customer service – f-your blog

A Road Trip Tip So You Don’t Get Screwed Over

A While Back My Wife and I had to go on a Road Trip to of all fucking Places fucking Florida. My Wife’s Family Predominately Live in Florida so We head Down there about 4 times a Year to Visit Them. Now to be fucking Clear I actually do Like My In-Laws, BUT for the Record FUCK FLORIDA. I fucking Can’t Stand Florida which was a Glorified Swamp filled with Moronic and Insane Assholes running around like the fucking Wild West. Over the Last 5-6 Years Florida went From a Shitty Swamp to an ABSOLUTE AND UNADULTERATED FUCKING SHITHOLE Populated by Scum of the Lowest fucking Order. And No I don’t give a Flying Fuck about Disney or fucking Universal or The Kennedy Space Museum since I’m Not a fucking Little Kid so Don’t Bother Mentioning Any of Them.

We always Leave on a Friday so My Wife Doesn’t get fucked out of P.T.O Hours (Paid Time Off) and We Usually We Drop Our Dog’s off at A Friend’s House in the Late Morning, Drive Home, Pack the Truck, and Hit the Road. This Particular Trip though all fucking Hell was Breaking Loose at My Wife’s Job so We had to Switch Up Our regular Routine. We Dropped the Dogs Off first fucking thing in the Morning and Them We headed Home so My Wife could get to Work. She didn’t get back Home Until 6:30pm and then We packed the Car and Hit the Road by 7:15pm. We finally reached Our Destination in Fucked Up Florida at about 3 am to find a Cold Front had rolled in and it was Non Stop Raining.

My Wife went in to the Hotel where We had made a Reservation fucking WEEKS BEFORE We were coming to Check In and all that bullshit. I waited for Her to Return to the Truck accept it was taking an Unprecedented Amount of Time and was getting Quite Pissed Off. I continued to Wait without doing dick because When I get Pissed Off I turn into a Raging Asshole which tends to make shit worse. After what seemed like for-fucking-ever My Wife came Walking back it to the Truck with a Extremely Displeased Look plastered across Her Normally Calm Face. I instantly knew by Her look Something Seriously fucked up had Happened and Now We were going to be Scrambling at 3 am in the fucking Rain to find a Solution to this Surprise Problem. And I was Right on Point with My Assumption.

When She hopped Back into the Truck She informed Me that the fucking Hotel decided to SELL OUR ROOM in spite of the Fact We had Paid for it in fucking Full when We made the motherfucking Reservation. The Issue was since They Sold Our Room to Some Asshole the Hotel affectively had ended up Double Booking the goddamn room. The Result of this was We were fucked out of Our Reservation, its was Cold and Rainy, and at 3 am We had No Where to Stay. We pulled into a Parking Spot at the Hotel since We didn’t have a Clue what the fuck to do about the Bullshit Situation and Sat in Our Truck Brainstorming. As I mentioned I was already Pissed because I was Worn Out from the Road so I was on the Verge of Totally Losing My Shit at this Point.

I asked My Wife what the fuck the Person Working had to Say about all this fucking Bullshit that had Ended Up fucking Us Over. She replied that there was Only One Employee who looked like She graduated from fucking High School Yesterday and that this was Her first Day on the Job. The Bottomline was the Employee was Inexperienced and Utterly Incapable of Dealing with the Problem and in all Due Favor had Called the On Call Manager for Help. Between it being 3:30am and the Manager being a Total Prick Didn’t’t answer Their fucking Phone leaving the Employee ass out to Defend for Herself. Since I knew if I walked into the Hotel Pissed as a motherfucker I most likely would End Up Walking Out in fucking Handcuffs (because Someone would inevitably call the Cops) decided to Conduct all Conversations with said Employee via the Phone.

First thing First I called and Demanded the Employee call Her Manager and Blow Their Phone Up until They fucking Answered. Well That Didn’t Accomplish a damn thing. Next I asked Her what the fuck about the Fact We had Pre Paid for the fucking Room and since We got screwed over We wanted Our fucking Money back incase We Located another Hotel with a Vacancy. The Employee then tells Me that the Hotel will definitely Refund Our Money BUT it Couldn’t be Done Until Tomorrow because She didn’t have the Authority to do Refunds. For the Record I knew that this Employee was the Lowest Person on the Totem Pole and as such had No Real Power or Authority to do much of Anything other than Apologize.

Keeping this in Mind when I have to Deal with Customer Service I try Not to Abuse the Customer Service Rep. I know They can’t really do Much if fucking Anything to Help Me so I make Sure to Say shit like “Your Employer”, “Your Boss”, and Call the Company Out by Name. I fully fucking Understand Why People get Angry in these types of Situations and Tend to Vent Their Displaced Anger on/at the Customer Service Rep. That is Why I make sure to Call the Company Out by Name or Say Shit like “I know its not you…” or “Your Employer…” or “The People Running the Company…” because again Yelling and Cursing at Someone with No Actual Authority is Futile because They lack Any and All Power to Do Jack Diddly Shit. The Best Part is Customer Service Reps get Screamed at and Insulted Daily by Pissed Off Jackasses so When They Encounter a Customer Who Doesn’t Automatically Unleash Their Fury Upon Them are Very Appreciative. Their Appreciation translates into Them going above and Beyond, doing shit They Normally wouldn’t, to Try and Really Help You Out (Mind You Though even with the Best Intentions They have Little to No Authority) as Best They can instead of Sticking to the Script so to speak.

The Next Half Hour the Employee desperately called Other Hotels in the Area trying to Find One We could go to with just One Problem. As I mentioned We drop Our Big Dogs off at a Friends, Yet Our the Little Dog Travels with Us. I told the Employee that the ONLY fucking Condition We had was whatever the fucking Place was it had to be fucking Pet Friendly which seems simple enough. While the Employee did Find Several Places every time She called Me Back it turned Out She had fucking Forgot that the Place had to be Pet Friendly. Since this was Her fuck up and Her’s alone I began to get Far More Aggressive and asked Her why it was so fucking hard to remember one fucking thing because Now She was wasting My fucking Time as We sat in Our fucking Truck in the fucking Parking Lot in the Rain like Assholes.

Luckily While I was attempting to Deal with the Situation with the Employee My Wife was Calling Hotels as Well looking for an Alternative for Us. And Low and fucking Behold My Wife found a Place Near By, Pet Friendly, and had a Vacancy. At that Point I told the Employee that My Wife had figured something out since the Employee was fucking up time and time again. I then suggested the Employee find another fucking Job and One hopefully She’d be better at. I also took a moment to Shit Talk the Useless Manager and while doing so Asked if Said Manager would be working Tomorrow which They were. I did in fact call the Manger Jerk Off the Next Day and Ripped Him a New Asshole, and meanwhile all this pathetic fuck could say was that He didn’t appreciate My use of Foul Language. I reminded Him I’m legitimately Pissed the hell off at getting fucked Over and Offered to come Down to the Hotel so We could Discuss the Matter of the Room and My Language in Person which He Declined.

The Moral to this Story is a Simple One: ALWAYS Cover Your Ass. I had experienced My Parents and Others Over the Years calling Hotels to Verify that They are Coming which I always thought was well Retarded. I thought so because if You make a fucking Reservation then that takes care of it because that’s what the fucking purpose a Reservation serves. Needless to Say I fully understand that Calling to Confirm Your Reservation is Retarded BUT unfortunately fucking Necessary Bullshit. Thus I will be calling to verify My Hotel Reservations from Now until the End of My fucking Life because I swear to fucking God I’m NOT going through that Shit EVER Again.

