Tag: dating

DECORATION

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring DECORATION by London Based Writer, Director, Visual Artist, and Computer Animator Ben Wheele Who Makes What He Refers to as Surreal Horror.

SO WHO IS BEN WHEELE?

Wheele Graduated from The Royal Collage of Art with a Masters in Animation  in 2011, and His Films have been Screened at Festivals Internationally, Including Annecy, Pictoplasma, London Intl.Animation Festival, Rotterdam Film Festival and Stuttgart ITFS. Wheele’s work has also been Exhibited at The Sunday Painter Gallery (London), Gazell.io Digital Art Space, and Broadcast on Adult Swim and Channel 4 (UK). He is also the Founder of ‘Studio Ponk’ and Currently Lectures in 3D Animation and Games at Middlesex University

SO…

Like with Every Ben Wheele Video Everyone and Their fucking Mother is Working fucking Overtime to Analyze and thus Discover its Meaning (Wheele has Never Explained Any of His Work to Date). Many People have Many Thoughts about the possible Meaning Behind DECORATION some of the Most Popular are its about a Girl Hitting Puberty or a Girl getting Pregnant, or it could be that The Narrator Decoration is a Representation for Cancer. Normally I wouldn’t Criticize Those Who Hypothesize and Discuss Their Thoughts, but here’s the Thing with DECORATION. The Narrator (and Possible Internal Parasite) States QUITE FUCKING CLEARLY THAT THE VIDEO PERTAINS TO CANCER AND THAT TYPE OF CANCER BEING MOST LIKELY UTERAN CANCER. This is a Classic case of People Overthinking, Analyzing, and Hyper Tunnel Vision Desperately Searching for a Meaning that People appear to Miss the Fact that Cancer is called out by Name Case fucking Closed.

 

CREDITS:

Decoration (voice): Robert Ashby
Music: Jane Chapman
Charles Mauleverer
J.P Rameau
Sound:
Giulia Scarantino
Mike Wyeld
Assistant Colourist: Ada Polcyn
Production: Royal College of Art, 2011 ©

 

It is What it Is,

   Presented By Les Sober   

Creeptoons Video Dating 1 and 2

Welcome to this Wednesday’s Post CREEPTOONS VIDEO DATING By None Other Than Creeptoons. I have a special infinity for this Video due to it’s Old School Throw Back Theme to the 1980’s Oddity known as Video Dating. I can Identify with the Theme simply because I’m Old as Fuck and grew up with what is Now Considered Primitive Caveman Technology in this case VCRS/VHS Cassette . Anyway there is a bit of Explaining to do for Those who aren’t aware of the reference so here goes.

You see before Computers gave Birth to the Internet, and the Internet subsequently giving Birth to Social Media the World of Video Dating was Far fucking Different than it is Nowadays. Before Dating Sites like Match.com (or Slick Dating Apps with Their Swipe Lefts and Rights) Video Dating was based on Much More Archaic Tech in the VCR and VHS Video Cassettes. You see back before even DVDs were Invented Dating was a Grueling Grind. Without Today’s Dating Connivence Technology People had to Actually leave Their fucking House, Drive to a Physical Location, and Meet People Face To Face. Now the Only Options Outside of literally going out and Searching for Someone to Connect were Personal Ads and Video Dating.

                   

The Personal Ads were Sort of Shady like Today’s Craiglist, Completely Impersonal ,Basic as Fuck, and Considered More or Less a fucking Joke. Then came the VCR and a whole New Avenue in the Dating World was Born. There were Video Dating Business where Someone Unlucky in Love could Go and Record a Short Dating Video Testimonial. In Their Video People would Talk Directly to the Camera about All the Cliche Dating Happy Horseshit. You know like What Their Looking for in a Significant Other, Their Likes/Dislikes, Jobs, Hobbies Blah Blah Blah Bullshit.

The the Agency would then Circulate the Dating Videos around Their Other Clientele looking for a Possible Match. Clients would be Supplied with an Assortment of Dating Video Selections by the Video Dating Company that They could watch in the Comfort of Their Own Home. If indeed Their was a Person Who’s Video Someone Else liked Theyd Tell the Video Dating Service, and the Video Dating Service would approach the Person in Question to see if an Actual Real World Date could be Arranged. Video Dating Services were Basically the Pimps of Dating back in those Days. If You think Video Dating back n the day was Absurd, Asinine, Odd, and Insane You’d be Exactly fucking Right.

