Tag: Croatia

Satan Panonski: The Man, The Myth, The Music

Welcome to FYB’s Friday Post Satan Panonski: The, Man, The Myth, The Music which is PART TWO of Yesterdays Satan Panonski: Croatia’s GG Allin. In Yesterday’s Post We covered Satan Panonski on a Biographical Level and Today We’re covering Satan Panonski’s Discography. I did My Best to Provide the Best Audio Sample Platter of Panonski’s Musical Menu if You Will.

Noteworthy Mentions:

  • SATANPANONSKI-Duro 6.6.1989 Part 3 and Part 4 are Both Footage of Live Performances.
  • Hard Blood Shock is in English
  • Ljuljamo ljbljeni ljubicasti lijuli is The Entire Ablum.
  • ja sam stoma tati AND Che Guevara are Spoken Word Pieces.
  • Misli Li stok is Recorded Live at a Satan Panonski Show.
  • SATAN PANONSKI Usijek Stuc 1990 is the Slideshow and Audio Recording of a Satan Panonski Live Show .
  • SATAN PANONSKI BEOGRAD AKADEMIJA 1991 is a Live Show.
  • Kiss My Cock is in Yugoslavian/Croatian ACCEPT for the Phrase “Kiss My Cock”.

NOTE: The Live Shows are Copied from Old (Primitive) VHS Tapes that were Traded Underground and Pasted From Fan to Fan so there is No Subtitle Options.

Enjoy.

 

 

Thanks For Watching/Listening,

   Presented By Les Sober  

Satan Panonski Croatia’s GG Allin

Welcome to a Thursday  FYB Post which may be somewhat of a Surprise. I was tooling around Looking for a Music/Musician Piece since it Occurred to ME that We hadn’t Done One in Quite a While. I wasn’t having a Whole Hell of a lot of Luck until I noticed an Article Titled Satan Panonski: The Croatian GG Allin and was Instantly Intrigued. It’s No Secret at this juncture that We here at FYB are Diehard Fans of GG Allin so Obviously the Comparison mad Me sit Up and Take Notice. I spent the Next 48 Hours Scouring the Internet for Any and All Information on Satan Panonski the so called Croatian GG Allin. Now if Finding Information on a Notorious Underground Niche Musician like GG Allin was a Pain in the Ass it made Finding Info on His Croatian Counterpart Satan Panonski almost fucking Impossible. The Main reason for the Serious Lack of Information on Satan Panonski was Even MORE OBSCURE since the Limited Documentation. This was due to Satan Panonski’s EXTREMELY LIMITED Exposure Outside of His Native Croatia, and Small Parts of South Eastern Europe.

                    

This Post was Originally Intended to Showcase the 1990 33 Minute Documentary Film by Serbian Director Milorad Milinkovic (which served as His Graduate Thesis for Film School) on Satan Panonski. The Problem with the Documentary while it is as Interesting as it is Entertaining it was Shot Over an 8 Hour Period. This explains the short Runtime of the Documentary, but it also Explains Why its Far from a Traditional Style Documentary. The Documentary Doesn’t have any Biographical Backstory Information, Musical Career Information (prior to the Filming of said Documentary), and it Didn’t Cover Satan Panonski’s Unusual and Untimely Death.

With so Many Holes if Missing or Lacking Proper Information I set Out to find Out More than just this One article Alone. It was Laborious but Rewarding and I’m Very Glad I did. Thus with all that Said I Tracked Down the Information on Satan Panonski that’s Not Included in the Documentary as Additional Information. No Worries for Anyone Wondering the Documentary  is Included at the End of this Post. So Now I give You the Story of Satan Panonski the Croatian GG Allin!

                   

“A Punk By Nationality A Friend By Profession.” – Satan Panonski 

Born Ivica Culjak in 1960 in Cerici which is a Village close to Vinkovci Croatia although it was know as Yugoslavia during Virtually all of Culjak’s Life.  In the Early 1970’s CulCuljak dropped out of High School and Entered into the Punk Scene where He Garnered a Notorious Reputation for His Crude Music, Violent and Disturbing Live Performances, and Brutally Uncompromising Lyrics. Panonski’s Infamous Live Performance Antics Included, but Not Limited To Breaking Beer Bottles Over His Head, Self Mutilating using a Razor Blade of Piece of Broken Glass, Sticking Safety Pins through His Flesh, and Preforming Dangerous Stunts.

