Tag: conflict resolution

For Shits and Giggles: “The Text Read Around The World”

Today I received by far the fucking funniest text I’ve received in an eternity from C Nobody, and one I believe rivals Les and Spacedog’s TEXTPOCOLYPSE Posts. In fact this one singular text, in my opinion anyways, not only rivals but has outdone all Les and Spacedog’s texts combined. Yeah I’m that fucking sure of my self I said it and I’m not apologizing for it either.

This text standoff needs some explaining so here is a bit of the backstory in a nutshell. C Nobody enjoys spending time with his father, but what he doesn’t like is the fact his father is a Fox News junkie. You got it that means if and when C Nobody hangs out with his Father he is subjected to Fox News which like all of us at FYB think is complete fascist fucking bullshit republican propaganda more now than fucking ever. Anyways as you may imagine from time to time while visiting with his father C Nobody needs to vent, and thanks to technology he has the ability to text in these situations.

Anyway at 7:28 pm I received such a text from C Nobody, yet this wasn’t the typical type of text I get like “I’m losing my mind fox is so full of shit” or “I can’t stand having to see this bullshit” for example. This text was something special unto itself a true one of a fucking kind, and that is why I felt the need to share said text here on FYB.

C Nobody’s text to Justin Sane 7:28 pm on Wednesday:

“Motha fuckin shit…and fucking bullshit. Stupid fuckin fucks. Simple touched in the head fuck-a-roos. Momma said he was a “special” fuck. A unique fuck. So many stupid fucks I’m on the search for a smart fuck. Smart phone for a smart fuck. Stupid fucks make little stupid fucks that create other stupid fucks…Stupid fucks. Fucking retarded sir fuckingtons on tv. Only you can prevent fuckery approved and paid for by Joe Biden. Stupid fucking fucks from fox news. Stupid fox fuckers. Only stupid fucks fucks with fox. Fox fucking fuckers. Can’t deal with a left fuck, middle fuck or right fucks…All fucks have been revoked. Feel free to fucking call as I don’t almost ever fucking reject your calls….Should you feel the fucking need to call. Fucking fuckity fuck fuck. Yeah fox brought that out of me….Can’t believe my dad likes this bullshit lmao. America fuck yeah.”

                         \

There are SO many reasons that I love this goddamn text to such a great extent. First I absolutely get a kick out of it’s rather absurd nature by which I mean who are all these people exactly of whom he is speaking since the actual context comes at the end of the text. I also get a kick out of how at several points the text seems almost poetic in its aggressive madness. It also comes off as a some what bizarre social commentary on the state of the fucking world today. Of course it goes without saying I enjoy the Over the top use of and obscene variations of the word “fuck”. The last thing I like about this text is it earnestness it doesn’t in all actuality come of like a psychotic rage filled rant. The emotional tone of the text doesn’t feel anger, but mental exhaustion combined with frequent frustration over a prolonged period of time. Anyway we will have to sit back and see if C Nobody ever tops his own text.

See you when I see you,

  Justin Sane  

FYB: Behind The Scenes And Then Some

Hello and how the hell are ya,

Justin here with my new rebranded FYB UPDATES which allows the audience a peek behind the curtain at some of the fucking oddball bullshit and entertaining insanity that is FYB. I figured why not flesh out a few things to validate these posts to Les, and make it somewhat worth while. Anyway lets get the smaller shit out of the way right fast here.

  • We here at FYB have been talking over several collaboration concepts with C Nobody and N@P the main topic being discussed is starting a proper production company with the tentative working title: Vital Productions.
  • Les has been increasingly distracted by the world around him, and at this point it’s beginning to affect his capacity for creativity. LET SHIT GO LES YOUR HEART WILL THANK YOU IN THE END BY YOU KNOW NOT ATTACKING YOU. If you don’t chances are bud that you’ll slide down the slippery slope to becoming an ill adjusted drunk.

