communication – f-your blog

For Shits and Giggles : Where’s The Baby

So another motherfucking Monday is upon us trying to monopolize the course of our week! So to combat the bullshit here is todays FYB post featuring WHERE’S THE BABY by Spine_apples who describes their work as “shitty animation man”. I say their because I don’t think just because the word “man” appears in the quote that it’s an indicator to the sex of the animator. Anyway this 1 minute and 42 seconds of insane absurdity (that granted has a surprisingly funny but kind of grim ending) should serve as a fucking universal public service announcement for all parents currently on the planet.

PSA: DEAR PARENTS THIS IS HOW THE REST OF THE WORLD SEES YOU. YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS SO CUT THE CRAP.

Later,

Justine Sane

Misunderstandings, mishaps, and misguidance….

Sometimes things are done that are irreversible. Whether they are words, whether they are thoughts, whether they are actions, whatever means the university has to dispense of them, they to be insurmountable when they occur.

I almost wrote about one of these misunderstandings lately. Fortunately the gods of social media, let the misunderstanding between the X on my browser and the little button called submit blur. This was a positive misunderstanding.

However most misunderstanding is not positive. Most of it is what divides people from one another. Misunderstanding is different then a lie. Lies are purposeful and can be hurtful whether or not they were intended to be. It’s just that most lies can be exposed as such. As lies, as mistrusts, as transparent as the shaky foundations they were built from.

They can be fixed in many cases, harmless in others, and cause a complete lack of mistrust and mishap and all the other mis- words you want to think of when done on a frequent basis.

Misunderstanding is where the real problem lies. Too many people are too busy with their lives, with the things going on; important and complete frivolity to even bother to try and understand others and the things they say and the things they do to try and grasp a more complete picture.

Of course there are people who I would rather have misunderstand me then know the complete and total picture. We repaint this on a daily basis, usually just a few strokes here and there on the canvas, other times we wish to start a whole new work of art. Usually it is just a few strokes here and there with an occasional day of massive labour to complete a few more pieces of the puzzle then usual.

Who then are we most upset about when a total lack of understanding occurs??? For me this is friends, parents, lovers, mainly the people closest to me in my life whom I wish to share more of myself with then the casual stranger. Unfortunately this misunderstanding occurs in these situations as well and sometimes it gets a bit more deep then it should, whether the fault of one party or both.

For myself the part about misunderstanding and mishaps, the part occurring involving former lovers and friends, current and former, have shaped things more then anything involving my family.

For me, at least in all my experiences so far, the misunderstandings for me that are hardest are those involving love. Friends and lovers. Lovers and friends.

Love actually????
So what is love? It is a word some people throw around as if they were throwing a penny into the grab penny, take a penny or a penny into a water fountain; while to others it is something that is rarely said in fact all too rarely.

People are so afraid of this word for the most part however but for it to be said meaning friendly love and respect it is rarely done with a throat penetrating kiss or even with a very deep look in the eye unless maybe you are looking at one of your parents. Even if you look at them too deeply, that might be considered incest in some regions.

However when love is said to mean something more then just the friendly type, it is done with a certain tone, it is done with a deep look in the eyes, it is followed by a kiss, a feeling of lightness and is not thrown around like pennies. It should be only used in very special circumstances and once it becomes fodder as a prelude to a kiss or rubbish in order to get your wife to throw up her legs it becomes meaningless as a person telling it to their acquaintances, frenemies, and one night stands.

I believe love can be shown in many different forms. The words, “I love you.” only mean so much. Actions are what show love. Doing nice things for people you care about, treating people with respect and decency consistently not when it is convenient, and holding the door for an old lady show love. Love for your fellow man.

While a lot of those things are just common courteousy, well guess what??? These are all love, just not the Romeo and Juliet bullshit that society raises us on. If they make children read that, why not give a counter point about Syd and Nancy, for better yet something boring about people such as my grandparents who have been together for nearly 60 years and have truly survived the old adage through better and through worse.

Back to misunderstanding…….and love……..

So what happens when love or lack thereof it is misunderstood???? It is a rather unfortunate event. Some people I have really cared about and definitely loved in a friendly, non-romantic manner, well frankly I am afraid to tell them I love them. For some people it is such a tabu, as if i told them to drink a cup of their own urine or walk naked into a church. And it hurts to not be able to say it, even without a look in their eyes, even without meaning, even without a passionate kiss, even without as slight as a passing glance.

