Devil – f-your blog

I Have The Body Of A Pig

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring I HAVE THE BODY OF A PIG Filmed by a Paranormal Research Group in England Several Years Ago. Now I’m NOT Saying I fucking Believe in Ghosts, Devils, Spirits, or Demons because I DON’T in My Opinion there is NO ACTUAL EVIDENCE of Their Existence.. On the Other Hand there is NO ACTUAL PROOF that They do Not Outside the Self Righteous Ignorance and Ego Driven Human fucking Being. You see ever since Man Climbed to the Top of the fucking Food Chain We suddenly Think that Means We Automatically know Everything about fucking Everything. I Refuse to Buy into that Bullshit. I’ll Stick with Socrates on the Subject of Humanity’s Self Righteous Ego Driven False Belief of Intellectual Superiority when I say “I Don’t Know Shit.”

Description: Truly frightening EVP recorded in a secret location during my tenure as special guest and resident expert with a group that I cannot name. My association with the group ended due to reasons I cannot legally disclose.
But, as I am the bigger man, I wish them well.

My Thoughts: I already Covered the Paranormal Aspect above, BUT I still have Quite a Bit to Say About the fucking Description that’s fr Sure. I hate shit that starts “Truly Frighting” it’s a Bullshit Attention Grabber that Means Jack Diddly Shit. If Something is Frightening it’s Frightening there should be NO Need to Say Stupid Shit like “Truly Terrifying” because What Scares the Shit out of You may Not Scare Me in the fucking Least and all that. Second How the fuck can this Person be BOTH s Special Guest and a Resident Expert since Special Guests are Temporary per say and a Resident is a Long Term Group Member so that’s an Oxymoron. Next What the fuck was this Person a so called “Expert” in Exactly Ghost Hunting, Camera Person, Tech Shit, Demonologist, Medium or What the Fuck?!

Why EXACTLY can’t this Person Mention that They Can’t Mention the Name of the Paranormal Group How About some fucking Details. Now Why the Fuck couldn’t this Person Say Why Their Association (I thought They were a Resident Expert in/of the group?!) with Said Paranormal Group? They Claim it’s for Legal Reasons well isn’t that fucking Conveenant since the Whole Description is Vague as it could Possibly be with Total Lack of Any Context or Details of Any Sort whatsofuckingever. Lastly Ironically is the Pompous fucking Last Line in/of the Description about being the Bigger Man. Adding that is a COMPLETE DICK MOVE. How do We know this Person isn’t a Fuck Up, Basket Case, Liar, Bullshit Artist, A Fake/Fraud, YouTube View Whore, A Totally fucking Moron, or just Plain making shit up?!!

Maybe that’s Why This Particular Person’s Association with the Group Ended was Due to the Fact The GROUP Ended the Association. In All Due Favor it could be due Possibility to this Person’s Possible Shitty Attitude or Perhaps They were just a Crappy Paranormal Hunter. If This Person actually does “Wish Them Well” then Why the fuck did They Bother Turning the Entire Description into Personal Bitching?! The Description really has jack shit to do with the Video itself and is about The Group, The Person who Posted the Video’s Association or Lack there of with Said Group, and the Alleged Legal Bullshit Aspect is My Point. They could have Written the Decription WITHOUT MENTIONING any of that Happy Personal Horse Shit. Well that’s All I had to Say So I Digress (for Now anyways).

It is What it Is,

Presented By Les Sober

Cartoon Kid’s Show Plummets Into The Depths Of Hell

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring “…ø·ø ̈ùšù„ø© … ø£øoù†ùšø” in its Abbreviated Version Whatever the fuck that Supposed to Mean. Well it Means dick since the Video’s Title is Intentional Gibberish. It’s a Neat Little Trick to Beat YouTube’s Algorithm (so Technically People can see it, BUT it can Slip under the Algorithm’s Radar to Avoid being Penalized or Removed).

Here’s What We Know:

The Video is Posted on a TINY fucking YouTube Channel called Distressing_Demon.
The Channel was Started March 4, 2019
The Channel has a Mere 113 Subscribers.
The Channel has a Total of 8 fucking Videos.
The Channel has Amassed a Total of 46,327 Views.
The First 6 Videos on the Channel are Bullshit Game Play (Not that Game Play Videos are Bad buts These are fucking GARBAGE).
The 7th Video is the One Posted Here Below.
The 8th and Final Video has an Ominous Title like” God will Hate You for This” or some bullshit, BUT its 19 seconds of POV Video Game Play where the Character is simply Walking down a Dark fucking Hallway. I told You these Game Play Videos Sucked a Blue Whale Sized Taint.

