Tag: chaos

And Now A Broadcast Interruption From Outerspace: Vrillion

Hey there, hi, there, hello there everyone it is I the one and only Justin Sane here. Apparently Otto is being the CLASSIC moody motherfucker that he is so I’m gonna jump on in here for today’s post. I fucking love broadcast interruptions where a television or radio station signal/broadcast gets fucking HIJACKED by an unknown individual(s). The whole fuck the system theme behind the many MASKS OF MADNESS by these individuals is nothing less than fucking BRILLIANT! It’s never clear what the fuck there message and motivation is, but goddamn does it make for some seriously fucking entertaining shit!

                   

Well when I found this little nugget of nonsensical insanity I knew I had to use it I mean its so fucking unhinged its spectacular. I mean this shit is right up there with all the conspiracy Qanon batshit bullshit with all the evil alien ghost-reptile alien illuminati new world fucking order of satan worshiping blood drinking, baby eating cannibal elitist Hollywood Super Duper powerful inter dimensional drug addicts whack out on the urban legend adrenal chrome. What fucking IDIOTS believe this fucking horseshit anyway? I remember when people heard shit like that at laughed their fucking asses off at the sheer fucking stupidity. Now every asshole with the fucking internet can connect with every other mentally unbalanced asshole on the fucking planet to exchange their various bullshit theories.

                   

DISCLAIMER TO DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN THE DIPSHIT DUMBEFUCKS AND THE REST OF US: Anyway if your NOT a fucking Moron enjoy the following, and for the troglodytes THIS IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY, THIS SHIT IS’T REAL QANON IMBECILES!

                    

Here’s What Went Down:

Local News Bulletins DON’T often become the News Generally. A little after 5pm on Saturday 26th November 1977, the Transmission of the Local UK Television Station Southern News Bulletin made WORLDWIDE HEADLINES when it was OVERRIDDEN by an External Broadcast from an Individual Claiming to represent the ASHTAR GALACTIC COMMAND, and delivered the following ominous message!

Audio Transcript of the Vrillion Message:

“This is the voice of Vrillon, a representative of the Ashtar Galactic Command, speaking to you. For many years you have seen us as lights in the skies. We speak to you now in peace and wisdom as we have done to your brothers and sisters all over this, your planet Earth. We come to warn you of the destiny of your race and your world so that you may communicate to your fellow beings the course you must take to avoid the disaster which threatens your world, and the beings on our worlds around you. This is in order that you may share in the great awakening, as the planet passes into the New Age of Aquarius. The New Age can be a time of great peace and evolution for your race, but only if your rulers are made aware of the evil forces that can overshadow their judgments. Be still now and listen, for your chance may not come again. All your weapons of evil must be removed. The time for conflict is now past and the race of which you are a part may proceed to the higher stages of its evolution if you show yourselves worthy to do this. You have but a short time to learn to live together in peace and goodwill. Small groups all over the planet are learning this, and exist to pass on the light of the dawning New Age to you all. You are free to accept or reject their teachings, but only those who learn to live in peace will pass to the higher realms of spiritual evolution. Hear now the voice of Vrillon, a representative of the Ashtar Galactic Command, speaking to you. Be aware also that there are many false prophets and guides operating in your world. They will suck your energy from you – the energy you call money and will put it to evil ends and give you worthless dross in return. Your inner divine self will protect you from this. You must learn to be sensitive to the voice within that can tell you what is truth, and what is confusion, chaos and untruth. Learn to listen to the voice of truth which is within you and you will lead yourselves onto the path of evolution. This is our message to our dear friends. We have watched you growing for many years as you too have watched our lights in your skies. You know now that we are here, and that there are more beings on and around your Earth than your scientists admit. We are deeply concerned about you and your path towards the light and will do all we can to help you. Have no fear, seek only to know yourselves, and live in harmony with the ways of your planet Earth. We of the Ashtar Galactic Command thank you for your attention. We are now leaving the plane of your existence. May you be blessed by the supreme love and truth of the cosmos.”

Check this Shit Out!