It hurts because I feel that is what they need at the moment. Because I have not meant anyone yet who does not like being told that they are loved. It is just when people misunderstand the love that they are being given in which the issues begin.

I’m maybe a victim of this misunderstanding. Maybe because I was raised on Romeo and Juliet and not Syd and Nancy my ideas of romantic gestures are old fashioned, not newfangled. Maybe I’m the last person left who thinks of something sweet as candlelight and a homecooked meal and a freshly drawn bath and rose petals as being appropriate gestures of love, courtship; rather then a bottle of jim beam, a flea ridden motel, and a few packets of astroglide.

And since I sometimes believe this to be true, these are a few things I thought were universal, a few things I would never give to someone except under special circumstances.

The things

Anyway like I said maybe this is because I have too much of a grip on what societal norms seem to be, especially for a person who does not consider himself very much in the norm, but well I do I guess……

Flowers- I feel somewhat that flowers given to someone symbolize a certain love, however this pretty much can be devised into, what the note says if there is a note and if there is not the abundance of the flowers. Special circumstances also can apply like a housewarming gift, a holiday like mothers day, weddings, funerals, etc. However flowers given for no particular reason to me are not common places unless associated with love.

Chocolates- While chocolates never asked to be brought into this whole love mess they fucking have. Thankfully they come in those little gay heart shaped boxes for Valentines Day and come in cheap little packages like a Hershey bar to differentiate between the two of them.

Stuffed animals- Stuffed animals didn’t ask to be brought into this mess either but they have been. I have always thought as them as something a guy wins for his girl/boyfriend, child, wife at the shore and as nothing more or less. Especially when used a prelude to a sexual encounter or as the aftercare for being told you were like someone’s soulmate. But hey maybe I’m just old fashioned. Maybe I’m just stupid.

Banners from airplanes at the Jersey shore- If someone is going to dole out the cash to say they love you being dangled from an airplane or dangled any sort of thing for you up for the whole word to see, it’s either love or a psycho with way too much money.

(women only, maybe men?)- Undies from a place like Victoria Secret- Wait I don’t know about women, but can only imagine this would be love, psychopathy, or a husband buying their wife underwear 4 sizes too small as a suggestion his chick got a bit too big.

Anyway that’s about it I’m getting stupid and I’m more sure about it this time.

The ENDish

It is a shame, that they say all things must come to an end. But in many cases, this is the complete truth. When misunderstanding and mishaps combined equal more then the love of any kind it is very hard to repair without an open line of communication. It would seem for this not to be a very hard thing, yet most people do not wish to maintain communications such as that.

Yet it is the reason that I do things that may seem dumb to others. Like blog. Like saying hello to strangers and holding doors for the elderly. Like listening to others even when they have reached the twentieth degree of annoyance.
Like not needing to hide behind a private profile on social media. Like treating people in equal fashion and manner no matter who they are surrounded by or who I am surrounded by.

Of course I have not been perfect in this and sometimes fall back on my old ways of being a complete and total jackass. If it were perfection I were looking for, I would never have had any friends, any lovers, or even had a family to hold onto at this point in my life.

It is also the reason that people sometimes have very strong opinions of me without getting to know me and just knowing my words or a few choice actions. It is also the reason I may come across as a know-it-all, misinformed, stupid, intelligent, caring, asinine, naive, friendly, or as a complete jackass. But I would rather have people know me or try to have them know me then to constantly run and hide behind a million walls. Yes, it is healthy to have some walls but when all you are doing is building walls, there is no time to enjoy the house behind them.

So for those of you I consider my family and friends I would consider to be like family.

I love you.

For those of you I consider to be little more then acquaintances or frenemies or just random people on my friend’s list or people I do not even know.

I love you too.

And for those of you with whom I may be going through misunderstanding, misfortune, misguidance, mishaps, (pick your favorite -mis word).

I love you still. (and no I’m not lookin’ deep in your eyes)

By Spacedog

Text-A-Rama: Another Round of Absurd Insanity

Yup you got it I’m here to dish up another heaping helping of Late Night Texting (between SpaceDog and My self) served Insanity Side Up with a side of Shit Talking.

SpaceDog: Also you can add “hey Goggle, fuck off” to the list of Fucks. So i either have a broken heater or my upstairs neighbor has the loudest vibrator known to man. Overtime i hear the loud buzz i turn up my tv as loud as possible (or music) and no matter what after 10 minutes it goes away. What the fuck could it possibly be if not the heater making the bitch of a buzz noise? My heater has not ran as further reference.

