doctor – f-your blog

Man Or Beast Both Have Nipples: A Tale Of The Stupidity Of Humanity

There Countless times a Day I wonder How the fuck some People can/are so fucking Stupid that They’re the reason the Saying “Too Stupid to Live” exists in the First fucking Place. This particular Saying Pertains to People so Horribly fucking Stupid it’s Amazing They haven’t inadvertently Done Themselves in by Simple Being so fucking Stupid. This is a Story about One of these Monumentally Moronic People and Sad to Say it’s Not only True, But the Client Depicted in the Story is an Actual fucking Person.

Allow Me to Set the fucking Stage. I had been working as a Vet Tech (a Vet Tech is to a Veterinarian as a Nurse is to a Human Doctor) for 16 Years before I started working for a Notoriously Unconventional Vet. I should have known what the fuck I was getting into Since My Wife had worked for this Vet Previously. After Several Years along with some a SERIOUSLY Insane Situation (which is a Whole Different Story for another Day) My Wife Ended up Quitting, and taking a Job at a Local Animal Shelter’s Veterinary Clinic. Now being an Unconventional Person Myself I got along quite well with this Veterinarian Who We will call Dr. Rich for all intents and purposes. Basically I don’t want the Guy to find out about this Post and taking Legal Action Against Me. Trust Me Stranger shit has Happened in Life, and He is a Strange Guy.

Lastly the Shittiest Part of being a Vet Tech isn’t Dealing with Patients which is rather Complicated from the Get Go. What I mean is Animal Patients obviously Can’t Talk (Parrots Excluded of Course for Vets who Treat Exotic Animals as Most Don’t) so They can’t Explain What Hurst or Where it Hurts or Any Symptoms Period. In All Honesty the Worst fucking Part of Working in a Veterinary Clinic/Hospital like I said isn’t the 4 Legged Patients it’s Their 2 Legged Owners. In General Not only are Owners various Levels of Problematic They can also be Outright Assholes. Here is a Quick Example for You. A Man came in and Signed Off on His Dog’s Neutering as well as all the Bells and Whistles.

It’s Important to Point Out that Dr. Rich being Unconventional didn’t Require such things as Pre Surgical X-rays for Dentals for Example though He stated His Opinion that it could never Hurt to do Pre Surgical Shit such as Pre Surgical Bloodwork. After that He left it up to the Owner’s Digression Especially since Money is a Major Factor as is Anything fucking Medical. Now when the Time came for this Dumb Son of a Bitch to Pick Up His Dog and Pay His Bill He proceeded to have a Full Blown Shit Fit about it. The thing is the Client had NO REASON to Complain because the Dumbfuck never ASKED how Much it would Cost before He went ahead and Authorized Everything. On Top of the Shithead arguing Over His goddamn Bill Dr. Rick worked in a VERY Wealthy Area which made things Even More Aggravating as fuck.

You see 90% of the Clients were Empty Headed, Day Drinking, Plastic Surgery Enhanced, Botox Junkie Trophy Wives Devoid of Intelligence and Personality alike. I’m not fucking Joking when I say there was a Neighborhood where if You bought a House for $750,000 Your Neighbors would think/say shit like “Poor You, You can only afford to buy a House for $750,000.” behind Your back. That and I’ll NEVER forget this Bratty Wealth Flaunting for Clout Stupid Bitch Who came in to Pick Up Flea and Tick shit for Her Dog. After Paying She lingered around like a fucking Stank Ass Fart so She could Talk about How Rich She Was (which is a fucking Joke since Eery last goddamn Dollar She Spent wasn’t Earned by Her but Her Husband again These are Trophy Wives or Eye Candy for Cash). Anyway She’s Bitching that Her Husband wanted the Credit Card Company American Express to give Her one of Their Elitest of the Elite Black AmEx. If You Don’t know about the Mysterious AmEx Black Card You’re Not the Only one by Far. Simply put You can’t Apply for One AmEx has to give You One since to get One You have to Spend a MINIMUM of $250,000 a Year using it.

Lastly on the Subject of Exceptional Assholes was a Woman who was buying Dog Food who was standing behind another woman who was paying Her Bill. The Entire Time the Woman in front is Paying the Lady standing behind Her started gawking at the Woman’s Obscene Wedding Ring sporting a Grotesque Diamond. Long Story short the Two Women started a Heated Clout Debate over Who’s Ring was Better and what Their Rings were Worth. This was an utterly Pointless Situation started by One Rich Asshole just to Talk shit to Another Rich Asshole. Finally it’s worth Noting that the Sickeningly Extravagant Diamonds in those (and Other) Rings are Worth so Much that Rich Assholes have Them removed and Store Them in a Bank Safety Deposit Box. The Actual Real Diamonds are Replaced with Usually High End Crystal.

I think its Safe to Say that We all Know Wealthy People are Monumental Motherfuckers.They think because They have Money Everyone Else should give Them whatever the fuck They Want Whenever They want it. Money may be the Root of All Evil, but it Also the Great Stupefier of Humanity since as Soon as Someone gets Rich Their IQ’s Lower and They increasingly Act like Total Entitled Asshole that We have All come to Hate. These are the Kind of Assholes that Recoil at the word “No” because They’re so used to People kissing Their Asses enabling Them to act like They have No Idea that No is an Actual Word. Lastly I’ll add that when it comes to Difficult Clients the Veterinary Clinics/Hospitals have a Code for them which is PIA. PIA is Reserved for Habitual Crappy Clients, and Stands for “Pain In The Ass” so if You happen to see this written on the inside of Your Pet’s File best to Reevaluate Your fucking Life.

On this Particular Day one of Our PIA Clients called Frantic about Her Dog. She wasn’t an Outright Asshole She was just so God Awful Stupid that it made Dealing with Her feel like Pulling fucking Teeth. I will simply Refer to Her as Moronic Mary for the Rest of this Post. I asked Her what the Problem with Her Dog was and She said the Following. “I was watching Talkshows while I was Petting My Dog. I rubbed His Belly and I felt a Bunch of Little Lumps, and I Don’t Know if Their Insect Bites or Tumors Do You think My Dog has Cancer?” At this Point I had to Remind Her that I wasn’t the Actual Vet and even if I was I can’t Diagnosis Her Dog over the fucking Phone. This only served to get Her more fucking manic then She already was. I informed Her that luckily We had a Cancelation for an Afternoon Appointment and I would gladly Pencil Her In. She then damn well Demanded to have Her Dog seen IMMEDIATELY! She Fully Expected Us to Drop whatever We were Doing, and Clear the Vet’s Schedule for the Day to Dedicate 100% of Everyone’s Attention on Her Dog and Her Dog Alone. Moronic Mary Tried Again and Again Futilely to Force Me Somehow giving Her what She wanted. It was just Another Rich Asshole Preaching from the The Billionaire’s Big Book of Bullshit.

Well Finally the Time came for Moronic Mary’s Afternoon Appointment which She was around 20-25 minutes late for. Now I’m going to take a Moment to Vent here so Hold On. You see I don’t fucking Understand how a Pet Owner can be SO Concerned about Their Pet that They Demand to be Seen IMMEDIATELY (in a Non Emergency Situations), and After the Nonsensical Drama They then Show the fuck Up Late. You just want to get in Their fucking Face and and Scream “SERIOUSLY YOU ASSHOLE I THOUGHT YOU WERE SO FUCKING WORRIED ABOUT YOUR PET EARLIER THAT YOU PITCHED A FULL ON FIT, AND NOW YOU STROLE IN HERE LATE LIKE IT’S NO BIG DEAL? FUCK YOU BUDDY.” Talk about being a Self Centered Self Serving Piece of Shit with Absolutely No regard for Anyone Else but Now I will Digress.

I escorted Moronic Mary and Her Dog into an Exam Room and let the Dr. Rick everything was Set. Dr. Rick entered the Exam room Dressed in in a Ugly Cliche Hawaiian Themed Scrub Top (without a Shirt underneath mind You as is the Practice) Worn Jeans, and clunky old brown Work Boots, and Trade Mark Sunglasses. He came in with a Smirk which was an Indicator He wasn’t looking forward to Dealing with this Particular Client, and 10 to 1 He was going to Talk a Little Shit/Malevolently Fuck with Them to make it worth His While. Also in All Honestly it was always Extremely Entertaining when He opted to fuck with Difficult or Dumbass Clients making the Whole Ordeal somewhat Tolerable.

