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The Mysterious Demise of Elisa Lam

Welcome to Another Installment of STRANGE AND DISTURBING VIDEOS Featuring The Elisa Lam Elevator Surveillance Footage. This Time around We’re Going to Do things a Little Differently by Switching Up the Format. Directly Below is the Elisa Lam Video Footage, and Below the Video are The Facts, Speculations, and Unsolved Explanations.

The Facts:

Elisa Lam was a 21 Year Old Canadian Tourist and Student at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver where She was Originally From.
Lam was Visiting California and She was Traveling Alone.
In Spite of Being a Lone Traveler Lam remained in Constant Contact with Her Parents calling Them Several Times a Day.
Lam Struggled with Bipolar Disorder and Depression.
Lam was taking a Several Psychiatric Drugs to Treat Her Mental Health Issues.
Lam had a Blog where She Openly discussed Both Her Health and Mental Health Issues.

Lam Checked into the Cecil Hotel on January 26, 2013 and was Scheduled for Check Out on January 31, 2013
The Cecil (Formerly Hotel Cecil and Informally as The Cecil) is a Low Budget Hotel Built in 1927.
The Cecil is Located in Downtown Los Angeles on the Infamous Skid Row (Skid Row is Home to Countless Homeless, Alcoholics, Drug Dealers, Pimps, Drug Addicts, Hookers, Petty Criminals, and Assorted Deviants. Think NYC’s Hell’s Kitchen before Gentrification.)
Notorious Serial Killer, Rapist, and Burglar Richard Ramirez (aka The Night Stalker) lived at the Cecil from 1984-1985 during Most of His Horrific Killing Spree.
Lesser Known Austrian Serial Killer Johann “Jack” Unterweger was also a Resident of the Cecil’s Sordid Past.
In the 1930’s was Home to 6 Reported Suicides. A Few Residents Ingested Poison, While Others Shot Themselves, Slit Their Own Throats, or Jumped Out Their Bedroom Windows.
The Cecil is also Home to a 1964 Unsolved Murder .
In the 1950’s-60’s The Cecil experience another Rash of Suicides so Many that the Locals Dubbed The Cecil “The Suicide”.
Since the Elisa Lam’s Death the Cecil Rebranded itself The Stay On Main Hotel.

Initially Lam had a Shared Two Roommates, But Her Roommates complained to the Hotel Staff of Lam’s “Odd Behavior”.
Lam was then moved to a Private Room for the Remainder of Her Stay.
Lam was Supposed to Check Out of the Cecil on January 29th, But She Never Did.
Lam was Last seen Alive on January 29th by a Local Bookshop Owner.
Lam failed to Call Her Parents and Check in Either on January 29th which was the First Time She hadn’t Her Entire Trip.
Lam’s PArents called the LAPD and Reported Their Daughter Missing.
The Police Utilizing Search Dogs along with Lam’s Parents conduct a Thorough Search of the Cecil Hotel Including the Roof.
Their Search Turned Up Nothing Not s Single Clue or Shred of Evidence.
Lam’s Parents Didn’t Voluntarily Disclose Their Daughters Mental Health History to the Police Who were Pissed About it. Obviously The Police Thought such Pertinent Information would have been More Helpful if They had been Informed from the Beginning.

Shortly after the Failed Search News of Lam’s Mysterious Disappearance Hits the Media.
The Police deem Lam’s Disappearance as Suspicious and May Indicate Foul Play.
The Police hold a Press Conference and make Lam’s Case Public on February 6th.
Over a Week Passes before the Police Hold a Second Press Conference on February 14th. At the Press Conference They Release a Four Minute Video of Lam caught on an Elevator Surveillance Camera. The Video Captured Lam’s Erratic and Bizarre Behavior in Her Final Moments.
In the Footage Lam is seen Exiting and Re-entering the Elevator, Talking and Wildly Gesturing in the Hallway Outside the Elevator, and Sometimes seeming to Play a Sinister Game of Hide and Seek.
It is assumed the Elevator Door was Malfunctioning which Explains Why the Doors Don’t Automatically Close thus Remaining Open for Over 4 Minutes Straight.
After the Release of the Video Footage the Case’s Momentum Slows Considerably to a Virtual Stop.

Eventually Guests at the Cecil start to Complain about Low Water Pressure, and that the Water was Blackish in Color with a Very Unusual Taste.
During the Whole Ordeal The Cecil Remained Open. They did Require All Guests to Sign a “Drink The Water at Your Own Risk”/”Can’t Sue Us Waiver
On February 19th a Maintenance Worker Discovered Lam’s Body Floating in one of the Cecil’s 4 Large Water Tanks.
Lam Body was Nude, and Her Clothes along with Personal Affects were Floating in the Tank With Her.
The Coroner’s Report Found No Alcohol or Illegal Drugs in Her System, and Deemed Lam’s Death as an Accidental Drowning.

The Unanswered Questions:

How did Lam access the Roof of the Cecil? The Door that leads to the Roof is Securely Locked at All Times, and is Wired with an Emergency Alarm that is Triggered When the Door is Opened. No Alarm was Ever Reported.
The Cecil’s Water Tanks are Four Feet Wide and 8 Feet Tall, and are Elevated on a Substantial Cinder Block Base increasing Their Height.
There NO FIXED ACCESS to the Water Tanks such as a Ladder or Stairs so How did Lam get on Top of the Tank to Begin With?
The Lids to the Tanks Weight 20 Pounds a Piece so if Lam climbed into the Tank on Her own Accord How did She Close the Lid with No Internal Handle?
The Water Level of the Tank that Lam’s Body was Found in was too Low to allow Her to Reach the Hatch Door once inside of the Tank (even if there was a Viable Handle)?
Also What about the Fact the Police had Searched the Roof with the Assistance of Official Trained Search Dogs that turned up Nothing?
The Autopsy Report and its Conclusions have also been Questioned.
The Autopsy Report Doesn’t Say what the Results of the Rape Kit and Fingernail Kit Were, or Even if They were Processed.
Even the Coroner’s Pathologists appeared to be Ambivalent about the Conclusion that Lam’s Death was Accidental.
Lam’s Tumblr Blog was Consistently Updated up to 11 Months after Her Death.
Lam’s Phone was Not Found either with Her Body or in Her Hotel Room; it has been Assumed to have been Stolen sometime around Her Death.
Weather the Continued Updates to Lam’s Tumblr Blog were Facilitated by the Theft of Her Phone, the Work of a Hacker, They’re Automatic Updates through Tumblr’s Queue (which allows Users to Automatically Publish when the User is Away), or Possibly by Lam’s Killer is Unknown.

The Video Footage Theories and Conspiracies:

In Lou of the Mind Boggling Dynamics Some Believe Lam simply Commited Suicide.
Some Believe it was Due to The Paranormal someway Linked to the Cecil’s Violent Past.
Other Believe it was the Evil Spirit of Serial Killer Richard Ramirez or Johann “Jack” Unterweger who Still Stalk the Halls of the Cecil.
Another School of Thought is Lam was Demonically Possessed.
The More Practical Minded People Speculate Lam was having a Manic Fit or a Psychotic Break.
In Spite of the Coroner’s Report Finding No Alcohol or Illegal Drugs in Lam’s System insist She was Under The Influence/ Intoxicated explaining Her Abnormal Behavior in the Video Footage.
The Main and Most Intriguing Belief being Lam was in Fact Murdered. It Would explain Why in the Footage Lam Appears to Be Hiding at Times, Acting like She’s being Followed, Pleading with Someone in the Hallway, and Overall Frantic and Panicked Behavior. This could also Explain Lam’s Continued Tumblr Updates as They are being Posted by the Killer using Lam’s Missing Phone.