Notes:

A Question One could ask is Did Distressing_Demon make this Video, and I can Safely Assume the Answer is Hell fucking No. It’s more than Likely Something the Channel Creator Found and Reposted which is Usually the Case especially with Predominately Game Play Channels that for No Rhyme or Reason have some Bizarre Video Tossed in the Mix.
Whoever did Create this Video need to Learn How to fucking Edit Properly. The Beginning is WAY Too Long for this Sort of Video Genre You know the Fucked Up, Unexplained, or Mysterious Shit. SO with that Said I suggest You Start watching the Video at the 40 Second Mark.

It is What it Is,

Presented By Les Sober

REAL DEMONS CAUGHT ON TAPE

Welcome to Today’s FYB Post featuring REAL DEMONS CAUGHT ON TAPE. A Clip from this Video (The Arms coming Down from the Ceiling) has been Used in an Extensive Amount of The Unexplained/Mystery Videos and Random Weird Shit Fringe Videos Genres. Here is the Original Video in its Entirety which Includes The “Minion” Hands Under the Door, Arms Protruding from the Ceiling , the Arms coming out of the Wall, and Some fucking Sort of Demon Creature Sue-do Jump Scare. I would like to State for the fucking Record that Jump Scares are a Cheap fucking Gimmick, and that’s been Over Used to the Point of fucking Extreme Overkill.

Now First Things First and I think it’s fucking Safe to Say that this Video is Obviously Fake as fuck which in Reality isn’t a fucking Deal Breaker. While the Video is a Work of Absolute Fiction the Special Effects in it are Cool as Shit and Rather Impressive considering the Video came out Circa 2009. Seriously REAL DEMONS CAUGHT ON TAPE is around just a mere Minute and Thirty-nine Seconds, AND it’s Still Better then the Entire fucking Paranormal Activity Franchise Hands fucking Down. And if I’m doing Comparisons it Personally Reminds Me of the George A. Romero’s Zombie Movie Classic DAY OF THE DEAD. DAY OF THE DEAD contains a Scene where Zombie Arms come through a Hallway’s Walls to Attack One of the Main Characters.

BOTTOM LINE: All in All REAL DEMONS CAUGHT ON TAPE is Creative, Imaginative, Well Done, and Entertaining as fuck and I think that about some it the fuck Up.

It is What it is,

Presented By Les Sober

Creepy Shit From The Dark Web: MOM.avi

This Little Bit of Creepy Footage was Allegedly Found Lurking Somewhere on The Dark Web.

The Video Starts with Someone Switching Off a Light Switch, and then the Viewer Can See a Humanoid Creature Barely Visible sitting in Almost Pitch Blackness. There is Absolutely No fucking Context Here so What is Going On and What it May Be are Limited Only by Your Own Imagination. Was The Creature a Ghoul, Ghost, Mutant, Monster, Alien, Devil, Demon, Inter Dimensional Being, or a Person Person Who the Hell Knows.

Enjoy.

Thanks For Watching,

Presented By Les Sober

Textonics : Another Peak Behind The Curtin of Absurdity

Yes you guessed it here is another text conversation between SpaceDog and Yours Truly discussing doing a joint post using a technique known as “Bible Dipping” (want to know wtf that is then wait for the post or just Goggle the fuck out of it.

Without Further Adu TEXTONICS!

SpaceDog: Yeah kind of funny how the hospital is like the top place to catch shit. They should have a separate entrance for sick people at the hospital and clean them up in one of those chambers like they do in the movies. True True. Do you possess one or both bibles? I think i have a new testament around here somewhere but generally speaking that shit is way too cheerful.

Les: Fuck yeah a decontamination shower. I actually have a few versions of the bible ironically. Thats because people (even me believe that shit or not) get weirded out by ditching a bible even if they donate it to like fucking Good Will or some shit like that. I have a biblical text thats a whole bible dedicated to Revelations. Really grim shit. We should definitely use it for the Devil’s end of the Q&A.

SpaceDog: Speaking of Satan, they brought back sabrina the teenage witch and she’s satanic now. lol. Oh yeah thats like grizzly new T. i was thinking of psalms they are all cheery i read them like 20 times when i was in jail.