I lifted the Dog which by the Way was a King Charles Spaniel which was one of the More Popular Breeds in the Area. I guess Someone/Something has to Keep the Drunken Trophy Wives Company since the Husbands were Workaholics and 99% of Them sure as Hell didn’t have Kids Either. So I do the Whole Restraining or Preemptive Restraining to be More Exact. The Preemptive Restraining is like a Hug where You Place one Arm Under the Dogs Belly in front of the Back Legs like a Seatbelt. Your Other Arm you put Around the Dogs Neck like a Canine Version of a Headlock, and the Reason for this is if the Dog Acts Out be it due to Pain/Discomfort or Aggression You again Act like a Seat Belt and Tighten Your Grip Accordingly (Just in case Anyone was fucking Wondering). Moronic Mary was all Flustered and was acting as if She was on the fucking Brink of a fucking Panic Attack, or in My Personal Opinion She was Acting like a Tweeked Out Meth Addict. Dr. Rich started His Physical Exam where He ran His hands Over the Dog from Head to Tail feeling For Injuries/Pain/Abnormalities/Joint and Spine Issues etc.

After letting Moronic Mary simmer in Her own Insanity for a minute or two Dr. Rich at last asked Her what the Reason was that She had brought Her Dog in. Well being fucking True to Form Moronic Mary starts to Retell the Story She Told Me Only this Version was Longer, More Detailed, More Dramatic than the Previous Telling. The Entire time Moronic Mary is ranting away like a Possessed Woman Dr. Rich just Stood There Examining the Dog with a Shit Eating Grim plastered across His Face. Once Moronic Mary literally ran out of Breath Dr. Rich informed Her that during His Cursory Exam had Not Felt any Abnormal Lumps. He then Asked Moronic Mary to Please Show Him exactly what the fuck She was Talking About.

We then Proceeded t get the Dog to Lay Down on its Side so Dr. Rich could Checkout these Mysteriously Non Present Lumps when Moronic Mary located Them to Show Him. This is when the STUPID SHIT HIT THE FUCKING FAN. Moronic Mary proceeded to Show Dr. Rich the Unknown Lumps which in Reality were the Dog’s Nipples, BUT That’s Not All! Dr. Rich with a look of Disbelief informs Moronic Mary that the Lumps She was concerned with are in fact just regular old Nipples. What Moronic Mary Said Next I will remember to the fucking Day I Die “But…He’s a Boy Dog???” at which Point Dr. Rich looking a little Unsure of How to Handle Someone so Painfully Ignorant. Lucky for Him Dr. Rich was Quick on His Feet and Calmly and as Politely as Possible all things Considered that Yes Her Boy Dog has Nipples just like Her Husband is a Boy and He Too has Nipples.

So in Summation an Adult Woman felt Lumps on Her Dog’s Belly, Freaked Out, Called The Vet in a Panic, Acts Demanding and Belligerent. She then precedes to Show the fuck Up around 20-25 Minutes Late Only to Diagnosis Her Boy Dog with Nipples. This Dumbfounded the Moronic Client Who for some fucking reason Though Men of the 2 or 4 Legged Didn’t have Nipples since They Don’t Nurse Babies. Then a Highly Educated Veterinarian had o Explain the whole fucking “Men have Nipples Too” impromptu Anatomy Lesson pertaining to Humans and Animals. Now after Reading this when I say the VAST MAJORITY of People Today are fucking Fucktarded Idiots I dare Someone to Argue with Me (Only Partially Joking).

It is What it Is,

By les Sober

(SHAYE SAINT JOHN’S )TRIP #1 HOLLYWOOD

Welcome to Todays FYB Post featuring TRIP #1 HOLLYWOOD by Shaye Saint John. Shaye Saint John is a Fictional Character and Art Project Who Appears in a Series of Surrealist, Creepy Short Films, and is Brain Child of Creator Eric Fournier. In the 90’s, Fournier was a Member of the Punk Bands The Blood Farmers and Skelegore when He began working on the First Miss Shaye St. John Video. In 2003, the Character started a Blog at LiveJournal, and a YouTube Channel Named Elastic Spastic Plastic Fantastic was created in August 2006. The YouTube Channel Uploaded all 56 of the Saint John Videos from 2006-2007, But the Official Channel was Discontinued and Cancelled in December of 2007. Unfortunately the Creator of the Shaye Saint James Character Eric Fournier Died sometime back in 2010.

Relevant Note Pertaining to Shaye Saint John:

It had been quite a long fucking Time since We had Checked in with Shaye Saint John’s Youtube Channel and when We did Obviously Recently We Noticed Some Strange Shit. What We noticed was 90% of the Videos on the Channel have been Taken Down. As of Now all but 10 Videos (all from 6 years ago) remain Posted on the channel. We found this Rather Odd since one of the First things to Consider is the Content Creator Removed them, But in this Case the Content Creator is Died in 2010 so that’s Not It. So We decided We had to find Out more Information about What the fuck was Going on Since We are Huge fucking Shaye Saint John Fans.

We came Across Another Big Fan who was Able to Shed some Light on the Subject as it were. Apparently Youtube is doing Some fucking Weird ass Thing where instead of just Straight Up Deleting the Videos in Question. They have Opted to Slowly Dismantle it Until in the End there is No Content Left on the Channel at which Point We assume Youtube will Delete it at Last. This Strategy as Far as We are Concerned makes No Sense What so fucking Ever because What the fuck Does Youtube think the Fans/Viewers Simply Won’t Notice the Slow but Steady Deletion of Content/Videos?! And what the fuck is the Point if All Youtube is Going to do Ultimately is Shut the Channel the fuck Down Anyways so Why Not just Pull the fucking Trigger and be Done with it?!

Then Again as Youtube as Evolved Over the Many Years it has Only become More and More difficult for Content Creators, but it has become Equally Frustrating for the Users of the Platform. There is No fucking Rhyme or Reason anymore since YouTube Doesn’t even Bother Bullshitting Users with Lame fucking Excuses. At this fucking Rate Youtube is going to fucking Implode in the Future Under the Weight of its Own Growing Nonsensical Fuckery.

The Bottomline here is SO FUCKING WHAT if the Shaye Saint John Creator Eric Fournier Died? Not trying to be fucking dicks about it, but Yeah We all end Up Worm Food or a Pile of Ashes in an Urn so fucking what of it?! We fail to see ANY fucking Point or Reason for Youtube to take down Fournier’s Videos or for Youtube to just Straight Up Delete the Entire fucking Channel! There was a Small fucking Library of Content with a Substantial Viewership, and Again so what if the Content Creator Died?! Why should that be a Reason for Youtube to Shit on and Delete Fournier’s Legacy?!!

What fucking Harm is there in Keeping a Successful Channel Up for the Viewers New and Old to Watch and Enjoy the Content?! Not to Mention YouTube Gains Both Money and Users/Viewers BECAUSE of Kick Ass Content Creator’s with Kick ass Content in the First fucking Place. Remember if No One Uploaded Videos there Wouldn’t be a fucking YouTube Period. Thus We ask once Again Why is Youtube being Disrespectful and fucking Ungrateful for the FREE fucking Content that makes Them a Shit Load of Money and Boosts Popularity of the Platform. Simply FUCK YOUTUBE it’s No Longer a Viable Platform its a Bullshit Profit Driven Business that Doesn’t Support Content Creators at All Anymore Choosing Profit over People.

Shaye Saint John’s TRIP #1 HOLLYWOOD Video Deviation:

What We Particularly like about this Particular Shaye Saint John Video is it isn’t a Staged Skit in Some House or fucking Apartment. The Audience is Not what One would call a “Willing Audience” Opting to Watch a Shaye Saint John Video on Youtube. Instead in this Case They are Subjected to the Manic Absurdity of the Shaye Saint John Character as She Runs Rampant in the Real World. In this Video Shaye is Wheeled around the Streets of Hollywood by Some Random Guy Who would Blend into a Crowd (Point Being He’s a Generic Looking Average Joe Type). There is Also an Alternate Fellow Dressed as a Medical Doctor who also Ushers Shaye around in a Wheel Chair as Shaye has Frantic, Frenzied, and Hyper Reactions to the World Around Her. Needless to Say 95% of the Public were More Confused than Anything Else at the Sight and Behavior of Shaye though All in All the Situation was Well Received. Some of the things Shaye Poses for a Couple Pictures with People, Stops to Chat to a Spiderman Street Performer, Makes a Phone call on a fucking Pay Phone, Massages Her Legs while Sitting on the Sidewalk Singing a Song about fucking Tacos, Fawns Over the Assorted Photos of the Talent Posted in aTheater Window, Interacts with the Public, Almost Gets Sick (Vomit) on Hollywood Boulevard, and Narrowly Avoids being Murdered.