In The End it was a Mystery Then and It’s a Mystery Today. It’s Safe to Say Whatever the Secret was Behind Lam’s Final Manic Moments She Took With Her to the Grave.

Thanks For Reading/Watching,

Presented By Les Sober & FYB (Posted at 1:07 am)

Scumfuck Radio (Our Favorite GG Allin Songs)

It’s No Secret that We here at FYB are GG Allin Fanatics in the Least, and Thus have Decided to Start the Scumfuck Radio (Our Favorite GG Allin Songs) Series.

The Series serves to Showcase Our Absolute Favorite Tunes from the Infamous Rock’n Roll Terrorist GG ALLIN.

Each Installment will Feature a Song (with or without a Accompanying Vide0) along with the Lyrics Transcribed Below.

We have Already Covered Our All Time Favorite GG Song Titled Bite It You Scum, and Now Here is Our Second All Time 2nd Favorite GG Song the Anti-Social Anthem Shoot, Knife, Strangle, Beat & Crucify off of the Album Brutality & Bloodshed For All. (The Last Every Record by GG Allin before His Untimely Death on June 28, 1993 due to a Heroin Overdose).

GG was always Controversial with His Notorious Live Shows Involving anything from GG Urinating on the Band, Rolling in Broken Glass,Starting Full Blown Riots at Concert Venues, Self Mutilation, Nudity, Fist Fights with Fans, Vandalism, Obscenity, Running from the Police, Promotors Shutting Down Shows Prematurely Due to Violence/Property Damage, Tons of Drugs, Binge Drinking, GG Knocking out His Own Teeth with the Microphone (or shoving it Up His Ass), and Most Famously GG’s Indulgence in Coprophagia/ Coprophagy (Which is the Consumption of Feces aka Actually Eating Shit). GG though wasn’t Satisfied with just Eating Shit, He took Shits on Stage and would Throw it at The Audience, Smear it on His Naked Body, and Roll in It.

Unfortunately By the Time GG Recorded Our Favorite GG Album Brutality & Bloodshed For All after a 3 Year Prison Stint (For Assaulting a Fan and Bating Them so Severely They spent Months in the Hospital Recovering) His Voice was Shot to Hell. Years of Drinking, Drugging, Smoking, and Psychotic Screaming finally caught up with GG, and reduced His Voice to a Gravely Growl that at Times is Incomprehensible. Thats Why We felt it was Imperative We included the Lyrics.

Enjoy.

Lyrics:

Stand Up, it’s Time to Rise

It’s Time for Revenge, Opposition must Die

Chaos, Violence, Revolution Now

We are the Real Rock’n Roll Underground

Shoot, Knife, Strangle, Beat and Crucify

These are the 5 Laws of the Jungle that I Live By

You Locked Me up in Prison on the Inside

Now it’s time to Shoot, Knife, Strangle Beat and Crucify

Shoot, Knife, Strangle, Beat and Crucify

I Believe in an Eye for an Eye

Your Rehabilitation Backfired from the Inside

Now its Time to Shoot, Knife, Strangle, Beat and Crucify

Stand Up, It’s Time to Rise

It’s Time for Revenge, Opposition must Die

Chaos, Violence, Revolution Now

We are the Real Rock’n Roll Underground

Shoot, Knife, Strangle, Beat and Crucify

I am the Guy, the One You tried so Hard to Fry

But I was Strong, You Couldn’t take My Mind

Now It’s Time to Shoot, Knife, Strangle, Beat and Crucify

Stand Up, It’s Time to Rise

It’s Time for Revenge, Opposition Must Die

Chaos, Violence, Revolution Now

We are the Real Rock’n Roll Underground

(Repeat 4 Times until Song Ends)

Thanks for Listening,

Presented By Les Sober & FYB

Seriously Sick Saturday Cinema: THE BUNNY THE KILLER THING

FYB is Highly Amused to Present the 2015 Finnish un-PC Horror Splatter Comedy Film BUNNY THE KILLER THING Directed by Joonas Makkonen, Based on His Similarly Titled Short Film. The Film was First Screened at the Marche du Film in Cannes in May 2015, and was Released in Theaters in Finland on November 6, 2015.

Brief Plot Summery:

A Group of 7 Finnish Friends are Heading for a Weekend at a Cabin in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, and on Their way are Accompanied by Three English Speaking Men. The Group who was looking forward to a Fun Filled Weekend, instead Find Themselves involved in a Game of LIFE OR DEATH when They are ATTACKED by a 6 FOOT TALL, MONSTROUS, SEX CRAXED CREATURE who appears to be Half Man and Half Rabbit Brandishing an Insanely Long Penis! The Menacing Mutant Rabbit Monster has come for the Sole purpose of Scoring with the Women, and Attacking Anything that Resembles a Woman’s Vagina!

What Some People Have Said About BUNNY THE KILLER THING:

“Turns out-injecting a murderous half man/half bunny with an enormous cock into the Mix might be just what the doctor ordered.”

-Luke Rodriguez (Modern Horror)

“…Bunny The Killer Thing may appeal to a small percentage of viewers with a furry fetish, or those looking for a Midnight movie just to laugh, because it is funny, or just because it is Hideous.”

-Robyn Andrew (Cryptic Rock)

“The Other impressive feature here is the stellar gory attacks by the creature. Featuring plenty of Limbs being ripped off, head blown off by shotgun blasts, having their stomachs ripped open and their intestines pulled out and eyeballs ripped out, there’s quite a full-on assault of blood and gore here to mesh together with the other bodily fluids.”

-DOn’s World of Horror and Exploitation

Enjoy.

We Hope You Enjoyed the Mostrous Mayhem as Much as We Did.

Thanks for Watching,

Presented By Les Sober

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (46/365)

“Options, Options, Options are Good to Have, So Let’s see here What are Our Options?” mused Dizzy Aloud as He began to Pace the length of the Room slowly clearing a Small Path through the Empty Cigarette Packs, Beer Cans, Long Smoked Dimebags, and the Other various Refuse that Littered the Floor.

“We could Call My Buddy Hall Ucinogen and pick up a Couple Tabs of Acid, and We could go to the New Aquarium. Then We could drop the Acid and Trip Balls for 8 hours fucking with the Fish.” Lee suggested causally in a very off the Cuff manner.

“That be fine if We were in fucking High School, come on Man that shit is so Played the fuck out. What’s Your next suggestion We smoke some Weed and go to the fucking Planetarium to catch a Later Light Show?!” responded Dizzy with a Great Deal of Disgust.

Lee sat back on the Couch to collect Himself since Dizzy’s attitude was currently Shit. Lee focused on a Massive Spider Web that encompassed an entire Corner of the Room. Lee thought what an amazing feet for such a small insect then it occurred to Him that He hadn’t actually seen the Spider, and considering the size of the Web it could be a Formidable Sized Spider. Lee started to psych Himself out as His eyes darted frantically around the Room searching for a Glimpse of the Illusive Arachnid.

“Hey We could Drive around and Pick Up Road Kill and Drop it on the Front Door of People We fucking Don’t Like Very Well.” said Dizzy with an enthusiastic tone in His Voice that communicated His excitement at this Option.

“First off We Don’t have a fucking Car so We’d have to call those Tech Nerd Ride People for a Lift. Now I have never used Their service before, BUT I can pretty much fucking Guarantee Our Driver wouldn’t dig the Idea of Us loading up His Trunk with Rotting Roadkill Carcasses. So I Don’t think that idea would fucking Pan Out.” said Lee crankily still a bit taken back by Dizzy’s response to His initial Idea.

“Ok How about We score a Case of Beer, Go down to the City Dump, Get Drunk, and Shoot Rats?” countered Dizzy taking a moment to sift through the Trash on the Floor with His foot.

“You have a Gun?” Lee asked though He didn’t find the Fact Dizzy Owning a Gun that Surprising to tell the Truth.

“Relax Scarface its just My Grandfather’s Old .22 Rifle that He used to Hunt O’possum and Armadillo for Food. He was one of those Gnarled Old Appalachian Mountain Men You Know,” answered Dizzy Happy to Reminisce about His Bad Ass Outlaw Grandpa,” He started smoking at age 8 and started Drinking Moonshine by 11. Spent His whole fucking Life breaking His fucking Back scratching Out a Meager Living do Odd Jobs and supplementing His minimum Income by Bootlegging and Trapping. He was one Hard motherfucker I’ll tell You That He could Make a Man piss Himself just by Glaring at Them.”

“While it’s Not the Worst idea of the Day I Don’t want to End up sitting on a shitty Syringe and wreaking of fucking Filth for Four or Five Days.” said Lee trying to be encouraging since being Proactive yielded far better Results than just Being Reactive.

“Alright The How about We go down to the Strip Mall, Strip buck Naked, and Run around like fucking Psycho’s like We’re on Bath Salt Bender?” suggested Dizzy after a brief and awkward pause.

“I give it a fucking A for Creativity thats for fucking Sure. The only Drawback is if We do that there’s virtually No Chance of Escape because it wouldn’t take long before Someone or Some Store Owner called the goddamn Cops. And while I love Extreme Pranks and Seriously fucking with People I don’t want to spend the Night in the Drunk Tank. That and it really Piss off My Probation Officer too.” replied Lee as He looked for a Lighter that actually worked to light His Cigarette with.

Stay Tuned for Next Weeks Enthralling Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER (47/365)

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober (12:24 am)

Lee Jonitis: Professional People Watcher (45/365)

Lee exited the Bathroom Post Haste, and once He was out He could hear Dizzy Shouting like a Lunatic. Lee looked around to see where Dizzy was when He saw that one of the Windows was open. While Lee was on a Sickening Safari of the Bathroom Dizzy had slipped out the Window onto the Rusty and Way Too Rickety Fire Escape. Lee poked His head out the Window to find Dizzy in the middle of a Heated Argument with a Disheveled looking Crackhead.

“I didn’t TOUCH Your fucking Shopping Cart Crackie! It was probably fucking STOLEN by one of Your Crackhead Cohorts You fucking Whack Job!” Hollered Dizzy at the Crackhead on the Street Below.

“BULLSHIT! I Know You fucked with My Cart Cracker, Your ALWAYS giving Me shit calling Me Names and Shit. You moved it because You wanna get rid of Me cuz You don’t like Me or My Associates living in Your Neighborhood!” screamed the Crackhead back at Dizzy who was preoccupied searching for something to Throw at Him.

“You don’t live ANYWHERE You Loiter around a CRACKHOUSE and Lurk creeping through the Streets like filthy fucking Paracites. Who the fuck do You think You are talking all this shit to Me you fucking Dope Addicted Asshole!” Dizzy Yelled back still looking for a Projectile to Launch at the stubborn Crackhead.

“GIVE ME MY CART! YOU OWE ME A CART! GET MY CART NOW YOU HONKEY MOTHERFUCKER!!” Demanded the Crackhead at the Top of His Shot Out Lungs

“FUCK OFF before I call the POLICE and You can Cop Crack in Cell Block 6 You Street Trash Crack Smoking cocksucker!” declared Dizzy Triumphantly as He Threw and Empty Pint of Wild Turkey 101 directly at the Angry Crackheads Face.

The Bottle flew flawlessly through the Air like a motherfucking Missile and hit the Crackhead right across the bridge of His nose. The Bottle exploded in a Shower of Glass Shards while simultaneously Breaking the Crackheads Nose. A Fountain of Blood came Gushing out of the Crackheads Nose like Niagara fucking Falls as He Collapsed to His knees. Once the Crackheads knees hit the Asphalt He instantly Slumped forward and started Wailing like a Wounded Animal. His blood collected in a growing Pool in front of Him as He sat in the middle of the street Brow Beaten and Defeated.

“Jesus Crack Smoking Christ,” exclaimed Dizzy reentered the Apartment, “Proof theres NEVER a Cop around when You need One. Thats why at the END of every Action Movie the Cops always come Charging in like the fucking Calvary AFTER THE FUCKING FACT. Mind You if I dared to take a fucking piss in an Alleyway I’d get Arrested in a fucking Heart Beat, but these Crack Smoking Sons of Bitches are allowed to Wonder wherever They want Without Issue.”

“Thats the Hypocrisy of the Police. Who exactly do They Protect? Who the fuck do They Serve? The fucking Government thats Who the Authoritarian Assholes.” replied Lee as He felt the same fucking way about it as Dizzy did.

“Well now that the Crackhead and the Case of the Missing Cart is Complete what I want to know is what the hell are We gonna do for the rest of the Day.” announced Dizzy rather Impatiently.

“The Best thing to do is consider Our Options I suppose.” answered Lee Honestly as He surveyed the Stalagmites of Dust hanging from Dizzy’s ceiling which Lee thought looked like wads of Ghost Cum to Him.

Stay Tuned for the Next Invigorating Installment of………

LEE JONITIS: PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WATCHER 46/365

(This Sunday We return to Our usual Lee Jonitis Posts)

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

We’re The Worst Superhero’s of All Time

My Wife and I had planned a Road Trip to get Out of Town for a While and to take a break from Life’s endless Trial, Tribulations, and General Horseshit. We board Our 4 Large Rottweilers at a Boarding Facility a Couple of Towns Over from Our little Neck of the Woods. We Board them since 4 Rottweilers on the Road in a fucking Hatchback would be an Insane Undertaking.

We loaded Up the Dogs and hit the Road headed to a Town a few over from us. It was a pleasantly sunny Day but Hot as a Motherfucker with a Humidity Index of 90%. My Wife was Driving and I saw mindlessly staring out the Window checking out the Scenery as We drove along to Our Destination.

Far down the Road almost almost out of Sight a Black SUV looking Vehicle that had pulled up in front of one of the Many Abandoned Buildings that Dot the Countryside, and all of a Sudden the Vehicle took off like a Bat Ot of Hell with its ass on Fire. The Vehicle quickly disappeared out of Sight and We continued Our uneventful Drive.

The Next thing I saw was truly one of those things that makes You think to Yourself What The Fuck s That About. As I was blankly staring at the Thick Woods that lined the side of the Road I saw a Man with a Shaved Head, Shirtless, with a Homeless Floridian Panhandler’s Tan, and carrying what appeared to be a Military Type Duffle Bad Deal slung over His Shoulder. He stuck out like the Preverbal sore fucking Thumb since We were in a long and virtually uninhabited stretch of Road with a Few scattered Houses spaced Out along it.

The weirdest fucking thing was this Guy was Walking Out of the Woods towards the Road. This normally wouldn’t concern Me in the Least as I have said We live in the Boonies so Seeing a Hunter decked out in Head to Toe Camo standing on the Side of the Road or walking out of the Woods is just Typical around here. This Guy wasn’t a Hunter in fact for all intensive purposes He looked like a fucking Homeless Junkie.

Before I could even make comment to My Wife about the Strange Junkie Emerging from the Woods We came around a Blind Curve, and there was the Black SUV Vehicle that had come to a COMPLETE dead Stop as if it was in a Parking Spot at some fucking Walmart. Since it was a Blind fucking curve there was 20 feet between Our car goin 50 miles an Hour or so (The Speed limit is 55 on that road, but as You can imagine People drive even Faster because they can’t seem to kill themselves fast enough.) and the Unknown Vehicle that was again at a DEAD STOP. I had just enough time to say My Wife’s Name and then all We could do is Prepare for Impact.

Our Lives didn’t flash before Our eyes, It wasn’t like being in a fucking Movie, and Nothing appeared to go into Slow Motion. I a split NANO SECOND I saw the Vehicle and thought Holy fucking Shit Their not Moving, and then just simply the word Fuck then We collided with the Rear End of the Vehicle in Question. We hit so fucking Hard not only did BOTH Air Bags Deploy they fucking Exploded filling the Car with a think Cloud of Chemical Dust that smelled like Burning Plastic. The Hood of the Car was crumpled all the way back to the base of the Shattered Windshield like a Crinkle Cut Fry.

The Dogs thank fucking God weren’t Hurt as They slammed against Each other and collapsed in a Heap all accept for Mama Dog who had been sitting between the Front seats so She could see out the Windshield. Mama Dog came flying forward between the Seats Head First towards the Windshield, and I stuck My Arm Out like a Toll Gate catching Her before She smacked into the Windshield or the Dash Board. Our Ears were ringing, We were uncontrollably shaking a good Bit, and Spent the first couple of Minutes trying to figure Out if We were in fact Dead. Luckily We were alive and Not seriously Hurt.

My Wife excited the Vehicle by Squeezing Herself out the Car door that at this point barely Opened enough for Her to do so. I checked on the Dogs who were handling the Accident far better it appeared than We Humans. I then had to Crawl out of the Car Window since My Door was so jacked the fuck up it Couldn’t Open not even a Crack. The Other driver walked Over to Us as I slid out of the Car Window, and looked as in Shock as We did as Everyone’s Adrenaline was Flowing like the fucking Mississippi River after a Major Down Pour. The Entire Engine lay Exposed to the Sun tilted to the Left, Anti Freeze along with Oil and Radiator Water were Draining Out Every fucking where. There was Shrapnel consisting of the Front Bumper, Head Lights, and Various Extraneous Debris splayed out across the Asphalt.

We established No One was seriously Hurt and as We stood there in Shock to the Point No One could Figure Out what to do Next. We finally Mentally collected Ourselves enough to think some what strait and knew We had to call the Police and then Our Insurance Company immediately. Before We could call the Cops a Gnarly Fire Fighter Rescue Pick Up Truck pulled up Behind Our Vehicle. The Truck was fucking Huge even by Truck standards and had Flashing Lights on Top with the Station Number in the Middle of a Badge Insignia (1211 by the way). The Driver was a rather Big Fellow decked out in Navy Blue Cargo Pants, Shit Kicker Boots, Navy T-shirt with The Fire Rescuer’s Emblem on it, and a Navy hat also sporting the Fire Rescue Logo.

The Fire Rescue Fellow showed up so Fast like I said We hadn’t even dialed the Police as We all were still Badly Shaken Up by what had just occurred. It turned Out there was another Young Man not looking a Day over 22 with the Fire Rescue Fellow who jumped out, threw on a Florescent Yellow Vest like the Road Construction Crews wear, and crossed to the Other side of the Road to Direct Traffic as the Vehicle We Hit was still parked in the road blocking the Entire Lane.

The Next to Show was the Ambulance and the EMTS who We informed were not needed at this Time as No One was Seriously Hurt nor Requesting Medical Attention. I’d like to pause here for a brief second. I fully fucking Believe there should be a 24 Hour Medical Consultation Law that Allows Victims of Car Accidents a FULL 24 Hours to Seek Treatment POST Accident. This is due to the Fact that with all the fucking Adrenaline and Sheer Shock of it All People aren’t aware of Injuries at the exact Time o the Crash. I mean unless Your Unconscious, Profusely Bleeding, have a Broken Limb, or are Trapped in the Wreck People always Dismiss the Paramedics. Then later when the Adrenaline and its wonderful knifing effects wear the hell off You start to become aware of all the Sore Muscles, Bruises, Scratches, and Cuts that You incurred in the Accident.

Now Back to Our Story.

Its at this Point The Story takes an Unforeseen Twist when the Fire Rescue Fellow asks My Wife and I if We saw the Bald Junkie Dude run into the Woods with something and then Run back out again. We told the Fire Rescue Fellow What We had seen and then told Him that after Impact We were to fucked in the Head to Notice what the fuck The Junkie did or didn’t do. I then informed the Fire Rescue Fellow of what I had seen before the collision. The Fire Rescue Fellow informed us the reason He had made it onto the Scene so Fast was the Next Car to come down the Road after Our accident was in fact His Brother who called Him Directly to report the Crash and let His Brother Know some Guy had run into the Woods to ditch Who Knows What. The Fire Rescue Fellow then told Us He would remain at the Crash Site because and I quote “Theres something Not right about those Guys.” referring to the Occupants of the Other Car.

The Other Driver walked up and instantly the Fire Rescue Fellow asked Her straight up what was it that the Guy hid in the Woods. She of course says She has No fucking Clue who He is or That She was picking Him Up. She went on to say the Other Woman in the Car who looked like Your Stereotypical Meth Addict was Her Best Friend who She hadn’t seen in 6 months (More than likely because the bitch was doing a 6 month bit in County Jail), and the Guy was Her Boyfriends who again She had No Clue about. This is a Classic Drug Addict explanation as its full of fucking Holes. The Fire Rescue Fellow tells the Woman The Police are in Route, and He’ll have Them bring a K-9 Unit out if Necessary. She stuck to Her story and things progressed.

