanket messaging the shit out of who the fuck know how many people this is the “Let’s throw a bunch of shit at the wall and see what the fuck sticks” type scenario.

The message was from someone claiming to be named Anthony Jackson who was looking for some online companionship due to some dire circumstances in his life. Anthony is also offering to pay me $700 a week to text/call him as if we were dating or some dumb shit. I identified this a scam right away. The premise is lame and cliche in the fact no one wants to be lonely, and since we have social media/ internet there doesn’t seem a reason for anyone to feel isolated, alienated, or alone. Outside of that it’s so fucking absurd its really insane. I’m supposed to be a woman who just blindly accepts that some complete fucking stranger who is also painfully lonely is willing to pay me (who is a complete stranger to them as well) $700 a week?

This scam to me reminds me of the fucking early days of the internet with the African Prince scam where out of the blue you get an email, but not just an email and email from fucking Royalty! The there would be some bullshit about the sender being rich as fuck yet unable to currently access funds. Then they’d promise to give you millions in return if you can hook them up with some cash now. It’s jut like the cartoon character Wimpy from fucking Popeye who’s catch phrase was “I’ll gladly pay you for a hamburger Tuesday for a hamburger today.” personified.

                  

Several years back before the non stop onslaught army of scammers unleashed its full fucked up potential I stumbled across some Scambaiting Videos. The first scam baiters I discovered was Trilogy Media and was hooked right from the get go. I like Les hate fucking bullies or in this case sleazy scammers, and we both champion underdogs in this case being the victims. I found as I went there are two separate and equally unique styles to scam baiting. Theres the first group of people that waste scammers time and piss them off since the scammer can’t scam a victim if they’re tied up on the phone with a scam baiter (and plus listening to theses scumbags go apeshit is HILARIOUSLY ADDICTIVE). The second group are the tech scam baiters who hack scammers computers and delete files, wipe the scammers computer, lock the scammer out of their computer (syskey), call flood call centers, and infect scammers computers with a wide range of viruses.

The only thing that has kept this message on my mind is I can’t for the fucking life of me figure out what the fuck the scam’s end goal actually is. I have mulled it over for hours and I came up with two scenarios. One the scammer is attempting to use the bullshit $700 payments to gain access to the victims bank account by pushing the direct deposit angle. Secondly the scammer is attempting to eventually hack into my phone/computer to steal personal information (identity theft) that they can use to commit several kinds of fraud. A third scenario just fucking occurred to me as I’m typing this shit up. The scammer may be looking to hack the victims phone to steal sensitive information like nude photos and then blackmail them. Anyway you look at the person isn’t Anthony their an asshole.

Scammer’s Original Sent Message :

 

anthonyjackson

Hello sweetie I want to be your sugar daddy. I’m willing to give you $700 as your weekly allowance no sex or just texting and calling like boyfriend and girlfriend I prefer it online cause it tend to last long than seeing each other everyday all I want is just online companionship to relieve me from the grief of my late wife text me on (206) 614-0462

As You can see English appears to be Anthony’s second language since even this short message is riddled with grammatical and punctual mistakes.The first and most apparent is the lack of any punctuation including periods making this message one long ass run on sentence. Seriously if you have a free moment try reading that shit out loud in one single breath the way it’s written. Since I’m not a English teacher and I don’t want to bore anyone with a lifelessly dull grammar lesson or anything like that. Thus I thought the easiest way to address this issue is to do a quick compare and contrast. First I’ll write Anthony’s Original message exactly as it was written. Then following that I will rewrite Anthony’s original message so it makes some sort of fucking sense and all that jazz.