See you on the other side,

   Justin Sane  

NIGHTMARE

Welcome to this Wednesday’s Post featuring the Official Music Video by Lee Hardcastle for the Song “NIGHTMARE” by the Band Love Automatic.

Lee Hardcastle is a British Animator Who Specializes in Stop-Motion Techniques. He is Famous for His Handmade Independent Animations. His Work includes Original Remakes of Emblematic 1980’s Action and Horror Movies, as well as Parodies of Animated Series and Video Clips. His Work is Known for its Violent and Gory Content. He has worked with Many Companies including Momentum Pictures, 20th Century Fox, and Adult Swim, and has Also Worked with Notable Artists such as Sufjan Stevens. Besides Being a Kick Ass Animator Lee Hardcastle was a Member of the Band Shit The Bed. Hardcastle once explained His Work as “I make Claymation that is Not for Children.”

                   

All the Information I was able to Wrangle about the Band Love Automatic is the Following. Love Automatic is a New York band made up of ex-members from Senses Fail & Armor for Sleep. Their EP debut ‘Organ Donor’ is now available for download from major retailers.

PLOT: A Paranormal Research Team conducts a Seance (A Meeting where People Attempt to make Contact with the Dead) when Things Go Horribly Wrong the Team Ends Up Meeting Their DOOM!

Thanks For Reading/Watching,

   Presented By Les Sober  

Not the Friday I planned

I honestly have to say today was the toughest test on my sobriety in months. Despite no cravings. It gets weirder. I woke up feeling great, had some nice scrambled eggs for breakfast and had a good odd hour (odd hour being 3amish) chat with Les Sober.

Then all shit hit the fan. Mainly because I was trying to be a nice guy I decided to buy vitamins from my new doctors office to sorta show appreciation plus I wanted to take in the scenery on the drive to New Hope. It’s very wooded and hilly and quiet in Pennsylvania besides the cities.

So I took these digestzymes. One pill. Now I’ve been clean from alcohol about 10 months and heroin 18-19 years but I’m not big on dates, I’m bigger on burying the dead corpses of past behaviors I despise. My sobriety method is I feel if I turn around and reflect I will turn into a grain of salt like Lot’s wife in the bible. Anyway I’m glad I’m not a time traveller because honestly I would have travelled back with a shot of whiskey or rum and said don’t take that have this. But since I’m not a time traveller I did take the pill.

I happened to get a bit tired but didn’t think much of it. I threw a little cheese in my egg but even the slightest bit of cheese can make me fall asleep for 10-20 minutes. Woke up heart racing 30 minutes later.

This lasted for about 90 minutes or so and either ended by a few black olives or deep breathing. Probably the olives…. like I was never into martinis or booze with things on the rim, except margaritas. I always think it’s not fair there’s no salted non alcoholic drinks. Even if there were I’m milk, coffee, non tap water or die of thrist.

Anyway ended up calling this woman at the vitamin company who allegedly never heard of such a thing. I was too sick to call her out on her lie but you know what? Let’s just say the FDA is coming for her soon.

Nowhere on the actual bottle was there anything about papaya. Yet on some random literature that came with the bottle it was mentioned as part of their proprietary blend. It’s my fault I took the pill and didn’t ask more questions orginally. However I did find from my mother that papaya was the only food that made her throw up while pregnant was papaya of course.

It’s just hard for me to ask questions of others. I ramble on like a freight train. My ADHD doesn’t really allow me to focus on much and I try to read 8 books at once, all the while trying to learn chemistry, biology, chronobiology, nutrition, psychology literally 3 minutes at a time. I try and help others, not because I want to but feel it is almost my burden or calling.

I mean there is so so much I have to be grateful for. My family, my roof, ability to afford my WOE (way of eating) and a handful of really great friends.

I also have my instincts. (Except with sexy men but that’s too much ramble for one blog )

Honestly my first instinct was to not take this particular enzyme and return it when I saw papaya. This has also been my instinct for over 20 years when it comes to drinking. Honestly the only day it was my first instinct to drink in 20 years was the Eagles Super Bowl parade. I guess this is why I can’t stand AA with people constantly telling me my brain is broke or sloganing me to death. No asshole, honestly I’ve legit been drinking for digestive issues for nearly 25 years.