It is What it Is,

By Les Sober

SCREAMS FROM THE GOLDEN ARCHES

Welcome To Today’s FYB Post featuring SCREAMS FROM THE GOLDEN ARCHES by MeatCanyon. MeatCanyon’s Real Name is Hunter August Hancock better know by His online user name MeatCanyon. Hancock is an American Youtuber, Animator, Voice Actor, Comedian, Writer, and Director who makes Parody Animations of Popular Characters (say Sponge Bob for instance). Some viewers of MeatCanyon’s Animations have been Described them in just One Single Word “Horrifying”. A common on going gag in Hancock’s video’s is that Something Normal or Mundane gets You Killed or Possible Worse. And SCREAMS FROM THE GOLDEN ARCHES stays True to the MeatCanyon Formula.

Synopsis: The Brutal Origin of The Mysterious McRib is Revealed and It’s Far from Appetizing.

It is what it is,

Presented By Les Sober

Just When I Though I’d Seen It All…..

The Other Day Started just like another with Me Battling Dogs to reach My Phone to shut off the Alarm. The Issue is the Dog’s damn well Know that when the Alarm goes off I get Up, and They get to Go Outside which also apparently includes giving Them Each a Treat. Needless to Say after a Moderate Struggle I managed to Shut the Alarm off and Let the Dogs Out (Yeah it was Me so Suck On That), and then Immediately headed into the Kitchen to Whip up some Coffee or Go Juice as it is Referred to Around these Parts.

To say I’m NOT a Morning Person is the Understatement of the fucking Millennium and I wish I was Joking. The Rule is NO ONE is to talk to Me for a Full Hour after I get Up because While I look Awake and with it I am More or Less running on Autopilot. Unfortunately for Me a Man born without a Patient Bone in His Entire fucking Body Our Heavily used Keurig Shit the Bed quite a While Ago so My Wife started Using a French Press. So taking Several Technological Steps backwards I put the Kettle on the Stove, and Turned the Knob to Ignite the Flame since We use Natural Gas for Cooking (and to Heat Our Tankless Hot Water Heater). The Pilot Light was Crackling Away like a fucking Downed Power Line, but Alas there was No Flame to Speak Of. Annoyed by this Inconvenience I started Turning the Other Knobs in an Attempt to get One out the Four to Ignite and Agin My Efforts were Thwarted.

My Anger Kicked in like a fucking Jet Engine Revving Up as the Idea of My Precious Coffee being Delayed even if for only a Few Minutes Enraged Me to No End. It was then that it Occurred to Me that I literally could Not Remember the Last Time I called the GAs Company to Refill Our Tank. Needless to Say I was Now under the Unacceptable assumption that We had fucked up by Not Monitoring the Level of Gas in he Tank , and Thus We must have simply Run Out of Gas. This would be a Royal Pain in the Ass Trust Me. The Gas Company is called Edisto and They are Nothing Short of a Bad Joke. In all Honesty it is BY FAR the Most Half Assed Operation I have Ever Witnessed and I’ve seen Plenty during the Course of My Life. A Quick Example of Edisto’s Ineptitude Ironically was When We Scheduled a Refill for Our Tank and When the Day Arrived the Edisto Employee Didn’t. The Good Old No Call No Show Routine. I called Edisto and Explained what happened and They Apologized and Said They’d Send someone out Right Away. Again No One Came without Any Notice Whatsoever. I called Edisto a Third fucking time, and the Third Time was the Charm as They Say, and at Last I got a Refill.

I ventured out onto the Front Porch and for Some Reason I still Don’t rightfully Understand Instead of going Left to Exit the Porch. You see I’d have to Walk from the Porch around to the side of the House where the Gas Tank is, Yet instead I cut Right because You can See (but Not Access) the Gas Tank from there. I leaned over the Railing and Turned My Head towards the Gas Tank I wasn’t at all Prepared for what I saw Next. The Gas Tank was Gone. The Four Cement Blocks it Sat On where still there along with the Disconnected Gas Line but the Gas Tank Itself had for all Intents and Purposes Up and fucking Disappeared.

It was in that Brief Moment I learned what the Saying “Does Not Compute” actually meant as My Brain was so Scrambled by Confusion I initially had No fucking Clue what to do or what I should do next. It’s was total Mindfucking Clusterfuck as My Eyes relayed to the Brain the Gas Tank was in Fact No Longer where it Should Be, and My Brain just Couldn’t grasp the Concept. In all Favor something like a Gas Tank (which is 6 Feet Long, Standing 4 Feet High, and made of Steel) is something You would Never even Consider a Possibility. It would be like walking Out of Your House in the Morning to Find Your 2 Car Garage Missing, or Perhaps Your Driveway suddenly Vanished without a Trace.

As I scanned the Yard still in a complete State of Shock and Awe I noticed there were a Distinct set of Truck Tire Tracks running across My Front Lawn. They Truck Tracks ran From the Middle of My Driveway across My Front Lawn and Ended by where the Gas Tank had Previously been for the last Four fucking Years. Undoubtedly I did experience a Moment of Panic mixed with Extreme Anxiety where I though the Gas Tank had been Stolen. I was Equally aware that the Idea that Someone Stole it made Abosolutely No fucking Sense Whatsoever. Beside being Big, Bulky, and Heavy as Hell the Metal that the Gas Tank is Constructed with has Zero Scrap Value like say Copper Wiring/Pipes. It was as Mr. Spock Would Say “Illogical”. Even though the Whole thing Defied Logic it was abundantly Clear that the ONLY Culprit could be the Edisto. Why the fuck They took My Gas Tank without Notice or Warning still baffled Me. I thought it was Safe to assumed it must have to do with Money even though We hadn’t bought Gas Forever so How could We owe Them a Goddamn Dime?!

Out of Sheer Bewilderment I called My Mother. I figured that having spent a Majority of Her Life Living in a Small Town in the South might have some Information on the Subject at Hand. When I spoke with Her She had No Clue Either What Possibly could be Going On and Said I should Call the Police. There was No Way in Hell I was going to (at least at this point or perhaps as a LAST Resort) call the Cops to Report My Gas Tank had Gone Missing. Calling the Police before Contacting the Gas Company seemed Foolish. I then Texted a Picture of the Vacant Area where the Gas Tank had been, and a brief Synopsis as to what had Occurred to My Wife who was at Work at the Time since it was Mid Morning. She Texted Me Back that Granted the Situation was Bizarre and that We Needed to call The Gas Company. Then being the Angel that She is asked if I wanted Her to call Them, and since I still felt Half Asleep, Denied My Glorious Cup of Coffee, and Befuddled Beyond Belief said Yes. I can say with One Hundred Percent Honesty that if I had called the Call would have broken down into a Serious Shit Show because in My Current State of Mind My Anger would Undoubtedly Rear its Ugly Head.

It only took about Ten Minutes Before My Wife Called Me with the Missing Pieces of the Missing Gas Tank Puzzle. It turned Out that it Never Occurred to Us that We didn’t Actually Own the Gas Tank even though it was There When We Bought the fucking House. Apparently the Gas Company Owns it and Charges Us a Five Dollar a Month Rental Fee which We were also Utterly Ignorant of. According to the Gas Company We hadn’t need a Refill since and I kid You Not Early 2019, BUT We hadn’t Paid the Rental Fee and They came and Repossessed Their Equipment. First of All We were Never informed of this Rental Charge (Neither was My Mother which Blew My Mind that Even She wasn’t Aware), but that Makes Sense considering the Gas Company is a Prime Example of How NOT to Run a fucking Business. I also riffled through the Past Years Bills, and Low and Behold there wasn’t a Single fucking Bill from the Gas Company pertaining to an Over Due Rental Fee Situation.

In the End My Wife Paid Off Our Bill in Full, and by some Odd Twist of Fate somehow was Talked into Buying a Hundred and Fifty Gallons of Natural Gas. I’ve never been a Science Whiz so I’m not even Sure How the fuck You Measure a Gas in Gallons Since the Gallon is a Unit of Measurement Used for Measuring Liquids. Also if We use so Little Natural Gas that We went Damn Near Two Years on a Full Tank means with a Hundred a Fifty Gallons of Natural Gas We have More Then We could Ever fucking Use for the Rest of Our Lives. The Amazingly Strange thing to Me is in Spite of a True Comedy of Errors the Gas Company still some how Managed to make a Sale. I also thought to Myself that if the Gas Company Guy had Knocked on the Door I could have Paid Him right Then and There and all of the Bullshit wouldn’t have been Necessary. Needless to Say the Gas Company wasted its Own Time, Gasoline, and Man Hours having Their Employee take the Tank without trying to collect Payment First Firsthand. All I know is I wasn’t the Only Person Pissed Off about How this Scenario was Handled because when the Gas Company Guy Returned to Return and Hook up the Tank He looked Madder than a Motherfucker. He really Should have Tried Knocking on the Door.

