Tag: cocaine

My Decade of Debauchery : The Foreshadowing Preface

After High School I didn’t have a fucking clue what the hell to do. I was young, and hated authority in any form. Needlessly to say I was jobless and had NO DESIRE to ever enter the Workforce. I had no desire to become one of those poor people who waste the prime years of their life at work only to retire and resent it. I drank like a fucking fish while smoking cigarettes excessively from the time I opened my eyes to the time I passed the fuck out. I was on numerous illicit substances usually a combination of several daily morning, noon or night. I was what is referred to as a “Functioning Drug Addict” which simply means I can party my ass off and still function.

I  was EXTREMELY Opinionated and not afraid to state it no matter where or when I had an opinion on every fucking thing there was or is. My Mother I remember took me aside one day and said,”You have to watch your mouth because unless someone REALLY knows you at some point you’ll insult, offend, shock or anger someone, and their going to turn around and punch you in the face.”

I lived at home with my Mother as by then my parents had been divorced for a couple years. I also had the habit off pissing off one of my parents after a few months and then bailing to go live with my other parent. This was great for at one point I was living with my Father in a Dope Apartment in the center of town over a fancy ass restaurant, and was never there because of work and he was dating a good bit ( I met several women who’s names and faces I forget and don’t mind that I’ve forgotten.) So I had the place all to my self I had the entire run of the place. I digress for now that that is a completely different set of Stories all together, and I plan to save for another time.

I also had an extreme impulsive control issues as I had none at the time, with a horrendous temper I inherited from my Father (R.I.P) Whatever I thought to say I said and whatever I thought to do I did immediately without a single thought about any possible consequences. It was also true I had a Knack for getting in trouble, but ultimately I never suffered any serious side effects (Example: Getting Arrested Numerous Times)

I knew I needed cash to fund my” Low Life” life style and feed my various addictions as the grew bigger and badder over time. I was what is referred to by Narcotics Anonymous as a “Garbage Can” meaning we didn’t have one particular drug we craved and indulged in as opposed to others. I did them them all. I did whatever I could get my deviant hands on because my true drug was MORE. I never cared what it was just give me MORE AND MORE, but I”ll never be satisfied. I did Cocaine (I snorted and injected it), Smoked Crack, Shot/ snorted Heroin, Dropped Acid (Paper or Liquid), Ate Ecstasy and MDMA, Crystal Meth, Peyote, Micro Dots, PCP, and the some pills such as Vicodin, Xanax, Valium, but thank fuck I got out of the drug game before Pain Pills became EXTREMELY POTENT and READILY AVAILABLE. The one addiction I’m glad I narrowly avoided is/was gambling as I’m positive I suck at it from the get go, and would have lost even more shit in my life than I did with the Drink and Drugs.

I don’t include Marijuana because I don’t consider it a drug and remain a daily smoker.

With no prospects for a future outside of our shitty little town that we both despised with people we fucking hated Armenian and I decided to Sell Drugs. I don’t personally consider Marijuana to be a drug, but unfortunately the DEA decides these matters. With that said we dealt mainly in Pot, LSD and PCP. If we didn’t have what you wanted at the time we knew where to get it. This lead to a  good bit of middle man work done on our part and of course charge a finders fee which could be paid in cash or stash we weren’t picky per say.

Now the Armenian was dating this girl E which meant it wasn’t just me and Armenian it was a goddamn package deal. On top of that bullshit we found out an acquaintance of ours named Guru who happened to be selling the same shit in the same area. Armenian and I decided joining forces was better than fighting for turf and customers, yet E was highly opposed to the idea and protested loudly. In spite of her opinion Armenian and I proposed to Guru our merger idea and we partnered up.

Thats Enough of That Now with More to Come.

Les Sober 

Sigmund Frued & The Oedipus Complex: An Exercise in Clarification

Now it safe to assume that if your reading this you know 1) Who Sigmund Freud is, 2) Who Oedipus was and his whole back story. See that the point of my post right fucking there, yet I will explain.