                   

  • A reoccurring topic as of late around here is Tumblr vs. Twitter. Twitter obviously is a much bigger/popular platform, BUT since 2016 it’s been constantly dominated by politics which killed off all creativity for the most part anyways. As for Tumblr it is a notably less popular platform in the social media universe (in fact some people don’t know it still even fucking exists), BUT it never succumbed to the influences of the outside world remaining artistic to its core. The other main distinction is Tumblr is now far darker than Twitter when it comes to the matter of content. Twitter due to the political climate has become more restrictive feeling than in the years prior to 2016.

  • Lastly Les is working on a piece that most people that are aware of it do not think is wise post, but I for one side with Les no doubt about that. Les’s point really is that writers write, and sometimes writers write to exorcize some of the demons dwelling in their heads. Anyway like I said I’m with Les because I think his point is valid by staying true to form and not complying on any front.

                    

  • For myself I bought a new truck a couple weeks back and its a fucking bad ass awesome truck at that. The process went ALMOST flawlessly with the acceptation of one day in particular. One of the things I have in common with Les is the determination to no matter fucking what go into debt. Something that royally chaps my ass is owing anyone anything. I fucking pride myself on paying my bills/debts on time and in full. This is why I have and will continue to buy all my vehicles in cash which actually means Pay in Full (no car payments and all). Anyways there is always one ignorant asshole in this case and I fucking kid you not this fucking jokers name was legitimately Johnny Dangerfield. I can’t (and won’t) go into what or how much of an assclown Johnny was, but because he was a belligerent lazy fuck I had to reconfigure my money which cost me a day before pick up. The guy just wanted me to do what the fuck was convenient for fucking him like a stubborn tool. I will end this by saying Johnny Dangerfield if your fucking out there FEDWIRE! FEDWIRE YOU USLESS FUCK!

                   

Now the current battle of the bullshit is Les and Otto are at odds once again and are BOTH being disagreeable fuckers about it. As I mentioned in a previous FYB UPDATE Otto was and has taken over the DEVIANT DETECTIVE Project, but it took like I dunno a nano fucking second before Otto and Les butted heads like belligerent fuckers. The fucking irony is Otto was taking over to make things easier and funner only to slam immediately into the cliche brick wall.

The first thing Otto wanted to do is to do al little rebranding of his own by changing the name from THE DEVIANT DETECTIVE to what he feels is the far more appropriate name MR. SNUFF. I for one don’t know if the name switch is “appropriate” so to say, YET it does make a hell of a lot more fucking sense all in all. That’s not all Otto wants he would like Les to delete the first 3 if I remember correctly installments of THE DEVIANT DETECTIVE all together. Otto believes this is important since he deems that they are no longer relevant, and thus they should be done away with once and for fucking all. Otto is a staunch believer in the whole fucking scorched earth approach to things much like when a great empire in history fell. One of the first things the conquerors did was to wipe the previous leaders influence off the face of their newly acquired empire.

Les on the other fucking hand simply refuses to accept a title change or delete a goddamn thing using “for prosperity” type defenses because in reality he’s taking it personal (which it certainly is not). This though is why the name change is important as it is relevant unless Les wants to go the Old Testament/ New Testament style like the bible. Les is accusing Otto of taking what he wants to use from THE DEVIANT DETECTIVE and leave the rest which is exactly what Otto is aiming for. IT’S CALLED EVOLUTION LES AND YOU DIDN’T HEAR THE DINOSAURS BITCHING ABOUT IT.

One thing I have come to learn with FYB’s whole trial by fire mentality is regardless of the job duties I came on board to handle my actually job is primarily laying mediator (or the voice of reason as Les’s wife refers to it as) between a feuding Otto and Les. Compromise is NOT in either of their vocabularies they are both all or nothing personality types. The kicker is Les knows Otto’s right he just can’t fucking bring himself to admit it, and I get it he basically feels like THE DEVIANT DETECTIVE is his baby and now Otto is the new stepfather on the scene wanting to raise the baby too. Being conflicted is fine but you can’t use that as a fucking excuse to the fucking point its jamming up the creative process. Ego is exclusively for idiots and assholes.

                   

Tomorrow I plan on presenting my solution to the situation which is if Les is so fucking hellbent on not deleting the earlier part of the series. I’m going to suggest Les keep THE DEVIANT DETECTIVE title, and just rename the lead fucking character. Simply, easy, and problem solved quickly. That way if once the series is evaluated as it were deleting would be minimal if actually required at all. There is a distinct possibility that they are fighting over nothing at all that they both jumped the gun as they are known to do.