Thanks For Reading,

By Les Sober

Two Different Perspectives For The Same Situation

While Humans have Five different senses (Sight, Smell, Touch, Taste, and Hearing) Yet Ninety Percent of all of the Information We learn/observe from the World Around Us comes Solely from Sight. Considering this it’s Safe to Say Life is all a Matter of Perspective. The Definition of Perspective is as Follows: Perspective: A Particular Attitude Towards or Way of Regarding Something; A Point of View. What People believe to be Good, Bad, or Indifferent is just a matter of Their personal perspective pertaining to the Subject at Hand.

For all Intents and Purposes We will use the Subject of “Tipping” to serve as Our Example on the Subject of Perspective. A Tip is Defined as : A Tip of Gratuity is an Extra Sum of Money Paid to Certain Services Workers for a Provided Service. Tip Amounts, as well as Acceptance, Vary in Different Parts of the World. In Some Countries in East Asia such as Japan, Tips are seen as Insulting and can Sometimes be Interpreted as a Bribe.

As We can see Even the Definition or the Concept of Tipping is a Matter of Perspective. In Countries like America Gratuity is taken for Granted as being just a part of Utilizing certain Services (Example: Tipping a Waiter, Uber Driver, or Pizza Delivery Man Etc). Meanwhile in Japan Tips aren’t considered Compensation for a Job Well Done by the Employee. In Japan Gratuity is in fact Perceived Negatively as a Bribe so Straight away We have a Prime Example of a Difference in Perspectives.

Many People Perceive Tipping as a Positive Incentive for Employees in the Service Industry to Provide Acceptional Service to and for Their Customers. An Extremely Similar Positive Perspective is Tipping is a way of Rewarding Someone as a Sign of Appreciation for a Job Well Done. An Incentive is Defined as: Incentive: A Thing that Motivates or Encourages One to do Something. Also People who are in Favor of the Tipping System tend to Tip more than Average as a Way of Attempting to Secure Exceptional Service in the Future. It’s simply Applying the Pavlovian Conditioning (See Pavlov’s Dog) to Human Beings instead of Canines. What We Mean is by Repeatedly Tipping People Well the Consumer is trying to Illicit a Conditioned Response from the Employee. The Consumer wants the Employee to Realize that They Tip Well so that the Employee providing Them Service will Automatically do a Superior Job, and this is because the Workers Know You’re a Big Tipper thus providing an Incentive for Them to Provide Good Service. This is Absolutely No Different than Your Basic Reward System for Positively Reenforcing a Certain Desired Behavior (Example Toilet Training a Child, When They Use the Toilet Properly They are Rewarded, Same Tactics are used in Training Dogs as well).

Meanwhile on the Other End of the Perspective Spectrum a Tipping it is Perceived as a Negative System based on Bribery. First the Word Bribe is Defined as: Bribe: Persuade (Someone) to Act in one’s Favor, Typically Illegally or Dishonestly, bu a Gift of Money or Other Inducement. The Opposite Perspective is a Tip is Not an incentive for Someone to Perform Their Job Duties, but a Self Centered Bribe You offer Someone to Insure Good Service for Yourself Alone. It’s the Old Cliche of a Person getting into a Taxi and Saying “I’m in a real rush so if You can Hurry (aka if You Speed and possibly Violate some Traffic Laws) and Get Me to My Destination as Fast as You Possibly can Theres a Big Tip in it For You.” This is an Incentive its just a Negative Incentive. Its Financial Motivation for an Employee to Bend or Break Company Rules, Certain Applicable Laws, or in Some other Nefariously Way Insure the Employee disregards Protocol to Provide the Specific Service a Particular Customer Desires. Bottomline its the Age Old Adage “IF You scratch My Back THEN I’ll scratch Yours.” or Simply Put “IF You Do Something For ME, and I’ll do Something for You in Return” which is the Definition of a Bribe.

So in the End We can See that Our Lives Our Likes, Dislikes, Loves, Hates, Opinions, and Judgments are all Based on Our own Personal Perspectives. How We see the Situation dictates How We respond to it or How You Think about a particular Subject be it Positive or Negative in Nature. Your Perspective whatever it may be Dictates Your Perceptions of The World and People Around You at any given Time in Your Life. Having a Vast Variety of Varying Perspectives Not only Challenges, but Demands that We think for Ourselves and Ignore Outside Influences for Once. While We are a Society as a Whole Our Society is made up of Millions of Different People and They’re Different Perspectives We are Not a Collective comprised of Mindless Clones.

Thanks For Reading,

By Les Sober

To whom it may concern: status update for FYB 2021

Hello Everyone and Everybody,

My name is Justin Sane and I am excited to finally address everyone out there in FYB land, and i’m not sure where to start. This is one of those things you plan out in your head, and when the moment comes at last your brain goes blank so your left just standing there with your genitals in your hand. To get started here’s a basic run down of FYB for you.

The creative team: the who’s who of FYB

Les Sober Founder FYB Inc. and Creative Director
Justin Sane Les’s righthand, long time friend, and Director of Content
Otto Rageous Les’ lefthand man, long time and Project Director
Lady Les’ wife, better half, handler, guardian angel, confidant, best friend soulmate, consultant, advisor, and unofficial 4th member of the FYB Team.
SpaceDog Les’s partner in crime, long time friend, and Content Contributor.
N@P Les’s close friend, content contributor, and Creative consult.
Coming soon!!! C-Nobody Les’s good friend, musician, creative consultant, and future content contributor.

What’s in a name?

The name thing actually started. Les, Otto,and I had a hardcore punk band called Stank breath. I can’t remember why exactly the reason we chose the name Stank Breath, but that’s high school freshmen boys for you. Since we were a punk band we all assumed stage names, and we have keep them for every artistic project since. The point is we want people to know our work not who we are. The point is Les isn’t the only paranoid introvert around these parts though he currently the local heavy weight champion, and will be defending the quad county championship belt next month in Muncie Indiana. Tickets on sale now $15 in advance $20 at the door. Doors open at 7 pm and the show starts at 8 pm Must be 21+ with valid proof of age for admittance is strictly enforced. Event is being held at the town’s local senior center use google maps for directions.

My 2 cents worth

The question of why I’m writing this now or why the hell am I here all of a sudden which is fare enough. FYB has been on an unplanned break due to circumstances mainly beyond our control. Some might say we are in some sort of “control”of situations when it comes to Les. Thats why I specifically stated for the record “mainly beyond our control” because have you ever tried to wrangle a fucking category 5 shitnado before?! It ain’t easy and damned near impossible.

To briefly recap Les is an extremely intense and some what emotionally unstable which makes him both a creative force to be reckoned with and an out of control asshole. Les has spent most of his life looking to master moderation so he could achieve some sort of balance in his chaotic existence. Les is a lot like moonshine in that as it ages Moonshine mellows as it becomes less abrasive and stronger with the passing of time. So if you meet Les and think he’s a motherfucking madman you can only imagine what dealing with him was like in the early days.

We collectively and in total agreement decided Les needed to try and take a break from everything in an attempt to keep him on the safer side of insanity. First off there was the hellishly busy and corrosively commercial holidays. What people including Les learned in 2020 is that getting a family together for a Zoom call in reality is actually harder to pull off than just gathering everyone in a group someplace. When you enter the Zoom universe you enter a suspended space and time continuum that is far more abstract is structure than that of the Physical realm or reality.