A Actual Fire Truck showed Up, but since there was No Fire (Thank fucking God) there was No Need for Them so They left for Somewhere They were in fact Needed. As The Fire Truck was pulling away the Local Sheriff Patrol Cars pulled Up. The Sheriffs made Sure We were indeed Ok and Prceeded to Help Direct the increasing amount of Traffic that was backing Up as The Sheriffs Closed BOTH Lanes simultaneously. The Sheriffs also made sure No One tried to Leave the Scene of the accident, and to Insure there was No Physical Confrontation between those involved in the Accident.

I’m not gonna lie as I stood there watching things unfold I had to fight the Impulse to Run Over to the Other Vehicle (which was a Jeep it turned out not an SUV), and Beat the Holy fucking shit Out of the Junkie Dude since it was essentially His fault. If His filthy Drug Addled ass was being picked up on the side of the fucking Road by His Drug Addict supposed Girlfriend and the Other Driver NON of this Would have Happened.

By Now the Few scattered People living out that way had made Their way from Their Houses near by to the Accident Site, and We the Coolest Bunch of People they were the kind of People that restore Ones Lost Faith in Humanity that’s for sure. Everyone of Them asked if We were Ok, if We needed Anything, and Brought Not Just Us but Our Dogs Cold Bottles of Water. No joking here but These Good Samaritans were as concerned for Our Dog’s Welfare as much as Ours which I found to be utterly fucking Awesome.

My Wife at this Point was on the Phone reporting the Accident to Our insurance Company as I tended to the Dogs making sure They had Water and didn’t try and Jump out of the Car during all the commotion. I called My Mother who is My only relative around these parts and asked Her to come over and Pick Up the Poor Dogs since it was Hot and Humid as Hell. The Last fucking thing We needed was for a Dog to suffer a fucking Heat Stroke from baking in the Car now turned Oven. Thankfully She was at Home and ready to lend a Helping Hand however it was needed. She arrived about 23 minutes later and My Wife and I loaded Up the Four Dogs into Her Air Conditioned Car.

It was also at this point the Sheriffs made sure Everyone Stood Roadside as the Woods were Now Off Limits to Anyone Who wasn’t Law Enforcement. The Highway Patrol was called in to Deal with the Actual Accident and would be arriving shortly. Also I nice Older Man who Lived about 150 feet from the Accident Site told My Mother She could park in His Drive Way which was Shady and would keep Her out of The Polices Way. I walked down to His Driveway and He came out of His Workshop (Turns Out He’s a Welder among other things) with a Big Bowl of Fresh Cold Water for Our Dogs.

Time Passed as the Three Ring Circus of an Accident was in full Swing, and I couldn’t take the Dogs Home because the Highway Patrol would want My Account of the Accident. So I stood in this Nice Old Guy’s Front Year watching the Fiasco for a While. Eventually the Fire Rescue Fellow walked over to Me and Informed Me that The Deputy’s (Yet more Law Enforcement) had arrived and were currently in the Process of Arresting the Meth Head Girlfriend Passenger in the Jeep We hit because She had NOT One, BUT SEVERAL ACTIVE WARRANTS OUT FOR HER ARREST. So She was Off to Jail. I again won’t lie this Delighted Me because it was Her Scummy Junkie Boyfriend they were Picking Up.

Apparently I was told that Each Law Enforcement Agency had its Own Particular Role in this Situation. As I said earlier The Sheriff was there for the Initial Assessment and to Keep the Peace. The Highway Patrol was there sole for the Accident, and the Deputies were there to Arrest The Junkie’s Meth Mouthed Girlfriend so there were a lot of motherfuckers with Badges.

Another Development had occurred while My Wife was still Maning the Phones like a fucking Champ, and I was keeping My Mother and Dogs company while chatting with the Nice Older Man and His Adult Daughter. It just so happened there was a Petty Thief that had been operating in their Area Breaking into Vacation Houses, Boat Houses, Garages, Tool Sheds, Workshops, and Vehicles to Steal whatever They could. THIS was the reason for the Fire Rescue Fellows Diligence, and the subsequent interest of the Various Police Departments in the Bald Junkie fuck I had seen walking Out of the Woods before the Accident.

The Police had been actively searching the Woods and had located several Stashes of Peoples Personal Property that the Bald Son of a Bitch had STOLEN and then since obviously He didn’t have a Car Hid in the Woods to swing back and pick up at a Later Date. Of course the Entire Time the Two Druggie Scumbags are Lying every which way to avoid the Increasingly good Possibility They BOTH would End up in Jail by the End of it all. With His Meth Loving Girlfriend was taken into Custody and He was put in Handcuffs He shut right the fuck up. And Yes in the End the Bald Bastard turned out in a Scooby Doo Twist to be the Piece of Shit Revolting Robber so He went to Jail just like His Meth Hooker Looking Girlfriend. As it turned out The Last Person this Scumfucks Junkie Robbed was as it turned out the Nice Older Man’s Place as His Daughter had conferred with the Cops, and Identified several items that belonged to Her Father.

The Highway Patrol finished up all the bullshit Paper work and Sited the Driver of the Jeep with a Ticket and Court Summons for making an “Illegal Stop”, returned My Wife and My Drivers Licenses, and told Us That We were in No Way required to show up on the Jeep Drivers Court Date, BUT if We did it would Help Them Nail Her to the fucking Wall. So Yes We are going I think it will be nice to be in Court and NOT being the Defendant and of Course FUCK HER THE BATSHIT BITCH. Fuck Up My Plans and I’ll Fuck Up Your LIFE.

Then My Wife got a Ride Home with the Tow Truck Driver who had showed up while We were with the Highway Patrol. I rejoined My Mother in Her car and Took the Dogs on Home at Last. The SOLE thing that gave this Shit Cloud a Silver Lining was when the Deputy Officer made a point of telling Us that Not to take it the Wrong Way, But as Unfortunate as Our Accident Was and Giving that No One was Seriously Hurt Had in Fact “Solved a lot of Problems for Us.”

(1) (2)

SO there You have it My Wife and I are in fact Superhero’s. Superhero’s without ANY Super Powers or Crime Fighting Weapons (like Batman). No We just Drive Around and Stop Crime by Crashing into Criminals. Then We simply Wait for the Cops to Come and Arrest Them. That would effectively make Us the WORST SUPERHEROES OF ALL TIME.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober (3)

Davey on Acid and The Friendly Ass Biter

It was a Mildly Pleasant Summer Day in Suburban Hell when I met up with My partner in Crime Armenian who just so happened to have some Seriously Intense LSD. Since there was never anything to do (which explains all the Drug Use) in Our Tiny Town so We had to be Creative.

On this Day Armenian and I decided to visit an Acquaintance of Ours named Davey. I say acquaintance since We weren’t actually Friends, but We knew each other because We moved in the same Social Circles. I expressed the interest in seeing what Davey would be like on Acid, and thus Our Plan for the Day materialized. I called Davey who was Home and had nothing in particular to do and had No Objection to Hanging Out. Armenian and I then rode Our Dirt Bikes over to Davey’s since We had Our Driver’s Licenses, BUT Neither of Us had a Car.