Everyone knows basically that Sigmund Freud was one of the world’s most brilliant Phycologist and is considered the Father of Phycology. That is very much true, but as time as tough us once Historians dig into the past of the World’s Most Important People they find that Person’s Skeletons hidden away in the closet. Once those Skeletons are discovered We are quickly reminded that these Exceptional People were in fact still very much Human, and so we find out what assholes they really were.

Now as we take a tad bit more in-depth look at Siggy most people also know he was rather obsessed with Sex and Human Sexuality which makes him sound like a Dirty Old Man or Basic Pervert. What few people know is Siggy not only prescribed Cocaine to his Patients he also indulged frequently. I believe once Siggy was on/doing Cocaine it obviously affected him personally as well as professionally. One then could ask at what point did Siggy go from Brilliant Psychiatrist to your run of the mill Cokehead?! Anyway when Siggy was extremely interested in Sex/Human Sexuality he came up with a Theory that he called “The Oedipus Complex”based on Ancient Greek Mythology. Simply stated the “Oedipus Complex” says EVER MALE on the Planet secretly desired to KILL HIS FATHER & BANG HIS MOM. Not very pleasant I grant you.

MY 1st POINT: When someone hears this they get these grimy, scummy and sleazy thought of Men they know sitting at the dinner table with his parents eating in silence while secretly thinking about how he can Murder is Dad and Hook Up with his Mom. Its a Incest Horror Show that would make Shakespeare Jealous.

My 2nd and MOST IMPORTANT POINT:

The General Public DON’T KNOW OEDIPUS’S BACKSTORY and IF they did they wouldn’t think twice about it because the Historical Truth dispels one’s 3rd hand thoughts on the subject. Since I find this the crux of the matter here is the Story of Oedipus the  Cliff Note Version.

It was Ancient Grease and the current King of Thebes Laius was freaked the fuck out because an Oracle (a mystic with a direct like to the knowledge of the God’s) had just informed him his unborn Son would Kill Him. So when his wife Jocasta gave birth to a boy Laius ordered it be taken out into the Wild and left there to Die of Exposure.

That plan was foiled when a local shepherd took pity on the baby when he came across it and raised Oedipus as his own Son. Oedipus grew up to be a fine young Ancient Greek Man. Now this is where the story becomes Twist City.

One day while traveling to Thebes Oedipus came head to head with a Wagon traveling in the opposite direction. The issue was the road was very narrow so one wagon would have to yield, and pull over to the side of the road to allow the other wagon to pass. Neither Oedipus nor the Other Man would yield to the other. After arguing and being well provoked by the Other Man’s Insults Oedipus got violent and ended up Murdering the Other Man. The Other Man unbeknownst to Oedipus (Who was exiled to die in the woods as an infant had no idea who his actual birth parents were or that he was a prince and the Air To The Throne of Thebes.) was in fact Laius his birth Father.

Oedipus continued on his journey to the Kingdom of Thebes. Once Oedipus arrived at Thebes he found it plagued by a Sphinx who asked every passerby a riddle. If the person could not answer the Sphinx’s riddle they were gruesomely killed upon the spot.

Oedipus was smarter than your average Bear and was able to answer the Sphinx’s riddle and ironically the Sphinx killed Herself. For killing the damnable Sphinx Oedipus was rewarded by the Citizens of Thebes with the Throne of Thebes and with it the hand of their recently Widowed Queen Jocasta (Oedipus’s birth Mother) Here it is important to remember once again Oedipus never knew his parents since his Father attempted to murder him as an infant, and thus Oedipus’s parents had no idea who he was either)  Oedipus and Jocasta had a total of 4 children together.

But Inevitably The Truth would come to light and when it did Jocasta immediately committed suicide. What happened to Oedipus is highly debated. One version of the story states that after his mother/wife committed suicide he remained as ruler of Thebes until his death. The second version states that after Jocasta committed suicide Oedipus gouged out his own eyes and Advocated the Throne to his brother-in-law Creon. Oedipus then Exiled himself accompanied by  two of his children, his son Antigone and Ismeme. In this version it says Oedipus died at Colonus near Athens where apparently was swallowed up by the Earth, and became a Guardian Hero of The Land.

BOTTOM LINE: Oedipus had no idea who his parents were (nor they him) so OEDIPUS’S ACTIONS WEREN’T INTENTIONAL, a key fact missing from good old Siggy’s “Oedipus Complex” Theory. Proof agin a small difference can greatly affect the story.