Towards the 1970’s Panonski sought out Psychiatric Help, but this was Allegedly Panonski’s Scheme to Avoid serving Mandatory Military Service in the Yugoslavian Army (Which was at the Time Required). It was during the Same Time Period that Panonski Started to Preform Under the Stage Name Kecer II. In 1979 Panonski became the Singer and Frontman for the Band Pogreb X which Translates to Funeral X. Panonski Claimed throughout His Brief Career that He wanted to “Shock the Audience” and Elaborated by Saying the Following in a 1991 Interview with the Croatian Magazine Globus. “I Shock People to Free Them. When I Shock Them with My Gaze, I know They’ll listen to Me, Then it’s Hypnosis, Madness…..In These Moments, I set Them Free, I Liberate Them from the Barricades that have been Built through Education.” For the Prolific Violence that Panonski Inflicted on Himself wasn’t to Fight or Lash Out Angrily at the Establishment, but as a Product of Culjak’s “Inability to Change Things for the Better” as He said Openly. Unlike GG Allin Panonski Didn’t Hate Life, Loath His Fans, Abuse His Audience, Desire to Destroy Anything, Rage Against Society, Shit on Stage, Bring the Fear Back to Rock’n Roll, or Hate Himself.

                   

In Spite of His Reputation for being Outrageous Panonski had Yet to Reach the turning Point from Musician to Murder. In 1981 Panonski’s Band was Preforming in Vincoshee when a Fight Broke Out. It’s one of those Events where No One Truly knows the Series of Events and the Story variates depending on Who is Telling it. The Most Widely Accepted Explanation is the Fight Broke Out when a Local Low Level Criminal Thug and Degenerate Gambler took issue with Panonski’s Older Brother. Once the Fight Started Panonski intervened to Stand Up and Protect His Brother from this Unsavory Character. Panonski managed to deescalate the Fight/Argument telling the Man that Fighting was Pointless, and They should talk it Out Face to Face Man to Man. The Thug Agreed and He along with Panonski took a seat at a near by Table where the Thug Ordered Them a Couple of Beers.

At one Point Panonski saw something in His Peripheral Vision and Turned His head to see what the fuck it was. Once He turned back to Face the Thug the Thug hauled off and Punched Panonski in the Nose like a Motherfucker Temporarily Stunning Panonski. After a Moment or Two Culjak recovered from the Blow, and Immediately Attacked the Thug in Retaliation for the Sucker Punch. During Their Scuffle Panonski grabbed Hold of a Knife and Stabbed the Thug to Death right There in the Club.

                    

Panonski stood Trial for Murder and Assault (The Assault Charge stemmed from the Fact Panonski had Accidentally Struck an Innocent Bystander during the May-lay). Panonski was Convicted on Both Counts and was Set to Serve Out His 12 Year Sentence in Prison when by Some Unseen Divine Intervention Negotiated that He Shouldn’t be Sent To Prison, But Remanded to a Mental Hospital Instead. The Ploy worked more than likely to the Combination of Panonski’s Claim it was Self Defense coupled with the Fact He sought Psychiatric Help in the 1970’s (even if it was a ruse to get Out of Mandatory Military Service. While Serving out His Sentence in the Metal Hospital Panonski spent His Time Writing Poetry, Making Music, Painting, and Drawing, AND He was even Permitted to Temporarily Leave the Hospital to Play with His Band (or a Live Performance or Press though there wasn’t much of that).

Panonski Adopted the Stage Name Satan Panonski around 1984 for His Solo Work. Panonski continued to Garner a Cult Following as Reputation Grew. Panonski’s Outlandish Live Performances, Unique Production Style, Manner of Dress, and Even His Sexuality (Many People Close to Panonski claimed He was Openly Gay or at Least Sexually Fluid. While this isn’t a Big Deal Today, But the Time Period Panonski Lived in 1960’s-Early 1990’s it definitely was). Less Then Two Years after the Filming of the Documentary Panonski Died under Quite Mysterious Circumstances.

                    

In January 1991 while Serving in the Croatian Military during Croatia’s War for Independence Panonski had Voluntarily Enlisted in the Military  (Due to His Intense National Pride). Panonski was found Wearing His Military Uniform with a Single Gunshot Wound to His Head. Panonski was just 32 at the Time of His Death. Since the Exact Circumstances Surrounding Panonski’s Untimely Demise there have been Several Theories on the Subject in Circulation. The First Theory is Panonski Committed Suicide due to the Fact He had Sought Psychiatric Help in the 1970’s, Panonski had been Sentenced to 12 Years in a Mental Hospital, and His Unconventional Life Style as a Manic Musician/Poet/Artist/Writer. The Second Theory is Panonski crossed paths with an Enemy Soldier who then Shot and Killed Panonski which seems Viable as Hell since He was Serving in the Military during the Croatian War for Independence. The Most Common Theory (and seemingly Most Popular) is Panonski simply Accidentally Shot Himself which happens Far More than The Average Person is Aware of. All That Remains of Panonski’s Life and Art are Three Albums, Collection of Poetry, A Mysterious Death, and The Myth of Satan Panonski.

