Carmen’s Banana Cooking Episode #41

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring CARMEN’S BANANA COOKING EPISODE #41. Carmen’s Banana Cooking Show  Aired on Austin Community  Television (Public Access) on Channel 10 on Fridays at 10pm from 1984 until 1992. Carmen would Cook Up Banana Dishes, Showcase Local Talent, and Go on Countless 80’s Austin Adventures. The Show’s Viewing Audience was Comprised of Actual Real Fans as well as Those Who were Fans of the Surreal Absurd fucking Freak Show Factor. The Show was Recently Rescued and Restored Carmen’s Banana Cooking is Streaming for Free On Youtube, and it has an Official Website. Also an Interesting Fact is Every Single Episode of Carmen’s Banana Cooking Show was Produced by Steven David Video.

The Host is a Ugly motherfucker in Wannabe Chiquita Banana Drag with Prosthetics (But remember They weren’t like the Prosthetics used in TV and Film Today. Take for Example Carmen’s Massive Quadruple DD Tits that were made from fucking Paper Mache for fucks sake), and the Finest fucking Dollar Store Wig Available. Carmen is Also Adorned with some Seriously fucking Tacky Banana Gimmick that looks like Some shit You’d buy for a fucking Halloween Costume. As for Carmen’s Make Up it Looks like a Piece of fucking Trailer Park Dwelling Piece of White Trash hooked up with a fucking Las Vegas Meth Addicted $2 Hooker and had a fucking Kid. Also We must fucking Warn You that at the Beginning Carmen Sings some Old Ass Love Song and Sings it HORRIBLY that it makes American Idol Rejects look Talented.

          

Episode Synopsis: First and Foremost the Show has Insanely Shitty Production Value and is EXTREMELY fucking Low Quality as it fucking gets. As We just Mentioned Above the Show Starts with Carmen Murdering the fuck Out of some Back in the Day Love Song. Then Carmen’s Big Sister Karma Stops by for some Utterly Unknown Reason. Karma then Dumps a Basket of what fucking else Bananas and Proceeds to Read Them like Some Sort of Shaman Mystic Medicine Man. Now it’s Not exactly Clear but it Seems that the Banana Basket Bullshit was to Confirm the Winner of the 1988 Election or at Least that’s what the Two Started Babbling About Almost Incoherently.

Our Favorite Line is when Carmen tells Her Sister as Her Sister is Leaving “We’ll Twist Up a few Banana Peels” Not too fucking Subtle Smoke Weed Much? FYI We Smoke Weed so We’re Not talking some Straight Edge Happy Horseshit. The Episode Ends by Transitioning from the Show’s Set to Some Asshole in Bed with Leopard Themed Pillows, Sheets, and Shit Wearing a Cheap Latex Mask (The Kind Used in the Human Doll Fetish). Now whoever the fuck it is or Supposed to be Doesn’t say a single fucking Word and Body Language is as if the Camera Man just Walked into Their Bedroom and Surprised Them so Their Acting all Shyly Taken Aback.

It is What it Is,

   Presented By Les Sober  

COOKING IDOL

Welcome to today’s post FYB post featuring the video by content creator know as Nana825763 COOKING IDOL. We featured another one of Nana825763’s videos titled USER NAME 666 which you can find located in the Strange and Disturbing Videos or in the Dark Web Videos (honestly it’s been so long since We did said post which category it’s in, but it’s in one of the two I assure you). It’s morbid masterpiece in the macabre the equivalent of Alice in Wonderland meets the Food network in the 9th circle of Hell.

                  

Now here is where it gets interesting there was some cryptic text (located later on in this post) accompanying the video that I couldn’t get out of my head. On a whim I decided to watch the video, but this time I switched on the closed caption. Once turned on the closed caption the ghostly audio translated into the following:

  • Ah. Yes. Static.
  • Hi.
  • Welcome to my cooking show
  • It’s good Food
  • Heals every losers plate
  • But keep in mind
  • I cook the tomatoes
  • Prepare them nice like this.
  • Do It.
  • Now.
  • Next step
  • Cook with Soy sauce
  • This is not optional
  • Enjoy

Now this reminds me of the band Tool’s song “Die Eier von Satan” off their album Enema. The song title actually means “the balls of satan” or “the eggs of Satan” in German, as “eier” can mean eggs or testicles. The song sounds like a Hitler Nazi rally speech circa World War two, the songs lyrics translate to a receipt for Marijuana cookies. A classic example things that aren’t what they appear to be at first sight or listen in this case.

                   

I then went back and watched the video for the umpteenth time, and compiled a list of the words displayed at the top of the screen during the video. This list is a good bit stranger and tad more grim than the audio translation. Here’s said list in chronological order:

  • Good food
  • Happy Happy Happy
  • I like red food
  • I cook the tomatoes
  • Lets
  • Cookingggggggggg
  • Please prepare the tomato
  • tomatoes is red
  • I cut the tomatoes into pieces with a knife
  • Please don’t cut your neck
  • Please burn bacon and rice cakes
  • Please listen to my song
  • Music
  • Start
  • I like rotten food!
  • Please put the tomatoes on rice cakes
  • Please rice cakes wrapped in bacon
  • Please insert a toothpick
  • Well did you?
  • Again please burn the sides
  • Please take the soy sauce at the end.

Now as Promised Text Accompanying Video:

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‹^àÇG ÇG ‹^à‹G‹W‹NàȉNê‹^êÇG ÇG
‹^êÇG ÇG ‹^êÇG$ ÇG& ðƒFê(¡6º ¹ èª* ðƒÒÿ¹ èª*‰Fø‰Vú¸€- ™‹6» ‰FÒ‰VÔ‹Á‹Ó¹ èz* ðƒÒÿ‹NÒ‹^ÔÁÓ‰Fð‰Vò‹Fð‹VòÿƒÒ ¹ è^*‰Fô‰Vö‹^ê‹Fø‹Vú‰G‰W
‹Fô‹Vö+FøVú‹^ê‰G‰W‹^êÇG$ ÇG& ЃFê(ÇFôb ÇFö ‹Fô‹VöþÿƒÒÿ‰Fø‰Vú‹^ê‹Fø‹Vú‰G‰W
‹Fô‹Vö+FøVú‹^ê‰G‰W‹^êÇG$ ÇG& ЃFê(¡6º ¹ èº)¹ èÀ)‹^ê‰G‰W
‹^êÇG ÇG ‹^êÇG$ ÇG& ЃFê(¹ ‹F‹V
è)‰Fø‰Vú‹F‹V
FVÿƒÒ ¹ èo)‰Fô‰Vö‹^ê‹Fø‹Vú‰G‰W
‹Fô‹Vö+FøVú‹^ê‰G‰W‹^êÇG$ ÇG& ЃFê(‹^êÇG0 ÇG
‹^êÇG ÇG

See you on the other side,

  Presented by Otto Control