Unfortunately aside from the hell of the holidays a perfect fucking shitstorm has been brewing for several weeks in the land of Les recently. So it stay focused and on topic I’m going to paraphrase and use plenty of actual quotes from Les to give you a closer first hand view. The thing that you most likely notice is these are all things that SERIOUSLY Piss Les Off hence the perfect shitstorm scenario.

The Security Situation

Les has such high standards that the Lunatic can’t even live up to them. Thats right Les’s standards for People himself included are so High they are virtually unreachable. Its like dangling a carrot infant of a stubborn donkey to get it to walk. The donkey will never get the carrot but as long as it sees it hanging in mid air right in front of its face it remains obtainable as far as the donkey is concerned anyway. Customer service is a huge issue with Les who has gone on record making statements like :

“Is it too goddamn much to ask some fucking idiot to do their fucking job?!”
“They act like I’m bothering them, oh so fucking sorry for making you do the job you’re getting pain to fucking do in the first fucking place.”
“Incompetent or Uncaring either fucking way they’re all a bunch of motherfucking fuckers.”
“Apparently customer service is a dead industry and now asshole rule the fucking world.”

There was an issue with the FYB security system which I will not get into here as Les is already working feverishly on a Post about it with all the gritty details. Anyway the System was fucking up, Les spent 5 plus hours on the phone trying to remedy the problem with the alarm company, got so pissed that he switched alarm companies, and got a better deal. Even though Les is fond of saying “Alls well that ends well” he forgets to mention that in spite of the newer and far superior alarm system he will hold a grudge concerning how shitty the customer service of the original alarm company was. Les may not be able to carry a tune but he can carry a grudge for fucking YEARS.

Dealing with Les I am constantly reminded of my favorite scene from the movie From Dusk To Dawn. It’s the scene where the main characters have gained access to the Biker Bar and Harvey Keitel asks George Clooney’s character. Keitel’s character asks Clooney’s character if he is so stupid that he doesn’t know when he won. This is alluding to the fact while Clooney’s character’s plan is working and he’s hours away from being rich having escaped the authorities, but he’s willing to blow it all because he’s pissed at a Bar Patron for getting in his face. Thats Les in a nutshell. Sure the ordeal sucked like a $2 crack whore on a week long bender, yet as Les pointed out in the end he actually came out on top, but he rather focus on still being pissed about how it all went down even now that its over. Les I love you buddy but for Christ’s Sake LET IT GO LES JUST LET IT FUCKING GO BROTHER!!!

An apple a day keeps the doctors away….

Les is also been increasingly shitty due to his annual yearly doctor’s visit, and Les has let his contempt, disgust, and flat out hatred for all doctors (dentists included the sadistic fuckers) so no surprise he’s not a happy camper about having to see the doctor even if it is his. As Les has summed it up “Fuck doctors every fucking medical procedure is Painful or Uncomfortable, Costly, and usually rather embarrassing bordering on humiliating. Then all the greedy cocksuckers have to tell you is bad news followed by worse fucking news.”

See we all know doctors and all that shit sucks and the system sucks even worse, but we deal with it the best we can and life goes on. Not Les though he runs into a bump in the road and wants to fucking declare full blown fucking war on it. He becomes hyper focused to the point of obsession with destroying whatever is in his way or upset him. Les’s unofficial motto is “You fuck with me and I’ll fucking fuck you back 10 times over.” Les can be a truly vengeful son of a bitch. Its not good for his fucking health it fucking can’t be. I mean getting so stressed out or frustrated that you turn such a deep shade of red you look like the top of your fucking head is going to explode like a volcano. So at that point I mean your blood pressure has to be totally fucked up.

YouTube lands on Les’s shit list

As You are more than likely aware Les has been fucking Livid because Youtube recently changed their policies concerning age restricted content playing on 3rd party sites. Ever since it first took effect (Les was caught off guard because he doesn’t keep up on current tech shit or what big tech is up to) Les went APE SHIT. Once he “Calmed down” he was spitting venom like crazy about how big tech are greedy capitalism driven corporate whores who look at people as walking talking ATM machines. Les SHIT HAPPENS BROTHER. All Les wanted to do was find away to thwart YouTubes Policies, but Youtube just implemented these policies so if there is a way around them no one has figured it out yet. In the mean time all that we need to do is research other similar platforms until we find one that we can use or use to replace Youtube all together.

I mean I don’t get how the hell Les didn’t see this coming, and I’m sure he did he just wasn’t giving the situation his full undivided attention. Les knew things were changing because things always change, and it was when he was doing our most in-depth piece on GG Allin that Les discovered YouTube was pushing for more of their content to be on a buy or rent basis instead of free. Then Les was aware of YouTube going ballistic with the whole fucking monetization thing from increased advertising to YouTube taking a hefty cut of YouTuber’s profits. Then came the age restricted content deal which simply funnels more traffic to their site to the detriment of smaller 3rd party sites. It’s the usual case of the big dogs throwing their weight around to subjugate the little guy.

I mean this age restricted bullshit happened at the same time YouTube made its first major move into the streaming market with the ironically named YouTube TV. I get everyone wants a piece of the streaming pie, but YouTube streaming tv shows and shit just seems like a conflict of interest to me anyway. AGAIN LES IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD FUCK YOUTUBE AND LETS BE PROACTIVE INSTEAD OF REACTIVE!!!

Health insurance is hell

Lastly Les has been dealing with several different health insurance companies pertaining to prescription drug programs (we have no idea why though as of yet) and its not goin well. “Its going from the frying pan into the fire back into the frying pan and then back into the fire once again” as Les has put it. Apparently things with his health insurance weren’t to his liking so he’s been shopping around. To make things worse Les’s wife got shitty information and subpar assistance from a healthcare professional who helped her select her and Les’s new plan.

Due to the poor advice she signed up to a plan that turns out she wasn’t even happy with. There was all this fine print bullshit and they failed to send Les’s wife the proper paperwork in time for them to review it and use the opt out clause. Les is fucking furious and had repeatedly yelled “This is by far the shittiest fucking bullshit plan I have ever heard of it’s fucking pointless. You pay out your ass and get nothing in return its a fucking racket, a goddamn fucking scam.”

Les does have a point though in that the health insurance company your paying to protect you incase of illness or injury EMPLOY AN ENTIRE DEPARTMENT who’s job it is to thoroughly direct each and every customer claim ti find a way NOT TO PAY THE CLAIM. So when you see those fucking bullshit health insurance ads on tv remember they’ll gladly take your money while simultaneously trying to fuck you over.

So all in all Les will be returning shortly and has agreed to accept the help he know he could use, but refuses to ask for. As far as the future is concerned you’ll be hearing more from me along with Otto and some new Content Providers such as C-Nobody in 2021.

Sincerely,

Justin Sane

The Struggle Is Real

So I planned on Posting the Next installment of Lee Joints: Professional People Watcher Today, but to be quite frank I’m fucking worn out. There is some good News, well For Me anyways that I am happy to Report. Now You may have seen Me Ranting and Raving about the Fucked Up System of Highway Robbery Know as the American Healthcare System. That and You might have seen Me Enraged Railing Against the Outrageous fucking Scam the Healthcare System Truly Is. Hospitals are By Far are the Worst fucking Offenders of them all I assure You.

To Recap I have Raged against How its utterly insane that People sign up for Surgery or a Medical Procedure, have it done, and then wait to see what They Owe. Then when the fucking Bills come People just Shrug and Blindly pay them Without Question. Thats fucking Retarded. Before You get Your Car Repaired or Sign up for say Internet/cable Service You know Before hand what You’re going to be Charged, and What You will be receiving for said Payment. This is the way business is conducted unless You’re a Hospital in which case You do Your Damndest to Prevent Patients from being able to receive/View Their Itemized Bill.