Plot: CVDS (Creeptopia’s Video Dating Service) Connecting Creeptopia’s sexiest singles “One Creep at a Time” using the latest in VHS technology.

Creeptoons Video Dating Episode 2

Plot: Here’s a second batch of bachelors and bachelorettes. CVDS (Creeptopia Video Dating Service) is committed to connecting Creeptopia’s sexiest singles.

Thanks For Watching,

   Presented By Les Sober  

No One Care What The Hell You Had For Lunch.

Social Media has been a crucial tool since its creation that has Contributed to the Ever Growing Societies’s  Egotistical Idiocy. Tech has/had unlimited potential, But People became Addicted to Social Media and its False Sense of Importance. People actually think ANYONE gives a flying fuck what They had for Lunch?! Yet People Post Pictures of Their Lunch likes its the most Awe Inspiring Event of Their fucking Lives.

The One Aspect in the Social Media’s Dumbing Down of America that’s Never Mentioned is the Personal “Status Updates” that People love to Use like there’s No Tomorrow (Facebook being the Number one Offender). You know what I’m talking about it’s those Pre Written Idle Bullshit like “Linda is Loving Life”, “Matt is at Starbucks”, or “Phil changed His Relationship Status to It’s Complicated.” that Users have come to Rely on.

              

Again Who fucking Cares How You Feel every Minute of the Goddamn Day?! You’re Not Nearly That Special. That’s the trick of Social Media it makes You feel far more Important than You actually Ever will be in all likelihood.

It’s the Utter Distain and Unfathomable Contempt for such Social Media Drivel is the Reason I have created a New (More Honest and Way More Realistic) List Status Updates. Enjoy.

  • Barry is Currently having Wild Sex with a Goat.
  • Louis is Busy Cooking Meth
  • Chuck is watching Hardcore German Porn.
  • Dave has Explosive Diarrhea.
  • Warren is Donating Sperm Again.
  • Linda is Hungover as Hell and Projectile Vomiting.
  • Francis is Window Shopping on Amazon like an Asshole.
  • Quinn is Writing Erotic Stories about a Nun and an Alter Boy.
  • Rex is considering a Career as a Urologist.
  • Aron is a Closet Nazi.

              

  • Gill is Bidding on an Antique Chastity Belt on eBay.
  • Luke is Ordering a Mail Order Bride from Croatia.
  • Marry is Doomsday Prepping for the Apocalypse.
  • Richard is Googling How to Preform an At Home Prostate Exam.
  • Will is Surfing the Dark Web for a Hitman.
  • Jerry is Busy Manscaping.
  • Blair is having a Heavy Flow Day.
  • Arnold Believes Pimping Ain’t Easy.
  • Kelly just woke up in a Pool of Her Own Vomit.
  • Zelda is Wondering Why Animal Assholes and the Opening is Soda Lids look the Same.

              

  • Brittany just tried Anal Sex for the First Time.
  • Valerie is Waxing Everything.
  • Billy is Ordering Asian Sex Toys Online.
  • Beth is Considering getting into Porn.
  • Shelby is Eating a Shit Sandwich.
  • Florence is working on Her New Fuzzy Costume for The Furry Ball.
  • Steve is Tripping Balls on Some Insane Blotter Acid.
  • Francine is Getting Furiously Finger Fucked.
  • Larry is imagining what it’s like to Titty Fuck Bob’s Man Boobs.
  • Rick just made an Appointment to get His Taint Tattooed.=

              

  • Carl can’t Handle is Booze.
  • Scott Tried Smoking Crack and Loved it.
  • Alice took a Massive Shit and is Looking at it Now.
  • Nick is Writing Shit on a Bathroom Wall.
  • Gill is refilling His Prescription for Viagra at The Pharmacy.
  • Travis is making All Natural Hand Made Tampons for His Wife.
  • Racheal is Learning How to Taxidermy and Practicing on Roadkill.
  • Sam is practicing making Balloon Animals Using His Dick.
  • Zander Enjoys Hot Sauce Enemas.
  • Albert is a Colonicholic.