Les: I agree fuck Google, fuck’ed straight to the 9th circle of Hell for all I fucking care, search shit engine. What kind of heating do you have exactly I don’t remember from my visits. My brain is like a fucking Old Car. Its still runs but it takes a few minutes to warn the hell up. Dunno did you change the Filter?

SpaceDog: Baseboard like a basehead. isn’t basehead the original crackhead?

Les: Oh well fuck the filter idea. LMFAO. Yeah before crackheads were baseheads. Its the fucking evolution of Crack Cocaine! Before crack people freebased combining Cocaine and Baking Powder into a smokable form of powder. Richard Pryor set himself on fucking fire free basing.

SpaceDog: Probably the fuck not they don’t do shit around here.

Les: Been there and I had to fucking pay an HOA quarterly for doing DICK. Home Owning Assholes.

SpaceDog: Yo these asses left the sprinkler on during a nor easter which wouldn’t have been bad but it was set to go off so it would pound against my windows every 4 hrs for 15 minutes. I had to go out in the rain climb through bushes, throw the sprinkler into the lawn, wade threw bushes and mud and shut the fucker off.

Les: What kind of dumbfuck leaves the sprinkler during a fucking nor Easter?! Even if the sprinkler timer is pre set they could hit the kill switch or some shit to shut it down. Goddamn thats a bunch of unnecessary horseshit. I’d be pissed as hell too. Who needs that shit.

SpaceDog: So like literally after i get this urge to write in the silence my apartment is making all kinds of noises. LOL. I have not wanted to sit in silence since i stopped living with Eon 8 fucking years ago. In other news, the top breaking news tonight is Kanye realized he was being used by Donald and is staying away from politics. Lmfao

Les: Trump played Kanye the way Kim Jong-un played fucking Dennis Rodman LMFBO!!! Kanye is the African American’s answer to Alex “Asshole” Jones. Holy Fuckster 8 years is a fucking Prison sentence. EON A-LA-CRACKHEAD with a guitar, the coffee house crackhead cunt.

SpaceDog: Kanye the past 2 years is like Clint Eastwood talking-to that chair for 2 years straight.

Les: Lmfbo true. I want to see a fight between Charlie”Tigers Blood” Sheen Vs. Kanye “Dragon Energy” West.

SpaceDog: Hey u discovered any good way to make things disappear from continue watching on Netflix? I wish i could relabel this section Things That Suck Ass and Baited Into Subtitles because all you lazy fucks translated was the title.

Les: No I wish I had. Baited into subtitles LOL! I’ve seen foreign movies on Netflix with NO Subtitles or Over Dubbing so if you don’t speak the language your outright fucked. Working on a List of Fucks part 2. There were so many more Lmfao.

SpaceDog: Didn’t realize there were that many more.

Les: I didn’t either until I started thinking about “Fuck….” all over again.

SpaceDog: So hopefully i don’t sleep tonight as long as yesterday. I slept from 11:30 pm to 5 pm. Ok i got coffee at 7 and that kept me awake till 9 but thats a bit more sleep than i’d prefer.

Les: Sounds like you have Rip Van Winkle Syndrome or some shit.

SpaceDog: I feel like i have either strep, Legionaries or mono.

Les: Perhaps Narcolepsy or a bad bout of boredom Lmfbo!

SpaceDog: Walking pneumonia is another possibility.

Les: Thats Sucks Snail Scrotum. Being sick sucks Blue Whale Balls for sure. Goddamn disease. Fuck disease.

SpaceDog: Grocery shopping when sick sucks ass. I literally went down every aisle and realized all that was in my cart were peppermints.

Les: I might think about hitting up a fucking doctor just in case. better safe than dead. YOLO Peppermints riding SOLO!

SpaceDog: I have 3 antibiotics laying around. Was thinking of taking copra but idk why 1 tbh. My sickness started when i started hearing that noise. Go figure. Woo hoo i have a porn app on my phone I’m officially an old perv.

Les: Porn App you dirty old fucker, you use an app?! I just hit up Youporn on my phone if need be.

SpaceDog: Its android only ask file from videos.com

Les: PornHub Ve. YouPorn. Stumpfucker Films is all Amputee Porn.

SpaceDog: Im finally out of mental and penile anguish from seeing a prolapsed butthole.

Les: Dear fucking God thats a seriously fucked up thing to see, burns into your fucking brain forever.

SpaceDog: Can we make a show for Netflix? I mean if haters back off was a show why can’t i just go around filming ivy savage all day?