Again People blindly Pay Medical Bills WHICH ARE NOT ITEMIZED and My Point is for the Massive Amount of Money involved wouldn’t You want to know what the fuck You paid for? If Your Mechanic or A/C Repair Guy did a Job for You and then handed You a Bill that stated only “You Owe Me this Sum of Money.” would You say Alrighty and fork over Your hard earned Cash No Questions asked? Without an Itemized Bill You’re allowing Whoever You’re dealing with to Exploit the shit out of the Situation by taking You for all Your fucking worth.

Now since the Dawn of Hospitals They have been seriously going out of Their way to give Patients the Royal Runaround Routine until You get Too Tired, To Exhausted, Too Pissed Off, or Plain just give the fuck up. The Question is Why? You paid a Handsome amount of Money so why would Hospitals make it insanely Difficult to get an itemized Copy of the Services You have Already fucking Paid For? The Reason is its No Secret that Hospital Charges are Outrageous, but They are so fucking Outrageous They don’t want You to Know How Much They Ripped You Off for. I think its safe to say Most of Us have seen one of the Countless Stories online posted by Patients chronicling and exposing Unbelievably Expensive Charges on Their Hospital Bill (Example: A Patient in NJ finally received his itemized Hospital Bill and saw They Changed Him $230 for a fucking 25 centToothbrush).

In the Age of the Internet Where Social Media is King making the Power of Word of Mouth even more Pivotal No One likes Bad Press. Especially Big Businesses who rely heavily on the Public for Their Income and let’s NOT FORGET Hospitals are BIG BUSINESSES Owned by LARGE CORPORATIONS. They damn well fucking Know if You see Your Itemized Bill then You’ll actually be able to see How Excessive and Greed Driven Their Charges really are. Their solution then is to give any Patient who requests an Itemized Bill the Run Around as Long as it takes for them to finally fuck off at last without EVER receiving the Itemized Bill. They Bounce You around from Department to Department, Tell You a Supervisor will call You Back with Clarifications (Big Surprise They NEVER call You), They will Mail it to You (Again They hangup and Simply Don’t Mail a Damn fucking Thing. Basically if They can’t frustrate You into giving Up, They try and Placate the Shit Out of You knowing that They have Absolutely No fucking Intention of Actually Helping You. They Tell You what You want to hear, hang up, and immediately forget about You.

I’ve been locked in this Battle with My Local Hospital for and I kid You Not OVER A FUCKING YEAR trying relentlessly but in vain to get a fucking Itemized Copy of My Bill. I have been Run Around like a motherfucker, Bullshitted, Placated, Apologized to, and Assured I would in fact receive My Bill which for the Record was a BOLD FACED LIE. I made 7 requests to have My records mailed to me (Hospitals intentional do not use the Internet for Billing just everything fucking else but Conveniently for them Not Billing), and was told Numerous Times that a Supervisor would call me back in 10-14 fucking days. Thats right I had to wait 2 motherfucking weeks, and like I said earlier They never fucking called and never intended too.

The Only Other Option to receive a Bill is By Fax like its 1986 or some shit can You say Outdated Tech?!! I because its fucking 2020 do not own or have direct access to a Fax Machine (Honestly I was surprised They still made fucking Fax Machines since I figured No One Used Them Nowadays), but I refused to Give Up and Let These Greedy fucking Bastards Win by wearing Me Out into Submission. Usually the People You’re referred to in Your quest for an itemized Bill are in fact Suborn, Abrasive, Standoffish, Aggressive, and Down Right Total Assholes. This I’m sure is Part of the Hospital’s Ongoing Scam because who wants to deal with a total dick? No fucking One thats goddamn Who.

Today I hit the Preverbal One in a Million and had a Woman Who actually Attempted to Help Me though She couldn’t actually get Me My Bill. She said as I stated Earlier that Mailing Doesn’t Work and I told Her I was Well fucking aware and that the whole thing is a fucking Scam from the Get Go. She also Admitted Supervisors don’t do a goddamn thing as Far as Customer Service of Any Kind as they Spend Their Days Holed Up in their fucking Offices Cowering Behind Their fucking Desks like a Bunch of Bureaucratic Paper Pushing Sons of Bitches. She went on to inform Me if I wanted a chance in Hell of actually getting an Itemized Bill I’d have to use the Fax Option. I then informed Her I lack the Time Machine I’d need to travel back in time to 1986 to get a Fax Machine and transport it back 34 years into the fucking Present.

She said I could go to a Store like Office Max or fucking Staples OR I could go to the Physical Hospital Itself and use Their Fax Machine. I was confused by the Receiving a Fax of My Bill when if I am at the Hospital they have a fucking Billing Department and ask what the fuck that was about. Apparently the Actual Hospital’s Billing Department Doesn’t have My Bill an operate Billing Department in another fucking state are the ones who are in possession of My Bill. My Question then is what the fuck are the cocksuckers in the Hospital’s Billing Department do all fucking Day Long if They don’t seem to do any actual do anything Billing related?!

I told the Woman while I appreciated Her so called Help and Information pertaining to My Bill that I simply didn’t Trust a fucking word out of Anyone who Works Directly for or a Third Party Employed by said Hospital fucking said. I went on to explain that I had a sneaking suspicion that if I went to a Store like Office Max then The Hospital would suddenly come up with a reason why they aren’t allowed to send faxes to Public Places of Business. That or if I went to Directly to the Hospital that They would either Tell Me No right Out or Worse Have ME wait for Someone who isn’t coming until I get tired of sitting in the lobby and go the fuck Home. At that Point We had reached an Impass since I still had No Personal Fax Machine, No Faith in the Hospital what so fucking ever, and She couldn’t send Me a copy of My bill without a Fax Number.

I then spent the next several minutes pacing like a Caged Animal on the Verge of a Psychotic Break and talked the situation over with My Awesome Wife. Luckily 2020 Technology it turns out provided a Back Door Option, as I should have Guessed. You see its 2020 so if You need a Fax Machine for some reason Theres an App for that and I downloaded it. After I installed it and it was up and running I called the Hospital back repeated My Ongoing request for an Itemized Bill, and That I had a Private Fax Number to send it to. The Second Lady I talked to tried to end the call by telling Me that She would put in a Mailing Request (Yeah My Ass) and I stopped Her in Her Tracks. I informed Her I had a Fax Number and would be using the Fax My Bill Option, but Not only that I wanted to be on the Phone as She Faxed it. I wasn’t about to have Them Yes ME to Death and Like the Phone Calls or Mail where They promise They’ll take care of it only then to play the “What do you mean You didn’t get it, We totally sent it.” run around bullshit. I wanted Confirmation that She faxed My Bill on the fucking Spot as I wasn’t about to give these slippery sacks of shit a chance to fuck me over again.

So after 15 Months I received My Copy of My Itemized Bill, mind You I haven’t looked at it yet as I’ve had enough Blood Pressure Aggravating shit for one fucking Day. I wouldn’t’ be surprised that there is a “Look at this Bullshit” post in the Immediate Future once I actually Lay Eyes on the Information.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

Misc. 1 & 2

Dealing with TechTards is A Lot like The DMV. You call One motherfucker for Help and They tell You that You need to talk to This Person or That fucking Person, But it’s Never Actually the fucking Person You are currently Talking too.

First You have to fucking Fight whatever God fucking Awful Automated System that Acts as the fucking Gate Keeper. Then right as Your about to Lose Your fucking Mind and Have already Cursed Out the Automated Asshole System the First Customer Representative (CR) listens to Your entire fucking Story and then Tell You They will Transfer You which is the fucking Kiss of Death. Once You’re stuck on the fucking Transfer Train You will get Bounced around having to Tell 2,3,4 fucking Other CR You entire fucking Story all Over.

That or the First CR claims It’s NOT THEIR COMPANIES Fault, and that You should Call Every Other fucking Tech Company You also Deal with. If it’s the Latter and You’re instructed to Contact one of the Other Tech Companies You have to go through the ENTIRE FUCKING BULLSHIT PROCESS ALL OVER AGAIN. Usually just the Way DMV bounces You from Line to Line so will The Tech Assholes.