We showed up at Davey’s a little after Noon to find Him tooling around on His Skateboard in His Driveway. We loitered in the Driveway contemplating what the fuck to do Next since We were in the Possession of Intense LSD, and Davey’s Parents were Home. We didn’t want to Drop Acid at Davey’s thats for fucking sure. There is nothing more awkwardly fucked up than having to Deal with Your or a Friends Parents while Your Tripping Face.

Again not have a Car impeded Our Prospects greatly to say the least. In the End We did the Only thing We could think of because the other issue at Hand was We were all Broke as Hell, and that was to take a Walk. With Our plan now in place We took the Acid, and made Our way to the Woods that bordered Davey’s Neighborhood since it was Secluded. The last thing We wanted was to be aimlessly wondering the Streets were We were vulnerable and could run into other People like Davey’s Neighbor’s, Assholes from Our High School, The Pissy Police, Little Kids, Pets, the Elderly, and Landscapers for example.

By the time We had leisurely strolled over to the Woods the Acid was beginning to kick in Big Time. The disassociating of Reality and Distortion of Time started to Set in along with the Nervous Excitement for the Hallucinatory Adventure ahead of Us. We haphazardly made Our way to a small clearing in the Woods that was utilized by The Teens of Town for Underage Drinking and Smoking Pot. Once We reached the Clearing thats exactly what We did We smoked several joints as the Acid took Full Effect.

We collectively made the Decision that We should leave the Clearing before some other Partiers Showed up. We thought it be best to head down to the near by Creek, Yet We were having a Great Deal of Trouble Locating it as Hallucinations made it Hard to get One’s bearings as You might imagine. After stumbling around and over one another We located a Path (at least at the Time it appeared to be a Path) and figured We were Lost because We hadn’t remember there was in fact a Path We could follow that would lead Us down to the Creek We were seeking for So Diligently.

As We were walking along I pulled a Bur (one of thoseCircular fuckers with all the Prongs) off of My Pant Leg. Armenian who was walking beside Me informed Me I had come in Contact with an Ass Biter. At that point I asked the Only Pertinent question Asking if said Ass Biter was Friendly or Hostile?! To My relief Armenian respond by saying that the Ass Biter in question was indeed Friendly. I looked and saw Davey walking a good bit ahead of Us and still mulling the Bur over between My fingers I thought it be absolutely fucking Hilarious to Toss the Bur at Davey.

Once I lobbed the Bur at Davey I yelled “FRIENDLY ASS BITER!” to for Shits and Giggles. Now I don’t know where Davey’s Head was at the moment I threw the Newly Dubbed Friendly Ass Biter at Him, BUT I think it was Safe to assume He wasn’t in a good Head Space. As soon as I made My Exclamation Davey turned to Look at Me and then took off as Fast as His fucking Feet could take Him off the Path and headlong into the Woods. Armenian and I called after Him letting Him know it was a Joke and He wasn’t in any danger at all, Yet Davey couldn’t be dissuaded and just kept Hauling Ass.

Armenian and I took off in pursuit of Davey but We eventually Lost sight of Him as We got more and more turned around. Then Armenian heard the sound of the Creek and thought it be a Prime spot for Davey to run off to and I agreed. We followed the sound of Flowing Water until We came to the Creek, and We found Davey standing Waist Deep in the fucking Middle of the Creek. Davey was holding completely still like a Statue all accept for His eyes which were Darting back and forth from Bank to Bank as if The Ground was Alive and expected it to Snatch Him Up at any Second.

Armenian asked Davey what exactly He was doing to which Davey replied that Friendly Ass Biters couldn’t Swim and thus were Terrified of Water. I told Davey he needed to get the fuck out of the Creek so We could find Our way out of the fucking Forrest. Davey refused to move Firmly His Ground and the more I tried to get Him out the More Davey dug Himself in. I looked at Armenian with a “What the fuck do We do Now” expression plastered across it.

Armenian to His credit snapped into Action and told Davey that the Government had be Alerted to the Plague of Friendly Ass Biters. And since the Government was made Aware of the Threat had Planes fly over all Wooded Areas and Spray a Non Toxic Anti Ass Biter Agent. This Water Based Agent had been Highly Effective as the Government had just Announced that all Friendly Ass Biter had been utterly Eradicated. Armenian’s bullshit story worked like a Charm and Davey came lumbering out of the Creek without Question.

We made Our way out of the Woods and back to Davey’s which took God knows how long to Achieve. Once at Davey’s His Dad had left to go Golfing or some other dumb ass Suburban Dad Horseshit, and His Mom was putting Davey’s Baby Brother down for a Nap. We took advantage of this and had Davey run inside and retrieve His Cordless Phone which He did flawlessly without freaking out or getting distracted, or just plain forgetting what He was doing. We managed to finally get a hold of a Friend who had access to a Car who came and Picked Us up. We then bummed a Ride to Our Local Mall, BUT thats a Story for Another Day.

Thank for Reading,

By Les Sober

So It All Started When………

So it all Started when I was Driving to the Gadget Store to pick Up a New Tomato Polisher to give to My Wife for Our 57th Wedding Anniversary. Out of fucking No Where a Naked Guy Higher than God on BathSalts Leapt into the Middle of the Road trying to Eat His Own Face. He had already Consumed His Lips and was Futilely trying to Shove the Rest of His Face into His Mouth.

I sweared like a son of a bitch and Accidentally Drove of the Road to Avoid turning the Man into a Human Meat Sack. As My Car charged Head First Down a the Stereo embankment Zigging and Zagging through the Bumper Car Course from Hell. At Last My Car came to a Abrupt Stop after the Wheels got Entangled in Under Brush.

I exited My Car and Started to Treck through the Dense Woods in Search of Civilization. As I strolled along I heard a particularly Strange and some what Disturbing Sound. It sounded Like a Rabid Wounded Grizzly Bear, and its Prey had fallen Head First into a Giant ass Blender. Curious I wondered towards the Unknown Noise until I reached a Near by Clearing in the Woods. There I laid Eyes on One of the Greatest Abominations I have ever born Witness too.

There is that Clearing was Only what I can Assume was Bigfoot who looked Nothing really like the Stereotypically Depiction of what Bigfoot is thought to look like. This Humanoid Creature was in deed HUGH standing around 8 Feet Tall, weighted approximately 400 plus Pounds, and was in need of some Serious Industrial Manscaping (Due to the fact this Creature had Excessive amounts of Body Hair I could see Why Some People Mistook the Body Hair for actual Fur). The Bigfoot though had the Physical Characteristics not of an Ape, but much more like that of a Neanderthal Caveman with a Sloped Head with a Pronounced Brow.

The Bigfoot like Creature was engaged in a Rowdily fucking a Large Brown Bear, or Perhaps It was Raping It I’m not too sure. I’m not sure because I have No fucking Clue what a Fully Grown Adult Brown Bear or a Suspected Bigfoot sound like while having Sex. All I’m saying is when Cats Fight or Fuck it sounds the Same which is as if They were being Skinned Alive.

Not wanting to be Spotted and running the Risk of Being Killed or Worse Dragged into This Interspecial Clusterfuck. So I took off as Fast as My Legs could carry Me. After a Few Minutes of Running through the Woods I came across a Small Zoo on the Boarder of the Woods and a Rather Large Looking Town. I made my way to the Front Gate only to find it Chained Shut with a sign hanging on it that read “Closed for Mating Season”.

I figured even if the Zoo wasn’t currently Open to the Public there still has to be a handful of Staff on the Premises to Clean, Feed, and Tend to the Care of the Zoo;s Animal Population. I scaled the Fence and let Myself In. As I explored the Zoo I gravitated over to the Penguin Enclosure since I personally think Penguins are Dope as Fuck. I still had yet to locate a Staff Member and decided since I was already in the Zoo I may as well Treat Myself to a Round of Penguin Spotting.

I entered the Building that Housed the Penguin Enclosure and started to Look Around. As I was staring at a Colony of Emperor Penguins I became aware that for a Building Housing Penguins this One was Rather Warm, Yet the Snow/Ice in the Enclosure(s) was Melting in spite of the Above Average South Pole/North Pole / Arctic Temperatures. I simply Couldn’t get My head around it defied Science. I figured something had gone wrong technically maybe the Cooling System had Broken Down or was About or To something to that effect.

I searched around until I located the Access Door that lead Directly into the Actual Penguin Enclosure and once again let Myself in. As soon as I set foot into the Enclosure a Malicious Penguin Slide Tackled Me, and in Response I fell flat on My face in a Big Old Snow Bank. Just then a Second Penguin landed on My back knocking the Wind Out of Me. As I tried to Stand Breathing in Heavily in an attempt to Catch My Breath I inhaled a large Portion of the Snow Bank. Once I got to My Feet I realized this Snow was gritty like Sand, and no where Near Cold as it seemed to be Room Temperature.

A Second or Two later I felt a Rush of Energy that felt like NASA had Launched a Rocket up My Ass. I could hear My Hair Growing and there was a Low constant Humming in My Ears. I then became insanely aware of My Surroundings and started to become intensely Paranoid. I thought to Myself that perhaps this is what it was like to Loose One’s Mind as My Heart was Booming a Death Metal Band’s Bass Drum. I scrambled Frantically out of the Enclosure and bolted out of The Penguin House in Haste.

Once outside again I freaked the fuck Out as I became Overwhelmed by the Situation and remembered I was in fact Trespassing after Breaking an Entering. I knew I had to get the hell out of the Zoo no matter what before I got Arrested for My Illegal Shenanigans. I started sprinting from Building to Building, Enclosure to Enclosure trying to find a Posted Map of the Zoo’s Layout.

Before I found One The Zoo was inundated with Militant DEA Agents wearing Bullet Proof Vests, Guns Drawn, and Their Badges swinging wildly around Their Necks from cheap Chains. I was apprehended immediately and taken into Custody. Luckily I managed to inform the Agents I wasn’t a Zoo Employee which They then Verified. They uncured Me and told Me to Remain where I was until instructed Further as I had already gotten in the Way of Their Drug Raid.

It turned out that the Zoo wasn’t closed for Mating Season as the sign stated, but it was Closed for Drug Smuggling. As it turned Out the Employees of the Zoo had a MASSIVE Meth Lab in the Basement of the Penguin House. As They Manufactured Kilo after Kilo of High Grade Crystal Meth the Hid it in Plain Sight by Masking Their Meth as Actual Snow.

In the End 37 Zoo Employees were Arrested in the Raid and the DEA Confiscated over 2 Tons of Amassed Crystal Meth making it the Biggest Meth Bust bu the DEA in Meth History.

Thanks for Reading,

By Les Sober

GG Allin: The Profile of a Rock’N Roll Terorist

As Most of Our Readers are aware I am a HUGE GG Allin Fan I mean FYB has done 3 Pictorial Posts (with a 4th in The Works) dedicated to GG Allin and His Musical Career of Infamy.

In Addition to the Pictorials FYB also posted a Copy of GG Allin’s Legendary Song “Bit It You Scum”. I did that because No matter if I’m having one of the Greatest Days in My Life OR One of the Absolutely Shittiest Days of My Life either way if I put on GG’s “Bite It You Scum” it always makes Me Smile.

NOW Do Not get Me wrong I am NOT DEVIATING from My original Statement on the subject of GG Allin. I said I WILL NOT write a Typical or Traditional Bio Post because there’s No Point it’d just be an Exercise in Futility. What I mean to say is simply there isn’t ANYTHING I could write a Biographical Post about GG that isn’t just like all the Other Posts/Articles Out there on Google. Its all been said before so to say it now is just Regurgitating the Same Shit over, and over again.

So to Honor GG Allin and His Music just as FYB as recently done with Shitfucker and Silencer I devised the following Three (3) Video Tribute.

The FIRST video is the 1993 Cult Documentary by then Film Student Todd Phillips (who later went on to make: Old School, Road Trip, The Hangover Trilogy, War Dogs, Borat, and More) called “Hated GG Allin and The Murder Junkies” NOT Hated in the Nation which was the GG Allin Album.

This Documentary follows the Life and Times of GG Allin featuring Concert Footage as well as Interviews with Family Members, Friends, Fanatical Fans, and Fellow Band Mates.

The Second Video is the 2008 Short Film Documentary by Jay McBeth called “Live Fast, Die” which is Quite Different than “Hated”. This Story is the Story of so many GG Fans because like Jay and countless others I discovered GG by complete coincidence. I was at an Indue Record Store poking around the Bins, and I stumbled across a bunch of GG Allin CDs.

This Documentary with a running Time of just 28 minutes and change I believe is the Better of the Two Films. “Live Fast, Die” takes a different approached to the subject of GG in it follows the Curiosity of What made GG Tick or What Made GG Allin who He Was. It’s more about the Man than His outrageous and often Illegal Live Shows or Personal Life like “Hated”.

The Third Video is one of Several Video Versions of GG Allin’s “Bite It you Scum” played Live in Concert since We already Posted the Lyrics w/ Pics.

Enjoy………

ALRIGHT WELL FUCK TODD PHILLIPS. Todd had “Hated GG Allin and The Murder Junkies” posted on Youtube FOR FREE. I know because I watched it like 400 fucking times. ANYWAY Todd apparently now wants $1.99 for the pleasure of Watching His Film that was previously FREE. GRANTED $2 is nothing really, BUT I WILL NOT PAY ON PRINCIPLE.

The Film was Free until Fans started making it More Popular to those outside of the GG Allin Universe, and since Todd has also had time to make Big fucking Hollywood Comedies He now seems to feel He can and will Charge $2. Again for a Film NO ONE FUCKING KNEW OF ACCEPT DIE HARD GG FANS WHO THEN MADE IT MORE POPULAR AND ARE NOW GETTING NICKLE AND DIMED OVER IT.

Fuck Todd Phillips personally in light of this I will say “Hated” is the only decent Film Todd Phillips had made the rest is Over Rated Recycled Hollywood Big Budget Bullshit so Fuck Him.

SO I WILL NOW POST A TRAILER FOR ‘Hated GG Allin and The Murder Junkies” Below instead of the Film since it is No Longer Free.

NOTE: Also I will be Posting an Entire Concert by GG Allin and The Murder Junkies to make up for Todd Phillips being a Greedy Hollywood Cocksucker.

SORRY for the Interruption, We now return You to The Regularly Scheduled Post Currently in Progress Please Enjoy.