We shall see wish me luck I’ll need it.

Later,

   Justine Sane  

Animation Abomination: ESKOS

Welcome to another Installment of Animation Abomination Featuring the 2009 Stop Motion Short ESKOS By British Puppeteer, Director, Writer, Animator, and Musician Barnaby Dixon. ESKOS is in Fact the Very First Video Posted by Dixon when He Joined Youtube in 2011. ESKOS to Me resembles what a Hybrid of the Band Tool’s Early Videos and Edgar Allen Poe’s The Raven would look like.

            

Brief Plot Summery:

a Team of Two “Disgrega Workers” (Disgrega is a Spanish Word that Translates to Disintegrates) Toil away everyday as some sort of Industrial Fishmongers. The Workers spend 12 hours a Day from 9-9 Butchering Large Fish and Packaging the Meat in Butcher’s Paper. One Night a Prehistoric  Sized Bird breaks into the Factory and Devours the Entire Stock of Fish in the Walk-in Freezer.

When One the Workers Returns to Work the following Day to find the Fish Supply Decimated to His/Her Great Dismay. The Bird (which in My Mind Resembles a Crow) and the Worker launch into a Game of Tom and Jerry as the Worker Tries to Rid the Factory of the Flying Fish Eating Fiend. The Second Worker arrives and The Two Workers end up in a Full Blown Fight over Their difference of Opinion on How to Handle the Situation. Will the “Crow” Escape Unscathed or will the Workers Rid Themselves of the Winged Pest Once and for All? You’ll just have to Watch and See for Yourself.

Enjoy.

Thanks For Watching,

  Presented By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (51/365)

The Smart Car began creeping down the Road at a Snails pace as the Driver was Teetering on the Edge of a Full Blown Panic Attack. The Driver’s Anxiety had shot up Astronomically having now Fully Realized the Consequences of the Situation He had gotten Himself Into. There was a Intoxicated Lunatic hanging onto the Back of His Car by the Rear Windshield Wiper which was both Dangerous and Illegal. Then again what could He possibly do about it in all reality? He had tried to Argue the Logic and Legalities as much as He could have, But Dizzy was Bigger, Intoxicated, and On the Verge of Becoming Who Knows How Violent?!  It didn’t make sense to Run the Risk of getting Murdered by Dizzy on the Grimy Sidewalk Considering a Possible Run in with The Police whoHe was pretty Certain, unlike Dizzy, wouldn’t Kill Him. And in that Split instant is When the Driver Instinctually Decided Risking Arrest Triumphed Over Risking Death.

            

“My fucking Great Grandmother’s piece of shit Hover Round Motorized Chair goes faster than this Glorified Golf Cart, and I’d like to get where I’m going BEFORE I’m fucking Dead.” exclaimed Dizzy.

“Safety First.” responded the Driver trying hard as hell to sound confident while Praying Silently to Himself that His comment didn’t unlock another Level of Lunacy in Dizzy.

“We just got Lapped by DANCING DAVE which is fucking PHENOMENAL considering Dancing Dave DOESN’T MOVE! He’s STATIONARY AS SHIT! HE’S A STATUE OF LIVING FLESH for Christ’s Sake, and God ONLY knows How He just fucking Passed Us. So THAT’S a fucking Thing Now.” continued Dizzy Thoroughly Undeterred and Continuing His One Man Riot from the Rear of the Vehicle.

“You damn all know He’s Not going to Stop so You may as well at least go as Fast as You can Stand to right fucking Now and take it from there.” said Lee Knowingly.

“Look I don’t care if He kills Himself doing this ridiculous Juvenile bullshit, BUT I don’t want to fuck My Life up by going to Jail if He Does Die because I let Him do it.” stammered the Driver Uneasily as He could actually feel Himself slowly coming Undone as His Sanity Slipped further Away from Him.