What I mean is They all Claim that there is ABSOLUTELY NO ISSUE on Their End so Its Someone Else’s Issue or Perhaps Your Computer is fucked. The Other Day I had to Log into FYB through a Backdoor of WordPress, and to do that I had to Log into Bluehost, BUT Blue Host was Loading. I did EVEY Trouble Shooting Trick in the Entire Goddamn Book before Begrudgingly Accepted the Fact I would have to CALL Bluehost.

I dread making these type of fucking Phone Calls because I get Angry and My Blood Pressure Sky Rockets like an asshole. One Day I may Suffer an Anger/Rage Induced Brain Aneurism I swear to God. I fought through the Automated motherfucker and reached a Real Person. Immediately after I told Him that My Issue was Bluehost’s Website wouldn’t Load Told ME it was in Fact MY INTERNET PROVIDER that I needed to Talk too about the Issue.

I wasn’t standing for any of this Happy Horseshit so I told Him quite Aggressively that My Internet is fucking Fine, and Not only That But I was Streaming the Shit out of Netflix, Tweeting on My Phone, Googling all Kinds of Crap, and Youtube was Up on My iPad. So the Problem isn’t My Internet I told Him because Obviously Everything I just Listed wouldn’t e Working Either.

The conversation then went in the Same shitty Circle for 15 Minutes before the CR gave Me a Tip to Trouble Shoot the Issue at Last. He then became utterly Obsessed with sending Me some fucking Sort of E-mail. I don’t know where that fucking E-mail Ended Up, But he sat on the Phone FOREVER and a fucking Day waiting for Me to Confirm I received it. I decided I had had Enough for one fucking Day, and Simply Hung Up.

2. For Our Lawyers Sake:

Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, Allowance is Made for “Fair Use” for Purposes such as Criticism, Comment, News Reporting, Teaching, Scholarship, and Research. Fair Use is a Use Permitted by Copyright Statute that might Otherwise be Infringing. Non-Profit, Educational or Personal Use tips the Balance in Favor of Fair Use.

Click to access dmca.pdf

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

Autocalypse: When the Other Motorist’s Insurance is Shit

One Random Day My Wife asked if She could Borrow My Car to Run a Quick Errand and I said of Course. I’m Not on of those Guys that Insanely Compulsive about Their Car (Example: “ONLY I Drive My Car.”) and All I really cared about was Not being Dragged along as I hate Shopping in ALL Its Forms. Luckily for Me My Presence was Not required so I tossed Her the Keys, Fired Up the Laptop, and Settled in for a little Impromptu Me Time as it were.

30 Minutes had passed and I was thoroughly Enjoying Myself when then Phone Rang. I picked it up and it was My Wife who immediately told Me to STAY CALM, But something Happened to My Car. She then wen on to Inform Me that as She (along with a Dear Family Friend) had been Slowly Cruising the Grocery Parking Lot for a Space, and Low and Behold an Elderly Lady Pulled Out/ Backed Out of Her Parking Spot and Directly into My Rear Passenger Car Door. I instructed My Wife to make SURE NO ONE LEFT the Scene before I got there and that I was leaving the House as We Spoke.

I jumped into My Wife’s Car and Headed Out in a fucking Hurry. It Only took about 5-6 Minutes for Me to Arrive as This Particular Grocery Store was Literally Down the Street and Around the fucking Corner. Which was lucky for all as I ADMIT I Drive like a Total Asshole when I’m Seriously Pissed Off.

I pull up and the first fucking thing I realize is I smell Alcohol because The Elderly Lady smelled like a fucking Brewery, and NOT a good one Mind You. So I bulldozed My way passed the Drunk Old Lady so I could Survey the Damage Done to My Car. What I saw STILL Boggles My Mind to this Very Day.

The Driver was a Drunk Elderly Lady Driving a Generic as fuck 4 Door Sedan, and there was only 4 feet between where She was Parked and My Car Door. Well with those Stats You’d figure the Damage would be Rather Minimal, But in this Case You’d Be Wrong Very Wrong Indeed. You see instead of a Dent (or perhaps 2) or a Scratch (or 2) or Perhaps a little of Both My Door looked like it had been Hit by a Legitimate Wrecking Ball.

From the Bottom of the Window to the Bottom of the Door was Caved in, it looked like a fucking Meteorite Crater for fucks sake. How the Hell that Drunk Old Lady managed to Generate Enough Speed in 4 fucking Feet to Cause this Type of fucking Damage. I just stood there fucking totally Dumb Struck at what I was Looking along with the Scenario that Caused it.

At Last a Lazy Cop (I saw that because it took the Bastard 57 fucking Minutes to show the fuck up, and then acted All Authoritative as if We were wasting HIS Time the Hypocritical Cock Cracker) and He too instantly Smelled Alcohol on The Elderly Ladies Breath. We went through the Regular Rigamarole “Any One Hurt?”, “What Exactly Happened”, “Drivers Licensees and Proof of Insurance” Blah Blah Fuckity Blah. Once that Part concluded The Cop put the Drunk Elderly Lady in Handcuffs and Carted Her off to the Drunk Tank to Sober the fuck up.

Now I ADMIT I seriously fucked Up and instead of taking My Car to My fucking Mechanic as I have Done with EVERY Auto Accident I’ve been involved in/with. This time I’m still unsure why I opted to let the Drunk Elderly’s Lady’s Insurance (Which by the way was ALLSTATE, You’ll see why this is Significant a little later on in this Post) Fix it at One of Their Contracted Auto Mechanic Shops.

The Repair Consisted of Repairing the Power Window (which in all Honestly was Already Malfunctioning, BUT considering the Amount of Speed and Force Generated by the Drunk Elderly Lady chances are the Internal Power Window Mechanisms would have been Obliterated Anyways so) and Replacing the Car Door Panel. This Repair should take a Day perhaps Two if the Shop is Busy and You have to Wait for Them to get to Your Car.

Well for the Next TWO WEEKS My Wife, Friends, Family, and I continued to Struggle with How the hell This Drunk Elderly Woman could have induced SO MUCH Damage in such a Short Distance?! I joked I should call the Guys from the Defunct TV Discovery Channel Show MYTH BUSTERS, and ask Them to Figure it Out since They could probably use The Paycheck.

I also in Jest suggested I hire a Team of Physicists to Run Tests in a Lab to Figure Out the Answer. In the End the ONLY thing that even came Close to a fucking Answer was Being Intoxicated The Elderly Lady got in Her Car and Floored the fucking Thing without even Being Aware of It. Then She must have put the Car in Reverse while Gunning the Engine and SLAMMED Into My Car.

After Realizing that the Mechanic Shop My Car was being Repaired called STERLING AUTOMOTIVE (Yes I’m using Their Real Name because Their Assholes and People should fucking damn well know it.) had infant had My Car an EXORBITANTLY LONG fucking Time I gave Them a call the Next Day when I got a Free Minute at Work. As it were the Following Morning at Work (I was a Vet Tech at a Local Veterinary Animal Hospital) was Hectic as All Hell, BUT around 12:30 I had a chance to make the Call.

I was standing in the Midsection of The Hospital that was Behind the Exam Rooms where We did Bloodwork, Dispensed Medications, and Prepped Animals for Surgery and Such. My Boss and Supervisor where sitting to My Left shooting the Shit with a Couple of Our Clients. And Thank God They were Empathetic as Well as Being Pretty Cool People because What Happened Next was a Spontaneous Shitshow.

I Called Up STERLING AUTOMOTIVE and a Young Lady answered. I told Her the Situation, and that I was extremely Unpleased by Their fucking Slow as a Tortoise Timeline. She then Let Me Know that My Car was in Fact Ready, and The Mechanics were giving it a Once Over to Insure the Repairs were Correct. She then Informed Me there had Been an Issue with My Car, and I asked Her what at which point She tells Me matter-of-factly that While at Their Shop My fucking Car was Broken Into and Some Crackhead Cocksucker Stole My $300 Car Stereo.