Thanks For The read,

 

Les Sober  

 

 

Tori Amos: A Quick Clarification

It’s no secret that I’m about the farthest fucking thing from a Tori Amos fan, not by a long shot. I find her music extremely melodramatic with  Heavy Piano, it the only music  that makes Emo look like it has balls. Amos’s Lyrics are Vague and as for “singing” Amos opts to howl, wail, and Yodel her way through every damn song like she’s America’s answer to Iceland’s Bjork.

Its also no secret that Tori Amos has had a long torrid love affaire with cocaine. Tori Amos is essentially a life long cokehead and it shows in her so called music.

There is a popular Tori Amos song (who’s title surprise, surprise I don’t know) BUT the Chorus is;

“God sometimes you don’t come through…”

To be crystal clear Amos’s is not making a profound statement about a religious deity. She is making a exclamation about her Coke Dealer.

Now I’m no Saint or anything resembling one and I’ve been in the situation Tori Amos finds herself in as far as the subject matter pertaining to this song. Its definitely one of the shittiest feelings know to all mankind to be Coked out of your mind tweaking like a Son-Of-A-Bitch and you can’t get a hold of your Drug Dealer.

The intense feeling of utter desperation taxed heavily with anxiety and uncontrollable racing thoughts/pulse, pounding heartbeat, Paranoia, and the intense craving is one of the reasons drug addicts question why they do the drugs they do when their Sober.

The most fucked up thing is I really hate Cocaine, I was never into stimulants, Depressants were my favorite drugs. What I mean by that is Coke made me feel more not less. So I haven’t done Cocaine in 14 years and have no plan to indulge in it ever again.

Thanks For The Read,

Les Sober    

 

Hmmmm What That Smell?! By Spacedog

MARIJUANA!!!!!

When times are tough and times are dull, I think back to the life I once led in the south of Columbia. Sure it was difficult. I mean there was enough cocaine to help me stay awake for weeks upon end. That was always fun. Even just chillin with Pablo and Juan Valdez made for some good times I’ll never forget. There is one person though I will never forget. Her name was Mary Jane.

My own personal Mary Jane was a big, tall strong woman. Sure I don’t have much of a proclivity towards women but she was twelve feet tall and smelled like no other woman I have met since. I even liked her seed and well that’s not the kind of seed that ole Jeffy usually takes a likin too.

She kept me safe and warm. Whenever I got home from a night at the theatron de pelicula and had bad things squirt in my eye, she was there to heal my infection.

The night I saw all of Pablo’s men get mowed down in a rain of gunfire, Mary Jane was there. I just put her in my bong and smoked her down and off I went to the club. I could already taste the rainbow even though well that was for later. Shhhhh…… And she never told any of my secrets.

She was my mother, my sister, my dominatrix, my bulldyke, and my fag hag all rolled up into one great big, bright ass spliff.  She let me tolerate more Britney Spears then any human could just so I could bring the next Juan or Carlos or Juan Carlos or fuck why not all of them back to my humble mud hut.

Eventually though we grew apart. My funds in Colombia were confiscated and back off to New Jersey I so went. That was in 1980. Oh how I miss 1980. Those were the days.

Mary Jane?

So then I was walking down the street yesterday and saw this midget girl (aptly named Midge) I knew from the club. She was a fun one to know, I mean anyone who smokes out of a bong taller then them is alright with me.

Midge introduced me to her friend. His name was Kyle. He smelled of dirt, he smelled of mud, he smelled of naughty things. So he smelled like Mary Jane. So then we smoked and then we went back to my place and Midge took pictures. She wanted to join in but I have a moral code up in this bitch. If I can teabag you standing up it’s a no go. That is my number one moral in life.

You may say I’m a dreamer. I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us. And the world will live as one.