              

  • Alice is starting a Flea Circus due to a Vaudeville Fetish.
  • Blair Farted and it smells like She Needs a Proctologist.
  • Stan just Shit Himself standing in Line at a Fast Food Restaurant.
  • Ralph is Thinking of Purchasing a High End Sex Doll for Christmas.
  • Stella is Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor behind WaWa.
  • Freddy is Attending a Family Reunion Where He’s the Creepy Uncle.
  • Stacy still Wets the Bed Weekly.
  • Benny was Banging an Inflatable Sex Doll and it Exploded Blowing off Both His Balls.
  • Nina is becoming Sexually Aroused watching Animals have Sex in a Nature Documentary.
  • Walt is Listening to Anal Cunt’s Greatest Hits.

              

  • Trent is Reading the Current Copy of Guns & Ammo at His Grandmother’s Funeral
  • Tiffany is Coated Head to Toe in KY Jelly.
  • Robbie is Wondering if Sex with a 3rd Cousin Removed Constitutes Incest.
  • Ken is Hiring a Prostitute.
  • Karen is Scoring Drugs Right Now in a Shitty Neighborhood.
  • Eddie is on Psychedelics and Hiding from a Plate of French Fries.
  • Bart just lost a Staring Contest with a Bowl of Oatmeal.
  • Dominic is Sucking off the Band Hanson Backstage.
  • Annie is Considering getting into Fisting.
  • Paula is having Sex in a Coffin to see if Necrophilia is for Her.

              

  • Vivian is Popping Pain Killers and Downing Them with Whiskey.
  • Holly is Polishing Her Nipple Clamp Collection.
  • Herbert is a German Cannibal.
  • Taylor is paying for Collage with the Money He made in Porn as a Stunt Cock.
  • Ryan is Measuring His Dick.
  • Stewart is trying to Figure Out if occasionally peeking at Another Man’s Pecker at the Urinal makes Him Gay.
  • Tiffany is Bleaching Her Asshole because She’s about to get Back into the Dating World.
  • Gary is Cat fishing His Sister.
  • Olga Thinks Hand Jobs are Outdated.
  • Jillian has a Habit of Humping the Homeless.

           

  • Bart got His Dick Stuck in a Swedish Penis Pump.
  • Becky thinks Lindsey Her Best Friend is kinda of a Cunt.
  • Eloise is on the Way to the Emergency Room with a Ruptured Breast Implant.
  • Diana has a Surgically Reconstructed Asshole.
  • Ari is getting Botox Treatments for His Scrotum Wrinkles.
  • Peter is walking His Dog and Watching as it Takes a Shit.
  • Deloris just crapped so Hard She Prolapsed Her Asshole.
  • Sue is Sniffing Glue getting a White Trash High.
  • Dale is making Wind Chimes out of Natty Ice Cans to Sell in the Local Trailer Parks.
  • Gabby Ate Her Inner Child.

                

  • Henry is Growing Shitty Ditch Weed in His Attic.
  • Donovan is in Reddit Chats while Wearing His Grandmother’s Underwear.
  • Jake shot a Man just to Watch Him Die, But Got Distracted and Missed it.
  • Reese got His Dick Stuck in a Chinese Finger Trap He won at the County Fair.
  • Lucy is in Love with an Alcoholic Carnie that reminds Her of Her Dad.
  • Reggie is walking around is House looking for Things He can Use to Improvise a Cock Ring.
  • Selma had Her Stomach Pumped just for the Experience.
  • Trina is Reading About Historic Safe Sex Methods/Practices.
  • Brittany is having Her 17th Abortion.
  • Oliver May Have Been Abducted by Aliens and Extensively Anal Probed.

              

Thanks For Reading,

  By Les Sober

(Posted @ 1:37am)

Chances

My phone rang one desolate, dank, and cold evening.

She asked for Carlos.

I told her she had the wrong number.

She called back.

She called back a third time.

   

My jack and coke told me that I was bored.

So we talked.

For thirty minutes.

A strange girl and myself.

I don’t talk to strange women.

Women have cooties.

       

So we went on a date. It was rather bizarre. A date with a woman. We met. She was a pretty girl, but I think I was just being nice when I told her this. She liked pixie sticks and newports. I had both of these in my pocket at the time as well. We hit it off somewhat. We saw a movie. Then sanity kicked in and I  never saw her again.