I being back then My Later 20’s hadn’t learned a single thing about Proper Self Control so My Anger Kicked In and I Totally Lost My shit. I yelled into the phone something to the Effect of:

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN MY FUCKING CAR WAS FUCKING BROKEN INTO?! SOMEONE FUCKING BROKE INTO MY FUCKING CAR, AND FUCKING STOLE MY FUCKING STEREO? THAT’S WHAT THE FUCK YOUR FUCKING TELLING ME FOR FUCK’S SAKE?!!!”

The Poor Young Lady was COMPLETELY FLOORED and Had NO IDEA what to do at This Point Period. I told Her I’d be coming Down IMMEDIATELY and Hung Up on Her. I called My Wife who was Off from Work for a Ride Down to STERLING ASSHOLE AUTOMOTIVE.

As Soon as I Stormed in the Door EVERY Employee behind the Counter which was located at the Back of the Shop Hauled Ass out of there. I reached the Counter just in time to Hear someone say They were getting the Manager Jeff. To Occupy My time I made several Phone Calls and LOUDLY ANNOUNCED that My Car was Broken into and My Stereo Stolen at STERLING AUTOMOTIVE. I did this Solely because there were Plenty of Customers/Potential Customers in the Shop as well as Entering and Exiting.

At Last a Short Man Named Greg Weighing 90 Pounds Soaking Wet with Rocks in His fucking Pockets showed up to Escort Me Outside (Obviously to Avoid Creating any Further Commotion in the Shop). I immediately got Toe to Toe with Jeff and Told Him I sure a fuck didn’t Appreciate the Fact They had My car for a RIDICULOUSLY LONG TIME for a Simple Repair that in My fucking Opinion provided some Scumshit to Steal My Stereo.

Greg tried BRIEFLY at that Point to Stand His Ground by telling Me He didn’t Appreciate How I talked to His Employee. I then told Jeff TOUGH SHIT I wasn’t Apologizing to ANYONE FOR ANYTHING. I went on to say Jeff being the Shop Manager should have called Me since this was a Sensitive Issue, BUT APPARENTLY JEFF had the Desk Girl do it For Him. Thus it was His fault because He was being a fucking Coward and chose to Hide rather than do His fucking Job. Jeff promptly shut the fuck up and We went to Examine My Car.

I noticed as We walked around the side of the Building to Their Lot I noticed They had a 15 foot tall Chain Link Fence, but Unlike Every Other Auto Mechanic there was NO BARBED WIRE. This means that if You a Scumfuck or High on Crack and Not Insanely afraid of Heights You could Simply Climb over No Problem No Bolt Cutters Needed. As We entered the Lot I saw a Singular So-Called Security Camera that was DEFINITELY NOT useful for Shit because it was a Shitty Closed Circuit TV Camera (like the Ones They have in Connivence Stores) Circa 1980. The fucking Red Activation Light wasn’t on which is a EASY way to Tell the Camera wasn’t even On as more than likely it wasn’t even Hooked Up to Electricity.

I Didn’t hesitate to share My Distain and Observations to Greg’s Attention He Attempted to give Me a Bullshit Excuse and I told Him I could fucking Care Less what He had to say for Himself. Once We reached my Car the First Thing that Occurred to Me was The Window was Broken. Don;t get Me Wrong I didn’t;t want My Windows Busted, YET in this Type of Breaking an Entering the Perpetrator will simply Break the Window, Open the Door, and Steal the Stereo.

SO Why then wasn’t MY Window Busted Out?! I then asked Greg this Question and He said I kid You Not that because STERLING AUTOMOTIVE has SO MANY issues with People Stealing Their Customer’s shit while Their Vehicle is in Sterling’s Custody that They STOPPED LOCKING THE CAR DOORS. That translates into “We get robbed all the fucking time so We don’t lock the Doors so The Crackheads won’t Break The Windows, and Then STERLING wouldn’t have to Pay for the Window as Well as the fucking Replacement Stereo.”

Greg even informed Me that HIS fucking Car had been Broken Into 3 Times since He started working there. I suppose this was to try and make Me feel not so Bad about what Happened, BUT all it did was Piss Me off More. I took what Jeff had said as that STERLING was such a Shit Show of a Shit Shop that even the Employees Car’s get Robbed. What The Fuck is that bullshit About?!

Well in the End I got My Stereo Replaced, a Bullshit Apology from STERLING, and One Hell of a Story.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober ( Posted 12:16am)

A Lesson In Anger Management: Shitty Customer Service

I have Commented Before that Customer Service is a Dying Art if You will and Now Customer Service in General fucking Sucks. Well I had another Run in with a World Class Customer Service Shitbag.

The Issue was SO MINOR it was damn near Pathetic here’s Why. I Hate, Loath, and Despise Our Current TV/Internet Provider so I did what Anyone would do in this Situation I called Another Company and got a Better Deal. The Only small fuck up was the Sales Rep. was supposed to E-mail Me the Terms and Conditions bullshit Paperwork, but I never received said E-mail (though the Sales Rep. was VERY fucking Insistent I would get it Shortly after We concluded Our Phone Call as it were.) That was Yesterday.

Since I live in Bumfuck No Where USA We still have fucking Ridiculous 2 Year Service Contracts to Deal with. So Obviously I want to be goddamn sure I know what I’m getting into First believe You Me. With the Installation Scheduled for Tomorrow I was getting a bit fucking Irritated that My Window to Review Said Documents was Narrowing.

Today I Simply called the New Provider to Simply Request that the Initial E-mail Simply be Resent. HOW FUKCING SIMPLE IS THAT?!! Well it was a LOT Harder to Accomplish My Goal when I had this Great Displeasure of Getting Stuck with a Complete and Utter Asshole of a Customer Service Representative.

First Off this Asshole mumbles HIs name so COMPLETELY INCOHERENTLY It Didn’t in fact sound Like He was Speaking a Language, But More like He was just making Random Guttural Animalistic Grunts. Anyway I tell Him I SIMPLY need a E-mail Resent BECAUSE I never Received it in the First fucking Place.

The Next thing I know He said He had to Look Up My Account Information which I found Rather Fucking ODD, But I gave the shit The Benefit of the Doubt. Perhaps He’d need to Verify My E-mail which seemed likely to Me. I just rather Assumed The Sales Rep. had Typed in My E-mail Address Wrong and that was SIMPLY It. While this Asshole is Allegedly looking Up My Account Info Goes Unusually Quite leaving Me to A) Wonder if the Call Got Dropped or Some Technical Issue like His Head Set took a shit, and B) Listening to the Extraneous Background Babbling of His fellow Call Center Co-Workers.

After 15 minutes of the Happy Horseshit I SIMPLY commented Out Loud that was Not a Good First Impression for a New Customer, and it seemed silly that I had to go through ALL this just to SIMPLY have an E-mail Resent. This did Not Bode Well with Customer Service Shithead, and He copped THE BIGGEST BULLSHIT ATTITUDE You’d think He was a Tween Girl who got insulted on Social Media or some Stupid shit like that.

This Prick gets all Pissy with ME all of a Sudden. Before I can even Complete My First Thought (which was What the Fuck/Who the Fuck Does this Fuckwit think He is?!! ) HE starts Lecturing Me like a Bitchy Librarian. This Shitface Informs ME that if I can’t Stop being Rude HE is Going to Terminate the Phone call.

I asked Him How Exactly was I being Rude as I wasn’t Getting Loud/Yelling, I Didn’t Insult or Threaten Him in Anyway Whatsoever, and I was using Foul/Obscene/Abusive Language. HE didn’t Answer so I SIMPLY asked the Fucknuts Again and Then Again with still No ANSWER. Finally Mr. Motherfucker speaks up Again and Suggest We Keep The Call Professional. I Reiterate My Question this Time Though asking How was I Not Being Professional?!! This Time He Babbled some bullshit Incoherently about Professionalism which to ME made Absolutely No fucking Sense At All. It seemed to be Him Vocalizing His Current Train of Though.