It is What it Is,

Presented By Les Sober

HOSPITALS ARE A BULLSHIT SCAM.

Today We will be Discussing Hospitals and all that it Entails. First Off We all know what the fuck a Hospital is it’s a Big fucking Building with Operating Rooms, an ER, Diagnostic Equipment out the Ass, and is Full of Doctors as well as Sick and Injured Patients. If You’ve ever had the Displeasure of having to be In or Deal with a Hospital You might remember that Hospitals are Grand Masters any Kissing Their own fucking asses. All We’re saying is Hospital Propaganda make the Nazi bullshit from WWII look like fucking Amateurs. What We are referring to are the TV Ads, Billboards, Print Ads, and the ENDLESS Posters that Line the Walls of the First Floor Your subjected to while there. What pisses Us Off the Most are the goddamn fucking Posters with Smiling Staff, Cheerful Patients, and bullshit Slogans/Claims “We care About Our Patients” or “We Love to Support Our Community” or even “Providing the Best Car in *Fill in the Blank*”. This is Of Course UTTER AND TOTAL FUCKING BULLSHIT.

Hospitals DO NOT give a actual fuck about People They care about Only One fucking thing and it ain’t Healthcare it’s motherfucking MONEY. Hospitals put Profit Over People and if You fucking think that’s Not True try getting Medical Attention after Telling the Hospital that You Don’t have Insurance aka Payment. This seriously fucking pisses Us Off since Doctors take the Hippocratic which is all about Healing the Injured and Curing the Sick We mean real Biblical type shit here. What the fuck it doesn’t say is a goddamn thing about “Only if You get Paid” or “Treat Those Who have Insurance Only.” BUT THAT IS THE FUCKING REALITY nowadays. What People fucking Forget is Hospitals are FOR FUCKING PROFIT COMPANIES just like Amazon or fucking Walmart. To Hospitals All that matters is MAKING MONEY amassing an Obscene Fortune in the at the Expense of the Actual Patient They claim to Love and Provide for.

Speaking of Doctors if You want to Piss Off ANY Doctor is to ask them Why Doctor’s REFUSE to Admit the fucking Obvious Truth, and that is ONE (perhaps the main one) of the Reasons They chose to be Doctors was They Knew it make Them fucking Rich. And wanting a High Paying Job is Totally fine, BUT Bullshitting, Avoiding, and Ignoring the Question/Subject THAT’S the Issue We have. Also Doctor’s WILL readily admit that the Healthcare System, Health Insurance, and Hospital Care is a BROKEN and SEVERLY FLAWED System that Financially Rapes People until They are Broke or Crippled by Medical Bills Then They fucking Abandon Them. Doctor’s are at the fucking Center of the American Pay to Play or in this Case Pay to Live. Doctors and Hospitals KNOW People Don’t want to be sick, in pain, or Die and They fucking Exploit the Situation to Grotesque Degree to get EVERY last flicking Cent from Their Patients. Case and Point Even Lawyers who lets face it are fucking Despised (Until People Need One) for Being Greedy Bastards do Pro Bono Work. Meanwhile Virtually NO Doctors do Pro Bono Work unless They’re Doctors Without Boarders and They Don’t Help Anyone in America They deal with 3rd World Countries.

And How can We be So fucking Sure? Well Allow US to Explain form Personal Experience. Les landed Himself in the Emergency Room in the First Week of January 2018 Literally Knocking on Death’s Door which sent the ER Staff Scrambling like a Motherfucker. Les had to be Admitted to the Hospital for Further Treatment which Included Surgery where He Spent Almost a Week. Now here’s the fucked Up Part Les’s Wife had been Paying for Insurance through Her Employer which is what it is. The fucking Problem was some Incompetent Asshole made a Mistake. Then this Ignorant Asshole instead of FIXING IT and Properly Filing it stuck it in a fucking Desk Drawer and fucking Forgot About it.

Now literally a Day or So before Landing in the Hospital His Wife became Aware of the Mistake and Immediately Addressed it with Her Employer. Since She had Payed into the Insurance Ultimately things would be Corrected and the Insurance would be Retroactive at that Point. This was Explained in fucking Full to EVERY MOTHERFUCKER Les and His Wife Dealt with Explaining the fuck Up, and that They did have Insurance it was just a dumbfuck Clerical Error and was in the Process of being Worked Out. Now on Day 3 of Les’s Hospital Stay 2 Stern and rather Grim looking Women from the fucking Hospital’s Billing Department Showed Up in His fucking Room. They talked to Les’s Wife (Though Les was the Actual Patient and Laying in Bed 4 fucking feet away) and Informed Her that We Owed Them $157,000 Plus So Far.

Les’s Wife AGAIN for the BILLIONTH Time Explained the Situation and that They DID have Insurance and what had Happened. As for the 2 Cold Cunts from Billing was Concerned Didn’t Bat a fucking Eyelash. Instead They wanted to Know if Les and His Wife could put Down a fucking Deposit for $15,000. Also to make things MORE FUCKED the Piece of Shit Parasites from Billing instantly They showed up on FRIDAY AT 4:30. The Point is that left 30 minutes Before the Banks and all that Bullshit Closed and Wouldn’t be back Until Monday. To make a Long Story Short Les has a Really Bad Temper and Absolutely Despises the ENTIRE Medical Field so Simply at that Point Les Completely Lost His Shit. Les Cursed and Berated the Billing Department Dipshits Mercilessly Pointing Out He was Still a Patient and what fuckwit would ask for Payment before All Services were Rendered. He also called them Out on Their Ridiculously Retarded Time Frame, and then Posed the Question could THEY come the fuck up with $15,000 in 30 Minutes. After being Verbally Assaulted The Pair of Parasitic Pissants finally fucked Off.

Next Let’s Chat about the fucking Insanity of a Hospital Bill. First Off one Reason Hospital Bills are fucking Outrageous starts with the Fact Patients are Charged Between $1,000 to $1,200 a Day JUST FOR THE FUCKING ROOM. That Fee DOESN’T include a fucking thing, No Doctors, Nurses, Diagnostics, Procedures, Surgeries, or Medication it’s Only for Occupying a Room. That would make Hospitals the Most Expensive and Shittiest Hotel Anyone will Ever Stay in. Second Hospitals have what They call a “Master List” which in Reality is a MASSIVE Price List. It has EVERY fucking thing that the Hospital Charges for and How much from Cotton Swabs to fucking Brain Surgery.

The fucked Up thing is Hospitals are fucking NOTORIOUS for doing EVERYTHING in Their Power to make Sure NO ONE SEES THEM. If You ask US that’s just fucking Shady as Shit since Hospitals DO NOT send Itemized Bills so Patients Don’t Actually Know What They are Paying For or even How fucking Much the Things They are Paying for Cost. So Once Your out of the Fucking Hospital You just sit and Wait for the fucking Bill(s) to Start Rolling in. Then when the Hospital Bill comes You have NO fucking Clue if its $20 or $2000 or $20,000 until You actual Open the fucking Thing.

Now for Example Would You go into a Grocery Store and Have The Cashier Ring You Up only to had You c Receipt that Only Says GROCERIES $375? Fuck No You Wouldn’t. Nor would You drop Off Your Car at the fucking Mechanics only to Return to a Bill that Simply States AUTO REPAIR $750? Again fuck No You Wouldn’t. The Issue is that Hospitals damn well know if Patients/Public found Out how Bad Hospitals were Financially fucking Them Over There’d be Hell to Pay. People would Storm Hospitals and fucking full on Riot as the Mob Mentality takes Hold. Yet Another Reason that Corrupt Hospital Cunts don’t want the Public to Know what They Charge Outside of Public Rage Fueled Backlash is Patients could Shop Around instead on being TOTALLY DEPENDENT on Their Local Hospital. Itemized Bills are used to Help Prevent fucking Fraud its so You know what You’re being Charged For and How Much, BUT Hospitals will Never give You a Itemized Bill. Somewhat Good News is if You request/ask for an Itemized Bill They BY FUCKING LAW have to Provide You with One.