The Three Satan Panonski Albums :

  1. Ljuljajmo ljubljeni ijubicast (1989)
  2. Neklearne Olimpijske Igre (1990)
  3. Kako Je Panker Branie Hrvatsku (1992)

Documentary Synopsis:

SATAN PANONSKI: DOKUMENTARAC is a 1990 Serbian Student Film Directed by Milorad Milinkovic featuring the Best Footage of Panonski’s “Hard Blood Shock” Body Art Performance, a Mixture of Self-Mutilation, Chaotic Punk Rock, and Spoken Word. Also Captured in the Documentary is a Radio Interview (Recorded at 1 am After Panonski’s Performance Earlier that Evening) where Panonski Outlines His Dreams of Creating a Communal “Rock n’ Roll State”, and His Return to the Mental Asylum where He spent the Better Part of the 1980s for Murder.

Self-Identifying as “Punk by Nationality, Friend by Profession” We see His full Tragic Range of Emotions that lead to Comparisons with both Marina Abramovic and GG Allin. If Panonski was Yugoslavia’s/Croatia’s Equivalent to America’s GG, then this is Their HATED (The Infamous GG Allin Documentary by then Film Student Todd Phillips). Like His Albums and the Myths of Panonski’s Life and Death, it has up Until now Only Circulated Underground on VHS Tapes traded at Flea Markets across Eastern Europe, and has likely Never Before been Screened in America.

                   

Documentary Content Rundown:

Part 1 : May 28, 1990 11pm-12am at the Students Cultural Centre

This is Footage From Panonski’s “Hard Blood Shock” Live Performance that includes Poetry, Spoken Word, Panonski Breaking a Beer Bottle Over His Head, Flailing Wildly on the Ground, Sticking Safety Pins into His Bicep, and Some of Panonski’s Songs (along with a Strange Audio Recordings of Panonski Yelling/Screaming/Screeching/Moaning) as a Backdrop to Parts of the Performance. Part One Concludes with Panonski Cleaning Himself Up and Tending to His Wounds in the Venue’s Restroom. During this Scene You can see the Extensive Scarring on Panonski’s Head, Chest, and Arms that’s reminiscent of a Hardcore Deathmatch Wrestling Veteran.

                 

Part 2: May 29, 1990 1am-3am Panonski Does a Post Show Interview for a Local Radio Station. Again this isn’t a Traditional Interview as Panonski spends His Time there Fielding Phone Calls while the DJ acts as a Hype Man. Some of the More Interesting Aspects of Panonski’s so called Interview was the Fact a Couple of Caller did in fact Refer to Him as (The) Wrestler. There were Several Callers be They Fans or Curious Parties asking the Question (Pertaining to Panonski’s 1981 Murder Conviction) if He was in Prison or a Mental Hospital. For the Majority of the Phone Calls were Well Wishers hoping Panonski can Resolve His Mental Health Issues. NOW THE MOST INTERESTING PART of Panonski’s Radio Visit was When the Director was being Antagonistic and Baiting the Haters between Callers. While He is Ranting and Raving He Says “Yes, You, Who Promised Us a Bullet in the Head…” This is Note Worthy considering Panonski Died Mysteriously of a Gun Shot to the Head. Could Panonski have ACTUALLY BEEN KILLED by one of His Detractors?

                    

Part 3: May 29, 1990 4am-5am at a Private Residence

This Ironically is a Real more In-depth Interview where Panonski looking/acting Relaxed for the First Time in the Documentary. Panonski delves into His Unorthodox Personality, Way of Thinking, Artistic Works, His Personal Beliefs, and Yes The Murder as Well.

                     

Part 4: May 29, 1990 3pm-??? Hospital Popovaca

There is No Dialogue outside of Recordings of Panonski’s Poetry and Spoken Word that Accompanies the Scene of Panonski Walking to a Train Station. The Film then Cuts from the Train to the Hospital as the Camera makes Their way Around the Halls until They Reach Panonski’s Hospital Room. The Camera Cuts to Panonski who is Now Lounging Calmly in His Room on His Bed. The Camera moves from Panonski to the Window in His Room, and Does a Close Up of Sorts Out the Window and Ends There.

Enjoy. (Note: The Film is in Croatian with English Subtitles.)

Thanks For Reading/Watching,

   Presented By Les Sober  

No One Care What The Hell You Had For Lunch.

Social Media has been a crucial tool since its creation that has Contributed to the Ever Growing Societies’s  Egotistical Idiocy. Tech has/had unlimited potential, But People became Addicted to Social Media and its False Sense of Importance. People actually think ANYONE gives a flying fuck what They had for Lunch?! Yet People Post Pictures of Their Lunch likes its the most Awe Inspiring Event of Their fucking Lives.

