Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring PUMPKIN SPICE – WHITE WOMAN SEASON byOne of Our Favorite Animators Meatcanyon. MeatCanyon’s real name is Hunter August Hancock better know by His online user name MeatCanyon. Hancock is an American Youtuber, Animator, Voice Actor, Comedian, Writer, and Director who makes Parody Animations of Popular Characters (say Sponge Bob for instance). Some viewers of MeatCanyon’s Animations have been Described them in just One Single Word “Horrifying”. A common on going gag in Hancock’s video’s is that Something Normal or Mundane gets You Killed or Possible Worse.
One of the Key Reasons We get a Real fucking Kick Out of this Particular MeatCanyon Cartoons is the Social Commentary. First Off Let’s all fucking Face it this Pumpkin Spice Obsession that People have is Way the Hell Out of Control at this Point. It was Annoying Enough when it was just Fucking Starbucks (or Starbucks as We refer to Them as) Pimped Their Pumpkin Spice Coffee every fucking October Relentlessly. Then every Other Motherfucker started Peddling a Pumpkin Spice Version of Their fucking Products from Coffee Creamer to Spam. Yeah that’s fucking Right fucking SPAM the Infamous Canned fucking Meat adds Pumpkin Spice to the Ears and Assholes or Whatever Meat Scrap Dog Food They Use. Again I Think We all can fucking Agree when there is a Pumpkin Spice Spam shit has Gone WAY TOO fucking Far.
Now as Far as Starbucks is Concerned its Nothing More than a Caffeine Fueled Scam. Coffee is Simply Hot Water Filtered through fucking Coffee Bean Grounds so Essentially it’s Hot Caffeinated Coffee Flavored fucking Water. And We could care the fuck Less about all the Bullshit Gimmicks (There Others then just the Pumpkin Spice Shit) like Whip Cream Topping, Sprinkle of fucking Cinnamon, Adding Caramel fucking Drizzle it’s all Horseshit. Also We Do Not Give a Flying fuck that They call Their Employees as fucking Baristas or That They sell fucking Fruit. Not to Mention the Pathetically Lame CDs (Yeah fucking CDs believe that Shit) by People NO ONE GIVES A RAT’S ASS ABOUT which is Why Their CD is being Sold at a Pompous Over Rated Commercialized Coffee Shop Chain.
Bottomline on this Starbucks bullshit is They try WAY TOO FUCKING HARD to come off as Some Authentic High Class Italian Coffee Shop. The Reality it’s Run by Greedy Corporate Whores and is a Americanized Wannabe Classy European/Italian Bistro when it’s just a SCAM to get Gullible Gimmick Loving Lemmings to Pay $9 for Hot Coffee Flavored Water. If Your a Starbucks Fan and get all Bent about this Please Go Butt Chug a $12 DickNip-Dipshit-Half Caff Motherfucking Mocha Latte on Us (and Don’t forget the fucking Pumpkin Spice Asshole)!!!
Welcome to Another Installment of Strange and Disturbing Videos Featuring ROBERT HELPMANN. This Series 0f 10 (Not 12 as some People Incorrectly Claim) is One Hell of a Ride so You might want to Strap in for this One Folks.
Robert Helpmann is a Youtube Channel created on July 12, 2015 which in itself is Unremarkable. What is Interest is on the Same Day The Owner(s) of the Channel Posted 10 Videos in just under an Hour after Being created, and No Other Content has Ever Been Posted Since.
The 10 Video Series centers around what appears for all Intents and Purposes to be a Dead Body Wrapped Up and Tied in Black Garbage Bags or Perhaps a Black Tarp of some sort. The Body is apparently Named Daisy (which some wonder if it’s a Reference to the saying “Pushing Up Daisies”) and the Name Daisy appears in Every Video, Video Description, and Tag. Some Viewers have Hypothesized that the Weird trend of Objects being Moved, and Spontaneously Popping into the Videos are signs that Daisy’s Spirit/Ghost is still Lingering about. Also lastly in the Daisy theme is that a Picture of a Daisy Flower is used as the Channel’s Icon as well.
The Other Person in the Videos appears every so often is a Masked Killer who is found of carrying a Large Butcher’s Knife. When He appears in Videos He actively interacts with Daisy some times Nurturing Her or Stabbing Her (Which seems redundant considering She is already Dead). The Unknown Masked Killer first appears in the Reflection of a Mirror so keep a Sharp Eye Out.
Now Detractor’s are quick to state that They believe the Videos are Staged because the Body or Daisy Isn’t the Size of a Human Adult. This is a Particularly Narrow View and a Rather Snap Assumption on Their part. I say this because simply Not All Dead People are Adults Daisy may very well be the Corpse of a Deceased Teenager, or a Juvenile, or perhaps it’s even more simply the Body of a Petite Woman.
Also Many People along the way have Speculated that there are More People Involved in the Daisy Video Series than just the Masked Killer and The Corpse. The Basis for this is whoever is the Typist for the Video Descriptions Never uses the words “I” or “Me” instead They use “We” and “Ours”.
In All the Videos in the Series at one point a Screen Flashes with what looks like randomly jumbled words, but theres more to it. If You take a screen shot of Each group of Words and Overlap them You’ll see they comprise an entire Poem. As it Turns out it’s actually Not a Poem but a Children’s Nursery Rhyme Titled The Gay Lady that was first published in the Book Gammer Gurton’s Garland of Nursery Rhymes in 1784, and is as Follows:
There was a lady all skin and bone;
Sure such a lady was never known:
It happened upon a certain day.
This lady went to church to pray
When she came to the church stile.
There she did rest a little while:
When she came to the churchyard.
there the bells so loud she heard.
When she came to the church door,
She stopped to rest a little more:
When she came the church within,
The person prayed ‘gainst pride and sin.
Oh looking up, on looking down,
She saw a dead man on the ground.
And from his nose unto his chin
The worms crawled out, the worms crawled in.
Then she unto the parsen said;
Shall I be so when I am dead;
O yes! O yes, the parson said,
You will be so when you are dead.
Here the lady screams.
The Name of the Channel Robert Helpmann if You Google it will Discover He was an Australian Actor/Dancer leading some to Believe there is a Direct Tie in. One of the things They Base this on is the Fact in the Beginning of His Career Robert Spelled His Last Name with only One N. Robert later changed the Spelling by adding the Additional N because He was a Bit Superstitious, and He didn’t want the Letters in His Name to Add up to 13. This is just the Tip of one of the More Elaborate Theories, but it Honestly the One I Found Truly Intriguing.
There’s Actually quite a Childlike Aspect to/in the Daisy Series as a Whole. Examples include one Video Titled Hide And Seek another is about being Tucked in at Night. Also there is the Description for the Video Titled Daisy Tumble it states “Don’t Worry Daisy We’ll Kiss It Better” which is How a Parent would relate to Their Child when They are Injured/Hurt.
In the Description for the Video Daisy Helps Out In The Kitchen it says “Scrumptious Meals A-Plenty!” The Word Scrumptious just Also happens to be the Name of a Family in the Iconic 1968 American Musical Adventure Fantasy Film Chitty-CHitty-Bang-Bang (Who play a Huge Role in the Film). While Robert Helpmann played Many Villains during His Acting Career including playing the Role of The Devil Four Separate Times. That Aside Helpmann’s most Famous and Well Known Role (in America and the UK) was playing the Role of the Infamous Child Catcher in Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang. Over the Years the Film has become a Part of the Holiday Tradition becoming a Classic Christmas Staple, and it’s Shown on Numerous Television Stations Every Year.
Every Daisy Video contain Music or Audio played in Reverse and in Almost Every Video it the Same Song called “Santa Claus Hides In Your Phonograph”. The Song supposed to be a Promotional Present meant to Psych Kids Up for the Holidays in the 1920’s. There are Two Exceptions and they are the Videos Daisy Unwinds along with the Video Daisy Playing. The song in those two particular Videos is Also the Same Song, but the Song is the 1925 song “I’m Gonna Charleston Back To Charleston” by The California Ramblers.
SO adding up the Channel Name, The Movie, the Songs in the Video’s, the Childlike Undertones through out, and the Fact the Book that the Children’s Nursery Rhyme has the Word “Garland” displayed prominently in its Title what Could it All Mean??? Well ask Yourself is it possible that Daisy Represents Christmas Itself? She’s Wrapped Up like a Present, When She Arrives in the First Video Everyone is Happy, and When in the Lats Video Daisy Leaves Everyone is Saddened and Distraught. This would be like the Excitement of it of Christmas Day Arriving and the Depressing Anti Climactic Following Day. You could also ask Yourself could the Daisy Videos be a Representation or Interpretation of the 12 Days of Christmas?
I personally side with Those Who Surmise that the Daisy Video Series is a Social Commentary on Christmas, and that Commentary is Christmas is Dead. The Heart of the Christmas Holiday used to be about Friends and Family and spending quality time with Both. Nowadays Consumerism has Corrupted the Holy Hell out of Christmas reducing it to just Pure Unadulterated Capitalism. In Short its Cash Over Christ as Greed has Commercialized Christmas to No End making it about Profits over People and Finances over Family. Christmas had been so Compromised by the Cash is King Mentality if Jesus did come back He wouldn’t recognize His own fucking Birthday Anymore. Christmas is the Ultimate Child Catcher.
Do to the insanely rigorous, highly detailed, and labor intensive nature of said Quiz only the TOP 20 Answers are Listed.
For the Rest of the Answer Key Results just shoot Us a Email at fyourblog404@gmail.com that simply says “DECODER RING”.
The Grading System is Strait Forward: Each Alphabetical Letter has been assigned a Numerical Value. Once You answered ALL 25 Questions You simply add up Your answers. Then check the Total against The Answer Key Located Below.
A. = 1, B.=2, C=3, D=4, E=5 and So On and So Forth.
The Top 25 Answers:
If You answers are ALL ODD: Your a fucking Wild Card. You deal in the Unconventional, and Unorthodox which leads some People to call You an Innovative Genius or Batshit Crazy. Your intensity drives Your Creativity, but if left unchecked it spiral out of Control words Self Destruction. Your walking an EXTREMEly thin line between Your own Personal Utopia or Your own Personal Hell on Earth. Remember Swords only have Two Sides.
If Your Answers were ALL EVEN: Your a walking talking Text Book Personality. Your Bland and Mundane the equivalent of a Blank piece of Copier Paper .You never allowed Yourself to Be Yourself, and thus suffocated your Personality under Your own self implemented Restrictions. Break The Cookie Cutter that Molded You and Find Yourself before its TOO LATE. DOn’t let Your fucking disappointment drive You into the Grave of Regret.
If You Scored 1-24: Your indecisive I bet You take fucking forever to make a discussion. STOP ANALYZING EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE! Rock The Fucking Boat and Live DON’T JUST EXIST.
If Your Scored a 25: Break out the Tin Foil and Start making Hats, and Hanging Coat Hangers from Your Ceiling because Your about to be ABDUCTED BY MOTHERFUCKING ALIENS.
If You Scored 26-29: You will Travel to The Land of the Rising Sun more commonly known as Japan. You will go to Climb to the Summit of Mount Fuji. Unfortunately for You You hike through the Northwestern Flank of Mt. Fuji through Aokigahara Forrest or as its more commonly known The Suicide Forrest. Aokigahara is Notoriously known as the WORLD’S SECOND MOST POPULAR SUICIDE LOCATION. You like so many others will simply Vanish never to be seen again. NO SWIMMING IN THE SEA OF TREES KIDS.
If You Scored a 30: Your a Trendy Hipster. Commercialism Defines You, YOU ARE YOUR POSSESSIONS. Your a fucking Sheep moseying to the Slaughter as it were. You should seriously think about doing the ENTIRE WORLD a fucking Favor and Hurry up and Die. Sorry You just SUCK that BAD.
If You Scored a 31-39: Your Genetically Prone to Bear Attack so watch Your ass in the Woods. Smokey is NO Friend of Yours I assure You of that. He too is a Bear and will maul You possibly to Death just like Yogi or Boo Boo.
If You Scored a 35: You Have Genital Herpies, but hey thats better than fucking AIDS. Best You Stock up on Valtex now before its TOO LATE.
If You Scored a 36-39: You Will Be Killed By Spontaneous Combustion. Wish We had some advice unfortunately there is NO RESEARCH or Reliable Available Data on the Phenomenon.
If You Scored a 40: You will be part of the Colonization of Mars so Set Phasers to Stun, and Have a Safe Trip. Happy Travels and God Speed You Black Emperor.
If You Scored 41-44: We hate to be the ones to break this to You. Your Guardian Angel is a Demon in Disguise. We Recommend You See The Catholic’s about a Exorcism or Seek out a Reki Master to rid You of this certain Divinity Based issue. Tell Linda Blair Hi For Us.
If You Scored 45: Congratulations Your Related to Caligula one of the Sickest and Twisted Roman Emperors in all of Human History. Sorry not everyone can be related to Tom fucking Cruise or some other Famous Asshole.
If You Scored 46-49: You are Destined to be killed prematurely by a Tragic and Freak Colonic Accident. Talk about the Shit Hitting the Fan.
If You Scored a 50: WINNER, WINNER CHICKEN DINNER & GIVE YOURSELF A CIGAR. Make it a Fidel Castro Turn in His Grave.
If You Scored a 51-54: You will make Your Fortune by Buying Pork Belly Stocks and Selling Gold (Stocks). Just ask Mortimer I’ll bet You a Dollar He’s Trade Places with You in a fucking Heart Beat baby.
If You Scored a 55: Live Like An Angel, Die Like a Demon because You will certainly be Killed By Death. We’re NOT just spitting Venom are We Lemmy.
If You Scored a 56-59: You will be the First Person in History to Invent an ACTUAL WIDGET. You can use Economics to bring it to Reality.
If You Scored a 60: Your Not Real. You Believed Yourself into Existence. You Imagined Your Fiction into Fact. Keep the Faith or Literally Fade Away.