The Scammer’s Message in Proper English:

Anthony Jackson,

Hello sweetie I want to be your sugar daddy. I’m offering you a $700 weekly allowance if you call/text me like we are boyfriend and girlfriend (nothing sexual) .  I prefer online relationships because they tend to last longer than if we see each other everyday. All I want is some human companionship since I’m in grieving after my wife passed. If your interested you can text me at (206) 614-0462

Some Prime factors that indicate Anthony is a scummy scammer:

  • Anthony is obviously a scammer.
  • This is a new scam being perpetrated on Tumblr as that’s where the potential victims are contacted/solicited.
  • Anthony based on his poor mastery of the English language appears to be an African scammer. African scammers unlike Indian scammers tend to be less tech savvy.
  • African scammers tend to use third tier tech I mean how many of you reading this right now even knew Tumblr still even existed?
  • While Anthony contacted me on Tumblr he immediately provides a number for texting because more than likely he doesn’t want any of the actual scam on Tumblr. If he is exposed Tumblr will shut down his account(s) and this is his particular way of soliciting victims.
  • The number Anthony provides is to a Text Only Number meaning you can only text the person, and are unable to contact them by just calling the number directly.
  • The Area code of the number Anthony includes in his initial message is a Washington Are code, but lets fucking face the fact the number was generated by the scammer using Spoofcard or something similar like Spoofcaller.

  • The name is also a pretty dead give away as its a Generic sounding American name I mean fucking come the fuck on Anthony Jackson? What was John Smith already taken?
  • Anthony’s profile pic is also as Generic as Possible. It’s a picture of some average middle aged nondescript guy who looks like a fucking soccer dad. It took is as fake as Anthony’s name. Chances are its just a shitty stock photos or it might be copied from a persons social media account/profile.
  • As far as I remember there is no gender identifier on Tumblr which indicates this is a mass blanket text to a shit load of people since most like Me will not reply. My Tumblr user name is thethcministy which is pretty fucking gender neutral (my name isn’t Daisy Petals or some shit).
  • I am for the record a Heterosexual male (I assume Anthony thinks I’m a female, but hey who knows nowadays so no biggie) and I post very unfeminine things like death metal, demons and devils, horror movie shit, creepy fucking gifs, and death match wrestling for starters. As you can see these are not exactly lady like topics.

                 

In conclusion:

I know if you’re anything like me you’ve wondered who in the name of all things sane would ever fall for such an obvious a scam. Thats the same sediment as asking who would join a cult. The point is this scammers are professional conmen who are trained and practiced in the art of manipulations and lies. They’re paid bullshit artists and unfortunately they’re pretty damn good at it. Thats why a majority of scams are nothing more than rebranded fear tactics. Fear tactics are designed to keep the victim panicking because if you’re panicking or hysterical you won’t stop and think “Hey what the fuck is this really? What the hell is going on here?!” they just want you to react impulsively out of fear.

Scammers will use such fear tactics as in the IRS/Social Security scams that if you don’t pay to settle the issue immediately you’ll be arrested and all your assets seized by the IRS. They will also try to scare victims by telling them that all their personal info, work shit, pictures, and other shit on your laptop/pc/smart phone will be permanently deleted if you don’t act immediately (and of course that requires you paying them for their fake services). As of recent as you can damn well imagine scammers are now using the fear of Hackers/Identity theft to scare their victims into paying without a second thought. I think you can see the pattern here.

The other scammers use the “It’s too good to be true” method claiming you won a Luxury Stay at a High End Hotel, an all expenses paid cruise, or a Vacation in Las Vegas with all the perks you could want. These scammers use people’s greed against them. They just tell the victim everything they want to hear about how great this free opportunity is. They will also claim you have won gift cards or deserve a refund you knew nothing about so they use the “Free Money” ploy or the “Something for nothing” scenario.

Anyway you look at it while you and I may be smart enough to see through the bullshit on an unscrupulous scammers shithead remember not everyone knows what we do. The sad fucking fact is if no one got scammed then there be no scammers so problem solved. Thats why the best thing any of us can do to combat these shitty scammers is to EDUCATE OTHERS about them so if they are targeted they know how to defend themselves. Thats why we at FYB fully endorse heading over to ye old youtube and watching some scam baiting videos not just because they are entertaining, but EDUCATIONAL as well.