OK SEE WHAT I SAID! Todd is REALLY milking this Film for all its fucking Worth. I have NEVER seen this Trailer Before, and The Cover of the Film has been changed from the ORIGINAL cover. All this bullshit because Todd got Hollywood a Hard On, and now with the Anniversary the Greedy Twat is Now Charging $2 to view his Film that agin was PERVIOUSLY POSTED FOR FREE.

And Now Ladies and Genitals Welcome to the Stage The One, The Only, The Rock’n Roll Terrorist GG ALLIN & THE MURDER JUNKIES! Enjoy.

Well I’m still Pissed Off About Toddy Phillips’s Greedy Money Grubbing Student fucking Film. SO I’M Adding a BONUS VIDEO.

The Following Video is a Interview with GG Allin FROM PRISON. Enjoy Kids.

Thanks for Reading & Watching,

Brought to You By Les Sober.

The Hallucinatory Hoax: The Placebo Effect Is Real

I have mention once or twice before that after I graduated High School and thought I knew everything about fucking everything. Instead of making the smart decision to go to Collage My buddies (The Arminian and His long time Girlfriend E) and I decided to try our hand at Drug Dealing. Now This was a Time before the Prescription Pill (Xanax, Vicodin, Oxycontin, Valium, and all that Man Mad madness began. Also its’ important to point out We didn’t sell Hardcore Street Drugs so We didn’t deal Heroin, Crack, or Cocaine.

We dealt Marijuana (which is NOT A DRUG but it was Illegal at the Time as California had been to that point the ONLY State that had approved Legal medical Marijuana) LSD in both Blotter & Liquid, Magic Mushrooms, Angel Dust, Ecstasy, a little PCP, and Meth which was a quite few Years away from becoming the National Epidemic it has become today. I mean the first time We decided to sell it (it just called Crystal way back when), and I had no fucking idea what it was. I had done Speed/Crank before, but like I said this was in the very early days of Meth.

One of Our biggest Hits if you will was some Highly Potent Blotter Acid called Black Magic. It was called Black Magic because one side was of course plain white and the reverse side had an insanely intricately detailed swirling tribal like Pattern in Black. This was the Acid that I mentioned in another post that was so goddamn strong we cut the Normal sized Hits in Half and sold the Halves as Wholes without complaint from a single customer.

This was of course a great advantage since we were going to Double our profit Margin. Also it may seem weird to most people but believe it or not most Drug Dealers do have feelings, and care to some degree about Their clients/Clientele. We were very glad We had personally tried The Black Magic (as a Quality Test) before selling a single dose to anyone. If We had for whatever reason sold Regular standard sized Hits of Black Magic We would have been ridden with Guilt and racked with worry at selling such a powerful Hallucinogenic Product to utterly unsuspecting Buyers.

Every Dealer has the same categories of Clients. There are the Regulars who You see frequently and are more social with, and then There are the Big Fish Who Buy in Bulk because they’re not just looking to Party this weekend, but for an entire year of Weekends. Then You have the once an a while acquaintances who buy off You intermittently, and of course You have the Chumps who are the sad sacks who get exploited by Their dealers because They’re ignorant and more over usually obnoxiously Annoying. They’re essentially Narcotic Nerds for lack of a better term.

Our to Chumps being due to a small town were also ironically regulars, but they just so happened to be a grade or so behind us. To keep Our strangle Hold on the High School Sales Market We had a Friend of Ours Cid (like Acid minus the A) who too was a year behind us. We all really adored the shit out of Cid the guy was Sarcastically Absurd and insanely fucking funny.

Cid was also Loyal and would never Narc Us out if the shit hit the Fan. Also He was trustworthy as Hell I mean He’d pretty much have to be right?! I mean We had to intrust Him with Our drugs AND Our Money in good Faith. And for His part Cid never fucked around with Our product, and His cash counts were NEVER even a Nickel Off.

So when We got Our hands on the Black Magic We figured when it came to Our Dipshit Duo We could (if the plan was successful) triple our Money dealing to these Two Tools. Our Plan was very simplistic indeed. We would Sell them One Half Hit of the Black Magic, and a Second Dose that was entirely fucking fake. Since the Chumps hand’t heard about the New Batch of Acid, We would tell Them the fakes were the last of Our previous batch, and that gave us another advantage when it came to our plan. The whole plan was based on the belief that if the Two Turds took BOTH hits They’d never know one was fake.

To make the Fake Hits We cut Open a Letter Envelope the kind with the Safety Design on the inside so You couldn’t hold it up to the Light and see what it was (like say a check for example). To add authenticity We used the Serrated Side of a fucking Butter Knife to create the perforation that so many People were familiar with (Our never came Perforated. It was just one solid Sheet of Blotter Paper), and then applied the slightest mix of Pure Lemon Juice Extract and Table Salt to lend to Authenticity though I have no fucking idea why. None of the Hundreds of Doses of Various Kinds of LSD have never had a taste or residual taste as the case may be.

Once We were done We called Cid who came over and we informed Him of the Plan at Hand when it came to dealing to the Two Twits which He thought was imaginative and Hilarious. And that was that after We told Cid what was up He left with His supplies and said He’d see Us in a couple of Days. A Couple of Days passed on by and true to His word Cid called and said He’d be stopping by Shortly to settle up.

When Cid arrived We ushered Him into the Apartment, handed Him a Beer, and asked what was going on. Cid got a dumb founded look on His face which startled not to mention concerned Us since We assumed the Face was indicative of some shitty issue We would have to deal with. Cid took a minute to comprise Himself before answering. Cid then went on to Tell Us that the Two Twats had taken the Bait hook, Line, and Sinker. Cid then put our minds at ease when He confirmed that Our Marks hadn’t figured out the Scam, but that wasn’t all Cid said.

Apparently Chump One in fact did as we perceived He’d do and took Both Hits (I’m not sure if it was actually at the same time or one after the other in an overlapping situation) and was Obliviously Happy. Here’s where it gets fucking really kind of fucking weird. The Second Chump only took the FAKE hit, but instead of discovering Our scam and getting pissed off He had approached Cid requesting MORE OF THE FAKE ACID.

After racking Our brains in complete confusion as We sat Dumbfounded by what We had just heard, and Cid didn’t fuck around when it came to Business so We knew He wasn’t messing with Us. In the End We had come up with only two possible scenarios that could possibly explain what had in fact happened.

ONE it was the simple BUT EXTREMELY EFFECTIVE Placebo Effect. This means (even though the Acid the Guy took was 100% fucking fake) because He BELIEVED it was real He thought He experienced the Effects of LSD though He had ingested NONE.

TWO was a bit tricker to figure out as a possible explanation. The only other thing that could justify this odd occurrence was that after taking the Hit the Second Chump DID realize it was fake BUT decided not to mention it because He may have been to afraid to do it (and might have been pressured into it by His Friend the Other Chump in question), and was relieved to find out it was Fake. That way He would have avoided any fear he had of doing LSD, and since No one was the wiser He could also get the credit if you will for taking LSD.

Yet to this Day None of Us truly know what the fuck the Second Chump’s true intentions were in this, and chances are We never fucking Will.

Thanks For Reading,

By Les Sober