If You Scored 61-64: Your Your Own Doppelgänger a Non Biological related look a like Double (often considered Evil or Supernatural by Nature) of a Living Person. Technically You shouldn’t even still Exist. The belief goes if One meets Their Doppelgänger They BOTH WILL CEASE TO EXIST. You see They cancel Each other Out of Existence like adding a Positive and a Negative Number. Well at Least Germany is Nice this Time of Year.
If You Scored a 65: Break Out the Spandex because You will be joining an 80’s Hair Metal Cover Band destined to become Local Legends. Just be sure to Remember along the way That Every Rose Has Its Thorn.
If You Scored 66-69: Get ready You’ll be Heading to Ozzy Osbourne’s Final Final Tour when it comes to your particular Town/City. You will have seats in the First Row Front and Center, BUT OZZY will be Tripping His Balls Off on a cocktail of Hallucinogens. Under the Influence Ozzy will Hallucinate that Your a Giant Fruit Bat, and will Bite Your fucking Head Off. At Least You won’t need to get Rabies Shots.
If You Scored a 70: You will have an illustrious Career as a Glu Sniffing Rhine Stony Professional Line Dancing Disco Cowboy. So Break Out the BeDazzler and Go fucking Nuts!
If You Scored a 71-74: You will become The World’s First BITCOIN MULTI BILLIONAIRE, The King of Crypto Currency. Unfortunately its NOT a RECOGNIZED CURRENCY by the Rest of the World so Spending it will be impossible. At least You can treat Yourself to one hell of a Dark Web Shopping Spree.
If You Scored a 75: You will be the One to Find Jimmy Hoffa who then union discovery will make You Disappear. At least its better than finding The Infamous Bum Farto (and YES Bum Farto is/was a Actual Real Life Person, He’s good for a Google.)
If You Scored a 76-79: You will Win a Noble Prize for Your Research and Development of Robotics. Then You will venture into Fringe Robotic Sciences and start Experimenting on Yourself. Eventually You will become a Certified Cyborg, BUT You’ll have become Addicted to Robotic Body Modification. You will keep going until You in the end are 100% Robot. Look on the bright side Perhaps SkyNet is Hiring.
If You Scored an 80: You will Abandon Your current life, Home, Friends, Family, and Possessions for a Life as a Carnie bouncing From County Fair to County Fair, and Traveling Circus to Traveling Circus. You’ll become a Functional Alcoholic with a growing Meth and Pain Killer Addiction. You will Die leaving a 90 Pound, Toothless, Jaundice Ridden, Sickly Yellow Colored Corpse. You should have Listened to Nancy fucking Regan and just said NO.
If You Scored a 81-84: You will get Married and have a large Family. You will still live close to Your Parents and Siblings. You will have a successful enough career in Your Profession of Choice, and as so You will want to Care for Them incase You Die suddenly. So You get a Hefty Life Insurance Policy. 6 Months Later on One of Your Family Members (possibly working with One or More additional Family Accomplices) will Murder You for the Life Insurance Money. Remember kiddies One of the FASTEST way to get Yourself Killed is Buying Life Insurance.
If You Scored a 85: You will become hopelessly Addicted to Hardcore Fetish Pornography and as a Result You will for Go Sleep and Food until You’ve Literally Masturbate Yourself to Death. Remember Kiddies TOO MUCH of a GOOD thing can fucking kill Your ass.
If You Scored a 86-89: You will meet Your Idol, Murder Them, and Take Their Place. DYI Bodysnatchers.
If You Scored a 90: You will be the First and Only Person to Navigate down to the VERY BOTTOM of The Maritime Trench more than 36,201 feet Below Sea Level. You will see Wonders that No other Human has ever laid eyes on. You’ll see Aquatic Sea Creatures No One even knew Existed. You will see the Secrets Beneath The Sea no one has been able to See, but not due to a lack of trying mind You. Sad to say You will never be able to tell a single Soul what You saw as You will Be Devoured by a Undiscovered Species of Giant Predatory and Deadly Jellyfish.
If You Scored a 91: Your Fate is Sealed. You one Day take a Tour of the Distillery where Your Favorite Alcoholic Beverage is Made. During the Tour some impatient Asshole will shove His/Her way forward from the Back of the Group to the Front. Inevitably this Unknown Asshole will invariantly push You into a MASSIVE Fermentation Tank where You will Drink Yourself to a Euphoric Death while waiting to be fished out. So much for Drinking Responsibly.
If You Scored a 92: Well We’re not sure what the fuck to say really. 92 is obviously a PERFECT Score, Yet NOBODY IS IN FACT PERFECT. As far as We can tell You must be an Inter Dimensional Entity or Being from a Parallel Universe. Thats It. Thats all We got.
Presented By Les Sober 
Presented By Les Sober (1257IMYFFY)
By Les Sober