I’m just so glad the cravings only lasted for those 90 gut wrenching minutes. And completely disappeared afterwards. It may sound silly but 3 black olives sent me back to Earth. It’s a shame I can’t plant an olive tree in New Jersey.

My Wife Took Me To Dinner In Hell

As I have mentioned several times before I’m not a Social Person and I generally find People to be Disappointing Overall. Thats why I detest Crowds be they Smaller or Larger, Sports Bars, Waiting on/in Line, Waiting Rooms, Traffic of Any Kind, Other Driver’s (I think most People don’t know dick about Driving), Movie Theaters, House or Large Parties, Festivals, County Fairs, Clubs, Restaurants, and All that  Other Out and About Bullshit People are Into.

So when My Wife gets an Opportunity to Drag Me Away from My Extreme Reclusive Tendencies She takes it in a fucking Heart Beat. This was the Case Not too Long ago when Our Brother in Arms N@P Stopped by to Visit in route to the Great White North My Wife was presented such an Opportunity. My Wife who is Out Going and Much More Social than I am Exploited the fact N@P is just as Out going as She to Stack the Odds in Her Favor. The easiest way to get Me to agree to something is to make it Food Related. It’s the most Admittedly Easiest way to Manipulate Me into Participating in any  Act of Social Conformity. Access to Alcohol (especially Beer) is an Equally Effective form of Manipulation because I like Beer so when Someone says Something like “Let’s get a Beer” or “Let Me Buy you a Beer” or “Let’s go to the Bar” how can I Ultimately complain?! I just think to Myself sure why not at least if it Sucks I can have a fucking Beer and feel better about the Bullshit Situation.

           

Knowing My Achilles Heel suggested We go out and get a Bite to Eat, and Low and behold She had a Restaurant already in Mind. Since N@P and I had downed a couple of Beers I was more susceptible to the Power of Suggestion so I asked what kind of fucking Restaurant was it that She had in Mind? My Wife Replied that it was a Mexican Restaurant that She had never been to, BUT Once in a While at Work My Wife and Her Co-Works will Order Lunch and Picked it Up (aka Fancy Man’s Take Out). I thought it be pretty fucking cool to have a chance to Eat some actual Authentic Mexico Food instead of the Americanized Taco Bell Version for a change so off We went. You see N@P is so goddamn Fluidly Zen on All Levels that He was up for Anything. We could have the World’s Most Expensive Caviar at a Michelin Star Restaurant or Eating $1 Hotdogs from a Cart standing on the Street N@P would be equally as Happy.

           

When We pulled up to the Rather Large Restaurant the first fucking thing I noticed was the Parking Lot was full as fuck. In fact it looked as if it was so fucking full the Overflow was parking along a Vacant Lot which currently was a plain grass Field. This immediately made Me Unamused as now not only was it a Restaurant it was a Packed as Hell Restaurant thus inevitably be Crowded as it possible could be. This meant there could be a long wait which in My mind was just just Insult to Injury really. Not only that but with a Crowded Restaurant its Loud so Back Round Noise is a Big Old Bitch, and wherever I sit be it at a Table or Booth or at the Bar I feel fucking Surrounded like I’m fucking Boxed in. Lastly I also seriously prefer to be sitting with My back to the Wall where I can see the the Door in particular as well as the rest of the Restaurant.

My assumptions in the parking lot were Dead on Accurate yet that wasn’t all there was an Extra Asshole Bonus awaiting Us lurking just inside the Front fucking Doors. The waiting room was Impressively Large and filled with fucking Customer’s standing essentially shoulder to shoulder like Human Cattle. The problem as it turned out was there wasn’t an Ounce of Organization in the Place at least We sure as Hell didn’t see it.

Not only were People entering and Exiting the Restaurant in Significant Numbers there was also the Current Customers trying to Navigate through in Search of their Table or perhaps the Restroom. In addition to all that crap there was No designated System for Customer to check out efficiently as the Cash Registers where crammed into the Farthest corner of the Room. That and apparently form any sort of Line was out of the fucking Question as People looking to Pay just lingered around like a School of Confused fucking Fish.