Les: Holy Shit I saw that shit on Netflix’s New Line Up and thought of the old original show, BUT I had no fucking idea that Sabrina had gone Satanic. I mean Sabrina was on fucking Nickelodeon for fucks sake. So how do you go from a Kids Network to Being Sabrina and Satan she being all down with the Devil. PSALMS READ IN JAIL! Fucking Fabulous. Just read your latest posts and I have to say they are rather Awesome. Very cool indeed.

SpaceDog: Haha thanks i have to finish part 2 later tonight before i forget what the hell i was talking about.

Les: Hear you there. I have a few backlogged posts but had to have surgery number fucking 2 for this year so I was sore as shit and whacked out on a combo of Pot and Percocet. Come to think of it I wish I could have written then because that shit would be far fucking out.

SpaceDog: Damn what surgery u have? It Help?

Les: One of My asshole Doctors wanted an insurance policy since I have a bum ticker. So 2 weeks ago I had a Out Patient Procedure done at this Hospital thats Great accept I fucking despise it like taxes. I hope the surgery helps since the procedure was done in case as my Doctor put it “You try and Die on Us again.” So my shoulder was all jacked the fuck up felt like a tried to tackle an 18 wheeler. Lmfao.

SpaceDog: Well thats good my grandfather had that shit done and was right for as long as i can remember so like 30 years maybe? I tried to have surgery but my Doctor talked me out of it. Have something going on with my neck/shoulder area. I forget what the hell she called it.

Les: Damn a Doctor who doesn’t recommend surgery??? Now thats fucking Crazy as Shit.

SpaceDog: She said the scar would be worse. Idk will reevaluate after i drop weight and find myself staring at myself in the mirrors and not avoiding them like the plague.

Les: Reevaluating is always a good fucking idea, I mean thats what second opinions are made of. I need to drop weight myself. Doing good but then there was the Italy deal and then the Surgical Procedure. I need to get the fuck going again and all that happy horse shit.

SpaceDog: The guy currently dating brittany spears dropped 100 lbs in 6 months by doing 2 hours at the gym every morning. Im not exactly sure what i would do there for 2 hours. Even if i stretch out cardio and weight lifting i can only hit 80-90 minutes. What bout the other 30? Free Handjobs? Fake tanning bed? Arguing with the desk staff about something completely irrelevant? The arguing one is always fun especially when you intend to make zero sense.

Les: Brittany Spears is still relevant?! Yeah a 2 hour block in a fucking gym is a stretch but thats why they have personal fucking trainers I suppose. Arguing nonsense is AWESOME and a GREAT past time/ hobby too. Dunno about the extra 30 minutes time killer-filler but you got some good ideas. There a gym in the next town 8 miles down the road. Its a prefab building that houses you basic gym equipment, no contracts, no pressure, no trendy juice bar, no mirrored walls, no TVs, and no staff at all. Fucking Love It. They give you a key once you track down the owner and then you can go anytime you want as much as you want. You just let yourself in whenever ya wanna hump iron.

SpaceDog: Sounds like the old gym i belonged to. It was 24 hrs had a key card, i think the staff left at 6 pm something crazy early. Had to drop that shit because they decided that when they left they would shut off the air conditioning off also. Urge Fitness i guess as in i have to urge to murder these assholes. Owner must be some road head likes to cuss people out in their yelp reviews which is why i review shit anonymously. Cuz i only review some nasty shit. Lol. Like your fucks. I agree sarah Sanders deserves 2 separate fucks. Also i have 3 to add: Fuck Steve Harvey. FUCK BIXBY. FUCK CORTANA. ( those are the rip roaring shitting alexis/siri clones on samsung and windows respectively. Bit/Cortana compared to alexis/siri is like sleazy hollow vs the ritz carlton. Im going to bed i think i will survive one more day without finishing blog. Here’s something to keep u busy. U have to enter for the Mama Mia socks i did lmfao.

Les: They cut the AC thats some real bullshit there the douche bags. Urge is for Assholes LMFBO! Roid Rage the Struggle is REAL. Steroids shrink your balls and gives you bitch tits. I can add the additional fucks tomorrow just gotta edit them in there. Double Fuck(ed). Come to think I may just use your fucks to start off a Part 2. LMFAOMFRS!

***Thats all for this time around kiddies.***

Thanks for Reading

, Les Sober and SpaceDog

God & Satan Enemies Of A Different Color

Preface: Most people know the story of God casting Satan from Heaven because Satan wanted to take control of Heaven.