This was the ultimate chance meeting. I wanted to say I went out with my wrong number girl. If I was bi, I would have gotten in her pants so I could say I have sex with people that dial the wrong number. But I had already pilfered my friends phone line one day and made dates with six different guys who were actually calling him. My phone booth whore days have long since vanished.

       

GOOD VS. EVIL

Some chances we take have results not always visible to the naked eye. We take a chance on lending a friend money. Let say $500. That person promises to pay us back but everytime we ask them for our money the subject is changed. We hear about their abusive boyfriend, we hear about how expensive gas is, we hear about their drunken sister.

Then we suddenly remember this person is single. Then we remember gas is like a buck fifty a gallon. Then we recall they don’t have a sister.

So we stop asking.

         

We try not to harm the friendship in this person’s mind even though they might be harming it in ours but not making any attempts to pay us back. They don’t seem to have much of a consciousness or a soul when it comes to these things. Then you think for a second that you are being too harsh. Then you find out another friend of yours lent this person money and never saw a dime of it either.

Several weeks pass by. You have a few drinks at your friend’s house and fall asleep on the couch. In the morning you part ways and find your wallet to be short a few bills. You go home. You wonder what to say. Whether to say anything. What you say is ignored. So you keep silent.

     

Then we go off into the night.

Then we try and forget this person existed.

We hear rumors about their plight.

We hear sordid fairy tales, most likely a melody of facts and fables, everywhere we turn.

We wonder what went wrong, why we took such a chance on them.

Why couldn’t he have been honest? Why can’t we tell the truth and be honest for once?

 

BLACKMAIL

I like the way you look at me.

I like the way you brush your hair.

I think your eyes are a glimpse into heaven.

I know you had sex in your car last night. I am going to rat your ass out.

 Yup sometimes we are lucky little ones and aren’t always the ones with our hand caught in the cookie jar. We catch other people’s hands in the cookie jar quite often too. I was involved in one of these situations before. Well shit I seem to have been involved in many of these situations, who am i kidding?.

Sometimes all we have to do is shut up and listen. You can hear drama from quite a distance.

        

All of the thoughts in my head told me to go for the money. Extort! Extort! Extortitionaaayyyy! I need a vacation I thought to myself. I chose to have a conscience. I laughed about it with the dude, who was the “other woman”. The months worth of laughter provided much more valuable than any payment plans.Chance provided a good chuckle.

CONCLUSIONAIRE

We all take chances. Sometimes they take us.

We have the power in ourselves to determine the final outcome.

Time may have had its way with you.

Time may be your best friend.

        

But when the time comes to make your mark.

Will you actually take that chance you have been dying to take your whole life?

Or will you let time have its way with you and regret those leaps of faith?

Those chances you can’t take back.

Those choices that beckon forth your reaper. 

I simply call him Dismay.

  By SpaceDog

System Recovery

If you had a button to press in your life where you could go back to any different point, where would you go???? Who would you be with??? Where would you be going???

I’ve thought about this one quite a bit because of a dream I had today. It was really devoid of almost all detail. It was me and 3 other people whose faces I could not see running through a field.

In the past, I would have thought that these 3 people were some of the men I’ve dated, had relationships with from my past. At other times I thought these were people from the future. But the more I think about it and realize it does not matter where they come from.
It is just a dream and the main thing behind it is the happiness, the feeling of carefree, not trying to analyze the who/what/where/whens of the situation.

I do not know where I would push this button because every person who has crossed my path, well if I thought of them they each would have their own button in my heart. The only people whose buttons would intercept would be 2 hot guys from a threesome or people whom I had only met at a concert or on vacation. The people closest to me and my soul and my being and my heart well…….

There would be no one place….there would be innumerate multiple places.

I mean sure for selfish reasons, I might choose to go back to a place where I had tons of money or I had naivety in love. These might not be satisfying to me now though because everything changes. I’m sure if I could go back to when I was 18 I probably would bitch slap myself and start screaming, “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU???!!!”. That actually might be fun as long as I didn’t scar the future me that is currently writing this schlep.

Honestly though this is probably a cop out but I would go back to one of my favorite concerts of all time (there have been several) and I would bring all of my closest friends throughout the years. And they would all get along. And run across the fields in bliss. It would be just like my dream. Only with audio.

 By SpaceDog