           

To make things more Chaotic the Restaurant apparently didn’t have a Bar so there wasn’t an Option to wait to be seated in the Bar which is an insanely great idea in General. Luckily they did serve Beer so that was a kind of crappy consolation prize in My opinion since I’d have to wait to be seated before I could order a Beer. Lastly the WaitingArea/ Lobby has a Very High Ceiling and Bare Walls (which were painted a lovely shade Of Refried Bean Baby Shit) so all the annoying noise was amplified by 2. As I was about to hit My breaking Point and was about to come completely unhinged I noticed My Wife had a rather confused look on Her face. Apparently the Hostess had shoved Her way through the Horde of Dinners to let Us know Our table was ready and to Follow Her, BUT in the Middle of all the Bullshit My Wife was the only one who heard her. It didn’t help that the Hostess did a walk by and kept walking and disappeared back into the Hungry Horde of Customers.

           

Now from the Outside the Restaurant looked like Your Typical Open Floor Plan, but once You entered the Building You realize that is comprised of a Maze of Small Dinning Rooms that twists and Turns like Mating Snakes. Once We were seated I looked around the Room looking at the Decor which was Insane it looked like the most Generic and Mildly Racist Interior Design I have ever fucking witnessed. I felt like I was eating in the World’s Shittiest Amusement Park or Perhaps a fucked up County Fair. There were Fake Windows and Aesthetic Awning complete with a Door (as well as windows on each side)I suppose to imitate Mexico Architecture, yet it just made it feel like a Second Rate Fun House. At one Point My Wife pointed the Door Out and jokingly asked “Who Lives There?” to which I answered “The Devil since You brought Me to Hell” causing N@P to Laugh like a Hyena on Laughing Gas.

           

The Only other Decorative component of the Cramped little Dinning Room was a Rather Racist Depiction of a Mexican Man sitting on a Stool outside in a Farm Yard. The Man was sitting directly behind the a Saddle while holding the Reigns so for all intents and purposes made it look like the Man in the Picture was about to have Sex with the Saddle. This caused Me to Immediately dubbed the Picture/Depiction “The Saddle Fucker” again to the Great Delight of N@P.

The last Oddity I observed was a Decently sized Flat Screen with the Sound turned off without the Closed Caption turned on. Without the Subtitles on the bottom of the Screen there was No Way of Knowing what the hell anyone on the TV was saying. Not only that it was installed above any reasonable Sight Level so 90 plus Percent of the Small Dinning Room could even fucking See it to begin with. The Only Customers who could see the TV for all it was worth (which was Nothing) was Our Table and The One in front of it as well as the one behind it. It was also located in an Unusual Spot sitting to the Right of a Corner in the Room and was also slightly but noticeably Tilted.

A Extremely Pleasant Surprise after having to endure the Horrid Decor and Abominable Waiting Area was the Fact Our Waitress was Accessional. She wasn’t just attentive to Or Table, but She was Intuitive as well. What I mean by that is for example if Your Beer was almost done before You could even complete the Though “Oh Man I need a Beer so Time to do the Whole Wheres My Waitress?!” She had a Fresh Beer already on the Table. That attention to Detail is not only Admirable but far beyond rare in this Age of Shitty Customer Service Assholes.

           

The Other pleasant Surprise was the Food, it was Utterly Awesome to say the fucking least. The most interesting thing was something I have never experiences I have had the Pleasure of Having. I memory is shit but I ordered aSteak Burrito of some sort and when it arrived I was Genuinely Surprised. The Burrito was just that No Bullshit Garnish or Bells and Whistles pompous bullshit. What I mean is it wasn’t topped with Salsa and Guacamole and all the shit you see at Apple Bee’s or Chili’s. It was EXACTLY what I fucking ordered a Burrito. The Intriguing thing was instead of the bullshit stereotypical Burrito it was served in a Brown Gravy for lack of a better word. It was Truly Exquisite.

So in the End I who am NOT easily impressed in lou of all the shit I hated about it was glad I went. Ultimately the Kick Ass Customer Service, Awesome Food, and 33 Ounce Beers Won Me over Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels.

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober

Somethings That Rent Space In My Head

Throughout the day I have these rather random thoughts that just jump into the Chaos contained within My Cranium. I decided to write these 2 word to a sentence long tidbits of  creativity down as they came to me during the day. They are complied in a sort of sudo list from first to last, but run together back to back makes them even more interesting I think.

So without further ado here We Go:

The Banana Spider has laid Eggs in My Brain

These Poor People have No Faces

The Old Lady with Coupons is Killing Me

I am My harshest Critic By Far

If You spent time in My Head You’d go Insane

Dirt Road Dogs are giving Chase

The New becomes The Old

Narrow passings on the Edge of Accident

Indifference is Compliance

Mr. Mindfucker is at it Again

The Tangles Webs We weave when We try to Deceive

What the fuck is Really Going On

Trailer Park Psychotics

Futilely trying to Conquer Forces Beyond Our Control

Embryonic Evils & Aborted Faith

Disillusioned Illusionist’s ill Ilk

The Dark Cloud Dominates the Sky

Aggressive Apologies from Assholes

Fake Fucking Fake for It is False and a Fraud

Trapped in the Chaotic 3 Ring Circus of Humanity

Capitalism Cannibalizes Itself and We All Die In Vain

Like a Deer in the Headlights We freeze watching the Oncoming Death

The Morbidity of Maggots

There are Three Sides to every Story

Cerebral Symbiotic Shortcuts of the Mind

Everyone is Eye fucking multiple Screens

Converting the Remain of the Dead to Fuel Our Lives

We Too will be Biologically Recycled

The Weeping Willows can Cry No more

At the Core of the Curse lies Damnation

Who let this Lunatic out of The Asylum

Decapitate The Deplorable’s for the Guillotines Delight

Beyond The Coin We Barter

Lobotomizing the World’s Think Tanks

There’s an Exorbitant Price Ones Pays for Paradise

Snow amplifying the Silence

That Crackhead Kid is soaked in Squalor

Picking Labels off Our Beer Bottles and Minutes off Our Lives

Space is Infinite just like Thought

Uneducated Idiots will be lead like Lemmings to The Slaughter

If the Eyes are the Window to The Soul then some should Remain Shut

Who Kills Unicorns for Sport

The Pied Piper is Pissed the Rats ran off

Seeking Peace while Waging War

And The Barbarians are at The Gate…..

Thanks for Reading,   By Les Sober

McCoy’s Artistic Chaos

 