The Problem is good fucking Luck EVER receiving Your Itemized Bill NO MATTER How many fucking Times You request it. Les is Still Attempting to get an Itemized Bill for His Hospital Stay 4 fucking Years Later and still Not a fucking Thing. It’s the fucking bullshit Blame Game where Hospitals DON’T send You an Itemized Bill as Requested and when or If You call Back They claim They sent it and it must have “Gotten Lost in the Mail” which Provides Them with a Perfect Scape Goat. Now it gets even More fucked Up as the fucking GOVERNMENT had to Step in to Try and Sort Out this Shit Storm, and They Informed Hospitals that They HAD NO CHOICE and to make Their Price List Public. And Yup You Guessed it the Hospitals did NO such thing instead They selected Random Small shit or Elective Procedures (Example: Nose Job) in a Half Assed Effort to Conform with the Government and Still Not disclose Jack Shit about Their Prices/Charges.

Down the fucking Line the Government Circled back and found that Hospitals were Non Compliant and had Essential Ignored Them. So the Government ramped Up and Stated that Hospitals HAD TO DIVULGE EVERY FUCKING COST OR ELSE. As to the Time We Post this We aren’t aware of ANY fucking Hospital in the Entire Country that has Actually Complied, and the Scumfucks in Washington haven’t Done shit or Tried Once again to Force the Issue. So Once again the People/Patients Continue to get Financially Fucked Over again and again.

One Final Note before We fuck Off Once Again into the Abyss as it were. All Hospitals are Graded like Restaurants by the Joint Commission of Hospitals based on Their Performance, and on an Alphabetical Scale ranging from A being the Best to F being well You Know. Anyway when We Relocated Our Home Office We Spent the First Couple Weeks getting to Know People in the Community and Shit. Now when You’re the New Kid on the Block People give You Advice and Local Tips and in this Case People Informed Us of the Closest Hospital (of 3 in the Area) that We will call Fuckardia Hospital to Avoid Any Possible Relation from Said Hospital. We were told Over and Over that and We Quote “Don’t go to Fucktardia Hospital Unless You want to Die.”, and a Few Months Later We learned Fucktardia is Referred to by Locals in the Know as “The Murder Hospital’. The fact of the Matter is Seriously Sick or Injured Patients wouldn’t Call the Ambulance since They HAVE to take You to the Closest Hospital. What They would do is DRIVE across County Lines before Dialing 911 so the Ambulance would then have to take Them to one of the other Two Hospitals in the Area. This was SO common place that a Guy started a Side Hustle where He drives You across County Lines, Calls 911 on Your Behalf, and Waits with You until the Ambulance Arrives.

Now One could Argue that Public Opinion No Matter Good or Bad is indeed Not Fact thus How could We be sure that Fucktardia was a Shitty Hospital? Les’s Wife is a Psych Nurse (RN) with over 12 Years of Experience in the Medical Field who was the One that Informed Us of the Hospital Rating System. It was Also Les’S Wife Who informed Us that Fucktardia Hospital had at the Time just Received an F. Unlike in the World of Restaurants where an F gets You shut the fuck Down and Out of fucking Business Hospitals are allowed to Continue to Operate (no Pun intended) even with a FUCKING F RATING. So Restaurants that get an F get at Least Temporarily Shut Down until Shit gets Fixed or Their fucked and put out of Business for Good. This is because the Health Department Doesn’t even want the Possibility of Someone getting Sick, BUT A FUCKING HOSPITAL who’s ONLY fucking Job is Helping to Sickest and Most Severely Injured People can Keep on Keeping On. Don’t take Our word for it GOOGLE IT and find out For Yourself We ain’t Lying or Exaggerating.

Moral of the Story Hospitals even the Best of the Best are in it to make Money Preying on the Sick/Injured and Vulnerable Patients. It’s fucking Vile and Those Involved Should BE Fired, Incarcerated, and FUCKING EXECUTED for Crimes against Humanity as far as We are fucking Concerned.

It is What it Is,

By Les Sober

Stupid shit I do when I get bored

What sucks so fucking bad about boredom is its boring and is know so by all who have ever existed. The best weapon in the arsenal of entertainment is to just make your own when all else falls flat on its face like your drunk uncle. I like to believe that I have redefined the concept of self entertainment when it comes to the stupid shit I do when I have to combat bored. I’ll let you be the judge. Bring on the list lets see that motherfucker!

The stupid shit I do when I get bored list:

Just the other day I had bought a rubber band gun to dissuade our upiity ass new kitten from misbehaving (main offense antagonizing the fuck out of the older house cat). I decided to load the gun with as many rubber bands as I fucking possibly could so I sat there adding one after the other until I had reached maximum capacity. That night as per usual the kitten started acting like a insane idiot and I was engaged in hunting her down to adviser her to cease and desist. Well if you have ever looked for a cat you already know that cats can be elusive motherfuckers when they want to be. Ninjas don’t have shit on cats its a fact so look it up. Anyway I colluded locate her and I have no idea why (it wasn’t fucking premeditated is all) when I passed my wife laying on the couch I yelled “SNATCH SHOT!” and unloaded ever last one of the rubber bands into my wife’s crotch. She had been engrossed in some YouRube video so she was startled as fuck and none too happy.

This week while keeping my wife company while grocery shopping a boring activity if there ever fucking was one am I right? Yeah I am. Anyways as my wife was selecting a piece of cow meat we would be dinning on that evening I saw a price tag. I don’t even remember what kind of meat it was but if I had to guess it was some pork tenderloin or something similar I suppose. The price was $6.96 and agin for no rhyme or reason I suddenly hauled the hell off and punched the shit out of that pork tenderloin thing. I then picked it up and loudly announced to my fellow shoppers “696 OFFEND MY FAMILY AND INSULTS OUR HONOR!”
A Frequent habit I have had for a extremely long ass time is when I’m out shopping with any doesn’t matter who the hell it is I start sneaking the most fucking random items into the cart when they aren’t looking (like a fucking cat). Then at check out I watch as they unload their shit at check out and discover my additions to their carts one by one intermediately through out the checking out process. You see you have to make sure as shit you dispense the various ass items in at different times and in different parts of the cart to fully drag the awkward confusion out.
Once in a while I’ll go to Dick’s sporting goods acting like an unhappy and irate customer with an ax to grind. I then when I encounter the first fucking employee I can demand that I talk to someone with authority. That means I want to talk to the biggest dick there.

I enjoy tracking down owners of Badcock Furniture Stores and inquiring why they haven’t legally changed their name from Badcock to something more flattering and advantageous. I then give examples such as Bigcock, Hugecock, Monstercock, Giantcock, Bigoldcock, or Giantcock.
I once in a blue moon if I’m in a store such as HomeDepot I like to wander over to the appliance section and find dishwashers, refrigerators , washing machines etc. Once I’m there I wait milling around aimlessly until no one is around and then I fart into the particular appliance. That way hopefully when the next person opens it to check it out it smells like ass inside.
When it comes to farting I also enjoy walking down the aisle of a store, stopping momentarily, farting, and walking away to an observation point. So then all I have to do is watch different shopper’s reactions when they walk through it. If they’re alone they’re all “what’s that pungent stench?”or if their with other people “Which one of these people I’m with is farting the place up?”
I have the juvenile habit of walking past friends who are sitting so I can fart in their face and ask “So what I have for lunch?!”
I tell people from time to time that I’m a doctor and when they ask what kind of doctor I am I tell them I’m a doctor of doctoring. You’d be fucking surprised how many people never question that statement as it sounds like some odd ass medical shit (and we all know how odd medical shit so lets just fucking admit it).
I have over the years also added a second version of the being a doctor of doctoring or more like a definition as it were. I explain that a doctor of doctoring is an extremely elite specialist who only treats other doctors.

