Tag: craft beer

The Canned Meat & Alcohol Only Diet

A Friend of f-yourblog.com was kind enough to honor a previous request of Mine. The request was simply if your aimlessly surfing the Internet, and perhaps stumble upon some seriously weird shit please let me know. The Link the Reader forwarded me was to a Lithuanian website promoting one of the most bizarre Diets ever to be conceived.

It was called the Mesos Konserai ir Alkoholis Dieta which translates to The Canned Meat and Alcohol diet. Obviously the first part is a no brainer the dietary requirements where that you only eat canned meat. It does not restrict you to the type of canned meat it can be ANY and ALL canned meats  currently available to the public were fair game. You could only drink Alcohol while on the diet, and again it did not restrict your type of Alcohol. Any and ALL Alcohols again available to the public were fair game. There is no timeline or duration for this diet as it seems to be more of an endurance contest than it is a legitimate diet.

I decided to try it and in the name of Sociology. Not only would I try it but I’d document it through pictures of what I ate/drank each day 4 times a day for 26 days strait.

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After 26 days on the Canned Meat and Alcohol Diet I lost 31 pounds due to the fact I vomited almost half or all of what I ate 30 minutes after eating. Also I have never shit nearly as much as I did on this diet it was like a diarrhea Niagara fucking Falls pouring relentlessly out of my ass. Another side effect was all the alcohol totally disrupted my sleep schedule and after 10 days sleep deprivation became a very real issue. Last but not least again due to the excessive alcohol intake am now border line diabetic.

People ask was it worth it?

Honestly I don’t have a goddamn clue if it was.

Would You do it again?

In a word Yes. Life is a web of interlinked experiences, and this one was one for the history books.

Do You regret trying this diet?

No Not at All, I have NO regrets.

What about the Negative effects on your general health?

Everything has fucking side effects, go read the warning on the side of a bottle of Aspirin.

Thanks For The Read as Always,

Les Sober

Peddling Death Door To Door

I was sitting in my apartment one summer afternoon enjoying a craft beer or two when the door bell suddenly rang. Now I’m the type of person who knows who and when people are coming ,but no one was supposed to stop by on that particular day. I weighed the options and decided to for once to answer the door instead of ignoring it due to the fact I didn’t know who was ringing my door bell (and I utterly hate to be bothered)

So I exited my apartment on the 2nd floor, walked down the stair case to the 1st story exterior door and opened away. To my surprise it wasn’t any asshole asking if I found Jesus/accept christ or little kids going door to door selling candy as part of a school fundraiser. It was in fact a little old lady about 60-65 years old, hair white as snow with a cliche grandmother vibe. I said hello and asked what I could do for her today to which she replied she worked for a local funeral home with a neighboring cemetery. So she was going door to door talking with (and hopefully selling funeral home services) people about their or a loved one’s final preparations. More ironic then sending a senior citizen representative to sell funeral services (coffins,flowers,earns,cremation etc.) but I had amassed a short list of 3 personal questions on the matter of post death options for myself when I too  die. I invited the little old lady in and took her up to my apartment where she set up shop so to speak in my living room. I informed her that yes I did have some questions about said funeral services and she very politely told me to ask her what they were.

In the time of efficiency and time management here (in no certain order) are the 3 questions I asked her alone with her answers.

  1. Can I have my skeleton bronzed and placed in a certain pose?

No due to laws pertaining to the desecration of a corpse where there ABSOLUTELY NO acceptations.

2. If I chose to be cremated could I have my skull bronzed and placed on top of the earn’s led?

No something similar too the answer for question 1 ,but dealing moreover  with the issue of handling dead bodies or some shit.

NOW THIS IS WHERE SHIT GETS DARK FAST AND MAKES NO SENSE: I SWEAR TO THE STARS ABOVE HOW THE FUCK THIS OTION IS POSSIBLE (CONSIDERING THE ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS 1 AND ) AND MOREOVER HOW THE FUCK ITS LEGAL AS THERE LAWS OUTLAWING CANNIBALISM.

3. Can I have my corpse (and possibly certain organs i.e. liver) cooked and served to the funeral party quests?

Yes if you can find someone willing to butcher and cook a corpse.

( There has to be some bizarre loophole because I can’t get my head around the yes to Necro Cannibalism.)

Ladies and Gentleman thank you, that is all.