Les felt exhilarated and full of self righteousness as he drove as fast as humanly possible towards the freeway. Adrenaline was flowing through his veins like water through a flood gate making his skill feel electrified. His senses were all on high alert. As Less banked a right turn onto the freeway the car to fish tailed slightly. His blue tooth began to ring. Goddamnit Les thought to himself, for he knew it was one of two people. It was either his manager Mortimer, or the goddamn cops, but he’d done a good job at avoiding the police. It’s the goddamn media you can’t out run those vultures constantly circling waiting for tragedy and death to strike. Begrudgingly Les switched his blue tooth on as he felt his undying rage he possessed flare up all over again.
“What do you want?!,” demanded Les angrily.
“Les it’s Mortimer, your agent”
“I know who the hell you are Mort, I sign your goddamn paychecks. Not to mention I pay you to be my MANAGER NOT MY MOTHER. I already have one of those, and I haven’t talked to her in eight years AND COUNTING!” yelled Les at the top of his lungs now enraged that Mortimer has called him in the first place.
“Les your on the news again, thats 5 times this month alone,” Mortimer said in a slow authoritative tone like a teacher or librarian.
“FREE PRESS MORTIMER FREE GODDAMN PRESS!” screamed Les as Les’s driving began to become as erratic as his behavior. Les was preoccupied at that moment punching his steering wheel. This was not at all satisfying Les’s explosive anger. The steering wheel was thin and circular so Les’s fists of fury mostly missed it only fueling Les’s animosity.
“Yes, Les free press is good” replied Mortimer condescendingly as he lost patience for Les’s outrageously unpredictable, temper driven, theatrics.
“Les you’ve really outdone yourself this time. I mean, a hit and run Les? seriously why? Why Les do you feel compelled to create not only fine art but unyielding chaos all around you?”
“DON’T be condescending to me you pion!” Les growled, as emotion started to replace logical thought. “That scum of the Earth deserved what he got, and what he got was hit by a car. I WAS DRIVING! SO WHAT?”
“Les for Christ’s sake you tried to drown a critic in the punch bowl. Then you beat another critic of yours with a lawn jockey. NOW you top it all off with a hit and run. Please do tell why, and how this monstrosity came to be.”demanded Mortimer as he took a long draw from a bottle of Pepto Bismol which he kept in a desk drawer for when dealing specifically with Les.
“I was at my opening Deviants of Art, and Phil Edwards from the New Yorker was there. I over heard Phil telling other patrons that my art is over rated and that this was due to my lack of classical training or some shit.”explained Less occasionally stalling as his mind came up with the words faster than Les’s mouth could say them. “This pompous twit had the gaul to dare criticize my work, my work is goddamn invaluable to the art world. My point, is this Mortimer, art is SUBJECTIVE. If art is SUBJECTIVE, why then do I need CRITICS to comment, judge and condemn, my splendid works? Well, I saw that piece of filth Phil walking to his car, and I jumped into a car the valet had just brought around. I crept up behind him, lined up the front right corner of the car with the back of his leg, pounded the pedal to the metal and clipped him with the car. I wasn’t trying to kill the son of a bitch, though being dead would be his greatest accomplishment. I just clipped him to scare the shit out of him, and send him flying through the air. I figured he’d then land and roll across the asphalt. I cannot turn off the fires of my creative passions just because I’m not painting in my studio, it’s not my fault that my artist passion doesn’t translate in real life.”
“You have a good point Les BUT the way you make it leaves a lot to be desired AND NOW you tell me in spite of the already bad situation that you ALSO STOLE A CAR.,” quipped Mortimer like a peeved off parent. “Well, Les what are we going to do about this? You’ve gone to far. I already called in Art Management’s legal team.”
“Fire them for all I care I detest lawyers they’re the art critics of the legal world. Your right Mortimer I’m done with this shit, the art, the openings, the critics. I’ve decided it is time to retire.” Les said sounding rather insane.
“Retire! I don’t care. I’d live longer if you did,” responded Mortimer “But your in real trouble Les. Assault is one thing. Grand theft auto and attempted vehicular homicide is a totally different animal all together.”
“I DON’T CARE Mortimer I’m headed for the Florida Keys. The police can just TRY and locate me in a chain of 1,400 islands. I’m not a moron I’m not going to the obvious spots like KeyWest or KeyLargo or whatever. I’m going to buy one of the little unknown islands to retire to” ranted Les with growing intensity.
“Well, then it was a pleasure, of sorts anyway, working for you and while you are an artist you need to learn to control your artists passions outside of your studio.” Mortimer said in honesty
“Thanks Mortimer for putting up with all my shit and bailing me out countless times,” said Les ambivalently “It’s five o’clock somewhere and thats where you’ll find me.”

I Was A Teenage Murder Junkie pt.4: Salvation of the Streets

Mike shoved the doors of the basement delivery and much to our surprise they swung open like a $2.00 Hooker’s legs on pay day.  We bum rushed out of the confines of the basement show leaving the ensuing riot behind us. As we emptied onto the street it resembled the most messed up parade anyone could imagine. Several police cruisers were parked out front in various and precarious angles outside of the bar with their lights blazing as a handful of cops wandered around amidst the occupants of the bar. The regulars were at the outskirts of the crowd bitching about being separated from their beer and bar because of some punk kids shit show (that shouldn’t have ever been booked) as The Barfly was in deed a Bar not an actual show venue. The base of the crowd outside were not just the fan’s that attended the show, but an increasing amount of onlookers out from the shadows of the shitty streets they called home. It was quite obvious that there simply were not nearly enough police officers to accomplish much of anything accept a couple of initial arrests, and not getting killed in an already out of control situation that since they intervened seemed to only escalate more and more. Plainly put it was a numbers game and the police were well outnumbered.