I have been know to call church’s in the area and ask them why they seem to be having such a hard time finding Jesus.
Having some telemarketing experience I will cold call people and ask then to participate in a market research survey. The survey then turns out to be some ridiculous shit like with equally stupid questions. Examples of some such questions: “Have you ever taken part in any kind of spaghetti wrestling, and if yes were the noodles Ramen noodles?!” or “If one in the hand is better than two in the bush how do you feel about this exchange rate?”
I am a fan of hassling pescatarians about eating fish. Pescatarians are and I quote “People who do not eat meat, but they do eat fish.” So what the fuck are they classifying fish as? Fish isn’t a fruit, it isn’t a vegetable or dairy product so what the fuck do they mean?! Fish are living, breathing, breeding creatures with a natural life cycle so if they aren’t meat WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY THEN?!!
I get a kick out of sending take out food from one restaurant and have it delivered to another restaurant. There’s no purpose here other than for fucking laughs. The idea of the confusion and befuddling of staff by sending a Sushi platter to a Mexican restaurant or Indian food to a Italian restaurant is the motivator.

I have shit in inappropriate areas like parking lots, public fountains, people’s front lawns or some other common space area. When I’m confronted for my righteous public pooping I explain I was raised by Wild Animals (the animal changes regularly) and that’s how I learned to shit. That or I explain I’m from a poor ass family in Appalachia who lived in a one room shack so we were raised to just shit outside.
I used to call 411 and ask irrelevant questions like “Why does my dick look like a pickle its all green and bumpy?!”
I have on occasion called PetSmart or PetCo’s grooming department as a possible new client inquiring about their shrives and prices. I then ask them how much would it cost for my Bearded Dragon a haircut.
I’ve called random New Yorkers and asked why so they such bad insomnia in Ny since NY is the city that never sleeps?!
Occasionally I will go into fast food restaurant restrooms, go into one of the stalls, kneel down (have to make it realistic people!), and start making horribly violent vomiting sounds.
A couple of times I called Catholic churches pretending to be a Child Abuse/Anti-Pedophilia Charity soliciting donations.
I frequently punch packaged meat in grocery stores while yelling “ADRIAN!!”
I once called an abortion clinic to inquire about aborting my older brother.
I have told (and tried to convince) people I was born I believed myself into existence.

I like to call Law Firms/ Lawyers and to inquire about filing a restraining order on the grounds of sexual harassment against myself since I’m self employed.
I take one of those DNA or Ancestry tests and when the results finally arrive I harass customer service over the fact the test failed to prove my relation to Bigfoot.
I enjoy insisting to people that if latin is a dead language than anyone who still uses it (like doctors or lawyers for example) is in fact dead.
Several times I have gone to the zoo for the sole purpose of flinging my feces at the monkeys.
When bored I indulge in my favorite hobby: Douche Spotting.
I have demanded to know from soccer moms why there aren’t any other sports moms like Baseball moms and all that shit?!
I once stood outside of a sperm bank offering people going in free samples of my sperm.
A few times I have gone to sex anonymous meeting and handed out condoms, lube, and Lithuanian Viagra.

One of my personal favorite things to do when I get bored is probably the easiest (and shall well say “less objectionable” selections on this list). Step One I briskly walk up to strangers with my hand up with pointer finger fully extended. Step 2 When I reach then I look in their eyes and squint as if I recognize them, but can’t remember their name. Step 3 I open my mouth as if I’m about to say something. Step 4 abruptly I close my mouth, look away, lower my hand, and briskly walk off. Now some people may be tempted to add an addition intro phrase such as “Excuse Me….” or “I just noticed….” this is fucking stupid because the point is too leave the person confused as fuck. Once you have walked off you want the said person to wonder who you were and more over what the hell were you about to say to them. The addition of words defeats the point so yeah there’s that.
I tend to when I get bored go to a local food store or grocery and create a godawful fucking scene by openly debating (to the point of rage) what the difference is between a Burrito and a Chimichanga is.
I get a kick out of telling fellow bar patrons that my favorite specialty drink I ever had was The Pale of Champale at_____ (Insert fictional place of choice), and then explain it’s a pale like you’d see at your garden variety hardware store filled to the brim with Champale.
Once in a while when I get bored I make a scene in public trying to literally kiss my own ass goodbye after just receiving some serious bad news from my doctor.

Quite often I go to my local gym and sit around eating the most unhealthy fatty food that couldn’t possible have another calorie added to it. When the gym rats and regulars get all bent out of shape about it. When they approach me about why I’m there I can tell them I’m an amateur sumo wrestler, and that I’m in training for the next Olympics because if I win a medal I can go pro.
Once many moons ago when I got bored I poured a shot of some rank cheap as bottom barrel bourbon, gargled with it, and then spit it out. I them poured beer into my hand and rubbed it through my hair and beard. Then for good measure I dribbled some beer down the front of my shirt. Next I drove around town until I saw a cop at which point I start to drive erratically until they pull me over. They get one wife of the booze and yank my ass out of the car for a sobriety test which I pass with flying fucking colors mind you. The cop will gets twisted because he/she can’t understand what the hell is happening. They will inevitable ask why you wreck of alcohol but are as sober as a goddamn judge. That when I replied “Well I’m tonight’s designated distraction.” WARNING: if the cop is an unforgiving prick you can be ticked or even taken into custody for this SO DO NOT TRY THIS ANYWHERE AT ANYTIME. THERE I LEGALLY COVERED MY ASS!

I call an import/export company and export some random shit. Then I call back the next day and hire them to specifically import everyone of the exports I sent out the pervious day.
I have been known when I get bored to call local businesses (especially malls) who have signs stating that pets aren’t allowed accept for seeing eye dogs, and ask them who the signs are for?! I then point out that the blind person in question can’t see nor read the sign because they are fucking blind. Meanwhile the seeing eye dog can’t read the sign so maybe a fucking sign falls a little fucking short of effective.
I make up absurd historical facts and attempt to convince them its true. For example the crock pot was derived from the ancient crotch pot. The crotch pot was a small clay jar that people kept between their legs for 12 -16 hours to heat the food contained within. To sell this one you can site the fact that Ancient Mongolian Warriors would take a piece of raw meat, stick it between the horse and the saddle to “cook” it. Then just google it and use it as an example of primitive cooking methods.
I hangout at local dog parks posing as a parks department employee who has been hired by the city to scoop the dog poop at the dog park. The reason the position was created was due to the increasing incidents of people getting in fist fights with other dog owners who use the park, but don’t pick up after their fucking dog. After I explain the position I then inform whomever I’m speaking with that while I’m a official parks employee I work for tips due to department budget cuts.

If I get bored on vacation I just load up a bunch of scuba diving gear and other aquatic gadgets and head to the nearest lake. I then get in the water and start to act like a bonafide lunatic setting ups ll kinds of weird camera apparatus and drawing a lot of attention. That way when the people around me work up the courage/nerve to inquire as to what the hell I’m up to I tell them I’m hunting the Lock Ness Monster. When they point out that I’m not at Loch Ness the lake where the Loch Ness monster is alleged to reside I claim that the Loch Ness Monster has a distinct migratory pattern. It uses this unique migration pattern to migrate from lake to lake around the world to avoid detection. This is why no one has been able to find or present any evidence of the Loch Ness monster’s existence.
I am found of logging onto dating websites so I can brag that I’m depended from a long historical line of bathroom attendants.

I think that’s enough for now so…

See you later,

by Justine Sane

Dark Web Videos: Hamburger Lady

Welcome to this Installment of Dark Web Videos Featuring THE HAMBURGER LADY!

While this Video was Dredged Up from the Abyss known as The Dark Web No One can be certain of its exact Origins.
Many People have claimed the Video is Cursed or Possessed in someway that will Negatively Affect Viewers. Others believe it was made by a Group of Satanists or some Devil Worshipping Death Cult. Even others claim it causes Insomnia, Paranoia, Nightmares, Disorientation, and overall feeling of Dread and Impending Doom. Others yet claim it’s Part of a Military or Government Experiment in Mind Control and Psychological Manipulation. Some even believe its a Coded Message from The Illuminati or New World Order (NWO).
The Narrator of The Hamburger Lady seems to be a Medical Professional or Specialist who is chronicling/Discussing the Case of One of Their Patients Who has been Severely Burned from the Waist Up.
As it Turns Out the Infamous Hamburger Lady is Based on a Fictitious Doctor’s Letter written by Postal Artist Blaster Al Ackerman in 1978.
Postal Art (or Mail Art) is a Popular Artistic Movement centered on Sending Small Scale Works of Art through the Postal Service.
Media commonly used by Postal Artists include but not limited to Postcards, a Collage, of Found or Recycled Objects, Rubber Stamps, Artist Created Stamps (called Artistamps), and Paint BUT can Also Include Music, Sound Art, Poetry, or ANYTHING that can be put in an Envelope and Sent Via The Postal Service.
The same Year (1978) Pioneering Industrial Band Throbbing Gristle released their Third and Final Album titled “D.o.A” featuring a Song Called The Hamburger Lady which used Samples of Ackerman’s Fake Doctor’s Letter pertaining to a Fictitious Burn Victim read aloud.
Throbbing Gristles’s Philosophy was Unconventional in that they Believed ANYTHING that makes a Sound is an Instrument, and if You can make the Sound then You are a Musician.
Below You will find the Dark Web Video The Hamburger Lady followed by Throbbing Gristle’s song The Hamburger Lady.

Enjoy.

Throbbing Gristle “Hamburger Lady” off Their Album D.o.A

Thanks for Watching,

Presented by Les Sober

Application, But I Don’t Want to Work Here?!

It’s been a While since I Railed Against The fucked up Healthcare System, and after this Post I will put that Beast Back to Bed. The thing is I have NEVER Encountered this Situation before, and find the Whole thing to be Pretentious Bullshit.

I’m looking for a General Practitioner because I need another fucking Doctor like a need a fucking Hole in My Head, BUT My Cardiologist has opted to be a Whiny Little Bitch about filling One of My Medications After almost 2 fucking Years. The Medication is NOT an OPIOD, NOR IS IT XANAX, VALIUM, OR Any Other of the Over Prescribed Horseshit in Fact it’s SO Benign it could Almost Be an Over The Counter Medication like fucking Tylenol for Crying Out Loud.

Now granted I am frustrated and Angered by this Development, and Rather simply just Not Bother I’m not a fucking Idiot. I know I benefit a Great Deal from the Medications I take. I’m not Debating that in the Least. All I’m saying is the Entire Process is a MASSIVELY HUGE PAIN IN MY ASS, and No One likes Those unless You’re a Masochist.

You know what I mean You have to Find the Doctor, Yet You’re NOT Supposed to just Hop the Hell online and Pick One at Random and I fully Agree that Thats Foolish a Fuck. On the Other Hand what if You recently moved into the Area and the Issue is You don’t Know anyone well Enough to Trust Them for a Recommendation?! Then You need to somehow someway Locate a Doctor who is currently at the Time taking/Seeing New Patients.

If The Doctor is accepting New Patients You schedule an Appointment that’s Typically not Quite awhile Away (Couple Weeks to Several Months). Once the Day of the Appointment comes You go in fucking Early as Shit because You damn well know as a New Patient there will be EXTENSIVE fucking Paperwork (example Medical History) Tied Up in Bureaucratic Red Tape. Then Once the Pile of Paperwork is Complete You get to wait 30-40-60 Minutes bored out of Your fucking Mind in the Bland and Mind Numbing Waiting Room.

Just as Your Sanity is about to Crack You get ushered into an Exam Room where a Nurse takes Your Vitals, and May ask a few Questions before telling You that the Doctor will be in Shortly which is a fucking Joke. After Another 20-30 Minutes the Doctor Comes in and Finally You’ve Surpassed the Shitty System so Congratulations are in Order.

I managed to get a Referral from one of My Wife’s Co-workers who is also a Nurse so I figured I had an Advantage so to Speak. So Today I called Them Up to Try and Schedule an Appointment if at all Possible. A Woman answered and this is where shit started to take a VERY STRANGE TURN.

The First really Odd thing was She never bothered to even ask My Name more or less My Last Name. Second She NEVER actually said Yes or NO to the questions of The Doctor there Accepting New Patients which again seems unusually Odd. The Woman informs Me of the Following Procedure of Theirs which Totally confused the ever Living fuck Out of Me to be Brutally Honest.

Their New Patient Procedure for lack of a better Name/Term was as Follows. The New Patient must Personally come into the Office (and its worse for Me since I live in the Middle of the Woods so Everything I need is 45-60 minutes away), and I’m not kidding FILL OUT AN APPLICATION. Yes I said Application. Then The New Patients turns in the filled out Form(s), Goes Home, AND Waits 2-3 WEEKS to See if They get a Call informing Them They have been accepted as a Patient. Its reminded Me of the fucking Collage Application Process where They make You jump through God knows How many Hoops, make You kiss Their Ass, and Then String You along before letting You know Their Decision.

I didn’t let this Bizarre bullshit phase Me because I figured Well Hell it’s 2019 and the Internet Rules the fucking World so chances were I could fill out Their Form(s) Online. Immediately The Woman said that was NOT an Option. I asked Her puzzled as all get out then what were the Way or Ways I could do it Avoiding driving 2 hours round trip just to fill out a fucking Form(s). She paused and then Told Me I could have the Form(s) FAXED to ME and Then Fax them back when completed. That or She could SNAIL MAIL them to Me, and I’d then fill them out and send SNAIL MAIL them back.

This was so fucking Off Track I told the Woman I’d have to call My Wife because in 2019 I don’t Own a Outdated Dinosaur of a Communication System, BUT My Wife has Access to one at Work. I of course had No Clue what the Number was so I told the Woman I’d find out and call Her back in a minute with the Fax Number. She said Alright and We hung Up.

I contacted My Wife and She gave Me Her Work’s Fax Number and I called The Doctor’s Office back literally 3 minutes Later. This Time a Young Man who sounded like He just woke the fuck up after a Rip Van Winkle Length Nap. He also didn’t seem to have a Grasp of His Job or the Policies of the Office in which He is currently Working.

Automatically I explained I was a New Patient who was Referred to Them by a Current Patient. He then gives Me the Song and Dance about Coming In and Filling Out the Form(s) bullshit, So I ask Him can I Fax or Mail it (I remember the Previous Lady I had said Yes in Spite of the Fact there was NO Internet Option) still a Bit Bewildered.

He turns around and Tells ME there is NO OPTION but to Come in and Fill shit out. I then told Him I had Already Talked to a Lady who said I could use either Option so Now I don’t know Which One of Them is Correct and which is Full of Shit. I ask for the Woman (Who didn’t give Me her Name I realized then) to be put back on the Phone since this Guy was a fucking Tool. He put Me on hold for 15 fucking Minutes before Returning to the Line to let Me know He talked to the Office Manager and They had said Yes to Both Options.

I gave Him the Fax Number which I repeated 3 times, and made Him recite back to ME as I had NO fucking Faith in this All Star Asshole. He got it Correct and I Instructed Him to Write “Attention Les’s Wife” (of fucking course I didn’t actually say that, BUT I never Use Real Names. And in the RARE instances I do I make the Readers Well Aware.) and He doubled checked the Name and Spelling which Surprised the shit out of Me.

I Hung up still pondering what the hell was all This Happy Horseshit. Application?! What I got out of that was/is They are getting Your Info and Medical History and then like a fucking Draft Pick are choosing Who to Treat. I don’t know why the Douchebags just don’t say that They aren’t Currently seeing New Patients, BUT I can get My shit on File and Be all set if and When They Do.

Anyway My Wife got Home in the Evening and I retold Her the Seriously Insane shit I had felt with concerning this Doctor Referral/Recommendation. I then Inquired to exactly what in God’s Name the Form(s) actually were, AND THE DIPSHIT NEVER SENT THEM. Oh So Fucking Well, They can….SUCK A GIANT KING KONG COCK.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober (Posted 12:23 AM)

An FYB Quickie: Lies, Deception, and Doctors

This is simply a Question that has been Eating at Me for the last couple of Months, and I’m not honestly know exactly Why. So in Situations like this the Failsafe Remedy is to Express the Though to Exorcise the Damnable Thoughts from the Inside of My Insanity.

The the Question at Hand that Torments My Mind is this:

Why the hell would Someone LIE to their Doctor?!

Don’t get Me wrong I have, Do, and Will Lie thats just a fucking fact of Life, and being fucking Human Being unfortunately. I fully understand that there are times One Lie’s such as Dealing with Cops (fucking Nazi Pig Fuckers), To a Boss about Why You Need Off or Were Late, Your Family when You Don’t want to hear Their Opinion, and Other sticky situations.

I am also Aware of use of White Lies which are Lies that Benefit the Greater Good, and used to for such things as Protecting Another’s feelings.

Now with that all said WHY of All the Assholes and Reasons that People Lie would Someone Lie to Their Doctor?!

I mean I get it NO ONE wants to be Bitched At, Scolded, or Lectured about all the shit People are instructed to do, BUT DON’T such as Adhering to a Healthier Diet, Exercise More, and Follow Doctor’s Orders pertaining to Your Wealth and Well Being.

Thats sort of where My point lies in that Doctor’s cn be a huge fucking Pain in the Ass, They can be Condescending/Cold/Egotistical/Unrealistic and so On. And again No One likes being Called Out on Their Shit and I don’t Either for that matter. I also know Doctor’s and What They Say or Recommend can be down right Scary as fuck When it comes To Shit like to MAJOR Diagnostic Testing, Hospitalization, and Surgery.

I Myself have had 3 Surgeries, Several Hospitalizations, and Tons of Tests that could bear Horrific Result like Cancer or Aides or Some Other Life Altering Shit, and had 4-5 Surgical Procedures AKA Same Day Surgeries (the Ones that Don’t Require a Stay in s Hospital. It Sucked Each and Every fucking Time I assure You. They weren’t fucking fun thats For Sure, BUT I’m still Alive and Kicking so thats the Reality of it.

What’s true Purpose of Someone LYING to Their Doctor exactly thats what I Wonder. You may avoid getting Lectured or Reprimanded by Your Doctor, BUT thats so insignificantly Childish when it comes to Your Health which without You inevitably Die. A Doctor is a Highly Trained Medical Professional (Hopefully that is) who People Hire, and Pay a small fucking Fortune for Their Services to Heal Us when We are Injured and Cure Us when We are Sick. This all goes to serve one and only purpose which is STAYING ALIVE AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. Who would choose to be Sick or in Pain or to Die Prematurely?!

Well That’s EXACTLY what You do By Lying to Your Doctor. Lying to Your Doctor just makes His/Her Job Significantly Harder and that Job is keeping You ALIVE, HEALTHY, and PAIN FREE. And by Lying to Your Doctor Your CHOOSING to Jeopardize Your Own Health and Well Being which is about as COUNTER PRODUCTIVE as You can fucking get in this Particular Situation.

Not to mention You’re spending a Substantial Shit Ton of Money to Keep You Healthy and Alive so by Lying all Your doing is Pissing Your Money Away. If You want to Waste Money do it Gambling or Something Entertaining, well at least more than a Doctor/Doctor’s Office at Least?!

Bottomline: Ironically Lying to Your Doctor serves NO ACTUAL PURPOSE (Other than to Spare Your Feelings) it Wastes Everyone’s Time, Money and Effort which I can’t Stress enough is TO KEEP YOU ALIVE, HEALTHY, AND PAIN FREE.

Think of it in a Nutshell: When it comes to Your Doctor: You Lie and You Die.

Thank for Reading,

Les Sober

The Amazing Adventures of Dr Lisa Lithium Part 1

In a place not far from where you may live a little girl was born many eons ago. The year 1950. Her place of birth though remains a mystery. She was found in a public restroom outside of an unknown Washington Township. All that was found with her was a piece of paper which read, “This is Lilith. We do not want her. In the toilets she shall remain, the sewage that she is.”

She was found by a family named Smith and a family named Jones, though these were not the names the families had come to America bearing. They were the 1950s version of a gay couple; two gay men and two lesbians who after one drunken evening found each other’s truths and married.

The families decided to rename her Lisa Smith. Lilith was not a name they wanted to keep attached to her, with or without the harrowing note. She was named after a longtime friend who knew their truths but had passed away in a horrific boating accident.

Dead Lisa was a bubbly, warm soul who always gave 110% of everything. If you needed a lift she was there. A shoulder to cry on. A hug. A handjob. Anal. Dead Lisa was a bit too ahead of her time and this is ultimately what lead to her untimely demise.

It was so told that while vacationing in the bayous of Mississippi, Lisa and two friends had the unfortunate experience of a foundering motorboat. On top of this, the propeller had completely stopped working. One friend wished that someone could swim and push the boat towards safety. Lisa heard the call and into the water she went.

She was only in the water for about a minute when she emitted a scream. A gator was attacking her. It took a healthy bite out of her shin, not quite taking everything below that but leaving her dangling like a rogue piece of spaghetti not wanting to play with the other spaghettis on the fork.

Amid her agony suddenly the propeller reactivated. Usually this would be a good thing but she had won the Powerball of bad luck. The gator had dragged her directly to it. This was the actual cause of her death, not the gator, but her being motorboated by a motorboat. Just to top things off as she went under it took off all the recognizable features of her face. Her soft lips. Shredded. Her fat pointy little nost. Her green eyes sunken deeper into her skull. Her forehead shredded to the bone.

But enough of Dead Lisa. This is the tale of the living one. She will not be denied.

(Stay tuned for more….)

By SpaceDog

Hospitals: PAY OR DIE.

In my various Medical past have long ranted, raged, rioted, and railed against the current American Medical Capitalist Shit Show singling out Doctors as the biggest offenders.

I was wrong. I admit it. I was wrong.

The Biggest offender in the Medical Game is actually HOSPITALS.

It comes down to the Lesser of 2 evils. The System or Cycle of Abuse’s structure remains the same. That is BOTH Doctors and Hospitals exploit the Health Insurance companies. While they do this their all thinking:

“Well it doesn’t hurt anyone and these are Billion Dollar Corporation’s Cash we’re taking.”

What the Doctor’s and Hospitals forgot that in return for their financial exploitation the Insurance Companies turned right around and took it out on the Customers.

The Insurance Companies:

They Raised Deductibles.

They Raised Their Rates of Service.

They flat out Denied People Coverage period.

They tried to fuck people over with bullshit like Pre Existing Conditions.

WORST of all the Health Insurance Companies started denying more and more and more claims leaving their customers high and dry.

The Hospitals started to Monetize EVERY FUCKING THING.

A Prime Example of this is: The average cost of a Hospital room is $1,000 to $1,200 a Day. Thats just for the room. It doesn’t include any and all actual Medical Care such as Blood Work, Meals, Medicines, Diagnostic Tests, Surgeries etc. Its LITERALLY FOR JUST BEING THERE.

That Makes Hospitals the World’s most Expensive and yet at the same time Totally Fucking Shitty Hotel.

Another example of Hospitals gross greed is my Medical Bill from my Hospital was 6 Fucking Figures, and even before I was discharged I had 2 fucking Women from the Billing Department in my room demanding to know how the Hospital was getting paid, and if we could come up with $15,ooo deposit by the end of the day (they showed up at 4:30 on a fucking Friday so talk about last fucking minute.) being the Money Hungry Whores.

The Hospital fucked up my admission paper work, and didn’t check off that I had Insurance. I can’t actually blame them I was a fucking horror show by the time I arrived at the Hospital. Not to mention They showed up at 4:30 on a fucking Friday the stupid twats so talk about last fucking minute.

Just My shitty luck I had the pleasure of have yet a second fucking surgery this year (FUCK 2018!) and had a very unusual new experience.

This is how it all went down. The Hospital told me on the day I scheduled the Procedure that as part of Their customer service I would receive a phone call from them. The point of the phone call I was initially told was to expedite the tedious admission process (this was ironically to help ease the patients possible stress/fear/anxiety about the upcoming Surgery.

I received the aforementioned pre admission check in phone call at 9:00 am THE DAY BEFORE THE PROCEDURE. (you’ll see why thats key as well as I said ironic here in a minute)

The pleasant Woman on the phone introduced herself and we started the process as it were. She asked me My Name, Address, and if I had Insurance. That was it.

Usually they also ask shit like “Are you Allergic to any Medications?” and “Do You Take Any Medication Currently?”, “IS there a history of some particular disease (like cancer or diabetes etc.) run in your family”, “Have you been Hospitalized in the last 5 years?” and all that pertinent medical shit.

Right then I had a feeling things were about to get real fucked up and fast. This obviously was some sort of fucking ruse. This wasn’t some sort of Curtesy this was a New Beast all together.

The Woman told me (that the Hospital) had already whipped up an approximate bill, and that the cost would be $28,029.63 which seems pretty fucking on point for a fucking estimate. She then immediately wanted to know how I planned to pay.

As soon as I said that yes I did in fact have Insurance that when things became blatantly obvious. She then asked What Company and then asked for My Policy Number.

After that She asked Me to please hold on a second. Apparently the Hospital has some fucking Software or fucking Alga Rhythm that She ran the Estimated Bill to hypothetical see how much My Insurance would approximately cover.

She then informed me I had “Out of Pocket Expenses” to the tune of $2,500, and could I possibly pay it in full right then and there. I was quite pissed off.

I told this Woman that I scheduled the Procedure 6 goddamn weeks ago, and they decide to call me the DAY BEFORE THE SURGERY, and harass the the holy hell out of me for as much money as fucking humanly possible. Surprisingly the Woman acted the Bitch and din’t even acknowledge my previous statement.

I told her I wasn’t going to give them a fucking dime, and I did’t appreciate the greedy bastards demanding money BEFORE DOING A DAMN THING. I informed her I was going to contact My insurance company as soon as I hung up with her which I promptly did.

I called My Insurance Company and explained what the hell had just happened. I told the Customer Representative I was confused. She told me she had never heard of such a phone call before (and she has been working in the Health Insurance Field for 26 fucking years)

She went on to explain that the Hospital can’t bill me for shit since they hadn’t submitted an itemized bill to them. I reminded her that the Woman I spoke with acted like if I busted out My Credit Card she would have gladly taken the payment on the spot. To which the Insurance Lady said that it sounded like they calculated what I might owe due to Out of Pocket Expenses. Which Ironically I was informed was $1,300 which is $1,200 LESS THAN THE HOSPITAL WOMAN TRIED TO BILL ME FORM/COLLECT.

I then inquired to what the fuck Out of Pocket expenses were since I was a customer of theirs and had met My Deductible many, many months ago. I was then educated a bit more in the corrupt World of Health Insurance Companies.

Even though I had indeed met My normal deductible the Insurance Company had My Second Surgery categorized in such a way that I had this “Out of Pocket” bullshit or in reality it was a second and separate Deductible. Health Insurance Companies are a fucking Scam run by Greedy fucking Big Businesses that are People for Profit.

So in conclusion in spite of their Sunny Advertisements or in Hospital Poster Propaganda (with Happy Babies, Smiling Senior Citizens, Confident Doctors and al the usual Hospital hype) absolutely and totally

DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT PATIENTS. They are SOLEY FOR PROFIT BIG BUSINESSES.

When It Comes to Modern Medicine its simple PAY OR SUFFER/DIE.

Thanks for Reading, By Les Sober

Textonics : Another Peak Behind The Curtin of Absurdity

Yes you guessed it here is another text conversation between SpaceDog and Yours Truly discussing doing a joint post using a technique known as “Bible Dipping” (want to know wtf that is then wait for the post or just Goggle the fuck out of it.

Without Further Adu TEXTONICS!

SpaceDog: Yeah kind of funny how the hospital is like the top place to catch shit. They should have a separate entrance for sick people at the hospital and clean them up in one of those chambers like they do in the movies. True True. Do you possess one or both bibles? I think i have a new testament around here somewhere but generally speaking that shit is way too cheerful.

Les: Fuck yeah a decontamination shower. I actually have a few versions of the bible ironically. Thats because people (even me believe that shit or not) get weirded out by ditching a bible even if they donate it to like fucking Good Will or some shit like that. I have a biblical text thats a whole bible dedicated to Revelations. Really grim shit. We should definitely use it for the Devil’s end of the Q&A.

SpaceDog: Speaking of Satan, they brought back sabrina the teenage witch and she’s satanic now. lol. Oh yeah thats like grizzly new T. i was thinking of psalms they are all cheery i read them like 20 times when i was in jail.

Les: Holy Shit I saw that shit on Netflix’s New Line Up and thought of the old original show, BUT I had no fucking idea that Sabrina had gone Satanic. I mean Sabrina was on fucking Nickelodeon for fucks sake. So how do you go from a Kids Network to Being Sabrina and Satan she being all down with the Devil. PSALMS READ IN JAIL! Fucking Fabulous. Just read your latest posts and I have to say they are rather Awesome. Very cool indeed.

SpaceDog: Haha thanks i have to finish part 2 later tonight before i forget what the hell i was talking about.

Les: Hear you there. I have a few backlogged posts but had to have surgery number fucking 2 for this year so I was sore as shit and whacked out on a combo of Pot and Percocet. Come to think of it I wish I could have written then because that shit would be far fucking out.

SpaceDog: Damn what surgery u have? It Help?

Les: One of My asshole Doctors wanted an insurance policy since I have a bum ticker. So 2 weeks ago I had a Out Patient Procedure done at this Hospital thats Great accept I fucking despise it like taxes. I hope the surgery helps since the procedure was done in case as my Doctor put it “You try and Die on Us again.” So my shoulder was all jacked the fuck up felt like a tried to tackle an 18 wheeler. Lmfao.

SpaceDog: Well thats good my grandfather had that shit done and was right for as long as i can remember so like 30 years maybe? I tried to have surgery but my Doctor talked me out of it. Have something going on with my neck/shoulder area. I forget what the hell she called it.

Les: Damn a Doctor who doesn’t recommend surgery??? Now thats fucking Crazy as Shit.

SpaceDog: She said the scar would be worse. Idk will reevaluate after i drop weight and find myself staring at myself in the mirrors and not avoiding them like the plague.

Les: Reevaluating is always a good fucking idea, I mean thats what second opinions are made of. I need to drop weight myself. Doing good but then there was the Italy deal and then the Surgical Procedure. I need to get the fuck going again and all that happy horse shit.

SpaceDog: The guy currently dating brittany spears dropped 100 lbs in 6 months by doing 2 hours at the gym every morning. Im not exactly sure what i would do there for 2 hours. Even if i stretch out cardio and weight lifting i can only hit 80-90 minutes. What bout the other 30? Free Handjobs? Fake tanning bed? Arguing with the desk staff about something completely irrelevant? The arguing one is always fun especially when you intend to make zero sense.

Les: Brittany Spears is still relevant?! Yeah a 2 hour block in a fucking gym is a stretch but thats why they have personal fucking trainers I suppose. Arguing nonsense is AWESOME and a GREAT past time/ hobby too. Dunno about the extra 30 minutes time killer-filler but you got some good ideas. There a gym in the next town 8 miles down the road. Its a prefab building that houses you basic gym equipment, no contracts, no pressure, no trendy juice bar, no mirrored walls, no TVs, and no staff at all. Fucking Love It. They give you a key once you track down the owner and then you can go anytime you want as much as you want. You just let yourself in whenever ya wanna hump iron.

SpaceDog: Sounds like the old gym i belonged to. It was 24 hrs had a key card, i think the staff left at 6 pm something crazy early. Had to drop that shit because they decided that when they left they would shut off the air conditioning off also. Urge Fitness i guess as in i have to urge to murder these assholes. Owner must be some road head likes to cuss people out in their yelp reviews which is why i review shit anonymously. Cuz i only review some nasty shit. Lol. Like your fucks. I agree sarah Sanders deserves 2 separate fucks. Also i have 3 to add: Fuck Steve Harvey. FUCK BIXBY. FUCK CORTANA. ( those are the rip roaring shitting alexis/siri clones on samsung and windows respectively. Bit/Cortana compared to alexis/siri is like sleazy hollow vs the ritz carlton. Im going to bed i think i will survive one more day without finishing blog. Here’s something to keep u busy. U have to enter for the Mama Mia socks i did lmfao.

Les: They cut the AC thats some real bullshit there the douche bags. Urge is for Assholes LMFBO! Roid Rage the Struggle is REAL. Steroids shrink your balls and gives you bitch tits. I can add the additional fucks tomorrow just gotta edit them in there. Double Fuck(ed). Come to think I may just use your fucks to start off a Part 2. LMFAOMFRS!

***Thats all for this time around kiddies.***

Thanks for Reading

, Les Sober and SpaceDog