The Id, Ego & Super Ego as Explained By Me Less Sober

The Principles of The Id,Ego and Super Ego construct was created by the acclaimed Godfather of modern Psychology the one and only Sigmund Freud. Now its a fairly well known fact that Freud prescribed cocaine as part of his patients therapy, but what is far lesser known is the fact Freud not only prescribed cocaine to his patients he also used cocaine. The question remains at what point in Freud’s carreer did his cocaine use affect and subsequently undermined his work. Lets face the facts, no one listens or believes the ramblings of a coke head no matter how smart they may have been before succumbing to the negative affects. So without further a due  here is the Id, Ego and Super Ego explained by yours truly.

The Id: First we start with what Freud referred to as a person’s Id. The Id is the part of a person that is primally hedonistic, its the part of a person that lives to drink,fight,fuck and indulge in any and all hedonistic activities no matter the consequences (consequences don’t exist in the Id’s world and if they did the Id wouldn’t care less about them)) If you think of the Id, Ego and Super Ego as members of the same family the Id would be the “Problem Child”operating with beyond ruthless abandon. The Id would be the wild younger brother who only gives a shit about himself and what he wants to do which is essentially to indulge deeply in pleasure seeking activities. The Id’s motto is “Long Live Me and Fuck Everyone who disagrees or tries to stop me!!!”

The Ego: The Ego is born from the so called wisdom of experience through the countless trials and tribulations that are life. The Ego is the Goodie-Goodie straight A over achiever older brother of the family. Being the “sensible one” puts the Big Brother Ego at constant odds with its younger brother the Id. The Ego’s job is to counter act the insanity of the Id at all costs. If the Id wants its entire face tattooed then the Ego must automatically stop the Id from doing so by dominating the outcome. Thus the relationship of the Id and Ego is a nonstop, full throttle, extremely intense, passionate and brutal argument over every subject under the sun in an eternal battle of wills.

The Super Ego: Now with the Id and Ego being in constant disagreement there is a need for The Super Ego or the Parental Figure of this little family. The Super Ego incorporates the learned values and morals of society, and acts mainly as a   referee meets politician meets police officer. The Super Ego’s job is to defuse conflict between the Id and The Ego and to broker a truce. If the Id is screaming bloody murder about a Full Face Tattoo, and the Ego is yelling at the top of its lungs that a facial tattoos are for degenerate criminal prone anti social cretins its the Super Ego that steps in. The Super Ego must find a acceptable compromise for the War over facial tattoos. The Super Ego can for example say  “Lets let the Id get a tattoo BUT somewhere thats not the face.” this hopefully appeases the Ids desires and give into the Ego’s need for control over the Id.

So in conclusion though you may consider yourself a singular person there are three distinctly different personality traits locked in endless combat and compromise inside your mind. You have the self indulgent Id with sometimes darker impulses (i.e. “Carl stole my promotion and I’m gonna kill him/beat his ass/burn down his house etc) You also have the Ego that allows you to maintain an acceptable/normal life regardless of its disagreements with the Id. You also out of necessity have the Super Ego, and lets face it without the Super Ego humans would never have evolved since they’d be stuck in a constant struggle to make even the simplest decisions.

The Time I Almost Became a Accidental Nazi

When I was much younger I made plenty of detrimental desions thats no mystery. I was somewhere between 52-72 when one of the shittier choices I made was spending time at a local bar called The Brass Bollocks which was run by a Biker named Finely. Finely was in fact a well respected member of the community who was quick to help anyone in need and do whatever he could to fix peoples problems. In spite of Finley’s friendly reputation and welcoming nature his bar was a different story all together, and it had a reputation of its own.

The Brass Bollocks was not only a Biker Bar it just so happened to fall on a highly disputed territorial line that was constantly being fought over. The two gangs who were involved in the ongoing battle were The Heathens on one side of the line and The Brood on the other. This rivalry led to an uncountable number of drunken fights, brawls and beatings along with a handful of stabbings. For this reason Finley was in the habit of hiring unaffiliated Bikers as bouncers to work the door on busier nights.

There as one might be apt to imagine The Brass Bollocks was full of  colorful and delinquent individuals who frequented the bar on a daily basis, and I love people watching so I was completely at home. It also helped I knew all the bartenders, Finley and the bar’s head bouncer ( who went by Big Dick)  as well as a few regular patrons. One of the barfly bunch was a young twenty something guy by the name of Caucasian who’s second home was The Brass Bollocks. Caucasian always sat at the end of the bar farthest from the front door surrounded by a small group of associates who all dressed in black T-shirts with Metal bands or Biker shit on them. So I being young and a drinker just took it at face value that Caucasian and crew where in deed Bikers and paid it no more mind.