The One Aspect in the Social Media’s Dumbing Down of America that’s Never Mentioned is the Personal “Status Updates” that People love to Use like there’s No Tomorrow (Facebook being the Number one Offender). You know what I’m talking about it’s those Pre Written Idle Bullshit like “Linda is Loving Life”, “Matt is at Starbucks”, or “Phil changed His Relationship Status to It’s Complicated.” that Users have come to Rely on.

              

Again Who fucking Cares How You Feel every Minute of the Goddamn Day?! You’re Not Nearly That Special. That’s the trick of Social Media it makes You feel far more Important than You actually Ever will be in all likelihood.

It’s the Utter Distain and Unfathomable Contempt for such Social Media Drivel is the Reason I have created a New (More Honest and Way More Realistic) List Status Updates. Enjoy.

  • Barry is Currently having Wild Sex with a Goat.
  • Louis is Busy Cooking Meth
  • Chuck is watching Hardcore German Porn.
  • Dave has Explosive Diarrhea.
  • Warren is Donating Sperm Again.
  • Linda is Hungover as Hell and Projectile Vomiting.
  • Francis is Window Shopping on Amazon like an Asshole.
  • Quinn is Writing Erotic Stories about a Nun and an Alter Boy.
  • Rex is considering a Career as a Urologist.
  • Aron is a Closet Nazi.

              

  • Gill is Bidding on an Antique Chastity Belt on eBay.
  • Luke is Ordering a Mail Order Bride from Croatia.
  • Marry is Doomsday Prepping for the Apocalypse.
  • Richard is Googling How to Preform an At Home Prostate Exam.
  • Will is Surfing the Dark Web for a Hitman.
  • Jerry is Busy Manscaping.
  • Blair is having a Heavy Flow Day.
  • Arnold Believes Pimping Ain’t Easy.
  • Kelly just woke up in a Pool of Her Own Vomit.
  • Zelda is Wondering Why Animal Assholes and the Opening is Soda Lids look the Same.

              

  • Brittany just tried Anal Sex for the First Time.
  • Valerie is Waxing Everything.
  • Billy is Ordering Asian Sex Toys Online.
  • Beth is Considering getting into Porn.
  • Shelby is Eating a Shit Sandwich.
  • Florence is working on Her New Fuzzy Costume for The Furry Ball.
  • Steve is Tripping Balls on Some Insane Blotter Acid.
  • Francine is Getting Furiously Finger Fucked.
  • Larry is imagining what it’s like to Titty Fuck Bob’s Man Boobs.
  • Rick just made an Appointment to get His Taint Tattooed.=

              

  • Carl can’t Handle is Booze.
  • Scott Tried Smoking Crack and Loved it.
  • Alice took a Massive Shit and is Looking at it Now.
  • Nick is Writing Shit on a Bathroom Wall.
  • Gill is refilling His Prescription for Viagra at The Pharmacy.
  • Travis is making All Natural Hand Made Tampons for His Wife.
  • Racheal is Learning How to Taxidermy and Practicing on Roadkill.
  • Sam is practicing making Balloon Animals Using His Dick.
  • Zander Enjoys Hot Sauce Enemas.
  • Albert is a Colonicholic.

              

  • Alice is starting a Flea Circus due to a Vaudeville Fetish.
  • Blair Farted and it smells like She Needs a Proctologist.
  • Stan just Shit Himself standing in Line at a Fast Food Restaurant.
  • Ralph is Thinking of Purchasing a High End Sex Doll for Christmas.
  • Stella is Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor behind WaWa.
  • Freddy is Attending a Family Reunion Where He’s the Creepy Uncle.
  • Stacy still Wets the Bed Weekly.
  • Benny was Banging an Inflatable Sex Doll and it Exploded Blowing off Both His Balls.
  • Nina is becoming Sexually Aroused watching Animals have Sex in a Nature Documentary.
  • Walt is Listening to Anal Cunt’s Greatest Hits.

              

  • Trent is Reading the Current Copy of Guns & Ammo at His Grandmother’s Funeral
  • Tiffany is Coated Head to Toe in KY Jelly.
  • Robbie is Wondering if Sex with a 3rd Cousin Removed Constitutes Incest.
  • Ken is Hiring a Prostitute.
  • Karen is Scoring Drugs Right Now in a Shitty Neighborhood.
  • Eddie is on Psychedelics and Hiding from a Plate of French Fries.
  • Bart just lost a Staring Contest with a Bowl of Oatmeal.
  • Dominic is Sucking off the Band Hanson Backstage.
  • Annie is Considering getting into Fisting.
  • Paula is having Sex in a Coffin to see if Necrophilia is for Her.