FYB’s favorite scambaiters Recommendations :

  • Trilogy Media
  • ScammerRevolts
  • Jim Browning
  • Kitboga
  • IRL Rosie
  • ScammerPayback
  • Hoax Hotel

Thanks for reading and I’ll catch you all later,

By Justin Sane  

No One Care What The Hell You Had For Lunch.

Social Media has been a crucial tool since its creation that has Contributed to the Ever Growing Societies’s  Egotistical Idiocy. Tech has/had unlimited potential, But People became Addicted to Social Media and its False Sense of Importance. People actually think ANYONE gives a flying fuck what They had for Lunch?! Yet People Post Pictures of Their Lunch likes its the most Awe Inspiring Event of Their fucking Lives.

The One Aspect in the Social Media’s Dumbing Down of America that’s Never Mentioned is the Personal “Status Updates” that People love to Use like there’s No Tomorrow (Facebook being the Number one Offender). You know what I’m talking about it’s those Pre Written Idle Bullshit like “Linda is Loving Life”, “Matt is at Starbucks”, or “Phil changed His Relationship Status to It’s Complicated.” that Users have come to Rely on.

              

Again Who fucking Cares How You Feel every Minute of the Goddamn Day?! You’re Not Nearly That Special. That’s the trick of Social Media it makes You feel far more Important than You actually Ever will be in all likelihood.

It’s the Utter Distain and Unfathomable Contempt for such Social Media Drivel is the Reason I have created a New (More Honest and Way More Realistic) List Status Updates. Enjoy.

  • Barry is Currently having Wild Sex with a Goat.
  • Louis is Busy Cooking Meth
  • Chuck is watching Hardcore German Porn.
  • Dave has Explosive Diarrhea.
  • Warren is Donating Sperm Again.
  • Linda is Hungover as Hell and Projectile Vomiting.
  • Francis is Window Shopping on Amazon like an Asshole.
  • Quinn is Writing Erotic Stories about a Nun and an Alter Boy.
  • Rex is considering a Career as a Urologist.
  • Aron is a Closet Nazi.

              

  • Gill is Bidding on an Antique Chastity Belt on eBay.
  • Luke is Ordering a Mail Order Bride from Croatia.
  • Marry is Doomsday Prepping for the Apocalypse.
  • Richard is Googling How to Preform an At Home Prostate Exam.
  • Will is Surfing the Dark Web for a Hitman.
  • Jerry is Busy Manscaping.
  • Blair is having a Heavy Flow Day.
  • Arnold Believes Pimping Ain’t Easy.
  • Kelly just woke up in a Pool of Her Own Vomit.
  • Zelda is Wondering Why Animal Assholes and the Opening is Soda Lids look the Same.

              

  • Brittany just tried Anal Sex for the First Time.
  • Valerie is Waxing Everything.
  • Billy is Ordering Asian Sex Toys Online.
  • Beth is Considering getting into Porn.
  • Shelby is Eating a Shit Sandwich.
  • Florence is working on Her New Fuzzy Costume for The Furry Ball.
  • Steve is Tripping Balls on Some Insane Blotter Acid.
  • Francine is Getting Furiously Finger Fucked.
  • Larry is imagining what it’s like to Titty Fuck Bob’s Man Boobs.
  • Rick just made an Appointment to get His Taint Tattooed.=

              

  • Carl can’t Handle is Booze.
  • Scott Tried Smoking Crack and Loved it.
  • Alice took a Massive Shit and is Looking at it Now.
  • Nick is Writing Shit on a Bathroom Wall.
  • Gill is refilling His Prescription for Viagra at The Pharmacy.
  • Travis is making All Natural Hand Made Tampons for His Wife.
  • Racheal is Learning How to Taxidermy and Practicing on Roadkill.
  • Sam is practicing making Balloon Animals Using His Dick.
  • Zander Enjoys Hot Sauce Enemas.
  • Albert is a Colonicholic.