           

The Smart Car arrived unceremoniously at the End of the Street where the Driver came to a gruelingly Cautious, and Complete Stop before turning Right onto a Main Street. The Driver’s Blinker hadn’t even have the time to Click Itself Off  at the Completion of the Turn before the Blaring Police Lights filled the Driver’s Rear View Mirrors like the World’s Shittiest Circus You ever Saw in Your Life. The Driver breathed a Sigh of Relief because though He may be in some Legal Trouble He would soon be Free of the Madman that had Personally taken a Huge Stinking Shit on HIs Afternoon, and His basically Useless Side Kick Friend.

The Driver complied with the Police Officer and Immediately pulled over to the side of the road, pt the Car in Park, and turned off the Engine. He then proceeded to get His Documents in Order diligently collecting His License, Registration, and Proof of Insurance Ready and a Waiting for the Inevitable Police Officer’s Initial request. Thats when supposedly the Police Officer opted to Use the PA System in His Patrol Car as He barked out Orders. First He ordered Dizzy to Left go of the Wiper, get off the Skateboard, and take a Seat on the Curb. Once Dizzy was Seated the Officer Instructed The Driver to Slowly Exit the Vehicle with His Hands where He could See them. Once the Driver was out He too was Ordered to Sit on the Curb as well. Finally The Officer commanded Lee to do the same as the Driver had done. Now with all three sitting on the curb like a Group of Dejected Gargoyles the Officer finally got out of the Patrol Car.

          

The Officer stood stoically by His Cruiser pausing for full fucking Effect before taking His time walking over to the Guys Sitting Silently on the Curb. Once He was in front of The Driver, Dizzy, and Lee He took a few Moments to Pace Deliberately back and Forth trying to convey Authority, and Keep everyone on Edge.

“So Gentlemen Which One of You would like to Fill ME in on what Exactly is Going on Here?!” asked the Officer in a Low and Steady tone of Voice Devoid of any Emotion Whatsoever.

“Well I can.” said The Ride Driver volunteering Himself.

“No He can’t the Guy in spite of looking like a Reject from the Cats of The Big Bang Theory He’s an Absolute Idiot, The Guy doesn’t know how to Live Life Apparently.” quipped Dizzy Sarcastically while Leering Creepily at the Driver.

“Alright Enough Drama You Queens, Everyone lets see some Identification.” instructed the Officer Robotically having asked this Question countless times before that it had become Second Nature.

            

The Officer collected the Identifications and then Lazily flipped through them like they were Baseball Cards and He was assessing the Personal Statistics of Each of Them. The Officer then asked for the Driver’s Proof of Insurance and Registration before returning to His Patrol Car. Dizzy shifted His weight from one ass check to the Other as His ass started to go Numb from sitting on the Cement Curb. Lee tried to remain as Still as fucking Human possible for the Fear of doing Something that freaked the Officer Out resulting in Lee getting Mistakenly Shot and Killed on the Spot. The Driver sat hunched Over staring at His feet looking as Sad and Pathetic as Eeyore from Winnie-The-Pooh Children’s Books.

“What is He Doing He’s been sitting in His Patrol Car for over 11 minutes Almost already.” wondered the Driver Out Loud since He had never been pulled over before, and wasn’t sure what the fuck to Expect.

“He’s trying to figure out if He wants to Fill out the shit ton of Paperwork in the Case He does take Us into Custody Versus Simply Killing us and Disposing of Our Bodies at Some random Rural Dump Site in the Middle of No Man’s Land America.” Speculated Dizzy Snidely Deliberately trying to Agitate the Already Distraught Driver.

           

Stay Tuned for the Next Absurdity Based Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (52/365)

Thanks for Reading,

 By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (49/365)

The Driver walked around the Smart Car with Purpose, opened the Door, leaned in, checked the Charge Level for the Battery, and then walked Smugly back over to Dizzy.

“The Car has a Healthy 70% Charge Currently so We should be Fine.” said The Driver being a Passive Aggressive little shit.

“YOU DIDN’T ASK WHERE THE FUCK WE ARE GOING ASSHOLE!” Screamed Dizzy Now Fully Enraged with His Face turning Such a Deep Shade of Crimson. The Veins in His Neck stuck out like the Steel Cables of a Suspension Bridge as Sweat Started to trickle down Dizzy’s Face and into HIs Eyes.