One night after a particularly rowdy night down at The Brass Bollocks I found myself back at my apartment along with Caucasian, Big Dick and there were 3-4 other people there but I haven’t a clue who the hell they were then or now (so that sucks for them). We were hanging out pounding beers, shooting the shit, and ripping through fat lines of cocaine when Big Dick remembered I liked to write. Big Dick suggested I show Caucasian a current piece I was working on and I thought fuck it why not. The piece was a violently distorted version of the game show “Press Your Luck” in the guise of a new Japanese gameshow where if you landed on a Whammy the contestant would be killed in creatively cruel and gorgeously gory fashions. The piece was a tribute to the absolutely awesome, wildly insane and often violent or humiliating world of Japanese gameshows which I’m a massive fucking fan. Caucasian really liked the piece to no end to say the least and asked if I could print out a copy for him. I printed a copy and handed it to Caucasian without a second thought as we all proceeded to keep partying until the light of day.

A week or two later at The Brass Bollocks Caucasian asked if I was interested in getting my gameshow piece published in a small magazine. Caucasian went on to explain that again it was just a small magazine, but popular locally having a small audience, and he knew the Chief Editor who he had shown my work already. Bottom line Caucasian said is if I was interested to let him know in the next couple of days about the possible publishing. I said sure thing and went about my day like any other. Over the next couple of days from time to time would find myself debating should or shouldn’t I have my writing published ending up each time totally indifferent.

A few days later again down at The Brass Bollocks I was having a beer and mulling over my decision to say yes and thusly having something I wrote published for all its worth. A woman named Birdie who I had seen here and there around the bar yet had never as much as said hello to her approached me. She sat down at the bar next to me and introduced herself she was the best friend of Caucasians wife Ariana. Birdie had wanted to touch base with me before I decided to have Caucasian go publish my piece so out of intense curiosity I asked why did she feel the need to contact me about my work and all. She told me she knew I may not be privy to who and what I was in reality dealing with. Birdie then told me that Caucasian was not a Biker but was the Head Neo Nazi of The State’s Neo Nazi Chapter (which state you ask, come on you know I’m not going to tell you.) Not only that but the magazine he was talking about having my piece published in was in fact a Neo Nazi Magazine. Well with the new information I obviously decided there was no way in Hell I was letting some Chief Neo Nazi publish my shit in some Neo Nazi Rag, and then I left as soon as I finished my beer without Caucasian noticing. I then avoided The Brass Bollocks like the fucking plague for a week or so hoping the issue would just fall by the wayside and that would be that plain and simple. Luckily for me it did by the time I returned to The Brass Bollocks the whole deal had been forgotten, and I was off the hook from having to deal any further with anyone associated with Neo Nazis.

SOME IMPORTANT SIDE NOTES:

  1. Out of them all only Caucasian actually had a shaved head.
  2. There was no Internet fueled Smartphone Social Media at the time this story took place.
  3. At this time in society it had become acceptable for balding men to shave their head instead of getting hair plugs, hair pieces or just dealing with a comb over. (But it hadn’t yet become so accepted that anyone balding or not could shave their head and not feel like they stuck out like a sore fucking thumb.)
  4. None of the Neo Nazis had racist tattoos such as Iron Crosses, Lighting Bolts or Swastikas.
  5. None of the Neo Nazis ever yelled “White Power.”
  6. None of the Neo Nazis wore clothing with Racist Propaganda or Nazi Emblems on them and they didn’t wear Doc Martins/Combat Boots either.
  7. The Neo Nazi were very discreet in their affairs going out of the way apparently to stay off the radar, there wasn’t anyone using Racist Language/Slurs.
  8. THE NEO NAZI COMMENTS ABOVE ARE TO SHOW LIFE ISN’T WHAT YOU SEE ON T.V. with rallying mobs screaming racial slurs sporting swastika arm bands or like the fucking Hollywhore movies like American History X.
  9. REMEMBER its what YOU DON’T SEE that you SHOULD be scared of.