              

  • Vivian is Popping Pain Killers and Downing Them with Whiskey.
  • Holly is Polishing Her Nipple Clamp Collection.
  • Herbert is a German Cannibal.
  • Taylor is paying for Collage with the Money He made in Porn as a Stunt Cock.
  • Ryan is Measuring His Dick.
  • Stewart is trying to Figure Out if occasionally peeking at Another Man’s Pecker at the Urinal makes Him Gay.
  • Tiffany is Bleaching Her Asshole because She’s about to get Back into the Dating World.
  • Gary is Cat fishing His Sister.
  • Olga Thinks Hand Jobs are Outdated.
  • Jillian has a Habit of Humping the Homeless.

           

  • Bart got His Dick Stuck in a Swedish Penis Pump.
  • Becky thinks Lindsey Her Best Friend is kinda of a Cunt.
  • Eloise is on the Way to the Emergency Room with a Ruptured Breast Implant.
  • Diana has a Surgically Reconstructed Asshole.
  • Ari is getting Botox Treatments for His Scrotum Wrinkles.
  • Peter is walking His Dog and Watching as it Takes a Shit.
  • Deloris just crapped so Hard She Prolapsed Her Asshole.
  • Sue is Sniffing Glue getting a White Trash High.
  • Dale is making Wind Chimes out of Natty Ice Cans to Sell in the Local Trailer Parks.
  • Gabby Ate Her Inner Child.

                

  • Henry is Growing Shitty Ditch Weed in His Attic.
  • Donovan is in Reddit Chats while Wearing His Grandmother’s Underwear.
  • Jake shot a Man just to Watch Him Die, But Got Distracted and Missed it.
  • Reese got His Dick Stuck in a Chinese Finger Trap He won at the County Fair.
  • Lucy is in Love with an Alcoholic Carnie that reminds Her of Her Dad.
  • Reggie is walking around is House looking for Things He can Use to Improvise a Cock Ring.
  • Selma had Her Stomach Pumped just for the Experience.
  • Trina is Reading About Historic Safe Sex Methods/Practices.
  • Brittany is having Her 17th Abortion.
  • Oliver May Have Been Abducted by Aliens and Extensively Anal Probed.

              

Thanks For Reading,

  By Les Sober

(Posted @ 1:37am)

Try Scamming Me & I’ll Royally Fuck Up Your Day PT. 2: Counterstrike

 

I left off explaining in the last post that some Absurd Asshole(s) had contacted via text about trouble processing my Health Insurance Payment that was a BLATANT SCAM. In stead of flipping out and going batshit crazy with rage/revenge I would try a different plan. Here is what I did.

I did some Bong Rips and began to think about a plan. Now not only did I want to piss the Scam Artist off as much as they had me I also wanted it to be fun to do. I ended up coming around full circle by selecting Text Messaging as my form of communication versus Cell Phone Call. If I had chose to call the number included in the Text I know what the fuck would have happened.

I would have simply lost my shit and started cursing out the guy on the other end of the phone. The swearing then would be followed by a slew of insults and then violent threats of bodily harm. I seem to have inherited my Father’s intense source of Anger. My motto in situations like this is if you try and fuck with me or fuck me over I will return the favor 100 fold, BUT I digress.

Then I concocted a phony Movie Company Called Von Dire Films. Now Von Dire I thought should be a scummy, underground, indie, sleazy, offensive, and troubling films with titles like “Corpse Farm: A Return to Flesh” or some weird shit like that. I then came to the conclusion that Von Dire Films was a Self Promotional Merchandise Super Sluts who TEX BOMB the Hell out of random people hoping to secure some new fans/customers.

Here are some examples of the Von Dire Film Solicitation Texts:

Text 1.

You have reached Von Dire Movie Production Company. Unfortunately We are having budgetary issues while shooting our new Movie in Borneo called “Skull Fucking Your Bloody Skull”. We will be out of the Country for Filming for the next 8 weeks. Please leave any and all contact information pertaining to the specified project at Our Dark Web Website VonDiresFuckedUpFilm.Org

So to Our Fans We say “Fuck Off We’re Filming” & “Adios Assholes” so Thank You for Your interest in Von Dire International Snuff Film Productions LLC.

Text 2.

Von Dire Banned Films That with Mindfuck you like a Lobotomy!!!

WWW.VDBF.ORG

SUPER SICK SALE ALL WEEK LONG!!!!!!!!

Text 3.

Von Dire Film “Cannibalistic Coitus” Nominated for the Underground Picture of the Year at Cannes!!! Now Only $29.99!!!

See Our Website on the Dark Web for further details!!!

STAY SICK CITIZENS!!!!!!

TEXT 4.

VON DIRE IS BACK! in the Celluloid Slaughter Business with his new demented movie “Meat Hook Justice” Coming to American Theaters Feb. 14th 2018! ADVANCE TICKETS Sales Available Through Our Dark Web Website. SO SIGN IN, SHOP, AND STAY SICK!

Text 5.

Von Dire’s Ferral Film Festival set for Bucharest Sept. 18th 2018!!!

Gorepon Group Packages Available on our DARKEST WEBSITE!

HURRY BEFORE THEY SELL OUT!!!!!

GOREPONS START AT 12,000 BitCoin (Purchaser must have a Valid

PayPal account at time of Purchase)

Text 6.

Gorepon the Groupon of Grizzly Gore has current Tour Packages of

Killing Christ’s Kingdom Studios

VERY LIMITED TIME ON ONLY!!! DON’T THINK BUY. BUY.BUY.

TEXT 7.

VON DIRE Sinful Spoken Wicked Word Tour COMING SOON!!

Check Out Our Deepest Dark WebSite for Upcoming Information!!!

Have Your check books ready!!!!

Text 8.

Von Dire Biography 4 Sale!!! “Bloody Genital Mutilation: My Life Growing Up in Antartica” ON SALE! LIMITED NUMBER PRINTED!

ORDER NOW,NOW,NOW!!! (Sale Price 165 Euros) !!!

All We need is Your Social Security Card Number for verification of Purchase!

Text 9.

Von Dire Films Presents Bloody Sod Bollock’s

“Shoot My Face Off I Like It” Disturbing Documentary of Damnation

For Sale For LOW, LOW PRICE of 900 Yen!!!

All We Need is Your Debit Card Number and Pin Number!!!

Text 10.

Von Dire’s New Gothic Novel

“The Insurance Sucubus Slayer: Cannibalize The Conman”

Available now on BrutalBooks.Net for $49.99

All We Need is the Routing Number from a Personal Check!!!

Text 11.

Von Dire is Von Damit in “Demonic Dolphin Rape Cave 2”

Streaming on FuktFilms.Net for just the low price of $4.99 for

the 1st Minute and $2.99 each Additional Minute!!!!!

Text 12. “Lust and Lobotomies: The Jeffery Dalhmer Story” by Von Dire

Inspired by Real Life Insanity!!

Torn from the Headlines of Horror!!!!

On Sale Now For Just 17 Easy Payments of $59.99!!!!

Text 12.

Von Dire’s work will Haunt you!!!!

Check Out at Goddamn VOnDire.Org!!!

Text. 13

Von Dire Fan Club Enrolling NOW!!!

Von Dire’s Fan Club The Bloody Bastards has LIMITED OPENINGS!!!

Rare chance to become an actual Fan Club Member just Sign Up For

12 Months for $6,499.99!!!

9 Months for $4,995.99!!!

6 Months for $3,499.99!!!

3 Months for $1,499.99!!!

1 Month for just a mere $999.99

All You need to do is just send ALL Your Personal Banking Information to Us Via Our Deep Dark Dark Website!!

Text 13.

“Suck My Ass It Smells” the Von Dire GG Allin Punkumentary Slated for Release in FALL 2019!!! ADVANCE TICKETS FOR SALE!!!! BUY NOW!!!!!

Text 14.

It has come to Our attention that you haven’t purchased anything in QUITE A WHILE!

Please contact Us IMMEDIATELY with Your Credit Card Information Ready!!!

VON DIRE FILMS LLC “The Sickest Shit on Celluloid!!!”

LOG IN NOW! NOW! NOW! BUY! BUY! BUY! TODAY! TODAY! TODAY!!

Text 15.

WHY haven’t YOU visited Our Deep Website VonDire.Org Website??????

Please Stop and SHOP! SHOP! SHOP!

Deals! Sales! Discounts!! DOUBLE Fan Club Member Points!!!!!

Text 16.

It has come to the attention of Our Billing Department that You have an Outstanding OVER DUE Payment Pending for $749,999.99.

Contact Us IMMEDIATELY to Address this URGENT MATTER to Avoid Further Fines/Penalties before its TOO LATE!!

If You FAIL to contact us within 24 hours We will turn Your Current Past Due Amount over to The United States Federal Debt Collection Agency.

It be in Your Best Interest to CALL US TODAY and PAY Without Thinking or Questioning it. You can also Log Onto Our Darkest Website and SPEND the Equivalent on Merchandise.

Text 17.

You’ve been CAUGHT by MasterLock Security Monitoring Systems on Illegal    Von Dire DarkWeb Movie sites.

These Sites contained depictions of Extreme Fetishes, Donkey Shows, Eating Feces, Platypus Rape, S&M&B&D&GT, Pygmy Gangbangs, Live Sex Acts preformed by Sea Monkeys, Defamation of the Dead, Necrophilia, HillBilly Incest, Cattle Decapitation, Sex with Star Fishes, Genital Mutilation, Uniques, Rectal Insertion of Foreign Objects, Triple Fisting, Nipple Clamp Carnage, Group Masturbation, Coffin Coitus, Blood Lust Orgies, Vaginal Vomiting, Testicular Torture, Midgets Running a Train on a WNBA Center, Amputee Stump Humping, Skull Fucking, Ejaculating Blood, Among Other Offenses.