“Sir You told the Dispatcher when You called for the Ride. The Dispatcher then Radioed Me, and Told Me where I could pick You up at, as well as where Your Destination so I could Determine if I wanted to take the Calls o to speak.” said the Guy smirking Triumphantly in full on Gloat Mode.

“FINE! I Digress on the Issue of Battery Life in that Glorified Bumper Car with Wheels You’r sporting there Sport.” respond Dizzy Vindictively fancily wiping the growing amount of sweat out of His eyes.

       

“I do have a Question though.” Lee said Speaking Up for the First time during the Ongoing War of the Smart Car, but He knew He needed Dizzy to chill the fuck out for Christ’s sake.

If Dizzy didn’t Relax He was bound to fucking have a Massive Embolism, Fall on His face Dead right there on the fucking Sidewalk. Lee didn’t have any real set Plans other than bumming around with Dizzy for Shits and Giggles, Yet He was pretty fucking sure HE didn’t have time to do with a Medical Emergency that Ended Promptly in a Fatality.

“Yes Sir how may I Best Address Your Question?” asked The Driver politely as He had no issue with Lee who again had been standing quietly in the Background. It wasn’t Lee’s fault His buddy was a being Completely Batshit Crazy for No real reason other than He apparently seemed to find issue with every fucking thing He came across. Ok well thought the Driver to Himself it did Say a little Something about Lee which was He had shitty taste in Friends. Still Bad Taste wasn’t a Crime.

           

“Well We are 3 grown Adults, and Your Smart Car can only accommodate 2 Adults at Best. So wouldn’t that result in You having to Drive each one of US to Our destination One at a fucking Time? That and if You have to Drive Us Separately then that will Tax Your Battery Double fucking Time which would Require You to Stop and Recharge between Trips?!” Lee questioned doing HIs best Not to come off like a Dick.  He figured it was Safe to Assume at this point if The Driver had an Issue with Him Too He’d get bent and Bounce leaving the Two of Them Stranded with Their preverbal cocks in Their Hands.

“HOLY SHIT! I was so pissed that You had the absolute lack of common fucking sense since the Dispatcher called You with the Specifics of The Job! They had to have told You that You’d be picking up 2 Passengers right? Two Grown fucking Adults, Not a couple of Circus Midgets or a Pair of Quadruple Amputees?! NO THEY DIDN’T YOU GODDAMN DICK!” said Dizzy getting louder as He spoke apparently on the Verge of Launching The Second War of the Smart Car.

          

“The Dispatcher did inform Me that there would be 2 passengers that is True, but I figured You two could simply just sit on each others Laps I mean its not that long a Drive. According to My GPS it says the Crystal Diner is 17 minutes way.” respond The Driver cockily as if HE had just solved the World’s Most complex Brain Teaser.

“Sit on Each other’s Lap ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS YOU Snide Little Man Child Fuck, I’m Not paying My hard earned Cash to Ride around sitting on My Friends fucking Lap like a Little fucking Kid!” Snapped Dizzy Harshly nearly Hitting His Breaking Point.

“You could have Your Friend here sit on Your Lap if that Suits You Better Sir.” suggested the Driver jokingly trying to Lighten the Mood as Now He was getting nervous that Dizzy would simply Murder the Shit out of Him, Steal His Cash, and Drive off in His Smart Car regardless of His Loud Mouthed Bullshit Temper Tantrum on the Subject.

            

“DO YOU WANT TO DIE?! DO YOU? DO YOU WANT TO FUCKING DIE RIGHT HERE OUTSIDE THIS SHITTY OLD HOTEL/APPARTMENT BUILDING?! Obviously I’m not going to fucking Pay You to have My fucking Friend sit on MY LAP IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE Who sitting on Who COME THE FUCK ON!” seethed Dizzy through His teeth which were so Clenched they were beginning to Grind making a very Disturbing Sound like some object that has been pushed to it limit, and it was just a matter of Seconds before it Snapped Splintering into Fragments.

Stay Tuned For The Next Flabbergasting Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHERS

Thanks for Reading,

  By Les Sober