              

  • Alice is starting a Flea Circus due to a Vaudeville Fetish.
  • Blair Farted and it smells like She Needs a Proctologist.
  • Stan just Shit Himself standing in Line at a Fast Food Restaurant.
  • Ralph is Thinking of Purchasing a High End Sex Doll for Christmas.
  • Stella is Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor behind WaWa.
  • Freddy is Attending a Family Reunion Where He’s the Creepy Uncle.
  • Stacy still Wets the Bed Weekly.
  • Benny was Banging an Inflatable Sex Doll and it Exploded Blowing off Both His Balls.
  • Nina is becoming Sexually Aroused watching Animals have Sex in a Nature Documentary.
  • Walt is Listening to Anal Cunt’s Greatest Hits.

              

  • Trent is Reading the Current Copy of Guns & Ammo at His Grandmother’s Funeral
  • Tiffany is Coated Head to Toe in KY Jelly.
  • Robbie is Wondering if Sex with a 3rd Cousin Removed Constitutes Incest.
  • Ken is Hiring a Prostitute.
  • Karen is Scoring Drugs Right Now in a Shitty Neighborhood.
  • Eddie is on Psychedelics and Hiding from a Plate of French Fries.
  • Bart just lost a Staring Contest with a Bowl of Oatmeal.
  • Dominic is Sucking off the Band Hanson Backstage.
  • Annie is Considering getting into Fisting.
  • Paula is having Sex in a Coffin to see if Necrophilia is for Her.

              

  • Vivian is Popping Pain Killers and Downing Them with Whiskey.
  • Holly is Polishing Her Nipple Clamp Collection.
  • Herbert is a German Cannibal.
  • Taylor is paying for Collage with the Money He made in Porn as a Stunt Cock.
  • Ryan is Measuring His Dick.
  • Stewart is trying to Figure Out if occasionally peeking at Another Man’s Pecker at the Urinal makes Him Gay.
  • Tiffany is Bleaching Her Asshole because She’s about to get Back into the Dating World.
  • Gary is Cat fishing His Sister.
  • Olga Thinks Hand Jobs are Outdated.
  • Jillian has a Habit of Humping the Homeless.

           

  • Bart got His Dick Stuck in a Swedish Penis Pump.
  • Becky thinks Lindsey Her Best Friend is kinda of a Cunt.
  • Eloise is on the Way to the Emergency Room with a Ruptured Breast Implant.
  • Diana has a Surgically Reconstructed Asshole.
  • Ari is getting Botox Treatments for His Scrotum Wrinkles.
  • Peter is walking His Dog and Watching as it Takes a Shit.
  • Deloris just crapped so Hard She Prolapsed Her Asshole.
  • Sue is Sniffing Glue getting a White Trash High.
  • Dale is making Wind Chimes out of Natty Ice Cans to Sell in the Local Trailer Parks.
  • Gabby Ate Her Inner Child.

                

  • Henry is Growing Shitty Ditch Weed in His Attic.
  • Donovan is in Reddit Chats while Wearing His Grandmother’s Underwear.
  • Jake shot a Man just to Watch Him Die, But Got Distracted and Missed it.
  • Reese got His Dick Stuck in a Chinese Finger Trap He won at the County Fair.
  • Lucy is in Love with an Alcoholic Carnie that reminds Her of Her Dad.
  • Reggie is walking around is House looking for Things He can Use to Improvise a Cock Ring.
  • Selma had Her Stomach Pumped just for the Experience.
  • Trina is Reading About Historic Safe Sex Methods/Practices.
  • Brittany is having Her 17th Abortion.
  • Oliver May Have Been Abducted by Aliens and Extensively Anal Probed.