It all started when God got bored and created people to entertain him (the original reality t.v.) which pissed off more than a few Angels due to their jealousy of God’s infatuation with his new creations.
Satan was not only an Angel he was the Angel of Light effectively he was God’s right hand man. Satan gathered a group of like minded angels bound together by their hate of humanity and God’s preferential treatment of people. Once Satan had assembled his crew they picked a fight with God by trash talking Humans, a fight that Satan lost.
God banished Satan (along with his traitorous posse) from heaven.
BUT GOD DID NOT BANISH SATAN TO HELL. God decided if Satan hated man more than anything then Satan’s punishment was to walk among man for eternity.
From this point out God and Satan were deemed to be immortal enemies clashing in a constant war of conflict as each tries to win more souls than the other.

The Question: Now I have read the Bible and I like most have a few questions. The first and foremost I question the relationship between God and Satan as far as the traditional belief. As I stated earlier in #5 God and Satan are supposed to be the ultimate foes, yet in the Bible there seems to be a good bit of dialogue between God and Satan. This alone strikes me as odd considering their intense and eternal war of good versus evil after Satan got his ass evicted from his Heavenly home.

The best example in my mind of God and Satan’s rather unorthodox relationship lies in the story of Job. Here is a brief run down summation of the story of Job as told by me (Less Sober).

One day God and Satan (post battle for Heaven) were hanging out together which seems to me like a mighty oxymoron. Why would God and Satan hangout together if their such intense enemies that they actually went to war against one another?

While God and Satan are lallygagging about God starts to brag a good bit about his follower Job and how much Job loves God with undying loyalty. Satan decides to bust God’s balls a bit about this oh so holy and devoted Job guy. Satan makes a side comment to God that its totally obvious the only reason Job gives a shit about God is because Job has a sweet life. Job had a big house, a lot of land, a wife, tons of kids and a productive farm, BUT if Job didn’t have all the perks then he’d abandon God flat out.

Now this conversation seems to follow suit with the relationship described in the Bible between the two Deities, God says something positive and Satan then undermines it with negativity. HOLD ON MY FRIENDS This Is Where It Gets Really Weird.

God decides based on what Satan said to make a bet. YES IT WAS GOD who made the bet WITH SATAN. In some versions of this story some of the faithful claim Satan proposed the bet to God, but sadly no it was all God’s idea.

The bet is this: God allows open hunting season on Job enabling Satan to do whatever horribly wicked shit he could think of to torment Job. If Job remains loyal to God in spite of all the suffering Satan rains down upon him God wins, but if Job succumbs to Satan’s vile endeavorers then simply Satan wins.

Satan then proceeds to run shop on Job. Satan kills all of Jobs crops, kills all of his animals, all of Job’s servants, burns his house down, and kills all of Job’s sons and daughters while they ate together. Job remains standing God.

Round Two Satan struck Job with sores from head to toe. Here Job’s wife does something strange she tells Job to CURSE God and then die. Its the dying part that confuses me because why would she want her husband dead considering Satan killed the rest of the family at this point. Anyway I digress. Job for his credit did not curse God nor did he die, but he did at one point wonder why his God was allowing all this foul shit to happen to him, and at one point even asks God to let him die (assumedly to avoid further torture). Job through it all sticks by God and remains faithful by not sinning in cursing God.

God immediately declares himself the victor to Satan, and then shoots down to Earth to tell Job to shut up and stop asking questions for God works in mysterious ways.

In Summation allow me to state my opinion on the story/subject matter at hand. This is how I see it in all honesty. It appears to me that instead of being eternal enemies God and the Satan had a more personal relationship (as opposed to one ruling Heaven and the other Hell completely independent of one another). To me its more like two best friends who started a business together and the business started to flourish making all involved very happy. Then one friend makes an executive decision about staffing without consulting his friend and partner first. This leads to resentment, tension, stress and anxiety plaguing the friendship driving the two friends apart. Finally one of the friends has had enough and attempts a hostile takeover of the company only to fail, and thus the partnership dissolves spectacularly along with the friendship over an argument on how the company should be run. As the years pass the two friends begin to reconnect yet both are still pissed about their falling out as each blames the other for their failed friendship. Though God and Satan don’t ever reconcile they form a new love-hate relationship because though they had a shitty falling out their friendship out weighs the one vicious fight over difference of opinion.