Les:Where the hell did you see some sick shit like that at?!! Netflix is a good fucking question you got me there.

SpaceDog: I really just want to see a rim job but whatever fucking site i was on i guess i included too many search words and boom it was all hanging the fuck out.

Les: Case of Mangled Rectal Trama. Can you take a shit with a prolapsed asshole?! What if you tied 2 prolapsed rectums together?! Can you blow it up like a fucking balloon animal?!

SpaceDog: Not just like oh your asshole is swollen from a hard fuck, no i mean i probably saw prostate. Idk I’m glad i didn’t have that picture in my head when the lady at hurry back inn told me about her reversed bowels 15 years ago.

Les: Reversed Bowels?!! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ABOUT?! Lmfba!

SpaceDog: I miss Leonard’s

Les: Leonard’s? Bloody Stool is my new favorite band.

SpaceDog: The bar on Crocker rd in Spamilton that was near my parents house.

Les: Oh OK I have no memory of that bar, then again I don’t remember a whole hell of a lot from most bars.

SpcaeDog: Its some pizza bar now. I don’t miss the other bar on that street. All i remember is it was the first time in my life i incited an angry mob. The other were at mcguinns and at the lottery ticket machine.

Les: Lmfao what the hell was the angry mob thing about because it sounds entertaining.

SpaceDog: Which One? LOL

Les: Any and all of Course.

SpaceDog: Was so crunk i thought i was at a gay bar and got catty at some random dude and he took it as fighting words, then started shit with a different dude. Mcguinns got kicked out for being overly intoxicated but stole 3 cell phones on the way out (pre smartphone era)

Les: Catty and Crunk sounds like a fucking crime tv cop buddy detective shows from the fucking 70’s.

SpaceDog: Lottery machine i stuck money in the scan winning ticket hole and the machine went completely dead with a line of like 30 people behind me. Machine went completely dead for 5 minutes but then took 5 more to reboot.

Les: Why the hell did it need to Reboot?!

SpcaeDog: Quite possibly the 10 longest sober minutes of my life. Took a hammer to them after not finding any kompromat on them.

Les: Thats a real Lottery Machine Motherfucker.

SpaceDog: I aslo lost a sneaker in mcguinns so i came home with 1 shoe. Like hell i was going back for it though LOL

Les: LOL think we have all been there with the coming home drunk to sober up with one less shoe. Fuck and No I wouldn’t have gone back for it either.

SpaceDog: That literally was the only time i walked solo to mcguinns. I was more a crystal diner take teenage boys in the bathroom to do shots with me.

Les: a Bathroom Bar. Sounds like Ye Old Crystal Diner. I knew it well. Used to go there with The Arminian, Eon, and Homicidal Hippy when we were dealing drugs together.

SpaceDog: Its the route 1 diner now. Not 24 hrs. Shittsville has zero 24 hrs shit now. Quite possibly the only WaWa gas station on Earth that closes.

Les: Last time I went to the Crystal Diner I ran into Jack Off Jimmy V who tried to be a condescending cunt and get in my face for being stoned as well as drunk, and I was all I used to be your fucking drug dealer you bitch ass bitch. What Jimmy didn’t know is though we hadn’t seen each other in several years I still knew the shit that happened to him i that time the dumb twat. I informed him I knew of his addiction to Tart heroin followed by rehab and then a full scale metal breakdown (schitzophrenia I think)SO FUCK THAT JACK OFF.

SpaceDog: Yeah judgey people suck. Thats pretty fucking funny.

Les: What?! No longer open 24 hrs and with a cliche stupid ass name that really fucking sucks. RIP Crystal Diner a True Dive Diner.

Les: This Fucks list part 2 is actually longer than the original. Lmfao! Original word count was 1,063. Part 2 word count is 1,255.

SpaceDog: Are there repeat fucks or original fucks only?

Les: Don’t think there any repeats, hope fucking not. Its hard to keep count it gave me a fucking migraine but i HATE doubles, it looks like your stacking the deck and bullshit like that.

SpaceDog: Yeah i sure as all hell don’t feel like counting. Reading the first list of fucks was exhausting and made me feel dirty.

Les: Lmfao Exactly. I figure if there just so happens to be a repeat no one will every notice unless they have some serious fucking OCD. Also .49 cent Sushi is My Wife’s new favorite band. I just created a word SLUNT. Definition: A Slutty Cunt.

+End Transmission+

Thanks for Reading,

Brought to You By,

SpaceDog

Les Sober