              

Thanks For Reading,

  By Les Sober

(Posted @ 1:37am)

We’ll Make Great Pets? By Spacedog

The first half of my day yesterday was complete garbage. It consisted of sitting in traffic for an hour, getting two different credit cards declined (special shout out to Wawa and Boscovs), sitting in traffic for 2 hours and contemplating peeing my pants because I had a towel to sit on and was on my way home.

As void of intrigue and drama as I tend to be, I chose against peeing myself. This isn’t about pee though. I mean it felt absolutely amazing to do so at that point but that being the highlight of my mediocre day was not quite mediocre enough yet. I decided to do one of the most boring things that the era of the Internet has ever bought upon us. I decided to clean out my e-mail.

Now I have way too many e-mails. I know of 7 different accounts, but there probably exist a multitude of others at very dead sites. AOL, Yahoo, Juno, Hotmail, Myspace. I’d rather not read the ancient e-mails I sent in my 20s or from the dawn of time (the 90s) because well I mostly sit and think who the fuck was that guy.

So I decided to actually open up an e-mail from a random social media site called Hi5. It is not the greatest site but not the worst unless you take into account the people they tell you to speak converse with. I would show my last recommendations but just imagine a cohabitation of meth users, the morbidly obese, and people who look like an attractive young man but sadly the picture is clearly on 1970s quality film.

There is one bizarre thing this site does have. I really have never seen anything quite like it. While Facebook has (or had?) pokes, the gays have their woofs, every site has likes and Myspace has ghosts Hi5 has pets. What is the point of pets? I haven’t the slightest idea. I bought my first pet about six years ago in that time period when Myspace just died and your mom wasn’t quite on Facebook yet.

Every member is up for sale with virtual cash. I don’t know if I started with it or watched a video or two or to earn more but I just started buying cute guys. I wanted a decent amount from each country to diversify I suppose. It was basically just a bunch of clicking and clicking and clicking and I grew tired of it rather quickly.

The entire site as a matter of fact. It is like the Craigslist of social media, an odd blend of when MySpace was legit, old school AOL and creepy guys that lurk in oversized vans. The pet thing made me take the opposite approach though when I got unwanted attention. I would just buy people instead of block them.

And oh I bought them. The straights, the gays, the ladies, I even bought myself a big boned lady with a great big retard smile. I only wasted maybe 2 hours of my life doing this in total of my entire life. I really wonder though what was the point of all of this? I was owned by some lady (or man pretending to be a model, this lady was unreal looking Brazilian goddess). There were many messages of I love you and I love my pets on my page over the past few years which only make me laugh my ass off. I mean I like love and all, who really doesn’t when it comes to it, but this woman took the pet thing all too seriously.

I mean I could message all these pets of mine or meme them to death, but I feel more connected to the people I met on a Greyhound bus 15 years ago, despite not having talked to them in 15 years. I’m clicking on links right now but I am not even really sure why. I could be eating, exercising, masturbating, actually texting more then one person, actually paying attention to my TV or my music which are inexplicably both on for some reason.

I mean I guess it could have been worse. I could have bought only blacks and dreamed of my past life on a plantation but I’m Polish and the only black things we’ve ever owned are prune babkas. I could be a peddler of midgets. This seems like a fantastic type of journey I suppose, except I can’t search for people by height and would probably have to click no about 1,000 times to find one midget let alone an armada of midgets.

I could collect the deformed. I’m pretty sure this would involve way less clicking but since you are the company you keep I would just be the product of looking at ugly people, become incredibly hideous, and 400 pounds while clicking faster then any sized person barring maybe a handful of Korean Starcraft players.

Long story, long… this shit is weird as fuck. In some virtual reality type mall where I could see these people it would be funny to go up and buy people in a window but frankly I’d buy someone naked. So rest assured, I know too will get naked and become one with the night.

If you want to check out these oddities for yourself, head over to hi5.com. Check out the meager selection from the dating pool, the dead accounts, and waste an hour or so buying some pets. I can promise they won’t give you rabies over your connection, but carpal tunnel may be in your future if you happen to be riding the tsunami of boredom.