Once He Stops His Bout of Verbal Diarrhea I tells ME that this in Actuality ISN’T HIS DEPARTMENT. I then Fed Up as fuck asked to be Transferred to the RIGHT DEPARTMENT. And Yet Again this Shitheel coups More of an Shitty Attitude with ME as HE tells ME that HE has to Place Me on a Short Hold while He finds the fucking Number. THE FUCKFACE WORKS THERE WHY DIDN”T HE KNOW THE FUCKING NUMBER I ASK YOU?!!

I sat on fucking Hold for just Short of 5 Minutes to see if Captain Cock Lock would indeed Return. Alas He DID NOT and I SIMPLY Hung the hell up. I then Immediately Called Back, and was Helped by a Very Nice Gentlemen who Apologized for the Previous Peckerhead as well Informing ME as to How I could Locate the Information I was Looking For. Heres the fucking Kicker You can do it on Their Website with the Proper Identification Numbers which the Sales Rep. had given to ME Yesterday so Cool.

This Last Piece of Information did UTTERLY PISSED ME OFF. This Meant 1) The Asshole I felt with WASN’T evening the Right Department to Assist Me and 2) The Little Fuckflap could have just SIMPLY confirmed I had the Correct Numbers and Informed ME How to Navigate Their Site with No Problem EASY. I decided I had behaved MYSELF which is REALLY RARE Especially when I’m Confronted by Some Fuck-Sucker.

I asked the Cool Second Customer Service Rep Guy if They had a Complaint Department as I would like to Lodge a Complaint because of the Shitty way Their Employee had Behaved. He said Yes and Promptly gave it to Me. I then Ended My Call with Him and Instantly then Called The Number He gave Me. I got a rather Extensive and Elaborate Automated System which I had to Figure Out How to Circumvent It to Reach the Right Department Once Again. I managed to Contact a ACTUAL FUCKING HUMAN BEING. It was the Office Operator, and I told Her Why I was Calling, and She Directed My Phone Call Accordingly.

Once Another Very Polite Gentlemen fro H&R Picked Up I told Him I would like to Lodge a Complaint, BUT THIS TIME I had NO Intention of Biting My Tongue. He asked Me What the Complaint was so He could Write up a Official Report. In a Nutshell I SIMPLY I’m a EXTREMELY New Customer, 1st Time Calling Their Customer Service, Some Asshole Customer Service Rep. gave Me a TOTALLY SHITTY ATTITUDE, AND WHY SHOULD HIS SHITTY ATTITUDE BE MY FUCKING PROBLEM, I told Him the Guy had some fucking Nerve and the Bitch Balls to call ME Rude, Threatened to End the Call, Shit talking ABout it Not Being HIS Department, and Being Abandoned on Hold.

He of Course did His Job which was First and Foremost Appologizing for Something HE had NOTHING AT ALL to Do with which Seems Unfair to Me. I mean One Sorry is Sufficient, BUT in these Cases The Helpful Person Apologizes for the Problem Repeatedly Over and Over Again. He then of Course asked Me the Name of the Employee I Felt with, and I told Him that the Guy Mumbled it like a Motherfucker. I then Speculated this was due to the Fact this Guy is a DICK to EVERY CUSTOMER He Deals with so He’s Learned to Mumble His Name in a Feeble Attempt to NOT get Reported for Acting like an Asshole.

Too Bad for the AssFace there are SIMPLE Ways Around the Name Issue that I guess the fucking Fool forgot or more than likely NEVER even Though About. I SIMPLY asked the Question SINCE ALL CALLS ARE RECORDED for QUALITY and Training Purposes combined with the Fact I had just Talked to the Scumfuck Less than 45 Minutes ago couldn’t We find out His Name that Way. And of Course The H&R Guy said Yes thats be NO Problem and Did just that to Finish His Report.

He Apologized Once More and Assured Me the Report was Filed with His Department (H&R), and Wondered if there was Anything Else He could Assist Me with, I said No He’d been MORE than Helpful, and That was That. Problem Properly Addressed, and Solved Without Unnecessary Brutal Drama. I’m calling that a Win.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

The Darker Side of Social Absurdities.

Lets face it some(if not all) Social Norms and Conventions are just a ridiculous bunch of shit. Social Norms and Conventions are truly funny fucking things thats for sure.

I mean these are things We do without question. We don’t even think about it We just do almost on Instinct. And We don’t question Social Norms and Conventions because They have become Second Nature having been deeply ingrained in our minds brainwashing the shit out of Us since We were fucking Babies.

So then Society has Unwritten Rules about how Citizens of a Civilized Society should Behave (according to the Majority anyway.) Now if One stops to think about one of these Unwritten Rules One can see that more than most of Them Defy Logic in Their Absolute Absurdity.

Time for an Example. Heres one The Flyer/Poster Scenario. Now its likely to say most of Us have been in this position at least once in Our lives, and if not then you still definitely know what I’m talking about anyways.

Lets say You have a bunch of Flyer/Posters You want to put up for a Lost Pet or Selling a Car or Advertising an Event (Such as a County Fair or School/Church Event), and You want to Post some up in heavily trafficked areas like certain Business/Stores/Restaurants.

Now the Social Norm/Convention tells Us that if We are going to ask to hang up a Flyer/Poster at said Business/Store/Restaurants then You should buy something. Nothing Big just some small item or some bullshit before making Your formal request.

This is something that as even You Our Dear Reader having read the above are thinking:

“So why the hell should I give a shit about this post, everyone knows that. Its such commonplace knowledge that its fucking boring?!”

Well then Dearest Reader heres My Point this little Socially Structured Situation is actually quite Dark in Nature.

Allow Me to Explain if You will.

To start off with there is Business/Store/Restaurant Employee who is charge be They a Supervisor, Regional Manager, Owner, CEO, Manager, Assistant Manager, Manger of Managers or what fucking ever Their bullshit Title is.

Second You have The Citizen wishing to through up some Flyer/Poster for some Personal Reason Financial or Otherwise.

As dictated by Societal Unwritten Rules of Conduct The Citizen walks into the Establishment, and locates some minor purchase. Once the purchase is picked The Civilian promptly pays for it.

ONCE the monetary transaction is complete The Citizen makes Their request Directly to the Cashier (who may or may not refer The Citizen to “Management”) or to “Management” Themselves.

THE CITIZEN is thinking that since They bought something regardless of its size or value that the Ball is in Their Court. See No One said The Citizen couldn’t buy Their weekly groceries at said establishment before asking instead of just purchasing a Candy Bar is all I’m saying.

The Citizen perceives They have the so called advantage because that purchase is basically a fucking Bribe. Its a variation of “If You Scratch My Back I’ll Scratch Yours”, BUT in this case The Citizen has already scratched the Business’s back by buying some shit or another.

This makes the Citizen confident enough that Their request will not be denied. The Citizen figures what asshole would say no to someone who shopped at Their establishment especially if Their other Customers around, No one likes a scene and no one wants to look like the asshole.

As for The Business Representative in charge comes out and immediately sees The Citizen, AND that They have indeed made a purchase at Their Establishment.

So The Business Representative figures fuck it They have a couple free minutes so no harm in hearing The Citizen out anyways. Plus The said Citizen has also made a purchase so The Business has already banked some bucks. And letting Citizens post up Flyers/Posters or even having a Community Notice cork Board deal is GOOD PUBLIC RELATIONS which leads to more SALES.

In the end 90 plus percent of the fucking time The Citizen’s request will in fact be granted due sold to this Absurd Arrangement.

What I pointing out is this is NOT just a everyday pleasant Nicety its an exercise in Manipulation and Self Serving. Each Party has a set goal in The Citizen wants permission for Their Flyer/Poster, and the Business wants what Business want TO GET PAID. And to achieve Their goals each side uses a Accepted Social Practice of “Buy Before You Ask” to essential manipulate the situation in Their particular favor.

Moral of The Post: Think About Something Before You just Accept It as Is.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober