Tag: cultural differences

Lee Jonitis:Professional People Watcher (57/365)

Lee diverted His gaze towards the Front of the Bus were a Small Old Man who looked sickly thin almost skeletal. It reminded Lee of a Late Stage Alcoholic who has given up food to Ingest just Alcohol like His deceased Uncle Wilber. The Man was so thin His clothes though the Right size when the Man was Healthier now hung on His Feeble Frame like a Child trying on His Father’s Suit. The Oldman’s long mostly white and greasy hair was slicked back, and along with His scraggly beard both seemed only to exaggerate His Disheveled Appearance. The Old man Shuffled Heel-Toe past the Driver and sat down in the Seat directly behind the Driver.

As soon as the Old Man sat down He slumped forward so far Lee thought He might tumble head first onto the Bus Floor at the slightest bump or jiggle. The next thing Lee knew the Old Man started to Vomit though since He apparently hadn’t eaten in a Long While He was puking up a Vile combination of Bile, Stomach Acid, Cheap Booze, and an excessive amount of Saliva. The Man just continued to periodically vomit over and over again until His Lap was a Pool of Putrid Smelling Puke. The Vomit that had Pooled in the Old MAn’s Lap began to soak into His pants and the Over flow started to creep down the Man’s Trouser Leg like a Waterfall in Slow Motion. The Smell permitted the Bus from end to End as Passengers fumbled frantically to Open as Many of the Bus window’s as Possible. All the while the Driver acted absolutely Oblivious to the Human Vomit Fountain sitting behind Him only Inches away. Lee felt his gag reflex about to go Full Tilt on Him and He at last looked away from the Old Man and His Veracious Public Vomiting Episode.

           

“HEY! HEY! HEY!,” whispered Dizzy like an Excited Child, “Look over there the Bus Bunny is making Her Move. I fucking told you, I fucking so told You So!”

Lee shot a quick glance in the Direction of the Bus Bunny who had remained standing in the aisle next to the Tweeked Out Businessman idol chatting away. Now She moved so she was now standing in Front of the Businessman  as if She was simply passing by Him to the reach Window Seat. Then in the blink of an Eye the Bus Bunny transformed momentarily into some sort of Sex Ninja. In an Instant the Bus Bunny had Her Panties off and in Her purse, Mini Skirt Hiked Up, and was bouncing up and down on the Businessman’s Meth induced Boner all in one Foul Swoop. Lee’s turned His attention to the second set of Bus Door at the Back of the Bus as it pulled up to a Stop.

A Small group of perhaps 7-8 Very Stern looking Asian Men boarded the Bus, and moved immediately to the Back of the Bus occupying the Last several rows. As Lee looked on The Group of rather Grim looking Asian Men pulled out Large Rolls of Money, started counting out Different Amounts, and Handing them Back and Forth. The Eldest Member of the Group reached into a Bag had slung over His right Shoulder to retrieve a Bottle of Saki and what appeared to be Several Saki Cups. The Elderly Man placed the Bottle on the Floor of the Bus while he handed out the Saki Cups one by one to each member of the Group.

           

“What in the name of all things Strange is that all about?” asked Lee hoping Dizzy would have some sort of Insight into the Subject, and luckily Lee wasn’t Disappointed.

“Oh yeah that,” said Dizzy casually, “They’re coming from a Beta Fish Fight down in China Town.”

“What in the hell is a Beta Fish Fight?” Lee wondered aloud disregarding His surroundings.

“Well You know how We have Dog Fighting here in America Right? Well in Asia especially Thailand and Vietnam the Locals host Beta Fish Fights where People can Gamble on the Outcome,” replied Dizzy completely at ease, “Beta Fish are Cool looking, BUT they are Aggressive as a Motherfucker thats why in the Pet Stores they are Housed Solely by Themselves. If you put a Beta Fish in Your Tank they will not stop until they have killed every other fish in the Tank including Other Beta’s. Thats why Beta Fish Fights found a Home in Overseas Gambling.”

           

“Alright thats insanely nitrating, but that doesn’t explain the Slightly sweet smell wafting off of the Entire Group? Mind you its not a bad Smell just one I’m not Familiar with is all.” said Lee with a good deal of conviction.

“Opium. What Your smelling is Opium.” answered Dizzy without pause.

“They smoke Opium at Beta Fish Fights to?!” asked Lee in disbelief at what Dizzy had just told Him.

“No, No They don’t smoke it Nowadays, BUT all the basements and backrooms where the Beta Fish Fights are held used to be Opium Dens back in the Day,” Dizzy said with a Scholarly Air, “You see just like with Cigar Smoke Opium smoke lingered in the Rooms and slowly but surely permitted into the Wood Furniture, Wood Accents all that kind of Shit. Apparently they smoked so much fucking Opium that the Smell is not just noticeable at the Fish Fights but it can stick to the Attendees clothing and hair as well.”

            

Stay Tuned for the Next Pulse Racing Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (58/365)

Thank for Reading,

  By Les Sober

A Jokes Who’s Social Commentary Went From Funny To Just Plain Disturbing

I feel the following sums up the state of affairs in American under Trump The Traitor. America We Need To Unite As A Nation and Prepare For A 2nd Revolutionary War: The Politicians & The Rich Vs. The Citizens & The Poor.

A World Wide survey was conducted by The United Nations (UN).

The Question asked was: “Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of The World?”

The Suravy was a Huge Failure.

In Africa They didn’t know what “Food” Meant.

In Eastern Europe They didn’t know what “Honest” Meant.

In Western Europe They didn’t know what “Shortage” Meant.

In China They didn’t know what “Solution” Meant.

In South America They didn’t know what “Please” Meant.

AND IN AMERICA They didn’t know what “The Rest Of The World” Meant.

Thanks For The Read,

Les Sober

 

The Hippy and The Hillbillies

My father was born,grew up in, lived and worked in two major Northern cities before he met my mother at his job. My mother was working in the second city ,BUT she was from a very small southern town where she was born and raised before seeking employment in the Northern city.

As you may imagine though they lived in the Northern city they made frequent yearly trips to visit my mothers side of the family down south. Now my father noticed in the first few years of their marriage that when he wanted to go into town my grandfather automatically would send one of my mom’s relatives to accompany him. In all due favor it was the mid seventies the deep south. At this time my father had a full on beard, prominent jew fro, wore aviator sun classes and sported a military type  jacket . Well finally my father got rather fed up with the whole baby sitter situation and asked my Grandfather strait out why he couldn’t go into town alone.

My Grandfather in brutal honesty told him the reason he wouldn’t allow my father to go by himself into town. My Grandfather said it was because until the towns people knew who he was, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY that he was married to my mom and my Grandfather’s son-in-law it simply wasn’t safe.