Our small clan stood in a tight circle around GG who was beyond agitated and was now bordering on his usual redirect of hate against the entire fucking planet. All I remember from standing in that circle as we franticly threw together some resemblance of an escape plan that I was completely distracted by GG. Well not GG as much as the way he smelled to be more accurate. The pungent stench of stale beer, body odor, blood, feces and urine combined into a force all its own burning ones nostrils and causing ones eyes to water profusely. I have smelled rotting roadkill baking under the hellacious heat of a Texas summer heatwave that didn’t wreak nearly as bad or strongly as GG that night in the ally. The most immediate part of our plan if we were to escape unharmed in one piece and avoid incarceration was to camouflage GG like any anonymous fan. While the first responders found themselves out matched had inevitably radioed for much need back up, and GG was their main target. GG’s girlfriend grabbed a dirty bandana from out of a trash can in the ally and furiously started wiping the blood from GG’s head as well as face. The Mike contributed his leather biker jacket and one of the few other fans with donated a pair of cut off sweat pant shorts. GG took the fitly bloody bandana from Liz and fashioned it so it not only covered his shaved head but also obscured his eyes. With GG now dressed identically like one of his disenfranchised fans we slowly exited the ally into the main street. The police were to distracted by all the other bullshit going on they didn’t notice our exiting from the ally next to the bar. We started walking briskly in a tight knit group with GG on point. We made it all the half block down to the corner of the block without issue until we (moreover GG) was detected again not by the police or adoring fans, but by one of the amassed spectators on the opposite side of the street from the bar.

“GG IS FUCKING GOD!!” screamed the unknown onlooker like a fucking air siren circa World War II. Thats all it took to get the attention needed for the fans and mentality of the show to spill out onto the streets like blood from a severed artery. The fans and onlookers started to walk down the street in our direction, and unwanted attention. We managed to make it 3 blocks before GG decided to start engaging his following fans and assorted others like the onlookers. GG started by responding to the chants and screams of support which only served to rile the crowd into a further fury. We could hear the sounds of bottles breaking, trash cans being tossed and an assortment of other sounds of destruction as I began to worry that the incoming police back up might spot us thus ending our escape and starting the jailing process. GG didn’t seem to give a shit anymore as he continued to encourage the chaos. GG was leading the procession of misfits and deviants through the South Philly streets like a demented Pied Pipper leading his personal army of rats.

The only thing that finally got GG to snap back to reality and realize the true and present danger of the surrounding police was his desire to party. No surprise GG was a heavy drinker and endorsed drinking as well as drug use in any and all forms (GG also endorsed violence especially against authority) ,and his Achilles hill made him focused at the task at hand: Don’t get arrested (again) and get drunk/high. We soon realized walking wasn’t going to work as no one knew where we were or where we were going not to mention we were being escorted by a unruly gang of miscreants spreading destruction in their wake. I managed to wrestle a crumpled $20 bill from my tattered jeans and got Liz’s attention. I gave her the twenty and told her it was for cab fare to get GG out of here once and for all. We unfortunately had to walk several more blocks until we had a chance in hell of catching a cab in spite of the nights already tumultuous events. At last one of the few fans with us a small greasy guy (he was 5 foot nothing at best) with 5 o’clock shadow got ahead of us and managed to hail the only cab we had seen since arriving hours earlier. Liz jumped in the cab as fast as she possible could tugging on GG’s arm so hard it looked as if she was trying to dislocate GG’s fucking shoulder. GG paused as he entered the beat up gypsy cab and said angrily “Fuck you Philly!” and then preceded to getting the cab. As soon as GG was in the cab it took off like a bat out of hell with its ass on fire.

As I stood there watching as the cab barreled GG off into the night I thought to myself “I don’t know how the hell I ended up at a GG Allin show, but I was damn glad I came because you can’t make shit like this up.”