If You Do Not PAY the Fine of $15,499.99 to Us in Target Gift Cards OR Cigarettes WE WILL REPORT YOU TO THE NSA IMMEDIATELY POST HASTE!

Text 18.

Cunt-Fart & The Rotten Peckers have just signed a contract to record the entire Soundtrack for Von Dire’s Short Student Art Film

“Sadistic Sex Slug Sodomy”

Release due February 1st at MIDNIGHT through Our Super Sick Website!!!

Members get unlimited listening!!!

So Send Us a Photocopy of Your Driver’s License and a Blank Persona Check or Debit Card!!!!

ONLY $975.99 While Supplies Last BUY NOW WITHOUT DELAY!!!!!!

Shitting and Fondling Included for an Additional Fee of $64.99!!!

Text 19.

Visit VONDIREMERCH.ORG(Y).NET NOW!!!!HURRY!!! GO!!!!

Discount Sale Starts This Friday at Midnight on Our Sick As Shit Website TODAY!!!

BE THERE YOU BASTARDS & BITCHES!!!!!

Text 20.

Authentic Bulgarian Bahhbahchoubpa  Available TODAY!!!!

Grown EXCLUSIVELY at Von Dire Feral Farms in the Sunless Lithuanian Country Side!!

JUST A MEASLY $49.99 a Bushel!!!!! LOGON TO OUR Sinful Website for Purchasing Information TODAY!!!!!

Text 21.

Von Dire Office Yard Sale is going on this Weekend!!!!

This is YOUR rare and utterly exclusive chance as a Fucked Up Fan Club Member to PURCHASE SPECIAL MERCHANDISE ITEMS SUCH AS:

A Mason Jar of Von Dire’s Shaved Pubes, VD’s PERSONAL ANTIQUE Genital Torture Kit, VD’s diseased and stuffed Pet Electric Eel, VD’s office Urinal, The German Industrial Nipple Clamps from VD’s Outfit he wore to the Vomitous Awards in 1993, AND SOOOOO MUCH MORE!!!! LOG ON NOW LEMMINGS!!!

Text 22.

Von Dire’s Scummy Spoken Word Collection “Decade of Debauchery” consists of the 1979-1991 Spoken Word Tours of  Guam. ONLY $99.99! LOG ON AND BUY NOW and BUY A COPY FOR A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER NOW!!

Text 23.

Von Dire’s Lost Movie has just been Found!!!!

“Cockring Carnival of Karnal Cock Carnage 1888”

One of Von Dire’s 1st Films found misplaced in the Lost Soul Studios’s Film Vault!!!! ONLY $179.99!

EXTREMELY LIMITED TIME ONLY!!! This is a one time 36 Hour Special Secret Sale!!! Buy Several Copies NOW!!!

Text 24.

Von Dire POP UP RESTAURANT The VD Clinic IS HERE Tonight!!!

Just a small fee of $299.99 Per Person and $499.99 Per Plate!!!!

Dinner Includes:

Specialty Corrosive Cocktails, 17 Course Dinner (with the Main Course Being Bison imported from the Croatia), Damnable Dessert,  and Sinister Cigars served with 110 year old cognac from Turkey.

PLUS A SPECIAL SHOWING OF VD Video Productions Catalog BUT HURRY SALE ENDS IN 76 Minutes!!

Text 25.

BREAKING NEWS!!! THIS JUST IN!!!!

Von Dire Dick Pics Leaked on

HollywoodHardons.com!!!!!!

NOTE TO READER: The texts above were sent starting Monday 6:15 am and Wednesday 11:39am. That would have been the end of it, BUT on Wednesday at 2:47 pm The Absurd Assholes sent me yet ANOTHER TEXT. The text was the same deplete piece of shit cheap ass scam bullshit as the last previous 3. Thusly at 7:48 Wednesday I returned to my antagonistic ways.

Text 1.

“Throbbing Taints and the Shitty Assholes” a Film By the Legendary Deplorable Director VON DIRE is a Political Commentary Documentary on the current sate of political affairs throughout this Evil Earth. Von Dire has already announced He will be filming the sequel “TrumpFucker: A Legacy of Failure” solely focusing on Donald Trump.

ADVANCE COPIES AVAILABLE FOR 210 BITCOINS!! CHECK OUT OUR SICKLY WEBSITE!! SOONER THE BETTER, BUY NOW!!

TEXT 2.

“Crippled Faith” is a collection of Gothic Poems about Death and Desire by none other than VON DIRE’S Little Bastard Brother VAN DIRE!! The book was released by Putrid Publishing which is his Older Brother VON DIRE’s Publishing House known mostly for publishing “Necrophilia Noir” a instructional guide for beginner Necrophiliac.

AVAILABLE AT OUR WEBSITE!!!

All We Need is a photocopy of Your Personal Financial Statements such as Banking Statement, to Complete Your Purchase RIGHT FUCKING NOW BITCHES!!!

Text 3.

Von Dire’s band SlutFuck will be playing a limited number of secret acoustic Tour all during the month of March.

DON’T MISS SLUTFUCK’S “EATING THE ASS OUTTA A DEAD DINGO” TOUR

WHERE WILL THEY BE PLAYING YOU ASK???!!

Log On to Our Wretched WebSite where You and Your Friends can PURCHASE CLUES to help You to locate a Secret Show NEAR YOU!!

The Cost Per Clue is Only $29.99!!! ACT NOW, BUY NOW!!!!!!

Text 4.

Cocktails To The Tits: A Von Dire Meet & Greet scheduled before the debut of VD’s most recent Diseased Film “The Cyclops: Cycle of  Shitty Sex, Unbearable Sin, and the Abominable Aftermath”

Saturday Midnight Showing down at The Barfly Lounge!!!

Meet & Greet Passes $349.99 and Film Tickets for ADDITIONAL $74.99!!

Call The BarFly Lounge For Details RIGHT FUCKING NOW BABY!!!

Text 5.

“Zombie Hooker Handjobs” a Sick Flick by One of the most despised film makers in MOVIE HISTORY Von Dire’s Eldest Son Vin Dire!! COMING SPRING 2019!!!

Text 6.

“The Scumfuck Tradition & Legendary Luridness”

Von Dire’s FAMOUS AWARD WINNING ROCKUMENTARY chronicles Iconic Underground Hardcore Porno Punk Bands Such as the Following:

The Fuck Me Pumps, SlutFucker ( a SlutFuck Tribute Band), Slore, The Shitty Shitty Gangbangers, Agent Alien Anal X, The Prolapsed Rectums, Anti-All, Puss Buster, Rectal Invasion, Muff Diver & The Bull Dykes, Fighters and Fuckers, The Les Sober Scumbag 6, The Gash, Up To The Nuts In Guts, The Young Cocksmen, Hairy Clam and The Beavers, Death To Dipshits, Fuck Your Face, Mr. Fister, Cunt-Fart, Mangled Manginas, Vag The Impaler, Manstruation, The Salty Yogurt Slingers, Molested Melvin, The Perv’s, Rectal Leakage, The Bastards, and MANY MORE!!!!

Just Send Us the Deed to Your House as Payment!!! Purchase NOW!!!

Text 7.

Von Dire Presents “Disemboweling The Dead” a Perverse Film from Celluloid Sinn with LIMITED SHOWINGS AVAILABLE NOW STREAMING ON OUR SINFUL WEBSITE!!!! ONLY $197.60!!! ACT NOW!!!

Text 8.

The Sultan of Slaughter, The Duke of The Damned, The King of Corpses, The Barron of Blood, The Price of Perversion, The President of the Perverse, The Prime Minister of Sinister VON DIRE RETURNS AFTER 2 YEAR ABSENCE!!!!!

“Mouth Full of Maggots” is Von Dire’s Return to the Wretched Movie!!!

Already Banned in 49 States and 42 Countries World Wide!!!

Available in 90 Days for $129.99 or an Advance Copy for just $119.99!!!

Text 9.

The Von Dire Movie “Gargling With Broken Glass” is now available fully remastered in GORE VISON !! Available Now For $665.99!! Gore Vision Glasses NOT INCLUDED! Gore Vison Glasses SOLD SEPARATELY and can be PURCHASED for $349.99!!!

Text 10.

The Satanic Semen Society to induct Infamous Film Maker VON DIRE into the Sleaze Hall Of Fame on Julember 32nd!!! Watch the Induction on PPV On Demand for $49.99 or Stream it LIVE on our Sinister Website for $74.99!!!!

Text 11.

BREAKING NEWS!! YUGOSLAVIAN FILTH FILM DIRECTOR VON DIRE!!!

VON DIRE was Arrested and charged with Crimes Against the Indigenous People of PogoPogo while filming his latest movie

“The Bloody Savages of The Flesh Forrst”

Stay Up To Date on this SHOCKING News Story by Subscribing to Our NEW YOURUBE Channel for a Low Monthly Charge of $79.99!!

WTF R U WAITING 4?!!

 

That My Readers is where it has ended for now, and We will have to wait and see if this situation will continue in the near future/future.

Thanks For Reading,

Les Sober